Can't Let Go
by McDimplesBaby
Summary: ARILIZA A/U - Multi millionaire Arizona Robbins is looking for the woman of her dreams, but will the new woman in her life turn out to be everything she hoped she would? Will she only be left broken hearted...Rated M for future chapters. **COMPLETE**
1. Chapter 1

**Right guys, this is a new one. It was requested by a follower (to a degree, all will be revealed) and it WILL be full of angst, but ultimately ARILIZA will be endgame...obviously *rolls eyes***

 **The description states angst and drama, so please...if it's not your thing, don't read it. Please don't leave reviews commenting on the angst because that's how it will be. As I say, it will all come good in the end, but until then...it will be full of broken hearts and tears!**

 **I own nothing. All characters/storylines belong to Shonda. I'm simply 'borrowing' them.**

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Chapter One

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ARIZONA'S POV

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I'm tired of this. I'm tired of sitting in these bars every weekend and trying to find the woman of my dreams. I mean, maybe I'm not supposed to have a soul mate. Maybe I'm not supposed to settle down and fall in love. That's how it seems lately. How many times do I have to go on god awful dates and sit through them because I'm too much of nice person to cut them short? Maybe it's the desperation, I don't know. Like, I try my very best to like the women I meet. I try my best to listen, and take in their beauty, but no…I still go home and throw their number in the trash. I've just never felt that connection with any of them. I've never felt that spark. That flutter. That…well, anything.

My last serious relationship was almost eighteen months ago now. It was great, awesome even, but it turns out we didn't want the same things. It turns out she also liked the idea of an open relationship and well, that's just a no. A huge no. I don't share. I'll never share. Sure, some people are into that kinda thing, but not me. So, I ended the relationship. What's the point in torturing yourself and wondering if it's ever going to go anywhere? Especially when we both knew that it wasn't. It's the right thing to do, right? It's the right thing to do even though all I've done since leaving is think about my ex.

Sighing, I lift my glass to my lips and knock back the contents. The burn feels good. That kinda burn always feels good. Glancing around the room, there are a few women who've caught my eye, but none of them have given me that feeling. Butterflies. When your stomach flips at the sight of them. None of them have seemed remotely interested in me, either. That's okay, though. I'm not looking for a quick lay. I'm not looking for someone to take home for the night. I'm looking for someone who is ready to settle down.

I have a great job. An awesome condo. I mean, for the age of 32, I'm doing pretty well. Sure, the fact that my mom has helped me a lot plays a big part in it, but I've worked for what I have right now. I've worked my ass off and now I'm more than comfortable. Way more than comfortable. I just want someone to share that with. I just want someone who I can spend my time with, and someone I can spend my money on. I'm all about the gift giving and then expensive dinners. It's just who I am. I'm not cocky with my wealth, but I know good food when I taste it.

The bar filling up a little more, I silently pray that my future forever will walk in here tonight and give me the life I've always wanted. The life I want to give to her. She has to be out there somewhere. She's just got to be. Catching the bartenders attention, I hold up my glass and signal for another large white wine. Giving me a thumbs up, he moves about behind the bar and walks my way. "Thanks, Joe."

"Still nothing, Arizona?" He gives me a sad smile and I shake my head, a slight shrug of the shoulders following. "I am the best bar in town so if you are going to find a woman, you are going to find her here."

"Yeah, you keep saying this, but here I am…still sitting here."

"Patience, Arizona."

"Jeez, you sound like my mother." Giving him a smile, he throws me a wink and moves to the other end of the bar. The sound of the bell signaling the arrival of more customers, I don't even bother to turn around and check them out anymore. _What's the point?_

Sipping on my glass of white, I narrow my eyes a little and take in the beauty of the woman sitting over the other side of the bar. _Okay, she's hot!_ I'm not getting those butterflies just yet, but Jesus, she could make the coldest of hearts burst into flames. Her eyes finding mine, I drop my gaze and try to hold back the smirk on my face. _Yeah, super hot!_ My eyes closing as I can feel her own burning into my soul, the first image that comes to my head is her lying naked in my bed. I don't know why I'm suddenly so attracted to this woman, but I am. Like, if she dragged me out of this bar right now...I wouldn't hesitate to sleep with her. She has _that_ something about her.

I know New York holds many beautiful women, but this woman is the most beautiful I've ever seen. Her dark smokey eyes give her that intriguing look, and honestly, I can feel myself about to undress her with my own eyes. _Stop, Arizona._ I'm not here for a night of fun, I'm here to find something more. I'm here to find that woman who I can spend my life with.

Glancing back up, I've never been so disappointed in my entire life. _She's gone._ Sighing, and internally chastising myself for not going over to her, my shoulders slump and I decide to finish my drink and head home for the night. _Just my luck._ Turning on my stool, my purse in my hand, I'm met with those eyes. That body. This woman. "Hi." She smiles, her voice low and sultry.

"Hi."

"Headed off?" She asks.

"Um, yeah." I shrug. "Busy day tomorrow."

"Shame." She smiles as she sips on her neat whiskey. "I could have sworn you were disappointed to see me not in my seat."

"Mm, maybe."

"No maybe about it." _Okay, she's a little head on. I like it. It's hot._ "So, what kind of busy day are you in for?"

"Nothing you'd be interested in." I smile. "It was good to meet you, um…"

"Eliza." She holds out her hands and I take it in my own. "And you are?"

"Arizona," I state, my stomach flipping. There it is. That's the reaction I was looking for. I haven't felt that flutter in a long long time, and probably never that intense.

"Mm, interesting." Liking her lips, my eyes focus on her tongue and all thoughts in my head suddenly turn x rated. She's talking, but I'm not hearing any of what she is saying. Arousal pooling between my legs, I try to suppress the urge to kiss her, but I'm really struggling. "So, that's why I'm here."

"Awesome." I smile. "It was really good meeting you, but I should go." The sudden nervousness I have around this woman hitting me square in the chest, I stand and straighten myself out. Her low cut blouse doing everything to my body, I shake myself from my thoughts and step away. "B-Bye."

Leaving, I throw Joe a wave and head towards the entrance of the bar. I have to get away from her before I lose all control. I will drag her back to my place given half the chance. I will have her scream my name if I don't distance myself. Quickening my pace as I hit the sidewalk, I can still smell her. That intoxicating scent all around me. Stopped mid stride, I turn around and find Eliza gripping my wrist. "Where's the fire?" Her brow furrowed, I drop my gaze and she lifts my head, her fingers curled under my chin and setting me on fire. "Huh?"

"I-I can't, I mean…I have to go." Trying to remove her hand from my wrist, she only tightens it and steps even closer to me. Her breath washing over my face, her lips inch closer to my ear.

"Do I make you nervous, Arizona?" My name falling from her mouth in that low husky tone causes fresh arousal to flood through me. How can I possibly get away from this woman and how she is making me feel. I mean, I know I felt that connection, but she's pretty intense considering we've only just met. How do I know she isn't going to give me what I want and leave? She is certainly making me perceive her that way right now. "I'd like to get to know you a little better."

"Really?" I scoff. "Why? You don't even know me."

"Exactly." She smiles. "Any chance we could go somewhere a little quieter?"

"It's New York. We don't do quiet around here." I state. "Not on a Friday night, anyway."

"So…" She bites her lip. "Your place isn't quieter, no?"

"I guess so." I nod. "Did you want to come back for a drink?" _What the hell are you doing, Robbins!_

"Sure. Lead the way." I don't exactly know what the hell I'm doing, but this woman is intriguing. I know I'm only setting myself up to get hurt, but everything about her is screaming for me to take her home with me. I'm no stranger to one night stands, but that isn't what I'd planned for tonight. It's not what I wanted for myself. I hate that I've broken my promise to myself, but honestly, she is too hot to pass up on. Way too hot.

* * *

Stepping off the elevator, Eliza follows closely behind me. The fact I have a private landing has often meant sex before I've ever stepped through the door, but this woman makes me nervous. This woman makes me wonder what my life could become. I want nothing more than to rip off her clothes, but I can't. I can't because I don't know what her intentions are. I doubt she is here for my money because I don't show that I have money…but now that she knows where I live, and the fact that she probably knows how much these condo's go for, I'm not so sure. "Holy shit!" Her breath catching as I swipe my key card and allow us both access, I step inside but she doesn't move.

"Are you coming inside, or?"

"Y-Yes." She nods, her mouth hanging open. Moving further inside, she makes her way towards the floor to ceiling windows and simply shakes her head. "Well, you definitely have the most amazing view in the world."

"Yeah, it gets a little repetitive when you see it every day." I shrug. "Can I get you something to drink?"

"That would be great, thank you." Turning to face me, she steps a little closer and leans against my kitchen counter. "You said you have a busy day tomorrow." She's back to that sultry look and I narrow my eyes as I take in her absolute beauty. "What is it you do?"

"I doubt you would be interested, Eliza." I smile. "Why are you here?"

"I told you. I wanted to get to know you a little better."

"How old are you?"

"25." She smiles. "Does age matter or are you just trying to get to know me?" A smirk forming on her face, I can't help but be drawn to her. I know I shouldn't, but I just can't help myself. My eyes running up and down her body, she clears her throat. "Whilst I love the fact that you are checking me out, I get the impression that you don't like me."

"If I didn't like you, I wouldn't have you in my home." I raise an eyebrow and give her a knowing look. "I just don't know what you are about."

"I don't understand." She shakes her head and rounds the counter. Handing her a glass of wine, she gives me a thankful look and her fingers graze my own. Again, that feeling. "Why does there have to be something about me?"

"Eliza, you are younger than me, and you were pretty forward a little while ago. Forgive me if I think you have your reasons for being here."

"So, we can't spend the night together?" She asks and I'm a little taken back. "And see how it goes from there?"

"Whilst I think you are incredibly beautiful, I'm not looking for that. I'm not looking for someone who will be gone before sunrise."

"I don't wake before sunrise, so you won't have to worry about that with me." Yeah, that doesn't give me much comfort. I can see she isn't the kind to settle down and live a quiet and peaceful life. She's too young for that.

"Mm, something tells me I'm getting myself into trouble here." I smile as I distance myself and rest against the frame of one of the windows. Glancing out over Central Park, her heels hit my marble flooring as I sip on my wine.

"Well, why don't I show you what you are missing and then you can tell me if I'm going to be trouble?" Her breath washing over my ear, I shudder as her lips attach to the skin of my neck. Her soft hand dipping down the front of my thigh, it slowly disappears up my skirt and my legs almost buckle from beneath me. "Your call…" She breathes out and I swear I'm about to drop dead.

My hand placed flat against the window, I arch my back as she skims my center with the back of her hand and my eyes close. "Fuck…" My words giving her all the confirmation she needs, her fingers slip beneath the waistband of my panties and I know I cannot stop this. I don't know who this woman is, or why she came to the bar tonight, but she is in my home and she is about to rock my world. I know I'll be the one who is left hurt by this, but she is pulling me in closer, and I've never felt a touch quite like it in my life.

 _This is a bad move, Robbins. Abad bad move!_

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 **Thanks for reading. You guys let me know if you want this to continue. It's your call.**


	2. Chapter 2

**I own nothing. All characters/storylines belong to Shonda. I'm simply 'borrowing' them.**

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Chapter Two

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ELIZA'S POV

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Waking up to the New York skyline, I can't quite believe how my first few days in this amazing city have been. I knew it would hold everything I could ever have wanted, but this is kind of amazing right now. I'm in bed with some sort of multi millionaire, but I'm not here for her money or her status. I'm here because her eyes begged me for attention last night when I caught her staring from across the bar. I had no idea she would live in a place like this, but she does, and it just made the sex even hotter. I mean, at one point, she had me pinned against the window while she took me from behind. Not many people can say they've come harder than ever before whilst looking out over Central Park, but I can. I can, and it was fucking hot. She never once gave me the impression that she wanted me to leave at first light, in fact, she made a comment about how she doesn't like that. I know I barely know this woman I'm lay next to, but something about her tells me she is honest and trusting. Something tells me that she wants a relationship.

I won't lie, it wasn't ever my intention to get tied down so young, but for her…I could make an exception. She's hot. Dirty hot. And those eyes? Jesus Christ, those eyes kill me. It was all I could see last night when she was writhing beneath me. It was all I could see as she screamed my name and begged me for more. _She_ was all I could see. I don't think I've ever been so focused in the bedroom if I'm totally honest. I love some hot sex as much as the next person, but this wasn't just sex. This was something more. I don't quite know what, but I could certainly get used to it. I could get used to her. Her name. Her eyes. Her smile. Her scent. Just…everything. She's addictive.

My bladder screaming for relief, I quietly and slowly climb from her super kingsize bed and stretch out my body. I'm not sure I've ever ached from sex, but this morning…I am. This morning I'm feeling on top of the freaking world. Although, that could be the fact that we are 63 stories up. Who knows. Slipping off into the bathroom, I go about my business and quietly turn the taps. Washing my hands, I glance up into the huge mirror in front of me and gasp at the sight. Multiple bruises and love bites cover my neck, and even though I find it so hot that my center throbs, I have no idea how I'm supposed to get rid of them. I mean, I have to work on Monday, and it's my first day. I'm not sure how well that will go down with my new boss. I hear he's alright and can be fun to be around, but still… It doesn't give off a very good impression.

Shaking my head, a slight smile creeps onto my face and I bite my lip. Stepping out of the bathroom, I find the bed empty and suddenly I feel nervous. Last night, the arousal and want took over, but in the cold light of day, she may ask me to leave. I wouldn't be at all surprised. I mean, she says she's not looking for anything casual, but most people say that when they are looking for a little fun. Especially when said fun is standing in your home with her hands down your panties. I've met women like her before. I know how they like to be in control of the situation. I'm all for being controlled, but with Arizona, I'm not so sure.

"Good morning." I give her an awkward smile and move towards the bed, pulling a sheet up and over my body. "I, uh…sorry, I didn't mean to wake you."

"No?" She asks as she turns and puts on a pot of fresh coffee. "Planning to run out?"

"What? No. I needed to pee." I laugh. "Could um, could I grab some coffee before I leave? Would you mind?"

"Not at all." She shrugs. "It will be a few minutes if you can wait around."

"Sure." I nod. "I'll just get my crap together." I don't really want to leave, but I'm sure she is a busy woman, and I'm sure she has better things to do than hanging around here with me all morning.

"Okay."

 _Not the response I was hoping for…_ God, she makes me so fucking nervous. Moving back towards the bed, I grab my clothes from the floor and prepare to do the walk of shame through the city streets. _How embarrassing._ Headed off into the bathroom, I slip my dress back over my body and I feel a little pathetic. I mean, do people still actually leave places early in the morning with the clothes on from the night before? It's no surprise she isn't interested in me. She's older and sophisticated. You only have to look at her home to see how wealthy she is. Sure, she may not show it, or dress like it, but yeah…she must dine with the elite. It's a given, surely.

Making my way out of the bathroom and into the kitchen, a slight blush creeps up my face when Arizona discovers the bruises and bite marks she has left on my neck and shoulder blades. "Oh my god. I'm so sorry." Placing her hand over her mouth, her eyes widen but she doesn't say anything else.

"Hey, it's okay. Don't worry about it." Moving a little closer, I grab a cup of coffee and sweeten it. "I'll just finish this and then I'll be gone."

"Yeah, um…"

"Arizona, you don't have to say anything." I give her a genuine smile and she simply nods and moves away from me. I hate this awkwardness, but then again, I've never really hung around to discuss the night before. It's not how it usually goes. Knocking back the remainder of my coffee, I slip on my heels and grab my purse. Scribbling my number down on a post it, I leave it sat on her kitchen counter and move towards the door. "So, I had a great night. Maybe I'll see you around, yeah?"

"Sure." She smiles and settles down on her very expensive couch. "Bye."

Leaving her apartment, my shoulder slump a little and I feel some sort of loss immediately. I don't know why this woman has gotten to me, but she has. I hate how she's made me feel this morning, and honestly, I'm a little pissed that she didn't have much to say. Seems she was the one who would be trouble. Not me.

* * *

Slumping down on my couch, I grab my cell from the coffee table I recently purchased and glance at the screen. Nothing. I've been home for a few hours now and I hoped Arizona would have at least sent me a quick text. Even if it was just to tell me to leave her alone. I've thought about going back to the bar tonight, but honestly, I'll only be left disappointed. She won't be there again, and even if she was…she doesn't want anything more to do with me. I think she has made that perfectly clear.

I genuinely expected her to at least make conversion this morning, but she didn't. She didn't and I didn't know if I should hang around or not. She seemed so sure that last night would leave her hurt, but it's turned and now I'm the one sat here with thoughts of her running through my mind. Maybe I got off lightly. Maybe I left at the right time. I'd love to know more about her, and I'd love to spend more time with her, but she gives me the impression that it will never happen. I mean, why would it? I'm 25, and about to become an assistant. She's a multi millionaire, and very secretive about what she does. I looked up her condo block. Yeah, the cheapest in that place is almost $13,000, 000. Why the hell would she want me around?

I can be secretive if that's what she needs. I live a secretive life already so it would be no trouble for me. Problem is, I need to get more into her life in order for us to have a secret relationship. I need to get her attention. Her time. Hitting the message tab on my cell, I send off a message to a familiar number.

 ** _Hey! Missing you out here in the big apple. You good? Eliza x_**

 ** _God, I miss you, too. How's life treating you out there? Jo x_**

 ** _Good. I think. Had a few crazy nights but quiet other than that. Start Monday at my new office. Eliza x_**

 ** _Met anyone to keep you company yet? Jo x_**

 ** _I thought I may have. Seems I didn't. Eliza x_**

 ** _Tell me more…._**

 ** _Not much to tell. She's hot. Blonde. Very rich. Eliza x_**

 ** _You found a rich one? Awesome! Jo x_**

 ** _Mm, not why I went after her. There's just something about Arizona. I didn't know she had money. Eliza x_**

 ** _Wait! Hold up! You said blonde and her name is Arizona? Jo x_**

 ** _Good to see you are paying attention. Eliza x_**

My cell buzzing in my hand, I hit the accept button and soon my best friends voice is piercing through my apartment. "Oh my god, lize! You mean Arizona Robbins?"

"Uh, I don't know her last name. I don't imagine there are many women named Arizona, though, so yeah…that could be her."

"Google her!" My friend states. "Just Google her."

Grabbing my already open laptop, I hit the browser tab and type in the possible name of the woman I cannot get out of my thoughts. Her picture popping up, I gasp in surprise. "Holy shit! That's her, Jo."

"Check her out." Jo encourages.

"Okay, so…Arizona Robbins, 32, raised in Baltimore, made her money by the age of 28. Worth $320m…Jesus, Jo! $320m?"

"Mmhmm." My friend agrees. "She's been involved in some pretty major projects. I think she's amazing."

 _Projects?_ Scrolling further down the page, I finally find her job and it all makes sense now. _Architecture. Interior and exterior._ She does have an amazing condo, but I didn't expect her to have made her money that way. I don't know how I thought she made it, but architecture wasn't on the list.

"You still with me, Lize?"

"Y-Yeah." I sigh.

"She's done all kinds." Jo states. "I think her last project was something to do with Park Avenue. She did the whole thing. She's got some eye for detail, so she must have liked you if she took an interest."

"I slept with her." My words falling from my mouth quicker than I can process them, I shake my head and internally chastise myself. "Forget I even said that."

"Oh my god. You haven't wasted any time have you?" Jo laughs, but it's not like that. I didn't plan to meet anyone and even if I had, people like Arizona would have been last on my list.

"Jo, please keep this quiet."

"Who exactly am I going to tell? It's already weird that I'm into interior design and stuff so I'm not going to shout it for the world to hear."

"Thanks."

"So, when are you planning on seeing her again?"

"I'm not." I scoff. "I think she already thinks I went back to her place because of the morning, but I had no idea. I'd look stupid chasing her now that I _do_ know about her millions."

"She doesn't know that you know so why are you worried?" Jo asks. "She's pretty amazing, you know. When she isn't designing some of the most amazing and well-known buildings in the world, she uses her own personal money to help rebuild war torn and third world countries. I'm pretty sure she has just overseen a project personally funded by herself in West Africa."

"Wow. I knew there was something about her, but I didn't think it was that." I laugh. "Anyway, I don't think she is interested. She got what she wanted and this morning she wasn't all that interested in me."

"Just go for it."

"Well if she doesn't call me, there is nothing to go for, Jo."

"Okay, but you have to at least try." My friend tries to convince me but I'm not so sure.

"Oh please…like she would want to be around me. What have I ever done in my life that is as amazing as what she does? I'm a freaking assistant, Jo. She's like some modern day Mahatma Gandhi."

"She's pretty famous in her world. Overpowered the men a long time ago. She and her work are in all of the architecture magazines."

"So, she's famous?"

"Oh yes." My friend states. "She definitely is."

"Well, that already wouldn't work." I scoff. "You know it wouldn't."

"So, you are telling me that you are willing to throw what could potentially be away because of your own issues?"

"Yeah. I am." I agree. "Look, I have to go, but thanks for the heads up."

"Lize, just wait…"

"Bye, Jo!" Cutting her off, I throw my cell down at the other end of the couch and lay my head back. Well, this is a fucking mess.

* * *

I couldn't help myself. I'd sat in silence at home all day, and I decided that I couldn't do it. I couldn't stay away from her. Headed down the street, I check myself over in the reflection of a car and I'm kinda satisfied that I look okay. I mean, I'm not wearing designer stuff, but I can still throw an outfit together when I have to. Feeling a little less confident than I did last night, I come to stop outside the bar I met Arizona at last night and take a moment to really think this through. Deciding that it's now or never, I push the door open and step inside. I don't now whether it is because I know how wealthy she is now, but the clientele seems so much more high-end tonight. Business men in expensive tailored suits dotted about, and women in the newest Chanel range, I feel a little intimidated. Glancing around, those blue eyes and blonde hair immediately catch my attention. She is sitting with another woman, and right now…she looks a little cozy. Seems I missed my chance.

Deciding to grab a drink since I'm already here, I head over to the opposite side of the bar and train my eyes on everything but Arizona. I don't really feel like much conversation with her right now, so I'll slip off to an empty booth while she isn't looking. "Whiskey, straight," I call out to the bartender. Giving me a nod of the head, I tap my fingers against the hardwood my wrists are resting on and hope that this night goes quicker than I'd originally planned. My drink appearing before me, I thank him and hand him some cash. Moving away, I find Arizona watching me out of the corner of my eye but I keep moving. I already feel like an ass as it is, and I don't need her new piece hearing all about our night together. I'm not that kind of person, and I do like my private life to be kept private. Even if Arizona thinks differently.

Slipping into an empty booth a few away from the bar, I try to hold back the tears I feel threatening to fall. _Why the hell are you upset? It was a one night stand…she won't be the last._ Taking a large sip from my glass, I rest my head back against the leather interior and sigh. Sometimes I wonder why I bother. I don't know where I went wrong. Maybe it's just the age. Maybe I just don't fit into her lifestyle…I don't know.

What I do know, though, is that I shouldn't be here. I'm not made for this place. This isn't my scene. My kind of people. I'm poor compared to these people. They want the glitz, the bling. They want people who speak their language. Business meetings. Fancy dinners. That isn't me. Laughing to myself, I grab my cell and send Jo a quick message.

 ** _She may be good to the rest of the world, but she is already about to be in someone else's arms. Typical for me, huh? Eliza x_**

 ** _Hey, don't say that. Maybe it was never going to work out with you guys, but you will find happiness in NY, just you wait and see. Love ya, Lize x_**

 ** _Thanks. I think I'll finish up this drink and head home. Shitty day followed by a shitty night for me. Call you tomorrow. Love ya, too x_**

Slipping my cell back into my purse, I knock back my Whiskey and turn to head back towards the bar. Headed off to the bathroom, I find it a little too busy for my liking so I decide to just head home instead. Headed out, I'm stopped by a gorgeous body in front of me. "Why are you here?" Arizona questioning me sends my head into a spin and it freaks me out a little.

"What? Am I not good enough to be in here? Not classy enough for you and your multi millionaire friends?"

"That isn't what I meant." She furrows her brow.

"Sure it wasn't." I scoff. "Look, you fucked me and I fucked you. It was amazing. Probably the best I ever had…but that's where it ends. I get it, okay? Go fuck your new friend and I'll get out of your life."

Stepping around the blonde who has invaded my every thought I'm pretty mad. I mean, what does that even mean? She wasn't complaining about me being here last night when it suited her needs, so why does she care now? Why did she even come over to me…I don't understand. Stepping out onto the street, the cool night air hits my face and it feels amazing.

"Eliza, wait!"

"Fuck off, moneybags!" Flipping the finger over my shoulder, I head off down the street and try to desperately control my emotions. Arizona is nothing to me. She never will be. The sooner I get this new job underway the sooner I can forget she even exists. If it wasn't for Jo telling me exactly who myex lay was, I'd be none the wiser. If I can just go back to tomorrow day, none of this will have happened. No such look, though, huh?

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 **Thanks for reading, guys. Also, thanks for the response so this fic.**


	3. Chapter 3

**I own nothing. All characters/storylines belong to Shonda. I'm simply 'borrowing' them.**

* * *

Chapter Three

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ARIZONA'S POV

* * *

Wow, I feel like a complete bitch right now. I didn't mean to make Eliza feel like she didn't belong. I didn't mean to suggest that she shouldn't be at the bar. I just…I don't know what I wanted to say to her. I did wonder why she was there, though. I know I was a little cold this morning towards her, but I'm trying to read her and I'm clearly not doing a very good job. I enjoyed my night with her and probably more so than I have with anybody else, but I don't get why she would want to be with someone like me. Someone older. She has so much stuff to do at 25, and I'd only hold her back. Sure, I'm not _that_ much older, but I've done the partying and sleeping around…she is only just getting started. I'd never do that to someone younger than me. I'd never expect them to drop their future experiences for me because that's what I'd be doing…I'd be expecting them to stop partying. To stop trying out the scene. The gay scene. That's just how it would be. I want someone who is ready to lay in front of the fire with me for nights on end. I'm looking for someone who is willing to wait around for me while I work late.

I'm really mad at myself for how I acted this morning. I just have a lot on my mind. Between Eliza, and the two projects I had to okay and sign off of today, I just wasn't in the mood. Another reason why she shouldn't try to pursue this. What fun will I be when I come home in a mood? _Whoa, home? It's your home, Robbins. Not yours and Eliza's._ Getting a little ahead of myself, I slip off of the stool I've spent the past hour or so on. I'm just not feeling it right now, no matter how nice and interested Jana seems.

"You're going?" She asks.

"I am. I have a busy day tomorrow." _Fuck, that's what I said last night and look how it ended._ "I should really go."

"Well okay." Jana smiles. "Can I get your number?"

"I'm not sure that is a good idea." Giving her a sad smile she simply shrugs and leaves, taking her drink with her. Well, that was easier than I thought it would be. Grabbing my purse, I sigh and head out of the bar. I don't know why I've got Eliza in my head right now. I mean, it's not like anything will come of us. It just can't happen. I can think of a million people she would be better suited to. I just don't know why she was so pissed when she was here a little while ago.

Hitting the street, I make my way up to my condo and grab my card from my purse. Finding safely inside behind the heavy glass doors, I hit the elevator that will take me to my place. I could do with some serious sleep and a relaxing day tomorrow before I have to be at the office on Monday morning. I have a tonne of plans to get through, and even though the media make me out to be some sort of saint, it really isn't like that. What I do involves a shit storm of work and dedication. I couldn't do what I do without having the motivation for it. It really is anything but rainbows, sunshine, and copious amounts of dollars. It doesn't work that way. I spend most of my time on building sites with a hard hat on. It's _not_ glamour and it's _not_ appealing. I can assure everyone of that.

The elevator stopping on my private landing, I step off and swipe my key card. Forcing my way through the heavy door, I kick off my heels and throw my purse down. I've never been so mad at myself as I am right now but I feel like I need to speak to Eliza. Even if it is just to explain myself and behavior today. Hitting the screen of my cell, I hit her number into my contacts and save it for future reference. First, I send off a quick message.

 ** _Hey, it's Arizona. Could we talk?_**

 ** _Oh, I don't think there is anything to say…_**

 ** _Please? Could you come by?_**

 ** _So you can fuck me and ask me to leave? I don't think so. I'm not your call girl._**

Her words hitting me square in the chest, I slump down on a kitchen stool and take in her words. I'd be offended if I hadn't done anything wrong, but this whole situation is wrong. I feel terrible.

 ** _I'm hurt by that comment…._**

 ** _Yeah well, I'm pissed that I ever allowed you into my life. Leave me alone, Arizona._**

 ** _Is there really no chance we can talk this out?_**

 ** _No. There is nothing to talk about and I don't want to see you again. I realized you are nothing but a player when I saw you with that woman tonight. She looked good in her Chanel, by the way!_**

 ** _Nothing happened, but okay. I'm sorry I text. I'll leave you alone._**

 ** _Delete my number, Arizona._**

Deciding that there isn't any point in texting her back, I delete the message thread and hit the contact list. Hovering over her cell number, I hesitate but then I remember that she has specifically asked me to delete her number. So, I will. I'd never keep it if it wasn't what she wanted. It will only make me want to contact her more, and she has made it clear that she wants nothing to do with me. Hitting delete, I wipe Eliza from my memory and hope that the rest of this weekend goes as smoothly as my life usually is. I guess there is a reason I don't get involved with people anymore. It only brings heartbreak, even if it is my own doing.

* * *

Sunday was pretty great. I lay around doing nothing whatsoever, and it was just what I needed. I know I thought about Eliza more than once, and what she was doing, but I deleted her number and shredded the post it that she left me. She asked me to delete her, so I did. It's what she wanted, and probably what I needed. I have enough going on in my life right now without getting involved with anyone. I mean, I know I was out there looking for something with someone, but maybe this was the wake-up call that I needed. Maybe this was what I needed to show me that other people involved in my life are just a mistake. I wouldn't call Eliza a mistake, though. I enjoyed my night with her. More than I have with anyone else. It just...it couldn't possibly work. Nothing _ever_ works where I'm concerned.

Slipping on my blazer, I grab my travel cup filled with coffee and head towards the front door. I'd happily stay locked away for a few more days, but that isn't possible. I have so much to do and I have to get up to date with what is happening within my business. The sooner I get that under control, the sooner I can have it running smoothly and efficiently.

Headed down in the elevator, I slip my aviators on and make my way towards the main entrance of my block. Giving the doorman a smile, he gives me a small nod and my car appears at the sidewalk. "Have a wonderful day, Miss Robbins."

"Thank you, John." Handing him a $50 bill, he steps back and allows me to leave the block. It's a little miserable in terms of the weather today, but my driver usually keeps me happy. It's easier to have a driver around New York. When I was living in California it wasn't so bad, but the traffic here is a nightmare. Especially around Park Avenue. I wouldn't usually live in a place I designed and effectively built, but I fell in love with it the moment I drew up the plans. I knew it was going to be something special in that moment.

Climbing into the back of the car that is waiting for me, Richard gives me a knowing smile and pulls away from the sidewalk. Taking my cell from my purse, I'm surprised to find a message from a number I don't know, but I do recognize. Opening it, I'm a little blown away.

 ** _So, yeah! I know I told you to delete my number, but you got to me, Arizona. I don't know how, but you did. I don't want you to reply, and quite frankly, I don't ever want to hear from you again… But I do want you to know how you made me feel. It was amazing. The night I spent with you was simply amazing. Everything about it. I know you probably think that I went after you because of who you are, but that couldn't be further from the truth. That discovery came long after I'd slept with you. A mistake. Sleeping with you was a mistake. I know I'm not in your world, and I never will be, but you sucked me in and you made me want more of you. You made me feel appreciated and wanted like nobody ever has before. You just…you just made me feel like I wanted to feel. So I wish you well with your future projects, and I hope that you will have a wonderful love life with whoever you settle down with. I know that isn't me, and I'm okay with that. Take care of yourself. Eliza. Xx_**

My eyes a little watery, I glance up to find Richard looking at me through his rearview mirror. "Everything okay, Miss Robbins?"

"Thanks, Rich. Yeah, I'm okay." Giving him a fake smile, he simply nods and concentrates on the road ahead of him. "Would you like me to stop anywhere on the way into the office?"

"No, no." I smile. "Straight to the office will be fine, thank you."

Taking one or two shortcuts, I reach my office in record time. There's a reason I chose this guy as my driver, and he never lets me down. Stepping out of the car, I slip him a $100 bill and head towards the glass skyscraper I call work. Because that's all it is…work. I mean, I could quit right now and be set for life, but I love what I do. I love the uncertainty of each day. I love not knowing what project I'm going to be inspired by. It gives me the motivation to work each and every day.

Stepping inside, my heels hit the marble flooring of the foyer, and I reach the elevator without any interruptions. That doesn't happen often, so when it does…it's kinda like a celebration. Hitting the button that will shoot me up to the 37th floor, I sip on my coffee and hope that today will bring me some interesting stuff to work with.

Walking past my secretary, she stands and gives me a smile. "Miss Robbins, Miss Minnick should be with us shortly."

"Um, who?" I furrow my brow.

"Your new assistant." Lucie states. "The one we narrowed down like two months ago?"

"Oh, right." I nod. "I didn't know that was even still going ahead." Laughing, Lucie hands me the files I require for the day. "It will be good to have some of this work taken from my hands. She better be good, Lucie. If I remember right, you are the one who convinced me to take her on."

"Her resume is impeccable, Miss Robbins." She nods. "Miss Minnick is due within the next twenty minutes or so. I'll have her sent straight through so you ladies can get to work."

"Awesome." I smile. "Thanks, Lucie." Stepping into my office, I glance around at the paperwork I've been avoiding and honestly, it turns my stomach. I know it's mostly directed towards one project, but still…I can do without the headache of it all. Closing my office door behind me, I place my coffee cup down and take a seat behind my desk. The New York skyline behind me, I power up my computer and turn in my seat to take in the view. It's what keeps me sane most days, but today...I'm not sure anything can fix that.

Hearing a knock at my door, the frosted glass conceals whoever is behind it but I call for them to come on inside. Lucie appearing before me, I give her a smile and my glasses fall into place on my nose. Grabbing a few blueprints, I study them while she rambles away at my door. "So, she's here. Can I ask her to get you anything before you begin your day?"

"No, thank you. Just send her in." I nod. "I haven't decided which coffee I want yet, and honestly, I'm trying to lay off of the stuff."

"Well okay then. I'll be in my usual spot if you need anything, Miss Robbins."

"Thanks, Lucie." Watching my secretary disappear from the door, heels tell me that my new assistant is on her way in. Engrossed in the blueprints before me, I shouldn't be so ignorant, but something isn't right with them.

"Uh…" The sound of uncertainty pulling me from the paper in front of me, I glance up and my mouth drops.

"Eliza, how did you find me? What are you doing here?" My brow furrowed, she looks like a deer caught in headlights. "Eliza?"

"I think I'm at the wrong place…" Stepping back a little, her back connects with the doorframe and I give her a sad smile.

"Where are you supposed to be?"

"Assisting a Mr. Marc's." She mumbles.

"Yeah, that's me. My alias." I shrug. "I don't expect you to stay, though. It's fine if you wish to leave." Going back to the work on my desk, she makes no attempt to move. "Um, so you're staying?"

"I need this. It's the reason I came to New York." She stammers. "I'm so sorry."

"It's fine." I wave her comment off and motion towards the ready desk to the side of the room. "That will be where your work happens. I'll be with you in a little while to discuss plans and who I need you to contact, okay?"

"Sure. I'll be here whenever you are ready." She nods.

"Great." _Holy shit!_ Now that the fact Eliza is here has finally sunk in, I don't know what I'm supposed to do. I mean, she wouldn't have known she was coming to work for me because of my alias, but still…I didn't expect her to walk through my office door this morning. I'm not sure I'm preparer for her being here if I'm totally honest. Had I known she was going to be my new assistant, I'd never have slept with her. Never.

* * *

Thirty minutes later, I'm finished checking over the blueprints I had on my desk waiting for me. Eliza has sat silently, and I feel awful. She at least deserves an explanation, but she has made it perfectly clear that she doesn't want to talk about it. I can understand that, and that's exactly why I've kept quiet.

"Okay, um…" Standing, I push my skirt down my thighs a little and move towards Eliza. "If you could give barker a call…just hit 5, tell him that this blueprint for 459 Greenwich isn't acceptable. Drain covers need to be moved and there is a clear issue with fire safety. He will get a little arsey, but just put him through to me. Hit key 3 to direct him to me."

"Okay, sure." She smiles. Placing the paperwork down on her desk, I lean over her right shoulder and explain the issues with the diagram.

"It just won't work," I state. "It's completely wrong. I don't know if he was having a drunk weekend, which he probably was, but no…this won't do."

"Did you get my message…" Her words rushed out, the feeling of her hand covering mine shocks me back into the room. "The one I sent this morning?"

"I did." Quickly removing my hand from her desk, she sighs and pulls away.

"Okay, it doesn't matter. I'll get onto this right away." Her smile fake, I'm not sure we can do this. I'm not sure we can work together and act like nothing has happened.

"Eliza…" I breathe out. The scent of her shampoo completely overpowering me. "I'm sorry."

"Me too." She glances over her shoulder and smiles. "Me too."

"No, I mean it." I sigh. "You asked me not to contact you, and I respected that, but really…I was desperate to speak to you."

"I'm sure you weren't." She smiles. "You don't have to be nice to me just because I work for you. I'm not going to sell our story. You're safe, okay?"

"That's not what I meant." Placing my hand on her shoulder, she turns to face me and her eyes tell me she is hurt. "I didn't mean to hurt you, and I certainly didn't mean to make you think that you weren't good enough for me."

"Then what did you want me to think?" Standing, she kicks her chair away and leans back against her desk.

"I just...I'm not good for you, Eliza. I should never have taken you home with me."

"You regret it, don't you?" She scoffs. "Maybe this was a bad idea. I need a job, but I don't need it that bad."

"No, I don't regret what happened between us. Not at all." Shaking my head, she furrows her brow but doesn't say anything. "You were amazing, and honestly, I'd repeat that night time and time again given half the chance, it's just…"

"It's just what?" She sighs and drops her gaze.

"This isn't the life you want. I'm not who you want. Even the age gap could cause problems. Why would you want to settle down? We both know you were in that bar for a little fun." Moving a little closer, I come to rest between her legs and run my thumb across her bottom lip. "You weren't looking for a relationship, and that is exactly what I'm looking for."

Leaning into my touch, her eyes close. "How do you know what I'm looking for?"

"Eliza, I'm not what you want. Or who you want…" Pushing herself off of her desk, she steps a little closer to me and I swallow hard. I've never felt this way around another woman. They've all been quick fixes or fast lays, but Eliza? She's got something totally different about her. For every step she takes forward, I take one back. My body finally connecting with the wall beside the door, she presses her body against my own and shifts her hand to the left of me and locks my office door. "Please, don't do this…"

"If you really want me to stop, unlock that door now and I'll stop." Her lips millimeters from my own, my head is spinning and my heart is pounding in my ears. "Go on, unlock it…" Her lips grazing my own, I'm lost in my own little world right now. A world where Eliza is at home waiting for me and nothing else matters. Unable to move, she slips a leg between my own and lifts it a little as her lips press against my own. "Thought as much." Grabbing me by the lapels of my blazer, she pulls me back into the center of the room and my stomach flips. She is what I want. I've known it since I first laid eyes on her. She is _everything_ I want in my life. Everything I _need_ in my life.

Turning us, I guide her back towards my desk and her ass comes to rest against the edge of it. "Are you sure this is what you want?"

"It's all I've thought about, Arizona."

Pulling her body in close, my lips find her own and I'm in too deep right now. All I can taste is her. All I can smell is her. She is who I need right now. My fingers ghosting up her thigh as my tongue works against her own, she pulls me in against her and uses her free hand to graze my material covered nipple. "Shit…" I breathe out.

"I want you, Arizona." Mumbling against my lips, I grind down against her thigh and a slight smirk forms on her face. "Please just let me have you…" No more words needed, my fingers slip underneath her skirt and move towards exactly where I know she needs them. Her center on fire, it only draws me in closer. "Fuck, yes." Her lips everywhere, my fingers hook around the waistband of her panties and her ass lifts from the desk a little. Slipping them down her thighs, they hit the floor and I push her skirt further up. Silky smooth legs wrapped around my waist, she pulls me back in and kisses me with everything she has. _Her lips._ God, her lips are amazing. So soft and full. I could kiss her forever. Groaning as my fingers meet molten arousal, I take her bottom lip between my teeth and she hisses in desperation. "Please, Arizona."

Pulling back, I search her face for anything that will tell me that this shouldn't happen but I find nothing. She wants this. She wants it just as much as me. Pulling her ass closer to the edge of my desk, I slip two fingers deep inside of her and the moan that rips from her throat is enough to make me come harder than ever before. This woman on my desk is all kinds of hot, but there is more to her than that. I can see it in those beautiful green eyes. "Fuck, you feel so good around me." Pulling her in by the back of her neck, my lips work the skin of her jawline before they hover around her ear. "So wet." Her body pulling my fingers deeper inside, she lifts her legs and her heels dig into my desk. She may be young, but she knows what she wants. I can take her better from this position and she knows that. She knows I can make her feel amazing like this.

My thumb brushing against her clit, her body writhes and her walls tighten around my fingers. "Let go, Eliza." Smiling as she pulls my body against her, she shakes and convulses against me. Her orgasm ripping through her entire being.

"Fuck, Arizona. Yes. Don't stop. Ugh, don't stop." Curling my fingers and hitting that spot, her grip around my body tightens and all breath leaves her body. "Shitttt." Slowing my pace, my thumb sends shockwave after shockwave through her body. "Mm.." Whimpering as I pull out of her, her legs from their position and her body slumps against my desk. "T-That was, oh fuck that was so good."

"You are more than good enough, Eliza." Brushing back her hair from her face, she drops her gaze and a slight blush creeps up her face. "Hey, look at me."

"Arizona, this is so far from what I know…" She sighs. "I just…I don't know how I'm supposed to be."

"Yourself, Eliza. Just be yourself." Bending down, I grab her panties and hand them back to her. Smirking, I lift her chin a little and raise an eyebrow. "Maybe next time you could leave these at home?" Causing another blush to creep onto her face, I shake my head and laugh. Now she is shy? Oh, I don't think so. "Can I see you tonight?"

"Why?" She asks, her brow furrowed.

"Why not…"

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Seems you are loving this one so far…so thanks.**


	4. Chapter 4

**I own nothing. All characters/storylines belong to Shonda. I'm simply 'borrowing' them.**

* * *

Chapter Four

* * *

ELIZA'S POV

* * *

I went by Arizona's place on Monday night. I was a little wary at first because I couldn't for the life of me figure out why she wanted me there…but upon arrival, it was pretty obvious. She wanted my body, not me. She wanted her personal toy to come by so she could feel good. I'm all for making a woman feel good, but I want conversation too. I want to get to know her a little better instead of just jumping her bones and leaving. Because that's all I did. Fucked her until she couldn't take anymore and fell asleep in her expensive bed, in her expensive apartment…whilst dreaming about her expensive life. Then I quietly left. Maybe I should just have a contract drawn up and she can pay me. That's all I seem to be to her. All I am is someone she sees as being able to take care of her needs without the commitment. I don't understand, though. She says she is looking for a relationship, but she isn't giving me anything. She isn't showing me that she wants that me with her. Maybe she doesn't see me as relationship material, I don't know.

My problem is that I'm drawn to her. Anyone else I'd just walk away, but I can't with Arizona. First, I am employed by her so it's hard to just ignore her and get on with my life. Second, I simply don't want to ignore her. If I have to be what she needs, then I will. If that is just casual sex, a fuck buddy…then I guess that's what I'll have to be. I don't like it, but she is too addictive to not be around.

Reaching the elevator, I step inside and hit the button that will take me to the woman I can't stop thinking about. Both positive and negative thoughts. It's been three days since I saw her, and I don't know how our encounter is about to go. Not only was she out of town, she had her secretary call me to make me aware of the situation. I mean, surely she could have picked up her cell and told me herself. Surely I'm not that irrelevant in her life.

The ding signalling my arrival, I take a breath and make my way down the corridor. I'm trying to be confident and nonchalant about this, but it's hard. It's hard to know how my boss is feeling. It's hard to allow this to just continue. Reaching her office, Lucie gives me an awkward smile and calls me over. "Good luck in there."

"Why?" I ask. My brow furrowed.

"She's in a foul mood. It doesn't happen often, but when it does…wow." Holding up her hands between us, she shakes her head and goes back to her work. "Just…do as she asks and you should be okay. If she's abrupt with you, don't take it personally. We've all had it this morning and she's only been here twenty minutes."

"Thanks, Lucie." I give her a smile and approach Arizona's door.

"Hey, Eliza…" Turning back I give her a raised eyebrow. "You, um…you wanna grab a drink later?"

"Sure. That would be awesome." I agree. "Right, I'm going in." Heading inside, I can feel the tension in the room. I can feel that uncertainty hovering over us and honestly, I'm not entirely sure it has anything to do with the morning Arizona is having. She hasn't even looked up to acknowledge me and I'm stood in her doorway.

"Do I only employ fucking Assholes, James? Seriously? I mean…what planet are you all on down there? Do I have to come down and do the work myself? Do I have to come down and fire every fucking one of you? Because I can. I can come down right now and pack your shit up for you!" Her face filled with anger, I decide to just take a seat at my own desk and check over what's been left for me. "Yeah well you have an hour, James. ONE HOUR to fix this mess and then I'm kicking the lot of you out of my business." Slamming down the phone, I glance up and Arizona simply rubs her temples before pinching the bridge of her nose. I want to ask if she is okay, but I don't think that's the best thing to do right now. I'm not sure it's even a good idea to breathe right now.

Powering up my computer, I sit patiently as it boots up and pray that I don't get on the wrong side of her today. Checking over the blueprint, I can see the issue Arizona is having so I decide to take it upon myself to call down to James and give him a heads up. Lifting the handset, I press 7 and wait for a familiar voice. "Hey, James. Yeah, I'm here. No, no. Don't worry. Um, do you have the design in front of you?" I hear him rummaging around his desk before he confirms he has the design. "Okay, check out uh…D7 and D9. Yeah, you've got that? Okay, the dimensions are wrong. If you measure C8 you will find the overlap."

"YOU SEE THAT JAMES?" Arizona screams from the other side of the room. "EVEN MY FUCKING KID ASSISTANT CAN DO A BETTER JOB THAN YOU! ASSHOLES, ALL OF YOU!"

"No, James. Everything is fine here." My voice lowered, I can hear the concern in his voice. "Yeah, you have a good day too. No problem. See ya!"

Placing the handset down, I log into my user account and don't even acknowledge the fact that Arizona is in the room with me. How fucking rude can one person be? I mean, seriously? I'm not doing this. We are no longer anything other than boss and employee. I'm done.

"You left on Monday night." Her voice a little calmer, I glance over and find her eyeing me over the top of her black thick rimmed glasses.

"No shit, Sherlock." I scoff and turn back to focus on the work I have to get done. "I have a lot to get through so I'd appreciate it if you allowed me to get on with it."

"Excuse me?" She drops her pen. "Who exactly are you talking to because I know it's not me."

"Uh...I was." I shrug.

"So you always speak to your boss like that?" She asks, her voice a little cold now that she has realised I'm not just going to give into her.

"Oh, now you're my boss?" I laugh, my eyes still fixed firmly on the screen in front of me. "Now I'm your employee?"

"I don't even know what that is supposed to mean." She spits. "You know what, you can leave if you want to. Nobody is making you stay."

"See that's the thing, Arizona. I do want to be here. I want to help you get this place straight and do what you ask of me, but you are making it really fucking hard to do so!"

"How am I making it hard?" She asks, completely ignorant to her behaviour.

"You know what...it doesn't matter." Shaking my head and sighing, I'm so angry with her.

"But it does matter. You clearly have something that you need to get off of your mind, and I'm not working with you like this." Standing, she rounds her desk and I roll my eyes. "Come over tonight and we can talk."

"No," I state. "I'm busy, and I don't think we have anything to talk about."

"I don't understand. You just…you left."

"And isn't it a good thing I did, huh? You know, since I'm just your fucking kid assistant." Standing, I hold up my hands before she comes any closer to me. "Since I fixed the mess they've created downstairs, I'm going to go check that it's all okay before you have some sort of aneurysm."

* * *

Forty minutes later I find myself back on Arizona's floor and feeling a little calmer than I did before I left her office. I didn't even get any thanks for fixing her problem. Instead, I was insulted and then spoken down to. Maybe this isn't the job for me. I want nothing more than to see this through, but I'm not sure it's worth it. I don't think it's worth the back and forth from her. Reaching Lucie, she gives me a smile and I know it's a sympathetic one. I'm pretty sure the entire floor heard Arizona and her outburst earlier.

"Hey, you okay?"

"I am." I smile. "I think all is well with the world again so I'm hoping she's calmed down a little."

"Yeah, she came out a little while ago and apologised for her attitude this morning so I'm guessing you'll get the same treatment when you get back inside."

"Well, guess I should find out, huh? What time did you want to grab a drink later?" I ask. "And where?"

"Say 8? Does that work for you?"

"8 sounds perfect. Late start tomorrow so yeah…let's do that." I smile. "You have my number on the system so just text me with the arrangements, okay? I don't know what time I'll get out of here but it won't be that late. No way."

"Awesome." Turning the handle to Arizona's office, I step back inside and her eyes shoot up to find my own. "Everything is running smoothly downstairs." Settling back into my seat, she removes herself from her own and gives me a sad smile.

"I'm sorry about before. I just…I'm having a bad day." Clearing her throat, she rests against the edge of my desk.

"That's okay. It's expected." I smile and open up a document on the screen in front of me. "I'll just get back to this stuff and get it finished before I head home."

"You're not a kid." She sighs.

"No, I'm not, but I am too young for you, so yeah…I get it." I give her a nod in agreement but she furrows her brow. "Arizona, you don't have to do this. You don't have to explain yourself."

"I feel like I have to, though." She gives me a pleading look but I'm not backing down. "I was just angry with James and I shouldn't have dragged you into it."

"But that's what I'm here for. I'm here to be the go between. Isn't that what an assistant does?"

"Yeah, but you didn't deserve that."

"Arizona, it's my job. It's not personal so really, you don't have to explain." A knock at the door pulling us from our conversation, Arizona stands and makes herself look a little more professional.

"Yes?"

"Oh, Miss Robbins, I'm headed out to pick up the samples you requested on Tuesday." Lucie steps into the room and gives our boss a smile. "I should be back within a few hours. Craig is covering the phones."

"No problem. Any issues, call me, okay?"

"Of course. Eliza, if I don't see you before you leave, I'll be in touch about tonight. See ya!"

"Awesome. Bye, Lucie." Watching the secretary leave, Arizona furrows her brow and glances down at me. I can see the wheels in her head turning, but I'm past caring. I really am.

"Y-You, uh…" Pointing her finger between me and the door, she releases a slight laugh. "You two?"

"Us two, what?" I ask.

"You're busy with _her_ tonight?" The jealously in her voice evident, I turn in my seat and meet her gaze.

"I am. Is that a problem?"

"Well, I guess not." She shrugs. "Figured you could have come by for dinner, but those plans you have seem pretty concrete."

"Yeah, they are." I nod. "And it's probably not a good idea to come to your place anymore. I think personal and professional should be kept separate from now on. I'm sure you agree…"

"If that's what you want, okay." Moving back towards her desk, she slumps down in her seat and a slight pout forms on her face. I'd say I felt sorry for her, but I actually don't. Her 'kid' comment came from somewhere, so I guess it's the right thing to do. She is free to do as she pleases, and so am I. I'll be forgotten about by the end of the night anyway, and some other blonde or brunette will be in her bed with her. Someone else can give her what she needs because I'm done.

* * *

Settled into a booth at a local bar, Lucie joins me with our drinks and slides in beside me. It's good to finally get out and meet people. People who are more like me. Lucie is awesome and she seems like a really nice person, so I'm happy to be sat here with her tonight. Let's just say that she seems…normal and normal is definitely something I could use in my life right now.

"How are you finding the office?" She asks.

"Honestly, it's not what I expected. I mean, I was under the impression I was going to be working for a guy so I was very surprised to see Arizona sitting behind the desk. What's with the alias?"

"Arizona pays well. When I say well, I mean over the top well. She will get around to discussing your role with you and what she will expect from you, and then she will get to the figures. Let's just say that the past three years, I've been vacationing in the Caribbean. And not in some mediocre complex. No, the very best. The people there have yachts and private planes. So, she uses an alias because of the demand for jobs. She likes to go through her potential staff with me and narrow it down based on their resume. You didn't know who you were going to be working for, so you didn't feel the need to over exaggerate your experience and what not."

"Wow." I breathe out. "I mean, I know she has money, but that kind of salary? Why does she do that?"

"She believes that if it wasn't for the people like us, she wouldn't be where she is now. She says nobody makes it to the top without an amazing team."

"That's kinda awesome." I smile.

"You should see her place. It's amazing." _Oh, I have seen her place. More than once._ "She designed the entire building."

"Wow, maybe I'll Google it." I shrug.

"Oh, she will have you in her condo in no time. You'll get your chance soon enough."

"Why? Does she always take people back to her place or something?" Laughing, I feign my worry.

"No. Not like that." Lucie defends. "Even though I totally would if she asked." Throwing me a wink, I give her an awkward smile and she continues. "You are her assistant so she will probably call you at three in the morning when she has a new idea and demands your attention. It's happened to me before and I'm only her secretary." _Mm…she already demands my attention._

"Okay." I nod. "Guess my time will come then, huh?"

"Definitely." Lucie agrees. "So, I'm glad you agreed to drinks tonight."

"Me too." I smile as I bring my glass up to my lips. "I could use the company."

"Yeah?" Lucie asks. "So, are you single?"

"Uh, yes… I am."

"I know this may be a little forward of me, but I was wondering if maybe I could take you out to dinner sometime?" _Wow, she's kinda sweet._ "If you would be up for it?"

"You know, I think I'd like that." I can't help the smile that appears on my face.

"Great. Maybe this could be some kind of pre date?" She smirks.

"Oh, I don't know." I narrow my eyes and a slight blush creeps onto Lucie's face. "It depends on what your pre dates involve."

"Nothing too invasive. Just some good company and maybe a kiss at the end of the night…"

"Sounds like this could definitely be a pre date, then." Bringing my glass to my lips, I sip slowly and find her pretty blue eyes. She is hot in a quirky kinda way. Like, she comes across as very proper but I get the impression that she is anything but. "Maybe we should get this pre date going, huh? More drinks?"

"Sure...that would be grea-" Cut off by the sound of Lucie's cell buzzing against the table, she glances down and gives me a sad smile. "Sorry, just give me one minute."

"Miss Robbins, is everything okay?" I roll my eyes and watch Lucie's face. "Sure, yes. I'll get over there right away. No, no problem." She sighs. "No, I was just out on a date but you need me so I'll call you when I get to the office. Yes, okay. Bye."

"I'm so sorry, but I have to go."

"Really?" I groan.

"Yeah, um…maybe we could do this another time?" Scribbling my address down on a napkin, I hand it over and Lucie furrows her brow. "What's this for?"

"Maybe you could just come by my place when you have been to the office. I'll open a bottle of wine and we can get to know each other a little better?"

"That sounds perfect." She smiles. Leaning in, she brings her hand up to my cheek and gives me a sad smile. Her lips finding my own, they're soft and it's a nice change from the neediness of Arizona's kisses. "I'll see you in a little while then."

Watching her leave the bar, I'm so pissed at Arizona. I know she has called Lucie because she is aware of our plans. I know she has done this to piss me off. Shame she won't get to. There is no way she is going to act like a spoilt child and get inside my head. She's made it clear what she wants from me, but that's not how I want it to be. I don't want to wait around for a call to go over to her place. I don't want to be hanging around for her to make up her mind about us. It's easier this way. So much easier.

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Your reviews have been awesome.**


	5. Chapter 5

**I own nothing. All characters/storylines belong to Shonda. I'm simply 'borrowing' them.**

* * *

Chapter Five

* * *

ARIZONA'S POV

* * *

I did something really bad last night, and I suspect Eliza knows it. She hasn't been in touch with me, but I know she is mad. Pissed. Probably furious. Why can't I just leave her alone to get on with her life? Why can't I just get on with my own? I had no right to cut her date short. Honestly, I thought by Monday afternoon we were getting somewhere. I didn't know she was my new assistant, and I never expected her to show up at my office, but after it got a little hot…I thought we could work through things. I asked her to come to my place on Monday evening, and I was surprised when she said yes. I never ever meant for her to think that she wasn't good enough for me. Yes, I have a lot of money and it probably is a little intimidating to most people, but my money doesn't define who I am. My money doesn't make me feel powerful or better than anyone else. It's why I try to give it away at any given moment. It's just…it's not who I am.

The plan on Monday was to order some dinner in and get to know Eliza a little better. I had every intention of telling her that I really liked her. I know we barely know each other, and I know I've messed this up way too much to get back to that place, but there's something about her that just draws me in. That's why I called Lucie away from their date last night. That's something I've never done before, and honestly, I felt a little embarrassed and disappointed after I'd called her. I'd thought about calling her back and canceling the job I asked of her, but my staff already think I'm crazy since yesterday's outburst in the office. Instead, I sat in silence and tried to make some sort of sense about all of this. Eliza clearly doesn't want me to pursue her. She was already out on a date with another woman, and to me…that speaks volumes.

I'm not going to the office today. I've decided to work from home instead. I just need to be away from the stress of that place and try to get my head together. Eliza will be heading into the office within the next thirty minutes, and even though I'm not planning to go in myself, I still need her to work for me. The problem is, I need her at my place to do that work. Grabbing my cell from the coffee table, I move toward the window and take in the view I am blessed with. Yeah, I tried to play it down the night I met Eliza, but there's a reason why I picked this particular condo, and the view is the entire reason why.

 ** _Don't go into the office today._**

 ** _Okay. Am I not needed? Eliza._**

 ** _You are, just not at the office._**

 ** _Then where? Maybe you could just get to the point so I can be on my way. Eliza._**

Yeah, she's pissed at me. She's going to be even more pissed when she finds out that she will be spending her working hours at my place today. I'm not trying to get her here to trap her. I'm not trying to make her listen to me. She's here to work and I won't bring up anything about us whatsoever. She isn't my business and how she lives her life has nothing to do with me.

 ** _My place. The sooner you get here, the sooner we can get started and you can get home._**

 ** _I'm not coming to your place. Eliza._**

 ** _Then you no longer have a job. I need an assistant who can be where I need them to be when I need them to be._**

 ** _Fine. On my way._**

The camera security system on my wall alerting me to someone arriving on my floor, I wait for the elevator doors to open and allow them access. "Hey, Rich."

"Miss Robbins." He nods. "The products you requested. I collected them personally."

"You're too good to me." I smile. "Julia doing okay? And the boys?"

"Yes, thank you, ma'am." Handing over the bags, I place them down on the floor to the side of the door and take some cash from a nearby table.

"Awesome." Handing over a few hundred, his eyes widen and I wave away whatever he is about to say. "Take the day off, Rich. Spend it with the kids. I hear the new grill down the street is good…maybe check it out."

"Miss Robbins, I couldn't possibly." Shaking his head, he tries to hand back the cash.

"Please? As bad as it sounds…I have no use for you today, Rich. You should spend it with your family."

"Thank you." Tipping his hat to me, I throw him a wink and he hits the elevator button. Closing the door, I grab the bags he has brought me and move towards the huge conference table I have in front of a different set of windows. I don't often work from home, but when I do, I have to have everything I need. Everything I would usually have at the office.

A few minutes later, I find myself checking myself over in the mirror. I've dressed anything but professionally today, but that's the one good thing about working from home. I can take five when I need to, and I can dress how I wish to. I don't know why I'm checking my look today, it's pointless. I could be standing in my birthday suit and Eliza would probably still give me a look of complete disgust. I've made her that way towards me, and honestly, I hate how I've behaved. I'm not a jealous person. I have never been. Seems she has brought that out in me, though. Seems she has brought out all kinds of emotions and behaviors since we met.

Once again being alerted to a presence at my door, I sigh and straighten myself out. Comfortable jeans and barefoot, I head to the door and zip up my hoodie. My tee underneath leaves very little to the imagination since I don't wear a bra at home, and I don't want Eliza to think that I'm trying to entice her in any way. The door swinging open, she keeps her eyes fixed firmly on the floor and I step aside for her to enter.

Watching her back as she moves further inside my condo, my heart breaks at the sight of her body language. _You are the biggest bitch in New York right now, Robbins._ "Thanks for coming." Trying to break the silence, she places her purse on the kitchen counter and turns to face me.

"Where do you want me?" She asks a little cold. "On the bed? On the window seat? Here?" Motioning towards the counter she is almost leaning against, I drop my gaze and try to keep my composure. "We haven't tried out the bathroom yet, or the library."

"Eliza…" I breathe out. My voice breaking. "I'm working from home today and you said you needed this job. That's why I've called you."

"Sure." She scoffs.

"The stuff on the conference table is yours. It will take you a while to set up, so would you like a coffee while you do so? Water? Anything…"

Glancing back, she furrows her brow and moves towards the numerous bags sitting on top of the oak table. "What's this?" She turns back to face me. "Now you're trying to buy me?"

"W-What?" My mouth drops open and I can't quite believe what I'm hearing. "Is that really what you think of me?"

"Honestly? I don't know what I think anymore." She shakes her head and begins removing the products from the bags. "I don't need a new cell, or a MacBook, or an iPad. I don't need a watch, and I don't need _you._ "

"Wow." I nod. "Okay."

"So, tell me the truth." She spits. "Do you really need me here or are you worried you will one day walk into your office to find me fucking Lucie on your desk? Are you worried about not being there and the inability to control me?"

"I-I…" Tears falling from my eyes, I try to blink them back but it's no good. I'm so hurt by the thoughts she is giving me right now and I want the floor to open up and swallow me whole. "T-That's not why I asked you here."

"Really? Because that's how it looks to me."

"Okay." I give her a genuine smile. "You can leave. I don't want you to be here if it's not what you want, so I'll work alone today and I'll find someone else to assist me from Monday."

"So, now you're firing me?" She laughs. "This is just fucking great." Grabbing her purse, she moves towards me and I grip her wrist.

"No, I'm not firing you." Her skin against my own sending me crazy, I distance myself a little and she pulls away from me. "I'm letting you go, Eliza. It's clear that you hate me, and I only have myself to blame, but I can't do this anymore. I can't be around you when you have someone else in your life. I'm happy that you've found someone, and I'm happy that you are settling here in New York, but I just can't."

"And I was happy to have you in my life but you just don't give me anything. You make me feel like some fucking whore when you call me here and then you fall asleep without a fucking word."

"I didn't know you felt that way." I sigh.

"Well, now you do." Her hand on the door, she opens it and steps onto my private landing.

"I'm not trying to buy you and I'm not trying to control you. I didn't expect you to be gone on Monday when I woke, but you were so I figured that was just how you wanted it to be. I'm sorry I've hurt you, and I'm sorry I've created a shitty time for you since being here, but I can never get us to a good place. I understand that."

The door closing, the tears fall freely and I step back a little before slumping down to the couch behind me. I don't know why she makes me feel this way, and I know she doesn't feel the same, so I have to let her go. I don't want to, but I have to. I'm not good for her, and knowing that she feels how she does about me only makes it hurt even more. It was never my intention to make her feel like a hooker. She is so much more than anything she has just accused me of thinking.

But now she has gone, and now she can truly get on with her life. She's beautiful so she won't be on the market for long anyway.

* * *

Today has been awful. Truly awful. Knowing that Eliza is out there somewhere enjoying her evening and probably hating me has been playing on my mind for a few hours now, and I've done very little work today. It's only bits and pieces that I was working on anyway but it's still work that needs doing.

Browsing the Internet, I figured a little retail therapy would do me the world of good. I don't know what I'm looking for, but I'll find something. Scrolling through the site, I find the most amazing dress staring back at me. _Jesus, she would look amazing in that._ I'm not really one for wearing dresses, but I know how good Eliza looks in them. _Stop! She doesn't belong to you._ Hitting the close window tab, I shake my head and sit back in my seat. I'm beyond bored now and I've had to power off my personal cell. If I didn't, the bottle of wine I've drunk would have made me call Eliza. I took a bath earlier and it calmed me a little, but now I'm sat here in my robe and actually thinking about hitting the town. That's what a broken heart and wine will do to a girl.

It's my usual pattern, to be honest. Get hurt…go out on the town…bring someone back to help me forget. It's a common occurrence with me. I'm trying to not do that, though. I don't want to sleep with someone else to forget Eliza. I never want to forget her. I want to remember every little detail I know, which isn't a lot. It's enough to keep me entertained, though. For a little while at least.

My business cell buzzing beside me, I hit the accept button and music plays out in the background of the call. "Hello?"

"I hate how you've made me feel." Eliza's drunken voice piercing through the speaker, I close my eyes and try to keep my emotions in check. "I hate everything about us. Everything."

"I know, and I understand."

"But you don't." She cries. "You don't because while I hate how we are, I can't get you off of my mind. While I hate the thought of ever seeing you again, I miss you."

"Eliza, don't do this." I sigh. "Just forget about me and move on with your life."

"Don't tell me what to do, Arizona. Just stop fucking doing that."

"O…kay."

"I need to see you. Please, can I just keep my job? I won't even date anyone else, I just need to keep my job. I need to keep you in my life someway and if that is with you being my boss, then that is fine."

"Date people, Eliza."

"No, because I need this job." She whimpers and sniffles down the phone. "Please?"

"Maybe we should discuss this when neither of us has been drinking." I hope my answer is sufficient enough for her, but something tells me it's not. "Are you still there?" The line going dead, I curse under my breath and throw my cell down to the floor.

Standing, I begin pacing the length of the living room and try to figure this all out in my head. I don't know if I can work with her as just her boss, but I don't want to ruin anything she may have going with anybody else. I'd never try to crush any of her relationships. She says she misses me, but that doesn't mean she wants to be with me. I think that option has long gone.

My security system bleeping, I move closer to the monitor and find the one woman I'm struggling to be around standing outside the elevator. She doesn't know I can see her, and from what I can see, she is undecided as to whether she should even knock. Deciding to make that decision for her, I unlock the door and find her mouth agape as she realizes I've seen her. "I-I…"

"You what, Eliza?"

"I needed to see you." She sighs as she pulls at her fingers. "I had to see you."

"I don't think it's a good idea right now." Blocking any access to my condo, she breaks down in front of me and I instantly feel terrible. "Hey, please don't cry."

"Please let me in. I'm not a bad person." She cries. "I just need to be around you for a little while."

"Come on." Placing an arm around her shoulder, I bring her inside and she cries into my chest. "Eliza, talk to me."

"I don't even know what to say." She whimpers. "I just thought you wanted a casual thing. I didn't know you liked me so much. I thought it was just one sided."

"Oh, beautiful." I lift her chin and her eyes find mine. "That couldn't be further from the truth."

"Please don't call me that…"

"I'm sorry." I sigh. The true me is beginning to come out, and I'm worried that Eliza will run if I give her everything. I love with everything I have if I'm given half the chance, but she is already emotional, and drunk. I don't want her to regret being here tomorrow, so I'll hold back. If I'm ever lucky enough to tell her how I truly feel, then great…but if I never get that chance, I'll always keep those thoughts in my head…and my heart.

"Can I sit for a moment? I won't stay long…"

"You can stay as long as you need to. I don't want you to leave while you are like this." Moving towards the couch, she takes a seat and I slump down beside her. "Are you okay?" _Stupid question, I know, but it's all I have right now._

"Honestly, no." She sighs. "I'm sorry I said all of those awful things to you this morning. I was just so mad at you."

"Don't apologize. I deserved it."

"No." She turns to face me and gives me a sad smile. "You didn't deserve _any_ of what I said."

"I never meant to make you feel that way, Eliza. I know there is no chance of us ever being anything after this week, but you have to believe that I didn't just use you for sex."

"I know. I should have just talked to you." She shrugs. "You just…you are so addictive, Arizona, and you are my boss and I just couldn't read you so I thought the worst. And now I feel pathetic and stupid and I kissed Lucie and I hate that I did that." My jealousy trying to break out at her admission, I clear my throat and remain calm. "She's lovely and actually the type I'd usually go for, but she's not you. She came to my place last night and we kissed but I just…I couldn't go any further with her."

"I don't even know what to say to that," I admit. "You are dating her, right?"

"Yeah, supposed to be."

"Then you really shouldn't be here…" I breathe out. "I don't want to get in the way of your new relationship."

"But I can end it…whatever hasn't even started yet, I can end it."

"No." I smile. "You said it yourself, Eliza. She is the type of person you would go for."

"So?" Her brow furrowed, she gives me a look of confusion. "It's you I want to be with, Arizona. It's you I want to spend my time with."

"Yeah?" My smile growing wider, she gives me a nod. "I'm so sorry you thought I didn't want you. Or at least, only when it suited me." Placing my hand over her own, she doesn't pull away and it settles me a little. "Can I tell you something?"

"Sure…" She breathes out.

"Monday when you came over? I planned on ordering dinner in and just relaxing with you, maybe even a little talking. Then you walked in looking amazing, and I just couldn't keep my hands off of you. I know I have to control myself, and from this moment on…that behavior stops, but when I lay in your arms, everything just felt perfect. You said I didn't use my words, but I didn't have any words for it. I was just so happy in that moment and I guess tiredness just took over. I didn't expect you to be gone when I woke, and I didn't understand what I'd done wrong. I didn't understand why you had left. Then I had to go out of town and I figured you were mad at me for some unknown reason, so I didn't call you. I wanted to give you space and allow you to come to me in your own time. So, that on Monday wasn't what you thought it was. It was never me just getting what I wanted. I was just happy and I guess I should have told you that. I'm sorry. And that stuff I gave you today? That was effectively your mobile office."

"Now I feel like a complete ass." She drops her gaze. "I don't deserve you. Your words have just proved that."

"Hey…" I dip my head to meet her gaze. "Don't say that. I want you here, okay?"

"Okay." She gives me a slight smile but I'm not sure she isn't convinced.

"Can I kiss you?" I ask, a little unsure of where the line is.

"Please…" She breathes out. My lips ghosting across her own, she fists her hand in the front of my robe and I feel her body relax against me. Pulling me further against her, she shifts her right leg and pulls me down, her own back now down and flat on the couch. "God, you are like a drug." She whispers against my lips. "One I could never live without."

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. I'm totally shocked by your response, so thanks.**


	6. Chapter 6

**I own nothing. All characters/storylines belong to Shonda. I'm simply 'borrowing' them.**

* * *

Chapter Six

* * *

ELIZA'S POV

* * *

I know Arizona has just told me that the crazy behavior where sex is concerned has stopped, but I don't want that. So long as I know she wants me for me, and not just what I can give her…I'll always want her against me. Beneath me. On top of me. Behind me. "Eliza…" Pulling me from my very dirty thoughts, she lifts her head and studies my face. "We should stop." She gives me a sad smile and tries to climb off of me.

"Please don't." A slight pleading in my voice, I stop her from moving and she furrows her brow.

"Eliza, I don't want you to think that this is the only reason I want you here. Look where that has gotten us so far…" Allowing her to climb off of me, I feel a loss of contact immediately and she recognizes the look on my face. "Hey, don't dare to that." She raises her eyebrow and pulls me up to my feet. "Don't even think about leaving…"

"How are we doing this then?" I ask.

"How do you want to do it?" Arizona counters.

"I don't know. I've never really done the whole relationship thing before. Not with somebody like you, anyway."

"Someone like me?" She furrows her brow.

"Someone who I really care about. Someone who already means a lot to me."

"Okay…" She smiles. "Can I ask something then?"

"Of course." I shrug. "Ask away."

"Will you stay with me tonight? And not run out in the morning…unless you have somewhere to be, that is?"

"I'd love to, Arizona." Taking her hands in my own, I lace our fingers together. "Just…don't stop all of _that_ between us, please. I know I was horrible to you earlier, but I should have just brought it up and none of this would have happened."

"Okay." Guiding me through the kitchen, she grabs a controller and hits a button. The fire flaring and lighting in the huge fireplace, I give her a raised eyebrow and she shrugs. "What?"

"You _so_ bought this place to get the ladies…" I laugh and she hits another button...causing electronic window shades to darken the room and block out the lights of New York City. "Yep, for sure."

"Just one lady." She wraps her arms around my waist and soft music begins to play throughout her amazing home. "I did buy this place with the idea of a relationship in mind, I just never thought it would happen."

"You did?" I give her a genuine smile and she simply nods. "You must have had some serious relationships before me, right?"

"Just one." She states. "But I've dated a lot."

"Oh, really? Why doesn't that surprise me?" I smirk. "Any hotties?"

"Again, just one…"

"Hmm, so I've got something to contend with, huh?" Placing a kiss on Arizona's lips, she smiles and pulls back.

"If you want to contend with yourself…go ahead. Knock yourself out." The music fading out, another track begins, and it's just as amazing and soothing as the first. "Eliza, are you sure you are ready for a relationship with me?"

"Uh, yeah." I smile. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"And you still want to be my assistant?"

"Well, yeah. I need a job regardless of whether we are together or not, and I already have it, so?"

"It will get a little full on at times, and I'll need you separate the fact that we are together, but if you can handle that and you can do that…I'd love to keep you in my office."

"Oh, I'll bet you would." My hands slipping from her lower back to her ass, she rolls her eyes playfully and I bite down on my bottom lip. "You know, you look like you are getting kinda warm in this robe." Dipping my fingers beneath the hem, they ghost up the back of her very naked and very soft thigh, and those amazing blue eyes darken. "How about I help you out with that?"

My body being pulled towards the bed, Arizona walks us backward and the lighting in the room only turns me on even more. This place is amazing, but it would nothing without her in it. "Spend the weekend with me, Eliza…" Her knees hitting the edge of the bed, I force her body down and climb on top of her. My fingers finding the belt of her robe, I tug at it gently and it opens to expose her delicious body. _I've never seen anything quite like it in my life._ "Please?"

"I'd love nothing more…"

* * *

Waking to the sound of complete silence, I can't help the smile that is already on my face. Glancing to my right, Arizona is laying flat out on her stomach, the crisp white sheet barely covering her ass. Her body is an absolute master piece and I find myself wanting to have my hands on it whenever possible. Last night was amazing. After the way I'd felt when I arrived here, I was fully expecting hot and needy sex, but what I got was the complete opposite. The softest hands roaming my body, her entire mind was on me and only me. Nothing else in the world mattered. All of my fears about us had disappeared the second that robe slipped from her body. Everything just seemed as it should be. Everything.

Her bare back shining as the morning sun peeks through the specially made shades hanging from her windows, I simply take in her beauty. I mean, she's gorgeous. Like, drop dead gorgeous, but that isn't the only thing about her. She cares. I know I've not given her anything to suggest that I believe that, but I can see it in her eyes. I could see it in her eyes yesterday morning when I came by. I just chose not to acknowledge it. I chose to hurt her instead. Am I mad at myself for acting that way? Yes, of course, I am. That's not the kind of person I was raised to be. Bitterness and anger were never drilled into me as a child. Well, I guess in some ways it was, but I chose to ignore it. I chose to be the bigger person and love everyone for who they are. That's how I believe it should be, but that is another story.

My fingertips running up the imprint of her spine, they gently caress her beautiful soft skin, and she stirs a little. I don't want to wake her. She's had a rough couple of days because of me and while she is sleeping, she doesn't have to think about it. I know we cleared the air last night. Well, more than cleared the air, but that doesn't mean she won't be a little apprehensive when she wakes. While she is sleeping, I don't have to worry about her questions. I don't have to worry about her fears for the future. I have my own fears, but right now, I have to make the best of what we have, and when the time comes…I'll decide what is best for me. For us. I don't want Arizona to be hurt by me, but my life is a mess back home. My true home.

Thankfully, she hasn't questioned anything about my past, and I hope she never does. I know down the line things will get tough, but I'm not about to ruin what we have going because I'm worried about our future. I'm not about to lay it all bare because I'm scared about where we are going. Arizona seems to be a pretty private person where her personal life is concerned, and I hope I'm right. I hope none of this will ever blow up in my face. I fully expect it to, but for now…everything is okay.

My fingers working back down her spine, goosebumps follow and it makes me smile. _I wonder what she is dreaming about right now. Is she thinking about me?_ Maybe she's not, I don't know, but I'm in her bed and I'm not going anywhere. She's asked me to be here and to stay the night, and I'm fully prepared to lie here until she wakes up beside me. _Maybe I'll give her my own wake-up call._ I know she loves the way I make her feel. She's told me on more than one occasion, but I'm not sure how she feels about being woken up before 9 am on a Saturday morning.

My fingertips finally reaching the curve of her ass, I can't help but caress the skin there and it forces her hips down into the bed beneath her. _Okay, that's hot!_ Tracing every impression, my fingers come to graze the back of her thigh and she mumbles against the pillow her face is buried in. "Wake up, gorgeous." My lips grazing her ear, her head turns and she cracks one eye open.

"Mm, mornin'." Those adorable dimples popping, I think I've just fallen head over heels for this woman. I've never seen beauty like it, and honestly…I'm not sure I ever will again. "You wore me out so you have to make coffee this morning…"

"Oh, is that so?" I raise an eyebrow as my head drops a little and I place a kiss on her shoulder blade. "How about I just make you forget about coffee and we sleep until midday?"

"Sounds _amazing._ " She licks her lips and shakes her head. "But there is no way I'm moving from this position." My hand dipping down and between her thighs, she's wet. _Ugh! This is going to be an awesome morning._

"Oh, I don't need you to move from _any_ position." Shifting, my body comes to rest over her back and she lifts her ass to meet my core. "Mm, someone is eager for a wake-up call."

"Eliza…" She groans into her pillow. "T-That, oh god…"

"Mm?" My tongue running along her shoulder, it travels up her neck and I gently bite down on her earlobe. "I think I'm going to need you on your knees."

"Ugh, I swear you make me crazy." My body sliding off of her own, she lifts her ass in the air and rests up on her knees. Her head still buried in her pillow. Licking my lips, I groan in anticipation at her scent. Her taste. Her sex. _God, she's hot!_ "Eliza, I need you." Wiggling her ass, my right-hand runs up her right thigh and she feels the bed dip behind her. "Oh God…" Her breathing a little labored, I could spend forever looking at her like this. My fingers running through her soaked folds from behind, her knees shake a little but she just about manages to compose herself.

"Jesus, Arizona. You're dripping." Removing my fingers, I take them between my lips and she glances back over her shoulder. "And the best I've ever tasted."

"So, fuck me, Eliza, and make me the best you've ever had." Her words sending my head into a spin, I grind against her ass before slipping my hand back to where she is desperately wanting it. Two fingers sinking into her, she slams back against my hand and I'm not sure I've ever experienced anyone quite like her. She's hot but she's dirty hot when she wants to be. I can only imagine how it's going to be once we are more acquainted. I can only imagine how good she is going to fuck me once we know what we like. Once we know how good it feels to completely give ourselves to each other. "Yes, right there." Her voice low and sexy, I'm amazed that I'm even here. Arizona lives a totally different lifestyle to me but I'm here making her feel amazing. I'm here fucking her like there is no tomorrow. Clearly, I'm doing something right. "Yes, harder." Slamming into her, her ass meets my every movement and a flood of arousal gathers between my own legs. Slippy a third finger inside, she moans as I fill her and her walls throb around me. "Oh God, fuck…I-I."

"Feel good, huh?" Pushing her closer to the edge, my left hand grips her waist and I force her back against my hand.

"Best I've ever had." Her breath catching in her throat as she weaves her own hand between her body and rubs vigorously at her clit, I bite down on my bottom lip as she comes undone in front of me. "Eliza, fuck." Not letting up, I continue to pound into her until she begs me to stop. She begged me for more last night and now I'm going to make her beg me to stop. She loves control, I know she does. Whether she is controlling the situation, or whether she is the victim of said control, she loves it. She feeds off of it. "Shit." My fingers suddenly removed from her body, I lie flat on my back and shift until my head is between her legs. "Oh God, yes." Sitting up right, she traps my head between her thighs and rocks back and forth against my mouth. "Fuck me with your tongue, Eliza." _Oh, gladly._

Pinching at her nipples, Arizona rides my face and it's the hottest thing in the world. "Mm…" The vibration of the moan I release flowing through her core, fresh arousal coats my mouth and works its way towards my chin.

"S-So close." She pants as she grinds down against my mouth. "Fuck, YES! O-Oh, O-" Her orgasm ripping through her, she shudders and the vice like grip on my head only tightness. Falling forward onto her hands, Arizona tries to control her breathing. "Jesus Christ." Climbing off of my face, she slumps down beside me on the bed and places her hand on her forehead. "Wow."

"Good morning, beautiful." Leaning over and placing a kiss on her lips, she moans and smiles against them.

"It is when you wake me up like that…" Her dimples appearing, she's gone from being hot to cute in less than a second. "God, you've worn me out."

"That was my plan." I laugh as I climb from the bed and wrap a sheet around me. "Can I get you some coffee?"

"That would be amazing." Hitting a button to the side of the bed, the window shades lift and I'm met with the most amazing view.

"Wow!"

"Pretty awesome, right?" Sitting up, she rests her back against the headboard and I fix us up some coffee. My cell buzzing on the kitchen counter, I hit the accept button.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Eliza. It's Lucie." _Shit!_ "Did you want to do something today? Figured I could show you around this wonderful city."

"Oh, I'm sorry. I have plans." Cringing at the fact that I'm struggling to let this woman down, I glance over at Arizona and she is eying me intently.

"Maybe tonight then?" Lucie asks, a little hopefulness in her voice. "Let me take you to dinner…"

"That would also have to be a no. I'm so sorry, Lucie."

"Hey, no problem. Some other time, yeah?"

"I-I, uh…I'm kinda involved and just…well, it's complicated." I sigh. _It's not, but I don't know what else to say to this sweet woman._ "Friends, though, huh?"

"Sure." The disappointment in her voice evident, she sighs. "I'll see you at the office Monday."

"You definitely will." The line dying out, I grab our coffee cups and head back towards Arizona who is still watching me from her bed. "Can we drink this in bed?" I ask.

"Uh…why wouldn't we?" She furrows her brow.

"Expensive sheets." I shrug as I hand over her coffee and slip back into the bed with her, the sheet falling from my body. "So, do I get to experience a day in the life of Arizona Robbins today?"

"Sure." She nods. "Did you take care of your problem on your cell?"

"Well, she's not a problem, but yeah…" I smile. "She was okay about it."

"Right." Arizona glances out of the window and I'm assuming that's the end of that conversation.

"So, what exactly do you do during your weekends off?" I ask. I won't lie, I'm a little excited to see how Arizona lives, but I just hope she doesn't invite me to some expensive dinner. I don't have that kind of money and I certainly don't have the appropriate attire for the kind of restaurants she is likely to frequent.

"Honestly?" She raises an eyebrow. "This."

"Which?" I give her a look of confusion.

"This. Lounging around. Watching the world go by." Sighing, she has a weird sort of smirk on her face. "You thought I was out shopping and driving amazing cars, didn't you?"

"Honestly…yes." I laugh. "But this would be perfect."

"You're disappointed, aren't you? I mean, if you want me to take you shopping and do the expensive kind of things, I can do that…I just like to keep to myself on weekends."

"I don't want you to take me shopping, Arizona. I'm perfectly capable of buying my own things."

"Whoa, that's not what I meant." Sitting up, she turns to face me and gives me a sad smile. "I just…that's not me. Don't get me wrong, I love me some online shopping, but the world just doesn't exist when I'm at home and in my own little bubble. I do go out to dinner and vacation, but weekends are my own and people know not to disturb me."

"I get that." I smile. "So, the plan for the weekend is to just kick back here?"

"It is." She nods. "Maybe some fine food will be thrown in, too."

"Fine food?" I give her an awkward smile. "Like, expensive places?"

"One thing you have to know about me, Eliza, is that I love my food. But, I will only eat the good stuff. When we go out to dinner, it will be at the best places New York has to offer."

"O-Okay." _Yeah, operation avoid dinner is about to begin._ I'm pretty sure I have like $500 in my account, and something tells me that isn't even going to touch the sides.

"Now, did you want an actual tour of this place? I mean, if you are going to be spending a lot of time here, I want you to be comfortable and know where to find everything. You may be here alone at times if I'm working out of town."

"I guess so." I can always just hang out at my own place, but I do really want the grand tour. I just know there is everything you could ever imagine in this condo, and I want to see all of it. Every last inch of this place.

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Again, an awesome response to the previous chapter. Thank you.**


	7. Chapter 7

**I own nothing. All characters/storylines belong to Shonda. I'm simply 'borrowing' them.**

* * *

Chapter Seven

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ARIZONA'S POV

* * *

My weekend was amazing. Awesome. Unreal. Spending it with Eliza wasn't on the agenda, and this morning I find myself checking if it really did happen. Pinching myself, going back over everything that has happened. My aching body confirms that she has spent the weekend at my place, and the fact that I have a smile on my face on a Monday morning is a little weird. It's been so long since I've someone next to me and just holding me. It's been so long since I've been the one holding, too. Don't get me wrong, I've had my fair share of dates over the past eighteen months since splitting with my ex, but none of them have compared to Eliza. None of them have given me that sense of belonging. That idea that my future could be pretty awesome providing I don't mess it up.

Stepping into the office, I feel a little lonely since Eliza left early this morning to grab some clean clothes. She has spent the weekend in mine, and I loved that. I loved watching her lounge around in my robe. My tees. More than anything, though, I loved watching her lounge around in nothing whatsoever. That is without a doubt her best look. I'd thought about telling her that more than once, but she has already made multiple comments about how I made her feel, so I figured it would be best to keep that to myself for a little while longer. Thanking Rich, I hand over his usual tip and slide out of my car. I'd offered the car to Eliza to get her home this morning, but she insisted on walking. Something about needing to feel the cool morning air on her skin.

There was the odd occasion last night when we were just relaxing when she seemed to be on another planet, but I didn't think it was my place to ask. I know she probably still has doubts about us, but I'm hoping to be able to crush them one by one. I'm all in where she is concerned. I knew it from the moment I let her go. I knew it from the moment I woke up on Monday night and she was gone.

Whatever she had on her mind, she seemed a little distant. Like, not even in the room with me. I know she is struggling with the whole millionaire status, but it really doesn't mean anything. I'm the same person I was before I was successful. I'm the same person I was when I was in high school, and university, and living at home with my parents. I'm just me. I'm really not all that interesting when you get to know me. At least, I don't think I am.

I know Eliza doesn't want to be seen to be with me because of my wealth, but I understand. I'm just struggling a little with the idea of not splashing out on her. I want to buy her gifts and make her feel good. I want to take us out to dinner and enjoy the finer things in life. I don't often have anyone to do that with, but with her…I'd shop all day long. Realising I forgot to do something a little while ago, I hit my speed dial and Rich answers before it's barely had time to ring out. "Miss Robbins, is everything okay?"

"Yeah, thanks. Could you have my car brought to the front tonight around 7:30, please? It's in the lock up."

"No problem. Anything else, give me a call."

"Thank you." Ending the call, I slip my cell into my back pocket and make my way inside the glass building in front of me. I've gone a little more casual today because I'm feeling pretty comfortable after the weekend I've had. Form fitting jeans and black heels, with a black blouse that may or may not have been chosen for a certain someone's eyes.

Smirking as I'm reminded of the past 24 hours, I reach the elevator and step inside. Checking for any messages, I'm a little disappointed to find none on the screen of my cell. I was hoping Eliza may have been in touch since I'm running a little later than usual, but nope…nothing. Maybe she was running late herself. The bell signaling my arrival, I step out onto the corridor and make my way down to where I know the most beautiful woman in the world should be waiting.

Her infectious laugh pulling me from my own thoughts, I glance up to find Eliza talking with Lucie. _Um, why is she laughing with her?_ I know I shouldn't be mad or jealous, after all, I have just had her rock my world all weekend, but the green eyed monster seems to be making an appearance and I don't know what to do. "Ladies…" Moving straight past Eliza and Lucie, I head off inside my office and close the door behind me. If I'm not around the two of them, I cannot be jealous. Eliza is simply talking to my secretary. It's no big deal. _So, why do I feel like it is?_

Rounding my desk, I drop my heavy bag containing numerous documents to the floor and slump down in my seat. Powering up my computer, I glance out of the window and try to gauge the weather for the rest of the day. I have plans for this evening, and there is nothing I hate more than rain. The sky seems pretty clear right now, but knowing my luck, that will all change. _Who am I kidding? I'm not interested in the freaking weather._ Hitting the speaker on my office phone, I hit one and wait for the call to connect. "Miss Robbins, how can I help you?"

"If Miss Minnick has finished gossiping, could you send her on in here and finally some work can begin?"

"Right sorry."

My door opening, Eliza steps inside and I disconnect the call with Lucie. Taking a seat at her desk, she turns to face me and gives me one of her best smiles. "Good morning."

"Everything okay out there?" Tilting my head towards the door, she gives me a nod and powers up her computer.

"Sure. Everything is great." Narrowing my eyes, she gives me a raised eyebrow and laughs. "Oh, come on…you're not jealous?"

"Me? No." I shake my head. "What is there to be jealous about? I mean, you're only talking to the woman you were about to happily date."

"Arizona…"

"I mean, the fact you kissed her doesn't mean anything at all." I drop my gaze and make myself look busy on my cell phone. "Nothing at all to be jealous of, right?"

"Right." She agrees, a little sarcastically. "Do you want me to go and get your coffee now that you have gotten that off of your chest?" She gives me a sly smirk but I'm not in the mood for games like this.

"Actually, I do." I sit up in my seat and slip my glasses onto my face. "We have a lot to get through here today, including your contract, so yeah…coffee would be good. Lucie knows what I like." Giving her a smile, she clears her throat as she discovers I'm now in business mode.

"Oh okay." Pulling her skirt down her thighs a little, I glance over the rim of my glasses and thankfully she doesn't notice. Squeezing my own thighs together, I close my eyes and take my bottom lip between my teeth. _Come on, Arizona. You have work to do, and so does she._ "I won't be too long."

"See ya!" I may be acting nonchalant about everything right now, but I'm trying not to be the needy and jealous person. Everyone has one, and I've had it on more than one occasion so no, I don't want to be that overbearing type.

* * *

Thirty minutes later, Eliza returns with two coffees and two muffins. Setting what belongs to me down on my desk, she gives me a slight smile and returns to her own desk. "I got you blueberry because well, who doesn't like blueberry?"

"Thank you." Giving her a genuine smile, I stand from my seat and stretch out my aching body. Rubbing at my temples, she furrows her brow and turns to face me.

"You not feeling too good?"

"No, just a slight headache. I'll be okay once I have some coffee in my system." Moving towards the small meeting table in the middle of my office, I motion for her to join me and she grabs does. Settling down in her seat, I pull out a stack of papers and she glances up at me. "Don't worry, you aren't going to be signing your life away."

"You sure about that?" She laughs. "I mean, that's some paperwork, Arizona."

"It is, but I just want to make sure you get the best out of this job. My staff matter to me."

"Mm, I've heard." She gives me a million dollar smile but I'm totally lost. "Nothing, never mind." She waves off my questioning look and I shake my head before returning to the task at hand.

"There is really one two things I need your signature on. The rest you can read over whenever you feel like. There's nothing in there to trick you into anything or whatever, so check this page out…" Handing her the entire job role, she takes it from my hands and gives me a slight nod. "And this one is just your salary and a breakdown of expenses I provide. You'll see it all for yourself, anyway." Another nod from Eliza and I sit back whilst taking in the scent of the amazing coffee she has just brought me.

Her eyes taking in every word in front of her, she gives me the odd 'mmhmm' in agreement to what she is seeing and then she turns her attention to the next page. "FUCK ME!"

"Uh, is that a request, or?" Furrowing my brow, Eliza sits staring in disbelief and I'm once again lost. "Eliza?"

"Arizona…" She breathes out. "I just need to ask you one question."

"Is something not right? What aren't you happy with?" Trying to fix whatever problem she has before she leaves her job, I take the page including what will be expected of her and glance over it. "What is it?" I ask.

"Are we just a casual thing? Like, is it just sex and a job?" Dropping her gaze, her words hit me square in the chest. Once again, I'm offended. Hurt. Disappointed.

"I can't believe you've just asked me that…again. I thought we had cleared this up? I didn't spend the weekend with you for nothing, Eliza."

"Then what the hell is this salary?" She asks. "I mean, I know they told me that you pay well, but this? Is this some indirect way of paying me for sleeping with you? This can't be an average salary around here."

"Wow." My heart dropping into my stomach, I thought we were past this. I genuinely did. "Maybe you should go and speak to the rest of my staff and see how they are paid." I know it's a lot, and I know it may be a little too much, but I'm known to pay my staff well. "Actually…" Moving towards the door, I open it and call for Lucie to come into my office.

"Is everything okay, Miss Robbins?"

"If you wouldn't mind things getting a little personal, could you tell Miss Minnick your salary?" She shrugs and gives me a nod.

"Sure, um…I think it's around $225,000 a year? Give or take…"

"And when you were covering as my assistant?"

"Oh, it was $250,000 contracted but you found someone before the year was up. Thanks again for paying me the entire year, but I don't understand what this is about."

Eliza's eyes widening, she realizes that she is in the wrong but I think she may be too shocked to speak. "There you have it. _That_ is the salary I pay." Slamming my hand down on the desk in front of me, both women flinch. "So, no." I laugh. "I'm not indirectly paying you to _fuck_ me."

"I-I, uh…I think I'm no longer needed here." Her back hitting the door, Lucie stumbles out and my office door closes.

"I have somewhere I need to be, so you can finish for the day." Grabbing my purse, I reach for my cell and hit my drivers speed dial. "Cancel my request for tonight please, Rich. It's no longer needed."

"Yes, Ma'am." Ending the call, I stop in front of Eliza and she glances up at me.

"I'm sorry." Shaking her head, she drops her gaze again and I don't even have any words for her right now. I'm so mad at her for what she insinuated and I'm mad at myself for blurting out our private business in front of my secretary. "Arizona…"

"You know, those plans I've just canceled? It was a date. I was going to take you on a date tonight. I just...I can't do this anymore, Eliza. I can't do this back and forth. It's just too much drama for me."

"Please don't go…"

"I have to." I sigh. "I can't be around you right now."

"How can I fix this?" She stands and takes my hand in her own. "Please let me fix this…"

"You can't." I smile. "This is a constant theme with you, and it's always going to be that way. Tonight I was prepared to try and just be me and take you out on a date, but honestly…I don't want to now." Tugging my hand out of her own, I blink back a few tears. "You know if you take the money, the business, the status? If you take it and remove it from behind my name, I'm just me. Even with those things, I'm _still_ just me. Maybe you _are_ too young for me. Maybe you do need to see what else is out there for you, because honestly…I'm not the one for you."

"Please don't say that."

"I'm not, Eliza." I can't help but laugh. "You need someone with an average 9-5 job. You need someone who cleans their own place and struggles at the end of the month. That isn't me. You know, I'm really fucking sorry that I worked my ass off from the age of Eighteen, but that's just who I am. I was raised to make the best for myself, so I did. You can't deal with that, so no, I'm not doing this. I'm not sitting her and going over the same things time and time again because you believe I only want one thing from you."

Sidestepping the woman I've just spent the best weekend of my life with, I shake my head in disappointment and leave my office. All eyes on me as I walk through the mass of desks, I stop in the middle of the room and glance around. "And if anyone else thinks I've employed them so I can screw them…you can leave, too."

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. I can't quite believe how well this fic has taken off. Expect more angst and drama. It's the point of the fic after all.**


	8. Chapter 8

**I own nothing. All characters/storylines belong to Shonda. I'm simply 'borrowing' them.**

* * *

Chapter Eight

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ELIZA'S POV

* * *

Oh God. What have I done? I don't know what the hell my problem is but I'm getting really fucking good at pushing Arizona away. I fear this time, though, I may have pushed her away for good. I never meant to react in that way when I saw the contract. I just…I've never made that kind of money before. Yes, Lucie told me that Arizona pays well, but that well? No. Surely nobody pays _that_ well. That's like, I don't even know what crap I could buy with that. I don't even know what it would look like sitting in my account. Then the expenses. I mean, those are optional but it's the fact they're even an option that I can't quite get my head around. I know I'm the closest to Arizona in terms of staff, and sometimes, I'd have to be a clone of her where possible, but still… $250,000? No, I could never accept that kind of salary. I don't care how much money she has.

Grabbing my purse and shoving my cell into it, I try to straighten myself out as best as I can but right now I look a mess. I look like I don't belong here right now. I _know_ I don't belong here right now. Leaving Arizona's office, Lucie catches my attention and pulls me back inside. "You and her?" She asks, a slight grimace on her face.

"What about it?" I ask.

"You guys are together?"

"Well, not anymore." I scoff. "I have to go. I shouldn't even be here. I should never have been here." Shaking my head, I side step Lucie but she stops me. "Lucie, don't."

"Come on." She nudges my arm. "Let's get out of here for a few hours. Arizona is gone for the day and I'll have someone cover for me."

"I think I just want to go back to my place an-"

"Nope. Wrong answer." She shakes her head. "Let's grab a drink. You look like you could use a friend right now."

"Yeah, and I'm pretty sure you don't want to be my friend." I scoff. "Why would you?"

"Because you said that we could still be friends, and I like you so yeah…we are going to share a bottle of wine. Come on." Following Lucie down the corridor, I have nothing to lose. I've already lost Arizona, and honestly, I don't expect to ever get her back. Lucie is right, I do need a friend. I'm in New York alone and with nobody around me. A friend is a definite must right now.

Stepping inside the elevator, Lucie gives me a sad smile and I roll my eyes at her. "Please, don't feel sorry for me. It's my own fault. I just don't know how to keep my mouth shut and my opinions to myself."

"Do you want my opinion?"

"Sure." I shrug.

"I think you've had a lucky escape." _Okay, not what I was expecting to hear._ "Arizona loves the ladies."

"So?" I scoff. "What does that even mean?"

"You've been to her place, right?" She gives me a raised eyebrow and I nod. "So, you had the expensive wine, the amazing fire, the window shades…the music." A laugh bubbling in my throat, I shake my head and drop my gaze. "Mm, I thought so."

"Can we just wait until I have a strong drink in my hand before you tell me any more?" I give her an awkward smile and I feel my stomach twist. _I knew it was too good to be true._

"I'm sorry it ended like this, Eliza." Giving my shoulder a squeeze, I release a sigh.

"Kinda always knew this would happen." Shrugging, I step out of the elevator and head out onto the street. Maybe I have had a lucky escape, but honestly…there's more to her than this. She is so much more than the business woman who has it all. Women included. I saw a different side of her. I saw the true person behind the mask.

* * *

Settled into a booth, I feel like I'm going to be repeating this situation forevermore. Haven't I just been here whining over her? Haven't I just been here licking my wounds? I don't know what to do with my life right now. This weekend was amazing. It was everything I've never experienced before. I know Arizona isn't just about the sex. I know she likes to cuddle on cold nights in front of the fire. I know she prefers romantic comedies over any other genre. I know her favorite actress and her favorite color. I know she is close to her parents. I know she hates wearing socks unless absolutely necessary. Surely I wouldn't know these things if it was just sex. Surely she wouldn't have asked me to stay the weekend with her and allow me to spend a couple of hours in her library checking out her collection. It's not just sex…right?

"So, what are you going to do now?" Lucie pulls me from my thoughts and I don't have an answer for her. "Will you still work at the company?"

"Oh, I doubt it." I smile. "I don't know what I will do but I doubt I'll stay in New York. I don't have that kind of money." Sipping on my glass of red, I slump in my seat a little and wonder what the hell I'm going to do now. "Everything happens for a reason, right?"

"I believe it does." Lucie agrees. "I'm sure you'll figure it out." Placing her hand over mine, I pull away and give her a smile.

"I'm sorry, I just…I'm trying to process everything right now." Clearing my throat, I ask the question I've been desperate to ask since we got in the elevator. "How did you know about the fire and the expensive wine?"

"How do you think?" Raising her eyebrow, my heart drops into her stomach. "I was you around a year ago."

"And you stayed?"

"I needed it. Just like you do." She shrugs. _That's a lie._ I don't need it that much that I'd hang around. I'm not there for the money. It's Arizona I wanted. "You have to figure out what you want, Eliza. Arizona is known for being a womanizer…I know all about it."

"Yeah, seems you are right." I furrow my brow and try to hear what she has just said. "I, uh…I have to go."

"Where?" She stands and tries to stop me from leaving. "You're not going back to her, are you?"

"I am, but I'm getting my stuff and I'm getting out of this city." Knocking back the remainder of my wine, I grab my purse and unlock my cell.

 ** _Are you home? Eliza._**

 ** _Why?_**

 ** _I need to get my stuff I've left. Eliza._**

 ** _Sure. Come on up._**

Slipping my cell into my purse, I give Lucie a wave and she looks a little dejected. I'm not entirely sure what she thought would happen by bringing me here, but it clearly didn't judging by the face she has going on right now. Hitting the street, I'm only a block away from Arizona's condo, so I quicken my pace as best as I can in heels and I reach her doors in minutes. Giving the door man a smile, he tips his hat and holds the door open for me. Thanking him, I hit the elevator button and wait for it to take me up to the 63rd floor.

The doors opening, Arizona's front door is already open. "Hello? Arizona…" Coming into view, she motions for me to come inside and I do. Closing the door behind me. "I just have a few things here."

"They're ready for you." Glancing over to the kitchen counter, I find a hoodie folded with some jewelry sitting on top. "I'll just get you something to put them in."

"T-Thanks." My heart heavy, I hate this. She is right, though. Why should she have to do this back and forth with me any longer? She's 32...and I'm sure she's played these games enough times in her life. Placing them in a bag, she hands my belongings over and I notice her eyes are red and puffy. "H-Have you been crying?" I ask.

"Just a movie." She waves off my comment.

"You don't cry at movies." I blurt out. "They're unrealistic and false…"

"Yeah." She sighs as she wrings her hands together. "A little bit like my life."

"I'm sorry I hurt you." Stepping back out onto her private landing, I give her a sad smile and she simply shrugs. "Can I at least have a hug before I leave?"

"I guess so." Stepping a little closer to her, she wraps her arms around my waist and my body relaxes into her. Her body beginning to shake, sobs wrack her body and I have no words for her. For how I've treated her. Pulling back, she wipes the tears from her face and clears her throat. "You should get going."

"Y-Yeah." Moving towards the elevator, the doors open and I step inside. "Thank you for the job opportunity, Arizona. I should get home and get packed up. See ya!" The doors closing, I have around 15 seconds to get my emotions under control. This isn't the place for tears. This isn't the place I'm supposed to be. It's time to leave New York behind and return to the nothingness my life was before I came here.

* * *

"Yeah, it just didn't work out, though." Rolling my eyes down the handset to my best friend, she sighs, and groans. "I don't get what the problem is, Jo! How does this affect you?"

"Uh, because you're my best friend, Lize. I care about what you are doing with your life."

"I appreciate that, but there is nothing in New York for me. Nothing at all. I only came here because I got the job. Now, I don't have that…so whats the point? Why stay here and have no money when I can just go home and have no money? At least at home, I have my mom to keep me company. Whether she struggles to look at me or not. At least she is still there."

"I just think you would be a fool to pack up and leave this job, Lize. A complete fool. Look at the difference it has made to your life."

"Yeah, it did make a difference." Realising I owe Jo a fair amount of cash, I shake my head and internally chastise myself for ever taking it from her. "Shit! I, uh… I know I owe you, Jo, but just give me a little more time to figure out another job once I'm back home."

"I'm not interested in the money, Eliza. I'm more interested in your mental health. Look, my break was over ten minutes ago but I'll call you tonight, okay? Just think about this…"

"Thanks for being such a good friend, but there is nothing to think about. Love ya!" Jo sighing, she ends the call and I flop back down into my seat. I started packing a little while ago, and now I've hit a wall. A wall that tells me I need to sleep. It's only just after five and I have nothing in my cupboards but I don't feel much like going out. What I do have left, I'll need for heading back home anyway. Money wise.

Standing and rounding the counter, I pull a cup from my very sparse cupboards and pour myself some coffee. A light knocking on my front door pulling me from my task, I grab my hoodie from the back of the couch and slip it over my shoulders. Unbolting my door, I pull it open and find the one person I wasn't expecting to see standing out in the hall. "Arizona, how did you find me?"

"Your file is on the system. I'm sorry to just show up here but I haven't paid you for the week or so you worked for me."

"Oh, that's okay." I smile. "I just assumed it to be a trial."

"Well, it wasn't." She states as she hands over an envelope. "You worked, so you get paid. That's how it usually works, anyway. I've never had anyone who didn't want paying before." She gives me a look of confusion and I open the envelope that is now in my hand. "This month is a four week month so it's pretty self-explanatory."

"Arizona, I can't take this." Without even looking at the sum on the cheque, I hand it back over to her. "I just can't."

"Why can't you?" She furrows her brow. "You did your job… You get paid."

"I have nothing, Arizona. Nothing. My mom can't even look at me some days but that is another story entirely. I just…I can't take this money." Glancing over my shoulder, her gaze drops when she sees how little I have in my apartment. I don't even have a TV. I mean, who doesn't have a TV? "Thank you, but I'm going back to where I belong."

"Which is where exactly?"

"Detroit." I sigh. "It's where my mom is and it's where I've grown up. Well, mostly."

"Okay…" She tries to find my eyes but I can't look at her. If I do, I'll crumble. "Could I come in for five minutes?"

"It's probably warmer out in the hall." I scoff.

"But I don't want to be out in the hall." She states. "Just five minutes."

"Okay." Stepping aside, my ex-boss moves further inside my apartment and turns to face me. Closing the door, I toy with the cuffs of my hoodie. "You were never supposed to see this." I smile.

"See what?"

"Who I am." I shrug. "I know we don't have anything anymore, and I know that my life is the complete opposite of yours, but I still hoped to leave with a little dignity."

"Hey, don't do that. Don't bring yourself down like that." She moves towards the couch. "Do you mind if I sit for a moment?"

"No." I shake my head. "Knock yourself out."

"Look, Eliza, I know you are struggling to be in this city and I know you believe it isn't the life for you, but don't you think you owe it to yourself to try? You didn't get a job with me because I felt sorry for you. You got the job because you were the best on paper. You've worked for me for what? Almost two weeks, and in those two weeks, you've shown me that you are determined and you know what you are doing. Your job has nothing to do with the fact that we were dating or that I felt things for you that I've never felt with anyone else. Just…don't leave. Keep your job. Make a life here for yourself."

"I-I…"

"You've just said that you have nothing, so take this week's pay, get yourself set up here and come back to work on Monday. You don't have to worry about me. I know we are done. But you are a great employee. You _would_ be a loss to my company. Just, think about it?"

"That's kind but I don't think it's a good idea." I smile.

"You had a thing with Lucie, right? So, date her. See how it goes. Make your life here. The rest will just follow. You could set yourself up for life within the first year with me."

"I'd love to, but I don't think I can, Arizona. You may be done with me, but I just…it's not a good idea, okay?"

"Take the weekend to decide. Please?"

"Why didn't you tell me you had dated her?" The words falling from my mouth unexpectedly, I wince a little.

"Date who?"

"Lucie."

"Because it's not relevant." She states. "And it was hardly dating, trust me."

"Okay." I nod. "Do you think maybe we could get coffee tomorrow? I mean, I don't expect you to take me up on the offer, but I'd like to?"

"Okay, coffee sounds nice." She gives me an awkward smile. "Anywhere in particular?"

"The coffee shop down the street from the office?" I suggest. Giving me a simple nod, she placed the envelope down on the coffee table and stands.

"I should go."

"Y-Yeah." Walking her to the door, she turns back to face me and shoves her hands in her pockets. "Thanks for coming by. I'm sorry you had to see this side of me."

"I liked all sides of you, Eliza." Stepping away, she heads off down the darkened corridor and disappears out of sight. My heart sinking into my stomach, I close my apartment door and head back over to the couch. Taking the envelope, I toy with it for a moment or two before opening it up.

My eyes widening, I look at the handwritten numbers in front of me and I don't even know what to do with it. The cheque as real as anything, I place it down and settle back against the couch. _The life I could have with this salary…_ I wasn't comfortable with this pay when I first read through my contract, but it's not personal. Arizona isn't paying me off in any way, and I have to accept that. I'm no different to the next person who walks through her doors. Grabbing my cell, I hit a familiar number and send off a quick message.

 ** _I've just received my first pay check. Arizona came by. Lize x_**

 ** _Awesome. Is it good pay? Jo x_**

 ** _Just short of 10 x_**

 ** _10 what? Jo x_**

 ** _10,000. Lize x_**

 ** _Is that monthly? She's paid you a month up front even though you said you'd quit? Jo x_**

 ** _That's weekly, Jo. That is for the week I've worked. Lize x_**

 ** _Holy shit! You know what you have to do, Eliza. You have to keep this job. I'll kick your ass myself if you don't. Jo x_**

 ** _I'll call you tomorrow. X_**

Jo is right. I need this. I'll always need this job. I could make my life here as Arizona has already stated. I could be the one who made something of myself in my family. Mom isn't expecting me back anytime soon, and honestly, I'm not sure she cares. I'm pretty certain she was glad to see the back of me and sometimes I'm glad it's that way. At least here, I don't have to pretend to be someone else.

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. I'm going to try for another update at some point tonight. Your reviews have been amazing, so thank you…again.**


	9. Chapter 9

**I own nothing. All characters/storylines belong to Shonda. I'm simply 'borrowing' them.**

* * *

Chapter Nine

* * *

ARIZONA'S POV

* * *

I've laid awake for most of the night and this morning I'm beyond tired. Yesterday was a long and emotional day and the lack of sleep that followed hasn't made me feel any better at all. I'd thought about taking a few of my sleeping tablets but I'm trying to keep clear of them if possible. They sometimes become a little addictive and I've had more than one scare with them. Thankfully, I know when to stop. It must have been around midnight when I thought about calling Eliza but I somehow managed to avoid it. I hate the thought of her sleeping alone in that cold apartment. She wasn't wrong when she said that it was warmer out in the hall and honestly I felt uneasy leaving her there. I'm all for helping people out but she has made it perfectly clear that she doesn't want me around in that capacity. I just wish she hadn't freaked out yesterday. Sure, my staff are way overpaid, but it's my choice to pay them so well and it's not anybody else's business. If I spent my time thinking about people's opinions, I never would have made it to where I am right now. I'm proud of myself for the way my life has turned out, but I also understand that other people don't live the same life.

I'd have loved to have taken Eliza on that date last night but it turned to shit like all of my relationships do. Yeah, I've been unlucky in love and it always seems to come back to the damn money. Everything seems to revolve around my wealth and I'm tired of it. I'm tired of people assuming they know me because I live where I do or because of what the internet tells them. It may give people all the information in the world, my bra size included, but it doesn't tell them anything whatsoever about me as a person. Someone's daughter. Someone's sister. I'm a good person. I was raised to respect people and I was raised to live life to the full. I've done that, but now I want more. I want commitment. Love. A real lasting relationship. Honestly, I just want to be happy. Is it really too much to ask for after everything I've put back into the world? Because I have...I've put a lot of time, money and effort into helping people less fortunate than me. Sure, I don't give to receive but I must be due some sort of reward by now. Isn't that how karma is supposed to work? Isn't that the whole point of this?

I'm meeting with Eliza in the next thirty minutes and I've thought about canceling more than once. It's not that I don't want to see her, I just don't know the point of having coffee together. I know exactly what she thinks of me, and honestly...it's the same opinion as I've heard many many times before. My main concern is what Lucie has told her. Now that she knows Eliza and I have had a thing together, she won't like it. That, though, is my own fault. If I'd kept my mouth closed, she'd be none the wiser. At least, I'm assuming that's how it would be. My worry is that she has completely turned Eliza against me. I know we went out once, but that really is where it ended. The moment she came back to my place, her eyes lit up with excitement. Not excited towards me, no. Excitement at the prospect of what I could provide for her. Money...and nothing else. I didn't get that impression with Eliza, though. She was shocked, yeah, but that was fully expected considering she had just met me in an average bar. Lucie always knew about my money. She was employed by me way before we went out on a date.

I'd given her the benefit of the doubt once and all she demanded was shopping days and for me to take her on a road trip in my car. Yeah, I have a car that cost me the best part of a years salary for the average guy working in New York City, but I earned it. I earned it and I love it. It doesn't come out of the lock up very often, but I had planned to take Eliza out of town in it last night.

What do I want from our meeting today? Honestly, I just want her to stay and make a living for herself. That's all I want for her. Seeing her in that apartment last night was heartbreaking and the fact that she has nothing means I want to call up one of my designers and have them do up her entire place while she is out. I'd never do that, though. It isn't my place and I know she would hit the roof. I can wish, though, right?

Pulling on my jacket, I grab my glasses and my cell and slip my key into the back pocket of my jeans. I hate that I'm about to meet Eliza as nothing but an acquaintance, but this is the right thing to do. She can't get past my supposed intentions, and I can't live that way. I just can't.

* * *

Sat patiently in the local coffee shop, Eliza returns to our table with two coffees and takes a seat opposite me. It's a little awkward and she seemed a little embarrassed when she first saw me, but I think she has relaxed a little now that we are sitting down. She has no reason to feel embarrassed. I didn't have the best start where money is concerned, but that could all change for her from this moment on. Personally, I think she would be crazy to walk away from this opportunity but that is just my opinion, and my opinion cannot be the reason she stays or goes. If she doesn't want this, that is entirely up to her. I'm not about to chain her to the desk in my office.

"Thanks for the coffee." Taking a sip, I set it back down on the table and she simply smiles. She insisted that she paid for the coffee so I let her. "How was your evening?" I ask.

"Same old." She shrugs. "Yours?"

"Strange…" I breathe out. "It was kinda weird being alone all night."

"Mm, I'm sure you will get over that soon enough." Giving me a sad smile, I furrow my brow but she drops her gaze which tells me that she doesn't want to discuss us anymore. "I'm thinking of staying…"

"That's good." Giving her a dimpled smile, my hand finds her own resting on top of the table and for a moment I forget that we aren't anything anymore. "S-Sorry." I pull back and drop it to my knee. _Get a grip, Arizona._ "I just...I'm happy you decided to stay."

"You mean thinking about it?" She questions as she adds a little more sugar to her coffee. "I haven't decided yet."

"Right, yes. Of course." I smile. Sure, she's not 100% about staying yet but the fact she is thinking about it makes me happy. I just have to get past the issue of missing her now. Because I do. We may have only been dating for around two weeks, but in those weeks...I've felt more than I ever have with anyone else. In those weeks, I felt happy. Even when things weren't good, I felt happy knowing that she was potentially going to be in my life. Now, I just have to be happy _for_ her and not _with_ her. Honestly, she doesn't seem to be missing me anyway so I don't know why I'm torturing myself. "I would really love for you to stay, Eliza. I hope you know that."

"But why?" She gives me a look of total confusion and I hate how low her confidence seems to be right now. "You can find another assistant by the end of the day...you know that."

"Yeah, I could. That doesn't mean I want to, though. I'd sooner you stayed."

"You still haven't said why…" She seems a little cold towards me right now and I don't know what I've done. Yesterday she was begging me for another chance in my office, and now, she doesn't seem like she could care any less. "Are you just going to stare at me?" _God, I wish I could._

"Sorry." I shake my head. "You're right. You just decide what you want and them I'll be waiting for a call to let me know."

"I thought as much." She rolls her eyes and toys with her cup.

"Excuse me?"

"You could get yourself a new assistant and do the whole romantic lighting and soft music thing with them. Just like you did with me...just like you did with Lucie. I'm sure it won't take long to find someone who would swoon just like I did."

"That's not fair, Eliza. You know nothing about me!"

"I know you like to play around and give us all the same treatment." She laughs, sarcastically. "You told me that night that there was only one woman you were trying to impress. Did you say that to all of them?"

"Actually, no." I drop my gaze. "No, I didn't."

"And I'm supposed to just believe you?" She asks.

"Well, yeah. If you cared about me like you claimed you did, you would believe me. You know, I trusted that you weren't with me for my money like the others were, so why do you find it so hard to believe that I just wanted you?" Her face dropping a little, she realizes what I'm saying is right and she finds herself speechless. "Maybe you should think about that before you accuse me of anything at all."

"I didn't even know you had money, Arizona. You know that."

"And that is why I felt something more for you. That's why I wanted to be with you. I saw you for who you are and I went from there. You just didn't allow me to try at all. You didn't even give me the chance to prove myself. Not that I should have to."

"I'm sorry…"

"I think it's time for me to leave." Standing, I straighten myself out and give her a slight nod of the head. "Maybe if you can take your head out of your ass for five minutes, you'll see that I'm a nice person. You know, the way I felt about you? I'd have happily given away every dollar I had if it meant I could be happy with you. I'd have swapped it all for you. Maybe we went too fast, I don't know. I'm just sorry you couldn't see past your own worries because I was _so_ in where you were concerned, Eliza." Shrugging on my jacket, I grab my cell. "Thank you for the coffee but I think we've said all there is to say. My bad for getting too involved with a beautiful woman. It won't happen again." Tears threatening to fall, I've completely let myself down again. I've completely done the opposite to what I'd planned. Fucking hopeless as usual.

* * *

God, that woman infuriates me something terrible. I know I have some major feelings for her, but sometimes I wonder why I even bother. I'm so mad at myself for telling her what I did a few hours ago, but she needed to know. Regardless of the fact that we are so through, she still needed to know. She _had_ to know. I mean, she puts herself down and sees herself as less than she is. No matter what we are, or aren't anymore, she still should know that those things she thinks about herself are nothing but absolute crap. I'll tell her that time and time again.

She's tried to call me a few times since I left her sitting in the coffee shop but I just can't speak to her right now. Unless she is calling to give me an answer as to whether she wants to keep her job, which I doubt since she could have just left a message. I've thought about calling her back but we are just going around in circles now. It's becoming ridiculous.

Settling down on the couch, I kick my feet up and wrap a blanket around me. It's not cold, but it's more of a comfort than anything else. I'd sooner be wrapped up in someone's arms but I'm not holding out much hope for that happening anytime in the near future. It just never seems to happen.

My cell once again buzzing, I glance at the screen and furrow my brow before hitting accept. "Everything okay, John?" My door man trying to reassure me, I'm relieved to hear his calm voice.

"I have a lady here who wishes to speak to you, Miss Robbins."

"Her name?" I ask.

"One Eliza Minnick." He states in his gentlemanly voice.

"Could you please tell Miss Minnick that I'm busy right now, John."

"No problem, ma'am." I can hear him relaying my words to Eliza. "Miss Minnick says she will wait in the lobby until you are no longer busy." John isn't stupid. He's seen Eliza leaving my place more than once.

"Send her up." I sigh.

"Right away, ma'am." Cutting the call, I don't bother to move from my seat. I can allow Eliza access to place remotely so I wait for the system to alert me and I unlock the door. Hearing the click of the lock, she pushes the door open and steps inside.

"Sorry, I just, uh...I don't like how we left things earlier." Tugging at her fingers I simply sit and stare at her. "Could we talk for a little while?"

"Oh, I don't know. I'm pretty busy." I shrug.

"Oh, okay." Turning, she moves towards the door and I call her back.

"That was me trying to be funny. Clearly, it needs some work." She turns and gives me a small smile. "Just sit down, Eliza. You make me feel uncomfortable when you hover like that."

"Thanks." Moving further into the room, the door closes and she makes her way through the kitchen.

"Help yourself to a glass of wine on your way through if you like."

"Did you want a refill?" She motions towards my empty glass and I give her a nod. "I'm not interrupting anything am I?"

"Nope. Just my boring night in." Taking a seat on the couch beside me, she taps her foot with what I'm assuming is nerves and I place my hand on her knee to stop her. "Did you have something you need to say?"

"Y-Yeah." She gives me a slight nod and I position myself so that she knows I'm listening. "Just that I'm sorry more than anything. For the things, I've said. The way I've treated you. How I hurt you. I know I said I didn't want the job, but if it's still on the table, I'd like to accept it?"

"Okay…"

"There's nothing in Detroit for me, Arizona. There has never been. If it wasn't for my own determination, I'd have ruined my life a long time ago. I know you probably hate me and I know you don't want me here, but I just had to say sorry to you. A sorry that I truly mean. You've heard it plenty of times from me before, but you're right. I should have taken your word. I should have trusted that you weren't just using me. So, yeah...I'm sorry."

"I appreciate your apology."

"It was just hard going growing up and some days, the only time I ate was when I was at school. I know I'm not the first and I certainly won't be the last, but I've never been around money like this. I've never earned anything like this. It was shocking more than anything when I saw my salary."

"That may be true, but it didn't give you the right to accuse me...again." Realising that she is actually opening up to me, I quickly try to back track. "I'm sorry, I'm just mad at what you said."

"And you have every right to be. I'm mad at myself, too." She gives me a genuine apologetic smile and I nod. "I think so much more of you than what I've probably led you to believe, Arizona. So much more. I just, I got scared of all this change. I've never been allowed to be my true self and since being in New York, it's like a totally new life."

"Unable to be yourself?"

"I really don't want to get into it right now. I just came here to say sorry and hope that someday you can forgive me for the things I've said." Finishing her wine, she stands and my hand falls from her knee. "I'll leave you to enjoy the rest of your evening."

"Have you had the heating in your place fixed?" I ask as she turns her back to me.

"No, not yet."

"Then you'll stay here tonight."

"You don't have to worry about me, Arizona. Heating is a luxury to me even at the age of 25. It's no big deal and I'd sooner eat than be warm."

"I don't care. You are not going home to that cold apartment when I have two guest rooms here. It's simply not going to happen."

"I'll call about it tomorrow, okay? If it would really be okay for me to stay the night…" Heading back over to me, she takes my hand in her own and places a kiss on my knuckles. That feeling hitting me like a freight train, I have to try and distance myself. "I'll just head back and grab some clothes."

"Do you want me to get you a car?"

"No. The walk will be fine. Clears my head." Heading for the door, she turns back and gives me a smile. "I'll be out of your way first thing in the morning."

Watching her leave, I'm happy I allowed her to talk. I know she's had it tough but I'm not the bad guy. Something tells me there is more to her background than she is letting on, but it isn't any of my business. Tonight she is here as an employee and hopefully a friend. I can sleep peacefully tonight knowing that she isn't going home to that apartment alone.

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. A little overwhelmed right now.**


	10. Chapter 10

**I own nothing. All characters/storylines belong to Shonda. I'm simply 'borrowing' them.**

* * *

Chapter Ten

* * *

ELIZA'S POV

* * *

So I'm headed back to Arizona's place right now. What do I want to do when I get there? Hold her. I want to hold her. It's just not my place to do that anymore. I'm so pissed with myself for acting so pathetic, and nasty, and rude, but I've made my bed...and now I must lie in it. To be honest, I'm surprised she has even given me the time of day. I'll always be grateful for her allowing me to get things fixed up at my place, but I meant it when I told her I would be out first thing in the morning. She doesn't need me hanging around her on her weekend off. She doesn't need me and the negativity I seem to bring with me. She is doing me a favor, nothing more. I have to remember that when I step back through her door within the next five minutes.

Making my way through the doors of her condo block, John gives me a knowing smile and I thank him for his help earlier. Waving off my thanks, he throws me a wink and motions towards the elevator. "You should get back up there, Miss Minnick. It's getting a little cold out here now."

"You're right." I smile as the elevator doors open and I step inside. "Goodnight, John." The doors closing, I remind myself not to stumble about when I reach Arizona's private landing. Now that I know she can see me coming, I won't stand nervously again. It only makes me look even weaker than I already feel. The doors opening, the lock once again clicks and I push my way inside. A small bag hiked up on my shoulder, Arizona directs me to the guest bedroom and I place it on the bed that is just as big as her own. _Wow!_ I won't lie, I cannot wait to climb into this later on tonight. An ensuite bathroom to the left of me catches my attention and I cannot help but peek inside. _Nice._ My very own huge floor to ceiling window with an amazing view for the night makes me never want to leave this place. I know I've had the grand tour, but this is different. During the tour, my attention was primarily on Arizona. Yes, I was taking it all in, but now I'm truly seeing this place for the first time. It's something else, that's for sure.

Deciding that I've been gone a little longer than necessary, I head back down the hallway and Arizona is standing at the kitchen counter. "Everything okay?" She asks.

"Yes. Sorry, I was just admiring the view."

"That's okay." She shrugs. "I was going to order some food in, did you want something?"

"Oh, um...no that's okay. I'm sure you were enjoying your night before I ruined it so I think I'll just turn in for the night."

"It's barely 7 pm." She states as she rounds the counter.

"Yeah. I know." I smile. "You don't need my company, though." Turning, I move back through the living room but my wrist is gripped and I'm stopped in my tracks. "Arizona…"

"Please stay and have dinner with me…"

"I'm not very hungry." I lie. "But thank you."

"So, just sit with me then?" Her eyebrow raised, I give her a smile nod in agreement. "Thank you." Heading off to a draw in the kitchen, she pulls out a menu from a local takeout and I'm pleasantly surprised. Watching as she peruses the list of foods, I catch her glancing up at me and I drop my gaze. "So, what pizza do you want?"

"You eat pizza?" I laugh.

"Um...yeah. I said I like good food, and this pizza is the best in town."

"Yeah?" I raise an eyebrow and she gives me a nod. "Pepperoni."

"Oo, good choice." Her dimples pop. "Fries?"

"Who eats pizza without fries?" I scoff as I round the counter and take the menu from her hands. "Maybe I should do the ordering?"

"Be my guest." She shrugs. Watching me as I chew on my lip, I can feel her eyes on me but I don't look up. If I do, I'll probably say something stupid or inappropriate. " _This_ is the Eliza I wanted."

"I'm sorry?" My brow furrowed, I realize what she is saying and I give her a sad smile. "I'm sorry I couldn't be this side of me when it mattered. When there was something between us."

"I'm happy you're here." She speaks barely above a whisper. "I seem to have this one problem…"

"Which is?" She moves a little closer to me and takes the menu from my hands. Her body pressing me against the counter, her lips find mine and all breath leaves my body. Pulling back, she brushes her thumb across my bottom lip and studies my face. "I just…" Shaking her head, she presses another kiss to my lips and rests her forehead against my own. "Can't let go."

Taking her face in both hands, my head still resting against her own, I give her a genuine smile. Small, but genuine. "I don't want you to let me go…"

"Then please, stop pushing me away…" Our lips meeting again, something has changed between us. I don't know what, but it feels good. It feels right. It feels like I belong here.

* * *

Sat at Arizona's window seat, I rest the side of my head against the window and take in the view I'm being blessed with this evening. Lights shining as the darkness take over the skies above me, all I'm getting is pure silence. New York is busy and bustling and noisy, but I'm getting none of that right now. Being this high up is like living in my own little world. My own little bubble. It's kind of amazing, really. We finished dinner around thirty minutes ago and after the clear up, we've both decided to take a few minutes to ourselves to just be. Arizona is clicking away on her computer keyboard a few rooms down the hall, and I'm leaving her to do her own thing. I don't want to be too clingy. She's said what she needed to say, and so have I. So now, we go from there. There is no rush to do anything. There is no rush to be anything. She's made it clear that she wants me in her life, and I want to be in hers. Sure, her world is the total opposite of mine, but I have to stop allowing my upbringing to get in the way of my happiness. Yes, it was hard and at times I wanted to die, but look where I am now? I'm sitting 63 floors up looking out on Central Park via Park Avenue. Yep, Park Avenue.

It's time to look out for myself, and if that means happiness with Arizona, then why would I want to ruin that? It was never my intention to push her away or ruin what was starting, but I struggled. I struggled with the idea of having so much in my life when I've had nothing before I met her. I know I never should have accused her and no matter my past, it doesn't excuse my behavior. I know that. I also know that we could be good together. I realized that after she walked out on me at the coffee shop. I believe I knew it before then, but watching her fight back tears as she apologized for getting involved with me, it broke my heart. That's why I couldn't let this lie. It's why I had to come by her place. I know she was choosing to ignore my calls but I can't really blame her. I'm sure she is sick to death of dealing with this crap from me but I'm done. No more. Detroit can kiss my ass. My family can kiss my ass. Anyone who has ever doubted me or refused me help...they can all go to hell. I don't need that kind of people in my life. I don't need them to tell me I'm a disappointment anymore.

"Sorry to interrupt." That gorgeous voice pulling me from my thoughts, I lift my head from the window pane and give Arizona a genuine smile. "Did you want me to leave you alone a little while longer?"

"No." My head shaking, she steps a little closer to me and pushes me forward a little. Shifting behind me, she rests her legs either side of my own and pulls me back against the front of her body. Her arms wrapping around my mid section, she places a kiss on top of my head and I swear I've just completely fallen for this woman. "You don't have to sit with me."

"But I want to." Her chin resting on my shoulder, she turns her attention to the view I was admiring and a comfortable silence falls over us. This is nice. Her arms wrapped around me. Her breath brushing against the side of my face. Her scent comforting me. I didn't expect this to be the outcome of our evening, but I'm happy to be here. I'm happy with the knowledge that we are going to be okay. _Just don't mess this up, Minnick._ "Talk to me." Her voice barely above a whisper, I have to wonder if she even said what she did.

"About what?" I ask.

"Anything. Everything. What's on your mind…"

"Arizona, you really don't want to hear about anything that is on my mind. Even I don't want to hear it." Glancing up at her, her hand cups my jaw and her lips find my own. It's not needy or desperate, it's soft and reassuring. Reassuring is exactly what I need in my life right now.

"Please?" She pulls back. "I need to know all there is to know about you, and I need to know why you have been so down on yourself."

"It's just how it's always been." I shrug. "Nothing was ever simple growing up. Nothing was ever how my friends talked about it."

"You had a pretty rough time, huh?"

"I did, but I'm not the only one to have had a shitty life." I laugh. "It just ended up being normal for me."

"Would you tell me about it?" She tries her luck.

"I guess so, but it's not very interesting. How I live my life right now is actually quite embarrassing."

"I'm sure that's not true." She sighs as she laces her fingers with my own and runs her thumb over the back of my hand.

"Oh, you wanna bet?" I raise an eyebrow. "Not only did my mom hate me for looking so much like my father, she actually moved me back to Poland at one point."

"You grew up in Poland?" She asks, a little surprised by my strong American accent.

"No, not really. Mom came to America when I was three. Detroit. She discovered that my father had been sleeping with a local hooker and she just couldn't take it. He had brought shame to our family. Our very religious family."

"Wow, okay…"

"She took me with her and it's the only thing I'm happy about where my child hood is concerned. Even though she tried to make the best of what she had, she wouldn't allow me to sit at the dinner table with her because it was like looking at him." It's not a big deal, but I guess when I think back now, it did hurt a little. "I just kept my head down and did my best at school."

"When did you go back to Poland?" She asks.

"When I was 15." I sigh. "Mom had herself a new job and she sometimes worked later. She hadn't come home at her usual time one evening and my friend was over. She walked in half an hour later to find us kissing, and well...it was like the end of the world."

"So you moved away?"

"First of all, no. It must have been around two months later when I came home from school and my bags were packed. Hers too. She said we were taking a trip back to Poland to visit family. I thought it was unusual because she very rarely spoke about our family back home. Her home...not mine. Detroit will always be my home. I guess she was trying to get the flight money together."

"Okay…"

"When we got there, we went to a different town than what she had told me about growing up. I didn't think anything of it at the time. At least, not until she took me to some back street lunatic."

"Okay, I'm not entirely sure what that means, Eliza."

"Conversion therapy, Arizona. She took me to a guy who performed conversion therapy."

"Oh." Her tone changing, her arms tighten around my waist and I feel an instant comfort.

"Yeah." I nod. "Oh."

"Did she really believe that would work? And isn't it illegal?"

"Yes, and yes." I laugh. It's more of a nervous laugh than anything else. "Every time I returned home, she would ask me the same question. Are you cured yet? Followed by me saying no, and her telling me to get out of her house until I had rid myself of my disgusting thoughts."

"I'm so sorry."

"It must have taken around eighteen months before I realized I had to give her what she wanted to hear. What she needed to hear."

"I'm sorry you had to experience that." I know she is lost for words, but I've never told anyone else about this. Only mom and I know about it. She was too horrified to tell anyone about what I'd done. Not what she was doing.

"So you had to lie about who you are to keep her quiet and stop the therapy…" It's more of a statement than a question and I simply nod.

"To this day she truly believes I'm straight." I sigh. "When we moved back to the US, I avoided dating. I've _never_ been attracted to men, Arizona, but she just doesn't see that. Her daughter cannot possibly be gay because she says so and because she finds it disgusting."

"It must have been awful for you." Shaking her head, she dips it a little and places a kiss on my shoulder. "I cannot believe you were about to go back to Detroit."

"If I'd have stayed here without being with you, I'd have been lying to myself about how I felt...so I figured I may as well go home and continue to live the lie I was already living."

"I'm so happy you came by here tonight." She whispers as she places another kiss below my ear. "I don't ever want you to have to live a lie while you are here with me."

"Me neither...but that isn't where it ends, Arizona."

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys! As always, I appreciate your reviews.**


	11. Chapter 11

**I own nothing. All characters/storylines belong to Shonda. I'm simply 'borrowing' them.**

* * *

Chapter Eleven

* * *

ARIZONA'S POV

* * *

I'm giving Eliza 100% of my attention right now, and I fear she is about to tell me something I'm not going to like. I mean, I don't like anything that she has told me so far, but her demeanor has just completely changed. Her voice has changed. Her shoulders have slumped. I want to ask, but I'm scared of what she is about to say. My heart broke for her only minutes ago, and I'm not sure I can hear any more of what she has to say. I'm happy that she trusts me enough to tell me about her past, but it's a little hard to hear. I was raised with complete love. My mom and dad were more than okay with the fact that I'm into women. Mom still maintains to this day that she always knew I was gay...so I just allow her to believe that. I allow her to entertain herself with that idea. "Arizona, are you still with me?"

"Yeah, sorry." Giving her a small smile, she sits up and turns to face me. Now sharing the opposite end of the window seat. "You were saying…"

"There is something else you need to know." Dropping her gaze, she shifts uncomfortably and clears her throat. "Back in Detroit, I uhh...I'm engaged." _Okay, wait...what?_ Trying my hardest not to react, I clench my jaw and close my eyes. _She's engaged._ This is just a complete mess. First I have to come to terms with the fact I'll likely have to keep our relationship secret, and now she tells me she is engaged. "Please say something…"

"I don't know what you want me to say."

"That it's going to be okay. That you aren't going to ask me to leave." Her words trailing off, she gives me a slight nod and stands. "Actually, I think I probably should leave."

"Don't." I stop her. "Don't do that."

"Do what?" She asks.

"Expect me to just be fine with the fact that you are engaged," I state. "Of course, this isn't all okay. The way you have been treated isn't okay. The life you lead isn't okay. The inability to be yourself isn't okay, and no...you being here and sleeping with me whilst you are engaged _isn't_ okay."

"You think I don't already know all of that?" She scoffs.

"Do you love her?" I ask. "I need to know before this goes any further...before _we_ go any further."

"No." She grits her teeth. "No, I don't love _him!_ "

"Him?" I furrow my brow. "You got engaged to please your mother?"

"I had to. She was getting suspicious again. Then one night she arrived home with her friend's son. He's a lovely guy, but he's not for me...obviously."

"Wow, this just gets crazier by the minute." I laugh, my anxiety beginning to kick in. I'm all for her opening up to me, but this is _a lot_ of information to take in at once. "So, what are you going to do?"

"I don't know."

"Um, you don't know?" I scoff. "You can't just remain engaged, Eliza. Regardless of what your reasons for it are."

"I left Detroit for that exact reason, Arizona. I saw the ad for the job and I knew it was my way of getting out of there."

"Okay, so when they question why you haven't returned? When they question why you haven't set a date? When they come here looking for you...then what?"

"This is the first time I've thought about it." Her voice breaking, I step closer to her and take her hands in my own and try to give her something, anything to reassure her. I don't know how, though, because I'm trying to reassure myself right now.

"Arizona, you are the only person that has ever made me happy. The only person who has ever even really seen me. For who I am, at least. I just...I don't know what to do. Nobody knows I'm gay. Nobody knows I have you in my life. Nobody knows who I really am."

"And I hate that, but if this is how it has to be...if we have to live our lives in secret…" Closing my eyes and taking a breath, I give her a slight nod. "Then I guess I can do that for you."

"Why should you have to live your life that way, though?" She asks. "Why should you be dragged into my problems?"

"Because I don't want to lose you." I smile as I run my thumb across her cheek. Leaning into my touch, her eyes close and I know she is close to tears. "Just...think about all of this, okay? Think about the possibility of never being who you are. Do you really want to always live your life that way? I know I don't, but I will if it's what you need. I care about you too much for you to be hurting, but just please...think about it."

"Okay." Sighing, she steps away from me and shrugs off her hoodie. "Would you mind if I take a shower? Just feeling a little tense right now."

"Depends…" I narrow my eyes.

"O-On what?"

"Whether I'm allowed to come and relieve you of that tension?"

A slight smile creeping onto her face, I raise an eyebrow and it grows wider. I wouldn't usually ask but I'm still a little on edge where sex is concerned. I don't want her to accuse me of anything so I'm holding back. "I'd love you to take a shower with me."

* * *

Hands braced against the glass partition, Eliza moans as I bite down on her shoulder. Her body dripping, I can barely contain my own arousal. Given half the chance, I'd have gone solo by now. She makes me feel that way. She makes me unbelievably aroused all times of the day. It's not just her body. It's her personality. Her mind. Her facial features. Her voice. Just…everything. My fingers ghosting up the side of her body, my hand slips around to the front of her and I take her nipple between my fingers. Gently pinching and tugging, she groans and forces her ass back against me, only adding to the unbearable throb between my legs. "Fuck, Arizona." Taking her earlobe between my teeth, she grinds her ass back once again and arches her back.

"You ready?" The water cascading over my back, I know she is desperate for my touch. I know she needs me, and I know her core is aching for release. Slipping my right hand down and between her legs from behind, she forces herself down against it but I pull back. "Oh, someone is a little desperate tonight."

"Ugh, you've no idea." She moans as she presses the side of her face against the steamed up glass. "Please, Arizona."

"Please what, beautiful?"

"Please fuck me…" Her words are music to my ears and I cannot tease her any longer. My fingers meeting molten heat, the moan that she releases is like nothing I've ever heard in my life. "Uh…yeah." She moans. "Please, do it. Fuck me, Arizona." Knowing exactly what her words do to me, she's giving me exactly what I want. She's giving me herself. Her body. Her mind. Slipping two fingers deep inside, and hard, she almost loses her footing but I wrap my left arm around her waist and hold her upright. Pumping hard and fast, her body writhes against me and right in this moment, I've never been so thankful for answering a call in my entire life. This woman makes me feel alive. More alive than I ever have. She gives me that sense of happiness we are all looking for, and honestly…her past is irrelevant right. I'm the one who's making her feel good. I'm the one who is on her mind.

My body pressed against her own, I add another finger and all breath leaves her body. "God, I love how tight you are for me." My words hitting her, her left hand comes up and behind her head and she grips me by the back of the neck. My lips working the skin of her damp neck, her hair is slightly curled and she looks as hot as ever. Her center sucking my fingers deeper as she nears the edge, I move my mouth closer to her ear. "Touch yourself, Eliza." Her entire body now resting back against me, I stumble a little and my back hits the wall behind me. Her right hand slipping down her stomach, her fingers connecting with her throbbing clit and I'm rewarded with one hell of a gasp. "That's it...come for me, beautiful. Let me feel you come around me."

"Fuck, yes. Oh god...o-oh, Arizo-" Her words cut short, her legs shake and her orgasm hits her full force. "Fuck, don't stop. Ugh, don't stop."

"Ride it out." My voice low and sultry, my pace slows but I hit deeper than ever before. "God, I could watch you like that forever."

"Mm…" Her body coming down from its high, she steps under the water to warm her body a little and I slip out of her. "Shit…" Whimpering at the loss of contact, she turns to face me and forces me hard against the wall. Her lips attacking every inch of skin around my neck and jawline, her hand slips between our bodies and she smirks when her fingers hit a flood of arousal. "So fucking wet."

Dropping to her knees, she nudges my knees apart and runs her thumb down the entire length of my center. "Is this all for me?" She asks, and her words send my head into a spin. Closing my eyes, I bite down on my bottom lip and give her a nod in agreement. It's all I can do. I have no words for this absolute beauty on her knees in front of me. Rewarded with her tongue on my clit, my back arches against the cool marble tiled wall and my hands instantly find the back of her head. "Mm...you taste amazing." Spreading my legs a little wider, Eliza slips two fingers deep inside of me but never removes her tongue that is currently working wonders. "Stunning…" She breathes out as she pulls back for a little air. My hand pushing her mouth where I need it, she smirks against me before resuming her activities with my aching bundle of nerves. She knows I'm close. I can feel my walls tightening around her. "I want to taste more of you." She states as her thumb brushes over my clit. "I want to taste everything you have got."

"Fuck, Eliza." My breathing becoming a little labored, she curls her fingers inside of me and sucks my clit into her mouth. "Oh god." My stomach tightening, I feel a little light headed. My feet planted hard into the floor beneath me, she drags her fingers down my walls and my entire body comes undone. "Yes, oh fuck...yes!" My hips rocking against her mouth, she doesn't let up with her movements. Right now, she is everywhere and nowhere at the same time. The way she makes me feel could easily be confused with a dream but I know this is real. This woman deep inside of me is as real as anything and everything in my life. My body coming down from its high, I pull Eliza up to her feet and my lips instantly find hers. Tasting myself on her lips only makes me want more of her. More of her...forever. I know that I could spend my life with this woman. I just hope that she allows me to be that person for her. Her forever.

* * *

Moving around my kitchen, I grab two bottles of water from the refrigerator and move towards my bed. I'm wiped right now. It's been a long day, and honestly...my head hurts from all the information I've taken in tonight alone. How could anyone do what they did to her? I mean, her mom of all people? I can't even begin to imagine what she went through. I do want to know more, but I don't want to push her too much. I don't want her to open up until she comes to me with her words. In her own time. She knows I'm here to listen and support her when she wants me to know more, but until then, I'll happily just be here with her. Sure, the idea of living my life in secret hurts...but it's up to Eliza to make that decision. I would never do anything to disrupt her life, and I certainly wouldn't ever do anything that could jeopardize her relationship with her family. Although, going off of what she has told me...I don't imagine there is much of a relationship there. Sad, but true. _I can be whatever she needs. I know I can...and more._

The sound of bare feet hitting my floor causing me to glance up, I find Eliza standing at the end of the corridor looking a little lost. "You okay?" I ask, my brow furrowed.

"Yeah, just wanted to say goodnight." She smiles. "And could I grab some water?"

"Um, sure." Stepping a little closer to her, I hand over one of the bottles I have and she gives me a thankful smile. "Are you going some place?"

"Bed?" She has a look of confusion on her face and I'm certain she isn't joking.

"Here, or?"

"Yeah, down the hall." She throws her thumb over her shoulder and I burst out in a fit of laughter. "What?"

"You are joking, right?"

"Uh, no." She states. "Wasn't that the plan when you offered me a place to stay?"

"Get your ass in my bed, Eliza." Rolling my eyes, I move towards the bed and slip under the covers. Glancing up, I find her slowly approaching and I get the impression that she is unsure of what's going on. "Hey, come here…" Holding out my hand, she takes it in her own and climbs into bed. "Did you really think I expected you to sleep in the guest room?"

"Honestly? Yeah…" She breathes out. "I just didn't want to assume, is all."

"I'll always want you in my bed, Eliza. I just want you to be comfortable and happy with me." Settling down, she follows my actions and I pull her into my arms. Her back pressed against my front, she relaxes against me and a slight shiver travels through her body. "Are you cold?"

"No." She sighs. "I'm perfect, Arizona."

"Mm…" My eyes closing, I can already feel my body being pulled towards sleep. "You definitely are perfect." Her body completely melting into my own, I spoon her like I've never spooned anyone before. I've never craved another presence in my bed, but I do with Eliza. She just makes me feel safe. Regardless of whether I'm older, she makes me feel like she has my back. Protected. Cared for.

 _She makes me feel loved…._

* * *

 **Thanks for reading and for the huge response to the last chapter.**


	12. Chapter 12

**I own nothing. All characters/storylines belong to Shonda. I'm simply 'borrowing' them.**

* * *

Chapter Twelve

* * *

ELIZA'S POV

* * *

The sound of the coffee machine waking me from what can only be described as heaven, I crack one eye open and find Arizona leaning against the kitchen counter, her hair up in a messy bun and chomping on a bagel. Glancing over at her alarm clock, it's a little after nine and I don't think I've ever felt so well rested. Wrapped up in a cover that is like being hugged by Arizona herself, the scent makes me want to lie here a little longer, but the real thing is just a few feet away from me. Deciding to just watch for a little while, I don't move. Instead, I simply take in her absolute heart-stopping beauty. I think this may be the first time I've saw her with her hair pulled up, and she looks just as good as when she is suited up for the office.

There's something about her this morning that is different. I don't know if it is the lack of stress from not being at the office, or whether I've just never really seen her in this light, but she's different. She's…happy? Content? Where she should be with who she should be with? I don't know, but I like it. I like it a lot. _God, she's so gorgeous._ It actually hurts my heart how beautiful she is. I mean, if I ever get the chance to meet her family…I have to thank her parents for bringing something so amazing into this world.

Last night I woke around 3am. The sound of silence lulled me back to sleep in a matter of seconds, but the first thing I noticed was that Arizona still had her arms wrapped around me. Like, she wanted me here. Needed me here. It felt so good to sleep in someone's arms, and I hope it becomes a common occurrence around here. Everything about being here just feels unreal, but I'm not about to ruin any of this. That's happened one too many times already and I cannot allow it get between what is growing between us. Because something is. Something is growing and something is keeping me in place right now.

Her cell buzzing against the counter, she glances down and the smile that creeps onto her face makes me feel warm inside. Picking it up, she holds her bagel between her teeth and nods a little as she hits the screen and sends a message back. _Who is that? And why are they making her so happy?_ Placing the device back down, she pours some fresh coffee and places it on a tray. Heading my way, I think about feigning sleep but I don't need to. I don't care if she knows I've been watching her. I could watch her all day.

Turning her attention to me, she glances up and finds me staring at her. "Hey, good morning."

"Mm, it is." I stretch out my body. "Did you sleep well?" I ask.

"Better than I have in a long time." She nods as she takes a seat beside me on the edge of the bed. "You?"

"Oh yeah." I smile. "What's this?" Glancing down at the tray of food, she gives me a slight shrug. "Arizona, you didn't have to make me breakfast."

"I did." She counters. "Have to make you want to come back again, right?"

"Trust me…I'll always want to come back." Taking her hand in my own, I pull her a little closer and she sits cross-legged on the bed next to me. "Thank you, though. This is amazing."

"Eat up. We have a busy day." Spreading another condiment on another bagel, she takes a chunk out of it and gives me a smile. "The sooner you eat and stop staring at me, the sooner we can get this show on the road."

"Where are we going?" I ask, my brow furrowed.

"I haven't decided yet. Wherever the car takes us." She shrugs.

"You're driving?" I deadpan. "When do you _ever_ drive?"

"What's that supposed to mean?" Her face dropping, I laugh and she gives me a look of confusion.

"Arizona Robbins does not drive," I smirk. "You have poor Rich run ragged most days."

"That is not true." She shakes her head. "And anyway, Rich loves his job with me!"

"Mmhmm…" I give her a knowing look.

"He does." She defends. "If he didn't, he wouldn't work for me." Surely she knows I'm joking.

"Oh my god. Imagine if I was your driver…"

"I don't follow." She takes another bite of her bagel and rolls her eyes at me.

"Think of all the hot sex in the back of that car. Mm mm mmm!" Smirking, she bites down on her bottom lip and a smile graces her own face. "Wow, that would be hot."

"I'm sure my own car has enough room for some antics, don't you worry your pretty little head."

"Oo, is that a promise?" I throw her a wink.

"Do you want it to be?" She leans in a little closer and drops light kisses along my jawline. "It can certainly be arranged."

"Oh, I don't know. I'm pretty sure you've got an expensive car and I wouldn't want to ruin the interior." Her lips working up my neck, they reach my ear and it sends a shiver down my spine.

"What if I told you it would be worth it?" Pushing her down on her back, I quickly straddle her legs and her robe falls open a little. Exposing one of her perfect breasts.

"I'm sure it would be." My thumb brushing her nipple, she arches her hips up against my center, and I have to hold back the moan I'm desperate to release. "Maybe it'll happen. Who knows." Pushing her robe up her body, I find her completely naked beneath and my thumb brushes against her clit. "You are soaked, after all."

"You make me that way." She breathes out as I run two fingers through her dripping folds.

"I know." Leaning forward and placing a kiss on her lips, she moans into my mouth and I have to keep control. She is always in control but this time it's my turn. "Right, up you get." Climbing off of her, she furrows her brow and I stand from the bed. "Time to get ready, right?"

"You are joking?" She scoffs.

"Uh…do I look like I'm joking?" Slapping her thigh, she bites down on her bottom lip and I give her a knowing look. "Off your back, beautiful. I want a day out with you." Leaving her in her desperately soaked state, I turn on my heel and head off down the hall. I can hear her mumbling to herself and it only makes me smile harder. _She can be adorable when she isn't in control._ I know she's pouting, but the longer she pouts, the longer she will wait.

* * *

An hour later, I find myself in the elevator with Arizona beside me. She hasn't said much regarding my teasing a little while ago, but I know it's all she is thinking about. She offered to shower with me, but I turned her down...then she got onto the subject of sex toys, and I didn't want to know. I mean, I'm all for adding things into the mix, but right now my focus is on her and her desperate need to get off since I got her a little wound up before. She hates this. She hates not knowing what is coming. She hates the fact that she isn't in control of the situation. Me, on the other hand, well...I'm loving every minute of it.

The elevator reaching the lobby, we both step out and she lets go of my hand. A look of confusion settling on my face, I simply follow behind her and make a mental note to call her out on that later. Now isn't the time for it. There are far too many people milling about, and I'm sure John doesn't want to see is bickering. "Good morning, Miss Robbins. I see you have got your car out front."

"I have, John." Giving him a smile, she slips him some cash and he tips his hat to her. "Have a pleasant day."

"Miss Minnick." He smiles as I move past him.

"Hey, John." Giving him a wave, I step out onto the sidewalk with Arizona and she stops dead "Whoa there." Crashing into her back, she turns around and raises an eyebrow.

"Okay, which one?"

"Which one what?" I furrow my brow.

"Which one is mine?" Eying the line of cars, I give her a smirk. "You don't know, do you?" She asks, a little cocky.

"That one looks like your kinda model." Shrugging, I point to the Mini Cooper and her eyes widen. "Maybe the Range Rover. I can just see you in that."

"Nu-uh." She shakes her head. "You're getting a little offensive now. Watch yourself." Pointing her finger at me, I hold up my hands and give her the innocent look.

"Your key, Miss Robbins." Rich appears at her side and hands over a single key." Hitting the unlock button, her car flashes and the alarm deactivates.

"No way." My own eyes widening, I shake my head in disbelief. "We are not going out in _that!_ "

"Oh, that's a shame..." Moving a little closer to me, she places her hand against my lower stomach and brings her lips to my ear. "I thought you wanted to fuck me in it." Swallowing hard, I simply nod. My mouth agape, she slaps my cheek gently and gives me a smirk. "Wanna go on the ride of your life?"

"Mhmm." I smile. "Right now." Moving towards the black Ferrari I cannot take my eyes off, Arizona opens the door for me and I slip inside. It's low, but Jesus Christ it is the hottest thing I've ever seen. The fact that she is wearing a skirt only makes this even hotter. I'm already squeezing my thighs together and we haven't even pulled away from the sidewalk yet. Watching as she slips into the seat beside me, her skirt rides up her thighs a little and my body is aching for her.

The roar of the engine causing me to swallow hard, she drops her aviators over her eyes and gives me a smile. "Ready?"

"I was born ready!" Her car pulling away, the roar of the engine turns me on something wicked and I simply stare at the gorgeous woman beside me. "Do you have any idea how incredibly hot you look right now?"

"Better than a mini cooper, huh?" Raising an eyebrow, I bite down on my bottom lip and she drags the car around a corner. "Anywhere you wanted to go?"

"Anywhere you are going to be." I breathe out. I have to control myself for a little while longer. This ride is all I've wanted this weekend, and now we are doing it. The hot car, the hot woman, the hot life. It's kinda perfect. "Just driving is good enough for me."

"Okay…" She nods. "This feels good." She smiles as she concentrates on the road in front of her. It seems she is heading out of the city, and that is fine by me. Getting home late means a late start at the office…at least, that is what I'm expecting. "You feel it?" She asks. "How good we are together?"

"Oh, I definitely feel it." Giving her a genuine smile, she places her hand on the console, palm up. Slipping my own against it, she laces our fingers and sighs.

"I know we do all this hot teasing and back and forth, but this is what I want, Eliza. You. I want you, okay?"

"I know." I give her a slight nod. "I see that now. I'm sorry about everything that's happened, but I definitely see you as so much more than what I thought."

"Good. I'm glad." She states. "Don't get me wrong, I'm more than happy with most of my life, but I just have this one piece missing. That piece is you, Eliza."

"Yeah?" I smile.

"Yeah. For sure. Just…thank you for giving me the chance to show you that I want you for you. Every single piece of you."

"Thank you for not backing down and walking away."

"I did try." She sighs. "I really tried to just get you out of my head and leave you alone, but I couldn't. You are _so_ in my head, Eliza. Every minute of the day."

"I'm glad you failed. It means I get to enjoy you." Running my thumb over the back of her hand, she heads out of the city and the speed picks up. There is something very hot about a fast car, and honestly…I don't know how much longer I can wait to have my hands on her.

* * *

We've been driving now for a few hours. Nothing but open road and amazing views around us, my eyes are fixed on the landscape around me. Around us. It's been an awesome trip so far, and Arizona has suggested that we stop soon for a little fresh air and maybe a coffee. Shifting a little uncomfortably in her seat, I glance to my left and give her a questioning look. "Sorry, just need to get out of this seat."

"Why?" I ask. "Not comfortable."

"No." She groans as she bites down on her lip. I know that look. That look is the height of arousal. "You comfortable, though?" She raises an eyebrow.

"Mm, not really." I give her an awkward smile. "These jeans aren't really the right jeans for sitting in a car for hours."

"Yeah, you look like you need to get out of them." Her hips grinding down into her seat, I narrow my eyes and she shakes her head. "Sorry…"

"Why are you sorry?" I smirk. Hitting the gas, we burn rubber faster than we have since we got inside this amazing car, and before I know it, she is slipping off the road and we are shaded by trees. No one around for miles.

"I just…God." Rolling her eyes, she cuts the engine and turns to face me. "You are making me crazy in that low cut top."

"Oh, I am? Try sitting here looking at you in that freaking skirt." My hand resting on her knee, it ghosts down her inner thigh and she shivers under my touch. "I've wanted to touch you all day, Arizona." My hand disappearing beneath her skirt, I narrow my eyes and take my bottom lip between my teeth. "No panties?"

"No." She drops her gaze.

"Fuck, Arizona." My eyes closing as my fingers meet her soaked center, she glances up at me and her eyes have darkened like never before. "You've been thinking about this the entire journey, haven't you?" Dipping a finger into her entrance just slightly, she hisses in pleasure and her hips force up. "What am I going to do about this?"

"Uh, I don't know…but you'd better think fast before I fuck myself." Hips writhing, my hand slips up a little and I furrow my brow. "You feel that?" Her head nuzzled in the side of my neck, my hand moves even further up and I gasp in shock. "You want it?" She whispers.

"God, yes." Groaning at the idea of being fucked hard by Arizona, she pulls my hand away from her and sits up in her seat.

"Take off your pants." Her controlling behavior back again, I gladly do as she asks and she pulls a lever which reclines my own seat into an almost flat position. "Figured you'd enjoy this." She smirks as she climbs over the console and her knee comes to rest between my legs. Hiking up her skirt, the strap-on she has been secretly wearing comes into full view and my mouth runs dry. Leaning down, her lips press against my ear. "I hope you're wet because I'm going straight in, beautiful."

"Fuck." The tip of the dildo pressing against my clit, I'm more than wet. That much I can promise her. Running it up and down my center a couple of times, she glances down between our bodies and groans at the sight. "You just going to stare or are you going to take me?"

"Take you?" She raises an eyebrow. "Oh, no." She shakes her head. Lining the head up with my entrance, she lifts one of my legs and places it on her shoulder. "I'm going to fuck you like you've never been fucked before." She smiles. "Because I know it's what you want."

"Only with you." Her lips crushing into mine, her hips thrust forward and she enters me fully. "Oh fuck." My entire body on fire, I've never felt pleasure like it. I've used toys before, but this? With Arizona? This is something else. Her arms braced either side of me, she gets a rhythm going and before I know it, I'm being filled like never before. I'm being fucked like never before. Everything with her is so much different to anything I've ever experienced. I don't know if it's the idea of the power she has behind her, or the wealth she has behind her but jesus christ…she knows what she is doing. Experience is an understatement. A complete understatement. "So good." My words catching in my throat, she hits harder and deeper and I don't know if I can hold on for as long as I want to. I want to make the most of this. I want to feel like I've never felt before. I want her thrusting into me until I can no longer move. Watching her like this, her hands wrapped around my thigh as she slams home repeatedly, it's hot. It's all kinds of pure sex. Hot and dirty sex. She can be gentle when she wants to be, and that is often, but this side of her? God, I love it. Fresh arousal spilling from my core as I watch her pounding into me, she removes one hand from my thigh and runs it up my blouse. Forcing her fingers beneath my bra, she pinches at my nipple and I'm in heaven right now. Everything about this woman makes me feel alive. Wanted. Needed.

"God, you are so fucking tight." Her words more of a whisper, she closes her eyes and bites down on her bottom lip. Never letting up as she does. She's in the zone. I'm the only thing on her mind right now. "Tight and so fucking perfect." Slamming into me, my body swallows the dildo in its entirety and my head begins to spin. Her nails dragging down my stomach, she slips out of me and I groan at the loss of contact. "Don't worry, I'm not done with you yet." Her lips pressing against my own, she pulls back and glances around her car. "You think you can get to your knees?"

"I can try." It's not the biggest of cars, but I'll do anything she wants right now. I'll give her anything she wants right now. Shaking her head, she opens the door and takes a look around. There isn't a soul in sight and we are completely off the main roads right now.

"Get out." She demands. "Get out and bend over the front seat."

"Okay, that's fucking hot." I moan as I watch her stand and fix the straps of the harness around her waist a little better. The door covering the majority what is going on from one angle, I step out and bend over just like she had asked. "Like this?" Resting on the front seat on my forearms, I spread my legs and wiggle my ass. "Do you want me like this?"

"Fuck." Her fingers running up the length of my center, she moans. " Just like that." The toy once again pressing against me, I'm so wet that I can feel it slipping down the inside of my thighs. Pushing my lower back down a little, she slips back inside of me and my head instantly drops to the leather covered seat. "Look at that." She moans. "Opening yourself right up to me."

"Y-Yes." Her hands gripping onto my waist, she pulls and pushes me back and forth against the toy between her legs. "Fuck, Arizona." This position is even better than the last, and I suspect she knows that. "Deeper."

"You want more?" She stops her movements and leans her body over my back. "You _really_ want me to fuck you?"

"Yes…" I breathe out. "I want you to make me yours. Only yours."

"Mm, I thought you'd never ask." Dragging her nails down my spine, she reaches my ass and sinks her nails into it. "No going back now, beautiful."

"From what?" I question as she gives me a little time to adjust to the depth.

"From me." She states. "You're mine now." Her thrusts increasing, she once again grips my hips and slams into me repeatedly. Her moans and grunts of exertion mixing with my own cries, she moves her hands to my shoulders and forces into me impossibly deep. "You like that."

"Ugh, y-yeah," I mumble. "Fuck!" Slipping almost right out, she tightens her grip on my shoulders once more and slams into me. "Oh God." My breathing almost nonexistent, she rocks her hips into me and I know I'm close. She knows I'm close. Pretty soon, anyone within a ten-mile radius will know I'm close. "Don't stop, Arizona. Please, don't stop." Every thrust sending me closer to the edge, my hand weaves between my legs and I find my clit. Throbbing and swollen like never before, I draw circles with my fingers and Arizona slows a little.

"You're squeezing it so good right now. You're so close, huh?"

"Yes, fuck. Harder, Arizona. Please…just fuck me harder." My words spurring her on, she herself is becoming more breathless by the second.

"What if I wanted to stop?" She teases. "What if I've had enough?"

"Oh, please don't." I cry as my orgasm approaches. "Please let me come, Arizona. Please?"

"You wanna come pretty bad, huh?" Pulling back, the dildo almost slips out of me and I hold my breath. _Please don't do this. Please don't stop._ God, I need this. I need this right now. Expecting her to pull out completely, my body is shocked when she slams into me again and thrusts like never before. My own fingers working my clit, I know I'm about to fall to my knees. I know I'm not going to be able to hold myself up like I currently am. My vision is going darker. My body is burning. My nerve endings are screaming. "Come for me, baby. I wanna feel you come. I wanna see you come." Slamming in and out of me, my vision goes black and an almighty scream rips from my throat. I have no words. I have nothing to give her. Her skin smacking against my own, the sound of my arousal is all I can hear. That, and Arizona's breathing. "Fuck, Eliza." My center squeezing the toy, Arizona struggles to move inside of me. "You are the tightest I've ever had. Ever felt." Her words catching in her throat a little, she grinds the toy against her own center and a whimper slips from her lips. "Shit. That was something else."

"A-And that's exactly how it's going to stay." I moan as she slows her pace but doesn't pull out. Pulling back slightly, my walls force the toy out of me, and I groan at the loss. I don't want it to end. I don't want this to ever end. Trying to control my breathing, I stand on shaky legs and turn, rest back against the car. "I-I, uh…" Puffing out a deep breath, I lift my gaze and find deep blue. "You've no idea what you do to me."

"I didn't hurt you, did I?" Concern now on her face, she steps closer to me and covers my body with her own. "Are you okay?"

"Me? Oh, I'm more than okay." Pulling her in, my lips press against her own and she moans into my mouth. "I certainly didn't expect it, though."

"What did you expect?" She asks, her eyebrow raised.

"Anything but you fucking me in those heels with a strap-on." I mean, why be shy about it now? "You are _the_ hottest woman I've ever met, Arizona, but that was off the scale."

"Glad I could give you what you wanted." She smirks as her lips find my own again. "Now, how about we cover that beautiful body of yours and go grab some dinner? I know I've worked up an appetite."

"Mm, the perfect end to the perfect day."

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Sorry I didn't update this fic yesterday. Thanks for your patience.**


	13. Chapter 13

**I own nothing. All characters/storylines belong to Shonda. I'm simply 'borrowing' them.**

* * *

Chapter Thirteen

* * *

ARIZONA'S POV

* * *

Wow, this day has been something else. I mean, I can please a woman like the best of them, but that was on a whole other level. That was truly connecting. To some it may seem like nothing but hot sex, but to me…it was different. Eliza, too…I think. Not just anybody allows you to please them in that way. It takes trust. It takes a whole amount of trust to do what I've just done. I wasn't even sure she would go for it if I'm totally honest. I was winging it, and thankfully, it paid off. I expected her to shoot me down the second she knew what was happening. I expected her to laugh at me. She didn't, though. She didn't, and that meant so much to me. I may sound selfish, but it was what I needed. After everything that has happened between us, I needed to test that boundary. I needed to know that she was willing to give herself to me, and she did. She _so_ did. I wouldn't have ever forced her into it, but I still expected a little resistance from her. Not the reaction I got. It took her all of two seconds to give me the okay, and wow! It's the only word I have to describe it. It really is.

I'm sitting at a table at one of my favorite restaurants, and Eliza is using the bathroom right now. Her not being here has given me the chance to think about the day we've had, and it really truly has been amazing. It isn't even just about the sex. Just from the moment she woke, she has been teasing, but kind and honest. We had that little talk while we were out driving, and it's only made me want to be around her more. Knowing that she sees me as something totally different to how she first perceived me, it makes me feel so much better going into this with her. I don't want her to have to feel less. I don't ever want her to think that. It couldn't be further from the truth.

Watching her make her way back towards me, I sip on my glass of red and she settles back down in her seat. "You okay?"

"Yeah." Giving me a smile, she pulls her chair in a little closer to the table and rests her elbows. Clasping her hands under her chin, she doesn't take her eyes off of me. "Thank you for dinner."

"Thank you for joining me for dinner." Leaning in a little closer, I take her hands in my own and she tenses a little. "Is everything okay?" My brow furrowed, she drops her gaze and her hands slip from my own. Glancing around, I can see her anxiety creeping to the forefront of her mind, so I pull back too. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that." My apology is genuine but I wish I didn't have to be so careful around her. I mean, she's in another city. I doubt anyone she knows is going to catch her holding my hand. _That's what I'd love._ I'd love to walk home holding her hand. My arm wrapped around her waist. Kiss her in Central Park during the fall.

"It's okay." She sighs. "I'm the one who should be apologizing."

"Why?" I ask, a little confused.

"I'm the one who is making us do this secretly. Not you…"

"But I told you I would, Eliza. It's hard, and not what I'm used to at all…but I can do that for you." I smile and almost take her hand again. _Damn it!_ "Did you want dessert?"

"No, that was plenty, thank you," I call for the bill and settle back in my seat. We only have a short walk home. I took the car back to the lock-up before we came out to dinner. This Italian is my favorite and I'm glad Eliza enjoyed it. Maybe, one day down the line, we will really be able to enjoy it. I am the holding hand's type. The kissing in public type. It's just how I've always been. It will be a little hard to avoid all of that with her because it comes so naturally to me, but given a little time…I'll have it perfected. _Wow, that sounds great. Perfecting avoiding your girlfriend._ Maybe I shouldn't think like that just yet. I mean, I've just thought of her as my girlfriend and we haven't even had that conversation yet. "Can I take the bill?" She asks.

"No, I've got it." Waving off her comment, I hand my credit card over and the waiter thanks me. Glancing up, she doesn't look happy but I don't care. I'm past caring. If I want to buy her dinner, I will. "Eliza…" I give her a knowing look and she rolls her eyes at me. "Don't do that."

"Do what?"

"Look, I'm not trying to take over and pay for things, okay?" Raising an eyebrow, she shrugs. "I asked _you_ to join _me_ for dinner. So, I pick up the bill. When _you_ ask _me_ to dinner, I'll be happy to let you pay, okay?"

"Okay." She breathes out. I can see that she is sorry for the way she has just behaved but it's not really a big deal. I'm paying for dinner, and that's the end of it. "Can we go?" She asks.

"Sure. Was there anything else you wanted to do before we headed back to my place?"

"No. I just…I figured I'd head home tonight, though." Standing, she grabs her purse and leaves the waiter a tip. Slipping her jacket on, she waits for me to stand and join her but I'm too busy trying not to pout right now. _Why is she going home?_ "Are you coming, or?"

"Sure." I clear my throat. "Did you want me to walk you to your place?"

"That would be nice. If you wouldn't mind." She smiles. Following her out onto the street, New York is as busy and bustling as ever. I love watching the people come and go and enjoy their evening. I just wish I was about to continue to be one of those people for the night. I know we were only supposed to be heading back to my place, but still...I enjoy Eliza's company. I _really_ enjoy her company. "I've had a great day today, Arizona. Thank you."

"I'm happy you enjoyed it." I give her a smile and shove my hands into the pockets of my jacket. I don't know what else to do with them because I can't hold her hand. "So, I'll see you tomorrow morning at the office?"

"Sure you will." She confirms. "9 am?"

"Sure, if that's okay with you." I nod.

"Arizona, you are my boss…you tell me what time I'm due in." She nudges my arm and I give her a small smile. "So, what time?"

"9 am."

"Okay. So, this is me…as you already know." Pulling me in for a hug, she steps back and gives me a smile. "Thank you for the perfect day. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Yeah, s-see you tomorrow."

* * *

I've been home for a few hours now, and I hate it. I've never hated my condo, but tonight…I do. I do because Eliza isn't in it with me. _Get a grip, Robbins._ I've never been like this. I've never craved another woman's attention so bad that I sit and pout all night. Never. It's not me. At least, it never used to be. Clearly, something has gone wrong somewhere because right now, I feel lost.

She called me her boss. I know I am. I remember employing her, but that doesn't mean I want her to see me as her boss first, and anything else second. That's not how I want it to work. I want her to see me as more than her boss and something else on the side. I've thought about going over to her place, but I think she wants a little space. _Fuck!_ What if my antics today in the car have put her off and she was just trying not to hurt my feelings there and then by saying she didn't want that?

Shit… I've totally messed this up. She was fine this morning. She wanted to be at my place. She woke with a smile on her face. So, that only leave one conclusion…the drive. The drive and everything that came with it. I have to see her. I have to make this right. I have to apologize. I should, right? Of course, I should. Grabbing my keys from the counter, I internally chastise myself for sending Rich home for the night. _Give the guy a break, Arizona. He has a family._ Closing my door behind me, I bit the elevator and step inside. _What if she is going to call this off?_ Oh god, I have a bad feeling about this. Us. Whatever we are.

Reaching the lobby, I quickly make my way out onto the street and take a right. It's only a short walk, but it's still going to take too long to get there. The longer I spend in my own head, the longer I have to make myself more anxious than I already am.

After what seems like forever, I reach Eliza's apartment block and I head straight up. I don't like the fact that I can do so, but it makes life easier for me right now. Stepping into the waiting elevator, I hit the button that will take me to the third floor and I tap my foot against the tiled carriage. _This is a bar idea. Head back down and go home._ At least if I don't go to her door, I can't be shot down. I can't be let go. I can't be left. _No, you have to do this now._ I'll never sleep tonight if I don't know what we are.

The bell signaling my arrival, I step out into the hall and make my way down to her apartment door. A dim light shining through the gap at the bottom, I knock lightly and hear a little movement. The door opening, Eliza furrows her brow.

"First, I don't like the security in this place. I've just walked on in and I could have been anyone, and second, am I just your boss? Like, is that above everything else? I need to know, because if it is…I need to not be your boss. I need to not be above you. I need to be your girlfriend first and foremost."

"Arizona, I…"

"You what?" I ask.

"Come inside." Stepping inside, she closes the door behind us and gives me a sad smile. "I'd love nothing more than to be your girlfriend. It's all I want in life. You know…someone who I can just be myself with. Someone who makes me happy. Someone who I can cry to and laugh with. Someone who just gets me."

"So what's the problem then?"

"I can't do that to you." She sighs. "I can't lead you on like that only for it to crumble around us down the line. And it will. It will all turn to shit and _you_ will be the one left hurt. Me, I'll be hurt, too, but I'll be waiting for the day for it to happen. I'll expect it. So, I cannot be your girlfriend."

"I messed up today, didn't I? I hurt you. You didn't want that from me." My voice breaking, she steps a little closer to me and takes my hand in her own. "I'm sorry, I never meant to hurt you."

"You didn't." She smiles as she runs her thumb across the back of my hand. "You could never hurt me. It was amazing."

"Then I don't understand where I've gone wrong. I don't understand why you don't want to be more with me."

"I do, Arizona. You have to believe that." She shakes her head and drops her gaze. "One day this will all come out and it will be a mess. You have a perfect life. You're openly gay. You are proud of who you are. Me? I don't have that. I don't have people I can talk to about you. I don't have anyone I can show you off to. I can't tell anyone how amazing you are or how much you make my world spin."

"But you don't have to do any of those things." I counter. "We can just continue as we are."

"For how long?" She gives me a sad smile. "One day, you won't want to live a secret life with me. One day it will become too much. It will probably even become too much for me. I cannot do that to you. You deserve someone who you can walk hand in hand down the street with. Someone you can be pictured with in the latest magazine. I cannot be that person. I hate the thought of losing you and I hate the thought of hurting you, but I don't know what to do. I don't know where we go from here…"

"I don't understand, Eliza. In the car today you thanked me for not backing down. You said you were happy with me."

"And I am."

"You're really going to have to give me some hell of an excuse as to why we can't be together because right now, I'm at a loss. I mean, I've told you I'll keep this quiet. I've told you I'm okay with it. I don't know what more confirmation you need from me. I really don't." Slumping down on the couch, I shake my head and place it in my hands. "You just aren't making any sense right now. I thought we were good. You thanked me for a perfect day just a few hours ago."

"I'm falling for you, Arizona. I'm falling for you faster than I care to admit." My eyes finding hers, I have to hold back the tears that are threatening to fall. "I'm falling for you, and I can't. I can't love you, Arizona. If I love you, I'll hurt you."

"Nobody has ever said that to me before…" My words forced out, my chest is tightening, and I'm not sure how to feel about it. "I've always made myself unlovable. It was always just easier that way." Standing, I pull her in by the waist and she studies my face. "Being around you, though…it make me want to be myself. It makes me want to be happy with someone. With you. So, when I tell you that I can be secretive, I mean it. I won't hold it against you down the line. I won't demand you come out to anyone. So long as I can fall asleep in your arms and wake beside you…I'm happy."

"Can you truly promise me that?"

"I can." I nod. "I can promise you that anything you need, I can do. Anything you want, I can give. Just…please be my girlfriend?"

"Okay." She smiles. "Do girlfriends get to stay over and stuff?"

"Oh, you better believe it." Pulling her into a kiss, she smiles against my lips and my heart rate begins to return to normal. "And for the record…" I whisper against her mouth. "I'm falling for you, too."

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Have a great weekend.**


	14. Chapter 14

**I own nothing. All characters/storylines belong to Shonda. I'm simply 'borrowing' them.**

* * *

Chapter Forteen

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ELIZA'S POV

* * *

This past week has been awesome. Amazing, even. After Arizona had come by my place, something felt different. Like, the air had been cleared a little. She asked me to be her girlfriend and honestly, I could have fallen to my knees. I never expected that from her. I never expected her to ask me that. Do I want it? Yes, more than anything. It's just not going to be as simple as I wish it could be. Arizona is a well-known figure around the world, so we have to keep things quiet. We have to avoid the touchy-feely stuff out in public. You never know who could be watching. When Jo told me who she was, I googled her and found several pictures of her papped in the street, so I know that she has photographers following her. We've agreed to avoid hand holding out on the street but we more than make up for it when we spend the evening together. She is the total opposite of what I see at the office, and it just makes this so much more special.

I know it's secretive, and I know it isn't how either of us wants to live our lives, but for the time being, it's how it has to be. Mom cannot find out I'm gay via a news channel or a magazine. I'd be worried about her coming to New York and spotting me, but she doesn't have that kind of money to travel here. I've only been here for three weeks and she has called once. That once? I ignored. I know it's terrible of me to do so, but I'm happy at the moment and I don't need her negativity in my life right now. I'd cut her out of my life, but she is my mother. I don't have anyone else. We haven't exactly had the best relationship, but she still brought me into this world, so I owe it to her to stick around.

Tapping at the keyboard in front of me, I send off one final email and settle back in my seat. "Done." I breathe out.

"You're going to have to be a little more specific, Eliza."

"I'm done." I furrow my brow as I turn to face her. "I can't really be any more specific than that."

"Like, you're finished for the day?" She glances over the top of her glasses and gives me a look of confusion. "How is that even possible?"

"Because I'm awesome at my job, Miss Robbins." Powering my screen down, I stand and move towards the window. "O'Neil is calling you tomorrow. Johnson is having three brick samples sent over Monday morning. Janine from accounts is arranging the dinner with Phillips and Mason...oh, and Don downstairs has requested a leave of absence while he attends a hospital appointment with his wife."

"Is she okay?" Arizona asks.

"I, uh...I don't know. I didn't ask."

"Oh, well keep a check on that. If he needs any more time off, have Janine give him paid leave." Her eyes flick back to the screen in front of her and I simply nod. "So, do you have anything planned for this evening?"

"Not up to now, no." Leaning against the wall, my eyes scan Central Park and a small smile settles on my face. "What time is your drinks thingy?"

"Seven." She sighs.

"It's going to be fancy, huh?"

"Yeah. The guys I'm meeting love all of that." I turn to face her and she rolls her eyes. "It's really not my kinda thing."

"I'm sure you'll have a nice evening, Arizona." Taking my blazer from the back of my chair, I shrug it on and my hair comes to fall around my shoulders. "I'm okay to leave now?"

"Sure. Go and do whatever it is you do." She smiles. "I don't know how late I'll be tonight so I don't want to invite you over only to let you down…"

"No, don't worry about it." Waving off her comment, I grab my purse and my cell from my desk. "I'll see you in the morning, okay? I'm headed home to change into my sweats. I think it's a noodles in front of the TV kind of night."

"You don't have a TV." She furrows her brow.

"I do now." I smile. "Tonight I will finally get to try it out."

"Oh, that's awesome." Removing her glasses, she stands and rounds her desk. "I'll miss you tonight." Her arms wrapping around my waist, she pulls me in close and places a soft kiss on my lips. "Do you want me to call if I'm home early?"

"I think I'll just grab an early night. Just go and enjoy yourself, Arizona. You've worked your ass off this week."

"But it's Friday…" She whispers against my lips.

"And that is exactly why you are going to go out and enjoy yourself." I smile. "I'll see you in the morning. I'll just come by whenever I'm ready, yeah?"

"Okay." She pouts. "I'll call you later." Pulling back, she steps away from me and I miss her already. I haven't even left the room and I miss her. It's been like this all week. Whenever I've realized that I won't see her, it makes me sad. It makes me want to drop whatever it is I'm doing and take her in my arms. She just makes me want to be that kind of person.

"Bye, beautiful." Opening her office door, I throw her a wink and step out into the corridor. It's going to be a long evening sitting home alone, but Arizona deserves this. She's spent every possible hour in her office this week, and yeah…she needs a break. She will go crazy if she doesn't. I know it's her job and it's her business. I know she is used to it. I just think she needs to let herself go every once in a while. She's only human like the rest of us. Human and so God damn beautiful.

* * *

Lay back on the couch, my hand is within ideal reach of the bowl of popcorn I've prepared for myself. I've been home for a little over an hour and I'm now settled and refusing to move for the rest of the night. A blanket draped over me, I can see the lights of New York shining through my window, and right now…my life is pretty damn perfect. Arizona may not be here with me, but she is still _with_ me. That's all I need to know to keep me going for the rest of the evening. A stack of movies on one end of the coffee table, I bring my steaming mug of hot chocolate up to my lips and take in the comforting aroma.

Startled by the sound of my cell buzzing against the hardwood, I set down my cup and unlock the screen.

 ** _Are you busy? I could really use your help. Arizona x_**

 ** _Not busy but also not willing to leave my cocoon. Eliza x_**

 ** _Well, that sucks. Arizona x_**

 ** _What's up, pretty lady? Eliza x_**

 ** _Needed some help with my outfit but you are settled so don't worry about it. Have a good evening. Arizona x_**

 ** _Oh, I can come by if you really need me to? Eliza x_**

 ** _Would you…._**

 ** _Sure. I'll head over soon. Eliza x_**

 ** _No need. Rich is outside your place waiting for you. Arizona x_**

 ** _Well, that was a little presumptuous of you! Eliza x_**

 ** _Just like to be organized. See you soon. Arizona x_**

Smiling at the fact that she has sent a car for me, I glance down at my choice of clothing and simply shrug. I'm too chilled out right now to care what I look like, and no matter what I change into, Arizona will still look way hotter than me. It's kinda nice that she has asked for my advice, but I'm not entirely sure that she needs it. That woman could wear anything and make it look like she has just stepped out of a photoshoot.

Pulling on some converse, I glance out the window and find Rich staring up at me. Giving him a wave, he tips his hat to me and I step back into the middle of the room. Powering off the TV, I take a quick sip from my mug and grab my keys. This baby is coming with me. It's at the perfect temperature so I'm not about to let it ruin in this dark lonely apartment. Slipping out into the hall, I lock up and head for the elevator.

Checking myself out in the mirror as it takes me down to the lower level, I realize that I look awful. My hair looks like it has been styled by a three-year-old, and my clothes are older than the freaking building I live in. _Too late to go back now. Arizona is waiting for me._ Shrugging, I step off the elevator and Rich holds the back door to his limousine open for me. "Thanks." I smile.

"No problem, Miss Minnick." He closes the door and slips into the front seat. Arizona's driver knows we are together, but he's a good guy and he has been with Arizona several years now. "Streets are quiet tonight, ma'am, so I'll have you at Miss Robbins place in no time." He calls out from the front seat.

"Don't worry." I laugh. "Arizona should have called earlier if she was in a rush."

"Yes, ma'am." He gives me a nod in agreement.

A few minutes later, I find myself pulling up outside the entrance of my girlfriend's condo block. I say block, but it's more like a skyscraper. A familiar face holding open the door for me, I give John a smile and rush inside. Arizona will kill me if she sees me walking around here dressed how I am, and right now...I want to kill me. The elevator doors opening, I hit the floor want and breathe a sigh of relief when the doors close.

Arriving at my girlfriend's private landing in no time, the door clicks and she pulls it open. Her hair pulled up and out of her face, she looks adorable. A thick cream woolen oversized jumper covering her body, I rake my eyes further down and find her lower half naked. Nothing but boy shorts. Barefoot included.

"Hey…" She smiles. "That was quick."

"You needed help, so here I am." Holding out my hands like some sort of god, she rolls her eyes and glances to my right hand. "Oh, um…it tasted too good to leave." I shrug.

"You could have brought me some hot chocolate." She whines.

"Move out of my way so I can make you look even more beautiful than you already look right now." Stepping around her, I move inside and the smell of vanilla hits me. It is the most comforting scent in the world and right now I'm struggling to concentrate on why I'm here. I just want to lie on her couch and look at the view outside. I don't want to help her choose an outfit. I don't want her to leave. I just want to be locked away in here with her for the rest of the night. _Damn it! I knew I shouldn't have come here._ "Okay, so what are you struggling with?"

"Not being with you." She whispers into my ear as her arms wrap around my waist from behind.

"Arizona…" I lean into her touch and give a slight smile. "You know I want to be here with you, but you have plans. Plans that don't include me, and I'm okay with that."

"I canceled." She admits.

"You what?" My brow furrowed, I turn in her arms and she drops her gaze. "You can't just cancel."

"Uh, I can and I did." She states as she pulls me in for a hug. "I just want to stay here with you tonight." Glancing over her shoulder, I find the fire lit and various snacks laid out on the coffee table. "It's too cold outside and this is the ideal night for just snuggling and doing nothing."

"Agreed, but you can't just cancel every time you have plans." She did this three nights ago when she was supposed to catch up with some friends who she hadn't seen since a previous project. "We have all the time in the world to be together."

"Yeah, and tonight is one of those nights." She smiles as she pulls back and narrows her eyes. "Are you saying you don't want my snuggles and my snacks?"

"Oh, no." I shake my head. "Your snuggles and snacks are what keep me going." Pulling her over to the couch, I fall down and she settles between my legs. Her back pressed against my front. "When did you cancel?"

"Before I left the office." She responds, nonchalantly. "I didn't tell you because I knew you would try to talk me out of it."

"I love this." I sigh as I make myself comfortable. "I love being here with you. Just…everything about it."

"I'm happy you feel that way." She tilts her head a little and her dimples pop. Leaning down and placing a kiss on her lips, and a silence settles over us. I do love this. I love everything about this woman. She may be professional and business-like at the office, but this is the other side of her. I can't believe I ever thought she wanted me for casual sex. I can't believe I ever thought that she didn't want this. Us. Thank God I took my head out of my ass. Thank God for Arizona. "I was thinking maybe some movies since it's pretty early, and then just relax. I don't know."

"Sounds perfect to me." I give her a nod in agreement. "You know when I'm here with you? I never want to leave."

"You know you are welcome here anytime you want, Eliza. I'm just taking this at your pace right now."

"And I appreciate that." I breathe out. "Thank you for being amazing, Arizona. Thank you for being you."

"I love a night out." She admits. "I always have. I just love to socialize."

"Okay…"

"Since meeting you, though...I never want to leave this place. I never want to be away from you. Is that annoying?" She asks. "You can totally tell me to back off and I will, but I just needed you to know that I love you being here and I love spending my evenings with you. Whether that is out to dinner or being here like this, I just love it."

"It's not annoying." I smile as I place a kiss on top of her head. "And I love being here, too."

"You'd tell me, though, if you didn't?"

"I would." I agree. "This is just all so new to me. I've never been able to just be myself like I am with you. I could never date because I couldn't date women, but when I saw you in that bar, Arizona, I just had to know you. I had to spend time with you…".

"I just want us to be happy, Eliza. However we have to do that, it doesn't matter. So long as you are comfortable and happy in yourself, that is all that matters." She has a way with words, but I can hear the honesty in them, too. I've never been as comfortable as I am right now, and I want that to continue. In an ideal world, everything would be okay and I could be openly gay, but right now that isn't possible. I have thought about calling my mom and just telling her everything, but I just want this to continue a little longer. I just want this bubble to stay intact for some more time. "You okay?" Arizona pulls me from my thoughts and glances up at me. Her fingers ghosting up and down my right knee.

"I'm more than okay, Arizona," I whisper as I pull her body back against me a little tighter. "Let's get this snuggle going, huh?"

"Mm, that would be nice."

Shifting a little, my girlfriend turns on her side and nuzzles into my chest. Hitting play, a movie plays in the background but I don't even know what it is that we are watching. I'm too engrossed in everything that is Arizona to care. Her scent. Her soft skin. Her curled hair. Her blue eyes. Those dimples.

 _Right now, my mom can go to hell for all I care. I'm happy, and surely that is all that matters. Surely, she wouldn't deny me the opportunity to be happy…._

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Sorry for the delay in updating.**


	15. Chapter 15

**I own nothing. All characters/storylines belong to Shonda. I'm simply 'borrowing' them.**

* * *

Chapter Fifteen

* * *

ARIZONA'S POV

* * *

Last night was perfect. Everything about it. Literally. I can't say I've ever really spent the night wrapped up in someone else's arms, but that has always been my own choice. It's not that I'm some cold-hearted bitch who doesn't care for love or commitment...I've just never found anyone I've wanted to do that with. It's always just been easier to be alone and focus on my career. My business. Building my empire. I've done that now, though. I've built my life, and it's pretty damn good. Sure, I have it better than most, but that doesn't change who I am. It also doesn't change the fact that I need that someone special in my life, and yeah...Eliza is pretty special. Her arm draped over my stomach, I stare out of my bedroom window and smile. It looks like it's going to be a bright day, the cool air aside. The sky is blue with not a single cloud in sight, and the is bouncing off of the buildings around me. What's not to love about this day already?

Turning on my side, my fingers trace my girlfriend's jawline and it only causes my smile to grow wider. She is an absolute beauty. Everything about her. Her soft skin. Her light breathing as she sleeps. That gorgeous dark hair that seems to go on forever. She's just breathtaking. I could watch her sleep forever and never tire of the sight she provides me with. I could spend an eternity getting wrapped up in everything that is Eliza Minnick. "Wake up, beautiful." My lips pressing against her nose, she wiggles it a little and smiles.

"Five more minutes…" Her sleep filled voice piercing my heart, I place another kiss this time just below her ear.

"As much as I'd love to spend the day in bed with you, we should get up."

"Why?" She whines. Her eyes still closed. "It's Saturday."

"I have to leave town for a few days tomorrow…" Her eyes shooting open, I give her a sad smile. "Figured that would get your attention."

"I didn't know. It wasn't on your schedule for the month." She furrows her brow but she is right. It wasn't on my schedule.

"I had to use the bathroom a little while ago." I smile. "My cell caught my attention, and I had an email from one of my contractors. Some things need overseeing at one of my projects. I'm sorry."

"Oh, okay." She drops her gaze and the disappointment is clear to see. "How long will yo-" The sound of her cell piercing through the air, she cuts herself off and climbs from the bed. "Sorry, just give me one moment."

"Mom?" She gives me a smile and leaves the bedroom. "No, I've been crazy busy. I was going to call but I just haven't had the time." Hearing her sigh, I climb from the bed and pull on a hoodie. "What? No. You can't just do that, mom. I have a job and commitments here. You said we would discuss it when I came home at Christmas." Furrowing my brow, I know I shouldn't be listening, but I'm intrigued. "I have to work, mom. No, I'm not doing that."

Stepping out into the kitchen, Eliza has a look of horror on her face. Mouthing 'are you okay' to her, she shakes her head and drops her gaze. "Mom, I have to go." She sighs. "No, I'm not avoiding you but I have things to do so I have to go. Yeah, fine...whatever." Cutting the call, Eliza throws her cell down on the kitchen counter and braces herself against it.

Stepping a little closer to her, I place my hand on the small of her back and her shoulders begin to shake. "Hey, are you okay? What's up?"

"God, this is such a fucking mess." She cries. Turning her in my arms, she wraps her own around my waist and places her head in the crook of my neck. "I don't know what I'm supposed to do." Her grip around me tightening, she holds onto me like I'm about to walk away from her. There is no way I'm doing that. "You don't need this shit that I've brought with me."

"Eliza, look at me…"

Her sad but beautiful green eyes finding my own, I wipe away her tears and she leans into my touch. "I'm so sorry."

"First, you are going to stop crying, and then we are going to sit down and talk about that phone call...okay?" Raising an eyebrow, I dip my head a little and place a soft kiss on her perfect lips. "Come on." Pulling her over to the window seat, she slumps down and brings her knees up to her chest. Something has happened and I can see that it has really gotten to her. "Baby, talk to me…" Her eyes shooting up, she gives me a slight smile at the term of endearment that has just slipped from my lips. "S-Sorry." I blush.

"Don't be." She takes my hands in her own and drops her knees. "I love that."

"Yeah?" Giving her a questioning look, she nods and I settle back at the opposite end of the window. Glancing out over Central Park, I run my fingers through my hair and prepare myself for what is about to come. "What did your mom say?"

"She's set a date." My heart dropping into my stomach, the realization and the seriousness of her life back in Detroit has just hit me like never before. I don't even know how to respond to what she has just said. I don't even know how to feel about it. I mean, I know Eliza is mine, but there is some poor innocent guy caught up in this too. "Arizona?" Pulling me from my thoughts, I turn to face her and give her a sad smile. "Tell me what you are thinking…"

"Honestly, I don't know." I sigh. "When is the big day?"

"She said she would give me the details when she arrives here next weekend."

"Next weekend?" I swallow. "I-I…"

"You what?" She gives me a worrying look but I give her a squeeze of the hand to reassure her.

"I won't be able to see you for like a week." The sadness of that comment sinking into us both, I drop my gaze and toy with her fingers. "The weekends are ours." I breathe out.

"I'm sorry."

"You aren't actually going to go through with this, are you?"

"No." She shakes her head. "I'm not that desperate to please my mother."

"Look, I'm not judging you, but um...have you been sleeping with him?"

"Thankfully, Peter believes in no sex before marriage." Laughing, I can see that she is trying to make light of the situation. "He's a really nice guy, but I don't want this Arizona. I don't want him."

"Then you have to be honest with your mom, Eliza. I know I told you I wouldn't force you into any decisions, but I think you can agree that this just got a whole lot more serious, no?"

"I know it has." She nods in agreement. "But I'm scared, Arizona. So freaking scared."

"Okay, so you are 25 Eliza. She cannot force you into anything anymore. Sure, she will freak out and maybe you won't be able to reason with her, but look at you right now." Glancing up at me, she simply shrugs. "You don't deserve to be anything other than happy."

"It's all I want…" she breathes out and I can hear the pure honesty in that simple wish for her future. "With you, It's all I want."

"Are you serious about us, Eliza? Like, really serious?"

"Of course, I am." She scoffs.

"Hey, I didn't mean it like that. I'm just trying to allow you to see how much you need to fix this. This won't just go away, beautiful. It isn't going to disappear the longer you stay in New York. You know that...we both do."

"Can I take a shower? I just need a few minutes to myself."

"You don't even have to ask." I smile. "I'll fix us up some breakfast while you take a little time to yourself, okay?"

"That would be nice." Standing, she gives me a small smile and her shoulders slump a little.

"Not so fast." Catching her wrist as she moves past me, I stand and pull her body into my own. "Please try not to worry. I know it's easy for me to say that, but I'm here for you...always."

"Thank you." Running my thumb across her cheek, her eyes close and she hums in appreciation. "It means a lot." Releasing her from my grip, she sighs and makes her way through my condo.

 _God, I wish I could just fix this._ I'm a fixer. I always like to be solving people's problems and issues. It's just something within me that I cannot control. I just hope that Eliza trusts me enough to turn to me when she needs to. Because she will. I know this is about to blow up, but she shouldn't have to deny who she is simply because her mom doesn't like it. Nobody should have to live that way.

* * *

Eliza has been pretty silent since she returned from her shower, and honestly…I'm not quite sure how to initiate a conversation right now. I'd thought about a few things while I was making breakfast, but this isn't really my place to get involved. Do I want to? Yes. Yes, more than anything. I just don't think it's a good idea. I'd love nothing more than to meet Eliza's mom and tell her how I feel about her daughter, but I know that is never going to happen. If she really cannot tell her, then I just have to be okay with that. What I'm not okay with, though, is the idea of her getting married to a guy she has no feelings for whatsoever. It must hard for her, and I get that, but she cannot live her entire life as a lie. She is better than that. She deserves so much more than that.

Playing with her food, I can see that she is thinking about things. I just want to know what is on her mind. I want to know how she is feeling. Even if she hasn't made a decision, which I doubt she has…I just want her to talk to me. Be honest with me. "You not feeling that pancake?" She glances up at me and gives me a small smile. "Maybe some fruit instead?" Picking up the bowl of fresh fruit I've prepared, she shakes her head. "Okay." I nod.

"I'm sorry. I don't think I'm going to be much fun to be around today."

"Who said I was looking for fun?" I raise an eyebrow but she doesn't give me much. "How was your shower?"

"Wonderful." A hint of sarcasm in her voice, I drop my fork down on my plate and stand. Pouring some fresh coffee, I hand her a cup and she gives me a thankful smile. _Wow, she really isn't feeling this today._ I can't blame her. I'd probably feel the same way if I was in that position. "Maybe I should just head home…"

"If that's what you want to do, okay, but don't think that I want you to go." Stepping a little closer to her, she glances up at me and I wrap my arms around her from behind. "I'm happy to spend the day with you here. Just…don't leave, okay?"

"Why are you okay with this mess?" She asks, her body leaning back against my own. "I mean, why are you prepared to stick around even though you know about the hell I live?"

"Because you matter to me, Eliza."

"But is that enough?" She asks and I release her from my grip. "Will I always be enough like this?"

"If it has to be that way, yes." Taking a seat beside her, I bring my coffee up to my lips and take a small sip. The warmth spreading through my body, she narrows her eyes and I simply shrug. "You will always be enough regardless of the situation."

"What do you see in me, Arizona?"

"Wow, um…I see a lot in you. I see your beauty. How hard you work. The determination to make a better life for yourself here. Which by the way, isn't an easy task. You just ooze everything I could ever want in a partner. A girlfriend. I see your honesty about your upbringing, but I also see the love you have to offer. That cute, snuggly, cannot live without kind of love…and that is the one thing I need in my future. I don't know about you, but I see everything you have to offer." A tear slipping down her face, I give her a sad smile and wipe it away. "Please don't cry."

"I'm sorry." She sighs. "I'm just so scared to lose you."

"You aren't going to lose me, Eliza. I'm not going anywhere." Giving her the complete truth, her eyes brighten a little and I feel a little more settled. "I also see a future with you."

"What future?" She scoffs. "We cannot stay locked up in here forever."

"It won't be forever," I state.

"Oh yeah? How can you be so sure of that?" She furrows her brow.

"Because I also see your bravery, and I know that one day, you will tell your mom the truth, and no matter the outcome, you will still come home to me every night."

"How do you do that?" She asks. "How do you always make me feel so confident about myself and my situation? How do you make me feel calmer when my head is a complete mess?"

"Because it's the truth." I smile. "The complete truth."

"If this all goes wrong, can you be that person who I turn to?"

"You know I can and you know I _will_ be that person." I nod. "Unless you tell me you don't want me. You don't want us…I'll be here waiting for you every day, Eliza."

"Who'd have thought, huh?" She laughs. "That day I walked into your office, I had just told you to delete my number. I told you I never wanted to see you again. Then you just got inside my head, and even if I had truly wanted you out of my life…I don't think I could have stopped myself. I couldn't have kept myself away."

"Thank God you didn't." I sigh. "Now, I know this week is going to be crazy for you...you know, with the impending arrival of your mom and all, but I have to go away."

"I know." She gives me a sad smile. "It's just for a few days, though, right? I'm sure I'll find something to keep me busy."

"Oh no…" I shake my head. "You really think you are getting out of work that easily?"

"Um...you're the one who is leaving. It's not my fault that my place of work is your office."

"You should head home…" Rounding the counter, I grab our empty plates and load them into the dishwasher. "You'll need to pack."

"Pack what?" Giving me a complete look of confusion, I hit the power button on the radio and a little light music plays through the kitchen.

"You're coming with me." I shrug. "You _are_ my assistant, after all, Eliza. I could use you there with me." I can see her trying to figure this out but she's going far too slow for my liking. "Business trip? Remember…"

"Don't be a smart ass, Arizona. It doesn't suit you at all."

"Hawaii," I state. "I'm flying out to Hawaii tomorrow, and you are coming with me."

"Oh, I don't think so." She shakes her head. _Okay, not the response I expected._ "Whilst you may have a wardrobe to suit whatever country or climate you require on any given day…I don't. Nor do I have time to go out and buy stuff."

"Sure you do." I smile. "Today we head out and pick up a few essentials. You know, bikinis. Maybe a new set of sunglasses because well, it would be rude not to. Then we come back here and we pack. It's really as simple as that."

"I don't have any cash. Or a plane ticket. Or any freaking clothes, Arizona."

"Ah, but that's where I come in," I smirk as I round the counter and wrap my arms around her waist. "Before you freak out, this is business. The company pays for your flight…and mine. Well, the fuel for the private yet, whatever."

"Private jet!" She shrieks. "Holy shit!"

"So, anyway…" I roll my eyes. "I may or may not have purchased a few things for you this past week. It's not me trying to buy you everything, but I like to buy gifts. Blame my mom. It's all her quality that she passed on to me." Taking her by the hand, I guide her through the living room and towards the bedroom. "Now, again…don't freak. Please?"

"Okay." She nods. A slight smile on her face.

"These are for you." Pulling a tonne of bags from my walk-in wardrobe, her eyes widen and she attempts to speak. "I was online, and I saw this stuff…and well, I know how amazing you will look in it all, so I had to buy it. It's not much. But yeah, it's yours and you are not allowed to give it back, okay? If you do, I'll be offended and I really don't want to be offended by you...so take them. I mean, you might not even like any of it. Or they could be the wrong sizes. I know they're not because I may have checked your clothes that you have here, but it's just...it's something and nothing. A gift. For you. You'll look hot, and-and I know, you hate me now but I don't care because I want you to have this stuff."

"Has anyone ever told you how cute you are when you ramble?"

"Oh, kiss my ass." I laugh.

"Gladly." She smirks. "It's a fine ass after all." Opening the bags she has just set down on my bed, she begins to go through them one by one before turning back to me with a smile on her face. "Well, fuck me! I'm going to Hawaii."

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome as always.**


	16. Chapter 16

**I own nothing. All characters/storylines belong to Shonda. I'm simply 'borrowing' them.**

* * *

Chapter Sixteen

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ELIZA'S POV

* * *

Wow, that shopping trip was an experience. I can't say I've ever really shopped for myself. At least, not like I just have. Arizona was literally throwing things at me. At one point, I think the assistant expected us to just have sex in the middle of the store. Every other word that left my girlfriend's lips was either 'hot' or 'ugh'. I think she may have gotten carried away once or twice. Especially when I found myself standing at the back of the store with thirteen bikinis. Very very small bikinis. Honestly, I don't own a bikini. I've never been anywhere other than Poland or Detroit. Sure, I've added New York to my list, but still…I don't know what to expect since this is totally new to me. Arizona doesn't know this, and she doesn't really need to, so I'll play along and try to hide my shock when we step off the private jet. Yup, I still haven't gotten over the fact that she has a private jet. She said something about sharing it with a close friend, but still…none of my close friends share methods of transport with me like that. What am I expecting from this trip? Honestly, I've no idea. I mean, I'm guessing it's going to be hot and beautiful, but I witness that on a daily basis having Arizona in my life.

I'm currently sat in the back of the limousine, and right now…I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be. I didn't fall for Arizona because of her money or her status. I fell for her because I found her intriguing and drop-dead gorgeous. Like, all breath leaving my body kinda gorgeous. She clearly didn't fall for me because of my money, either, since I don't actually have any. A slight laugh leaving my throat, I forget where I am for a second and she glances my way. "Sorry."

"What's so funny?" She furrows her brow.

"Oh, my entire life since I moved here," I state. "I was just reminding myself of who I am and that it's kinda hilarious that I'm where I am right now."

Taking my hand in her own, she runs her thumb over the back of my hand and gives me a dimpled smile. _Another reason I fell for her._ "There is nothing funny about you or your life, beautiful."

"Mm, I beg to differ." My eyes fixed on the people of New York, the car takes a left and her condo comes into sight. "Ah, finally…home." Cringing at the words as they leave my mouth, I close my eyes and pray to God she didn't hear that.

"Mmhmm, home." She sighs. "Remind me to shop with you more often. It's so much more fun than doing it online." _Thank God she didn't take that the wrong way._ "So, what do you plan to do once we get _home._ " _Shit, she did hear me right._

"Um, I have some laundry to do, and I'll probably just pack before I head over to your place in the middle of the freaking night."

"Oh, that sucks." She shrugs.

"What does?"

"Figured you weren't going back to _the_ apartment tonight. With you saying we were back here, I just...sorry. Never mind."

"Oh, I just meant that we are finished for the day. You are home and I'll soon be home." I give her an awkward smile and she simply nods. She looks a little deflated, and it hurts my heart. "I guess there is no reason to go back to my place, though."

"Really?" She smiles.

"Well, I don't exactly have anything at my place that I'd take away with me, so yeah…"

"I have spare suitcases." She grins. "Many to choose from."

"Yeah, I bet you do." Laughing, she rolls her eyes playfully and we come to a stop outside her place. Thanking Rich, he steps out and opens the door for us to exit his luxury vehicle. John calls for people to come and take our bags from us but Arizona waves them away. Handing them both tips, we head for the elevator and step inside. Stepping a little closer to her, I place a soft kiss below her ear and she smiles. "Thank you."

"For what?" She furrows her brow.

"For all of this." Glancing down between us, I eye the bags we have accumulated during our shopping trip and she simply shrugs.

"No need to thank me. This is what happens when you stop resisting, Eliza. There's so much more where this came from."

"Oh, I think this is plenty, Arizona."

"Yeah, we'll see about that, beautiful." The elevator stopping at her floor, she takes her keys and swipes us inside. "After you…" Allowing me to pass, that scent of vanilla hits me and it tells me I'm home. _I wish I were home._ "How about I order some dinner in while you go and unpack to repack?"

Dropping our bags, I pull her in by the waist and my lips instantly find hers. Moaning into my mouth as I run my tongue across her bottom lip, I smirk and she tightens her grip on my hips. This could quickly get out of hand, and as much as I'd love that, we simply don't have the time. "Mm...maybe you should just take me to bed." She groans as her hands find my ass.

"Don't tempt me." Pulling back, her eyes are darker than ever but I have to control myself, and her. She has terrible willpower when it comes to antics in the bedroom so I have to be the stronger one of us. "Maybe some Italian?" I raise an eyebrow.

"You want to roll around in bed with an Italian?" Her brow furrowed, I slap her shoulders but she's lost. "You don't look into that kinda thing…"

"Into what?" I give her an incredulous look.

"Threesomes." She states like it's the obvious thing we are talking about.

"Uh, I've never thought about it but why the hell do I not _look_ into it?" I ask. "How would you know, anyway?"

"No reason." She shrugs as she releases me from her grip. "So, I'm going to assume you were talking about dinner?"

"I was." I narrow my eyes. "But don't you dare change the subject."

"It was never the subject." Rounding the counter, she grabs her cell and dials a number into the keypad. "I just totally misjudged the conversation, sorry."

"Wait!" Holding up my hand, she glances up and stares at me. "You have, haven't you?"

"I have what?" She scoffs.

"Don't play stupid, Arizona." Giving her a smirk, I climb up onto the kitchen island and take a seat. "You so have!"

I can see the blush creeping up her neck but I don't make a comment. She clears her throat and drops her gaze while I don't take my eyes off of her. "Italian, or no?"

"Oh yes." I nod. "And a nice bottle of red while we discuss your bedroom preferences."

" _You_ are my bedroom preference, Eliza. That is all you need to know. Trust me." Arizona is no stranger to lots of sex, but I imagine she has some amazing stories. Experiences. Whatever you want to call it. A threesome, though? I cannot imagine that.

"I know I am." I shrug. "Doesn't mean I'm not intrigued, though."

"Okay, leave…" she states. "I cannot concentrate with you sitting on my counter like that.

"Like what?" I furrow my brow. "Oh, I bet this has seen some action, huh?" I can see that she is trying to hold back a laugh, but I push a little further. "I mean, it's pretty sturdy."

"Yes, It is." She agrees. "Now, get your ass off of it before I drag you down myself."

"Mm...is that a threat?" I tease. Stepping closer to me, she stands between my legs and gives me a smile. Pulling me in closer, her fingertips drag down my thighs and it sends a shiver down my spine. "That feels good, mm."

"Yeah?" She smirks as she runs them beneath my shirt. "You like that?"

"I do." My body shivering again, her hands suddenly disappear and I've never been so disappointed. "Hey! That was cruel."

"I know...but your luggage won't pack itself, Eliza. Beat it!" Pouting, I climb down from her kitchen counter and slump my shoulders. "Stop pouting." She calls out as I disappear around the corner. She knows I'm playing with her, but I was still enjoying what she was starting. So was my body.

* * *

I've been sat staring at the last piece of focaccia bread for the past ten minutes. Arizona has made no attempt to eat it and I don't want to look like the pig out of the two of us, but the food is just so damn good. Probably the best I've ever tasted. _Oh, who am I kidding?_ It _is_ the best food I've ever tasted. "Take it, Eliza." Arizona's words Pulling me from my daydream, I glance up at her and she gives me a smile. "Please, have it. If I eat anymore, I'll never get into my bikinis."

 _Oh god._ The realization that I've probably worn a bikini once in my entire life hitting me like a tonne of bricks, I swallow hard and Arizona notices immediately. She's trying to read me, but I'm too busy sitting here horrified to let her in on my thoughts. "Do I have to wear a bikini?" I ask.

"Um, what kind of question is that?" She holds a fork full of food in her mouth and gives me a look of confusion. "You don't _have_ to do or wear anything, Eliza."

"Okay." I breathe out. "Just...not sure it's my thing is all."

"Oh really?" She raises an eyebrow. "Shame because they would look amazing on you." I'm not generally insecure with my body, but something is preventing me from wanting to show it off to Arizona whilst we are in Hawaii. It's different. When we are in the bedroom, her focus is on me but it's a different kind of focus.

"What if I look fat?" My words barely above a whisper, she drops her fork to the plate and her eyes shoot up. "What?" I shrug. "I've never laid on a beach sunbathing, Arizona. I've never taken a vacation."

"Well, that's about to change." She scoffs. "And as for your body? It's amazing. It's beautiful. It's perfect. It's just...you."

"Yeah?" I ask, a slight smile on my lips.

"Damn right." She nods. "I'd want you on a beach next to me regardless of your body type. Don't ever forget that." Taking a final fork full of food, I push my plate away and bring my red wine up to my lips. "Don't ever forget how beautiful you are...okay?"

"Okay." My smile growing wider, she shakes her head and steps away from the table. "But you'll tell me if I look stupid?"

"You won't look stupid, Eliza." Giving me a hard glare, I know she is right. This is just all kinds of weird. _All kinds._

"I just need to make a quick call, okay?"

"Sure. Do what you've got to do." She nods. "I'll just get this cleared up."

"Want me to help first?" I ask.

"No." She waves me away. "Make your call. I've got this." Slipping off into the bedroom, my cell in hand, I take a seat on the edge of Arizona's bed and bring up my contacts list. Hitting my moms number, I wait for the call to connect.

"Eliza?"

"Hi, mom."

"What's the problem?" She asks a little cold.

"Um…there isn't one." I furrow my brow. "Does there have to be one, or?"

"Don't be smart with me." Rolling my eyes, I grit my teeth and look out over Central Park. The view calming me instantly, I clear my throat.

"I won't be available this week, so if you plan to call me, expect to get my voicemail." If she wants to be a cold-hearted bitch, I will too. "I have to go away on a business trip."

"Business trip?" She scoffs. "You're nothing more than someone's assistant."

"Yeah, I know." _Why does she always insist on making me feel like crap?_ Why can't she just be a normal mom like everyone else? I'll bet Arizona's mom is nice and supportive of her daughter. Mine? Nope. Never. "Since I'm just an assistant, you won't be getting your grand wedding, will you?"

"Oh, you will, Eliza." She states. "Don't you be wasting that pay in New York. You need every dollar."

"Mom…" I sigh. "Why do you think I never set a date myself? Why do you think I moved out here?" I can't do this anymore. I'm tired of lying and trying to please my mother. If she doesn't like my decisions or my choices, she will have to deal with it herself.

"Because you couldn't afford a wedding yet!" Her words hard and harsh, a slight chuckle leaves my throat. "What's so funny?".

"You mom. _You_ are hilarious." I laugh. "This isn't happening. I'm not marrying Peter. He's a lovely guy, but he's not for me."

"Are you sleeping with your boss?" She asks. _Oh, if only you knew…_ "Is he taking advantage of you? I'll bring Peter with me. He will put him in his place."

"She, mom. My boss is a woman."

"Oh, well that's okay then." She breathes a sigh of relief.

"It is?" I ask, a slight hint of sarcasm in my voice. "You're sure about that?" I'm miles away. She can't exactly hurt me.

"What the hell does that mean?" She yells. "Eliza, if I have to come to New York and drag you back here…I will."

"Mm, I'm sure you'd love that." I agree. "Like I said, I won't be available this week, so any arrangements for your trips will have to be decided by you. I'll be out of town. Bye, mom." Ending the call, I turn to find Arizona standing in the doorway.

"Sorry, I was wondering if you wanted another glass of red?"

"Oh yes." I nod. "A large one."

"Everything okay in here?" She raises her eyebrow.

"Yeah." I smile. "Just telling mom I'll be out of town this week."

"And…"

"And that I'm not marrying Peter." I shrug and stand from the bed. "She asked if I was sleeping with my boss."

"Oh god. She didn't?" Arizona drops her gaze and I furrow my brow.

"I didn't tell her, don't worry."

"Oh, I'm not worried. If you told her, that's super brave of you." Her eyes find mine and she gives me a dimpled smile. "You know I'm here regardless of what happens, Eliza. Your mom won't scare me away…"

"God, I hope you mean that." Moving closer to her, she gives me a knowing look and my lips press against her own. "You mean so much to me that I'm fully prepared to lose the only family I have…for you."

"I hope it doesn't come to that, but you really mean it?" She asks. "I'd be enough?"

"You'll always be enough, Arizona. _Always._ " Taking her hand in my own, I guide her back through into the kitchen and take the bottle of expensive red from the counter. "Grab the glasses, beautiful." Something about the call I've just shared with my mom has made me feel different. Relieved, even. I know that isn't the end of it, but I've said those words. I've told her I'm not marrying some random guy to please her. She will say differently, but it's been said now…and now I can be happy for a little while until she shows up here and tries to ruin my life, and my relationship. "Movie before we pack the last of our things?"

"Mm, only if I get to snuggle you at the same time?" Her eyes narrowing, I drop down onto her couch and pull her down between my legs.

"Like I'd have it any other way."

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome.**


	17. Chapter 17

**Figured I'd give you guys a slightly longer chapter since I took two days away from updating. Enjoy!**

 **I own nothing. All characters/storylines belong to Shonda. I'm simply 'borrowing' them.**

* * *

Chapter Seventeen

* * *

ARIZONA'S POV

* * *

Settled on the jet, I find myself staring at Eliza. I love everything about her, and after last night…I've fallen a little more than I probably should have right now. I mean, I don't know what the next few weeks holds for us, and I should be protecting myself from the hurt I may face. I meant what I said last night when I told her that I wasn't going to walk away. I don't care what her moms problem is, her daughter is happy, and that is with me. Why the hell would I walk away from her? Even though I've got no plans to do so, I'm not entirely sure about Eliza. She may decide to walk away. If she does, I have to deal with that myself. This is why I'm worried about falling too hard for her. I don't want to be left hurt, but I think she may be worth all of the hurt in the world. _I just want to be happy with her…forever._ Pathetic, isn't it? Big bad Arizona Robbins is scared of love and scared to get hurt. My mom would kick my ass if she knew what I was feeling.

Mom is a firm believer in finding love and never letting it go, but sometimes it isn't that simple. Eliza is proof of that. I know my family would welcome her in an instant, but it must be hard for her. The idea of her mom cutting her off. The idea of her family and friends back home dismissing her and who she is. I can't imagine having to deal with that. It's just been so easy for me. Accepting. I guess I've been lucky when it comes to my sexuality, really. A lot of people don't have family like mine. A lot of people cannot bring themselves to be honest about who they are, because it's simply easier and less heartbreaking to live life in the shadows. I don't want that for Eliza, but it's not my decision. It's not my choice. I have to stand by whatever decision she makes. It will be hard, but she's worth it. She's been a little on edge this morning, but I guess it's just all a little crazy for her right now. That call she had with her mom last night didn't sound too great, and I'm assuming it's playing on her mind right now. As the days go on...the nearer the weekend gets. The closer her mother's arrival gets.

This break could be ideal for her, and the more I think about it...the more I'm looking forward to it. Just us. No interruptions. It's going to be amazing. One of my assistants coming into view, she gives me a smile but Eliza is too caught up in her own mind to realize anyone else has even joined us. "Can I get you anything, Miss Robbins?"

"Cocktails would be great, Celina." Giving me a nod, she disappears and I lean forward and catch Eliza's attention. She's sitting opposite me, so I have the perfect view right now. "Hey, you okay?"

"Yeah." She gives me a small smile and her eyes divert towards the window again.

"Are you looking forward to this trip?" Trying to get some sort of conversation going, she glances back at me and shrugs.

"I've never been on a business trip so I don't know what to expect." She admits. "Mom was right, though. I'm nothing more than an assistant."

"This isn't just a business trip, Eliza. This is a break, too." I smile and place my hand on her knee. "Some alone time for us." Sitting forward in my seat, I motion for her to come a little closer and she does. "And your mom is wrong. You are so much more than an assistant to me."

"But I'm still just an assistant." My fingers curling under her chin, I lean in and place a soft kiss on her lips. "Thank you."

"For?" I furrow my brow.

"Always reassuring me." She smiles. "Your kisses always tell me that everything is okay."

"Well, anytime you need a little reassurance, you just let me know." Throwing her a wink, I pat the seat next to me and she moves to my side. "I was thinking we could head straight to the site when we arrive, then I'm all yours."

"Okay. However,you want to do it." She agrees. "Is it going to be full on while we are here? Just want to prepare myself…"

"Well, if you call one meeting full on...sure." I shrug.

"One meeting?" She asks.

"Yup. Just one." I nod and Celina returns with two cocktails.

"Enjoy, ladies." Thanking the tall blonde, she gives me a smile and my attention is right back on the woman beside me.

"So, you can come along, or you can stay at the complex. It's up to you. We have a private pool and whatever we need ready and waiting for us, so it's your call."

"How long was this trip supposed to last?"

"Just one night," I state. "Had you not been in my life, I'd have just returned the next day, but you are...and this is the perfect chance to spend some time together."

"I love how you do that." She sighs as she sits back in her seat and sips on her cocktail. "You're amazing, you know that, right?"

"Nope." I shake my head a little. "I just want to spend time with you outside of my condo. Where better than doing so in Hawaii?"

"It's certainly not your average date." She laughs. "To me, though, you _are_ amazing."

"Well, maybe we can just be amazing together, huh?" Raising my eyebrow, she gives me a nod and laces our fingers together. "I love you being in my life, Eliza." Lifting her hand, I place a kiss against her soft skin and she hums in appreciation. "And hell will freeze over before I let you go…"

* * *

This is perfect. Everything about this day is going to be perfect. I'm used to this life, and I'm more than used to making unexpected trips to beautiful places…but with a gorgeous woman beside me? Never. I can't say I've ever brought anyone I've been dating away with me but Eliza just had to come with me. She's addictive. I cannot be away from her. Sure, I may seem needy and desperate for her attention, but I'm taking what I can get right now. If I don't have to leave her side, then I won't. Unless she says it's becoming too much, I'll continue. I want to know everything about her. I want to know what makes her happy, what annoys her. What she has always imagined her future to be, and how she has gotten to where she is right now. Some may say that none of that matters, but it does to me. It matters because I should know the temperature she likes her showers, and the colour she prefers to wear for particular occasions. I'm supposed to know that stuff. Like, does she have a favourite pizza topping? How does she take her coffee? Her favourite season? This is all important to me, even if it is just the little details.

When she is hurting, I have to recognize what will comfort her and what will only make her sadder. If she prefers to be alone at times, I should know that too. I don't want to suffocate her or get in her way, but I also want to be there when she needs me most. I just…I have to know everything there is to know about her. It's important to me _and_ our relationship. It truly is.

We've landed almost an hour ago, and we have just arrived at our hotel for the next few days. The weather is near on perfect, and Eliza hasn't stopped smiling since we stepped off of the jet to be greeted with fresh flower lei's. I know this is going to be her ideal getaway, and if it's going to make her happy, we will be taking many more trips here. Hawaii has always been my safe haven. I'm very rarely disturbed here and the culture is perfect. I love the laid-back lifestyle, and I love the atmosphere here. Everything about it makes me want to set up home here, but New York is my place. Whilst I love the quiet life of Hawaii, I love the bustle of New York. I love the fall. Central Park and all of its variations of people. I just…love it.

"Wow!" My girlfriend breaking me from my thoughts, I glance to my left and she has one hell of a smile on her face. "This is kind of amazing, huh?"

"It's definitely special, yeah." Our car coming to a stop, I step out and round the back of the vehicle. Opening the door for Eliza, she gives me a thankful smile and steps out. Taking her hand in my own, she gives me a look of apprehension, but my grip only tightens. "You're okay here, beautiful. Nobody will see, I promise."

Our fingers lacing together, our bags are taken inside, and we are greeted with cocktails on arrival at reception. A slight sigh leaving Eliza's lips, I give her hand a firm squeeze and she turns to face me. Her lips finding my own, I'm a little surprised, but God, it makes my heart burst. I didn't expect that from her, but I'm not about to complain. She can kiss me whenever and wherever she likes…she knows that. "You've no idea what that means to me." I smile as she pulls back and her eyes find my own. "No idea." My voice close to breaking, I clear my throat and shake myself from my impending emotional outburst.

"You've no idea what _you_ mean to me, so…" Shrugging, we head inside and I'm greeted by the regular staff. I'm not overly disturbed by the staff here, and before we know it, we are already headed to our room for the next three days. I'd called ahead and checked that everything was okay with my usual room, and as always…given my choice of alcohol for the mini bar. No use adding things I won't drink, so I changed it up and had Eliza's preferences added as well as my own.

Stepping inside the elevator, our hands never lose their connection, and something feels different within me. Eliza being here and openly showing affection towards me has left me feeling all kinds of amazing. _All kinds._ "Hey…" I turn to face her. "I promise you will not be bothered here, Eliza. This is always my go-to place when I need to get away from it, so don't worry about anything, okay? This is a worry free trip as of this moment."

"Okay." She gives me a nod and the elevator signals our arrival. "This place is beautiful."

"Mm, I know." I agree as we step out and I swipe our key card down the door lock. "Wait until you see the view." The door bleeping, we step inside and her hand instantly drops from my own. Turning back, my brow furrowed, Eliza is stood motionless. "Um…you okay?"

"Wow…" Her choice of word barely above a whisper, I step a little closer to her and pull her into my body. "Arizona…" She's not giving me much right now, but she's giving me enough to know that she is overwhelmed.

"Welcome to my second home, Eliza." My hands resting on her hips, she gives me a slight nod.

"Y-Yeah, uh…I can see why you choose to come here to get away from it all." She smiles.

"No." I shake my head. "This _is_ my second home. I own this hotel."

"Hotel?" She asks. "It's a freaking village, Arizona. Not a hotel."

"Well, whatever you want to call it, I own it." Taking her hand, I guide her out onto the huge private balcony and her breath catches in her throat. "This is your safe place too, baby, okay?" Wrapping my arms around her waist from behind, she places her hands over my own and leans back into my body. "You will always be safe here."

Turning in my arms, a single tear slips down her face and I bring my thumb up to wipe it away. "Sorry, I just…I don't even know how I'm here." She shakes her head. "This is _so_ not me." A slight laugh leaving her mouth, I give her a sad smile and she drops her gaze. "I'm not sure I'm good enough for this lifestyle."

"Hey." I dip my head to meet her gaze. "You are more than good enough for _anything_ in this world, Eliza. Don't _ever_ think any different." Her face nuzzled into the crook of my neck, I can feel her tears hitting my skin, but I just give her a moment to get it out of her system. I know this is a lot for her to take in, but she'll come round to the idea. I mean, who wouldn't? This place is heaven on earth. "You okay?" I ask as her sniffles subside.

"Yeah." She pulls back and smiles. "I'm a mess, huh?"

"Maybe." I shrug. "But you are _my_ mess and I wouldn't have it any other way."

"I just don't know how I got the girl…" She breathes out as she tries to make herself look a little more presentable. "How I got you."

"We got each other, Eliza." Running my thumb across her bottom lip, she closes her eyes and smiles. "And I hope that we will always have each other."

"This place is beautiful, Arizona. Thank you for asking me to come along…"

"Just so you know…" She furrows her brow. "You are not here as my assistant. You are simply here as my girlfriend. My partner. My _beautiful_ better half."

"But, you said…"

"Had to get you here somehow, so using work was the perfect excuse."

"Mm…sneaky." Her eyes narrowing, she turns in my arms and looks out at the view before us. "Sneaky, but God, so perfect."

* * *

I've been gone for around three hours, and I miss her. I miss her scent, her soft hand in my own, that beautiful smile she has on her face when she isn't busy worrying or thinking about things. I just miss everything about her. I'd given her the choice of staying at my place, or coming with me, but she chose to kick back in the sun instead. I can't blame her…it's what I'd much rather be doing, but I'm desperate to see her. To just watch her breathing and living. She has that effect on me. That effect that nobody has ever had on me, and nobody else ever will. She just oozes everything I want in my life. Everything I've ever thought about. The thing I love about her most, though, is how she doesn't see me as anything other than her girlfriend. I know the unlimited amount of vacations and trips is a bonus, but she is quite happy without that. It's not all she thinks about. It's not all she sees when she looks at me. She doesn't see my account balance. She just sees me. As a person. As an ordinary human being.

Climbing from my car, I head back inside the complex and I'm greeted by the awesome staff here. They really do go out of their way to ensure I have everything I need, but they really don't need to. I know it's their culture, and I know it's how it's done here, but I'm happy to look after myself. It's really no problem. Stepping in the elevator, I'm back at the front door of my place within seconds and I know that my girlfriend is behind it waiting for me.

The light turning green as I swipe my key card, I smile and slip through the door quietly. Eliza is face down on her lounger with her headphones keeping her occupied, so I take this as my chance to just watch her. That beautiful back slowly bronzing as the sun hits her soft skin…I cannot take my eyes off of her. She's a masterpiece, and she's mine. She keeps asking me how she got the girl but right now I'm the one who doesn't understand all of this. I'm the one who is trying to come to terms with the fact that I have this amazing woman in my life. I know things back home are far from perfect, but here, in our own little world…everything is as it should be. Everything is happy, and perfect, and just amazing.

Shifting a little on her lounger, I step back and out of view. Resting up on her elbows, she scrolls through her playlist and I can't take my eyes off of her cleavage. Yeah, my girl is hot, but in a bikini? Wow! I have no words. None. I'm pretty sure I'd struggle to form a sentence right now should I be required to. Her body returning to its position, she reaches behind her back and tugs at the string holding her bikini top in place. _Ah, she's not a fan of tan lines. Perfect!_

Moving further through my private apartment, I head out towards my girlfriend and she senses my presence. One eye opening, she squints a little and then gives me a smile. "Hey…" Sitting up on her elbows once more, I drop my aviators over my eyes and try to hide the fact that I'm staring at her perfect breasts. _So beautiful._ "How was the meeting?"

"Great." Slipping off my shoes, my shorts are quickly discarded and my tight tank is being pulled over my head and thrown to the floor. "You had a good afternoon?" I ask as I settle down on a lounger beside my girlfriend.

"Yeah." She nods. "It's just gotten significantly better, though, now that you are here."

"Missed me?" I give her a sad smile.

"You know, I did, actually." She admits. "I know you've only been gone for a little while, but yeah…I missed you." Her eyes scanning my body, I lie back and allow the sun to hit me full force. It's a beautiful day, and being here with Eliza just makes it even more special. I've never shared this private space with anyone before, and now that I have with her, I don't plan on ever bringing another woman here. Regardless of our relationship. This is our place now. Our private getaway. _Our_ home from home. "You are looking pretty damn hot in that blue bikini, Arizona."

"Thanks." I shrug, my eyes closed and my body humming in satisfaction for this moment. "It's one of my favorites."

"Yeah?" I don't even have to look at her to know that she is smirking. "Why so?"

"Easy to get off." I smile.

"Do you think you could maybe apply some lotion to my back, please?" _Oh, I know what she is doing...and it's totally working._

"Sure." Climbing from my lounger, I take a healthy amount in the palm of my hand and spread it across her back. My hands working her skin, she moans in appreciation and it sends a shiver down my spine. "Anywhere else?" I ask.

"Mm, since you're offering…my legs could do with a top up, too." Glancing over her shoulder, she gives me a smile and I simply nod. Taking a little more lotion, I apply it to the back of her thighs and my hands mold to her strong muscular legs. "Okay, so why didn't I know you could give a massage?" She moans against the lounger.

"Um…I can't, I don't think." Furrowing my brow, she laughs and gives me a knowing look. "What?"

"You totally can…"

"Really?" I ask. "Awesome."

"Mm, awesome for me… You? Not so much?" A low moan releasing from her gorgeous mouth, I have to squeeze my thighs together.

"I don't follow…"

"I'll be expecting them more often." Turning onto her back, she places her hands behind her head and I give her a look of confusion.

"I've just put lotion on you, Eliza." Sighing, I place my hands on my hips and she rolls her eyes. "Don't roll your eyes at me…"

"Because?" Those amazing green orbs narrowing, her right-hand reaches out in front of her, and the string holding my bikini bottoms in place is swiftly loosened. "What exactly are you going to do?"

Her teeth sinking into her bottom lip, I give her a smirk and she pulls me closer to her. "Eliza…" I breathe out as her fingertips ghost up the back of my thigh. Her naked chest drawing me in, she tugs a little harder at the string and my bikini falls open and to the floor. "So bad." I shake my head as I place a knee between her legs and climb on top of her. "But so beautiful."

Pulling me down against her, she crushes her lips into mine and all breath leaves my body. I don't know if it's the fact that we are vacationing in Hawaii, or whether it is just because she makes me feel this way, but something feels different. Something about the way she is kissing me, touching me…it's different. A good different, but still…different.

It's a confidence or a motivation deep inside of her, and it is showing in everything that she does. How she is removing my bikini top…how she is forcing her hips up against my own. She just has something about her that I haven't seen before. "Arizona, you are so hot right now." Pulling out of our kiss a little breathlessly, her eyes find mine and she gives me a completely genuine smile. "I can't get enough of you." My body now flush against her own, her nails claw down my naked back and it sends a rush of arousal straight to my center. "I just have this one problem…" She whispers as her lips begin to work the skin of my neck.

"What's that?" I ask.

"I've missed you today, and right now…" Her lips finding my ear, she takes my lobe between her teeth and gently bites down. "... I need you."

No more needing to be said, my own lips work down her chest and my teeth sink into her hardened nipple. Hissing in both pain and pleasure, her hips force up against my own and I can feel how wet she is for me already. I'd say it was a turn on, but just being with this woman turns me on like never before. Everything about her turns me on. Just a simple glance from her sends me to heaven.

Her hand weaving between our bodies, I rest up on one knee and her fingertips ghost down my stomach, inching closer and closer to where she knows I need them. I was perfectly content to just lie here and be in her presence, but she initiated this. She needs me. Who am I to deny her that? Who am I to deny this beautiful woman the pleasure that she is craving right now?

A gasp leaving my throat as her fingers graze my clit, I rest my forehead against her chest and give myself a moment to enjoy the pure delight coursing through my body. It's more than delight, and I know exactly what this is that I'm feeling…but I cannot say it yet. I cannot leave myself open to that hurt just yet. I know exactly how I feel about this woman, but it's not that simple. She's fragile right now. Worried. Nervous for the future. Telling her how I feel will only heighten all of those emotions she is trying to control and figure out, so I can wait a little while longer. I can wait until I'm sure it's what she wants to hear.

My own hand searching for that searing heat I can feel against my own core, I slip it further down and the arousal I'm met with causes a dimpled smile to appear on my face. "You need me…"

"I-I always need you." She breathes out as I meet soaked folds. "Always." Teasing her entrance a little, a deep moan rumbles in her throat and I've never heard a sound like it in my life. It's my sound. _Our_ sound. Only I make her feel this way. Only I can take care of her and her needs. Me. Not anybody else. Me. Slipping a single digit inside of her, she releases a deep breath that sounds like she's been holding it forever. _She is my forever._ "Please, Arizona."

My eyes finding hers, I place a soft kiss on her nose and she smiles. "What do you need, beautiful?"

"I need you to make me feel good." Without any hesitation, I slip another finger inside and push deeper than before. "Y-Yes." She breathes out as her chest heaves. "Just like that." My body held up by my forearm, I pump in and out of her and give her exactly what she wants. Exactly what she needs. I hope that she can feel the love I have for her. I hope that she can sense it. If I can't say it yet…she has to be able to sense it.

Two fingers hitting deep inside of my own center, unexpectedly, my arm almost weakens but I manage to keep a little strength in it so I can stay in this position. This position allows us to both feel good. It allows us to both give each other everything we have. Honesty. Trust. A beautiful memory. "So good, Eliza." My own hips forcing down against her hand, she increases her pace a little and it makes my head spin. I'm supposed to be making her feel good, but she has made it perfectly clear that she wants to give me the same. She wants to feel me as much as I want to feel her. "God, yes." My orgasm building deep in the pit of my stomach, my thumb comes to rest over her clit and I apply a little pressure.

"Shit." She breathes out as her throbbing clit receives some much-needed attention. Curling my fingers inside of her, her back arches from the lounger and her eyes slam shut. "D-Don't stop." Her breathing a little ragged, I watch on in delight as her impending orgasm nears.

My own about to crash through me, I don't take my eyes off of her face. "Open your eyes, Eliza." Those green eyes flickering open, I give her a smile. "Together."

"Mm.." A slight nod from my girlfriend, I quickly shift and straddle her legs. Her fingers reaching even deeper than before, I take my bottom lip between my teeth and she pulls me down, her lips millimeters from my own. "I-I…" Her orgasm crashing through her, she cuts herself off and my own rips through my entire body. Shaking above her, I grind down against her hand and ride it out. My world is black and all I'm seeing are those green eyes staring back at me. All I'm feeling is my girlfriend beneath me. All I'm needing is her in my life forevermore.

My body slumping down andmoulding into one, she runs her hand up my back and the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end. Her touch can only be described as magical. This woman is magical. I love her, and one day…when the time is right…I'll tell her. I'll scream it from the empire state building given half the chance.

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome.**


	18. Chapter 18

**I own nothing. All characters/storylines belong to Shonda. I'm simply 'borrowing' them.**

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Chapter Eighteen

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ELIZA'S POV

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I can't believe I almost said it. I almost told Arizona I loved her…but thank God I didn't. We are so not there yet. At least, I don't think. Maybe I just got caught up in the moment. You know, Hawaii and the beautiful setting. Maybe my mind just got a little carried away. I'm sure it happens all the time. People say those three words way too early, and then it all turns to shit. The difference is, I _know_ my life will soon turn to shit, so I can stop it from becoming any more painful for us both. By _not_ saying it, I'm stopping a world of hurt from crashing into us when my mom arrives in New York and discovers that her daughter is once again disgusting. Because she will. She will make me feel awful. She will call me everything I've already heard before, but it won't make it any less painful to hear it. It won't change anything. I know my mom hates me and who I am and I know in the back of her mind…that idea that her daughter is a lesbian is still there. Surely she knows conversation therapy doesn't work? Surely she knows that you cannot _cure_ someone of their sexuality. Just…surely.

It's been in the back of my mind since we arrived here, but there isn't a lot I can do about it right now. I've tried not getting too close to Arizona, but the more I try to keep my emotions and my feelings for her out of it...the more I'm struggling to do anything other than love her. I've never been in love before, but I know that the way I'm feeling is exactly what that is. I know it's love. It can't possibly be anything else. Everything about Arizona tells me she is all I need, but it's nice to have family who accept you for who you are and don't shun you from their lives. I know that if things get really serious with Arizona, that is exactly what will happen. Now I just have to decide whether I'm willing to give up my family for her. It's a no brainer, really, but I still have to think about it. It isn't as simple as just walking away from the woman who gave birth to you and raised you. I mean, sure…she may hate me and she may be disappointed in me, but doesn't my happiness mean everything to her? Doesn't the fact that I've got someone in my life who treats me with nothing but respect mean that she should be happy for me? I'd have thought so, but my mother has always been a hard woman, and when she says something goes…it goes.

It's our third day in Hawaii, and I've woken to another beautiful day. The sun is beaming down on my skin, and there is nothing but silence around me. Arizona is still sleeping, and I'd thought about waking her, but I'm not that cruel. We had a late night last night sitting up and talking until the sun was about to rise, but she kept telling me she was happy to do so. Yeah, you guessed it…it only made me fall harder for her. It only made me want everything with her even more than I already did. Am I supposed to suppress how I feel? Am I supposed to walk away and leave someone like Arizona behind? For my mom…for her beliefs? I'm not sure, and I don't know what to do. I want to speak to my girlfriend about it, but I don't think I'm prepared for the outcome. I don't think I'm prepared to ultimately decide my future here in Hawaii.

"Coffee for the most beautiful woman in the world?" Arizona's voice breaks me from my thoughts and it saddens me a little. How can I ever begin to imagine my life without her when she greets me with comments like that?

"Um, yeah…I can make it, though." Attempting to stand, she places her hand on my shoulder and sits me back down.

"No." She presses a kiss to the top of my head. "You are comfortable where you are…so stay there."

"Arizona…" I sigh.

"We are not arguing about morning coffee, baby. Just relax. I've got it." Leaving me to my thoughts once again, I shake my head a little and tug at my fingers. _Baby…_ Nobody has ever called me that. Nobody has ever made my morning coffee, and Arizona does it so well. She knows exactly how I like it. It's heartbreaking to think that one day in the near future she won't be around to make it. She won't be around to fight about who is making what and who isn't. "Beach today?" She calls out from inside the apartment.

"The beach would be nice," I respond.

"Perfect." She calls back. "Just take our time. There is no rush around her to get anything done."

"Yeah." I smile, my response barely above a whisper. Her presence once again beside me, she places two coffees down on the small table in front of us and takes a seat.

"You look tired." She furrows her brow. "Did I keep you up too late last night? I'm so sorry…"

"Arizona, I was the one who kept _you_ up." I give her a knowing look and she simply shrugs. "I'm the one with the fucked up life, not you. So, don't apologize."

"Yeah, your life looks really fucked up right now, Eliza."

"That's not what I meant. You know it isn't." I give her a look and she drops her gaze. "I just…I don't know."

"I'm sorry that you are having to deal with this." Taking my hand in her own, she scoots a little closer to me and nudges my shoulder a little. "I'm here for you, though. You know that, don't you?"

"Yup." I nod. "You told me repeatedly last night after three bottles of wine."

"Three?" She deadpans.

"Yeah, it was three, Arizona." Running my fingers through my hair, she gives me a slight grimace and I shrug. "You were just enjoying yourself."

"Yeah, a little too much by the sound of it." Laughing, she gives me an apologetic smile but I wave her off. "So, you feeling okay this morning?"

"Yeah." I lie. What's the point in ruining this trip with me and my worries? It won't change anything. "Should we grab some breakfast before we head out?" We don't have to walk far to get to the beach, but. I could certainly use a little something on my stomach right now. It may settle it a little more.

"Yeah. I'll order us some things in a little while." She agrees. "I just want to sit here with you for a little while. Take in this view."

"Okay." My cell sounding out inside the apartment, I furrow my brow and wonder who the hell would be calling me at this time in the morning. "Excuse me for a minute." Heading inside, a familiar name pops up on my screen and a smile instantly settles on my face. "Yo!"

"So, you got into the architects pants again, huh?" Jo cutting straight to the chase, I roll my eyes.

"Do you have a camera on me or something?" I laugh. "How the hell did you know I was with her?"

"Um…where are you right now, Lize?"

"Hawaii," I state. "Jealous?"

"She took you to Hawaii? Jesus, I need to get me an Arizona Robbins." Her voice now more like a high-pitched screech, I can't help the laugh that rumbles from my throat. "Lize…"

Heading back out into the sun, I drop down to a lounger and lie back. Like I don't have a single care in the world. "What's up? You doing okay?"

"Y-Yeah, um…"

"What is it, Jo? You want to speak to her, don't you?" Glancing over at my girlfriend, she gives me a questioning look and furrows her brow. "Should I tell her you like to perv at her in magazines, or?"

"I do not!" She yells. "I just think she's amazing for what she does."

"Mmhmm...so did you want to speak to her or no?"

"Oh my god, no." She responds. "Look, I called because you need to know something…"

"Okay…" I draw out.

"Have you spoken to your mom recently?" The worry in her voice evident, I furrow my brow but I quickly reassure myself with the fact that Jo had likely just learned that mom has set a date for our wedding. The wedding that is never in a million years going to happen.

"Yeah, and I know…she's set a date." I sigh. "I've told her it's not happening, Jo. She's coming to New York this weekend."

"O-Oh." She clears her throat. "Um, I think you should probably expect a call soon."

"Why?" My heart sinking into my stomach, I glance at Arizona and she knows something is wrong.

"You are in a magazine with her, Lize."

"An architecture one?" I ask. "Mom isn't going to see me in one of those, is she? She wouldn't know architecture…"

"That celebrity magazine she comes into the store to buy?"

"Y-Yeah…"

"You guys are on the cover." She sighs. "Clear as day. Her arm around your waist. Lots of bags in your hands. One of you two looking _very_ close."

"Okay, stop!" I cut in before she goes any further. "Could they look like anything other than what you think it looks like?"

"No, Lize." She admits. "The headline reads: Architect to the stars finally finds her happy ending…."

"Fuck!" Throwing my cell down on the lounger, Arizona jumps up from her seat and drops to her knees in front of me.

"What is it, baby?" Shaking my head, I can't even speak right now. Jo yelling my name down the phone, Arizona picks it up and takes the rest of the call. Glancing at the name on the screen, she brings the device up to her ear. "Jo, I assume?"

"Yeah, oh my god! Is that Arizona Robbins?" I'm pretty sure the entire complex can hear her through my cell, and I'm happy that she's excited. It doesn't help my situation at all, though.

"It is, but judging by the look on my girlfriends face right now...it doesn't really matter who I am." Hitting the speaker tab on my screen, she sets it down on the table next to our coffee cups and I listen intently. "What's going on, Jo?"

"You guys are in magazines." She states. "Eliza's mom is going t-"

"Hit the roof?" Arizona finishes Jo's sentence and my friend goes silent. "I know."

"Yeah, um…I just wanted to give her the heads up." Jo admits. "I'm really happy for you guys, though."

"Thanks, Jo." Arizona smiles. "Look, we should get off the phone, but maybe Eliza could call you when we get back to New York and arrange for you to come out for a few days?"

"Oh, I'd love that but, um...yeah, maybe. Who knows."

"Well, you are looking out for your friend, so I'd love to meet you."

"Oh my god… You would?" My friend squeals.

"Alright, Jo… Enough with the fangirling." I can't help but laugh at my friend, but that laughter quickly subsides when I remember why she called me in the first place. "I'll sort out a flight for you when I get back. I miss you."

"Lize, you don't have to do that."

"I do." I cut in. "You helped me out, so I'll treat you to the sights of New York. I have to go, but I'll call you in a few days, okay?"

"Sure. Love ya, Lize. Bye, Arizona."

"Love ya, too." I smile.

"Bye, Jo." Arizona ending the call, she turns to face me and gives me a look of worry. "This is it, isn't it?" She asks.

"This is what?" I furrow my brow. My stomach somersaulting every time I think about my mom opening up that magazine.

"Us. This is the end of us." Her words broken as she tries to hold back her emotions, I pull Arizona into a tight embrace and she breaks. The tears falling freely, she sobs into my shoulder. "I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have been so stupid taking you out shopping."

"Don't be sorry," I whisper as I run my fingers through her hair. "I don't regret any of this."

Pulling back, she glances my way and drops her gaze. "I appreciate that I'm not a regret, but that doesn't make any of this any easier."

"No, it doesn't." I agree. "I uh, should I wait for her to call me or do I call her myself?"

"That's your choice, Eliza." She sighs. Standing, I grab my cell and bring up my contact list. "Wait!" She stops me and fresh tears fall. "You didn't say no."

"I didn't say no to what?" I furrow my brow.

"I said that this was the end of us, and you didn't tell me it wasn't. I-Is this the end? I need to know…"

"I have a call to make, Arizona." Sighing, I turn my back and head inside. I feel bad for not giving her an answer, but I don't even know what is happening right now. I know mom isn't going to go for it, but I have some things to think about. I don't want to deny her. I never want to deny her… It's just not that simple, though. To some, it may be, but my mom is going to hate me when she sees that magazine. She is going to demand I return home or disown me. Either way, I cannot win.

The call connecting, my mother doesn't say anything. "Mom? You there?"

"I am." She states. "What do you want Eliza?"

"Just, um…h-how are you?" I stutter. I can't quite figure out if she knows or not. She rarely holds much of a conversation with me so it's a little hard to know.

"Me?" She scoffs. "Well, this morning I discovered that my daughter was some whore of Satan, so you will have to be a little more specific because things are NOT okay!"

"You saw…" I breathe out. It's not a question, but more of a statement. "I-I, it's not what it looks like, mom. I swear."

"Then what is it?" She spits.

"She's my boss, mom. I was simply helping her to shop." I try to work my way out of it, but my mother isn't stupid.

"Of course." She laughs. "I think it's time for you to return home to Detroit."

"No," I state. "I have a great job in New York, mom. I'm not coming home because you want to believe something that isn't true. I'm not." Glancing up, I find Arizona leaning against the kitchen counter. I feel awful that I've just lied about us, but I need more time to figure this out. I need to come to terms with the fact that I'm about to lose my family.

"Are you sleeping with that woman, Eliza?"

"No, I'm not sleeping with her." Gritting my teeth, I try to hold back the tears that are threatening to fall. Arizona looks destroyed. I've just destroyed the most amazing woman in the world because I'm scared of my mom. I don't deserve her for that reason alone. I'm weak. A coward. Pathetic. "I have to go, mom. I have work to do."

"I'm coming to New York in three days, Eliza. I want this mess cleaned up. I will not have people thinking my daughter is some disgusting excuse for a human being." _Wow, this is going to be hard._

"Okay, I'll be at home waiting for your arrival. Bye, mom." The call ending without even a goodbye, I drop down to the couch I've been standing by and place my head in my hands. I need Arizona to say something…anything, but she is silent. I don't like the silence. I hate the silence. What else should I expect, though? I've just denied her while she was standing in front of me. "Arizona?"

Watching her turn around and walk away, my heart feels like it is about to shatter into a million pieces. She says she is here for me and that she isn't leaving, but there is only so much she can take, surely. I may have just messed it up completely by denying her to my mother. It's one thing to ask her to live a secret life with me, but I've just had the perfect opportunity to come clean, and I didn't. I didn't because I'm selfish and worried about myself. What about her? What about how all of this makes Arizona feel? She may be wealthy and powerful, but she has a heart. She has emotions. She has a life to live, too. "Arizona?" Heading back outside, I find her sat staring out at the ocean in front of her apartment. "Please talk to me?"

Picking up her cell, she hits a number into the keypad and waits for the call to connect. "Seb, have the jet ready in the next hour." Disconnecting the call, she throws her cell down on the table and pulls her feet up onto the chair I was sitting in a little while ago. "Pack your things, Eliza. We are going home."

"No," I state, my arms crossed over my chest. "We aren't doing this."

"Oh, we are." She laughs. "Because I don't think I can do this." Standing, she turns to face me and I furrow my brow. "I know I said I'd live my life in private for you, and I know that I messed up by taking you shopping, but I don't think I can do it. It's too painful. We have just spent the most amazing day together yesterday, and I had things that I desperately wanted to tell you, but I'm actually glad that I didn't. Not telling you means that you are free to walk away from me right now. The less you know, the easier it will be for us both."

"What things?" I ask.

"It no longer matters. I mean, to me…it does. But this? All of this worry because your mom is a homophobe? I mean, does she realize that we are in 2017? Does she realize that people are free to love whoever they want now? I just don't understand how she can be so hateful towards you. You are her fucking daughter and she would sooner see you miserable than happy with a woman."

"Arizona…"

"No, you don't have to say it, Eliza. You don't have to say _anything._ " Stepping past me, I grip her wrist and stop her from leaving. "Eliza, don't."

"Don't what?" I scoff.

"Don't do this. We should just head home and you can take yourself off and work through your thoughts. Your feelings. I shouldn't be around you for that. I should just keep myself to myself and whatever happens, happens."

"So, you _are_ walking away from me?" I give her a sad smile. "After you telling me that you are here for me and that you aren't leaving me…you've changed your mind?"

"No, that's not fair. I said when your mom found out I wouldn't walk away. I know it's hard and I know you have a tonne of shit going through your head right now, but I'm in this, too. Can you imagine how you made me feel when you denied me just then? Your mom isn't stupid, Eliza. She knows we are together. I've just checked those pictures out online, and yeah…she knows. You had the chance to come clean. You had the chance to defend yourself and the decision to date me, but you didn't."

"I can't do anything to fix this…" I cry. "I can't win. I please my mother and I lose you. I stick with you, and I lose my mother."

"Yeah, I'm well aware of that." She sighs. "So, I'll take a step back. I'm sorry I ever put you in this position, Eliza. Really sorry…" Shaking her wrist from my grip, she gives me a sad smile and heads inside.

"You wanna know why this is so hard for me, Arizona? You wanna know why I'm struggling with all of this? With you and the decision I have to make?"

"Go on…enlighten me." She turns around and leans back against the kitchen counter.

"Because I love you." I give her my own sad smile but she just stares. Like, she's staring into my soul. "I love everything about you, Arizona. The good, the bad, the professional you _and_ the personal you. I love how my body relaxes the second you walk into the room. I love how you say my name and how you call me beautiful. I love the sound of your voice when you wake and how you stroke my stomach with your thumb when you wrap your arm around me after we climb into bed. I love how you are still in the same position the following morning, and I love that no matter what, you always have a positive outlook."

"Then I don't understand why this is so hard for you."

"If you were any other woman, I'd walk away. I'd go home, and I'd continue to live my life in secret. It wouldn't bother me because I wouldn't be all in like I am with you. So, when I tell you that I love you, I mean it. When I tell you that I want forever with you, I mean it. Do you get that? Is it going in?"

"Y-Yeah…"

"I cannot tell my mother that I'm gay over the phone. I wouldn't ever do that to her. She deserves to be told face to face. That is why I denied it." I admit. "And yeah, you're probably right…she probably does know that I'm lying. She's not stupid, but neither am I. Do you really think that I'd walk away from you because of her warped beliefs? Do you really think I'd ruin the chance to be happy for the rest of my life because she believes I'm living in sin?"

"I don't know…" She drops her gaze.

"But I do." I sigh. Stepping closer to my girlfriend, I trap her body between my own and the counter she is leaning against. "Just give me a few more days, Arizona. Please?"

"A few more days for what?" She asks, her eyes finding mine.

"I'm going to tell her." She searches my face for any signs of hesitation, but she won't find it. I don't need to think about this any longer. I don't need a few days to decide or a little time to come to terms with anything. This woman means more than anyone else ever will and I'm not about to lose her. No way. "I promise you, when my mother arrives, you will be sitting in my apartment with me and I'll tell her."

"You'd do that for me?"

"I've just told you I loved you, Arizona." Running my thumb across her bottom lip, my hand rests against the side of her face and she leans into my touch. "So, yeah. I'm going to tell her."

"I love you, too, Eliza." Her words barely above a whisper, they've caught me by surprise. "I wanted to tell you yesterday but I was scared you'd run."

"I won't run, I promise." It's the truth. I know my mother is my mother, but we don't have the relationship most do. We've never been close and loving. We've always just got on with the fact that we are related. Honestly, the more I think about it, the more I wonder if her not being in my life would make any difference at all. I mean, she doesn't give me much happiness right now anyway, so maybe walking away will be for the best. "Cancel the jet, Arizona."

"Are you sure?" She asks.

"More than sure." I nod. "I need you to myself for a little while longer. The office and your staff can wait a few more days."

"Yeah?" She smirks.

"For sure."

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 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome as always.**

 **Guest: I'm sorry to hear that you are 'sick and tired' of reading my smut, but I'm sure there are much more fics out there that are more to your taste. Also, I'd love it if you could PM me and give me some pointers since I'm 'supposedly' not keeping my readers happy. And since I have so much to learn from the better writers out there, it would be greatly appreciated. Just a shame that I don't expect to hear from you :)**

 **Since you are probably the third bad review for this fic, I won't take it to heart too much. However, I am open to suggestions on how I can improve my writing since it has suddenly become a problem for some readers. Weird, really. *shrugs***

 **Actually, carry on with your comments and I will name the lot of you…it's becoming a little bit pathetic now, so yeah, continue…**


	19. Chapter 19

**I own nothing. All characters/storylines belong to Shonda. I'm simply 'borrowing' them.**

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Chapter Nineteen

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ARIZONA'S POV

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There's nothing quite like having sand beneath your feet. The beach always has been, and always will be my go to place. It's calm. It's peaceful. It has endless possibilities. It fixes your sadness, your hurt. It heightens your joy and pure happiness. So yeah, the beach is my place to be. This time, though, I have my girlfriend with me. She's been silent since we've been here, but I get that. I understand that she is taking everything in. She has just told me that she loves me, and honestly…it's the most amazing feeling in the world. Knowing that the woman you wake beside loves you and wants you in their life is indescribable. It really is. I've had my fair share of dates and short relationships, but this? This is so much more than I ever imagined a little over a month ago when I met this woman in a downtown bar. I can remember that night like I've just woken from it. I can remember how I felt as I sat alone scanning the room. How I was looking for someone to settle down with. How I was looking for someone who I could give my all to. Did I think that person would walk in there that night? No. Was a hopeful that I'd ever find someone who could be that person for me? Only very slightly.

I remember how she was very forward in her approach, and how I was apprehensive about her intentions. That is one of my biggest downfalls, but it's always worked for me in the past. Thank God I didn't let my worries get in the way of us. Had I done that, I don't know where we would be right now. I know I certainly wouldn't be here with her settled between my legs on a beautiful beach in Hawaii. Her silence isn't worrying to me, but I do want her to always be able to tell me if she has something on her mind. Soon, _I_ may be the only person in her life. Soon, she may be walking away from it all for _me_. She has to know that I'm all in. Anyone can say those three words back to someone when they need to hear it, but I meant it, and I always will.

"You know, the beach is perfect for getting away from it all." My arms wrapped around her shoulders, her body is relaxed against my own as I gently run my fingers over her collarbone. "Don't you think?"

"Mm, I do." She gives me a slight nod in agreement. "Have you ever had any real issues like this, Arizona?"

"Like what you are going through? No." I sigh. "That's why I'm trying my best to understand. It can't be easy."

"At first, I thought it was going to be awful, but the more I think about it…the more I'm looking forward to just getting it all out into the open. Whatever happens, I have to deal with it."

"I don't want you to lose your family, though, Eliza." Resting my head against her shoulder, I place a kiss below her ear. "Maybe your mom will come around to the idea of us…"

"Yeah, and maybe we will wake up tomorrow to discover we actually do have world peace." She scoffs. "It's never going to happen, Arizona. Mom will never come to terms with this."

"It's really going to be that bad, huh?"

"Oh yeah." She laughs. "Honestly, though, I just want it to be out there now. I just want to stop living my life this way and be happy with you."

"Can I really be enough, though?" I know I'm second guessing myself right now, because I know that I can be enough for her, but that doesn't mean it should be that way. She should have the approval of her family if that is at all possible. I just hope that her mom can come around to the idea eventually. Even if it takes some time, I hope she can see how happy her daughter is with me.

"You will always be enough, Arizona. Don't ever think that you aren't, okay?" Turning in my arms, she gives me a genuine smile and places a soft kiss to my lips. "And I cannot wait to walk down the street with you when we get back to New York."

"Yeah, New York." I sigh. "I'll miss you when we get back."

"Why? Am I going someplace?" She asks, her brow furrowed.

"No." I laugh. "Just, you going back to your place and me sleeping alone. I'll hate it, but I have to remember that you have your own place. Your own life, when you aren't here with me."

"My own life?" She raises an eyebrow. "Come on…" Standing, she pulls me up to my feet and we move closer to the water's edge. "Let's walk and talk."

"About what?"

"I don't know. Anything." Lacing our fingers together, she pulls me in closer to her side and rests her head on my shoulder. "You are my life, Arizona. At least…you will be soon."

"I know that, but you still have your own stuff to do…I'm just saying that I'll miss you after being here with you and having you to myself."

"Yeah, I get that." She agrees. "I'll miss you, too." _Not the response I was hoping for._ "Tell me something about you…"

"Um, like what?" I give her a look of confusion and stop us on the sand.

"Growing up."

"Hmm, okay." I shrug. Our feet once again moving, the water hitting them keeps us a little cooler in this searing heat. "I had a pretty normal upbringing." I state. "I still have the same best friend that I did growing up, but we don't see each other as often as we'd like. We went totally different ways when it came to our careers."

"That's awesome that you guys are still best friends."

"Yeah. We try to see each other as often as we possibly can, but it's hard." I sigh. "Her family was military so she went that way. She's a doctor now and is out in Germany. She does some amazing work."

"But you grew up together, so how did that work if her family is military?" She asks.

"My family are military, too." I smile. "Well, dad is. He and Tim fell out originally but they are on good terms again now. He wanted Tim to follow on from him, but he refused. He always said he wouldn't go down the military route, and he stuck to his word. I'm kinda relieved if I'm being honest."

"Who's Tim?"

"Oh, my brother." I sigh. "He moved out to Dubai around six months ago. He keeps calling and asking me to move out there, but it's not for me. New York is my kinda place."

"So, your dad is military, your brother lives in Dubai…what about your mom?" She asks.

"Mom is awesome." I give her a dimpled smile. "She's in real estate. She said she wouldn't be one of those military wives whose only talent was baking. Dad may be the colonel, but mom rules _that_ relationship."

"Your family sound awesome."

"I'm lucky to have them. Mom is the one who got me up and running with my career. She's the reason I'm where I am now, Eliza. Sure, I put in the hard work, but it was her enthusiasm for real estate that got me interested in interior design. Then I saw what could be done outside of properties and I fell in love with architecture."

"So, you have a lot to thank your mom for, huh?"

"Oh, yes." I nod. "Mom knows how much I appreciate her, though, so we don't talk about it anymore. She gave me that mom look and I knew it was never to be spoken about again. She is so going to love you…"

"You think?" Eliza raises an eyebrow and I simply nod. "Shame my own mother doesn't love me."

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you feel that way, Eliza. I just meant that once I tell her about you…she will be desperate to meet you. She's been trying to marry me off to half of the women in the US for the past five years so once she knows I'm settled, she will be beside herself with excitement. She will probably just show up at my condo."

"She sounds great." She gives me a half smile and drops her gaze. My grip on her hand tightening, she clears her throat and her eyes scan the view in front of us. People milling about with their families. Couples relaxing with a cocktail or two. It's just beautiful. The calmness here is second to none. "I think we should nap soon. This heat is really kicking my ass."

"Sure." I smile. "Let's head back." I have something planned for this evening, so taking a nap isn't such a bad idea. I want all of my attention to be on my girlfriend, and honestly…I want the night to be perfect.

* * *

"Yes, mom." Rolling my eyes, I settle down with a glass of red and give Eliza a little while longer to sleep.

"Why exactly do you want to use my place tonight? I thought you were on a business trip…"

"I am, but I've brought someone with me," I respond, nonchalantly. "Just…can I use it or no?"

"You took someone with you?" I can hear the excitement in her voice, but now really isn't the time. "Oh, this is fantastic. I'll have my guy get the place ready for you. You want the full works, yes?"

"Of course." I smile. Mom just gets me. She knows I'm a romantic. "Are you able to arrange transport, or should I call around? It's no problem, I'm sure reception can help me out."

"No. Leave it to me." She states, leaving no room for argument.

"Okay, if you're sure." I breathe out.

"I am!"

"Okay, calm down, mom." She sounds more excited than me right now and she doesn't even know Eliza. God help my girlfriend when they finally do meet. She will fuss over her the entire time she is in New York.

"You know, I happen to have a meeting in the city in two weeks. Maybe I could stop by and see my favorite daughter?"

"Um…I'm your _only_ daughter!" I laugh. "So you can't really use that as an excuse to come and meet my girlfriend."

"Oh...she will be there?" She tries to be shocked but I know my mother well enough to know when she is trying to get around me. "I had no idea."

"Sure you didn't, and I'd love you to come by and meet her. You know you are always welcome in my home, mom."

"Well, that's sorted then." She states. "I'll have my place ready for you by 7, Arizona. You'll want to get there for the sunset, I imagine."

"You know me too well." I giggle.

"Oh, I haven't heard a giggle like that from you in a long long time. This woman makes you happy, huh?"

"She does, mom. You are going to love her."

"And I cannot wait to meet her." She agrees. "I should go and get things prepared for you. Enjoy your night, darling. I love you."

"Thanks, mom. I love you too." The call ending, I stand and take my glass of red inside with me. Eliza is standing at the kitchen counter pouring herself a glass and I stop to watch. Her entire being is just gorgeous. "Hey…"

"Hey." She smiles. "I see you started without me."

"You looked far too peaceful to wake, I'm sorry." Closing the distance between us, I set my glass down and pull her into my arms. "You have to pack, pretty lady."

"Why?" She furrows her brow.

"We are staying somewhere else tonight." I shrug. "We are leaving in around an hour, okay?"

"You are going to woo me some more, aren't you?"

"Well, I aim to please…so yeah." I give her a smirk. "You deserve to be wooed all day, every day, Eliza."

"That's sweet, but you really don't have to do that. You've already won my heart, baby." Her lips pressing against my own, I moan into her mouth and she smiles against my lips. "What should I pack?"

"Hmm, maybe a little lingerie." I narrow my eyes. "That's about all, really."

"Oh, it's going to be _that_ kinda night, huh?"

"Maybe. The plan was just to see how it goes." I shrug. Running my thumb across her cheek, she smiles and leans into my touch. "So long as I'm with you, I don't care how the night goes. I'd happily hold you in my arms all night."

"You are perfect, you know that, right?"

"No, _we_ are perfect."

* * *

Climbing into the small boat my mom has organised for us, we thank the driver and settle down for our short trip out into the calm ocean waters. Mom has a hut that she uses to get away every now and again, but tonight…it's ours. No cell reception. No people. Nobody but ourselves for company. It's perfect, and I know Eliza is going to love it. She's a private person, so this should be right up her street. "Where are we going?" She leans into me and whispers.

"You'll see." I smile as I take her hand in my own. "Just wait and then you can be blown away."

"Oh god, you're not going to have me snorkeling after dark, are you?"

"What? No." I laugh. "You think I'd tell you to bring lingerie to go snorkeling?"

"Well, that could be some weird fantasy of yours…I don't know." I know she's nervous. She talks rubbish when she is nervous. Everything is a joke to her or she tries to make light of the situation and that is exactly what she is doing now. "Is it a weird fantasy of yours?"

"No, baby. It's not." I roll my eyes, playfully and a single hut comes into view. Nothing but ocean surrounding it, the crystal blue is illuminated by the under floor lighting around the bottom of the property. Twinkly lights surrounding the platform area, mom has done a good job. She knows how to woo just like me, so I shouldn't have really expected anything less. Glancing at Eliza out of the corner of my eye, her mouth hangs open when she realizes where we are headed.

"Arizona…" Her breath catching in her throat, her eyes find mine and she shakes her head in disbelief. "I-I…"

"You like it?" I ask as I take in her facial expression.

"Wow." Her eyes closing, I can see that she breathing through her emotions, but she doesn't have to do that around me. She doesn't have to hold anything back. Nearing the hut, the driver cuts the engine and we pull up alongside the platform. Thanking him, we step out and moms regular guy is waiting at the door for us.

"Kaipo, it's so good to see you again." He gives me a knowing smile and I introduce him to Eliza.

"I hope that you will have a wonderful evening, and if I can be of any service, do not hesitate to ask."

"Thank you." We both give him a smile and he steps aside. Moving inside the hut, Eliza is yet to say anything other than wow. I knew she would love this place, but that doesn't mean I wasn't nervous about bringing her here. She has made it perfectly clear that she doesn't want me to fuss over her, but I can't help it. It's just who I am. I like to make people feel good, so anything that I suspect would do that, I have to follow through on it. It's just in my nature.

"Arizona, I don't even have any words for this place." Her fingers ghosting over the silk sheets covering the super king size bed, a smile appears on her face and my heart beat starts to return to normal. "It's just…"

"Hey." Stopping her from trying to form some sort of sentence, I pull her into my body and run my fingers through her hair. "This is ours for the night. We are going to head out front and have dinner together while the sun sets, and then whatever you want to do…you've got it."

"I just want to hide away here with you, forever. Can that be in the plans?" She smiles. "I know I've said it before, Arizona, but you really are truly amazing. I don't even know how to feel about this."

"Are you happy here?" I ask, my eyebrow raised.

"More than you can even begin to imagine."

"Then there is no more to say about it." I smile. "Come on, let's get dinner so Kaipo can get out of here, yeah?"

"Sounds perfect." She agrees.

Moving back outside, I smile when I find a candlelit dinner waiting for us on the decked area. Kaipo gives me a knowing smile and pulls out our seats for us. "Mrs. Robbins suggested this red to accompany your dinner…" Sampling moms choice of wine, I give him a nod and he fills up our glasses. Eliza simply sitting back and taking in everything that is happening around her, I take her hand in my own and she gives me a genuine smile. Our dinner in front of us, we both tuck into it and the moans that leave my girlfriend's mouth almost tip me over the edge.

"You okay, there?" I lower my tone and lean into her a little. "You seem to be having some sort of private orgasm…"

"This steak is the best I've ever tasted."

"Mom certainly knows her food." I give her a nod in agreement but she doesn't bother to respond. She's too busy enjoying her food. "Look at that…" I breathe out.

"Jesus, Arizona." Her fork dropping to her plate, she swallows hard and takes in the pinks and purples forming in the sky above us. "That's, whoa." Oranges and yellows mingling in with the slightly purple sky, she sits back in her seat and just stares.

"I brought you here because I wanted to do this differently." I sigh and she gives me a questioning look. "I'd always planned to tell you I love you, Eliza, but it wasn't supposed to happen how it did. It wasn't supposed to happen mid-fight."

"Arizona, it's okay." She places her hand in my own and gives me a smile.

"No, it's not." I disagree. "You are the most amazing woman I've ever met, Eliza. Everything about you is just perfect, and I never thought I'd ever find anyone to spend my life with. But I did. I found you. I don't know how or why, but you came into my life and since the moment you kissed me, everything has been different. From the moment you touched me, my entire life changed. You are all I think about, Eliza. When I'm sleeping, I dream of you. When I'm not with you, I could cry it hurts my heart so much. You just...you've gotten inside me and I want you to know that the love I have for you is immeasurable. It's a breathtaking kind of love and it's for you. Every last piece of me is yours." Taking a moment to allow what I've said to sink in, I simply stare out at the sunset, and the silence only adds to the perfect setting surrounding us. "You may be struggling with things right now, and I understand that you are torn with the direction your life could possibly take, but I want to be the woman you spend your life with. If you have to leave and figure this out, I want you to know that I will always be waiting for you to fall back into my arms. If you are too scared to do anything about us right now, it's okay. It's okay, because the way I feel about you will never change. It will never lessen. If I have to wait ten years to spend my life with you, then I will. I will, because I love you, Eliza Minnick, and nobody will ever come into my life that could compare to you. Never."

I know I've encouraged her to be brave enough to talk this out with her mom, but after I'd done so, I felt a little bad. She's right, I did tell her I would stick by her decision. I know none of this is ideal, but I also know that love conquers all, and one day…no matter how far down the line it is, we _will_ be together. We will always come back to each other. "So, if you aren't ready to do this with your mom, I'm saying it's okay. I'm saying, don't worry about me and what I want you to do. I'm saying…I love you enough to let you go and work this out yourself."

Her eyes finding mine, a single tear slips down her face and I wipe it away. "Please don't cry."

"I know what I have to do, Arizona." She gives me a sad smile. "And I'm going to do it when we get home."

"Just think about it, okay?"

"There is nothing to think about." She shakes her head in disagreement and sips on her wine. "If my mom cannot have me in her life because of who I am, that's okay. Me? I'm perfectly happy to be out and proud with you. That time has come, Arizona. The time to be happy and carefree has come, and it's only because I have you in my life that I'm able to feel that way. It's only because I have you by my side that I'm doing this. You make me want to be myself. You make me want that happiness that some people crave for their entire lives. I have that and it's time to start making full use of it. I have what some people will never experience and there is no way I'm letting it go. There is no way I'm letting _you_ go."

"God, I love you." My words barely above a whisper, she brings my hand up to her lips and places a soft kiss on the back of it. "And I'm going to do everything I can to make you the happiest woman in the world."

"You already have, Arizona." Her eyes find mine again and I see no hesitation in them. "You already have…"

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews, as always, are welcome.**


	20. Chapter 20

**I own nothing. All characters/storylines belong to Shonda. I'm simply 'borrowing' them.**

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Chapter Twenty

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ELIZA'S POV

* * *

I'm lying in a hut in the middle of the ocean, and I'm not entirely sure what to do with myself. I mean, I grew up in the pits of society. I grew up with nothing. Yet I've somehow found myself here with one hell of a woman beside me. I'm beginning to run out of things to say to her, because honestly…I'm just repeating myself now. She knows she's amazing. She knows she's perfect. I know it's not possible for someone to be perfect, but Arizona is. All I see is the pure perfection her parents created, and I'm the one who gets to enjoy it. I'm the one who gets to wake up next to perfection. I'm the one who gets to breathe the same air as perfection. I'm the one who gets to touch and smell and kiss pure perfection. How is that even possible? How is it possible to have this woman in my life and nothing be expected of me in return? Like, she just loves me for who I am and that's that. No questions asked.

How is it that my life is so amazing and wonderful, but a mess at the same time? Surely it isn't possible to feel on top of the world, but slowly dying inside at the same time? Because that's how I feel. I feel like this is going to be a never-ending issue in my life. Like, my mom will forever try to bring me down. Electric shock therapy wasn't enough for her. It wasn't damaging enough for her. I'm not damaged enough for her. Sometimes I still find it hard to believe that she actually took me back to Poland and had some crazed doctor perform the things he did on me, but then I remember the sedation. The emptiness. The sound of the electricity. I remember it, and I know that it was all kinds of real. It was all kinds of wrong. It was all kinds of messed up. _I_ was all kinds of messed up.

I guess I'm lucky in that it didn't mess with my life completely. I mean, I'm over it and I have been for some time, but back when I was younger, it did damage me. I was scared to even look at my mom in case she found another reason to send me away. I was scared that I wouldn't ever please her and that she would never be proud of me. As the years passed, though, I learned to deal with it, and I soon come to terms with the fact that I'd never be good enough for my mother. I'd never see the day when she would have a beaming smile on her face because of me. Never. I wasn't wrong, either. I'm now 25, and she is still disappointed in me. She still doesn't show me any affection. She just…she hates me. I know she does.

Turning on my side, Arizona has somehow disconnected from me during the night, but that's okay. It means I get to stare at her beautiful naked back on this gorgeous morning. Every morning is gorgeous when she is by my side, but I can just about see the sun coming up over the water, and it's pretty intense. It gives me that anxious butterfly feeling and a lump in my throat. Like, I'm overwhelmed by what I'm witnessing. It's hard not to feel emotional when you are in the middle of the ocean with nothing but your one true love beside you, but I'm done with crying. I'm done with being sad. Any tears I may shed during this day will be one of happiness. And only happiness.

Running my fingertips down Arizona's spine, her body shudders and it makes me smile. _She makes me smile._ It's one of those real smiles, too. Not one that you feel you have to wear because it's appropriate or you are trying too hard. It's complete honesty. It always is where Arizona is concerned. Lying here this morning, I can actually feel the love radiating from her skin. From her body. From her sleeping heart. I desperately want to wake her so I can look at her beautiful blue eyes, but I don't want to disturb her.

It's barely even 6 am but I miss her. She's next to me, and I miss her. The sound of her voice. The soft breathing when I'm laying in her arms. How it tickles my ear as she whispers her words of truth and makes me feel like the most important person in the world. Yeah, I miss everything about her waking form. There is nothing more enjoyable that Arizona's sleep filled voice as she opens her eyes and gives me one of her to die for smiles. Because I would. I'd die ten times over for one of her smiles. They're reassuring. Motivating. Genuine. Those dimples pop and I know I'm where I should be. They pop and I know I'm home. My home is with her. My life is with her. My existence is with her.

Wrapping my arm around her waist, my fingertips graze her hip bone and she shifts a little. She's completely naked, but there is nothing sexual about this moment. I could have her screaming my name all day long, but in this moment…it's just love. Nothing else matters, and nothing else is needed. Placing a soft kiss against her shoulder, I nuzzle into the back of her neck and her scent sends me into another sleep filled state. Another hour and we will be ready to face the day. Another hour, and we will be heading back to the mainland and preparing to leave for New York.

* * *

Waking to the feeling of lips on my own, I crack one eye open and smile into a good morning kiss. Arizona's morning kisses are like nothing in this world, and they've become my favorite thing. "Mm…" Swallowing a moan from my girlfriend, her thumb grazes my cheek but I pull her down against me. She makes me feel safe. Protected. "Good morning, beautiful."

"Good morning." Those dimples popping, I brush her hair out of her face and she rests up on one elbow. Her fingers tracing my collarbone, her eyes are fixed on my body. "Did you sleep well?" She asks as her work continues to my shoulder.

"Next to you…I always sleep well, Arizona."

"I don't want to leave today." She sighs as she rests her head against my chest. "I don't want to go back to the city."

"I know, but we have to…right?" Sighing, she gives me a nod and my hand strokes the skin of her bare back. "We have stuff to do…"

"Yeah, I guess we do." She glances up and me and gives me a sad smile. "Whatever happens, I love you…okay?"

"I know you do." Pulling her up my body a little more, her lips are just millimeters from my own. "And I love you. Remember that."

"Always…" Smiling into a kiss, her tongue runs across my bottom lip and my body shudders at the sensation she is creating. Taking it between her teeth, she braces herself above me on her forearms and it gives me the perfect opportunity to give her a little attention. Flicking my thumb over her nipple, it hardens and I take it between my finger and thumb. Pinching and tugging, her lips don't leave mine, but her hips force down against my own. "Make love to me, Eliza."

Her words sending my head into a spin, I flip us and her hair splays out across my pillow. Straddling her thighs, I work the skin of her neck with my tongue and she gasps in pleasure. "I'm going to spend the rest of my life making love to you, Arizona." Taking her earlobe between my teeth, she moans and wraps her leg around my waist. Slipping a leg between her own, she grinds down against my thigh and the arousal I feel pushes me closer to the edge. This woman is all kinds of hot, but this is going to be so much more than sex. This is just us, in the middle of nowhere, loving each other. "God, you're so wet for me." My words barely above a whisper, she digs her nails into my back and it spurs me on. The pain and pleasure coursing through me, I lift her leg up onto my shoulder and drag my nails down the back of her thigh. Inching closer to where she wants me, she silently begs me with her eyes for some sort of friction.

"Please, Eliza…" Her words pleading, I give her a knowing smile and crush my lips back against her own. Slipping two fingers inside, her body arches up off of the bed and it turns me on like never before. "Fuck…" Her teeth sinking into her bottom lip, I pull back and watch her as I thrust in and out. Her mouth open slightly, her breath hitches as I hit deeper and harder than before. "I-I…" No other words, she closes her eyes and the moan that leaves her mouth is simply beautiful. Hitting that spot that drives her insane, I sit up on my knees and drag my nails down between her breasts before my thumb comes to rest against her clit. "God, yes." She hisses as I tease her a little. "Do it, Eliza. Make me feel good."

"Yeah?" I raise an eyebrow. "You ready to let go?"

"Fuck, I don't want to…but I need to, baby." My thrusts increasing, my thumb works her throbbing clit and her body convulses in front of me. "Y-Yes." Her hand coming to rest on her forehead, her orgasm crashes through her but I don't let up. "O-Oh." Shifting my body down the bed, I lap up her arousal and I'm only met with more. My tongue working her folds, she spreads her legs impossibly wide and I have to pull back to take in the absolute beauty before me.

"So beautiful," I whisper as my thumbs separate soaked and swollen folds. "And all mine." Running my thumb down the length of her core, she groans and pulls me back up her body.

"I need to feel you, Eliza." Shifting her leg a little, our centers connect and my body responds like never before. All I can feel is my girlfriend. Arousal mixing, the sound of sex fills the air and my mind is on one thing only...Arizona and the feeling of her soaked center against my own. Meeting every buck of my hips, I'm desperately trying to hold on right now. I need this to last a little while longer. I need to feel her completely for just another minute or so. Her clit pressing against my own, I just can't do it. I can't hold on anymore.

She is creating the most amazing friction I've ever experienced and right now, my orgasm is approaching faster than the speed of light. Her eyes locked onto my own, she reaches up and takes my nipple between her fingers. The pace of her hips picking up, she pinches and tugs and I come harder than I've ever come before. Slowing my pace, I drag out this feeling for as long as I possibly can. I thought about the definition of perfect earlier…well, this is it right now. My body as sensitive as ever, I drop down against her and she places a kiss on my forehead.

Catching my breath, I glance up at her and find tears streaming down her face. My heart sinking, I don't like seeing her upset. Tears should never fall from those blue eyes. "Hey…" Lifting myself up to meet her gaze, I place light kisses along her jawline. "Don't cry, baby. Please?"

"God…" She breathes out. "That was intense."

"Why are you crying, Arizona?" The worry on my face clear to see, she sits up and pulls me into her body. "Did I do something?"

"No." She whispers as she cups my face. "You have done nothing but be amazing. I just…I'm just happy, okay?"

"Promise?" I raise an eyebrow and she gives me one of her gorgeous smiles.

"I promise."

* * *

"Do we really have to leave?" Whining as I take Arizona's hand in my own, I give her a pout and she nudges my shoulder. "What? I don't want to leave. This is your fault. You've introduced me to so much beauty that I cannot leave."

"Don't worry…we will be back one day." Our lips connecting, we head for the steps of the jet and Celina is waiting to greet us. Arizona always hires the best staff, and her assistant on board this flight is no different. "Hey, Celina."

"Ladies…" She smiles as we head inside. "Did you enjoy your trip?"

"Amazing." I smile as I get settled into my seat. "Absolutely amazing." Giving my girlfriend a smile, she throws me a wink the jet engines fire up. It's going to be several hours before we get home, but the longer I'm away from New York, the less stressed I'll feel. Mom will be here in two days, and honestly…I can do without it. I know I'm going to tell her straight, but I don't want her to bring my mood down. I'm tired of her bringing it down as and when she pleases.

"You ready to get back home and back to work?" My girlfriend asks.

"Yeah, but only because I get to sit and stare at you during my working hours."

"Mm, is that what you do all day long?" She gives me a smirk and I shrug. "Wondered why nothing ever gets done."

"Okay, that's just rude." I scoff, as I fold my arms over my chest. "I _do_ work hard."

"You do." She agrees. "You work harder than anyone I've ever employed."

"Well, I have to keep you happy, right?" She gives me a knowing look and shakes her head laughing. "Do you have any new projects planned when we get back?"

"I do have a few things in the works, but we will take a few days before we go back into the office. Whatever needs doing can be done from my place."

"Working from home…I like it."

"I'd sooner work from home." She shrugs. "The view from my place is so much better than the one from the office. Both are beautiful, but at home…it's spectacular."

"Really?" I ask. "I've never noticed."

"That's because _you_ are the spectacular view…"

"O-Oh." I blush. "That's sweet."

"Mmhmm...sweet and the truth." She states. "I don't want you to go back to your place when we land."

"Okay…"

"I want you to come home with me. Where you belong. I want to fall asleep in your arms just like we have the past few days."

"Yeah?" My smile growing wider at the realization of what she is asking, I have to test the water a little. "I cannot fall asleep with you every night, Arizona."

"Why not?"

"Because we have separate places. I'll have to go home at some point."

"Um, not unless you want to…" She narrows her eyes and I give her a smile. "I just…think about it, okay? I want you with me whenever possible, so just think about it."

"I don't have to think about whether I want to be with you or not, Arizona. You know I do."

"So, don't go home." She breathes out. "Come back to my place… _our_ place."

" _Our_ place?" I deadpan. "Yeah, I wish."

"Do it." She smiles. "Do it. Come home with me. Be where you should be. In my arms, Eliza. Please?"

"You want me to stay with you?" I ask. "What if we fight?"

"All couples fight." She laughs. "We are no different." I guess she is right. I've just never been in this position before. Like, is she asking me to move in with her? Or does she just want me to stay with her at night? I'm confused. "Eliza?"

"What exactly are you asking me, Arizona?"

"I'm asking you to be with me, at my place…home." She smiles as she continues to talk in riddles.

"Until when?" I ask. "Until you are over me needing to be there at all times, or?"

"Until…forever."

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Your reviews have been amazing these past few chapters. I can't thank you enough.**


	21. Chapter 21

**I own nothing. All characters/storylines belong to Shonda. I'm simply 'borrowing' them.**

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Chapter Twenty-One

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ARIZONA'S POV

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We've been home from Hawaii for a little over 24hrs, and I'm so glad I didn't head back into the office today. I'm beyond tired, and lounging around has been perfect. Absolutely perfect. We haven't spoken about my suggestion on the flight home yet, but I'm sure it will crop up again at some point in the near future. I'm not too concerned at the minute since Eliza is spread out on my couch eating Cheetos and drinking a can of coke. It's been that kind of day, really. I don't generally have that kinda stuff at my place, but it's what Eliza wanted and it's been enjoyable watching her eat her body weight in crap. She's been watching some rom-com for the past hour, and the 'awws' and giggles have been kinda cute to hear. It's nice to have someone else at my place to enjoy it. It's nice to have another presence around, even if I am working on stuff. She hasn't once bothered me while I've been working, but now I'm ready to take a break and grab a coffee, so I'm standing in my kitchen watching her and she has no idea I'm even here. She has no idea that I'm smirking to myself while she lounges around without a care in the world. "Can I pull you away from your man cave long enough to offer you some coffee?" Her head shooting around to meet my gaze, she clears her throat and sits up like she is attending an elocution class.

"S-Sorry." She stands. "I'll just get this stuff cleared up and then whatever you need, I can do." Hitting pause on the movie she's been watching, I furrow my brow and smile. "What?"

"You don't have to clear anything away, and you certainly don't have to stop watching your movie. I just wondered if you'd like some coffee?"

"Sure, that would be great." She nods. "Let me get it, yeah?"

"Sure." I shrug before leaning back against the kitchen counter. "You doing okay out here?"

"Yeah." Rounding the counter, she fixes herself up a little and I pull her into my arms. "Sorry, I look a mess right now. I got a little carried away."

"Carried away?"

"It's been a while since I've caught a good movie and just done nothing all day." She drops her gaze. "I should have asked first."

"Asked what?" I curl my fingers beneath her chin and her eyes find mine.

"If I could laze around at your place."

"My place?" I roll my eyes. "Are we still acting like it hasn't been decided yet?"

"It hasn't." She counters. "Arizona, you really don't want to live with me. I can promise you that…"

"Oh, I think I do." I laugh. "Isn't that what is happening right now?"

"No." She shakes her head. "I'm still paying rent on my place, so when you come to your senses and kick me out…I have somewhere to go."

"Why the hell would I ever kick you out?" I scoff.

"Because I've never lived with anyone before. Especially not in a place like this." Her eyes wandering around the open space, she turns her attention back to me. "What if I don't do it right? What if I squeeze the toothpaste from the middle and you hate that? What if I forget to pick up after myself and we fight about it because you don't like that either?"

"Are you human?" I ask.

"Yup."

"Then you have your own way of doing things. I don't expect you to pick up after yourself every minute of the day. Do you really think that I do that?" I raise an eyebrow. "So long as you don't leave your heels in the middle of the floor and I break my neck, I think we will be okay."

"Oh God." She gasps. "What if that _actually_ happens? What if I leave something on the floor and you fall?"

"You're not serious, are you?" Tightening my grip around her waist, I give her a sad smile. "Eliza, beautiful…The only falling I'll be doing is for you. More and more every day. Just move in with me already…"

"Can I think about it a little while longer?"

"Sure." I sigh. "You just keep pretending that you don't live here and I'll take it that you do. It's no big deal." Giving her ass a firm squeeze, she smiles and nods. "Now, how about that coffee?"

"Oh, yeah…I'm on it!" Pulling two cups from the cupboard, she powers up the machine and fixes me up the perfect cup of coffee.

"Thank you." Placing a soft kiss on her lips, I pull back and feign a look of disgust. "Mm, Cheeto breath. Just what I've always looked for in a woman."

"Ugh, I'm so sorry." Covering her mouth with her hand, she moves away from me but I pull her back.

"Hey, I'm joking." I smile. "Can I sit with you for a few?"

"Sure. Just let me brush my teeth." Watching her rush off to the bathroom, I roll my eyes and move into the living room. The sun has already set, and now the bright lights of New York City are shining through my floor to ceiling windows. I love New York at night. It has some of the most beautiful views in the world, and I'm blessed to witness them on a daily basis. Hawaii may be breathtaking, but New York will always pull me in. The people. The place. The atmosphere. It's home for me, and I hope one day soon…Eliza. The sooner she gives up this worry act about living together, the sooner she can truly appreciate the place I live in. I didn't choose this condo for nothing. I planned the freaking thing, so I knew exactly which spot had the best of everything. I'd bought it before it was even built.

"Sorry, better…" She rushes back into the living room and slumps down beside me. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah, just admiring the view." I smile as I pull my legs up onto the couch and she comes to rest between them. "Isn't it amazing?"

"It is." She nods. "Do you think you'll always live here?"

"Why? Did you want to get something else?" I ask.

"Who me?" She laughs. "Arizona, I live in a one-bed apartment that even the rats aren't interested in…This is probably the most amazing place I'll ever spend my time in."

"So go home and pack your stuff." I whisper as I place a kiss below her ear. "Give it up already…I know you want to live here with me."

"Oh, you're not wrong about that." She agrees. "That doesn't mean it should happen, though."

"Why? What could you possibly have hidden away that would make me change my mind down the line?"

"While I'm here like this, I'm not the real me. I mean, I am…just toned down a little. You'd hate me within a week."

"Okay, at home…what do you do? What is your routine?"

"Um…weeknights, I go home, grab some noodles or a sandwich, take a shower and go to bed. Weekends, I drink alone and watch a movie or a box set I've been promising myself I'd binge watch for weeks. Since I've been here, though, I've not really done any of that stuff. Going home to a pack of noodles, yeah…but I've been busy getting to grips with things at the office."

"Okay, first of all, you are moving in with me as of now…and secondly, you are moving in with me as of now." Shaking my head, I'm a little saddened to hear how she usually spends her time. "You, Eliza Minnick, will not sit at home alone eating freaking noodles. No. No way. It's not happening. That stops right now."

"It's just what I've always done, Arizona. It's really no big deal." She shrugs.

"Well, to me…it is a big deal. You have to look after yourself and your body." I sigh. "Please, just come and live here. Everything you could ever want or need is here. I know it's not who you are, and I wouldn't expect you to change anything for me, but still…you should at least have healthy food and heating. That place needs a wrecking ball through it, and I don't like you being there alone. It's not safe."

"You are adorable." She smiles. "You really care about me, don't you?"

"You know I do, and I cannot let you live like that. Do what you want here, I don't care. If you want to throw a freaking party…do it. I just don't want you alone in that apartment. I'd never forgive myself if something happened to you."

"Okay…"

"I mean, the area isn't the most desirable, and I know what goes on around New York at night. I don't like it. We don't even have to share the same bed right now if you want to ease yourself into this, but I just, I can't le-"

"I said okay, Arizona."

"O-Oh." She gives me an awkward smile. "Well, good." I clear my throat and sit back. "That's one problem solved." Trying to act all nonchalant, I settle back and sip on my coffee. A comfortable silence falling over us.

"Thank you." She turns to face me and takes my coffee from my hands. "For being so caring and awesome. I promise to do my best where we are concerned. That includes living here with you."

"You don't have to thank me." I smile. "I just want you with me, Eliza. What's the point in waiting when you live at that awful apartment?"

"I'm just scared I'll ruin this, is all."

"You won't." I run my thumb across her cheek. "Just be you and everything will be okay."

* * *

Waking to the sound of Eliza's cell buzzing on the hardwood flooring, I crack one eye open and the light hits me. "Ugh...please turn that sound off."

"I can't." She whines into her pillow. "I'm tangled around you." The sound stopping, we both breathe a sigh of relief and I nuzzle back down into her chest. And then it begins again. Buzzing. Unnecessary buzzing. Another whine from my girlfriend and she throws the cover from her body. "What?"

I can hear a voice sounding out through the phone, but I can't make out what is being said. "Oh, um…hi, mom. N-No, why? What do you mean let you up? You aren't due here for another two days."

Her eyes finding mine, they widen and she jumps from the bed. "No, I'm with my boss. We had to work early. She has a lot on right now." I watch as she paces back and forth in nothing but her birthday suit and the worry begins to settle on her face. Mine too. "Sure, yeah. Give me a few minutes and I'll be over."

"Tell her to come here," I whisper.

"Actually, mom. Could you come to 432 Park Avenue? We have a lot to get through today and since you have arrived early, I can't just leave work." Eliza gives me a slight nod. "Okay, floor 63. Just come on up. Bye."

"Fuck." My hand placed on my forehead, I feel like I'm about to have some sort of breakdown. I'm not prepared for this. Neither of us is. Eliza looks like she is about to vomit, and I don't think I'll be far behind her. "What the hell are we supposed to do?"

"The time has come, Arizona." She gives me a worrying look but I have to try to reassure her.

"Just stick to your story." I climb from the bed and slip on a pair of jeans. "Stick to your story and it will be okay."

"I thought we were doing this, Arizona? I thought I was telling my mom the truth?"

"Yeah, and you will. Just…you haven't really had time to think about it all. You haven't had time to prepare yourself."

"Right, yeah." She nods. Hooking my bra, I pull on a blouse and head off to the bathroom to make myself look a little more presentable. I know her mom is going to know what's going on as soon as she walks through my door, but she can't prove anything.

Heading back out into the living room, I grab my paperwork I was working on yesterday and scatter it over the kitchen counter and the dining table. We _have_ been working from home, but that's not all we've been doing. I guess it's a good thing Eliza still has her apartment right now. It will be less suspicious if she keeps it while her mom is here. All of her things are still there, so she can head back there if she thinks it's going to be the right thing to do. I'll understand.

Glancing over my shoulder, I find her standing at the window and chewing on her nails. "Hey, relax, baby."

"I can't." She bounces on her heels and slips her hands into the back pockets of her jeans. "I've got a bad feeling about this."

"Hey, whatever happens…" I step a little closer to her and hold out my hands. "...tonight, you will fall asleep in my arms, okay?"

"I love you…" She breathes out.

"I know, and that's why this is going to be okay, Eliza." My system alerting me to a presence on the other side of my door, I clear my throat and give Eliza a nod. "You ready?"

"As ready as I'm ever going to be." Grabbing my reading glasses from the table, I slip them on and hope that look like nothing more than Eliza's boss. I can see the anxiety building within her, and this is a totally on her terms. I don't expect her to come clean right now. _Nobody_ is prepared for that. "I'll get the door." Checking herself over, she approaches the door and a loud knocking startles me a little. Quickly sitting down at my dining table, I make myself look busy and my front door opens. "Hi, mom."

Glancing up over the rim of my glasses, an older version of my girlfriend comes plowing through my door and it makes me feel a little uneasy. There is not a single word from her mother and I find that extremely rude. I hate rude people. "This is not your place of work, Eliza."

"Actually, it is." She clears her throat. "I'm Miss Robbins assistant, and wherever she needs me…that's where I'll be." _God, I hate her calling me that._ She should _never_ have to call me that again. It's too formal and I don't like it.

"Yes, I can see that." She spits. Standing, I approach Eliza's mom and hold out my hand. Her eyes scanning me, she turns her attention back to her daughter and gives her a look of complete disgust. "First you are pictured with this… _woman,_ and now you are at her home at what? 9 am?"

"Yeah, it's a demanding job, mom. I'd appreciate it if you could see that."

"Mm, looks very demanding." She gives Eliza a sarcastic smile and then her eyes land on me. "Are you taking advantage of my daughter?"

"Excuse me?" I furrow my brow.

"Well, you are clearly older than her. You must be what? Forty?" _That's just fucking rude._ "She is virtually a child compared to you, _Miss_ Robbins."

"If you could lose the attitude I'd be forever grateful." Giving her one of my own best smiles, she simply stares. Like she is trying to read me. _Oh, I don't think so._ I'm a businesswoman, and nobody reads me. "I haven't and I am _not_ taking advantage of your daughter. Eliza is one of the best staff I've ever employed, and you should be proud of the life she is making for herself here."

"Oh, I don't think so." She shakes her head. "Get your jacket, Eliza. _We_ are leaving. Peter is waiting for you back in Detroit, and you have a wedding to prepare for."

"Mom, I've told you that isn't happening."

"And I've told you it is."

"Eliza cannot just simply leave. She has a contract to honor, and it is far from finished." I state.

"And this is none of your business so you can keep your wealthy nose out of it." She glares. "I'll bet it cost you a small fortune." _Okay, why does this woman have to criticise my appearance? Seriously!_

"Mom, could you be any more rude?" Eliza spits. "I think you owe Arizona an apology."

"Ah, first name terms." She raises her eyebrow and I can already feel a major headache coming on.

"Mom, I think you should leave." My girlfriend sighs. "Because if you don't, I'm going to say some things that you really don't want to hear, and honestly, I don't feel much like being the disappointment today."

"Oh, darling… You are nothing but a disappointment so anything you have to say, say it."

My mouth dropping, I cannot believe what I'm hearing. I attempt to speak, but Eliza beats me to it. "Well, that's good. What I'm about to say shouldn't bother you if I'm nothing but a disappointment."

"Just get your jacket!" Her voice raising, I step forward a little and try to show Eliza that I have her back.

"No, I'm not going _anywhere_ with you. I'm staying here, with Arizona." Giving her mom a sad smile, I feel like my heart is about to pound out of my chest. "I love her, mom, and I know you don't, and you never will understand…but that doesn't change anything for me. I'll still love her whether you are on board or not."

"Oh no." She laughs. "No no no. Not again, Eliza. You will not go through this ridiculous phase again. If you are sick, we will get you help, but you will not live with a woman. You will not…do whatever the hell it is that you do together. Not before I'm cold in the ground. No!"

"Well, I'm not going anywhere with you so why don't you just leave…" I can see that she is worried about how this is going to go, but I'm done playing games.

"You heard your daughter….leave!"

"You!" She points her finger in my face. "You did this. You made her this way. What the hell have you done? You disgust me."

"Well, the feeling is mutual." I smile as I wrap my arm around Eliza's waist. "If this conversation is done, you can go."

"Eliza, you cannot do this." She sighs. "You have done nothing but bring shame to our family, and I won't let you do this again. I will not let you become that vile creature you were at fifteen. I will not!"

"HEY, _LADY!_ " Stepping closer to the woman who is getting on my last nerve, she doesn't move. She doesn't even flinch. "You won't come into my home and speak to the woman that I love that way. Now, you get out of here or I call security."

"Love!" She scoffs. "People like _you_ aren't capable of love!"

"You know, you really ought to take a look in the mirror, because all I see is a bully and a monster. Don't tell me what I am and what I'm not capable of when you flew your daughter out to some asshole and had him perform illegal acts on her. Don't you fucking dare! GET OUT!"

"I'm not finished with this, Eliza." She steps towards the door and I've never been so thankful to see the back of someone in my life. "This is NOT finished!"

The door slamming shut behind her, I turn to face my girlfriend and she is white. Her entire being is white. Like someone has just sucked the life right out of her. "Eliza…"

"I-I can't." She cries. "I just, I can't."

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. That's me done for the night. See you guys tomorrow!**


	22. Chapter 22

**I own nothing. All characters/storylines belong to Shonda. I'm simply 'borrowing' them.**

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Chapter Twenty-Two

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ELIZA'S POV

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I cannot believe this is happening. I mean, I know my mom is the bitch from hell, but the things she said to Arizona…that hurt. It really hurt. Her words don't affect me so much anymore, it's just become the norm, but Arizona didn't deserve any of that. She didn't deserve to be criticised or spoken to like that. Especially not by someone who doesn't even know the first thing about her. My girlfriend must feel terrible right now. My mom has no filter. She doesn't know when to stop. This is all my fault. I should have prepared her for the meeting of my mom. I shouldn't have asked her to come to the condo. I know Arizona suggested it, but I should have seen how this was going to go and I should have stepped in and disagreed with my girlfriend's idea.

This is going to be a bad day. I know it is. Once mom gets inside your head, it's hard to bring your mood up. It's hard to laugh and smile and get back to your happy place when she has gotten inside your head. She has that about her, and I hate it. _I hate her._ I know I shouldn't speak about her like that, but she has done nothing in my life to show me any love. She doesn't support me in anything that I do. I mean, she's just seen the place where Arizona lives, but she still told me I was a disappointment. I wonder if she will still feel that way when she knows the pay cheque I bring home each month? No, she will be my best friend when she knows I'm the key to paying her rent. The rent she has struggled to pay for as long as I can remember.

I'd offer to send her money each month, and that had originally been the plan all along, but I'm done with her. I'm done with her attitude and her nasty words. It's not a big deal for me, but my girlfriend has just been verbally abused by her, so yeah…I think I'm more than done. It's not like I'd miss her. She's _very_ unmissable.

I've taken myself off to the library at Arizona's place because I need to think. Just for a moment. My girlfriend doesn't need any of this drama in her life so I need to think fast about how this is going to go. So long as my mom is in New York, we will both be on edge. We will both be watching our backs. What a couple of days makes, huh? I've just spent the night in a hut owned by Arizona's mom, and now I'm hiding away because my own mom doesn't know how to lower her nastiness level. Honestly, I think it's just who she is. I don't even think it's learned. She's just a bitch. She's just full of hate. Hate that I really don't want or need in my life. "Eliza?" My girlfriend's voice sounding out down the corridor, I hold my breathe and pray that she just leaves me alone for a little while longer. Not because I don't want to see her, but I'm too embarrassed to even look at her right now.

I don't even know how she is feeling right now, but I suspect that offer of moving in with her has just been taken right off of the table. I don't imagine she would want to share her home or her life with someone like me. Someone who comes from woman too nasty for words. So rude that she makes your body shiver just by entering the room. I don't suspect she would want anything with me now that she's met the woman who raised me. I mean, I'll probably just turn out like her anyway, right? Isn't that how this is supposed to go?

"Eliza?" Her voice calling me again, I drop down to the window seat and pull my knees up to my chest. Breathing through the hurt my mom has just caused, Arizona appears at the doorway of the library and gives me a sad smile. "Hey…"

"I-I'll get my stuff out of here as soon as. I just need a moment to get myself together. She could still be in the lobby and I don't want to see her right now." My eyes finding hers, Arizona furrows her brow and steps further into the room. "I just…can I have a little time, please? You don't have to even be around me, I get it."

"Excuse me?" She shakes her head and drops to her knees in front of me. "Why are you getting your stuff?"

"Why wouldn't I?" I ask, incredulously. "My mom has just been rude and awful to you, so I'm pretty sure it's time for me to leave. You didn't deserve that, and I don't deserve you…"

"You're not going _anywhere_ , Eliza." Standing, she takes my hands in her own and pulls me up to my feet. "No way."

"I don't understand…"

"There's not really much _to_ understand. Your mom is here, she is almost everything I expected, and you are hurting. You are sad. I don't want you to be sad, baby, but I know it's easy for me to say that. Just, come and sit with me for a little while, okay?"

"You don't want me to leave?" I ask, a little shocked.

"No, beautiful." Running her thumb across my bottom lip, she places a kiss on the tip of my nose and guides me out of the library. "Come on, I'm fixing you up a nice relaxing bath."

 _Okay, I'm totally lost right now._ My mom has just come through her door and completely disrespected her and she wants to fix me up a bath? How is that even possible? Why am I even still in this condo? I don't understand. "Arizona…" I sigh. "I should really go. You don't need this. Hell, I don't need this."

"I've just told you, Eliza, you aren't leaving."

"But…"

"But nothing. Your mom isn't about to scare me away. I've dealt with much worse than her throughout my career so no, she can take a hike for all I care." Her eyes telling me that she is speaking the complete truth, I drop my gaze and enjoy the feel of her hand in my own. "You go take five minutes on our bed and I'll get your bath prepared, okay?"

"Okay…" Wait, she said _our_ bed.

Watching her walk away from me, I slump my shoulders and a slight smile appears on my face. _I love how she carries herself._ She's just going about her business like nothing has even happened. How does she do that? Turning back, she brings her hand up to her face and touches her nose. "Just…do I _really_ look like I've had a nose job? Like, really?"

"No." I smile. "Your nose is beautiful…just like the rest of you." _This woman never fails to amaze me._

"Okay, good." She releases a deep breath. "Guess my forty-year-old ass should get that bath ready for you, huh?"

"I'm so sorry…" I give her a sad smile and she simply waves off my apology.

"Don't be." She shrugs. "I quite like the idea of being thought of as your cougar." Throwing me a wink, she disappears out of sight and I can't help but laugh a little. I love how she sees the lighter side of things. Even though I want to kick my mom's ass, she thinks her words are nothing short of funny. I don't know how she does it, but she doesn't let things get to her. Maybe I should follow her lead and my life may just be that little bit easier to deal with.

* * *

I've been lay in steaming hot water for the past fifteen minutes or so. I won't lie, I do feel a little calmer, but I'm still hurt by my mothers behaviour. Arizona is one of the most beautiful people I've ever met, both inside and out, but my mom would refuse to even attempt to see that. She has her ways and that's the end of it. Its her way or no way. Well, not this time. It will be kinda hard to miss a mother's love when it's never been there in the first place. It's not as though I'm going to be devastated if she isn't in my life. She's almost non existent, anyway. A light knocking on the door pulling me out of my depressing thoughts, I call for Arizona to enter and the door opens ever so slightly. "Eliza?"

"Yeah?"

"Can I come in?" She asks.

"Of course, you can." I smile and her beautiful face appears around the door. "What's up?"

"Can I sit with you for a little while? I just want to make sure you are okay…"

"I'd love you to sit with me." I nod. "Come on in." Stepping inside, she closes the door behind her and removes her blouse from her body. "Um…" _Okay, so she plans to sit IN the tub with me. Awesome._ Her jeans slipping from her thighs, her panties follow and she unclasps her bra.

"Scoot forward." I move into the center of the tub and she climbs in behind me. Her legs resting either side of me, she bends her knees a little and places her hands on my shoulders. Pulling me back against her body, I sigh and my eyes concentrate on the view outside. Central Park is looking pretty good today, and honestly… I want to head out there.

"Wanna take a walk later?" I ask.

"Sure." She perks up. "Anywhere you'd like to go?"

"Over there." Pointing out of the window, she hums in agreement and I rest my head back against her chest. "If you wouldn't mind."

"Not at all." Her fingers running through my hair, my body relaxes instantly. "It's one of my favorite places to be." She admits. "Have you done Central Park yet?"

"No. I haven't had time." I shrug.

"I'm sorry…"

"No, I didn't mean it like that." I glance up at her and she gives me a smile. "I just, I've wanted to go for a while, but I've wanted to do it with you. You know, like together."

"Why didn't you say? I'd take a walk with you any day, Eliza. You know that…"

"Just…scared, I guess."

"You don't ever have to be scared, baby. Just do you, and you will have nothing to worry about." Reassuring me, she runs her fingertips over my shoulder and it makes me shudder a little. Everything about her is so soft. Her touch. Her words. Her vibes. Soft, and positive.

"I've just never been _out_ in public."

"And that's okay." She replies. "I'm not about to make you do anything you don't want to do, okay? Just walking is good enough for me."

"Thanks." I sigh. "I could really use the fresh air right now."

"And fresh air is what you shall get." Taking a sponge and pouring a healthy about of vanilla body wash on it, she works it up into a lather and runs it over my skin. "Maybe we could just stay here for five more minutes, though, huh?"

"Yeah…" I sigh as the scent attacks me. "That would be nice."

* * *

The air a little cool, I pull my jacket around me tighter and Arizona falls into step with me. I feel a little more relaxed than I did when my mom left her condo, but I'm still not feeling myself right now. I just feel drained. I feel like I'm unsure about everything in my life, and I don't like it. I don't like how she makes me feel. She makes me question everything about myself. Like, she is so adamant that I'm a disappointment, so does my girlfriend see that too? Is she just trying to allow me some time to fix myself and hope that I'm not a disappointment? I don't know, but I don't like any of this.

I've always had confidence issues because of my mom, and she has just brought them back tenfold. I know I shouldn't let her get to me like she does, but its easier said than done. Doesn't everyone seek approval from their mother? Isn't that what they are there for? To be proud of you, to cheer you on in your successes, to love you, unconditionally? Why did I get the terrible mom who couldn't care less about me? I don't understand. Clearly, I went wrong somewhere.

"I hate her." My words barely above a whisper, Arizona moves a little closer to me and nudges my shoulder.

"Wanna talk about it?" She whispers.

"No. I'm sure you're sick of hearing about her." I give her a sad smile and she shrugs.

"If something is on your mind, I'll never be sick of hearing about it." Crossing the street, we head into Central Park and it's calming. Everything about it is calming. The leaves have that slight orange tinge to them, and the smell of fall is in the air. Only very slightly, but it's still there. It's my favorite smell. It's my favorite season. "Eliza?"

"Mm…" My eyes a little glossy, I give her a side glance and she raises an eyebrow. "Sorry, I was just smelling the air."

"Fall is your season, too, huh?"

"For sure." I smile. "I love everything about it."

"Well, we're off to a good start then." She smiles. "I come here most days once I get even the slightest hint of the seasons changing. I feel like I'm going to miss out on it if I don't."

"Can I come here with you most days?"

"You know it." She throws me a wink and I step a little closer to her. I want to touch her. I want to hold her hand. I just…I don't know how to be like that in public. "How are you feeling?" She asks.

"Just…I don't know." I shrug. "Weird. Angry. Hurt."

"Yeah, I get that." She agrees. "Everything will be okay, though, Eliza."

"How? How can it ever be okay?" I sigh. Taking Arizona's hand in my own, her eyes drop to our laced fingers and she glances back up at me. "Just go with it…" I smile.

"Oh, always." She tightens her grip and I know that I'm safe with her. No matter what happens, she will never let me go. "Look, I know you are mad at your mom for the things she said to you, but you have to let it go. Her opinion doesn't matter, Eliza. Are you really going to let it get in the way of your happiness?"

"No," I state. "And I'm not hurt by what she said to me. I'm hurt by what she said to _you_."

"Oh, I'm a big girl and I can handle your mom. Don't worry about me."

"It still doesn't make it right, though, Arizona. She was horrible to you. I've never seen her like that before. With me, yes…but to another person? She doesn't usually allow her anger to get the better of her like that. She can be very sneaky so she tries to act cool around everyone else but me. I just…she doesn't like what we are at all, Arizona."

"Don't you think I know that, Eliza? Don't you think I know that this isn't going to be easy?"

"I know you do, but I need to know that you will never run Arizona. I know you've told me you are all in, but after this morning, I fully expect you to change your mind. I fully expect you to decide against the drama I'm likely to bring to your life."

"I'm not going anywhere, Eliza. I can promise you that right now."

"You are a very successful business woman, Arizona, and you don't need all of this in your life. You have an awesome enjoyable life…why would you want to stick around with me and the problems my mom is going to bring?"

"Because I love you." Stopping dead in the middle of the path, she turns to face me and a single tear slips down her face. "I love you, Eliza, and I need you to just allow me to do that. To love you and to be there for you. My money and my status don't matter in this. None of it matters if I don't have you. None of it."

"You are the most amazing woman in the world, Arizona, but please…if it gets too much, please tell me and I will understand."

"Not going to happen, Beautiful." Curling her fingers underneath my chin, she inches a little closer and gives me a questioning look. A slight nod from me and her lips press against my own. The park disappearing, I could be on a stage in front of thousands of people right now and I wouldn't care. She just makes me feel wanted and protected. She makes me want to be out in public and kissing the face off of her. She makes me want everything. Pulling back, she gives me the biggest dimpled smile I've ever witnessed. "Wow…" She breathes out, her eyes closing. "What you have just done means the absolute world to me."

"I love you, Arizona." My lips pressing against her own once more, she grips onto my hips and her nails dig in a little harder. "And I'm so proud of you for standing up to my mother."

"I'll always protect you, Eliza." Running her thumb across my cheek, I lean into her touch and she smiles. "Let me take you to dinner?"

"I'd love dinner." Our hands laced together once more, we head off and a comfortable silence falls between us. I know that this is far from over, but in this moment, I'm okay.

 _I'm not good…but I'm okay._

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Your response to the past few chapters has been motivating to say the least. Have a great evening.**


	23. Chapter 23

**I own nothing. All characters/storylines belong to Shonda. I'm simply 'borrowing' them.**

* * *

Chapter Twenty-Three

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ARIZONA'S POV

* * *

Last night was pretty relaxed. Eliza was just taking in the days events, and that's okay. I can't exactly expect her to just forget about things, so we simply lay in each other's arms and talked about anything and everything. Her mom being here is really hitting her harder than I expected it would, and honestly...it breaks my heart to see her like this. She smiles at me, but it's not that smile I know and love. It's not the smile I fell in love with. It's false. It's only halfway there. It's a smile that she is putting on for me. I appreciate that she is trying, but she doesn't have to try anything for me. I know that she is struggling, and I've made it perfectly clear that I can be whatever she needs me to be. I can be the friend or the lover. I can even be the person that she screams at when she is at breaking point. Whatever she needs. After all, she is the most important thing in my life. That has become evident for anyone to see the past few weeks.

She's asked that we work at the office today and even though I don't feel like being stuck there all day, it's what she wants to do. So now, I find myself sat in the back of my car with Rich at the wheel and I already feel like I need another vacation. "What's the plan for today?" Eliza glances my way and I turn to face her.

"The Johnson site is ready and up and running, so I just need you to make a few calls." Giving me a nod, the car takes a left and we pull up outside my office building. "I have a dinner meeting with McManus but that shouldn't take too long."

"Why?" She asks.

"He tries to overprice me every time that we meet up. Then he tries to get me out on a date with him. Therefore, I'm usually leaving within 10 minutes of sitting down."

"He sounds like a right slimeball."

"He just thinks he can have what he wants, no questions asked." I shrug as I climb out of the car and wait for Elida to join me on the sidewalk. "I should be back within a couple of hours providing he sticks to his promise."

"And if he doesn't?"

"I'll be back even sooner." Laughing, she pulls her purse up onto her shoulder and we make our way inside. "Let's hope he's full of shit again, huh?" Hitting the elevator, it shoots us up to the floor we require and honestly, I haven't missed the place. Heading down the corridor, Eliza right behind me, Lucie gives us both a small smile. "Good morning, Miss Robbins. How was your trip?"

"Amazing, Lucie." I grin. "Any messages?"

"All on your desk and ready for you to look over." She nods as she stands. "Eliza, could I speak to you for a moment?"

"Um, sure." My girlfriend shrugs. "What's up?"

"Could um, do you think that maybe we could grab a drink tonight? Or through the week if you are busy tonight?" My eyes narrowing at the woman who tried to turn Eliza against me, she is focused purely on my girlfriend.

"Oh, uh…no thanks." She gives Lucie a small smile and my secretary furrows her brow. "I-I…"

"Baby, are you coming? We have a lot to get through today." Lucie's eyes shooting my way, I turn my back and head inside my office. Heading for my desk, my door closes and I turn to find Eliza glaring at me. "Everything okay?"

"That was cruel." She smirks.

"Yeah, and she's lucky she still has a job after the way she spoke about me to you." I shrug. "Now, where were we?"

"Um, your meeting at dinner?" She perks up.

"Right." I smile. "So, you can hold things down here, right?"

"I-I, uh…yeah, I think so." She agrees. "Can't be that hard."

"Can't be that hard?" I raise an eyebrow and close the distance between us. "Are you trying to say my job isn't hardcore?"

"Oh, no." She shakes her head. "I just…"

"You just what?" I narrow my eyes and she swallows. Hard.

"Stop looking at me like that."

"Like what?" I give her a sexy smirk and she rolls her eyes.

"Like that. Turns me on terrible." My lips pressing against her own, I pull her backward and towards my desk. My hand fisted in the front of her very revealing blouse, my fingertips graze the soft bare skin of her chest and it only heightens my arousal. Dropping down into my seat, I pull her towards me and she straddles my legs. "Fuck, Eliza." I pull back, desperate for some air. "You just had to wear a freaking skirt today, huh?"

"Have to keep you entertained somehow." She shrugs as she unbuttons a single button on her blouse, revealing a little more skin. "It's a little hot in here this morning, beautiful."

"Mm…" My lips caressing her chest, she leans in a little closer and pulls my face up to meet her own. "You're telling me?" I whisper. Her eyes glaring into my soul, this was not how I planned our morning starting. I expected a little work and then home. Not a little sex, very little work and then home. "What do you need, Eliza?"

Her legs spreading a little wider, she takes my hand and runs it up her thigh. "I need you." Biting down on her bottom lip as I inch closer to her center, I discover that she isn't wearing any panties and my eyes close in anticipation for what I'm about to find. _Ugh, I'll bet she's soaked._ "You're the only person who makes me feel alive, Arizona." Her words sending my head into a spin, I pull her face closer to mine and my lips crush into those beautiful soft red lips I cannot seem to keep away from.

"I'm sorry, Ma'am, but you-" The sound of some sort of scuffle outside my door causing us to separate, I furrow my brow and my office door swings open, hitting the inside wall of my office. "Miss Robbins, this _lady_ would like to see you."

Eliza's mom standing in my office, I swallow hard and a blush creeps up my neck. Trying to divert all eyes, Eliza inconspicuously buttons her blouse back up and thankfully, my desk is covering the fact that I have my hand up her skirt. _Fucking humiliating!_ "Take your hands off of my daughter!"

Lucie steps back and out of sight, my office door closing as she does so. I know I'm not happy with her, but I'm kinda thankful that she has prevented all eyes and ears from hearing this. Standing, Eliza rounds my desk and steps a little closer to her mom. "What now?"

"I told you this wasn't finished. Imagine my disgust when I waited outside your apartment block all night and you didn't return home."

"My home is with Arizona." My girlfriend states as she steps around the older woman standing in the middle of my office. Her face…it's actually frightening right now. "So, don't expect to find me at my old apartment again."

"This is a joke. Your relationship is a joke." She spits. "And you…" She turns her attention to me. "You are nothing but an animal."

"Did you have an appointment, Ms. Minnick?" I ask as my heart rate returns to normal. "Because I don't usually do walk-ins."

"You think you can just do as you please because you have money? You think you can take my daughter away…"

"I haven't _taken_ her anywhere." I shrug as I power up my computer. "If you paid any attention to her whatsoever, you will find that she is sitting right behind you."

"Enough with the smart ass comments."

Raising an eyebrow, I stand and round my desk. Stepping painfully close to my girlfriend's mother, I give her a sarcastic smile. "You know, I don't know who you think you are, but first you barge into my home and insult me, and now here you are again…"

"Who I think I am? Oh, I know who I am, Miss. Robbins."

"And who I am is not who you think." Crossing my arms over my chest, I stand my ground and give this woman just as good as she is giving me. "Did you have something sensible you needed you say, or are we just going to go around in circles again?"

"Eliza…" She breathes out. "I'm staying at the Seven Hotel down the street. Please, come to me tonight. Talk to me. Let me explain to you how what you are doing is wrong."

"You're staying at the Seven? How the hell did you afford that?" She scoffs.

"Peter." She clears her throat. "Now, will you come by?"

"Nope." Scrolling through her cellphone, I can't help the grin that appears on my face. _That's my girl. Standing her ground._ "I don't have anything to say to you, mom. And I suspect that you don't have anything to say that I really care to hear."

"Eliza, I don't want to leave here without you!" She yells.

"Could you keep your voice down?" I ask. "I have a business to run here…"

"Why are you even still here?" Her mom scoffs.

"Uh, because it's my office." Laughing, I shake my head and hit the button on my phone that will direct me to Lucie.

"Miss Robbins?"

"Call security." Ending the call, I place my cell down on my desk and return to my seat. "If you'd like to have a seat, Ms. Minnick, you are more than welcome. They should be here shortly."

"I'm not sitting in this room with _you._ " Stepping closer to her daughter, she folds her arms over the chest and clears her throat. "I expect you at my hotel TONIGHT, Eliza. Do not disobey me, and do not keep me waiting."

"In case you've forgotten, mom…I'm 25. And if you remember…you don't want me in your life since I'm banging a woman." The sound of a sharp slap across the face causing me to bolt out of my seat, I step between my girlfriend and her mother. "Arizona, it's okay." Her voice breaking, Eliza takes my hand in her own and tugs me back a little.

"You lay a finger on her again and I'll have an order against you." Security entering my office, I'm thankful that they are here. I'd usually just deal with it myself, but this woman does not quit. "Get her out of my building." Being escorted out of my office, she shrugs the security guys hands off of her and mutters something under her breath. I'm trying to control my anger but right now I'm struggling. "Are you okay?" Turning to face my girlfriend, I drop down to my knees and remove her hand from her face. "Oh, Eliza." Her mom had hit her so hard that she has broken skin. _I'm not even angry anymore. I'm just hurt._ Hurt for what I've just witnessed. Hurt for my girlfriend. Hurt for how she must be feeling.

"C-Can I take the rest of the day off?" She stutters, her eyes filling with tears.

"Of course, you can." I give her a sad smile. "I'll come with you, okay?"

"No, it's okay." She shakes her head. "I just want to be alone for a little while."

"If you're sure?"

"Yeah, um…I'll stay late tomorrow and catch up on whatever I've missed today." She stands and pulls her purse up over her shoulder. "I'll see you tonight?" It's more of a question than a statement.

"You know you will." Watching as she heads for the door, my heart sinks into my stomach. This woman needs to be told once and for all. She needs to be told that her behavior isn't acceptable. "Hey…" Green eyes finding mine, I give my girlfriend a reassuring smile. "I love you…"

Dropping her gaze, Eliza's shoulders slump a little. "Yeah." She sighs. The door to my office closing, I slump down in her seat and close my eyes. I have to do something. I have to stop this. It hurts too much to see her go through this, and I'm not prepared to sit back and watch her suffer any longer than I have to. Enough is enough.

* * *

I'm a woman on a mission right now. I don't know what my plan is when I get there, but right now I'm making my way to Eliza's mom's hotel. Owning a lot of properties and buildings in this area does sometimes have its perks, and right now is one of those times. She is probably going to slam the door in my face, but I'll be sure to let her know exactly what I think of her before she does so. I'm tired of watching her bring my girlfriend down, and I don't like it. Sure, she is entitled to her opinion and her beliefs, but come on...it's 2017. Are people really still making comments about how it is a sin to be anything other than straight? Do people still truly believe that? I would never disrespect anyone's beliefs, but when it is hurtful to the person I love and when it is directed at them...we are going to have a problem. Now is the time when we have a problem.

Stepping inside the hotel, I head for the reception desk and a well-known face greets me. "What the hell are you doing on this side of town?" Standing and pulling me into a hug, April almost cuts off my circulation. "It's so good to see you, Arizona."

"Really? Because I'm pretty sure you are trying to kill me." Pulling back, she lets me go and returns to her position behind the desk. "How are you?"

"I'm good." She smiles. "Really good."

"I've been meaning to get in touch. I've just had a lot on." Giving my old friend a sad smile, she nods and types away on her keyboard.

"I'm not getting your name in the system, Arizona. Are you booked in under a different name?"

"No, no." I shake my head and try to be as nonchalant as possible. "I'm meeting someone."

"Okay...can I get you a drink while you are waiting," April asks.

"The plan was to just head straight up to the room." I shrug. "I've forgotten the number, though."

"Mm, sure you have." She smirks. "What name is it?"

"Minnick." Clearing my throat, she glances up over the rim of her glasses and I give her a smile.

"318." She states, her tone low. "And I didn't give it to you."

"Thanks, April." Stepping away from the desk, she throws me a wink. "Come over to my place for drinks, okay?"

"Sure, that would be great. I'll call you."

"And I will be waiting for that call…" Hitting the elevator call button, the doors open up and I step inside. Taking my cell from my purse, I check the screen and find a message from my girlfriend.

 ** _Sorry, I let you down at work today. Eliza x_**

 ** _You didn't let me down. I'm proud of you for facing your mom head on. Arizona x_**

 ** _How is the meeting going? Eliza x_**

 ** _Great. Usual antics from McManus so I'll be heading home shortly. Arizona x_**

That's a lie. I canceled my meeting and I chose not to inform Eliza. She will probably find out at some point since she does my scheduling and takes most of my calls…but I'm not worried about that right now. I'm only worried about her.

 ** _Okay, I miss you and I love you…._**

 ** _Right back atcha!_**

Slipping my cell back into my purse, the elevator signals my arrival and I step out into the hall. The bitch from hell's hotel room door coming into view immediately, I knock loudly and pray that this is over soon. No point standing here and trying to prepare myself for this encounter, so it's best to get straight to it. The door opening, she gives me a wide-eyed look and I place my foot inside the door. "I think we need to talk."

"I have nothing to say to you." She tries to close the door but I force my shoulder against it. "Leave!" She demands.

Forcing my way in, I close the door behind me and the realization that the tables are about to turn hits her. "Where do you get off on treating Eliza how you do?"

"My daughter is none of your business."

Laughing, I shake my head and move towards the window. "You know, it's a shame you didn't get the chance to catch up with her while you were here. New York is a beautiful place, full of beautiful things."

"I still have time to speak to her. Make her come to her senses."

"Ah, but that is where you are wrong." I smile. "See, you are going to head home and leave Eliza to live her life."

"Oh, Really?" She scoffs. "And that is just what you want, isn't it?"

"Actually, it's not." I disagree. "I want nothing more than for Eliza to have a healthy loving relationship with her mother. One where she can call her when she is feeling down. One where she can share Thanksgiving with her and Christmas. One where her achievements and successes are acknowledged and celebrated."

"What exactly is your point?"

"You will never give her any of those things, will you? You are nothing more than a bully and I don't like how you speak to her. How you treat her. I mean, will you _ever_ accept her for who she is? Will you _ever_ stand by her decision to love me?" This is her final opportunity to convince me that she is worthy of Eliza's time and attention.

"No." She states, without any hesitation. "I cannot live my life with her in it knowing that she is committing sin after sin. I cannot do it."

"Your love for her doesn't trump that?" I ask, incredulously.

"I cannot have love for her like this. It's not right."

"That is your opinion but you are her mother. She needs you…" I didn't imagine I would be pleading with this woman, but I am. If there is a slight hint of hope for their relationship, then I will drop to my knees and beg her to give her daughter a chance. "Your daughter is the most wonderful and kind-hearted person I have ever met, and I do not understand how you are willing to throw that all away because she loves another woman. I just...I cannot understand it." My own voice breaking, I'm a little shocked. "Please give her a chance. Please just allow her to be happy…"

"She can be happy at home with Peter." _I'm getting nowhere. Absolutely nowhere._ I don't even know why I'm bothering with this woman. "If you really care about her, you will leave her Arizona. You will tell her that you don't want her and she will come home with me. You will deny your love for her and she will live how she is supposed to. You will agree to never see or speak to her again."

Tears in my eyes, I shake myself from my emotions and take a cheque from my purse. "How much?" I ask. "How much for you to leave her alone."

Shrugging, I can see the dollar signs in her eyes and it only makes me hate her more. "You wouldn't." She smirks.

"Wanna bet?" I raise an eyebrow. "Ten...twenty thousand?"

"Mm…" Giving me another shrug, I scoff and roll my eyes.

"How about we just round it off to fifty thousand and you leave on a flight tonight?" The most genuine smile I've ever seen from her beaming from her face, it makes my stomach turn. How this woman ever brought such a gorgeous human being into the world...I'll never know. Eliza is everything she could never possibly be. I hate that I'm paying her mother off, but I fear that this is the only option. I fear that the longer this woman is around, the more damage she will cause to Eliza's life...and our relationship. Signing the cheque, I hand it over to her and she glances over it. "Don't worry, it's real. Just like my nose."

"I could never truly love her." She sighs. "She came from him, and I _hate_ him."

"But she _isn't_ him!" I smile. "If one day you decide that you can allow yourself to love your daughter, by all means, come and visit. But one thing I know about Eliza is that she is going to thrive here...whether _you_ are in her life or not."

Grabbing my purse, I give her mother one final look of complete disgust and head towards the door. "Thank you for bringing her into this world. By doing so, I'm the one who gets to experience everything your amazing daughter has to offer. You, though? You don't _ever_ deserve to be in her life." Stepping back out into the corridor, the tears fall freely and fast. _What the hell have I just done?_ I know it was the right thing to do, but that doesn't mean Eliza will agree with me. I just hope I haven't messed this up.

 _I cannot mess this up…_

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. I don't even have any words for your awesome reviews right now, but thank you….**


	24. Chapter 24

**I own nothing. All characters/storylines belong to Shonda. I'm simply 'borrowing' them.**

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Chapter Twenty-Four

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ELIZA'S POV

* * *

It's been one of the longest days I've had since I arrived in New York, and I've hated every minute of it. I've hated sitting alone in this beautiful yet huge condo, and I've hated being away from my girlfriend. I know she has work to do, and I know that she is an extremely busy woman, but I'm ready to see her now. I'm ready for her arms to hold me and tell me that I'm right where I should be. I want her to just talk to me about absolutely nothing in particular. Be normal. Nothing about this is normal, but I'm tired of my mom being at the forefront of my mind. I'm tired of her ruining my days…I'm tired of her ruining my life.

It's all she seems to be good at, really, but after today in Arizona's office, I'm completely done with her. If she thinks for one minute that I'm going to just turn up at her hotel and give in to her demands, she's sadly mistaken. I don't want to see her. I don't want to speak to her. I don't even want to call her my mom anymore. I actually hate her. It's not like it's the first time she has hit me, but still…at 25 and in my girlfriend's office? That was just embarrassing. Completely embarrassing. What does she expect from me? Does she really want me to go back to Detroit and live the miserable life she has lived for as long as I can remember? It's just not going to happen. It's really not.

The security system alerting me to a form behind the door, the lock clicks, and Arizona comes into view. She looks a little off, but she has just had that meeting with McManus. She's probably not impressed by his advances once again, but all will be okay once she is settled down beside me. "Hey…" I give her a sad smile.

"Hi." She glances up to find me staring at her. Dropping her purse to the floor, she kicks off her heels and begins unbuttoning that crisp white shirt that just hugs her body in all the right places.

"Bad day?" I ask.

"The worst." She sighs. "I'm just going to take a quick shower, okay?"

"Sure." I nod. "Did, um…did you want some company."

Dropping her gaze, she clears her throat and it worries me a little. "Not tonight." She shakes her head slightly and shrugs off her shirt. "Just, I won't be long, okay?" Standing, I move a little closer to her and take her hand in my own. "Eliza…" She breathes out.

"Did something happen?"

"What?" Her eyes shooting up, she gives me a confused look. "No, why? Who said something had happened."

"Um…no one." I laugh. "You just look like something has happened. Is it McManus?"

"McManus?" She furrows her brow. "Oh, no." Waving off my comment, something isn't right. _She_ isn't right. "I'll be out in a few." Watching her walk away, I have a bad feeling about this. I have a bad feeling that she isn't being honest about something, but I don't know what. She's had a busy day at work and I don't imagine anything could have happened that would jeopardize our relationship. And then it hits me… _does she have someone else?_

Grabbing my iPad from the coffee table, I unlock the screen and hit the app which we use to schedule appointments and meetings. Scrolling through today's itinerary, it's there to see…right in front to me.

 **McManus 3:30 - CANCELED**

Why did she cancel that dinner? Arizona isn't the type to let some creep get into her head, and she was more than certain that she was attending it earlier in the day, so why did she suddenly cancel? Why has she came home and insisted she hit the shower immediately? Why is she avoiding eye contact? And why isn't she holding a conversation with me? _Fuck!_

She didn't have anything else booked in after her supposed dinner, and it's almost 6:30 so where the hell has she been for so long? Why has she returned home late if that meeting never went ahead? I mean, if she'd canceled and come straight home, I'd understand…but she didn't. She didn't come home to me, and now I'm left wondering if there is someone else in her life. If there is someone else grabbing her attention. I cannot have a relationship like that. She says she loves me, and maybe she does, but what if she loves someone else, too? What if she is one of those women who need two partners to keep her satisfied? I had my turn in Hawaii, and now it's the other woman's turn to have her to herself.

I know I'm not thinking straight, and I know that this probably couldn't be further from the truth, but my head is a mess right now. Everything I've ever known seems to be a mess, and I can't help but feel like I'm the one who has caused it all. I can't help but feel like I'm the one who is the common denominator in all of this. Settling down on the couch, I throw my iPad to the side of me and hit the power on the TV. I need to think about things before I go running my mouth. I've done that before, and it never helped. Arizona needs my words, not my yelling and my anger, so yeah…I need to think about things.

* * *

I've been sitting here for the past thirty minutes wondering if I should even bring up the cancellation of the meeting with Arizona. I know I should because it will only eat away at me if I don't, but I hate fighting with her. I hate the arguments and I hate the hurt our words sometimes cause. She's been relaxing next to me for the past ten minutes, and she is yet to really hold a conversation with me. I know she has something on her mind, but I can't quite figure it out. She has a _very_ good poker face. One that can be a little annoying at times.

Like, how am I supposed to know if she is pissed off with me or upset if she doesn't show it? How am I supposed to talk things out with her if I can't tell whether she wants to talk or not? It's infuriating at times, but she usually gives me that dimpled smile and I know everything is going to be okay. I'm yet to see that smile tonight, though. I'm yet to see it…and the way I feel right now, I'm not sure I'll ever see it again. "That meeting?" I clear my throat. "How did it go?"

"Not bad." She shrugs. "He was his usual self, though."

"So, why did it take so long if he was creeping?" I give her a look of confusion and she shrugs…again. "You said you'd be out of there if he didn't act professional, but you didn't get home until what? Three hours later…"

"What's with the twenty questions?" She asks a little cold.

"Sorry," I respond, sarcastically. "I didn't know I wasn't to hold a freaking conversation with you unless you instigate it." Shaking my head, I stand and move into the kitchen. Grabbing a bottle of water from the refrigerator, I move back towards the couch and stop dead in front of Arizona. "I'm going to bed."

"Okay." She shrugs her shoulders again and I swear I'm about to scream.

"Are you a child, or?"

"Excuse me?" She scoffs.

"Well, you are doing enough shrugging for an entire kindergarten when asked a question, so?"

"I'm not in the mood, Eliza. Just leave it."

"Leave what?" I ask. "What exactly am I leaving?"

"This conversation." She states as she stands and heads into the kitchen. Pulling a bottle of white from the refrigerator, she pours herself a glass and moves back into the living room. Flopping down on the couch, her eyes are fixed on the TV in front of her but I know she isn't watching whatever the screen is showing. "I thought you were going to bed?" She speaks, her glass resting against her bottom lip.

"Yeah, seems I'm not wanted here so why the hell not…" Turning my back, I drop my shoulders a little and move towards the entrance to our bedroom. "Maybe when you've had some liquid courage, you can tell me _all_ about the wonderful afternoon you have had."

"I wouldn't call work and meetings wonderful, but whatever."

"Work and meetings?" I can't help the laugh that rips from my throat. "You are joking, right?" Moving toward the spot where my iPad is resting, I take it in my hands and tap the screen. "Seems like a really hard day, huh?"

Her eyes widening as she finds her schedule on the screen in front of her, she drops her gaze and closes her eyes. "Eliza…"

"Oh, _now_ you want to talk? Now that you've been caught, you want to explain how your day went?" I spit. "Don't bother explaining, your attitude tonight tells me everything I need to know."

"Caught?" Her eyes find mine and she gives me a look of complete confusion. "Caught doing what?"

"Don't play stupid, Arizona. You may be good at keeping things to yourself, but you're not _that_ good." Shaking my head in disappointment, I drop the iPad down in her lap and she flinches a little. "If you're going to play around, maybe you should do your own scheduling." Giving her a sad smile, her mouth drops open and a look of shock appears on her face. "I don't do sharing, so decide who you want."

"Wait…" She tries to stop me but I carry on through to the bedroom. "Don't walk away from me, Eliza."

"Why?" I turn and throw my hands up. "If I don't walk away, I'll only hear what I _really_ don't want to hear!"

"You really think I'd cheat on you?" Her voice breaking, I'm tired of playing games. "You really think after everything we have been through these past few days, I'd do that to you?"

"Where were you?" I ask.

"It doesn't matter where I was." She sighs.

"Wrong answer." I scoff. "You come home later than you should have and you barely say two words to me. You desperately try to get away from me to take a shower. You won't tell me where you were...so forgive me if I've gotten the wrong impression, but surely you can see how this looks, no?"

"No." She shakes her head. "Actually, I can't."

"So then what? That's it? You're not going to tell me where you were and you just expect me to be okay with that?" I mean, okay...she may not be seeing someone else, but she's still going to have to give me more than what she has already. She's going to have to give me more than nothing at all. "You canceled your meeting, Arizona. Of course, I'm going to think something is going on if you won't tell me and you won't explain why you did so…" Climbing into bed, I pull the cover up and over me and turn my back on the woman standing in the doorway. "I know I caused a scene in your office today, but I've apologized for that. If this is too much, you know what you have to do."

"And what's that?" She asks, her voice a little calmer.

"Tell me to leave…" I sigh. "Tell me you don't want me, and I'll go." The bed dipping beside me, I bury my head further into the pillow and try to stem the flow of tears that are about to break out any moment now. "Just tell me you don't want me, Arizona. I can't stay here to one day walk in and find you on top of someone else. I can't."

"Look at me, Eliza." Her own voice filled with hurt, I shake my head and she tugs at my shoulder. "Please?" Turning, I lie on my back and stare up at the ceiling above me. I can't look at her. I can't because I'm scared of what she is going to say. I'm scared that she is going to do as I've just asked. "Don't ever, _ever_ accuse me of cheating on you again. I'd never do that to you, and I thought you knew that."

"What else am I supposed to think?" My voice breaking, tears slip down my face and hit the pillow beneath me. "You won't tell me where you have been…"

"Because I'm mad. At myself and your mom." She cries. "You want to know why I canceled that meeting? I canceled it because I was so freaking mad at your mom that I couldn't sit and talk business with anyone today!"

"O-Oh." I drop my gaze. _Talk about getting things wrong._ "B-But you didn't come home. Why didn't you come home?"

"I had someplace to be…" She breathes out, tears collected at her jawline. "Just, I had to do something."

"You had to do something about what?"

"I went to the hotel, Eliza." Okay, she's lost me. She's completely lost me. "I'm sorry…"

"What hotel?" I furrow my brow. "Arizona, you aren't making much sense right now."

"Seven." She speaks, barely above a whisper. "I went to Seven."

"W-Why?" My heart dropping into my stomach, I close my eyes and try to breathe. "Why did you go there?"

"I'm so sorry. I know this is none of my business, but I had to do something. I had to just talk to her. I mean, she hit you, Eliza. _Nobody_ hits you!"

"It's nothing new." I shrug. "I'm used to everything you have seen from my mom these past few days. _Everything._ "

"That doesn't make what she did right, Eliza." I can see the anger in her eyes, and it's weirdly calming. Like, she cares that much that she is feeling this just as much as me. "I asked her." She admits. "I asked her if she could ever begin to accept you. Us. I asked her if she could one day take you for who you are."

"That is never going to happen." I give her a sad smile but her eyes tell me this isn't the end of it. Her eyes tell me that she is holding something back.

"You know I love you, right?" Her thumb brushing over my cheek, I give her a nod and close my eyes. "You know that I'd never do anything to hurt you…"

"I do." I agree. "I'm sorry I freaked out just then. Just…nothing made any sense. You canceling...you should have just told me, Arizona."

"I couldn't." She drops her gaze and toys with the cover beneath her. "I just, it's complicated, huh?"

"Oh, I know it's complicated. My entire life has been complicated." Taking her hands in my own, I brush her hair from her face and her eyes find mine. "I'm so sorry." Fresh tears falling, I furrow my brow and pull her into me. "I just…I thought I was doing the right thing. I thought I was helping."

"Arizona, stop apologizing. You went there to talk with her, and I'm assuming you had the same outcome as we have the other times you guys have met. She probably insulted you, then me, then us…and then kicked you out. I know how it goes…"

"Except she didn't." Pulling back, she looks empty. Like, the world is about to end.

"Okay…" I draw out. "So, if she didn't insult you, what _did_ she say?"

"Just the usual. That she could never accept us. That she could never have you in her life while we are together. She told me that you could be happy at home with her when I questioned whether losing you was really worth it. She just wasn't backing down."

"Yeah, that sounds like her." I sigh.

"Do you want to go and talk with her, Eliza? I need to know before I say anything else to you…"

"No," I reply. I don't even have to think about it. My mom has brought me nothing but hurt and pain, so no…I don't ever want to see her again.

"You're sure?" She raises her eyebrow and I give her a nod. "Because she's gone, Eliza. She's left New York, I think."

"Yeah?" A smile appearing on my face for the first time since my mom arrived here, I hope she isn't playing with me right now. "She's gone? I don't have to worry about her showing up here again?"

"No, baby." I'd expect my girlfriend to be happier than she is, but she looks…unsure. "She won't be bothering you again."

"How the hell did you manage that? I've been trying to shake her off for years and she just kept coming back." Laughing, I pull her into a hug but she doesn't reciprocate. "Um, why aren't you happy about this?" I pull back. "I know she's my mom and I shouldn't be this happy, but I am. You should be too, Arizona. I can do whatever the hell I want now."

"Eliza…"

"What?" I yelp. "What's the problem?"

"I-I…" Shaking her head, she clears her throat and swallows hard. "I paid her off."

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Again, your response has been amazing. Thanks for sticking with me.**


	25. Chapter 25

**I own nothing. All characters/storylines belong to Shonda. I'm simply 'borrowing' them.**

* * *

Chapter Twenty-Five

* * *

ARIZONA'S POV

* * *

I've never known silence like this. Eliza is sitting in front of me, and I feel like my world is about to crumble around me. Her eyes searching my face, I don't know what it is she is looking for. I'm not going to lie about something like that. I'm not going to make a joke like that. Why would I? I guess it could be pretty unbelievable, though. I want her to say something. No, I _need_ her to say something. I just don't know what. I mean, what exactly do you say to the woman who has just paid your mom to leave town? Thanks? Why? Fuck you? I really don't know what is about to happen, but I feel like I'm on the outside looking in. Standing from the bed, I grab a hoodie that is folded on the window seat and shrug it on. "I, uh…I'll leave you alone." Giving her one final look, her eyes once again find mine, but she doesn't say anything.

I can't quite make out what that look means, but I don't like it. Was I stupid to do what I did? Eliza already struggles with the money side of my life, so yeah…I think it was pretty damn stupid to pay her mom to leave. Will I ever learn that money doesn't always solve problems? Will I? Judging by the mess I've made right now, I'm going to say that it's a hard no. "I'll see you later." I sigh. "I love you…"

"Where are you going?" She asks, her voice barely above a whisper. It's a heartbreaking sound, but I don't know what else to do right now.

"Just…out."

"Why?" She snorts. "You paid for me, so now you have to deal with me…"

"Eliza, please don't say that." My heart crumbling in my chest, I've never felt so hurt by somebody's words before. I know she is probably angry right now, but I thought I was doing the right thing. I thought I was making this easier for her. "I just wanted to give you some space."

"Mm, space." She nods. "I don't think I need space…I think _you_ need a refund."

"Please, don't." Moving towards the entrance of our bedroom, I pull my hoodie tighter around me. "I'll just hang down in the lobby for a little while." Thank God that place has a bar. Thank God I can at least drown my mistakes while she decides if she even wants to be with me anymore. I could hear that uncertainty in her voice just now. When she suggested that I _paid_ for her, I could hear the disgust in her voice.

Grabbing my cell from the kitchen counter, I glance around for my key and find Eliza standing behind me. Startled, I place my hand over my chest and she furrows her brow. "What? Did you really think I was going to let you leave and not talk this through with me?"

"I don't know…" I breathe out. "I just don't know what you want me to do right now."

"I want you to explain why the hell you thought it was appropriate to pay my mom off." Her eyebrow raised, it isn't in jest. This is anything but funny. "Well?"

"I'm not talking about it while you are like this." Shaking my head, I grab my key card and move towards the door. "I don't want to fight with you…"

"Don't you _dare_ walk away from me, Arizona." Her words stopping me in my tracks, my shoulders slump and I turn back to find complete disappointment written all over her beautiful face. "You created this mess, so you can damn well explain yourself."

"I-I created this mess?" I counter. "How exactly did I do that? By loving you? By wanting you to be happy? Tell me, Eliza, how the _hell_ did I create this mess? It's not my fault your mom won't allow this. It's not my fault that she is a vile person." My voice raised, she is a little taken back by my tone, but I don't regret it. If I did, it would mean she was right, and in this moment…she is totally out of line. "You just don't get it, do you? How much I love you…how much I want to spend the rest of my life with you." Laughing, I shake my head and throw my keys down on the table beside the door. "You think that this is all about you, but it's not, Eliza. You forget that your mom insulted me, called me a monster and an animal…basically accused me of holding you against your will and taking advantage of you… Do you have any idea how that makes me feel? Do you have any idea how awful I feel just for simply loving you? You know…I could have walked away weeks ago. I could have kicked you to the gutter and let you go…but I didn't."

"If you think that you could have done that, why didn't you?"

"Because I love you!" Now screaming at each other, this conversation is going nowhere. I'm not doing this right now. I'm not explaining myself when I've done nothing wrong. Not really. So I gave her mom some cash, big fucking deal. If it gets her out of my life, I'd do it ten times over. "Don't bother following me. At least, not until you realize that I'm in this too. Not until you realize that you aren't the only one who is hurt by your mom's actions. I did what I did because I love you. Make of that what you will. I don't care anymore." Picking up my key, I head out onto my private landing and slam the heavy metal door shut. I've never raised my voice to anyone like that before, but this isn't fair to me. Yes, I paid her mom off, but I didn't do it for the fun of it. I did it because I believed it was the right thing to do.

* * *

Waking to the bright autumn New York sun streaming through my window, I glance around and my head pounds. Last night I drank the bar dry down in the lobby, and this morning I don't feel so good. Eliza called me multiple times last night, but I wasn't feeling that mood. I just wanted to sit with my own thoughts and drink the night away…so I did. It must have been near to 2 am when I came back up to my condo, and she was already in bed and sleeping. I'd thought about waking her, but I could barely hold myself up never mind a conversation. It just wasn't happening last night.

Swinging my legs over the edge of the couch, I throw the blanket from my body and stand. _Ugh! I hate that feeling._ My body swaying a little, I'm pretty sure I'm still drunk. Glancing at the clock, it's a little after 8 am, so yeah, I'm still drunk. I can hear running water so I know Eliza is awake and preparing for the day ahead, but I decide against joining her in the shower. We aren't in that good place right now, and sex will not fix this. I'm not sure what is going to fix this if I'm being completely honest. My cell buzzing against the coffee table, I glance down and find my moms name on the screen.

 ** _Planning to fly in a few days early. Wanting to catch up with my beautiful daughter…_**

 ** _Hey, mom. Could you give me a day or so? You know I can't wait to see you, but Eliza has some stuff going on right now and I'm not sure how much fun either of us will be. Xx_**

 ** _No problem. Everything okay? Mom x_**

 ** _Honestly, I don't know. I'll call you tomorrow. Xx_**

 ** _You know where I am if you need me. I love you, Arizona. Mom x_**

 ** _I love you, too. Xx_**

Smiling at my cell, I don't hear Eliza approaching me from the other end of the hallway. Setting it down, I glance up and she is leaning against the frame of the corridor. "Wasn't sure you'd even come home last night."

"Needed some time to myself." I shrug. Rounding the kitchen counter, I power up the coffee machine and the aroma relaxes me a little. Just a little coffee and I'll be good to go. I know I went through at least two bottles of wine last night, and I'm pretty sure I had a good go at the very expensive scotch whilst I was at it. I feel disgusting, but I needed the blown out. I needed the pity party alone to allow my anger time to subside. "Did you want coffee, or?"

"If you're making some, yeah." Closing the distance between us a little, her elbows rest on the kitchen island and she watches my every move. I'm definitely a little unsteady on my feet this morning, but it's been a while since I've given the alcohol a good go. Sometimes it's just needed…even if it doesn't solve any of my problems. "Where did you go last night?"

"I told you I would be down in the lobby bar." I give her a raised eyebrow and she drops her gaze. "What? Did you think I was out _buying_ another young brunette?" _That was harsh._ Regretting the words as soon as they leave my mouth, I sigh and run my fingers through my hair. "I'm sorry."

"No, I deserved that." She admits. "I just…I don't like what you did, Arizona. I don't like it at all."

"And I don't like your mother, so I guess we are even."

"Look, can we stop with the short smart ass comments and talk this out? Please…"

"Okay." Giving her a nod, I hand her a cup of coffee and she moves towards the spot I've just spent the night sleeping on. The couch. I swear this couch is soon going to become a place for therapy. "I don't like how you spoke to me last night, Eliza. That wasn't fair. I already feel terrible for what I did, and then you go and suggest that I paid your mom to have you to myself…that's not what I was doing."

"I know." She sighs. "I just…why did you do it? Why did you give her money?"

"Because she had made it perfectly clear that she wasn't going to go for this. She was never going to agree with us or our relationship." Her mother's words going around and around in my head, I have to hold back my emotions. "The second I pulled out that cheque, Eliza, I knew how she really felt. I knew she would never welcome you as you are. I asked her. I begged her. It wasn't my intention to go there and beg and plead with her, but I did. I mean, I wasn't on my hands and knees in front of her, but I didn't go there like a bat out of hell, either."

"I just feel like you've bought me. I feel like my mother has just sold me to you…"

"Hey…" Taking her hand in my own, she drops her gaze and toys with my fingertips. "That's isn't how I felt about it. I just wanted her away from you. I mean, if you feel you need to go and see her, or speak to her, do it…but she told me to leave you, Eliza. She told me to tell you that I didn't want you."

"How much?" She asks.

"How much what?" I know what she is asking, but I'm trying to stall right now.

"How much am I worth?" My heart breaking as those words fall from her mouth, I wipe away the tears that are falling from my eyes and shake my head.

"It wasn't like that, Eliza, and how much I gave her doesn't matter."

"It matters to me." She spits. "I want to know how much my mother would sell me off for. Well, not would, but did."

"Please stop saying that. I cannot sit here and listen to you saying that. I didn't buy you, and I certainly didn't accept her offer to sell you to me. I asked her how much to leave you alone. That is totally different…"

"You may see it that way, but I don't. However you dress it up, Arizona, my mom still accepted payment from you to get me out of her life. That fucking hurts…" She sighs. "Whether I hate her or not, it's irrelevant."

"Fifty…" I sigh.

"I hope to god that you are talking fifty bucks right now."

"No." My eyes searching her face she cannot even look at me. "I know you're hurting, and I understand why, but please believe me when I say that how it seems to you, is never how I intended it to be. Can you please just forget it ever happened? I don't want to do this anymore with you, Eliza. I don't want to fight about it. You were so happy last night when I told you that she had left New York, can you not just be happy again and we can move forward?"

"I just...yeah, I get it." She agrees. "Just don't ever do anything like that again, okay? I appreciate that you were only doing what you thought was best, but I'm sure there would have been another way."

"You think?" I scoff. "I've only known your mother for what?! A few days…and even I know that she would have come back repeatedly."

"Yeah...I guess you're right."

"I did thank her, though." Smiling, I place my coffee cup down and pull her a little closer to me. "For bringing you into my life."

"Oh, I bet that went down well." Her arms wrapping around my waist, she settles between my legs and I place a kiss on top of her damp hair.

"She didn't care what I had to say at that point. She already had the cheque in her hand by then."

"You know, there is still time to have the cheque canceled." I appreciate her suggestion but it's not necessary. That money will not be missed, and if it keeps her mom out of our lives, that is good enough for me.

"I think I'd sooner she took the money, Eliza."

"She won't even know what to do with it." She laughs that infectious laugh and it sends a shiver down my spine. "Maybe having it will prevent her from being a cold-hearted bitch for five minutes."

"Maybe." I shrug. "You no longer have to worry about her, so what do you say that we head out tonight for one super fancy dinner and I show you off to the world?"

"You want to show me off?" She laughs. "Really?"

"Damn right I do." Leaving no room for argument, she lifts her head a little and drops light kisses along my jawline. "I mean, have you actually seen you?"

"Um…"

"Just say yes, Eliza." Rolling my eyes, she gives me a genuine smile and I know that she is slowly coming to terms with what I did yesterday. I know she is feeling hurt and I know that she is feeling unwanted, but now where I'm concerned. I'll never not want her. I just hope that she knows that. "Well?"

"Yes, Arizona. Dinner would be amazing."

"Good. There is a new dress in the closet for you."

Giving me a raised eyebrow, I simply shrug. "Arizona…" She breathes out. "I know that you are hurt, too. I know that you are in this with me and that my mother's actions hurt you just as much as they hurt me. I also know that you were the one to bear the brunt of it while she was here, so thank you. Thank you for protecting me and taking care of me. Thank you for being the one who I officially come out with. It may not seem like a big deal to you, but to me, it means the absolute world. I don't ever want to be with anyone else, and I plan on showing _you_ off tonight."

"Thank you for not holding it against me too much." I smile. "I just wanted to help you, Eliza. I'll always want to help you. If that meant doing what I did, I don't regret it. I know you don't like it, and I know that I unintentionally hurt you by doing it, but I still don't regret it. No amount of money in the world could ever compare to the love I have for you. I hope you know that. I'd have given her every dime I had if it meant she would leave you to enjoy your life…I would."

"I'm sorry I was so hard on you. I know you meant well."

"I knew the second I'd left her hotel that I'd messed up, but it was too late to take it back. It was too late to do anything other than come home to you." I state. "I still cannot believe you accused me of cheating, though. That was a low blow."

"I was an absolute mess last night, Arizona. Please forgive me?"

"Already have." Pulling her further up my body, her head rests against my chest and her heart beats against my own.

"Can we stay like this for a little while?" She asks. "Before we head to the office?"

"For a while?" I ask. "I don't plan on moving for the rest of the day. No office for us. I'm slowly dying and I need to sleep a little longer."

"Hangover?" She smirks.

"Maybe just a little one…"

"Well, you only have yourself to blame." Shaking my head at the lack of sympathy from my girlfriend, she is right. This could have been figured out last night, but I had to go and drink myself into oblivion. I had to go and leave her waiting for me to return home. Was it worth it? No.

 _Sleeping alone on the couch will NEVER be worth it…_

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome as always. Next chapter will be a little lighter. I can hear the sighs of relief from where I'm sitting….**


	26. Chapter 26

***Not Safe For Work***

 **I own nothing. All characters/storylines belong to Shonda. I'm simply 'borrowing' them.**

* * *

Chapter Twenty-Six

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ELIZA'S POV

* * *

My heart is beating out of my chest right now. In the next twenty minutes, I will be leaving with Arizona for a beautiful dinner and maybe some drinks afterwards. We've decided to just go with it...she how the night goes. I know exactly how I want the night to go, but I was unpleasant to Arizona last night and I'm not sure that we are back to our normal place just yet. She's seemed okay for most of the day, but the majority of her time has been spent napping. She claims that she wasn't and that she was watching movies with me, but every time I glanced her way...she was sleeping. She was _definitely_ sleeping. I didn't even have to look at her to know, I could tell by her breathing.

Arizona has been getting ready since forever, and she's only making me more nervous. I have on the most amazing blue dress, and honestly...I'm scared to even move in it. I know it has cost a fortune, but it was a gift and I'm trying to be appreciative of what I receive from my girlfriend. I think we have established that she is a major gift giver, so I kinda just have to get over it since she hasn't lessened those gifts in the time we have been together.

The sound of the bathroom door lock clicking, I pace the floor in my new Louboutin heels and I hear her own heels clicking against our expensive flooring. Yeah, I went there...I referred to something as being ours. Inhaling deeply, I glance up and I swear my girlfriend has just blinded me with pure beauty. Her hair curled above her shoulder, her smokey eyes send my head into a spin. My eyes raking down her body, I find the smallest, but sexiest black dress my eyes have ever witnessed, and honestly, I'm not sure we are even going to make it out of this place. Swallowing hard as my eyes land on her heels, I look back up at her and my mouth hangs open. "Um…wow." I'm actually speechless right now. I'm not often left speechless, but holy shit! This woman has just completely knocked it out of the park tonight, and I don't think I want the public to see her.

"Are you just going to stand there staring or are you going to come on over here and give me a kiss?" Her voice low, I close the distance between us and my hand finds her hip. Her hip that is covered by a very tight, very short black dress. My lips pressing against hers, I'm pretty sure she can hear my heartbeat right now. "Mm, that's better." Her fingers lacing with my own, she gives me a smile and we head for the door. "You got everything you need?" She asks.

"Yeah." I smile. "Right beside me." Stepping out onto the landing, the elevator doors open and we head inside. "Where are we headed?"

"Literally down the street." She hits the button that will take us to the lobby. "I want to stay close to home."

"Why?" My brow furrowed, she leans in and places a kiss below my ear.

"Because my girlfriend is looking super gorgeous tonight and I don't want anything to get in the way of me bringing her home when I need to."

"When you need to?"

"Mmhmm…" Facing straight ahead, she bites down on her bottom lip and I quickly realize what she is trying to say.

"You'll be lucky if we make it back upstairs the way you are looking tonight." My hand slipping around her back, it drops to her ass and I give it a firm squeeze. "Just…God!"

"So, you like what you see?" She smirks.

"No, I _love_ what I see." Coming to stand in front of her, my body presses against her own and she releases a gasp as my thigh slips between her legs. "You are all that I see, Arizona."

The elevator signaling our arrival at the lobby, she groans and I pull back, smirking. "That's was cruel."

"Mmhmm…" I nod. "But it will be _so_ worth it. I can promise you that." Stepping out of the carriage, she takes my hand in my own and gives me a questioning look. "That feels so good."

"Yeah?"

"Like you couldn't imagine." I smile. "Now, let's do this."

* * *

Settling back in my seat, dinner was amazing. Arizona has been her typical self so I shouldn't be surprised but the whole pulling out of chairs and holding doors open for me is adorable. She is adorable. I know we had a little moment in the elevator before, but we've settled ourselves down. Sexy times can happen later. We have all the time in the world for that. Sliding her hand across the table, it finds my own and Arizona's eyes shine like never before. "You doing okay?" She asks.

"Amazing." I breathe out. "Being out with you like this is amazing."

"I'm happy you feel that way…" She smiles. "You know, I was thinking once we've gotten the cheque, we will head next door and end this evening with a few cocktails, what do you say?"

"I say yes." Giving her a nod and a smile of my own, she gives my hand a firm squeeze and sits back in her seat.

"How was dinner?"

"Beautiful." Pushing my plate away, I'm comfortably satisfied. These light meals are working wonders for my body, and I could easily get used to them. Calling for the cheque, Arizona gives me a smile and I lean over a little closer to her. "Please let me get dinner tonight?" I've received my first month's pay and honestly, I'm struggling to spend it. I've never seen that many zeros in my account before.

Eyeing me up, she gives me a small nod. "Okay…" I know it's going to be more than I'd usually earn in a month, but still…I'm not earning terrible pay any more, and for once, I'd like to pay for something. "Thank you."

"No, thank you." I smile. "I know you are trying…"

"I'm just not used to someone else picking up the bill, is all." Taking a sip of red, she licks her lips and it sets my body on fire. "Dinner was amazing."

"Mm, it was." My eyes fixed on her lips, they dip a little and I find myself staring at her cleavage. Clearing her throat, my eyes shoot back up to her face. "S-Sorry…"

"Don't ever apologise for checking me out." She laughs. "I'd be more concerned if you weren't." Paying for our meal, I roll my eyes and laughs. Tonight has been nice. It's been everything I could have hoped for. "Shall we get out of here?" Her eyebrow raised, I stand and grab my purse. Rounding the table, Arizona places her hand against the small of my back and guides me out of the restaurant. Stepping out onto the street, the cool air hits us both but it feels good. Everything about tonight feels good. "You okay?" Its kinda sweet how she is always concerned about me, but yeah...I'm more than okay right now. Giving her a smile and a nod, her arm wraps around my waist and we head for the bar Arizona has been wanting to try out. Stepping inside, her hand never leaves my body and I know she is making sure people know I belong to her. She is letting everyone know in this place that I'm taken. I mean, if I was on the outside looking in...I wouldn't mess with her, so I'm pretty sure people know to keep clear. A few smiles from other customers, we head for the bar and my girlfriend places our drinks order. "You look really beautiful tonight." Placing a kiss below my ear, she smiles against the skin of my neck. "And really hot." Her hand gently running up and down my back, I know she is just as eager to get home as I am.

"You bought this dress purely for that reason alone, didn't you?" Narrowing my eyes, she gives me a light shrug and bites down on her bottom lip. "Mm...thought so."

"Hey, I can't help it if I have _the_ hottest woman in the world in my bed each night." I love how nonchalant she is with her comments. "And yeah, I knew how well you would work the dress."

Handing me my drink, we head for a table out of the way and take a seat. Her hand placed on my thigh, she runs her thumb across the material and she knows exactly what she is doing. She knows how turned on I get when she touches me like that. Like, it could be considered totally normal, but when she does it...it just makes me want her more than I already do.

"Oh my god! Ari…" Arizona's head shooting up, a huge smile beams from her face and she jumps up and pulls some unknown woman into a hug. "How the hell are you?"

"I'm good." She pulls back, her hand still on this woman's hip. "Really good."

"It's been what? Wow, it must be at least a year since I last saw you…" Pulling my girlfriend into another hug, I roll my eyes and sip on my drink. "And who is this?" I hear her ask, her voice low.

"This is my girlfriend, Eliza." Giving me a smile, I've no idea who she is. I don't know her, but I don't like how her hand is on Arizona's body. Are people always so touchy-feely? _Ugh!_ "Eliza, this is Alexis."

"Nice to meet you." Giving her a fake smile, Arizona narrows her eyes and recognizes my sarcasm immediately. "I'm just going to use the restroom." Standing, I grab my purse and head further back into the bar. I can feel my girlfriend's eyes on me, but I don't turn back. She knows I'm onto her. She knows that I know she once had a thing with Alexis. Ugh, a gorgeous name for a gorgeous woman. Her black hair flowing past her ass, she must easily be nearing six foot with legs that go on forever. _Yeah, they definitely had a thing._ Her cleavage was also leaving very little to the imagination. She's Arizona's type of woman...I could tell just by them standing next to each other.

Coming to stand in front of the mirror, I check myself out in the mirror and I'm satisfied with what I see. I'm hot, I know I am. Alexis can go and take a hike for all I care. Applying some fresh gloss to my lips, I grab my purse and head back outside. Taking a different route back to the bar, I can see Arizona still talking with her ex-whatever she is and I place an order for more drinks. "Let me get those for you…" A sultry voice washes over my ear and I catch sight of a very busty redhead standing next to me.

"Thanks, but I've got it." Giving her a genuine smile, she steps a little closer to me and her hand grazes my own. _Jesus, can't anybody keep it in their pants in this city?_ My attention back on the bar, I catch Arizona watching me, her eyes narrowed and her focus totally on the woman beside me. Alexis is still talking in her ear and being a little handsy, but I'm no longer concerned. I've grabbed my girlfriend's attention, and I can see the jealousy in those beautiful blue eyes. I can feel her heart pounding from the other side of the room. _Let's play!_ Turning back to the redhead, her eyes find the necklace hanging just above my breasts and she takes it in her hand.

"That is beautiful." Her fingers grazing my skin, I simply smile. "You're not from round here, are you?"

"No," I state. "I'm new in town."

"Maybe I need to show you around sometime?" She raises her eyebrow and I shrug. "You up for it?"

"Oh, I don't know." Turning back to the bar, I glance over to our original table and find Arizona is no longer there. _Shit!_

"How about we get out of here right now and I'll show you a good ti-" I'm about to turn and walk away when I feel a body press against me, effectively trapping me against the bar. The redhead beside me is cut off by the sight of Arizona pressing her lips against my neck from behind, and I can't help the smirk that appears on my face.

" I think it's time that we left...don't you?" A little uncertain as to how she is feeling judging by her tone of voice, the redhead walks away and I turn in Arizona's arms. "Well?"

"I just ordered us more drinks."

"Leave them!" Grabbing my purse from the bar, she takes my hand in her own and pulls me away from the counter. My heels hitting the concrete outside, she doesn't slow her stride, and she doesn't look my way. Her condo coming into view, I can't help but watch her ass as she drags me across the street. "Move your ass, Eliza."

"Why?" I laugh. "Yours is moving enough for the both of us." Stepping inside the entrance of her block, she gives John a smile and continues to pull me through the lobby. "Evening, John." Throwing a wave over my shoulder, he tips his hat and the elevator doors open. Disappearing inside, my back connects with the wall and Arizona presses herself against me.

"Do you think that it's acceptable to have another woman's hands on you?" Her eyes almost black, she forces her center against my own and I release a deep throaty moan. "Don't play games, Eliza. Answer me!"

"Well, if it's going to get you worked up like this...yeah, I think it's more than acceptable." My lips inching closer to her own, her eyes close and I run my tongue across her bottom lip. "Jealousy will get you everywhere, Arizona."

My hand slipping beneath the hem of her dress, I drag my nails up the inside of her thigh and her knees almost buckle. "You seem to think that it's okay to have someone else's hands on _you,_ so I figured it was only fair." The elevator doors opening, I push her shoulders and we stumble out onto her private landing. "Open the door, beautiful." My lips working the skin of her neck, she fumbles around in her purse for her key card and I groan in frustration. The sound of a beep, followed by a click, her door swings open and I force her inside.

Our heels hitting hardwoods, she attempts to kick hers off but I tangle my fingers in her hair and tug her head back a little to meet my gaze. "Don't even think about taking them off!" Smirking, she grabs a handful of my breast, and I moan in delight at the sensation she is sending straight to my core. Pushing her body back, it connects with the wall nearest to the window and I pin her arms up above her head. Teeth clashing and tongues fighting for that dominance we both so desperately crave, she moans into my mouth and bites down on my bottom lip.

"I wasn't jealous." She pants as her lips move to my jawline.

"Sure you weren't." My free hand weaving around her back, I grip her ass and she wraps her leg around my waist. "You know, I hated seeing her hands on you, too." Biting down on her shoulder, she hisses in both pleasure and pain. "You're mine, Arizona."

"Fuck." Her chest heaving, my fingers meet dripping arousal as my hand drops further down inside her thigh. "And no panties, huh?"

"For you…" She moans. "I-I left them at home, for you."

"Mm, you love knowing people want you, don't you? You love knowing that all eyes are on you in town." My words causing her to force her hips into my own, I pull my body back ever so slightly to stop her from getting what she wants. "How many of them? How many of them have seen you naked? Screamed your name? Fucked you all night long?"

"N-None of them." She whines as she desperately seeks friction.

"That's a lie." I scoff as I turn her, her face now pressing against the wall. "But none of them will ever be as good as me. None of them will ever make you feel how I'm about to make you feel…" Brushing her curls from the back of her neck, I run the flat of my tongue up towards her ear and keep a firm grip on her hands. _She loves this. She isn't even fighting me._ "Tonight…" I breathe against her ear. "...you are going to come…" Biting down on her earlobe, the moan she releases sends my head into a spin. "...harder than you ever have in your fucking life."

"Ugh, do it." She moans...her cheek pressing against the wall. "Just do it, Eliza."

"Now that would be giving you what you want, wouldn't it?" Shifting her towards the window seat, I release her hands and she places them flat against the window. "But I'm the kinda person who likes to please her girl, so I'll give you exactly what you want." Lifting her tight dress a little, it gathers around her waist and she spreads her legs. "On your knees." Watching as my girlfriend climbs up onto the window seat, my mouth runs dry at the image in front of me. "Holy shit!"

"You asked for this, Eliza…do something about it." Her voice a little harsh, I know she is only playing around with me.

"Are you wet, Arizona?" Pressing my front against her ass, she grinds back against me and I slip my hand around the front of her. Dipping my hand a little further down, the back of my hand brushes against her core and it sends her crazy.

"So wet…" She whispers as her hands press painfully against the glass in front of her. "I need you now, Eliza…please?"

"Oh, I see your attitude has changed." Removing my hand from between her legs, I push her forward and bend down, my teeth sinking into her ass. Running the flat of my tongue across the reddened area, she hisses and I cant help but move my mouth further down, and in between her legs. My tongue running through soaked folds, the gasp that leaves her throat is beyond sexy. Lapping up her arousal, she forces her center back against my mouth but I pull away.

"Baby, please?" My fingers curling beneath the hem of her dress, I lift it up and over her head. The heels, though? They stay on. There is no way those are coming off. My girlfriend now completely naked except for her heels, I quickly realize that I will never ever find anyone like her. My fingertips grazing down her spine, she shivers under my touch and I'm a little proud of myself. I make her feel this way, not anybody else. "Eliza…" She breathes out.

Placing light kisses down her gorgeous soft back, my nails drag over her ass and I swiftly enter her with two fingers. Her breath hitching as I hit her deep, my left-hand weaves around to the front of her body and I take her nipple between my finger and thumb. Writhing against my body, the New York lights are the only thing illuminating the room. Turning her head slightly, her profile glows against the skyline and it only motivates me to love this woman unconditionally for the rest of my life. "I don't want anybody else's hands on you, Arizona." My lips pressing against her ear, her eyes close and she takes everything I'm giving her. Slipping a third finger deep inside, she laces our fingers together and my thrusts increase. Holding her, our hands connected like never before, she braces herself on her right hand against the window and matches my thrusts. "I love you…" Her knees shaking, I tighten my grip around her waist and she regains her balance a little.

"Fuck, Eliza…don't stop." Her voice low, I smile against the side of her face and place a kiss on her jawline. "Don't ever stop…"

"Never, baby." Grinding my own center against her ass, it only strengthens my thrusts. I'm deeper than ever before and everything about this moment is perfect. Jealousy isn't always a bad thing so long as it's a healthy jealousy. I did what I did tonight because I knew that this would be the reaction. I knew this would be the outcome. Curling my fingers, I hit that spot that drives her insane. Her hand falling from the window, she is now on all fours but something tells me that she is struggling to keep herself upright. "Turn around, beautiful."

Slipping out of her, she groans at the loss of contact but turns around and lies flat on her back. Pulling my dress from my body, I drop it to the floor and she gives me a dimpled smile. "That's better." She bites down on her lip and I slip a knee between her legs. Running my tongue up my fingers, she groans at the sight. "That's hot."

"And you taste amazing." I smile. Slipping back inside of her, she grips me by the back of the neck and pulls me down so my face is millimeters from her own. "I love being here with you like this."

"And that is how it's always going to be." Resuming my movements deep inside of her, her breath hitches as I slam home repeatedly. "Eliza, fuck!" Her walls squeezing my fingers, I know she is close. I know she is desperate for release.

"You wanna come?" I smirk.

"God, yes." I'm giving it to her good, but I'm keeping her on that edge. She needs a little more. Brushing my thumb over her throbbing clit, her mouth falls open and her grip on my neck tightens. One hand gripping my shoulder, the pain of her nails digging in feels amazing. Wrapping her legs around my waist, her heels dig into the back of my thighs and I've never known anything as hot as this moment right now. My head resting in the crook of her neck, her body is damp with a light sheen of sweat. Her lips ghosting over my ear, I shudder and feel her near the edge. "I need you. I'll always need you…"

"Come for me, Arizona." Her grip around my waist tightening, her heel digs into my ass as she forces my fingers deeper than ever before. "That's it…" I breathe out, my arm burning. "You know exactly what you need." A final swipe of my thumb over her aching clit, her body convulses beneath me and my name rips from her throat. Riding out one hell of an orgasm, I slow my pace and she moans with every slow thrust I give her. "You are so fucking beautiful." My lips pressing against her own, she smiles against my lips and my pace slows to a stop. Her body at the height of sensitivity, I brush my thumb over her clit once more and the shockwave it sends through her body causes her back to lift from the soft cushion below her.

"I love you…" She whispers as she tries to control her breathing. "And I'm sorry about before at the bar."

"We'll get to that another time…" I smile before dropping light kisses along her mouth. "I haven't quite finished with you yet."

"Mm, that sounds interesting." Pulling her up into a seated position, I disappear between her legs and prepare myself for another round with this smoking hot woman I have all to myself. Her breath beginning to hitch again, I allow myself to get lost in a world where only Arizona and I exist. A world where anything is possible.

 _A world made only for us…._

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome as always.**

 **Apologies if you opened this at work. My bad….**

 **HAPPY GREY'S DAY!**


	27. Chapter 27

**So, I'm not even sure who is still with me and Ariliza since last night happened, but if you are….Awesome. Continue!**

 **I own nothing. All characters/storylines belong to Shonda. I'm simply 'borrowing' them.**

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Chapter Twenty-Seven

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ARIZONA'S POV

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Waking to the sound of my alarm blaring through the room, I groan and nuzzle deeper into my girlfriend's chest. I don't want to wake up, and I certainly don't want to get up. I know there are things I could be doing, but that doesn't mean I actually _want_ to do them. Honestly, I just want to lie in bed all day with Eliza. I want to not move from this spot until at least dinner time. I don't even care about food or coffee right now. I'm feeling nothing but pure love radiating from her, and the comfort I'm in…well, let's just say I could die right now and I'd have been the happiest in the world. Throwing my arm out of the bed, I hit snooze and groan into her chest.

Glancing up, I realize that I'm pretty close to my alarm clock right now. How is it that in a super king size bed, I've managed to be hanging off the edge? My girlfriend, however, is sprawled out without a care in the world. Gently bringing my hand up to her face, I slowly pinch her nose and she gasps for breath. Shooting up out of the bed, her arm pulls from beneath me and I end up face down on the floor. "Ow!"

"Shit, Arizona…are you okay?" Climbing from the bed, she comes to rest on her knees beside me and I roll over, rubbing my forehead. "Baby?"

"Jesus Christ, Eliza. First, you take up all of the bed, and then you throw me from it. Real smooth." I laugh. "I'm okay, though." Climbing to my feet, I suddenly don't feel that comfort I did a few minutes ago.

"I was not taking up all the bed." She defends. Folding her arms over her chest, I jump back into bed and pull the cover up over myself. "Um, what are you doing?"

"I'm going to lie here while you bring me coffee."

"Is that so?" She raises her eyebrow.

"Uh, yeah." I deadpan. "You are the one who has just added to my aching body, so now you will have to wait on me for the rest of the day." Snuggling down, I can't help but laugh. "You do realize you are standing and pouting at me...completely naked, right?"

"And?" She shrugs.

"And it's kinda weirdly adorably hot." I smile. "That coffee ain't going to make itself, beautiful."

"I'm your assistant, Arizona, not your freaking butler." She whines as she pulls on a hoodie and a pair of boy shorts. "AND! You have just totally stolen my spot in the bed."

"Oh, boo-hoo." I roll my eyes, playfully. "The sooner you get that coffee in some cups, the sooner I will let you back into bed."

Watching her walk away with a face like thunder, I hum in appreciation as the warm bed cocoons my naked body. My very naked body. Sitting up on my elbow, I rest my head in the palm of my hand and watch her as she moves around the kitchen. "I could get used to this…"

"Used to what? Me running around after you…"

"No." I give her a sad smile. "You being in the kitchen while I watch you from the bed."

"Uh...that's the same thing." She places her hand on her hip and I rake my eyes over her half-naked body.

"No, it's not. And you aren't my assistant or my butler…you are my girlfriend." I smile. "I'd totally do the same for you…"

"I know you would." Our coffees steaming in their cups, she moves towards the bed and hands me one. "I was just playing with you." Placing her own cup down on the nightstand, she slips back under the covers and rests back against the headboard. "So…" She breathes out.

"So?" Sitting up and resting beside her, I take my coffee in my hands and lace my fingers around the cup.

"Last night, huh?" I hoped she would have forgotten about the build-up to last night, but why would she? Why would she forget about the woman I introduced her to?

"Mm, last night was pretty damn hot." I smile and turn my head slightly to meet her gaze.

"Yeah, so was Alexis." She drops her gaze to her own cup of coffee and gives a small smile. "Who was that? An old friend? Co-worker?"

"My ex," I state. There is no point tiptoeing around this conversation. Eliza isn't stupid, and I have no reason to lie to her. We all have pasts. "Why?" I ask.

"Just…wondered." She shrugs. "She seemed nice."

"She is." I sip on my coffee but keep a check on my girlfriend out of the corner of my eye. "She's a really great girl."

"Okay, no need to big your ex up." I give her an awkward smile. "I'm sure she's great and all, but the less I know...the better."

"She, um…she's back in New York." I state.

"I know." She laughs. "I met her in the flesh last night, remember."

"No, I mean she's home." Raising an eyebrow, she simply shrugs and sips on her coffee. "Just wanted you to know in case she's around."

"Why would she be _around_?"

"She's an architect, too." Clearing my throat, I set my coffee cup down and scoot down the bed a little. "We used to work together."

"Awesome."

"Eliza?" I give her a knowing look and she searches my face. " _I_ broke it off with _her_ , so you really have nothing to worry about. We just, we remained friends. It wasn't a bad breakup or anything like that, so there was no reason to cut contact. I've liaised with her on many projects since we split."

"I'm not worried." She smiles. "I have nothing to worry about, so why bother?"

"Exactly." Alexis was the last relationship I had before I met Eliza. Sure, I dated after I broke up with her, but we were pretty serious at one point. Vacationing together and living together. What I had with her is nothing like what I have with Eliza, though. It never will be, either. The reason I walked away? She wanted an open relationship. I mean, each to their own…but no thanks. That life ain't for me. "Did you want to do anything today?"

"Not really." She shrugs. "Did you?"

"Figured we could grab some coffee and take a walk…I think I could use it after last night's excitement."

"Mm, excitement and jealousy." She teases.

"For the last time…I was not jealous."

"Except you so was." She laughs. "I knew you were watching, you know?"

"Oh, I know you did...that's exactly why I played along with your little game." Taking her coffee cup from her hand, I set it down next to my own and pull her down into my arms. "That was all kinds of hot, by the way."

"Yeah, well when you dress like that, what else do you expect? You looked amazing, Arizona."

"I know." I agree. "But so did you." Pulling her into a kiss, her hands dip beneath the cover and I know we are in for a pretty great morning. I mean, how can you have a bad day when it starts in your girlfriend's arms?

* * *

"Two Cappuccino, one with a shot of peppermint." Placing our coffee order, I give the barista a smile and move to the end of the counter. Eliza by my side, she looks worn out. I'm pretty sure I do, too, but I'm used to being overworked with little sleep. Sure, we haven't been at the office, but she worked her ass off in the bedroom last night and this morning, so yeah…she could use a good coffee and some fresh air. We had an awesome morning, but as the day has gone on, she's been a little quiet. I don't think it's anything to worry about, but the past few days have been crazy so I think she is just taking everything in. I'm not entirely sure she has come to terms with her mother's choice to take payment from me, but I believe that _we_ are on okay terms right now.

Our coffee appearing at the end of the counter, I thank the barista and hand Eliza her Cappuccino. Adding a little sugar, we head out onto the sidewalk and cross the street. My cell buzzing in my pocket, I take it out and unlock the screen.

 ** _Awesome to see you last night, Ari. We should get drinks sometime. I have something I need to talk to you about. Lex_**

Locking the screen, I slip it back into my pocket and take Eliza's hand in my own. "Everything okay?" She asks.

"Sure." I smile. "How's the coffee?"

"Um…like coffee." She laughs. "Do you need to get to the office?"

"No, why?" Furrowing my brow, we head inside Central Park and take a slow pace.

"Your cell went off." She states. "Figured it was something to do with work. It usually is."

"Oh, yeah. Something like that." I shrug. "But I'm walking with you, so work can wait." Taking her hand in my own, she leans into my body a little and sighs. "What's up?"

"Nothing…" Tightening her grip on my hand, I place a kiss on top of her head and she glances up at me. "Thanks for not going into work. If you need to be there, though, I understand."

"Nothing that can't wait." I smile. "I'd sooner be doing this with you than sitting behind a desk."

"Mm, I just feel like you are paying me to do nothing."

"Why do you say that?" I ask.

"Oh, come on, Arizona. We are barely ever at the office."

"And that is the upside to working for me. I don't spend every day at the office, Eliza. Before I met you or hired you…whatever, I was there a little more often, but that's because I had to do all of the work myself. You are so freaking quick when it comes to paperwork and scheduling that I don't need to be there so often."

"So, maybe you should lower my hours?"

"Nope. Not happening." I state, leaving no room for argument. "You are set those hours because I may need you at any point in the day, or the night."

"I get that, but it's not as if we don't live together and I'm not always with you anyway." I can see her point, but I have set hours, and they are staying that way. She can argue with me until she is blue in the face…it won't make any difference.

"Well, I guess that's just a bonus then, huh?" My cell buzzing in my pocket again, I remove it from my pocket and glance at the screen.

 ** _Would it be easier if I just made an appointment to see you? Lex._**

"Do you mind if I just take this message? I'll be like five seconds."

"Of course." She smiles. "Anything you need me to do?"

"Possibly…I'll let you know in a few." Giving me a nod, she points towards a nearby bench and I follow her over.

 ** _Sure. What's up? Arizona._**

 ** _I'm looking at extending one of my hotels. Wanted your input. Lex._**

 ** _I'll have an appointment set up for you. Arizona._**

 ** _Awesome. The sooner the better. Lex._**

Settling down beside my girlfriend, the cool air hits me and I shiver a little. "Could you pull up my schedule for tomorrow please, beautiful?"

"Sure." Taking her cell from her pocket, she scrolls through my plans for tomorrow and sits a little closer to me. "You don't really have much on tomorrow. I have a few calls to make for you, and you will probably have a ton of emails to get through, but you only have one meeting at eleven and then you are pretty much free."

"Okay, but I don't want to be at the office all day if I don't have to be," I state. "Can you book an appointment in for me for say… One?"

"No problem." Hitting the requested time, she sets up my appointment and glances at me. "Name?"

"Alexis Santiago." Hitting it into the client box on the screen, she finishes up and locks her cell.

"Done."

"Thank you." I smile. "Once that is out the way, we will probably be done for the day."

"Okay. I'll probably hang around for a little while and get some stuff done, though."

"You can do it at home." I smile. "Everything you need is there, anyway."

"Yeah, I just like to be at the office sometimes. Stops me from taking breaks and catching shows whilst I'm supposed to be working." Shrugging, she places her coffee cup down beside her and shoves her hands into her jacket pocket. "You don't have to hang around, though."

"Okay, but you'll at least grab some lunch with me before I leave?" I don't want her at the office without me, but I get where she is coming from. I already know that she doesn't want any special treatment from me during our working hours, so staying and working when I'm not there kinda makes sense. I don't like it, but it does make sense. "Huh?"

"Sure. Yeah." She gives me a smile followed by a nod. "Did you want to walk a little more, or?"

"I do, yes." Standing, I pull her up to her feet and wrap my arm around her waist. Disposing of our coffee cups in a nearby trash can, my hand slips into her back pocket and we fall into a nice pace. "Are you okay, Eliza?" I have to ask. She's been weirdly nonchalant about Alexis, and I hope I'm just worrying too much.

"I'm fine." She smiles. "Why wouldn't I be?"

Deciding not to push too much, I simply shrug. "No reason." Falling into a comfortable silence, the leaves crush and crunch beneath our feet and right now, I just want to hold her in my arms. I just want to relax and hold her and kiss her, and tell her that she is mine forever.

* * *

"Hey, whatcha doin?" Glancing over towards my girlfriend who is settled on the couch, her head shoots up from her cell phone and I furrow my brow.

"N-Nothing." She gives me an awkward smile and I get a sense that something is wrong.

"Are you planning a romantic getaway for us?" Adding a little swing to my hips, I move a little closer to her and she locks her cell.

"We've just got back from vacation…" She states. "How many do you need?"

"Um…as many as I can get." I shrug. "One thing you should about this… _us_ …is that we vacation whenever possible. If that is twice a month, then so be it."

"Good to know." She nods. "I, uh…just need to use the bathroom." Setting her cell down on the coffee table, she walks away and heads off to the bathroom. Glancing down at her cell, I think about checking it out even though I know I shouldn't. I'd never usually snoop, but she's been off since this afternoon and it's really worrying me. If she has something on her mind, I need to know before it is blown out of proportion. I know better than anyone how Eliza can fly off the handle, so yeah…I need to know.

Unlocking her screen, I find that it is requesting the passcode. She doesn't know that I know it, but I didn't purposely watch her to get it. It's just…well, I guess I just saw one day and I've not forgotten it. Hitting the four-digit code in, the screen unlocks and I find a Facebook page open on her screen. _Alexis Santiago._ Oh, great. Another shit storm is about to hit. Hitting the multiple pages tab, I find another page that contains photos of me and Alexis papped during our relationship.

The sound of the bathroom door unlocking, I close her cell and set it back down on the table. I feel awful for looking through her cell, but she isn't giving me much to go on right now. Glancing up at her as she comes into view, I can see that she is in a world of her own. "Eliza…"

"What's up?" She smiles a half smile.

"I don't know. You tell me…"

"I've told you I'm fine. I'm just wiped today." Slumping down beside me, she pinches the bridge of her nose and I rest back against the couch. "You think maybe we could get an early night?"

"You are free to sleep whenever you like, Eliza. You don't have to ask me."

"Yeah, I just…I don't feel good." She sighs. Glancing at the clock, it's almost 9 pm. "You know, I think I will head off to bed if that's okay?"

"Okay." I nod. Placing my hand over her own, I run my thumb across her knuckles and she sits forward, attempting to stand. "Wait."

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing…I just wanted to feel your hand in my own." Releasing my grip, she gives me a sad smile and gets to her feet. "Did you want me to come with you?"

"No." Her head shaking a little, she zips up her hoodie and heads for the kitchen. "I just want to sleep and tomorrow will be a new day."

"Do you have something on your mind?" I ask.

"Just everything that's happened with my mom and stuff. I'll be okay." Shrugging, she moves towards the hallway that will take her to our bedroom and turns back to face me. "Goodnight, Arizona."

"Night, beautiful. I love you." And that is the truth. I love her more than anyone I've ever dated. The more time I spend with her, the more love I have for her. The more she smiles at me, the more she captures my heart. I know she still has things on her mind, but she really doesn't need to addnon existent relationships into the mix. It really wouldn't ever happen. Maybe I'm worrying too much, I don't know. I'll give her a few days and then I'm calling her out on it.

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 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome as always.**


	28. Chapter 28

**I own nothing. All characters/storylines belong to Shonda. I'm simply 'borrowing' them.**

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Chapter Twenty-Eight

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ELIZA'S POV

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Last night I took myself off to bed and left Arizona sitting alone. I wasn't lying when I said that I was tired, but that isn't the whole truth. I'd spent the last few hours scouring the Internet for more information on this woman who has come back into Arizona's life, and I didn't like what I saw. Sure, it's my own fault for going and looking, but seeing her with Arizona had me a little on edge the other night. I know I'm the one who wakes up next to her and I'm the one she loves, but judging by the pictures I found, they were together for quite some time. I guess the fact that Alexis is hot doesn't help either.

I don't exactly have an issue with Arizona being around her, but I don't know this woman. The first introduction I had involved her hands being all over my girlfriend, so forgive me if I get a bad feeling about her. I know I need to sort myself out and I know I need to let this feeling quickly pass, but I don't know how to. I mean, she's meeting with the woman today and I'm the one who foolishly scheduled her appointment. It's only business, I know that but why _now_ is Alexis back? Why now does she want to meet with my girlfriend?

I've been at the office for around three hours, and the longer I sit here...the more I can't keep my eyes off of Arizona. She's been pretty quiet today, but she seems okay in herself. I think she is just trying to get as much work done as possible, but we've barely spoken two words to each other since last night. I guess that is my fault, though, since I took myself off and avoided her questions for most of the night. I'm not mad at her…how could I be? Just look at that gorgeous face. She also hasn't done anything wrong. "Your one o'clock will be here soon. Did you need me to prepare anything for you?"

Glancing up over the rim of her glasses, she gives me a smile and it melts my heart. "No, I think we have everything we need ready in the conference room."

"We?" I ask.

"Yeah." Furrowing her brow, she takes her glasses off and sets them down in front of her. "You're coming to the meeting, too."

"Uh...why?"

"Because it's your job." She laughs. "Can you come take a look at this please?" Motioning towards her computer screen, I stand and close the distance between us.

Leaning over her desk, I place my hand down on her desk and give her a look of confusion. "What exactly am I looking at?"

"Me." She states. Pulling me down into her lap, she studies my face. "Are we okay?"

"Why wouldn't we be?" I counter.

"No, don't do that. I just want a simple yes or no answer, Eliza. Are we okay or not?" Raising her eyebrow, I drop my gaze and give her a nod.

"Sure. We're okay."

"It's just business, you know that, right?"

"What's just business?" I feign understanding but my girlfriend can see right through me. She always does.

"Alexis." She rolls her eyes. "Eliza, stop trying to torture yourself. You have nothing to worry about and you have no reason to even think that her being here is anything other than a meeting about a potential expansion of her property."

"I know."

"I'm a one woman kinda girl, and _you_ are that woman, got it?" She gives me a hard look and turns my head a little. Her lips finding mine, I close my eyes and savor every moment of this. "And you are not staying back here when I leave. _We_ are going home and _we_ are spending the rest of the day together."

"Okay…" Standing, she tugs at my wrist and I turn back to face her. "I'm okay, Arizona."

"That may be true, but I want another kiss." Leaning down, I press my lips to her own and she grips the back of my neck. Smiling against my mouth, she pulls back a little and rests her forehead against my own. "I love you, Eliza Minnick."

"I love you, too."

* * *

I've never felt so nervous in my entire life. Alexis arrived around fifteen minutes ago, and Arizona has just taken her down to the conference room. Stupid me offered the drop dead gorgeous ex a coffee, so now…they are alone in a room with no windows, and I'm a mess right now. Arizona reassuring me earlier has put my mind at rest a little, but I still don't like her ex. Sure, my girlfriend has told me all about how great she is, but I hope Arizona knows when to take a step back if she needs to. I hope she can trust her own judgment, because right now…I can't. I just…I can't.

Two coffees in my hand, I use my elbow to open the door and step inside. I'd already checked myself out twice before I came back to the conference floor, but I still feel inadequate compared to this other woman. She is just absolute sex on legs. Even I think she's hot. If I think that, I don't know what Arizona thinks. After all, she's the one who used to share a life with her. She's the one who used to do everything that she now does with me.

"So, how is Tim?" Alexis asks my girlfriend as she sits back in her seat and crosses her impossibly long legs.

"Tim is good." Arizona smiles. "He just, you know how he is. He gets an idea in his head and he goes with it."

"Is he still dating that girl?" She asks. "Ugh, what was her name? The one he brought back to our place that night when she's had far too much to drink…"

"Oh!" Arizona's eyes widen. "Charlotte? No, that ended quite a while back."

"I'm totally out of the loop right now, huh?" Watching on as she throws my girlfriend a wink, I decide that this woman has had enough of Arizona's attention and I clear my throat. Handing her a coffee, she gives me a smile. "Oh, thanks, honey." _Honey? I don't think so…_

Not even acknowledging what she has said, I take a seat at the back of the room and watch their interaction. This woman just screams 'take me to bed', but it ain't happening. Not while I'm around anyway, and I plan on always being around.

"So, what do you think about the plans?"

"I think they're great. The expansion works well with the structure of the existing hotel, and lucky for you…you already have the shell of it ready."

"My guys are ready to go when I give them the okay…" Smirking at my girlfriend, I'm trying to read this woman who is quickly becoming my worst nightmare. "Should I tell them the greatest architect in the world has given it the heads up?"

"Sure…if you want to go for it, do it." Taking a seat a little away from Alexis, Arizona removes her glasses and rubs her temples before taking a drink from her coffee cup.

"I was talking about _you,_ Arizona…" She sits forward and rests her elbow on her perfectly sculpted legs. "And I want you in on it."

"Oh, that's awesome but I have plenty going on around here right now."

"I want your interior design." She states as her eyes search my girlfriends face. "You know how much I _love_ it, so I want it in this place."

"Alexis, I'd love to…you know I would, but I haven't even seen the inside of this place."

"That's okay." She smiles. "Once it's close to completion, I'll arrange for you to fly out. It will look great in your portfolio."

"I think my portfolio is looking fine just how it is." Arizona raises her eyebrow and Alexis simply shrugs. "I'm in between other projects, too, at the minute and I can't really leave New York with it all still going on."

"So, your assistant isn't a second you yet? Is that what you're saying?"

"Girlfriend." I interrupt.

"I'm sorry?" She turns her attention towards me and furrows her brow.

"I'm her girlfriend." I smile.

"But you're her assistant, too…right?"

"I am, and I'm more than capable of running this place."

"Well then…" She smiles and Arizona sighs. "I guess your _girlfriend_ just offered to hold things down here while you join me in Cuba for a little while."

 _Fuck!_ I've just put myself right in it. How fucking stupid can I be? Giving Arizona a glance, she drops her gaze and shakes her head. "I really don't think I have the time for it, Lex." _Lex? Fucking Lex?_ I appreciate that she is trying to get out of this, and I know it's just business, but I don't like the idea of her sunning herself in Cuba while I'm here worrying about this fucking woman who just oozes everything I don't.

"You've got around 2-3 weeks to decide." Standing, she grabs her purse and pulls it up to her shoulder. "I want your signature on this place, though, Ari."

"I'll call you, okay?" Arizona holds out her hand to shake her _clients,_ but Alexis scoffs and pulls her into a hug. My eyes closing, I try to breathe through my feelings and Arizona pulls back. "I'll see what I have to do here and try and move some things around, okay?"

"Now we're talking." Headed my way, she holds out her hand and I take it in my own. "Good to see you, again…um?"

"Eliza…" I smile. Fake, obviously. "Good to see you, too."

Watching fucking Wonder Woman walk away, Arizona grabs her copy of the plans and pulls them all into a pile. Her coffee in one hand, she tucks her paperwork under her arm and grabs her cell and tablet. "Let's get out of here."

* * *

Headed out of the bedroom, I've changed into my sweats and I want to do absolutely nothing for the rest of the day. We'd planned to grab lunch on the way home from the office but neither of us was feeling it. Arizona had plans to make, and me? Well, I just don't have the patience for anything or anyone right now. My cell in my hand, I unlock the screen and hit the message tab. Jo will be able to reassure me. She has a way of calming me like nobody else can. She also has some weird obsession with architecture and anything that Arizona lays her hands on.

 ** _Yo! What do you know about Alexis Santiago? Lize x_**

 ** _You mean 'hottest woman in the world' Alexis Santiago? Jo x_**

 ** _Not helping, Jo! Really not fucking helping. Lize x_**

 ** _Ugh! She's not back with her, is she? Jo x_**

 ** _What? No! She is around at the minute, though. Lize x_**

 ** _You are way hotter than her, Lize. Don't even worry about it. They split a while ago if I remember rightly. Jo x_**

 ** _How do you know so much? Lize x_**

 ** _I guess I'm just awesome like that! Do you want the truth? Jo x_**

 ** _It's the reason I texted you…._**

 ** _They were like THE power couple. Always papped together. Worked on some amazing projects and made a ton of money. Alexis was sometimes pictured with other women, though, and I'm not talking friends. Jo x_**

 ** _She cheated on Arizona?_**

 ** _I don't know, but she looks the type to steer away from where she is supposed to be. Don't worry, Arizona is your woman…not hers. Jo x_**

 ** _Yeah. That's what I keep trying to tell myself. Thanks, Jo. Come visit soon? Lize x_**

 ** _I don't have NYC kinda cash right now, but I'd love to when it's possible. Jo x_**

 ** _Your friend is making a quarter million a year now, so yeah…you do have that kinda cash. Let me know when you can take time from work. I'll sort everything else out. Love Ya! Lize x_**

 ** _Love ya, too! It's a plan. Jo x_**

Locking my cell, I set it down on the kitchen counter and grab a bottle of water from the refrigerator. Arizona is already kicking back on the couch and I close the distance between us to join her. "On your cell again, huh?"

"Yeah, just talking with Jo." I shrug and flop down beside her. Pulling my knees up to my chest, I take Arizona's hand in my own and she gives me a side glance. "What are you going to do?" I ask.

"You'll have to be a little more specific than that, Eliza."

"Cuba. What are you going to do about Cuba?" I question. "Are you going, or?"

"I need to figure some stuff out at the office before I go anywhere." Her eyes fixed on the TV in front of her, I need a little more from her than what she is giving me. "Why did you tell her you could run the office?"

"Because I could." I scoff. "You don't think I can?"

"It's not about what I think…you just landed me right in it." She sighs. "I don't need her property in my portfolio. I have enough money to stop all of this tomorrow and never work again. We both know that…"

"That still doesn't make any difference to your decision," I state. "Are you going or not?"

"I'll take a look at how my other sights are going tomorrow. I want my own buildings to be successful before hers. If I can spare a few weeks of my time, I will. If not, she will have to find someone else."

"I can take care of the office…"

"No, I want you with me." Turning to face me, she furrows her brow. "Why did you assume you _wouldn't_ be coming with me?"

"Because I have work to do here, Arizona." I lie. I just don't want to be in the same place as Alexis if I can help it. No matter how much I'd love to lie on a Cuban beach with my girlfriend, it's just not worth it. It's not worth the inner turmoil I'd feel every time that woman was around. It was bad enough sitting in that conference room with her today.

"Yeah, and that's not happening." She laughs. "Do you really think that I'm going to leave you here alone so you can sit and Google me and my ex? Stalk her Facebook page? Torture yourself…and for what?"

"You've been through my cell?" I ask, incredulously.

"I think that is the least of our worries, don't you?" Giving me a raised eyebrow, I shake my head and laugh. Standing, I move towards the window and lean against the frame. "Eliza, how am I supposed to reassure you if you don't tell me what you are thinking? How am I supposed to tell you how much I love you if you continue with this act?"

"What act?" I turn to face her, my brow furrowed.

"This whole 'I'm fine' front that you are putting on." Shaking my head, I turn back and fix my eyes on the views in front of me. "So, that's it? You are refusing to talk about it?" Her silhouette in the window coming into view, she steps closer to me and wraps her arms around my waist from behind. "You are the most beautiful woman I've ever had in my life, Eliza, and I need you to tell me how you are feeling. I just...I need your words."

"She's gorgeous, Arizona." My hands coming to rest over her own, she faces them palm up and laces her fingers with my own. A kiss placed below my ear, my body shudders in appreciation for her touch. "She's gorgeous, and you two look _so_ good together…"

Turning me in her arms, she pushes me down onto the window seat and straddles my legs. "You are sat here in your sweats and I cannot take my eyes off of you." My gaze dropping, she curls her fingers beneath my chin and my eyes find hers. "You are all I see, Eliza. Cuba is purely business. I don't have to go, but what happens next time I have a client who is a woman and I have to work with them? Is this going to be the reaction every time?"

"No, but every other client isn't your ex, Arizona. Your drop dead gorgeous ex." I sigh. "I trust you with my life, Arizona, but I get a bad feeling from her. I don't know why, or what it is, but I don't get a good feeling from her at all."

"And I understand that." She smiles. "That's why I'm not going."

"You have to go." I defend. "Like you said, it's business. You cannot put things off because I'm worried about us. You cannot stop working with people because I don't like the look of them."

"But you don't want me to go, do you?" She raises her eyebrow. "Tell me the truth, please…"

"I do because it's your job," I admit. "You are so highly thought of and everyone wants you, Arizona, so yeah…I do want you to go. I cannot go with you, though."

"Please?" She gives me a pleading look. "I don't know how long I will be there for."

"I can't, I'm sorry." My hands resting on her thighs, I run them up and under her shirt and her skin sets my fingertips on fire. "I want you to go, though. Okay?"

"I'll see how it goes. I'm not deciding yet…" Pulling my face closer to her, she presses her lips against my own before resting her forehead against mine. "I know this isn't the kinda life for you, and I know that sometimes it can be a little intimidating...the people too, but I'm all yours, Eliza. I broke it off with Alexis for a reason. I don't want her, I only want you."

"God, I love you so much that sometimes it hurts." Her thumb running across my cheek, her blue eyes shine against the New York lights. "I just can't ever lose you, okay?"

"You're never going to lose me." Smiling, she pulls me impossibly close and my body sets alight. "You. Are. All. Mine." Punctuating every word with a kiss, I can't help the smile that appears on my face. "You are so fucking beautiful, Eliza. Inside and out."

"I love you…"

"And love you, _more_." She smirks. Climbing off of me, I feel the loss of contact immediately. "Come on, let's take this to the bedroom." Her words sending my head into a spin, she pulls me up to my feet and lifts me. My legs wrapped around her waist, she holds me up against the wall beside the window and her hands grip the back of my thighs. "I'm going to marry you one day, you know that, right?" My heart pounding, my smile widens and her lips press against my neck. "You will be _the_ Mrs. Robbins. Just you watch.."

 _Whoa…._

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Thanks so much for sticking with me. I wasn't sure of the reaction I would get. To say it's been overwhelming would be a complete understatement.**

 **Reviews are welcome as always….**


	29. Chapter 29

**Guest - Do your thing and send my info to whoever you want. I'm not sure what it will achieve, though :)**

 **I own nothing. All characters/storylines belong to Shonda. I'm simply 'borrowing' them.**

* * *

Chapter Twenty-Nine

* * *

ARIZONA'S POV

* * *

Last night broke my heart. It truly did. Hearing Eliza say those things was hard to hear. How she compared herself to Alexis, and how she believes that she is better than her…it's just hit me harder than I expected. How could she ever think that she isn't beautiful enough? How could she ever think that Alexis and I look good together? I don't understand, but maybe that's because I just don't see it. Sure, _once_ I saw a future with Alexis and yeah, it was actually amazing being with her…but Eliza is in my life. Eliza has my heart. I'm not sure Alexis ever truly _did_ have it. I mean, she always said and did the right things, but sometimes that isn't enough. Being happy with what you have just sometimes isn't enough. Don't we crave that something extra? Don't we all sit and dream about what else could be if we open ourselves up fully to the possibilities surrounding us? That's exactly what I did, and I was rewarded with most beautiful and kind-hearted woman ever to walk this earth. I was rewarded with Eliza.

Like, everything could end around me right now and it wouldn't matter. I could lose everything I have and it wouldn't matter. Eliza is the only thing I need in my life. Eliza is the only woman who will ever make me feel this way. Alexis was great, and she was fun, and she's actually a really awesome person…but that is where it ends. That is where the relationship stops. Friends. All we are is friends. She knows that, and I've maintained that since the day we amicably split. If Eliza wants to know all about it, I'm happy to tell her, but I cannot and I will not sit back and allow her to think that there could ever possibly be any more to my relationship with Alexis when it simply wouldn't ever happen. If I thought for one minute that I would ever fall back in love with her, I'd tell Eliza. I'd do the right thing and tell her how I felt about my ex.

When we split I was heartbroken. I'd just had the most amazing relationship for near on two years, but it wasn't what I have with Eliza now. It wasn't settling down in her arms every night and watching crappy TV. It wasn't waking a little earlier in the morning so we could cuddle for ten minutes before we had to get to work. It wasn't hand-holding in Central Park with takeout coffees. It wasn't cute text messages and nights of hot sex. Well, it was…but a lot of the time, that's all it was. Sex. I couldn't feel the love she had for me as I came undone beneath her. She didn't whisper I love you as my body came down from its intense high. It was just sex. Sex, and the celebrity lifestyle. That is exactly what Alexis was about. The media. The paparazzi. The chasing.

Me? I hated all of that, and I still do now. I'd never subject Eliza to the torment we once faced. I'd never expect her to dress a particular way just in case we were pictured together walking down the street. That was how my old relationship was. Alexis would spend hours every morning perfecting her outfit for the camera. Her hair and makeup, professionally done every day…it just wasn't my thing. I don't suspect it ever will be either. I've been there and I've done it. The outcome? Too much pressure. Too much pressure on myself to look good and too much pressure on our relationship to be flawless. Who actually lives that way? Who has the perfect relationship? _No one. Never._

I can remember one night when we'd had a disagreement in a local bar. It ended with Alexis walking off and leaving me alone at our table. Something about me being jealous of the other celebrities she was sometimes papped with. _That couldn't have been further from the truth._ I couldn't have cared any less. Anyway, once she had gotten outside and caught sight of a photographer, she rushed back inside and demanded I leave with her. My night wasn't over, but we had to be seen holding hands and smiling…for the camera.

Those celebrities she accused me of being jealous of? Turns out I had good reason to wonder. Turns out I had good reason to question what we were. That's when she realised she had pretty much been caught and demanded we have an open relationship. Basically, she wanted to sleep with anyone she wanted, but come home to me at night. It just wasn't happening. Why would I put myself through that torture? Honestly, it made me question whether I was ever enough for her. Good enough to be in her life. I mean, she always told me she loved me, but then she demanded to see other people. How else was that supposed to make me feel? How else was I supposed to react other than hurt? She was supposed to be _my_ love. She was supposed to be _my_ girl. Not mine and anyone else who wanted her. Not mine when it suited her. So, I walked away.

I walked away and I never looked back. That was when my life crumbled around me and I woke to find her name all over the papers. Her face beside someone else's. It hurt. It hurt…but I survived. It hurt but look at me now. Now, I have an amazing relationship full of love with this gorgeous woman beside me. The gorgeous woman who slept in my arms last night. The gorgeous woman I cannot get off of my mind, and I hope I'll never have to.

"Hey, what's wrong." Her sleep filled voice pulling me from my own deep thoughts, I furrow my brow and glance her way. "Arizona?"

"Nothing, why?"

"You're crying…" She whispers as she sits up on her elbow and runs her thumb across my cheek. "Are you okay?"

"I-I, I'm sorry…I didn't even realize." Giving her a sad smile, she inches a little closer to me and runs her fingers through my hair.

"Is everything okay?" She asks. "Have I upset you?"

"No." I smile. "You could never upset me, Eliza. I was just thinking and I guess I got a little emotional."

"Thinking about what?" She asks.

"Just how different my life is now. With you in it."

"And it made you cry?" She drops her gaze. "That's not a good sign, huh?"

"Good thoughts, baby. Only good thoughts were you are concerned." Pulling her down into a much-needed kiss, she smiles against my lips and my hand finds her naked back. "I want to take you out today…"

"Where?" She pulls back and gives me a look of confusion.

"Away from it all." I breathe out. "Just you and me away from everyone."

"I'd like that." She smiles. "I'd really like that."

"We aren't going too far, but it's away from all of this."

"Sounds perfect to me…" Her lips pressing against my own again, I shift beneath her a little and she comes to rest against my body. Her heart beating against my own, my eyes close and my arms wrap around her impossibly tight. I have some stuff to arrange before we leave for the day, but there is always time to hold my girlfriend. There is always time to just be with her.

* * *

"That's awesome. Thanks, Rich." Thanking my driver for his help, I lean back against the kitchen counter and rest my cell against my shoulder. "I'll take my car so you go and relax with the family. I'll call you in a few days."

"Are you sure?" He asks.

"I am." Smiling as Eliza comes into sight, she gives me a questioning look but I wave her away. "Bye, Rich." Ending the call, I set my cell down on top of the marble surface and round the counter. "You ready to head out?"

"Yeah." Pulling me into her arms, she studies my face before dropping light kisses along my jawline. "What exactly do you have planned?"

"Honestly? Not a lot." I shrug. "Just want to get away from it all for a little while." Lacing our fingers together, I grab my purse and my cell and head for the front door. "Come on." I smile. "Time to truly unwind."

Stepping out onto the landing, I hit the elevator call button and the doors open. With nothing but my purse in one hand, and Eliza in my other…we both step inside and head down to the lobby. We don't have any belongings with us, but we won't be needing them. I've had everything we need dropped off at our destination. Reaching the lobby, we head out onto the street and my car is waiting for me. "Winner," Eliza smirks.

"Oh, I think I'm the true winner in all of this." I counter. "After you…" Holding the door open for her, she slips inside and runs her hands over the leather interior. Rounding the front, I slip into the driver seat and fire up the Ferrari. "You good to go?"

"Definitely." She nods. Screeching away from the sidewalk, we weave through the streets of New York and head for a more scenic route. "Where exactly are we headed?"

"Just…somewhere peaceful." I smile. "Did you need to grab anything from your old apartment before we head out of here?"

"No. Nothing there that I need." She shrugs. "You look really beautiful today, Arizona." Glancing her way, I give her a smile and she doesn't take her eyes off of me.

"Thank you." Her eyes diverting to the changing landscape around us, she rests her head back against the seat and simply smiles. I know she prefers the quiet life, so that is exactly what I'm about to give her. The peace. The serenity. The time to clear her head.

Hitting speed as we head off down to my old place, I think about the next few days and what they are likely to hold. I know the Alexis saga is anything but over, but I just want Eliza to talk to me. If it's on her mind, I'm always going to be there to listen and reassure her. She knows this, I've told her enough times…I just don't want her to think that she is bugging me with it all. That really wouldn't be the case at all.

Thirty minutes later and my tires hit gravel. The gasp that leaves my girlfriends mouth tells me she likes what she sees and it settles me a little. "What is this place?" Looking out over the lake I'm now parked at, her eyes focus on the cabin in front of us and she smiles. "This place is beautiful, Arizona."

"Yeah, it's why I kept it." I shrug and cut the engine. "Wanna head inside?"

"Honestly, I can't decide between the lake and the cabin." She shakes her head in amazement. "You are just full of surprises, aren't you?"

"It's my old home." I smile as I open my door. Rounding the back of my car, I open the passenger side and she steps out...my hand waiting for her own. The car bleeping and assuring me that it is locked, we move towards the crystal clear water and she wraps her arms around my waist from behind. "I figured you might like to come here to get away from my life in the city. It's just a suggestion."

"I don't have a problem with your life, Arizona." Placing a kiss on my shoulder, a crisp light breeze causes me to shudder. "I'm okay with everything you are…"

"Yeah, I just think that sometimes it becomes a little too much for you," I admit. "Hell, it's too much for me at times."

"Yeah, I get that." She nods.

"Come on, I'll get the fire pit going and we can sit outside for a little while." Her arms removed from around me, I quickly realize that she was the only thing keeping me warm. Heading up the few steps separating us from the front door, I take out my old key and slip it in the lock. A familiar smell hitting me as I push the door open, I step inside and pull Eliza in behind me. "It's is your place whenever you need it, okay?"

"It's beautiful." She breathes out. "I love it."

"There are things I have to say to you, Eliza, and I wanted this to be the place we talk about it. It's the only place that kept me sane almost two years ago."

"Okay…" She nods.

"Let's get some stuff sorted here first and then we can talk all night long."

* * *

Wrapped up in a blanket, Eliza sits facing me at one end of the couch, her legs tucked beneath her. The fire roaring to the side of us, I've opened up a bottle of red and it's warming nicely on the coffee table. It's been a pleasant first few hours here, but I know Eliza is a little on edge. Earlier I told her I wanted to talk, and since then, I've noticed the look of concentration on her face. I know she is trying to figure out what I want to say, but it really isn't anything bad on her part. I just want to let her in on my life a little more. I want her to understand that I'm not some controlling sex obsessed businesswoman who needs the hot and popular girl on my arm. That really isn't me. It has never been.

"Hey, you okay?" Watching her stare into the flames, she gives me a small smile and nods. "Eliza, I don't have anything bad to say…so just relax." Placing my hand on her knee, she turns to face me and breathes a sigh of relief. "I just wanted to talk to you."

"Okay, but what about?"

"Alexis. My relationship with her." I state. "If you'll listen?"

"Of course, I'll listen." She agrees.

"I just…I cannot ever allow you to think that Alexis is better than you, Eliza. That's so far from the truth and you are both totally different people. Don't _ever_ compare yourself to anybody else…"

"I'm sorry, I didn't like seeing the way she was with you, is all. You also can't deny the fact that she is gorgeous." She shrugs.

"Yeah, she is gorgeous…and she knows it, too. She knows exactly how women stare at her and undress her with their eyes. She also takes advantage of that." I laugh. "Two years ago when we split, I found that out all too well."

"I don't follow…"

"She always wanted to be able to pick and choose between who she was sleeping with. She always wanted to be out with her arms around someone else, but have me ready and waiting for her." I sigh. "I'm generally not stupid when it comes to love and how people can try to hurt you, but will her…I was. She would always accuse me of being jealous to get a rise out of me. She would always drag me around the stores so people could see me with her. Which I didn't mind. I didn't mind it at all until it became too much. I didn't want to be all over the media. I just wanted a quiet successful life. I know it doesn't work that way when I'm earning what I earn and I do what I do, but still...it was always set up." Clearing my throat, she shifts a little closer to me. "Anyway, none of that is important. When she came to me with the suggestion of sleeping with other people, I hit the roof. I mean, who wouldn't?"

"Yeah, I get that." Eliza gives me a sad smile and takes my hand in her own.

"I told her no. I told her that it was me or them. She chose me. She said she wanted me. I was so relieved that everything was going to be okay, but I guess in the back of my mind, I always knew I could no longer trust her. If she was asking me to allow her to sleep around, it meant that she was looking at other women. It meant she had thought about it during some point of our relationship. We grew apart a little, and I decided to call it a day. You know, focus on my work and just enjoy the private life. So I came here. This was my home. My place. My sanctuary."

"It's definitely a peaceful place." She smiles as she glances around and takes in the surroundings.

"You don't ever have to worry about me going back to her, Eliza. There is no way I'd ever do that to you…or myself. You know the day after we split?" She gives me a slight nod. "I woke up to find her picture everywhere with one of our makeup artists on her arm. They'd been sleeping together on and off for a few months."

"I'm so sorry, Arizona."

"I'm not." I shrug. "I mean, I was at the time. But as I sat here night after night with nothing but my own thoughts…I realized I'd done the right thing by walking away. I realized that it was only a matter of time before I caught them at it and that would have only killed me inside. Walking away was the right thing to do. I always knew it would be, and that's why I didn't find the decision hard to make. So, yeah…she is beautiful and she is smart and sexy, but she is untrustworthy. She is a cheat. She is everything I don't want in my life."

"How did you stay friends with her?"

"Honestly, I did still see her as a friend. I still do now. When it all came out that she had been sleeping around, she called me and she apologized. I was grateful for that." It's the truth. Knowing that she was sorry meant a lot to me at the time. "I don't like to have enemies, Eliza. It's just not me. It was good while it lasted, but I made the decision to end it, and that was that."

"You're a better woman than me, Arizona." She shakes her head and lifts my arm, her body coming to rest against my own. Her head against my chest. "I don't think I could have done what you did."

"None of it matters anymore." I sigh. "I haven't thought about her in probably a year."

"You know I trust you, right?"

"I do." Running my fingers through her hair, she glances up and her eyes find mine. "I understand why you were worried, though. Seeing those pictures online can't have been nice for you."

"Still, I shouldn't have gone looking for them. It only made me feel worse. I just…I had to know what I was dealing with. I even asked Jo." She laughs. "She reassured me, mostly."

"Why would Jo know?" I ask.

"Because my best friend is obsessed with you and everything you do. Including women." I deadpan.

"Have you arranged for her to come and stay yet?"

"No, I was planning on inviting her down whilst you are in Cuba. If she can take time from work."

"You're really not going to come with me, are you?" The disappointment evident in my voice, she turns a little more to face me better.

"No, Arizona." She gives me a sad smile and it makes my heart hurt. "I really don't need to be there, and I really don't want to be there, either. You should go, though. This is your job. Your expertise. Just…make it look awesome and then come home to me."

"See what Jo can do first. If she is able to come stay, I'll be a little more satisfied with going. If not, I'm calling it off."

"Please don't do that. I don't want to be the needy and worried girlfriend who make you stay home all the time. I want us to be okay with the possibility of a few days apart."

"I know you do." I agree. "Just…I need a few days to decide if I really want to do this."

"You've worked with her before since you guys split, right?"

"Yeah." I nod. "Probably four or five times, I think."

"So, this time won't be any different. You are only struggling with it because I was pissed about her. If I wasn't here, you'd be signing up to that work in no time. Just…go and be awesome, okay?"

"Okay…" I breathe out.

"What time do we have to leave here?" She asks, a little saddened by the idea.

"We don't." I shrug. "Figured we'd stay a night or two? Longer if you'd rather. I'm not picky."

"Yeah? We are staying here?" Her eyes widening and her smile growing, I simply nod and pull her up my body a little.

"The cupboards are stocked. We have everything we need here."

"We don't have any clothes…" She furrows her brow.

"Except we do. I had Rich pick up the newest fall range from a few stores for you, and I come here now and again so I have plenty of clothes here."

"God, you amaze me more and more every day." Her lips finding my own, I smile into our kiss and allow her energy to pulse through my entire body. Everything about Eliza makes me feel alive, and I know that no matter what…we will always end the day like this. In each other's arms and loving each other like we are going to lose it all one day.

"I know that you will always be the woman for me, Eliza." Tightening my grip around her body, she watches the flames dance in front of us. "It doesn't matter who comes into my life. It doesn't matter what our situation is. You will always be the one for me."

"I love you." She sighs. Her fingers toying with the skin beneath my sweater.

"I know you do, and I love you." My head resting back against the couch, my eyes close and sleep begins to take over my body. It's only a little after five, but a nap with Eliza is always a good idea. Fixing her blanket around her a little better, the warmth spreads through my body and I'm not sure I've ever felt so calm and stress-free in my entire life.

 _She makes me feel this way. She makes me feel like I'm the only woman in the world… Eliza, only EVER Eliza._

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. I appreciate all of your reviews for the past few chapters. You are all awesome.**


	30. Chapter 30

**I own nothing. All characters/storylines belong to Shonda. I'm simply 'borrowing' them.**

* * *

Chapter Thirty

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ELIZA'S POV

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Wow, this place is breathtaking. Everything about it is what I want in life, and the absolute silence cuts through your body. It's amazing. Unreal. A dream. My life since meeting Arizona has been nothing but a dream and completely not what I expected. Sure, I learned pretty early on who she was, but this? She just surprises me on a daily basis. Nothing is too much trouble for her. Nothing is too much effort where I am concerned. Did I ever imagine I'd find someone who was so invested in me? Honestly, no. Nothing in my life told me I'd ever find that one true love, but I have. I have and it's amazing. Sometimes it freaks me out a little, but all in all…it's absolute heaven. _She_ is absolute heaven.

I've been sitting out on the porch for around an hour and it's barely even light yet. I can see the sun creeping up through the trees, but I'm torn as to whether I truly want it to rise. Once it does, our day begins and we are one day closer to heading back to the real world. The city. The work. The office. Every day with Arizona brings something new…but being at this cabin is heart stopping. The peacefulness takes your breath away, and in a way, I feel like I'm home. Like, this is where we should be every day when we leave the work behind us. I love her condo, I really do…but this comforting. Homely. Inspiring. How a wooden cabin can be inspiring I'll never know, but that's how it makes me feel. Like I can be anything and do anything I want. It makes me forget that I'm just an assistant. It makes me remember that I'm the other half of Arizona.

Last night we talked…a lot. I appreciate my girlfriend letting me in on her past, but it only made me hate Alexis even more than I already did. I mean, who wants to sleep around when you have Arizona in your life? Are people really that stupid? They must be because I cannot for the life of me understand why anyone would want someone else when such a beautiful person is already in their life.

Am I glad Arizona walked away? Yes. I don't think she would have even noticed me had I come along when she was still in a relationship with Alexis. I don't think she would have seen anything in me at all. I could be wrong, but she said she was happy with her…so, no...I don't think I'd be in the position I am now had Alexis still been around. I don't like how she was treated by her, though. I don't like how she was hurt by her exes suggestion. It's offensive and damaging to a person when you imply that you want to sleep with other people. It makes them feel less of a person. I mean, I don't have first-hand experience of it, but I'm pretty sure that's how I'd feel had it been me in that position. Then, to wake up and find that the woman you loved _had_ been sleeping with other women…wow, I'm not sure I could have carried on with _that_ friendship. It is Arizona's choice, though. It's her decision to stay friends with her. Me? I just have to focus on us.

A crisp breeze hitting my skin, I pull my blanket tighter around me and tighten my grip on my coffee cup. Waking up here this morning was strange. Not bad strange, but the silence was completely different to what I'm used to. I'm used to it being all go at the condo. I'm used to the calls and emails interrupting us when we are having downtime. I understand, though. Arizona didn't get to where she is today by avoiding clients. She didn't get to where she is today by sitting on her ass at every opportunity, so yeah…I get it.

The best thing about being here is the fact that I haven't thought about my mom once. I haven't thought about how she disowned me and took payment from my girlfriend. I haven't thought about the possibility of her returning and demanding more. I haven't thought about anything where she is concerned. I haven't needed to. She is irrelevant to my life right now, and honestly…if she stayed out of it for good, I'd call that a win for me.

My eyes fixed on the flames dancing in the fire pit, a small smile creeps onto my face and I don't even know why I'm smiling. Maybe it's the fact that I'm happy. Maybe it's the fact that my life has taken a turn for the better. I don't know. Jo was right, though, when she told me to stick it out in New York. She was right when she insisted that I don't leave and head back to Detroit. I'm not sure what my life would be right now had I walked away from Arizona and allowed my own worries to get the better of me. I'm a good person, and I love with all of my heart…so staying around was the right thing to do. Even if I was close to packing up and leaving it all behind. Even if I did tell Arizona I didn't want her in my life. She saw through that, and I'll be forever grateful that she did.

She saw me for me. She didn't know about my past or my home life. She didn't know I'd come to New York on borrowed money. She didn't know that I had to get out of Detroit because my mother was causing my mental health to deteriorate. She didn't know any of that, and when she discovered who I really was, she didn't run. I think it was at that point that I realized she was one to stay around. I think I realized that I was in love with _her_ and not the life she leads. She is so much more than the Ferrari and the millions. She is so much more than the hot blonde businesswoman who has it all. She is kind and warm-hearted. She is cuddly and soft and the complete opposite of what the media and her clients see. She is pure love. Everything about her screams love. Sure, she can be dirty hot when she wants to be, but again, that is purely between us. She doesn't air her relationships in public or during work. She is private and she is trustworthy.

Don't get me wrong, professionally I wouldn't like to get on the wrong side of her…but that attitude is how she has made it to the top. I've watched grown men beg her for her service. I've watched them fall over her and plead for her attention. Not many women can say they took over the men. Not many women can do it so graciously.

Glancing to my right, I find Arizona sitting staring at me. Giving me a small smile, she turns her attention to the lake. "Sorry, just pretend I'm not here…"

"Now why would I do that?" I laugh.

"You were in your own little world just then, so continue." She suggests. "I'm quite happy to just sit here and watch you."

"I was just thinking about you…" I smile and shift in my seat a little. "Come sit with me?" Standing, Arizona takes a seat in my lap and swings her legs over the side of my seat. "That's better."

"Did you sleep well?" She asks.

"Yes, amazingly well. It's so quiet here…"

"Yeah. It's pretty amazing, huh?" Her head resting on my shoulder, she breathes out a deep breath and wraps her arm around my shoulder. "I've never brought anyone here before…"

"Why not?" I furrow my brow.

"This is my own private space. Nobody knows I even own it. I'm not sure anyone even knows it exists."

"Why did you bring me here then?" I ask. "I mean if you don't like to share it with anyone else."

"Because I want to share everything with you, Eliza." Smiling against my chest, I run my fingers through her hair and toy with the skin at the back of her neck. I know she loves it when I do that, and the hum of appreciation from her has just confirmed that. "Even my mom doesn't know I lived here at one point. She just thought I was out in the city."

"But you allowed me to see it…" It's more of a statement than a question. "Thank you."

"I don't ever want to keep anything from you. I hope you know that I never would." Tilting her head a little, her eyes find mine and I see nothing but love radiating from them. "We are a partnership. Best friends. Maybe even soul mates. So no, I don't want to have any secrets from you."

"That's really sweet." I smile as I place a kiss on top of her head. "You are really sweet."

"Just love you." She shrugs. "There was something I wanted to ask you. It's been on my mind for a little while…"

"O...kay." I give her a look of confusion and she sits up to face me.

"Have you ever thought about being more than an assistant?"

"Um, no." I shake my head. "It's what I'm good at."

"But...you are good at other things. Great, even." _Is she for real?_ I mean, if this is a joke, it's not very funny. "You have an eye for beauty…and an eye for decor."

"Do I?" I furrow my brow. "I mean yeah…I have an eye for beauty. It's hard not to when I have you in my life, but decor? Nah!" A laugh erupting from my throat, she gives me a look of confusion. "What?"

"You really should give yourself more credit." She states. "I know someone with potential when I see it." Climbing off of me, she pulls me up to my feet and guides me back inside the cabin. "Just think about it, okay?"

"Think about what?" I ask.

"Working _with_ me, not _for_ me."

"With you?" I laugh. "Oh, I don't think so, Arizona."

"Eliza, I'm not talking planning and constructing buildings, I'm talking about the interior design."

"Still...I'm not sure I'd be any good. Yeah, I like what you create…but that is because it's amazing. That doesn't mean I could do any better or even the same as you."

"Okay." She shrugs. "Just thought you should know that you have a talent. Maybe I'm wrong…"

"Yeah, I think you are wrong." I give her a sad smile. "Besides, I'm happy to be your assistant."

"Sure." She smiles. "Breakfast?"

"Breakfast would be great. Want me to get it started?" I ask. "I don't mind. It's the least I can do since you brought me here…"

"Go for it." She nods. "I'll get some fresh coffee going." Grabbing what I need to prepare breakfast, her words replay in my head. Does she really think I can bring more to the company than pure assistance? Does she honestly believe I have something more to offer other than answering her calls and sifting through her emails? I'm not so sure she does. I mean, I appreciate her saying that I have a talent, but honestly…I just don't see it.

* * *

"Come outside." Tugging at my hand, I groan my reluctance to do as my girlfriend asks. "Come on, there is something I want you to see."

"Fineeee." Standing, I huff and follow her out back. I haven't ventured around this side of the cabin yet, but I'm sure it's just as beautiful as what I've already seen.

"Stop being a child and grab those towels." Furrowing my brow, she gives me a dimpled smile and I take the towels that are folded on the kitchen counter. "You won't be whining in a minute when you get outside and see what I have for us…"

"Sure."

"Well, actually you will…but it will be more of a moan than a whine." Throwing me a wink, she pulls me out back and my eyes widen. She disappeared around twenty minutes ago, claiming that she was collecting some wood and that she didn't need my help, but I have a sneaky suspicion that it was a lie. "You like?" She gives me a sexy squint and I nod my head. "Thought so."

"Why did I not know about this sooner?" I ask, checking the temperature of the hot tub with my hand.

"Figured you could use a little surprise every now and again…so, surprise." She laughs. Hitting play on an outdoor speaker, she begins stripping until she is completely naked in front of me. "You coming?" She raises an eyebrow.

"God, I hope so…" Biting down on my bottom lip, I slip my hoody from my shoulders and it drops to the floor. My tee removed from my body via Arizona's soft hands, I slip my jeans off and her fingers tug at the waistband of my panties. "Phew…" I breathe out. "How do you get hotter every day?"

"Being with you makes me all kinds of hot, Eliza. You only have yourself to blame." Guiding me towards the tub, she steps in and I quickly follow her. Our bodies settling into the water, the moan that my girlfriend releases has gotten me aroused beyond belief. "I could stay here with you forever…"

"Trust me, I'd love nothing more." The water bubbling away around us, I push her back against the wall of the tub and straddle her legs. "You make me feel incredible, Arizona." Soft lips pressing against my own, she swallows a deep moan from me and bites down on my bottom lip before sucking it into her mouth. Her hands grazing up my naked back, her fingers tangle in my loose hair and she tugs my head back. Her own lips working the skin of my neck, I arch my back and my body ignites at the sensations she is creating. "Your mouth is amazing…" My breath hitching as she takes a nipple between her teeth, I hiss in satisfaction, pleasure, _and_ pain. "Fuck!"

Releasing it with a pop, she drops her hand from my hair and my eyes find hers. "I just want you to feel good, beautiful." The tone of music changing, her hand slips between my legs and I smile into another kiss. This woman makes me absolutely crazy with want, and I never want that to end with her. I don't imagine it would ever become boring, that's for sure.

 ** _I never thought I'd be in love like this  
When I look at you my mind goes on a trip  
Then you came in and knocked me on my face  
Feels like I'm in a race but I've already won first place_**

Her fingers working wonders between my legs, she pulls away and I whimper at the loss of contact. "I need you to turn around." Standing, I pull her up and her hands skim the sides of my stomach. "You know how I want you." She smiles.

"God, you just don't stop, do you?" I bite down on my bottom lip and turn in her arms. Bending over and resting my arms on the side of the hot tub, she ghosts her fingers up the back of my thigh and it causes me to shudder. My arousal mixed with the crisp fall air, I'm not sure how I'm still standing. Her hand placed on my shoulder, she pushes me down a little more before running her hand down my back, across my ass, and between my legs. "Fuck." My head spinning as she slips inside of me with two fingers, my body jolts forward and I try to hold my body up.

 ** _I never thought I'd fall for you as hard as I did  
You got me thinkin' 'bout our life, a house and kids, yeah  
Every morning I look at you and smile  
'Cause girl, you came around and you knocked me down  
Knocked me down_**

Her lips pressing against my upper back as she leans her body over me, my mind is working in overdrive right now. "This is us, Eliza. Just us…forever." Her thrusts increasing in both pace and in strength, I get that burning sensation beginning to build in the pit of my stomach. "Nobody will ever compare to you, baby. Nobody." Her center pressing against my ass, she traps her hand between our bodies and her fingers drag down my walls.

 ** _Sometimes love comes around and it knocks you down  
Just get back up when it knocks you down, knocks you down  
Sometimes love comes around and it knocks you down  
Just get back up when it knocks you down, knocks you down_**

Squeezing her fingers tight inside of me, it affects her movements a little but she doesn't seem concerned. Her own moans of pleasure spurring us both on, I lift my arms from the position in which they are resting on the tub and stand…leaning my body into her own. "You feel so good inside of me, Arizona." I grind down against her fingers. "Make me come." I groan as she hits that sweet spot deep inside of me. Nobody has ever made me come like Arizona has, and honestly…she has completely ruined me. How would I ever find this again if I ever lost it? How would I find someone who could both love me and satisfy me like she does? It would never happen.

Her lips pressing against my ear from behind, she smiles against it and lowers her tone. "You know how much I love being inside of you, Eliza." Taking my lobe between her teeth, she releases a guttural moan and my orgasm approaches faster than ever before. "Let go, baby." She whispers. "Come for me."

 ** _I never thought I'd hear myself say  
Y'all go ahead, I think I'm gonna kick it with my girl today  
I used to be commander in chief of my pimp ship flyin' high  
'Til I met this pretty little missile, shot me out the sky_**

 ** _Hate to know I'm crashin', don't know how it happened  
But I know it feels so damn good  
Said if I could go back and make it happen faster  
Don't you know I would baby, if I could_**

Her breasts pressing against my back, she drops her other hand and runs her index finger across my throbbing clit. I've never felt an intensity like it, but this is us. It's what we do. It's how we are. "Y-Yes, don't stop…fuck, don't stop." Her teeth sinking into my shoulder, my breath hitches in my throat and my world slowly turns darker. "Yes, oh god…shit, A-Ari…Arizonaaa." My orgasm crashing through my body, my girlfriend tries to hold me upright but I'm struggling right now. Dropping down into the water, she wraps her legs around me from behind, her fingers still deep inside of me.

 ** _Miss independent to the fullest  
The load never too much, she helpin' me pull it  
She shot the bullet that ended that life  
I swear to you the pimp in me just died tonight, girl_**

 ** _Sometimes love comes around and it knocks you down  
Just get back up when it knocks you down, knocks you down  
Sometimes love comes around and it knocks you down  
Just get back up when it knocks you down, knocks you down_**

"I've got you." She smiles against my neck. "I've always got you." Soft kisses dropping against my skin, her breath washes over the side of my face and I know that this woman is all I'll ever need. She is all I'll ever see…she's all that is keeping me alive. "You are so unbelievably hot, Eliza."

"N-No." I pant. "T-That's all you…" Whimpering as she slips out of me, she shifts out from behind me and comes to rest between my legs. "Thank you for an amazing couple of days."

"Anytime, beautiful." The water the only sound around us, she doesn't take her eyes off of mine. Simply staring, the most adorable smile creeps onto her face and it makes my heart swell. "I don't know how I managed to end up here with you, Eliza, but thank you."

"For what?" I furrow my brow.

"For staying. Through it all, you've stayed." Her thumb running across my cheek, I wrap my arms around her waist and pull her in impossibly close. "Your insecurities. Your past. Your mom. Alexis. You stayed, and that means the absolute world to me."

"Because I knew how much I loved you, Arizona."

"Still…you could have stopped it all and walked away. I love you, and I swear I'm going to only ever make you happy."

"I don't doubt you." I smile. "I don't think I've ever doubted you, even though at times it may have seemed like I did."

"That makes me happy to hear you say that." Shifting down a little, the water covers our shoulders and we take a few minutes to just be. Nothing but pure silence surrounding me, Arizona's breathing tells me that this is all real. I'm not about to wake up. I'm not about to be disturbed from my amazing dream. This feeling is earth-shattering. This feeling is heart stopping. This feeling is love.

 _Arizona is love…._

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Your reviews, again….WOW!**

 **Song was 'Knock you down' by Keri Hilson.**


	31. Chapter 31

**I own nothing. All characters/storylines belong to Shonda. I'm simply 'borrowing' them.**

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Chapter Thirty-One

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ARIZONA'S POV

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We've been back in the city for a few days, and that break was just what we needed. Just the quietness of the place and the idea that nobody is around for miles is what I've always loved about it. I'm yet to be disturbed there. Sure, it's out of the way, and if I was murdered I wouldn't be found…but they'd have to find the place before they killed me, so I'm not overly concerned. I think Eliza enjoyed her time there, and after our hot tub session, we went another three rounds in there before we even thought about heading home. It would have been rude not to, right? I'm not sure I've ever been so crazy in love with another woman, but I know for sure that is what's happening with Eliza. I know for sure that I'll always crave her touch. Her lips. Her hands on my body. She just makes me want her every second of the day. It's not just her body, no. It's her mind and her beauty. It's how she carries herself in her personal life, and how I see her at the office.

Honestly, I'm surprised I haven't had to fight anyone off of her yet since she arrived in New York. It's only a matter of time before she grabs someone else's attention, but still…she's mine, and anyone else who even so much as looks at her in that way will have me to deal with. I'm sitting at my desk and I cannot take my eyes off of her so I'm pretty sure others are looking her way. Thankfully, Lucie didn't put up much of a fight, but she knows that she is still lucky to have a job with me, so I don't suppose she would. I know they're friendly, and that's okay…so long as it only stays that way. I don't want to have to worry about my secretary trying to get into my girlfriend's pants. I really don't. I won't always be around, so I have to be sure of everyone we have in our lives.

I don't know whether it's because I love her so much, or whether I'm just suddenly worried about her finding someone else, but I've been thinking about it all morning. I've been thinking about that possibility of someone else catching Eliza's attention. I hope it will never happen, but it's perfectly possible. I'm not overly concerned, but it is there in my mind. I guess I just have to make the best of what I have right now. I guess I just have to go with it and face those issues if and when they arise. I'm sure it will one day, but right now…we are perfectly happy in our little bubble. Right now, life is damn perfect. She is perfect.

"You busy?" I ask, pulling her away from her computer screen.

"A little but I can come back to this later." She turns and smiles. "What's up?"

"Nothing." I shrug. "Just wanted you to turn around so I could see your face."

"Smooth, Robbins. Real smooth." Rolling her eyes playfully, she stands and tugs her skirt down her thighs and heads towards the door. Clicking the lock, she turns back to face me and I remove my glasses. "So, what now?" She smirks.

"Nothing…just back to work, I guess." My eyes focusing on the screen in front of me, she rounds my desk and pushes me back from it a little. Her ass coming to rest against the hardwood, she lifts her legs and her heels press into my thighs. "Jesus Christ." My mouth running dry, I glance up at her and swallow. Hard. "What the hell are you trying to do? Kill me…" My gaze switching back down to her lower half, all I'm seeing is black lace panties. "E-Eliza…"

"Whilst my attention is firmly on you, Arizona, I suggest you make full use of it." Running her fingers down the backs of her own thighs, her heels dig a little harder into my skin and it makes me catch my breath. Trying to sit forward, she lifts her right foot and presses it gently against my chest between my breasts. "Oh, I don't think so." She shakes her head. "Who said you could touch?" Dropping my hand back to the armrest of my seat, I take my bottom lip between my teeth and she throws me a wink. "Yeah, that's right."

Her fingers working the buttons of her shirt, I squirm in my seat as arousal floods between my thighs. "Eliza…"

"Mm?" She raises an eyebrow. "Problem?"

"I just…" Shaking my head, I'm lost for words. "Fuck, you are hot."

"Maybe I should remove some of your clothing since you are feeling a little hot under the collar?" Sitting forward, she drops one leg from my thigh and begins unbuttoning my own shirt. "Let me take care of that for you…" My shirt falling open, her eyes focus on my black bra and I know it's making her a little insane. She loves it when I wear black underwear for work. Says it turns her on terrible. Flicking the front clasp, she pushes the offending material out of the way and I'm lost for words. I'm truly lost. "Mm, look at that." Her eyes darken. "All mine."

"Seriously, you have to do something about this before I take you on my desk." The seriousness in my tone tells her that she is working me up good and proper, but I don't know where she is going to go from here. She is unpredictable when she wants to be…and I suspect that right now is one of those times. "Please?"

Standing, her heels hit the floor and she steps a little closer to me. Dropping to her knees, she glances up at me and raises her eyebrow. "Feet on the edge of the desk." Lifting my legs, her eyes close momentarily and I smile. "Spread your legs!" My knees falling either side of my body, I grip onto the arms of my chair and brace myself for some hot office sex. "Now, you don't touch me…you don't touch yourself." Giving her a slight nod, she tugs my panties down and slips them over my thighs. "And you _will_ watch me pleasure us both…got it?"

"Holy shit." My words barely above a whisper, she raises her eyebrow and I nod, my mouth hanging open a little. "Y-Yeah." Running her thumb the length of my center, she separates my folds and blows gently against my clit. "Ugh, fuck!" Moaning as her thumb runs over my clit, I know she trying to get me wetter than ever. Right now, it's working. It's _so_ working. I'm soaked like never before. _I didn't expect this when I came into work today…_

Her own legs spreading a little wider, she runs her tongue up the length of my center and sucks my clit into her mouth. "Mm…" Her hand disappearing between her thighs, her fingers push her panties to one side and she rubs her own clit. "Shit!" Mumbling against my core, she dips her tongue a little lower and teases my entrance.

"Fuck, yes." My head thrown back against my seat, she uses her free hand to lap up my arousal before entering me swiftly. "Oh god!" A cry ripping from my throat, I have to cover my mouth with my hand. Feeling her smile against me, she pumps her fingers in and out and I know that I cannot hold on much longer. The way she has just taken complete control of me like this has sent my body into overdrive, and I need to come now. Harder than ever before.

Her left hand working wonders between her own legs, I know she is barely hanging on, too. I know that she is desperate for release just as much as I am. My moans are only spurring her on. "Miss Robbins." A loud knock on the door and the handle turning, I hold my breath and Eliza stills her movements. "Miss Robbins?"

"Y-Yeah?" I clear my throat.

"Someone is here to see you…" Lucie shouts through the door. _Fuck sake!_

Glancing down at my girlfriend, she pulls her mouth away and gives me a knowing look. "Don't you fucking dare stop, Eliza. I'm warning you!" My words low, she smiles and shrugs. Resuming her activities, my breath catches once again and her own knees begin to shake. "What should I tell them?"

"That I'm coming." _Oh, come on! Seriously?_ "I'll be out in a moment." Eliza's thrusts increasing, I feel my body nearing the edge and I can't hold out much longer. My knuckles turning white as I grip my seat, my girlfriend comes undone and the vibration of her low moan only tips me over the edge.

"Okay, I'll have them wait."

"Fuck off, Lucie," I whisper. "Fuck, yes." My hand placed over my mouth, my orgasm tips through me and I'm finding it hard to control my body right now. "Yes, keep going, Eliza. Don't stop." Her own body convulsing as she rides out her own orgasm, fresh arousal floods from my body and I don't even have it in me to make a sound. My mouth hanging open, Eliza slows her pace and cleans me up. I don't know how I'm supposed to meet with anyone right now, but I have to. They're outside so unless I plan on jumping 30 plus floors to my death, I have no option but to meet them. "T-That was…"

"Fucking hell, Arizona. That was hot." Bringing her fingers up to my mouth, she runs them across my bottom lip and I get a taste of her. "You see what you do to me?"

"Oh God." Licking my lips, I close my eyes and try to catch my breath. "That can't happen again." I shake my head.

"Sure it can't." She snorts. Getting to her feet, she fixes her skirt and helps me up to my feet. A little unsteady on my own heels, I lift my skirt a little and find heel imprints on my thighs. "Sorry." Giving me a sad smile, I begin buttoning my shirt back up and press my lips to her own.

"Don't ever be sorry." I pull back and check myself over. "Do I look okay?"

"Radiant." She smirks. Settling back down behind her desk, I unlock the door and pull it open. My mouth hanging open once again, I turn back to Eliza and she gives me a look of confusion.

"Hi, Mom."

"Arizona, honey. Amazing to see you." She smiles and pulls me into a hug. Thankfully she doesn't know that my girlfriend is my assistant. That would be all kinds of wrong if she kissed her right now. Even shook her hand. I'm all over Eliza so, no…it wouldn't be appropriate. "Miss Minnick, I believe?" She turns her attention to Eliza and my girlfriend swallows hard.

"Hello, Mrs. Robbins." Standing, she gives her a slight nod of the head. "If you could both excuse me for a moment?"

"Sure." I smile. "Everything okay?" I tease.

"Yeah, just need to use the bathroom." Giving me and my mom and awkward smile, I glance at my mother and she is giving me a knowing look. _Fuck! Caught!_ Watching Eliza walk away, she closes the door behind me and my mom bursts out in a fit of laughter.

"Um…"

"Arizona, you are sleeping with your assistant? That's a good one…old, but good."

"I'm not sleeping with my assistant, mom." I roll my eyes. "Well, I am, but she is my girlfriend. Hawaii?"

"Oh." Her eyes widen. "She's beautiful."

"Isn't she just, huh?"

"Maybe you should keep your antics out of the office, though." She smirks. "Everyone knew why I was kept waiting. Your staff isn't stupid, honey."

"Nothing was goi-"

"Don't lie to your mother, Arizona. You know I know you better than you know yourself." She gives me a raised eyebrow and settles down in a seat close to the window. "So, how long?"

"How long, what?" I ask.

"How long have you guys been dating?"

"Oh, um…almost two months, I think." Taking a seat behind my desk, I suddenly feel extremely aroused again. _Stop it! You can't have hot dirty thoughts with your mother sat facing you._ Clearing my throat, I cross my legs and pray that my mom won't stay long. _I really need to shower._ "So, what are your plans for the day?" I ask.

"I have a meeting in forty minutes so I thought I'd come by and see you first." She smiles as she glances around my office.

"If you're looking for underwear, mom, you won't find any."

"Mm, wouldn't be the first time that had happened now, would it?" She laughs. "So, where exactly has your girlfriend gone?"

"The bathroom, like she told you." I smile.

"Mmhmm…"

"Mom, can we not do this right now?" I give her a pleading look and she nods. "Eliza will already be a nervous wreck when she comes back in here, so, please…be nice."

"Okay." She gives me a smile. "I am looking forward to meeting her, though. She is very beautiful, Arizona."

"She's amazing, mom. The best I've ever had." I give her a dimpled smile and she knows in giving her nothing but the truth right now. Mom knows me better than anyone, so she knows when I'm happy and when I'm not.

"I can see that." She agrees. "Do you have any plans for this evening? I was hoping we could catch up…"

"Come over to our place. I'll cook."

" _Our_ place, huh?" She raises her eyebrow. "That happened fast."

"Mm, not fast enough in my opinion." Shrugging, the door opens and Eliza comes back inside. "Hey…I smile."

"Hi." Standing a little awkwardly, I remove myself from my seat and cross the distance between us. Taking her hand in my own, I place my free hand on the small of her back and guide her further into the room. Kicking the door shut as we go. "Mrs. Robbins." She smiles.

"Eliza, I'm so sorry I didn't realize who you were before." She stands and pulls my girlfriend into a hug. "And Barbara will be just fine. I only make the men call me Mrs. Robbins." She laughs. "Gives me that little more power."

"It's great to finally meet you." Eliza smiles as they separate from their hug. "Your place in Hawaii is amazing."

"Mm, not bad, huh?"

"Very beautiful." Eliza nods. "Thank you for allowing us to stay there."

"Oh, honey." She waves off my girlfriend's comment. "What's mine is yours…always remember that."

"Thanks." Taking a seat beside my mother, Eliza crosses her legs and shifts a little to make herself more comfortable.

"Now, I can't stay much longer, and I'm sure you two have _things_ to be doing, so dinner tonight?"

Glancing at my girlfriend, she is blushing and I have to hold back the laugh rumbling in my throat. "Yeah, we would love for you to come over."

"Excellent. Then I'll see you ladies tonight. Say, seven?"

"Seven sounds perfect, mom." Seeing my mother to the door, Eliza sits quietly and waits for me to come back into the room. One thing she should know about my mom is that she tells it like it is. She isn't a prude and she is kind of hilarious and embarrassing about it. She will get to grips with that, eventually. "Hey…" Closing my office door, Eliza sinks down into her seat and a blush creeps onto her face. "After what you just did, you cannot be embarrassed. I'm sorry…you just can't."

"Your mom knew we were having sex, Arizona. What's _not_ embarrassing about that?"

"Oh, she doesn't care." I laugh. "Mom is awesome and she is going to love you. You know why?"

"N-No. Why?" She furrows her brow.

"Because you make her daughter the happiest woman in the entire world." Pressing a kiss below her ear, I feel her body relax and it makes me feel a little more comfortable about the situation. I know what my mom is like, but Eliza doesn't. I don't ever want her to feel uncomfortable around her, and if she became too much, I'd hope she would tell me.

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Figured you could use a little introduction to Mrs. Robbins, and that is how it went.**


	32. Chapter 32

**I own nothing. All characters/storylines belong to Shonda. I'm simply 'borrowing' them.**

* * *

Chapter Thirty-Two

* * *

ELIZA'S POV

* * *

I've been pacing back at forth in front the fire for the past twenty minutes. I've never been so embarrassed in my life as I was in Arizona's office earlier. I guess it's my own fault for starting something I knew I shouldn't have. I mean, who does that in their place of work? Me, clearly. Rolling my eyes at myself, Arizona is sitting on the couch watching my every move. She's tried to reassure me, but I'm horrified by my actions. I'm devastated that her mom knows what we were doing in that office. The worst thing? She's coming to dinner tonight. I'm not sure I'll be able to look her in the eye. I'm not sure I can even be here for dinner. I should go. I know I should. It's way too soon to meet her mom, and knowing what she knows just makes me feel pathetic and like some whore.

It can never happen again. I know that. Arizona may have gotten what she wanted, and me, too, but no…it can never happen again. Sex should be performed in a bedroom and _only_ a bedroom. Okay, that's a lie. Sex should be wherever you want it to be. God, this is so messed up. Catching sight of my girlfriend out of the corner of my eye, she has a smirk on her face and it only makes me even more furious with myself. "What?" I scoff. "What is so fucking funny, Arizona?"

"You." She laughs. "Will you just relax?"

"Relax? You want me to relax when I have to meet your mother…again, and she thinks I'm some sex maniac? No, I can't relax. I should go!"

"Um, go where?" She furrows her brow.

"Anywhere." I hold up my hands. "Into a hole underground, preferably."

"Stop being so pathetic." She stands and stops me from pacing. "Just, stop!"

"How can you not be horrified?" I ask.

"Because it was all kinds of hot and I'd do it again in a heartbeat." She shrugs. "Now, please...calm down."

"I'm not feeling very calm right now, Arizona." Releasing a deep breath, my shoulders sag and I slump down on the couch. "I just…this is a bad idea."

"What is? Mom coming for dinner?" She questions. "How is that a bad idea?"

"It's too soon, Arizona. It's way too soon. I mean, look at me? What do I even wear? I _don't_ look like I belong here."

"Excuse me?" She scoffs. "You don't _look_ like you belong here?"

"No." I sigh. "You should just catch up with your mom and I'll see you tomorrow. I haven't handed the keys back to my old place yet."

"I don't think so…" She shakes her head. "You are here because you are supposed to be."

"What if your mom doesn't like me?" I ask. "Then what?"

"First of all, she _will_ like you. She will _love_ you, Eliza." Taking my hand in her own, she pulls me in a little closer and runs her thumb across my cheek. "And even if she didn't, which isn't going to happen…it wouldn't matter. I'm the one who loves you. I'm the one who gets to experience your awesomeness every day. I'm the only one who matters."

"Still...it's nice if your mom likes me, too." I drop my gaze. "She's going to know I'm not from a wealthy family. She's going to know that I'm not one of you…"

"From a wealthy family?" She raises her eyebrow. "You think I grew up like this?"

"Well, yeah." I nod.

"No." She laughs, her head shaking. "This didn't happen until I was probably around fourteen. Mom didn't hit it big until around then."

"O-Oh." Now I feel like an ass. Now I feel like a complete idiot. "Sorry…"

"For what?"

"Getting myself worked up." I smile. "Just…your mom looked really high up when she came by earlier."

"Because she was attending a business meeting." She laughs. "Do I act wealthy and powerful at night when we are here alone?"

"No." I give her a sad smile.

"Do I act that way when we are alone in the office? Or at any point when it's just us?"

"No."

"Neither does my mom." She smiles as she settles back against the couch. "And anyway, she has already told me that she thinks you're beautiful."

"Sure she has." I roll my eyes, playfully.

"Oh, she has. One thing you need to know about my mom is how forward she is. She doesn't hold back. If she has something to say, she will say it. She doesn't care for tiptoeing around people."

"So, I should prepare myself is what you are saying?" I raise an eyebrow and she shakes her head.

"No. Just be you. She will love _you_ and she will know if you are putting on a front. At home, you are my girlfriend. At home, we are together and we are happy and she already knows that. She already knows how happy you make me. Just…do you, and the rest will fall into place."

"What should I wear, though?"

"Uh, what you are already wearing." She shrugs. "Unless you wanted to change."

"Arizona, I'm in jeans and a tee."

"So? Do we usually sit at home dressed like we are attending a black-tie event?" She laughs. "I don't plan on changing, so you shouldn't, either."

"God, this is going to go terribly wrong." I place my head in my hands and she pulls me into her body. "So, I'm apologizing now."

"Just relax, Eliza." Her fingers running through my hair, her touch settles me a little. Not enough to be overly comfortable with the situation, though.

* * *

My heart is in my mouth right now. My hands are clammy and I swear I'm a little dizzy. I've never met a girlfriend's mom before. Probably because I've never really had a girlfriend, but still…I feel nauseous. I feel like I need the floor to open up and swallow me whole. Arizona's mom has just called to say she is headed up in the elevator, and honestly…I could cry right now I'm so nervous. Arizona hasn't mentioned anymore since my meltdown a little while ago and I'm not sure if that's a good or a bad thing. I mean, not talking about it probably makes me less anxious, but talking about it may have reassured me a little more. "Arizona…"

"What's up, beautiful?"

"Didn't you tell your mom you would be cooking?" I ask as she prepares food on the dining room table that has been ordered in.

"Mom knows I can't cook." She smiles. "And she loves Carluccio."

"Yeah, it is a pretty amazing restaurant." I give her a nod in agreement and shove my hands into my back pockets. "Was there anything you wanted me to do?"

"Relax." She glances up at me and gives me a sad smile. "I just want you to relax." A light knocking on the door causing me to jump, Arizona laughs and shakes her head. "I'll get the door, huh?"

"Sorry." I sigh. Moving into the middle of the room, I stand close to the kitchen counter and prepare myself for the night ahead of me. I don't know much about her mom, but my girlfriend assures me that she is great. She seemed pretty nice when I kind of met her earlier, but I didn't really get much of chance to talk to her. I was too busy feeling embarrassed to even speak.

The door opening, Arizona's mom is on the other side, a bottle of red wine in her hand. "Mom, come on in." Stepping aside, Mrs. Robbins heads inside and her eyes land on me.

"Great to see you again, Eliza." Heading my way, she sets the bottle of wine down on the kitchen counter and pulls me into a hug. "How are you this evening?" She pulls back and smiles, her hands still firmly either side of my shoulders.

"Good, thank you." I nod. "Yourself?"

"Pretty good." She shrugs. "Got myself a new property so I can't complain."

"That's great." I smile.

"Mom, tonight is Carluccio, okay?" Pulling her attention from me, Arizona sets down a few plates on the dinner table and we both make our way over.

"Maybe now you have Eliza in your life, she could show you how to cook. I know I didn't raise you to order in every time I visit."

"Oh, and I'm sure you'd have enjoyed it if I'd cooked, huh?" Arizona laughs. "Like last time?"

"Mm, maybe not." She agrees, a grimace on her face. "Do you cook, Eliza?" She turns and faces me.

"I can. Arizona doesn't usually give me much option to cook, though. Dinner is usually ordered before we even make it home." I smile as I round the table.

"Hey! I'm just trying to make sure my lady is well fed. Nothing wrong with that, right mom?"

"Right, honey." Barbara smiles. "You really don't want Arizona's food…trust me." Settling down across the table from us, Barbara helps herself to various dishes and I sit patiently. I'm not sure how dinner at the table goes if I'm being totally honest, so I'll watch. I'm sure I'll get the hang of it, eventually. "So, Eliza." She studies my face. "What brought you to New York?"

"Arizona." I smile, and my girlfriend takes my hand in her own. "Well, the job…really."

"So, you lied to your mother?" Barbara raises her eyebrow as her eyes land on her daughter. "You _were_ hooking up with your assistant, huh?" Both of them laughing, I sink down in my seat a little and watch their interaction. Barbara throwing her daughter a wink, I furrow my brow.

"No, mom." Arizona smiles. "I met Eliza before I knew she was going to be my assistant. To say I was a little surprised when she walked through my door would be an understatement."

"Oh, you didn't know?" She switches her gaze between us both as she opens up a bottle of wine.

"No, I didn't know about Arizona's alias."

"Mmhmm…" Barbara gives me a nod as she stands and shares out the bottle of wine in her hand. "That alias has caught a few people off guard."

"Yeah." I smile. "We tried to stop the relationship, but well…" Cutting myself off, she gives me a smile.

"But you love each other…" She gives me a nod and Arizona tightens her grip on my hand. "I can see it…" She speaks as she brings her glass of wine up to her lips.

"We do." I agree. Feeling a little more relaxed, I take a container of food and put some on my plate. "Arizona is pretty awesome."

"She is." Barbara agrees. "I'm just happy she has finally found someone who I like."

"Wait, what?" Arizona drops her fork down on her plate. "You hated the others I've dated?"

"Yes, honey." She smiles. "Wasn't it obvious?"

"No." She scoffs. "You could have told me. You know, put me out of my misery…"

"No, sweetie. You had to figure that out for yourself." She winks and switches her gaze back to me. "Have you met any of Arizona's… _friends_ yet?"

"Friends?" I ask.

"She's talking about my exes, Eliza." Arizona rolls her eyes.

"Oh." I laugh. "Yeah…"

"So, you could see why I had a problem with my daughter dating them?" She raises an eyebrow.

"Oh, I've only met one, Barbara. I don't really have an opinion."

"Mm, well if you've met Alexis, you have an opinion."

"Mom." Arizona gives her a hard stare. "Can we not have this discussion?"

"Sure." She shrugs.

"How is dad doing?" Arizona asks.

"Your father is the same as usual. Pretends to not like what I do but is perfectly fine spending my money on fine whiskeys."

"But he's okay?" She smiles. "I should really call him. It's been a few weeks."

"He's fine, honey. He misses Tim, but he's okay."'

"Mm, Tim hasn't bothered to call me since he left." She drops her gaze.

"He's just getting settled in, sweetie. He will call when he has time."

"Yeah, sure he will." Arizona scoffs. "He's probably taking all kinds of girls back to his place."

"And good for him if he is." Barbara laughs. "Now, how about we get finished up here so you ladies can get back to your evening?"

"You are welcome to stay, mom."

"Oh, no." She shakes her head. "I have a wonderful hotel room to spend the night in."

"If you're sure?" My girlfriend asks.

"I am, honey...but thank you." Continuing dinner in a comfortable silence, I feel a lot more at ease. Arizona's mom is pretty down to earth, and I have a feeling I'm going to get along great with her. I don't know what she was about to say where Alexis is concerned, but clearly…Arizona doesn't want that to be a part of this dinner discussion.

* * *

Dinner over, the three of us have sat talking for a little while and Barbara is now about to head off for the night. Now that the atmosphere is a lot more relaxed, I feel like I, where I should be. I feel like I know I belong here. Barbara hasn't once looked down her nose at me, and even though I wasn't sure what to expect...she has been a typical mom. I mean, she turned up here in a pair of jeans. Not a suit like I expected. Honestly, she's been great. Really great.

"Right, Ladies." Setting her wine glass down on the coffee table, she stands and straightens herself out a little. "Dinner was amazing, as always." Giving her daughter a knowing smile, she pulls Arizona into a hug and I stand also. "It's been a great evening, thank you both."

Wrapping my arms around Barbara, she pulls me in a little closer than before and lowers her tone. "Thank you for making my daughter so unbelievably happy, Eliza."

"Oh, I think it's the other way around but I'll take what I can get." She shakes her head laughing and releases me from her grip. "Thanks for coming by."

"Arizona, I have to head home tomorrow but I was wondering if I could meet with you before I leave? I have something I need to talk to you about."

"Sure." She nods. "Coffee? Usual place?"

"Perfect." Heading to the door with Arizona and her mom, we say our goodbyes and Barbara heads down to the car Arizona has arranged for her.

The door closing, Arizona turns and gives me a knowing smile. Furrowing my brow, I study her face and she wraps her arms around my waist. "My mom loves you."

"Um, how do you know?" I ask.

"She wouldn't have mentioned my exes if she didn't. She wouldn't have talked to you more than she did me if she didn't like you, Eliza."

"I thought you couldn't read her since you didn't know she didn't like any of your exes?" I counter.

"Of course, I knew she didn't like them." Placing a soft kiss on my lips, she pulls back and gives me a smile. "And that is exactly how I know that she absolutely loves you."

"Really?"

"Really." She nods. "My mother has never thanked anyone for making me happy. She's never thanked any of them...because she knew I was never truly happy with them."

"Wow, okay." I smile. "Kinda good to hear you say that."

"You really thought she wouldn't like you?" She gives me a look of confusion and I nod. "Why the hell would you ever think that? My mom and I are very similar, so she was always going to love you, Eliza."

"I've never met the parents before. Or, the parent in this case. I didn't know how to be or how to act around her. I didn't even know if it was okay to touch you or hold your hand."

"Oh, baby." Pulling me into another kiss, she smiles against my lips and takes my bottom lip between her teeth. "Mm…" My head spinning, I know that she is silently thanking me for hanging around despite my worries. I know she is telling me that my inexperience doesn't matter. None of it matters because I'm here in her arms, and I always will be. Now that I know what to expect, I can truly be myself. Now that I know at least someone's mom accepts us, Arizona's, I can allow those worries about our relationship truly slip away.

 _Now, I can be unbelievably happy…_

* * *

 **Thanks for reading guys. Again, your reviews have been great.**


	33. Chapter 33

**I own nothing. All characters/storylines belong to Shonda. I'm simply 'borrowing' them.**

* * *

Chapter Thirty-Three

* * *

ARIZONA'S POV

* * *

It's been a long day, and right now I cannot wait to leave and allow work to stay at the office. I've had call after call today. Six meetings in between and I now have an issue with one of my contractors. Honestly, the sooner this day is over...the better. Eliza has run herself ragged all day, and I'm not sure anyone else would have done that if I had a different assistant. After today, I'm pretty sure they'd have walked. After today, I'm ready to walk. My girlfriend has just arrived back to the office with two strong coffees and I only have an hour before I have to meet with my mom before she jets off to somewhere else in the world. I'm proud of her for all that she does...but I really don't know how she does it. I don't know how she finds the time when it's property after property. Her portfolio is twice the size of mine, and she is double my age. I just don't know how she does it.

Settled back in my seat, I bring my coffee up to my lips and sigh as the aroma hits me. I'm pretty sure I was bordering on withdrawal before Eliza brought me it. Glancing over towards my girlfriend's desk, she is pinching the bridge of her nose and removing her heels. "Hey, are you okay?" I ask, my brow furrowed.

"Yeah…my feet have died." She sighs as she kicks them off and moans in pain. "Sorry, just give me like two minutes and I'll be back at it."

"Um, no you won't." I laugh. "You've done more than enough today, Eliza. Just relax for a little while."

"Honestly, I'll be fine. I just need five to regroup." Sipping on her own coffee, she groans as it hits her throat and I can't help the smile that appears on my face. "That is so good right now."

"Mmhmm." I agree. "Come sit over here. Take a break." Watching as she stands and grabs her coffee, she moves towards my desk and pulls a nearby chair up beside me. Slumping down in it, she sighs and gives me a sad smile. "Feet up!" Patting my thigh, her eyes brighten and she does as I say. "Thank you for working your ass off today." I smile.

"It's my job, Arizona."

"I know, but you've been like three different people for me today, and I didn't expect that from you." My hands working her calf muscle, her eyes close and she releases a deep sigh. "You really are probably the best I've ever employed."

"You're just saying that because I'm your girlfriend." She laughs. "But I'll take it."

"No, that's really not the reason why." I shake my head. "You really are amazing at your job. Girlfriend or not…"

"Thanks." She accepts my compliment a little better than I thought she would. "So, what's next?"

"Nothing." I breathe out as I take another sip of my coffee. "I don't have anything else now other than meeting my mom."

"Right, your awesome mom." She gives me a genuine smile and I like the idea of her getting friendly with my mother. "Where are you guys meeting?"

"Roast." She shrugs. "Did you want to come along?" I'm hoping she will say no because I want to speak to my mom about her, but if she wants to come along, that's totally fine.

"No, I think I'll head home if that's okay?" She raises an eyebrow. "I need to get those damn heels off and relax in my sweats. I mean, I'm all for the professional look, but not any longer than I have to."

"I don't blame you. It's been one hell of a day." I agree. "You head home and decide what's for dinner. I'll order on the way home. I'll only be an hour or so because mom has a flight to catch."

"You sure?" She asks. "I don't want your mom to think I'm being rude…"

"She wouldn't, beautiful. She knows how crazy it gets in the office."

"Okay. You'll tell her I said hi, though, right?"

"Of course, I will." I smile. "You deserve an early finish after the work today." My hand running up and down her leg, she throws her head back and releases one hell of a moan. "And you can stop that right now…" I laugh.

"Stop what?"

"Turning me on," I state as my teeth tug on my bottom lip.

"Um…I wasn't aware that I was." She scoffs.

"Mm…that sound coming from that mouth will _always_ turn me on, Eliza."

"Well, I'll remember that." Throwing me a wink, she drops her legs from their position over my own and leans in a little. Catching sight of that amazing cleavage, I close my eyes and her lips ghost over my own. "Wouldn't want to be unnecessarily turning you on now, would I?" Her tongue running across my bottom lip, I release a moan of my own and she smirks. "Flirting with your assistant is bad, Miss Robbins."

"Ugh." It's all I have to give her right now. I have no words for how crazy this woman makes me feel. Squeezing my thighs together, she notices this and her fingertips brush against my knee before trailing a little further up and disappearing beneath my skirt. "Eliza…"

"Mm?" Pulling away, my eyes shoot open and she's gone. "You okay?" She asks, her hand resting on my desk and her body leaning over my own.

"Y-Yeah." I clear my throat as I straighten out my blazer. "I should finish up here so I can leave." Removing my glasses, I set them down on a stack of papers and focus my eyes on the screen in front of me. I just need to get myself together and then everything will be okay. Easier said than done when you soaked, though, huh?

"Yeah, you have places to be, beautiful." Slipping her heels back on, she groans and grabs her purse. "I'll see you at home, okay?"

"You will." I smile. "I love you."

"I love you, too."

* * *

"Is Eliza not joining us?" Mom furrows her brow as I settle down in my seat. "Is everything okay?"

"Everything is fine, mom." I smile. I can see the worry in her eyes, but she really has to reason to worry. "Bad day at the office so she left a little earlier than me."

"Okay…" Mom nods. "Good thing actually. I wanted to speak to you."

"About what?" I ask. "Eliza?"

"I guess so, yeah." She brings her coffee cup up to her lips and I'm not entirely sure what it is she wants to talk about. Why would she want to discuss anything about my girlfriend? "I can see that you are happy, Arizona."

"I am, mom." Resting back in my seat, I cross my legs and narrow my eyes. "Is that all you wanted to say?"

"Oh, no. Honey, I just want to be sure that you know what you are doing."

"What's that supposed to mean?" I scoff.

"Stop getting defensive, Arizona. I'm your mother…I'm supposed to worry about you."

"I'm 32, so I think I can look after myself." I give her a sarcastic smile and she simply rolls her eyes. "I thought you liked her?"

"Oh, I do." She agrees. "She is _excellent_ for you."

"Then I don't understand why you have asked me here to talk about her."

"I just want to know a little more about her, sweetie. Is that too much to ask?" She gives me a sad smile. "She seems very…closed off, shall we say?"

"Yeah, she's had a bad time lately, is all." Glancing up at my mom, I can see that she is waiting for more. I can see that she wants in on Eliza's life. I trust her enough to never bring it up, though. "She just…it hasn't been good."

"Between the two of you?"

"No, no." I shake my head. "Well, at times it got a little too close for comfort but it was just a case of reassuring her. It was just a case of letting her know that I would always be there for her…"

"Oh, honey. I knew I raised you right." She smiles. "You have a good heart."

"I do." I agree. "Can I tell you something, mom? Can I tell you and know that you will never bring it up around her?"

"Of course, you can…" She nods. "What is it?"

"Her mom." I sigh. "She just...she's horrible. Vile. Nasty."

"Arizona." She raises an eyebrow when she hears the disrespect in my voice. "You cannot talk about people like that."

"Oh, I can where her mom is concerned." I laugh. "She disowned her, mom. She disowned her own daughter for loving me."

"Oh, sweetie." My voice breaking, she sits forward in her seat and places her hand over my own. "Some people cannot accept your life, but those people don't really matter. I hope you know that…"

"She sent her away for conversion therapy. I think being unable to accept it is a little light, don't you think?"

"She never." A horrified look on my mothers face, I simply nod and she shakes her head. "That's truly awful."

"I know." I sigh. "She came here. She was trying to have Eliza married off to some guy and she came here and demanded she returns back home with her. It was so sad, mom. How she spoke to her. How she treated her. I just…I hate her."

"But she eventually gave up, I assume?"

"Oh yeah." I scoff. "She gave up when she saw dollar signs."

"What did you do, Arizona?" My mom glaring at me, hard, I suddenly feel like I'm six years old.

"I paid her off."

"Oh, you didn't." She sighs and drops her gaze. "You know that money never solves problems. You know that it doesn't put a situation to rest."

"It did this time." I shrug. "And I'd do it again if it meant she wasn't hurting my girlfriend."

"Please don't do that again, honey. If she knows she can come here and act that way and receive money as the end result, she will only come back time and time again. People like her are too predictable."

"Yeah, well…I've warned her about getting an order out against Eliza so she cannot contact her, so I'm hoping that one cheque was enough." I set my coffee cup down and run my fingers through my hair. "I just want her to be happy, mom. I thought I was doing the right thing."

"I know you did." She smiles. "Just...speak to me next time before you do anything like that again. There is always another way."

"Yeah, maybe." I give my mom what she wants to hear, but I saw Eliza's mom. I saw that complete hate for her daughter in her eyes. So yeah, I would do it all over again if I had to. I don't regret my choice. "What time do you have to leave?"

"Soon honey."

"Okay, but you'll visit again soon, right? I hate not seeing you for months on end."

"Of course, I will." She stands and pulls me up into a hug. "You keep that girl of yours close by. She's the only one I've ever liked."

"She's pretty great, isn't she?"

"She makes my daughter happy, so I'd say she's pretty perfect." Throwing me a wink, I pull her into another hug and mom tightens her grip. "Protect her, Arizona. I can see how much love you have for each other."

"I will." I smile as I release myself from moms grip and grab my purse. "Tell dad I say hi, okay?" Giving me a nod, we both head out onto the busy New York streets and say our final goodbyes. "I do love her, mom. So much."

"I know you do, Arizona. Your eyes tell me everything I need to know."

"Where are you headed now?" I ask as we make our way down the street. I'm only a short walk from home and mom has arranged her own car, so Rich has the night off.

"California." She states. "Don't let anything ruin this for you, honey…okay?"

"I won't." _I definitely won't._ "Alexis is in town."

"No. Don't even think about it." She gives me a hard stare.

"What? You are joking, right? You really think I'd go back to her when I have Eliza at home waiting for me? Wow, I thought you knew me better than that, mom." Lacing her arm through my own, she leans into me and we cross the street.

"I do know you, Arizona…very well." She laughs. "If you aren't thinking about it, why did you tell me?"

"Because she wants me out in Cuba to work on one of her properties." I shrug.

"So?"

"So I don't know if it is a good idea. Eliza is already very wary of her."

"Mm, and your girlfriend has good reason to be." She nods. "You guys have worked together before, though, so I trust that nothing will happen between you both."

"I'd never even think about hurting Eliza like that, Mom. Never. I just…she says that she is okay with it, but is she really?"

"You will have to speak to Eliza about that. I cannot answer for her."

"I'm just scared, okay? I'm scared that I'll mess this all up and I'll lose the only woman I've ever truly cared about."

"I know, honey, but you cannot let your worries stop you from being amazing. If Alexis wants your work in her property, you would be a fool to give that opportunity up. I know how amazing you are, and so does she…so, speak to Eliza and be sure that she is okay before you make a decision."

"Thanks, mom." Pulling her into a final hug, her driver steps out of the car and rounds the back. The door opening, she gives me one last smile and disappears into the back of the limousine. "Love you."

"I love you, too, honey. I'll call you next week."

* * *

The elevator reaching my landing, I've never been so relieved to be home before. Knowing that my girlfriend is behind the door in front of me only makes my happiness even greater. A happiness that can only be likened to your heart bursting out of your chest. Swiping my key down the lock, the green light flashes and I step inside. My heels off of my feet before I've even stepped over the threshold, I moan in appreciation and close the door. Locking it up behind me to remind myself that we are done for the day. Nobody to interrupt us. Nobody to test our mood.

The most amazing smell attacking my nose as I move further inside, I furrow my brow and glance around. With no sign of my girlfriend, I set my purse and keys down and shrug my blazer from my shoulders. She must be home…there is food cooking in my rarely used oven. The only time I've ever used it is when I've been holding dinner parties and I hire someone in to cook. My mom is right…I _do not_ cook. I _never_ cook. It just…its unheard of and not a very pleasant experience. Food is safer in everyone else's hands but my own. I don't know why I'm so bad, I mean…mom has always been an amazing cook. I guess I just didn't pay enough attention growing up. I'd sooner relax and catch up on the latest TV than help mom out in the kitchen. Now, though, I regret that. I regret not being able to stand at the stove while Eliza sits up on the counter watching me. I'm sure she is okay with it, though.

Heading down the hallway, I can hear soft music playing behind the master bathroom door, and it makes my heart swell. Taking a seat on the floor beside the flower bathroom door, I listen intently as the sound of my girlfriend's soft voice reaches my ears. It's a sound I could definitely get used to.

 ** _There's so much craziness surrounding me_**

 ** _There's so much going on it gets hard to breathe_**

 ** _All my faith has gone you bring it back to me_**

 ** _You make it real for me_**

 ** _Well I'm not sure of my priorities_**

 ** _I've lost site of where I'm meant to be_**

 ** _And like holy water washing over me_**

 ** _You make it real for me_**

 ** _And I'm running to you baby_**

 ** _You are the only one who save me_**

 ** _That's why I've been missing you lately_**

 ** _'Cause you make it real for me_**

My smile growing wider with every word my girlfriend sings, I rest my head back against the wall and bring my knees up to my chest. I've never felt this way. I've never felt so unbelievably happy in my entire life. Even when I bought my first property. Even when I won my first award. None of it compares to this. I mean, I've been happy sitting on an exotic beach with nothing but fresh air and crystal blue ocean surrounding me, and I've been happy purchasing cars and stuff I really don't need…but this? This is indescribable. Eliza is indescribable. Everything about my life right now often leaves me speechless.

 ** _When my head is strong but my heart is weak  
I'm full of arrogance and uncertainty  
But I can find the words  
You teach my heart to speak_**

 ** _You make it real for me  
And I'm running to you baby  
You are the only one who save me  
That's why I've been missing you lately  
'Cause you make it real for me_**

Her voice a little hoarse, it only makes me fall in love with her all over again. As far as she knows, she is home alone without a care in the world. I love listening to her like this. Like this when she is alone with her own thoughts. Her own feelings. I'm not here to influence any of her emotion right now, because she doesn't even know I'm here. This…this is her true emotion. Her true self. Right now, I'm loving her true self. So long as she knows she can be like this when I am present, I don't have any issues here. I don't want her to have to be something she's not. I don't want her to put on an act because she believes it's the right thing to do or what I want. That couldn't be further from the truth. I love her for who she is, and I always will.

 ** _Everybody's talking in words  
I don't understand  
You got to be the only one  
Who knows just who I am  
And you shine in the distance  
I hope I can make it through  
'Cause the only place  
That I want to be  
Is right back home with you_**

 ** _I guess there's so much more  
I have to run  
But if you're here with me  
I know which way to turn  
You always give me somewhere,  
Somewhere I can run_**

I need to see her. I need to look into those intense green eyes and tell her how much I love her. I have to. I cannot sit here any longer and pretend to be invisible. I cannot creep around listening to her all night. Getting back up to my feet, I pull my hair up into a messy bun and knock lightly on the bathroom door. "Eliza?"

"Y-Yeah?" She stutters.

"Can I come in?" I ask. I'd never just walk into the bathroom no matter how close we are. No matter how much we have seen each other naked…I just wouldn't.

"Sure. Yeah." Turning the handle, I tilt my head glance around the side of the door and give her a smile. "How was your mom?"

"She's good." I nod. Stepping further inside and closing the door behind me, I close the distance between us and come to rest on my knees beside the tub. "I love you, you know that, right?"

"Y-Yeah." She furrows her brow. "I know you do."

"Good." I smile. "I just wanted to make sure you remembered." Running my fingers through her hair, I rest my head in the palm of my hand and prop myself up on my elbow. "I love you so much, Eliza."

"I love you, too, Arizona." Giving me a full smile, she studies my face and I sense that she thinks there is something wrong. "Are you okay?" She asks. A little concern in her eyes. "Are you breaking up with me?"

"No, beautiful." I give her a sad smile. "I just need you to know that I love you more every single day I wake beside you."

"That's really sweet." She blushes.

"It's the truth is what it is." I sigh. "You are so beautiful and I don't know how I got so lucky."

"What's brought this on?" She furrows her brow.

"Nothing. I'm just in one of those moods." I shrug as I run my fingertips up the damp skin of her arm. "Nothing is more important to me than your happiness, and I need you to know that. I just…I wanted you to know, okay?"

"Okay." She smiles. "Dinner will be ready soon if you wanted to change first."

"Y-You cooked dinner?" I ask, a look of confusion on my face.

"Um, yeah." She nods. "Just something your mom said last night about whether I cook or not."

"You didn't have to do that just because she questioned you." I shake my head. "She just likes to play around because I cook so bad."

"But I wanted to cook for you…" She sits up in the tub and I hand her a huge fluffy towel. "You don't mind, do you?"

"Of course not."

"Okay, it's not much but I tried, anyway." She gives me an awkward smile and steps out of the tub.

"Eliza…" I breathe out as I wrap my arms around her waist. "Nobody has _ever_ cooked for me before, so I'm pretty confident that it will be amazing."

"Nobody?" She asks, a little shocked.

"Nope. Nobody." _This is why I love her even more._ She doesn't just go with how she thinks I want it to be. She tries. She tries harder than anyone I know. I mean, she has just had the day from hell but she came home and she cooked dinner. That to me is amazing. She is amazing. I know I tell her she is many times a day, but still…she just makes me want to burst with love every time I look at her. I'm completely in awe of her, and I always will be.

"Well, that changes right now…" She smiles. "Come on, let's get some food inside of us."

Releasing her from my grip, I follow her out of the bathroom and straight into the bedroom. Both of us changing into nothing but complete comfort, I head out into the living room and light the fire. Tonight is going to be a comfort kind of night…I can just feel it.

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome as always.**

 **Song was 'You make it real' by James Morrison.**


	34. Chapter 34

*****FLUFF ALERT*****

 **I own nothing. All characters/storylines belong to Shonda. I'm simply 'borrowing' them.**

* * *

Chapter Thirty-Four

* * *

ELIZA'S POV

* * *

This past week has been amazing. Like, breathtakingly beautiful kind of amazing. Sure, the work has been full on, but the second we step out of that office…it's just us. No drivers. No secretaries. Nobody but the company of each other, and honestly…it's the best kind of company I've _ever_ had. Arizona has been a little quiet at the office today, but I think this week has hit her hard. It's the most work I've had on since I joined the company, so I'd imagine she's fried after this week. Her mom returned home last week, and I get the impression that she has given us her complete blessing. I'm sure Arizona doesn't need it, but after the way my mom dealt with things, it's nice to know that someone approves. Her mom is awesome. Lovely. Really sweet. I just wish my own mother could be just a fraction of that. I don't ever expect it to happen and I've already come to terms with what she thinks of me, but that's okay. It's okay because since I knew she had left my life, it's been made significantly better. Better because I don't have the stress and the worry of her catching me in the act. Better because I don't have to please her anymore. It was pretty hard going having to please her, and once it finally sunk in that she was gone…probably never to be seen again, I just felt like a weight has been lifted. A weight the strength of the entire world if I'm being honest. It was just hard work. Everything about my relationship with my mom was hard work. Barbara seems the total opposite, though, and I'm glad Arizona has someone like that in her life. I'm glad she hasn't had to go to through what I have. I wouldn't wish that on anybody.

Maybe I'm being a little dramatic in how I feel about my mom, but if anyone else had ever had to deal with her, they would know exactly how I felt. They would know that she was an emotionless cold-hearted bitch. Just half an hour in a room with proves that. Realistically, I'd like to one day have her appear at my door and tell me how proud she is of me, but I know there is no chance of that happening. I don't know what was said between her and my girlfriend in that hotel room, but I suspect she said some hurtful things. Both to Arizona, and about me. She has no filter and she uses every possible opportunity to bring me down if she can.

I hadn't planned to sit here thinking about her, but Arizona is showering and it's the first time since Barbara left that I've had the chance to sit down and think about the differences in our relationships. It literally is like going from one extreme to the other. Anyway, I don't know why I give that woman the headspace. I don't know why I even allow her to enter my thoughts. She is my mom, though, and she did bring me into this world…so I can't totally hate her. Not how I'd really like to, anyway.

A little movement coming from behind me, I glance over my shoulder and find Arizona approaching me. I've been sitting in the window seat for around forty minutes but it's been nice to relax. Regardless of what is going through my head. "Nice shower?" I ask as she comes to rest beside me.

"Guess so, yeah." She shrugs. "Just feeling wiped right now." She sighs.

"Yeah, you've worked pretty hard this week, baby." Taking her hand in my own, her eyes find mine and I'm not sure I've ever seen her looking so tired. "You wanna grab an early night?"

"But it's Friday night." She whines.

"So?"

"So, Friday is our night, Eliza. We do movies. We do food. We do nothing." She states.

"Isn't every night our night, though, Arizona?" I ask, my thing running over her knuckles. "Don't we relax every night together?"

"Yeah, but I'm sure you don't want to be taking an early night because I'm _old_ and tired." She scoffs.

"Hold up!" I laugh. "You _didn't_ just say what I think you did?"

"Eliza…" She breathes out. "It's Friday night. You should be out drinking and partying. Not lying in bed with me before what?…" Glancing at the clock, she shakes her head. "…9pm!"

Standing, I pull her up to her feet and wrap my arms around her waist. "Hey, if I want to lie in bed with my girlfriend on a Friday night at 9 pm, I will. _You_ and nobody else will tell me any different, okay?" Raising an eyebrow she gives me a small smile but I know she is thinking about something. "So, we go to bed…and you can tell me what is going on in that beautiful head of yours."

"Nothing." She sighs. "I'm just being stupid."

"If it's on your mind, it's not stupid, Arizona." Placing a soft kiss on her lips, I pull back and she drops her gaze. "Come on, I want to hear all about it." Guiding her through our condo, we head off down the short hallway and reach the bedroom. She is really feeling it tonight and I can tell by the way she is carrying herself. I can see the tension but the tiredness in her shoulders as she plods through the bedroom around to her side of the bed.

Shutting off the light, our bedroom is illuminated only by the lights of New York and it's amazing. I'm not sure I'll ever get tired of the view, or how it makes me feel. It's just…it's breathtaking. Absolutely astounding. Climbing into bed beside my girlfriend, she turns on her side and faces me. I can see her eyes fighting to stay open but that's okay. Tomorrow is a new day. Fresh. Reborn, shall we say? So, if she really needs to sleep, I won't stop her.

Giving her a genuine smile, our hands meet beneath the sheet covering our bodies and she laces her fingers with my own. "You'll tell me if you ever get bored of me, won't you?"

"Arizona, what's wrong?" I ask, worry evident on my face.

"Just…you'll tell me, right?" _Okay, so the tables seem to have turned and now it's her turn to be insecure._ I don't like how she is feeling, but something must be on her mind. I don't know what has caused it, but it's there, nonetheless. "Promise me you'll tell me and I'll try to be better."

"Baby, I will never get bored of you." My grip tightening on her hand, she gives a slight shrug of the shoulders and I lie on my back and motion for her to rest her head against my chest. "Come here…"

Settling down against me, she drapes her leg over my own and sighs. "Sorry, I just…why would you want to do this on a Friday night? You should be out enjoying yourself."

"I am enjoying myself, thank you very much." My fingertips trailing up and down her bare arm, she relaxes a little but I know she still isn't okay. "Where has this come from, baby?"

"Just a feeling I have tonight." She shrugs. "I don't expect you to stay home every night. Not if you'd rather be out with friends."

"I don't have any friends here, Arizona."

"That's because you are either working or at home with me." She states. "How are you supposed to meet people if you don't go out and socialize?"

"I'm happy here with you, Arizona. Jo is the only friend I really have, and I'm fine with that. The fewer friends you have, the less drama and trouble you have in your life."

"Mm, that's true…but still, if it gets boring, tell me."

"It's not going to get boring." I smile as I run my fingers through her hair. "Nothing about you is boring…trust me."

"I'm older than you, Eliza. Maybe not that much, but I've done it all. I've partied. I've vacationed with friends. I've had the fun." _Had the fun? What does that even mean?_

"Good for you." I shrug. "You may be older than me, but that doesn't mean I want different things to you."

"So, you don't want to be out there traveling and meeting new people? You don't want to be out there seeing what the world has to offer? You are quite happy here with me?"

"Yep." I really don't need to give her any more than that. My answer to her question is as simple as a yes.

"I find that hard to believe." Glancing up at me, her eyes find mine and I sense a little uncertainty. "You are young…this is totally boring for you. It's boring for me, too."

"Hey…" I give her a hard stare. "Don't do that."

"Do what?" She furrows her brow. "I'm just telling you how I feel."

"And I appreciate that…but when it makes no sense at all, I won't allow you to think that I may one day get bored of you. Of us. Of this."

"Sorry." She sighs.

"I don't know where our future is headed, Arizona. I don't know what is in store for us or what we will face, but I know that my love for you will never change. I know that I will still feel this way in ten years. Twenty years. Hell, I'll be telling you the same thing when we are old and retired, okay?"

"You really mean that?" She smiles, her voice breaking a little.

"Of course, I do."

"I just…I know we're good right now. Amazing even. I just sometimes worry that I won't be enough for you one day. You'll want more. The partying. The messing around. You know, the things people your age do right now? I didn't mean to offend you or upset you…I just worry, okay? You have your insecurities, and I have mine. So yeah, the fear of you leaving me for someone younger does play on my mind. I guess today I was just feeling it a little more."

"That's not even going to happen, beautiful." My thumb running over her cheek, her eyes close and I continue my movements against her skin. Her breathing is already beginning to even out and I know she will be asleep in seconds, but that's okay. I know how I feel about her, and deep down, she does too. So, tonight we will sleep and recharge…and tomorrow is another day. Another amazing day with my girlfriend.

* * *

Waking to dark miserable skies, I pull the sheet up my body and nuzzle down into my girlfriend. The weather looks awful, and honestly…it's making me not want to leave this bed all day. I'd quite happily stay here all day…but I'm sure Arizona has something planned. She usually does. She has a hectic life like that. When we first met, she told me that she liked to laze around at weekends but we usually end up disappearing somewhere. We usually end up outside doing something. I'm not complaining, but the weather is _really_ making me want to stay home today.

Her body turning away from me a little, I wrap my arm around her waist and pull her back against me. Her hands finding my own, she laces her fingers through mine and moans as her body relaxes once again. She is in nothing but a pair of boy shorts right now, but it's a little cold in here this morning. Sitting up a little, I grab the thick fleece throw from the bottom of our bed and pull it up over us. Goosebumps appearing on her skin as the sheet shifts and the cool air hits her naked body, I snuggle up to her and she sighs. "Thank you."

"Figured you'd be a little cold," I whisper as my lips find her neck and place a kiss below her ear. "Weather ain't good this morning."

"Mm." She gives me a sleepy nod in agreement and it makes me smile. "Gets like that sometimes."

"Did you have anything planned today?"

Shaking her head a little, I'm not sure I've ever been more thankful. "Wanna just kick back today? Relax…do nothing?"

"If that's what to want to do, yeah." She mumbles as she pulls my other arm around her and rests her head on it. "But not if it's because of last night." She sighs.

"It's not because of last night. I just don't want to leave home today."

"Okay…" She yawns.

"Did you sleep well?"

"Mm, I did." Her body turning in my arms, her blue eyes open a little better and her sleep filled voice makes me smile. "I feel well rested."

"Good. It's always good to recharge a little. Never did anybody any harm." I shrug a little. "Now, what can I do to make you feel better about last night?"

"Just hold me, yeah?" She gives me a hopeful look and I pull her body into mine. Shifting down in the bed a little, my face becomes level with Arizona's and she gives me a tired smile. "Thank you." Pulling the blanket tighter around our bodies, the heat radiating from us both makes me more relaxed and comfortable than I've ever been in my life. Our legs tangling together, she hums in appreciation and I think about everything I have in my life right now.

I mean, I don't have much, technically, but I have Arizona. She will always be more than enough for me. She will always be the one I turn to when I need someone whether I have other people in my life or not. She has so much to give and honestly, I'd be a fool to ever allow my eyes to divert to someone else. I know we all have our moments of jealousy and what not, but ultimately…we come together at the end of the day and we love each other unconditionally. We both know that.

Honestly, I've never seen Arizona as the insecure type, but it seems she is. Maybe I was blinded by the whole businesswoman front, but she's human, she has a heart, and so yeah…she has every right to be insecure. Just like everyone else in the world. I just hope this hasn't been eating her up inside. I hope she hasn't been sleeping on this for weeks because it would break my heart if I knew she had been thinking about this every night when she fell asleep. Nobody should be insecure in their relationship. Nobody should feel like one day it's going to turn to shit and they will be left alone. Arizona deserves every ounce of love I have to give to her, and I hope she knows she is worth that love…regardless of her age, her status, her power. She is love. My love. Our love. Everything I could ever want in a relationship and everything I could ever want in my life. "Hey, are you still awake?" I whisper against messy blonde hair.

"Mm…" She moans.

"Just wanted to say that I love you." Placing a kiss on her forehead, she tightens her grip around my waist and smiles against my chest. "More than anything…"

"I love you, too." She whispers. Settling back down for another hour or so of sleep, I know I'm going to sleep with a smile on my face. Seems to be the way lately. Am I complaining? No. No way. Do I love the effect she has on me? How she makes me feel? More than anything in this world.

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome if you are still following this fic. I fully expect you to tell me if Ariliza is becoming nonexistent, but for those who are still reading… Thanks for sticking it out. If you want more, you can have it. Whatever the majority wants.**


	35. Chapter 35

**I own nothing. All characters/storylines belong to Shonda. I'm simply 'borrowing' them.**

* * *

Chapter Thirty-Five

* * *

ARIZONA'S POV

* * *

 _Whoa._ When did I become so pathetic and insecure, huh? When did I allow my own fears to get the better of me? I don't understand and I don't like it. Arizona Robbins _does not_ get insecure. She doesn't allow things to play on her mind and make her sad or scared. _Fucking insecurities._ Laughing to myself, I shake my head and grab the stack of papers I've been working on. I mean, look at me…I'm hot. I know that. I'm hot and I'm successful and I could have anyone I wanted. There, I said it. I said it because it's true. I don't want anyone else, though. Just Eliza. I freaked out a little last night but I'm okay. We're okay. She reassured me, and even though I still have that little doubt in my mind, I know that she is here to stay. I know that she loves me and doesn't see the age or the gap between us as anything to worry about. Sure, it may become an issue at times, but there is no reason for it to be an issue. Age is age. There really isn't much else to say about it other than that.

It's Saturday, and in order for things to run smoothly at the office next week, there are some things I have to work on today. It just makes the load a little lighter come Monday when I take a seat behind my desk. It means Eliza and I may get five minutes to enjoy lunch together instead of taking it separately like we have for the past ten days or so. It's no big deal since we spend the day together anyway, but still…it's nice to close off for an hour each day. It's nice to enjoy a coffee in a surrounding other than my office. It becomes a little too much sometimes. Thankfully, though, this week is going to be a hell of a lot lighter.

Last night we discussed the arrival of Eliza's friend, Jo, and I could see the excitement on her face. She's adorable when she gets excited and I'm actually looking forward to meeting her. From what I know, they have been best friends for a long long time, and Jo has been there for her on many occasions. Seems we both have the same opinion when it comes to Eliza's mother, too. I'm happy that she has someone like that in her life, and if Jo coming by to visit makes my girlfriend happy, then I'm happy. I don't mind sharing. I was raised to share so it shouldn't be a problem.

The alert system bleeping, I glance up and find dark hair on the screen over the opposite side of the room. Hitting the enter button on the controller, I turn my attention back to the paperwork in front of me and scan the invoices I've received. I may have plenty of cash, but nobody tries to take advantage of me. I'm more than generous with what I have, and those that need it most get it. Not the contractors and companies I use. The sound of heels hitting hardwood, I smile to myself. "Hey, beautiful." Eliza has been to the office to grab some stuff that we need and thankfully, it didn't take her long.

"It's been a while since you've called me that." A familiar voice breaks me from my work and my head shoots up. "I'll take it, though."

"Alexis, what are you doing here?"

"Well, since you've been avoiding my calls, I decided to fly back from Cuba and see you myself." Setting her purse down on the kitchen island, she approaches me and takes a seat beside me. "You busy, honey?"

"If we could stick to a first name basis, that would be awesome." I smile. "I've been busy, yes."

"And now you're not?" She raises an eyebrow. "Where is the assistant?"

"Eliza is at the office." I clear my throat. "I thought you were her coming home. It's why I let you in."

"Oh no." She shakes her head. "I'm _nothing_ like her."

"Amen to that." I scoff. "Look, I have a pretty full day today so if you wanted to make an appointment to see me, I'd really appreciate it."

Her elbow coming to rest against the back of my chair, she brushes my hair from my neck and gives me a smile. "How about you and I head downtown for some fine wine whilst we discuss Cuba."

"Stop." Pushing her hand away, she gives me a fake pout and I'm done with this. "I told you I'm busy." Standing, I pull myself away from the situation I believe Alexis is trying to create and move into the kitchen. Powering up the coffee machine, I give her a knowing look and she stands, her skirt riding up her thigh a little. _She really shouldn't be here…_ "Look, if you want coffee and you can behave yourself, you are welcome to stay and we can get some sort of discussion going, but _that_ stops now."

"Coffee would be nice, thanks." Giving me an apologetic smile, she comes to stand at the opposite side of the counter and I'm thankful we have something separating us right now. "Sorry, you know I'm only playing with you."

"Yeah, well I'd appreciate it if you didn't." I give her a hard glare and she drops her gaze. "Usual?" I ask as I motion towards the machine grinding beans.

"Mmhmm." She nods. "This place looks amazing, Ari. You've done amazing with it."

"And you expected anything less than amazing?" I scoff.

"From you?" She raises an eyebrow. "No, never. That's why I want your work in my place."

"Alexis, you can see how much I have on here…"

"I thought your assistant could take care of it?" She laughs. "You know you want to do this, Ari. I can see it in your eyes."

"Uh, no…you can't." I snort.

"Look, just give me a week. Come out to Cuba for a week and see what you think. The place is amazing, Arizona. Beautiful. Your kinda place."

"I know it's beautiful. I've seen it." I state as I run my fingers through my hair.

"So, what are you even stalling for? If I'd have called you a few months ago, you'd have been out there in a day. You wouldn't have even thought about it, you'd have just said yes. No questions asked."

"Things are different now." I sigh. "A lot different."

"She doesn't like me, does she? Your assistant."

"She's my girlfriend, Lex." I give her a knowing look and she holds up her hands in defense. "Stop calling her my assistant. I know what you're doing…"

"I'm not doing anything." She furrows her brow.

"You are. You're trying to make her lesser than what she is." Handing her a coffee, I maintain the distance between us and rest my elbows on the counter. "And me having too much work on has nothing to do with whether she likes you or not."

"But she doesn't?"

"Why would she?" I laugh. "You're my ex."

"So?"

"So, I don't blame her for being wary of you, Alexis."

"Well, she has nothing to worry about. I'm seeing someone and me and you were over a long time ago." She shrugs as she pulls herself up onto a kitchen stool.

"That's good. I'm happy for you…"

"And I'm happy for you." She smiles. "So, Cuba? Yes or no."

"A week?" I ask. "Just a week?"

"Sure." She nods as she sips on her coffee. "A week. Give my guys your plans and I'll have them carry out the work."

"Okay." I agree.

"I need you out there in two days, Ari." She gives me a questioning look and I furrow my brow. "I want the place finished in time to rent out for a little winter sun, okay?"

"Sure." I sigh. _It's all about the money with Alexis._ It always has been. "I'll make some arrangements and get the office sorted over the weekend. I'll be there Monday."

"Awesome." She gives me one of her signature 'I got my way' smiles and I roll my eyes. "I should head off. I have some stuff to do before I head back out tomorrow."

"Why did you come all of this way?" I ask.

"I told you…I wanted your work. If you'd have just answered my calls…I wouldn't have had to come back." Pulling her purse up onto her shoulder, she rounds the counter and pulls me into a hug. "You know we work well together, Ari. Stop resisting."

Releasing me from her grip, she steps away and heads for the door. Giving me a wave and a smile, she steps out onto the landing and closes the door.

 _Now I just have to figure this out with Eliza._ Do I want her with me? More than anything. I know that isn't possible, though. I know she is refusing to change her mind and come with me. Honestly, I hate the idea of leaving her, but there will be times when I have to, and now seems to be one of those times.

* * *

Eliza has been back at our place for the past thirty minutes or so and I haven't yet brought up the fact that Alexis was here earlier. I know I should tell her…simply because I don't want her to think I've been keeping it from her, but I don't know how to bring it up. I'm not usually this tongue-tied when it comes to business, but we both know that this isn't just usual business. Alexis is my ex and I know that Eliza is uncomfortable about her. I know that she doesn't like her. I don't blame her, though, she can be very intimidating when she wants to be, and I get the impression that Eliza has already witnessed this. I get the impression that she has already made her feel that way.

Sitting across from me at the dining table, I watch her intently as she chews the end of her pen and works through some figures. She is amazing at her job, and I don't want to disturb her…but I have to. I have to talk this out with her because I've just agreed to be in Cuba within two days and she is completely oblivious to that fact. "How was it at the office?" I ask, removing my glasses.

"Quiet." She states. Her eyes fixed firmly on the paper in front of her. "How have you been here?"

"Just getting on with stuff, really." I shrug.

"So, we _aren't_ going to discuss the fact that Alexis' business card is sitting on the table beside your MacBook?" Her eyes finding mine, my heart drops into my stomach and I don't like how this conversation has begun.

"Um, I wanted to bring it up, but I wasn't sure how…" I sigh.

"Just talk to me, Arizona." She gives me a small smile and sits back in her seat. "Did you call her?"

"N-No." I shake my head. "She was here a little while ago."

"She was here?" Eliza asks, incredulously. "I thought she was in Cuba?"

"She was but I've been avoiding her calls so she flew back."

"She flew back _just_ to speak to you?" Shaking her head, she runs her fingers through her hair and sighs. "Wow, that's some _friendship._ "

"Don't do that." I breathe out. "I didn't know she was coming here, Eliza. I thought it was you coming home."

"So, are you going to Cuba or not?" She asks, a little uninterested in the conversation.

"Not if you don't want me to," I state.

"No, don't put this on me, Arizona. If you are going, you are going. That's all there is to it."

"Except it's not all there is to it." Standing, I round the table and come to rest on my knees in front of her. "She wants me there by Monday."

"Oh." Her gaze dropping, I dip my head a little and find green eyes thinking hard. "Then you should start getting things ready, I guess."

"Please come with me?" A slight pleading in my voice, she shakes her head. "Eliza, please?"

"No, Arizona. I have stuff to do here. Your stuff."

"It can wait." I shrug. "I'll just have a little extra to contend with when we get back."

" _We_ aren't going, Arizona. _You_ are going." She smiles a half smile. "And anyway, Jo is arriving late Wednesday night and I've already booked her flight so I can't go to Cuba anyway."

"You've booked it?" I ask, my brow furrowed. "You didn't say."

"I only did it before when I was at the office. She called and said she'd gotten the time off work so I booked her flight before she changed her mind."

"So, you won't be alone whilst I'm away…that's good. Makes me feel a little better, anyway."

"Yeah." She smiles. "I won't be alone."

"Should we finish up here and then make some plans for this evening?"

"Whatever." She shrugs. "I think I'll need to nap soon, anyway." Turning in her seat, she returns her attention to the work in front of her and I know she is closing herself off a little. I can see those walls creeping up and me being slowly pushed away. I have to make things okay between us before I leave. I cannot force her to get on that flight with me, so we _have_ to be okay before I head out of that door tomorrow.

* * *

Today has been a strange kinda day, and right now I don't want to leave tomorrow. I've booked my flight and I have to leave for the airport around 11 pm tomorrow night. Yes, I've got a bad feeling about leaving Eliza, but I cannot stop my business opportunities because she is feeling insecure or worried about who I'm working with. She's been giving me the silent treatment for most of the day, and honestly, I don't even know what to say to her. I don't know how to approach the subject…once again, but she has told me to go. She's told me that she understands it's business. Her attitude tells me something different, though.

Pulling a tee over my body, I fix my damp hair up into a messy bun and head down the hallway. I figured taking a shower would give me the opportunity to think this over, but it hasn't made a great deal of difference, to be honest. I still don't know how she's feeling. I still don't know if she is really okay with me going. I still don't know if this is going to cause problems whilst I'm away. A week. It's not a night or two, but a week. Monday to Monday. Well, a little over a week if you include the fact that I have to be at the airport before Sunday night is even out.

My bare feet hitting the hardwood floor a little harder than usual, I head through into the kitchen and find Eliza lay down on the couch watching TV. She hasn't even bothered to acknowledge that I'm in the room, but that's okay…she's pouting and that is her decision. If she doesn't want to talk about it, I cannot make her. If she wants to lie and tell me that everything is fine…we will never work this out. I just don't want to leave the country on bad terms. I don't want to go knowing that she is worried or doesn't trust this. I know she trusts me, but she has made it perfectly clear that she doesn't trust Alexis. I know my ex well enough, though, that if she says it's business, it is exactly that. Nothing more. Coming to stand at the foot of the couch, I clear my throat and Eliza glances up at me. "I'm going to finish up some more work and then call it a night since you have no desire to talk to me…"

"Um, okay?" She furrows her brow.

"Night." Heading off down the hall, a bottle of water in my hand, I approach my office, step inside, and slam the door shut. I'm not mad at her. I just wish she would tell me how she is really feeling. Maybe she knows that I'm doing nothing wrong and just doesn't want to get into it, but still…I'm the kind of person who needs to know how she is feeling. Sitting at my desk, I place my head in my hands and try to stop a headache that is approaching. _I really don't need this right now._ My body already tired from a long week of work, I just wanted to relax with my girlfriend and lie in her arms all night. Once again, though, her inability to talk to me has gotten in the way of that. Once again, someone else has to be involved in our happiness, or lack of. I'm glad that Jo is coming by on Wednesday, I just hope she is here long enough for me to meet her when I return.

A light knocking on my door, the handle turns and Eliza steps inside my office. "Hey…" She breathes out.

"What's up?" I ask as I turn in my seat and her eyes find mine.

"I'm sorry." She sighs. Closing the distance between us, she sits down in my lap and places her head on my shoulder. "I just…I'm going to miss you."

"And giving me the silent treatment is the right way to go about that, is it?"

"No."

"I haven't done anything wrong, Eliza. I'm going to Cuba to do my job. You know, the one I employed you to help with?"

"I know." She agrees. "I just thought we had a little more time to prepare for it."

"Yeah, me too." I nod. "Can you look at me?" Her head lifting, she gives me a sad smile and I run my thumb across her bottom lip. "I'm going to work, Eliza. I'm not going to be sipping on cocktails and lying on beaches all day. Not like I did with you in Hawaii. I will be there working. I'll be lucky if I see any sun." She drops her gaze but I lift her head immediately. I need her to hear what I'm saying. I need her to know that this means nothing to me. "I want you to come with me. I know you have already decided against it, and that's okay, but do you really think if I was going there to spend time with Alexis, I'd ask you to come along too? Do you really think I'd do that to you?"

"It's not about that." She sighs. "I just don't like her."

"And that's okay. You don't have to like her." I shrug. "She is business and business only. I don't like most of the people I work with, so I know exactly how you feel. It doesn't mean I don't work with them, though. It doesn't mean I don't use them to my own advantage to make myself look amazing. That's all I'm doing here. All I'm doing is putting my mark on _another_ hotel. It's a work thing and only a work thing. Got it?"

"Got it." She agrees.

"Now, are you going to just be with me before I leave or am I going to spend the next 24 hours living with you but in separate rooms?"

"I love you." She whispers as she nuzzles into the crook of my neck. "And don't think I don't trust you because I do. Just hurry up and come home to me, okay?"

"Okay." I smile. "If I get things done quicker than usual, I'll be home before the week is up."

"Yeah, I won't hope for that, though. I'll only depress myself waiting for you to walk through that door earlier than planned."

"Who knows. Maybe I'll surprise you." I shrug. "And I love you…don't ever forget that, Eliza." Running my fingers through her hair, she moans in appreciation. "You are the only one for me. Forever. Okay?"

"Forever."

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome as always. I love how much you all love this fic. It's been one of my favorite to write.**


	36. Chapter 36

**I own nothing. All characters/storylines belong to Shonda. I'm simply 'borrowing' them.**

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Chapter Thirty-Six

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ELIZA'S POV

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I've been lay awake for over an hour, and right now I cannot switch my brain off. It's almost 8 am, and Arizona is sleeping soundly beside me. I could watch her sleep for the rest of my life and not tire. I could watch as her chest rises and falls and how her face is so relaxed. No stress. No worry. Just peacefulness etched all over her beautiful face. It's a breathtaking sight, but it's one I'm not going to witness for another week. It's one I'm going to miss. One I'm going to crave. I'm going to crave everything about her. Her protectiveness. Her smile. Her laugh. Her voice. How she holds me in front of the tv. How she brings me my morning coffee if she wakes before me. I'll miss all of those things, and I'll miss so much more, too. Slowly climbing from the bed, I shrug on my robe and move into the kitchen. We don't have any plans for today, but Arizona has to pack. She has to pack for the trip I'm not going on. She has to pack for the trip that will include her ex. _Stop it, Eliza._ I have to stop feeling this way. I wake up next to her every morning, not Alexis. I'm the one she showers with. I'm the one she thinks about as she closes her eyes at night. I just…I can't get past this bad feeling I have. It's not even bad, anymore…it's just become complete torment.

I cannot talk to her about it because she is going to get sick and tired of me if I carry this on. She has done nothing but reassure me, yet I still feel this way. I want to ask her not to go, but I cannot do that. She has a business to run, and I have to accept that. Had it been anyone else, I wouldn't be feeling this way. We both know that. It's Alexis, though, and she has something about her that I don't like and something about her that I don't trust. It's written all over her face. I don't know what her intentions are, but I cannot let her get too close to this. To us.

What do I want for today? I want to spend it happily with my girlfriend. I want to just be with her. No interruptions. No insecurity. No talk of that fucking woman who is getting on my very last nerve. Sure, she hasn't done anything wrong yet, but she knows that I don't like her and I suspect that she is going to play on that. I mean, she knows that she is better for me. She knows that she and Arizona look better together than we ever will. So, yeah…I know she is playing games right now. Fixing myself up some coffee, I move down the hall and into the bathroom. Taking a bath could help my mood right now, and I'm hoping it will calm me a little. I'm hoping it will shift this bad mood and bad feeling I have. If it doesn't, I honestly don't know how this day is going to plan out.

Setting my coffee cup down, I turn the taps and take a seat on the edge of the tub. Staring into the water as it runs, it's mesmerizing. It reminds me of the baths we've taken together. How we've just laid with each other and talked about nothing. How is soothes my aching muscles after a long day at the office. It always solves my problems and lifts my mood. Even if only a little.

Undressing, I step into the water and keep my coffee close by. I just need to relax for a little while. I just need to regroup and sort through my thoughts. I don't know how I'm going to get over the fact of missing Arizona, but I guess having Jo here will help. I'm sure she will take my mind off of things. She's a good friend like that. Lying back, I groan in appreciation as the water soaks into my skin. That burn that takes your breath away for second feels good this morning. I know I need to get a firm grip on myself, but later…right now I'm relaxing and trying to get that woman out of my head.

* * *

Okay, so the day got a little better after my miserable early morning thoughts, but the fact still remains the same….Arizona is leaving tonight and I won't see her for a week. Right now, I don't care who she is going with or who is going to be there. I just care that she won't be here with me. How am I ever going to get through tomorrow at the office without her gorgeous smile? How am I supposed to look forward to coming home for the night knowing that I'll be alone?

"Eliza?" Her voice pulling me from my thoughts, I furrow my brow and move towards the bedroom.

"Yeah?" I call out so she knows I'm on my way to her.

"Can you come here?" Stepping into the room, she gives me a smile and I give her a questioning look in return. "Can you stay here with me?"

"Why?" I ask.

"I don't really feel much like being away from you right now." She shrugs. "Please?"

"Sure." Climbing onto the bed, I sit to the side of her luggage and she continues folding what she needs and placing it perfectly down on top of what is already packed. "Do you have everything you need?" I ask, trying to make conversation.

"I think so, yeah." Stopping what she is doing, she gives me a sad smile. "What are you going to do while I'm gone?"

"Nothing." I shrug. "At least, not until Jo gets here."

"I hate leaving you." She drops her gaze. "Are you sure you can't talk me out of this?" I can see the hopeful look in her eyes but that quickly disappears when I shake my head in disagreement. "Please?"

"Too late, Arizona. Your flight is booked. You have to go."

"I don't _have_ to do anything, Eliza." She scoffs. "Tell me to stay and I'll stay."

"I can't do that, you know I can't. It's your job and there will be plenty of other times when you have to leave for business. I guess it's just one of the downfalls of being in a relationship with one of the hottest and most wanted women in the world."

"But you could still come with me?" She raises her eyebrow. "Tell me you'll think about it?"

"Jo, remember?" I laugh. "My best friend is due here in what…2 days, so I have to be here."

"Damn it." She throws down a shirt she has just folded and moves towards the window. Her shoulders shaking, I furrow my brow and rush of the bed and towards her.

"Hey, don't cry." Turning her in my arms, the tears are falling freely. I'm not sure I've ever seen her so upset, and right now she is breaking my heart. "Arizona, talk to me."

"I'm scared that this is a bad move." She whimpers. "I'm scared that the second I walk out of that door, any trust you have in me is going to disappear and you won't be here when I return next week."

"Y-You think that I'm going to leave you?" I ask, a little shocked.

"I-I don't know." She shrugs. "I'm scared, okay?"

"Of what?" My voice soft, I pull her towards the edge of the bed and sit her down. Coming to rest beside her, she wipes away the tears that are still falling and I furrow my brow. "Arizona?"

"Of everything." She cries. "I don't know how to fix this, Eliza. I know you are hurting and I know you don't like the idea of me going….so please, tell me what to do."

"Arizona, I'm fine. You have to go, we both know that." Giving her a sad smile, I'm trying to convince the both of us that everything will be okay, but I'm not sure I'm doing such a good job of that. "I'll be here waiting for you…"

"But I don't want to be away from you for so long." Her eyes find mine and she looks heartbroken. Devastated, even. "I can't be away from you for so long."

"I-I don't know what to do, Arizona. I don't know what you want me to say." I'm genuinely at a loss right now.

"Eliza…" Taking my hands in her own, she turns to face me fully and her eyes are begging me for something. Anything. "Please?"

"Please what?" I ask, my brow furrowed.

"Please just come with me?" She begs. "I'll do anything, just, please? I _need_ you there with me."

"You don't need me, Arizona." I sigh.

"I do." Standing from the bed, she pulls me up to my feet and takes my face in both hands. "You say that I have to go, and I say that I need you…so you just have to come with me."

"Who is going to take care of things at the office?" I ask and her face lights up a little at the prospect of me considering her offer. "Who is going to do all of the work that needs doing?"

"I don't care who does it." She states. "The office can close down for the week for all I care."

"No." I shake my head. "Find someone who can be you and I'll come."

"What? Right now…"

"Yes, right now." I give her a nod in agreement. "I'll give you a little space to figure it out and I'll call Jo."

"Shit, Jo." She slumps back down onto the bed. "You've made arrangements with Jo and now I'm about to ruin them because I'm so freaking needy."

"It's okay." I sigh. "I'm sure she will understand."

"N-No." She stops me at the doorway. "Tell her it simply a change of plan. Have her fly out as normal on Wednesday, but to Cuba instead."

"What?" I scoff. "Cuba? You think Jo can just up and leave and fly to Cuba? I've already booked her flight to New York."

"Just do it, Eliza." She sighs. "I'll cover it. Once you have okayed it with her, I will book her flight and somewhere for her to stay. The same complex as us."

"You still need to arrange me coming with you, Arizona, and you have to leave in a few hours."

"No." She smiles. " _We_ leave in a few hours. Get your luggage, baby."

* * *

I've been sitting with my cell in my hand for at least half an hour. I can hear Arizona down the hallway yelling at whoever she is speaking to, but I'm not making that call to Jo until I know the office is in good hands. I know she is sad and I know she is desperate to have me with her, but I won't allow her to just hand it over to some random person in her staff so I'll agree to go with her. Her business means too much to me to watch someone unsuccessfully run it for her whilst she is gone. Whilst _we_ are gone. I've been thinking about Cuba since I left our bedroom, and knowing that Jo will potentially be there with me has left me feeling a little more positive about being there with Arizona's ex. I still hate her, and I still cannot bear to be around her, but it will be a little more tolerable with Jo by my side.

I know the second I call her and tell her the plans she will either freak out or she will be happy, but I don't know if she will go for this. She wasn't just coming to New York for me. She was coming for the experience. The touristy stuff. I guess I won't know what the plan is until I speak to her, though. Every time I think about just telling Arizona no, her eyes flash in my mind. Those tears she has just shed tug at my heart. I've never seen her so upset. I've never seen her so unsure about anything in the time we have been together. All the times we've fought. All the times we've worried about our relationship. I just…I've never seen her that way before. How could I once again refuse to go when she was so down about the prospect of us being separated for a week? I feel bad for even ever telling her no, now. Why didn't I just agree the first time? She has probably been worrying since Cuba was first discussed and I shot down her idea, and now I've just said yes like that because she told me she needed me.

Nobody has ever told me they needed me before. Nobody has ever been so in love with me to feel the desperate need to have me around. Arizona does, though. Arizona wants me and she needs me and I cannot allow her to leave tonight when she is feeling that way. I'd never forgive myself. "Sorted." A little out of breath, she comes into full view before moving closer to me. "It's all sorted so now I just need to book Jo's flight."

"I haven't called her yet," I state. "Who have you chosen to run the office?"

"Lucie." She smiles.

"Lucie? Seriously?" Shaking my head, I cannot help the laugh that escapes my mouth. "Seems I just can't get away from your fucking exes, huh?"

"Um, she's your ex too, Eliza."

"Hardly." I scoff. "We went for one drink and we had one kiss."

"Well, that's all it really was between us, too." She states. "Now, are you calling Jo or not?" I can see the excitement in her eyes, but I don't quite feel as excited as she is. Maybe that will change once we get there, but I'm not so sure. I just feel like I'm setting myself up to be hurt doing this.

"Yeah." I nod. "I'll call her."

"Awesome, well I'll go and start your packing." She jumps from the couch and bounces on her feet.

"You haven't booked me onto your flight yet." I furrow my brow. "There may not even be a seat for me."

"Eliza, you were _always_ booked onto the flight with me." Her dimples popping, she disappears from sight and my mouth hangs open. _She knew she would get me to come along? She knew I'd give into her?_ Wow, I really need to work on saying no and sticking to it, huh?

Shaking my head and laughing, I hit Jo's number into my cell and wait for it to connect. "Yo!"

"Lize, it's so good to hear from you." She sighs.

"Um, I only spoke to you yesterday." I furrow my brow.

"I know but I'm having some major panic right now. I mean, what the hell do I bring to New York with me? Arizona will think I'm a mess when she sees me."

"Jo, you are coming to visit me…not my girlfriend." I laugh. "Do you have some sort of weird crush on her?"

"Um, yeah and I'm not even worried that you know." She shoots back. "I mean, who doesn't?"

"Well, that's true." I give a nod in agreement. **"** There's a slight change of plan, though. I'm so sorry."

"I'm not flying out, am I? She doesn't want me there, does she?"

"What? Of course, she does. She can't wait to meet you." I laugh. "It's just...I have to go away with her on business."

"Oh." She sounds deflated but I won't leave her hanging too long. "Maybe some other time, huh?"

"Oh, I don't think so. You are coming, too." I smile and the line is silent. "Arizona is booking your flight for you as we speak."

"Where am I flying to?" She asks.

"Only Cuba." I act as nonchalant as possible but she has just almost deafened me with the scream she's just released. "Ow, Jo. Jesus Christ."

"Wait, so you're telling me that I'm going to vacation in Cuba with Arizona freaking Robbins? No. No way. You are totally lying and it's not funny."

"Actually, that is what is happening." I clear my throat. "Should I just like book a separate room so I you can stay with my girlfriend, or?"

"Sorry, Lize. I'm just super excited to meet her. I can't wait to see you, you know that. I love you, Lize."

"Mmhmm…" I mumble. "Could have fooled me."

"So, what do I do now?" She asks, her voice shaking with anticipation.

"I'll find out the deets from Arizona once everything has been arranged. She's aiming for a flight similar to the one you had booked for New York. Are you available to fly any other time that day?"

"Sure. I'm not working after Tuesday afternoon, so whatever works for you guys." She clears her throat. "Um, Lize, how much is this trip going to cost me? I already didn't pay my rent this month."

"It won't cost you a thing." I smile. "And I'm transferring you some money over now to pay your rent, and to have a little cash on your whilst we are away."

"No." She whispers. "Don't do that."

"Already have." I glance over at the entrance to the hallway and find Arizona listening to my conversation. "I should go. I'll call you tomorrow when we land. Love ya!"

"Love ya, too." The call ending, Arizona stares intently and the smile on her face only widens.

"What?" I furrow my brow.

"You are a really good friend, Eliza." Pulling me up into her arms, I give her a slight shrug and her lips find mine. "You guys are lucky to have each other."

"We are." I agree. "Now, how exactly do you plan to thank me for changing my mind and giving into you?"

"Oh." Her teeth tugging at her bottom lip, her smile turns into a smirk and I'm pushed down onto the expensive leather couch beneath me. That unbelievably gorgeous body settling down on top of me, she places kisses up my neck before reaching my ear and lowering her tone. "Wouldn't you like to know…"

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Your reviews have been awesome once again. I look forward to reading more.**

 **And really? Did you think I'd let Arizona go to Cuba with that bitch? Nu-uh.**


	37. Chapter 37

**So, I'm going to be switching between POV for the next few chapters whilst our Ladies are in Cuba.**

 **I own nothing. All characters/storylines belong to Shonda. I'm simply 'borrowing' them.**

* * *

Chapter Thirty-Seven

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ARIZONA'S POV

* * *

Okay, I never thought she'd go for it. I never thought she would change her mind and come to Cuba with me, but she did, and we have just checked into the most amazing hotel. Well, not as amazing as my own, but it's still pretty great. I know the guy who owns it and once he realized I was coming to stay, he upgraded our room to the honeymoon suite. One day, I will have the honeymoon suite for exactly that, but right now I'm not complaining and neither is Eliza judging by the look on her face. Chilled and prepared cocktails waiting on the balcony for us, she's not messing around this time. She's already out there and testing both of them to see if there is any difference. Considering she didn't want to come, she didn't stop talking for the entire flight and right now she looks more than happy to be here. "Arizona, taste this. It's to _actually_ die for."

"Really?" I raise an eyebrow. "Let's not forget that every hotel we stay at that doesn't belong to me is competition."

"Wait, you have a hotel here in Cuba?" Her mouth falling open, I shake my head and laugh.

"Not yet, no." Throwing her a wink, I take the cocktail from her hand and sip on it. "Mm, it's good but it's not as good as Manuel's."

"Yeah, I've no idea who that is." She shrugs.

"Oh, he's my cocktail guy." I smile. "London."

"You have a place in London?" She raises an eyebrow.

"Two, actually." Taking her hand in my own, I guide us both out onto the balcony and the view is pretty amazing. Not Hawaii amazing, but it's still pretty damn good. "Did you want to spend the day up here, or down there?" Pointing down to the beach in front of us, Eliza narrows her eyes and glances back at me.

"Wherever you want to be." She smiles. "This is your _business_ trip, after all."

"Okay, what does that even mean?" I furrow my brow.

"Well, I was under the impression that you would be working your ass off here, yet you are already talking about relaxing for the day."

"I can totally get to work if you'd prefer that." Walking away from her, she grips my wrist and tugs me back.

"No, don't go." She gives me a sad smile. "I just don't want to get in your way here."

"You could never get in my way." Pressing my lips to her own, she moans as I force her back against the balcony and slip a leg between her thighs. "You are more than welcome here, baby."

"Well, look who finally arrived…" A familiar voice pulling us apart, I glance back inside our suite but find nobody there. A clearing of the throat to my right and I find Alexis on the balcony next to ours. "Glad you made it, Ari."

Giving her an awkward smile, I tighten my grip on Eliza's hand and throw Alexis a wave. "Got stuff to do. Catch you later." Stepping inside and closing the doors to the balcony, I turn back to face my girlfriend and she is still sipping on her cocktail. "Did you want me to get a room change?"

"Nope." She smiles. "No need."

"Are you sure? I don't mind."

"Everything is fine as it is, Ari." Snorting, she removes her straw from her lips and waves her hand. "Sorry. Couldn't help myself."

"Please don't call me that. I hate it."

"So, tell her that then." She shrugs as she moves into the small kitchen we have. "Refill?"

"You don't even know what's in them." I laugh. I love fun and relaxed Eliza but I'm not sure how long it will last. It's only a matter of time before Alexis pisses her off and brings her mood down. I know it.

"Probably Vodka, so I'll just add a little more." She smirks.

"Are you trying to get me drunk so you can take advantage of me before midday?" Stepping a little closer to me, she takes my drink from my hand and sets it down. Her lips grazing my ear, she breathes out against it before lowering her tone.

"Baby, I fucked you against your window just the other week. Then you came harder than ever in your office. I can take advantage of you _anytime_ I like." My body shuddering and responding as her words sink in, this woman turns me on like no other. "Don't ever forget that." A light knocking on our hotel room door, I pull away from my unbelievably hot girlfriend and open it. "Ugh." A low groan from Eliza makes me almost laugh out loud, but I manage to contain myself.

"Alexis, I'm a little busy right now." Stepping around me, I shake my head and close the door. "Can I help you?"

"Just wanted to welcome you here." She smiles as she pulls me into a hug and places a kiss on both of my cheeks. Pulling back, she keeps her hands on my shoulders and I furrow my brow. "Good to _finally_ have you on board."

"What am I…Chopped liver?" Glancing over my shoulder, I give Eliza a dimpled smile and she simply shrugs. "Am I not worthy of a welcome?" She asks.

"Of course." Alexis steps around me and holds out her hand. "Good to see you, uh…"

"Eliza." She rolls her eyes and turns her attention back to me. "So, if the welcomes and kisses are done, we have things to do." She gives Alexis a sarcastic smile and my ex raises an eyebrow. _Oh, this isn't going to go well._ "Problem?" My girlfriend asks.

"N-No." Alexis shakes her head and takes a step back.

"Good, so drop the whole motherly eyebrow-raising thing. Also, you may want to get that memory of yours checked out. Don't you know people are being diagnosed younger and younger these days?"

"I'm sorry?"

"Since you keep forgetting my name." She shrugs. "Either you have memory issues or you are just fucking rude." _Okay, I think that cocktail has gone to her head, but I'm not complaining._ It's good to see Alexis being taken down a notch.

"Anyway…" My ex smiles as she turns her attention back to me. "I was hoping I could get your attention today but I don't suppose _that_ is going to happen. We have a business dinner on Wednesday evening. Down at the beach. I've booked us a table."

"Business meeting?" I ask. "What do we need a business meeting for?"

"Because it's what we do, Arizona. We are business people, so we have business meetings."

"Sure." I nod and give her a knowing look. "What time?"

"7 pm. Sunset." _Okay, I don't like where this is going._ "If you get there before me, it's under my name. Table for two."

"Yeah, you'll want to extend that to three," I state as I step away from her and move back towards my girlfriend.

"Oh, I thought she was here as your girlfriend." Alexis furrows her brow.

"Oh, she is." I agree.

"Then there is no reason for Eliza to be at the meeting. It's my private business and I don't wish people who are not connected to me to know of my plans. I hope you'll understand, Eliza."

"Sure." Eliza smiles. "I'm busy anyway."

"Great." The other brunette smiles. "I'll see you in the morning, Ari. Enjoy your day." Watching her walk away and out of the room, the door closes and I turn my attention back to my girlfriend.

"I don't know what you _ever_ saw in her. She may be hotter than hell but she has one ugly attitude and a personality to match."

"Mmhmm." I give her a nod in agreement. "We can totally change rooms if we have to, Eliza. I want you to enjoy yourself while you are here, and I don't want her to make you feel uncomfortable at any point. You are my equal. You are my life. _You_ are what matters to me. Not anything or anybody else."

"Arizona, this room is amazing. There is no way we are changing rooms." Stepping a little closer to me, she hooks her fingers around the waistband of my jeans and pulls me in close. "If she wants to hear you screaming my name all night, that is fine by me."

"Oh." I bite down on my lower lip. "Is that a promise?"

"You better believe it, beautiful."

* * *

ELIZA'S POV

That woman. I swear that woman is asking to be hurt by me. If she keeps up this little game, it's going to happen. All of the name forgetting and 'what is your job role this time around' is getting boring. Fast. Honestly, I expected Arizona to have something to say about the way I spoke to her, but she didn't and I appreciate that. I mean, I could have held back. You know, bit my tongue or whatever, but I couldn't. I'm tired of her seeing me as someone who is in the way. Sure, to her I may be in the way, but to Arizona…I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be and funnily enough, Arizona is the only one who matters. Unless she tells me she doesn't want me around, I'll be wherever she is.

I wasn't lying when I said that I was busy Wednesday night because I am. Jo is arriving early Wednesday morning so I'll kick back with her that night. We have a lot of catching up to do, so I don't need to sit in on Alexis' shitty business meeting. We all know it isn't a business meeting and she just wants Arizona alone, but I'm here now, and she is my woman. She is going to be exactly that for a long long time to come. If Alexis really thinks that she is taking her back, she is so very sadly mistaken. It's laughable, really. I can see the desperation in her eyes. In her voice and how she speaks to my Arizona. I can just smell it a mile off.

I may look stupid, but I'm really not. She may think that she has the upper hand because she is of the same lifestyle as my girlfriend, but if that's how she really thinks, she doesn't know Arizona at all. She doesn't know anything about her.

As if the world was just laughing at me, I hear Alexis calling out Arizona's name. Standing from my lounger, I place my magazine down and peak my head over the balcony. "Can I help you, Alexis?"

"Well, unless you've suddenly changed your name to Arizona, I don't think you can." She gives me an incredulous look and shakes her head.

"Where exactly do you get off speaking to me like that? Huh?"

"Why are you here, Eliza?" She asks. "Do you not trust your boss?"

"I trust my girlfriend with my life. So, when she asked me to join her on this trip, I trusted that she wanted me here. Why is it any concern of yours if I'm here or not?"

"Oh, none at all."

"Really? Because you've got a funny way of showing it. Do I threaten you, Alexis?" _I've had a few cocktails now and maybe I'm feeling a little braver than usual, but I really am tired of this woman._ "Do I threaten your chances of you getting Arizona back?"

"No, honey." She smiles. "Arizona will come straight to me if and _when_ she wants me back."

"Sure she will." I laugh. "I wouldn't hold your breath."

"You know nothing about this life, Eliza. I suggest you stick to what you _do_ know."

"And what exactly is that?" I raise an eyebrow.

"Nothing." She smiles. "Nothing whatsoever."

"Right…" I nod. "Did you want Arizona, or?"

"Have her come by when she isn't busy."

"Sure. She's just showering." I shrug. "Things got a little wet and wild here a little while ago. I'll have her text you or email you, whatever."

"Have her come by." She states. Anger evident in her voice.

"Like I said, I'll have her text you." Disappearing from view, I settle back down on my lounger and the sound of Alexis slamming her balcony door shut makes me giggle. I know how to get to people when I really need to. I may seem quiet and nonconfrontational, but when I want to be…that couldn't be further from the truth. I can play with the best of them, and if that's what Alexis wants, I'm happy to be a player in her game. It's no skin off my nose.

"Hey, what was that?" Arizona asks as she comes into view, nothing but a towel covering her body.

"Why don't you come sit here with me and I'll tell you?" I smirk. Tugging the edge of her towel, she moves a little closer and settles down between my legs.

"So, what was that bang?" She asks. "Are you okay?"

"Me?" I ask. "Oh, I'm fine, beautiful. Alexis?... not so much."

"Eliza, what did you do!" Her eyes widen and I can't help but laugh. "It's not funny. What did you do? Or say?"

"Does it matter what I said, or did?"

"Well, yeah." She scoffs. "I have to have dinner with her tomorrow and I need to prepare myself."

"Oh, she was asking for it, Arizona." Picking up my magazine, I turn the page. "I'm done with this conversation if you are going to assume _I_ did something."

"Hey…" She takes my magazine from my hand. "I didn't say that."

"You didn't need to." Giving her a sarcastic smile, she furrows her brow and I take the magazine from her hands. "If she thinks for one minute that she is going to intimidate me, she's wrong, Arizona. I'm done with her and her feelings. I'm not tiptoeing around that bitch any longer."

"Why? What happened?"

"She was calling your name." I smile. "You know because she thinks she can just do that. Which, by the way, she totally can't so I'd appreciate it if you ran that by her at her shitty meeting tomorrow."

"Okay." She nods.

"Then she felt the need to speak to me like crap and talk to me like I was fucking stupid."

"Okay, I'm done with this." Throwing up her hands, she removes herself from my lounger and moves towards the door.

"Leave it, Arizona. You going there is exactly what she wants. She's already told me to ask you to come by."

"What for?" She asks.

"I don't know. I didn't ask." I shrug as I flick through the pages. "I told her you would call her, or text. You're not going by, though. I'm sorry, but you're not. She's one grade A bitch."

"You don't have to tell me that, Eliza. I already know." Giving me a sad smile, she takes a seat on the edge of her own lounger and sighs. "What do you want me to do?"

"I don't _want_ you to do anything." I sigh. "A reaction is exactly what she wants. She wants me to mess up along the way so you can fall back into her arms. I'm not stupid."

"I doubt she wants that." Arizona laughs. "She is seeing someone else."

"Well, maybe that someone else ought to know that she is calling you to her room and taking you out to business dinners. I mean, on the fucking beach? Seriously? I'm sorry but you may not be able to see it, but I do. I can see right through her."

"Wow…" She breathes out. "I don't even know what to say to that." Standing, she takes my hand in her own and pulls me up from my lounger. "Whilst you look amazing and beautiful tanning there, can we go inside for five?"

"Sure." I furrow my brow. My heart sinking into my stomach, I get the impression that I've just totally overstepped the mark. Heading inside, I close the door behind me and grip her wrist before she has the chance to walk away. "Is everything okay? I'm sorry if I said something out of line just then…"

"No." She smiles. "Don't apologize for how you feel."

"Then why did you bring me inside?" I ask, a little worried for the response I will receive.

"I just don't want anyone else hearing our conversation." She shrugs. "Eliza, Alexis is forever trying to get inside people's heads. It's what she does. You have to block her out. Whatever she says, you have to block her out. She isn't worth the headspace. She isn't worth the time or the energy."

"She insulted my intelligence, Arizona, so forgive me if I find it hard to 'block her out'. She also referred to you as my boss and questioned my trust for you. Do you not see what she is doing? Are you really that kind to people that you cannot see how she is acting with me… _and_ you?"

"I guess I just like to give people the benefit of the doubt." She sighs. "Maybe I should be a little more wary of people, I don't know."

"No." I shake my head. "Don't ever change, Arizona. You are perfect how you are. All I'm saying is…be careful around her. Know what she is doing and what she is about. It's only Alexis. I mean, if I found you dancing with someone else or having a drink with someone else, I wouldn't be worried. I wouldn't be offended. But her? No way. She knows what she is doing, and so do I. It's only a matter of time before she tries to get between us. It's only a matter of time before she causes a rift and I cannot have that. I cannot be around when that happens."

"She could never come between us, Eliza. Not unless we let her."

"And I'm trying really hard to _not_ let her come between us. It's not easy, though, when she speaks to me like I'm a child. It's not easy when she is fucking everywhere. Like, shouldn't she be at the hotel she is renovating or something? Shouldn't she be working like she claimed she would be?"

"I'll be careful, okay?" Running her thumb across my cheek, I lean into her touch and give her a slight nod. "She won't come between us, though. I promise you."

"How do you know, Arizona?"

"Because my love for you trumps _everything,_ Eliza. Absolutely everything."

Pulling back a little, her hand drops from my face and I give her a sad smile. "You should go and see what she wanted."

"Like hell, I should." She scoffs. "How about we get back in that bedroom and rattle that headboard like nobody's business. You know, show her where the love is at?" Her gorgeous blue eyes narrowing, she tugs at the string holding my bikini top together and it falls around my midsection. "Come on, pretty lady. I've told you how much I love you…now I just have to show you."

Pulling me into the bedroom, I kick the door shut and throw my girlfriend down on the bed. A squeal leaving her throat, her towel falls open and her slightly tanned naked body comes into view. "Mm, time to rattle that headboard for the _world_ to hear." Climbing on top of my gorgeous blonde, she pulls me down into a heated kiss and my head is spinning faster than ever before. I'll stand my ground where Alexis is concerned…I have to.

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. That's me done for the day… or night, depending on where you are in the world. It's been a fun day writing for you all. Your reviews are once again fantastic and I'll be back with you all tomorrow. Night! Xx**


	38. Chapter 38

**I own nothing. All character/storylines belong to Shonda. I'm simply 'borrowing' them.**

* * *

Chapter Thirty-Eight

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ELIZA'S POV

* * *

My body is so tired right now. Like, I actually can't move. If I do, I may lose a limb. I swear an arm or a leg will still be in the bed when I stand to stretch my body out. I may have even broken a hip…I can't be so sure right now. Last night was nothing short of magical, and honestly, I'd do it all again in a heartbeat. Arizona just didn't stop. Something inside of her ignited last night and wow…It was amazing. Truly amazing. I don't know if we went to town with each other because Alexis is in the next room to us, but whatever it was, it's taking my breath away thinking about it. Like, I'm wet thinking about it. I could really use a bottle of water but I simply don't have the energy to move. I have nothing left inside of me and I don't even care. If I have to live the next week on the balcony, I can totally do that because Arizona rocked and ended my world last night.

Glancing to my right, I find my beautiful blonde sprawled out on her stomach, her ass on view for the world and his wife to see. It's a little humid in here today and I'm pretty sure we both smell of sex but I'm not concerned. I don't have anywhere to be right now so now…I'm not concerned. Groaning as I try to move my body in the bed, Arizona flinches and I smile as I lean over and place a kiss on her shoulder. "Good morning, Miss Robbins."

"Mm…" She mumbles against her pillow. "I think I'm dead."

"God, I hope not." I sigh as I lie on my back and smile. "I was hoping for another round of that tonight."

"N-No." She shakes her head. "No way. I cannot move, Eliza."

"Baby, I'm sure you will be fine once you are up and about." I laugh. "You have to go to work today, too. Sucks to be you, huh?"

"Kiss my ass." She groans.

"Mm, gladly." Climbing from the bed a little slower than usual, I sink my teeth into her ass and she gasps in shock. "That tastes pretty good."

"Eliza…" She breathes out. "I don't wanna go to work today."

"Suck it up, buttercup." I stand and move around to her side of the bed. "Can I get my beautiful lady some coffee?" Leaning down, I place a kiss on her forehead and she smiles before nodding in agreement.

"I'll be out in a few." She whines.

"I'm sure you will." Rounding the edge of the bed, I slip some shorts on and a tank top before moving out into the kitchen. Powering up the coffee machine, I put some on to brew and open the balcony doors. We could sure use a little air in here right now. Hitting the air con in the bedroom, Arizona moans in appreciation and turns her head to meet my gaze before giving me a thankful smile. "You okay?" I ask.

"Yeah, I will be." She nods, her eyes a little tired looking.

"Okay, I'm going to sit outside until our coffee is ready. I love you."

"I love you, too." She gives me a dimpled smile and I leave her to attempt to get out of the bed herself. I'm fully expecting a call back in any minute now, but God loves a trier, right?

Slipping out onto the balcony, I'm startled when I hear a pounding on the door and it only infuriates me. I swear to god if this is Alexis, I'm going to hit the fucking roof. She just cannot leave us alone. Heavy footed, I make my way through our suite and unbolt the door. I don't even bother to check through the peephole. Pulling the door open, my angry face immediately turns to one of complete joy. "Hey, motherfucker."

"Oh my actual god." I gasp. "I thought you would be a few more hours…"

"You own a cell, right?" Jo scoffs. "Maybe you could try using it more often."

"What?" I furrow my brow.

"I've been calling you, since like…forever."

"Sure you have." I roll my eyes, playfully. "Get inside before you cause a scene." Pulling her in, she drags her luggage behind her and I close the door. "I'm so happy you're here." My arms wrapping around her waist, she reciprocates and tightens her grip.

"Lize, I've missed you so much." She sighs. "Detroit is awful without you."

"If you wanna get out of there…just say the word and I'll make it happen." I pull back and smile. "Just leave your luggage there and head on out to the balcony."

"Where is Arizona hot ass?" She asks, her voice barely above a whisper.

"Oh my god…shut up!" I laugh.

"Arizona hot ass is right here, Jo." My heart sinking into my stomach, I turn around to find my girlfriend standing in nothing but a robe. "Good to finally meet you." She gives my best friend a dimpled smile.

"Uh….."

Giving my best friend a smile, her mouth hangs open and I have to close it for her. I don't want or need my girlfriend to think that my BFF is a crazed fan, and right now…she is doing exactly that. "Jo?" I wave my hand in front of her face. "Are you with us?"

"Uh….."

"Okay, 'uh' isn't going to cut it right now." I laugh. "Just get your ass out on the balcony." Guiding her through the room, Arizona stops me as I'm approaching the balcony.

"Is she okay?" She throws her thumb over her shoulder, her tone low.

"Just a little starstruck, I think."

"Um, why?" She furrows her brow.

"She's got some weird love going on for you." I shrug. "Not quite as much as I have going for you, though, so don't worry."

"O…kay." She draws out. "I, uh…I'll let you guys get caught up."

"No, come and join us. I want you to." I give her my very best puppy dog eyes and she gives me a nod in agreement. "Thanks."

"I'll get us all some coffee and then I'll be out."

"Let me get it." I offer.

"No, you go and see your friend." My girlfriend laughs. "Besides, I think she may have some sort of nervous breakdown if I go out there instead of you."

"Y-Yeah, you're right." I nod. "Thanks, beautiful."

"Don't mention it." Waving me away, I step out onto the balcony and Jo is already sitting down. A little shaky, I'll bet.

"You good now or are you just going to drool for the entire trip?"

"N-No, I'm good." She smiles. "I should go and apologize, right?"

"No, it's okay." I wave off her suggestion. "She will be out in a few."

"Oh god, she's not coming out here, is she?" Complete horror on Jo's face, I furrow my brow and she shakes her head. "Sorry….I just, you've no idea how much I love her. Now I love her even more for making you happy."

"Yeah, she's coming out. She's bringing us coffee." I smile. "Jo, I need you to not be weird. You cannot scare her away, okay?"

"Weird? Who's being weird?" She scoffs. "I'm cool. I'm awesome. Good to go." She nods. "Bring her out."

"Okay, seriously?" I ask, my eyebrow raised.

"No, okay." She nods. "I swear I'm good."

"Promise?" I can see Arizona approaching with some coffee cups and I really don't need Jo to freak out and burn my girlfriend.

"I promise." She sighs as she clasps her hands together.

"Coffee, Ladies?" Arizona steps out onto the balcony and throws me a wink. "Jo?"

"T-Thanks." Unable to even lift her gaze right now, I take the coffee from my girlfriend and set it down on the table beside Jo.

"You got this?" Arizona asks. "I need to make a few calls back to the office and check up on things."

"Sure." I smile. "Go do your thing, beautiful."

* * *

Settled down on a lounger with my best friend next to me, Arizona figured it would be best to keep her here for the day before showing her to her own room tonight. I've seen her room and I swear Jo is going to drop dead when she sees it. We are the same people. Cut from the same cloth. We don't do this lifestyle. I know this will be like winning millions for her, and when she sees it, I have to be there with her. I have to be the one to hold her in an upright position whilst she takes in the view. The room. The life she is about to live for the next few days. We are unsure how long we will be here for right now, but Arizona has already her expressed her desire for Jo to still join us in New York if it's possible for her to do so. Honestly, I'd ask her to leave her job back in Detroit and move her out here given half the chance but it's her decision. I know she hates her job, but I still don't have the right to interfere. Just because I was brave enough to move away doesn't mean that everybody else is. Jo has family back home.

Our Bluetooth speaking playing out around us, Jo glances my way and gives me a smile. "How the hell did you end up with this lifestyle, Lize?"

"Honestly, I don't know." I smile. "You're good here, though. We will look after you, okay?"

"We?" She raises an eyebrow.

"Yeah." I nod. "We."

"Thanks for paying my rent, Lize. I'll get it back to you ASAP."

"No problem and don't even bother paying me back. You've looked out for me plenty of times, so let's just call it quits on that, huh?"

"No, I can't do that." She shakes her head.

"Um, yeah you can." I furrow my brow. "Sisters, right?"

"Sister's." She smiles.

"Can I get you another drink? Pick your poison."

"Oo, surprise me." She smiles.

"Mm, Arizona I'll be there in a moment." The sound of Alexis' voice breaking us from our conversation, I place my finger over my lip and Jo sits as still and as quiet as possible. "No, stop being so desperate. Give me a moment, beautiful. I'm just running late."

 _I swear I'm going to kill this fucking woman before I leave Cuba._ Climbing up onto my lounger, I find Alexis staring back at me with a dirty grin on her face. "You're not for real…surely?" I laugh, my eyebrow raised.

"Arizona, I have to go." She smiles. "I'll see you soon, gorgeous."

"You are pathetic, you know that, right?"

"Mm, I may be pathetic, but I'm the one who is spending the day with your _supposed_ girlfriend…maybe even the night if dinner goes to plan." Throwing me a wink, I almost throw up in my mouth.

"Hey, you fucking bitch!" Jo pops up next to me. "Go fuck someone else since it's what you are good at." Flipping her the finger, she pulls me down onto my lounger and the anger in her voice is evident. "Sorry, Lize. I couldn't help it. She's over there fucking laughing at you."

"Oh, I know." I laugh. "I'm well aware of that."

"So, what are you going to do?" She asks, her eyebrow raised. "She won't fuck with my friend, that's for sure."

"It's okay." I place a hand over Jo's and give her a reassuring smile. "We are stronger than that."

"I hope so because that bitch is prepared to fuck it up for you."

"Uh, how do you know?" I furrow my brow.

"She did an interview a few days ago. Said she had recently met up with an old flame and things had gone on from there…"

"Oh, she did, huh?"

"Look, I wasn't going to tell you because I didn't think it would matter, but clearly…it does." Jo shrugs. "I just figured you should know.".

"I fucking knew it, Jo. I knew she was trying to get between us." Throwing my hands up, I shake my head and stand from my lounger. "I told her. I told Arizona I knew her game but she just couldn't see it. Why doesn't anyone but you and I see it?"

"Hey, don't take this out on your girlfriend." Her tone lowered, she pulls me inside and shuts the door. "This isn't Arizona's fault, Lize. Does she look like she wants to be anywhere near Santiago? Really?"

"No." I sigh. "I still don't like it, though."

"Of course, you don't." She scoffs. "Why would you?" Jo asks.

"I just hate how she is behaving. I've never done anything to her, Jo. She just fucking hates me. I don't know why."

"Because she is just that kinda person, Lize. Don't let her get to you…."

"You know, you sound a lot like Arizona right now." I roll my eyes and Jo gives me a hard stare.

"That's because we are both awesome and we know what we are talking about…" She shrugs. "And your girlfriend is going to be my new BFF soon. Don't worry, though, I'll still love ya."

"Oh, you're too kind." I laugh. "Come on, I need a strong drink." Pulling my friend into the kitchen, I prepare us a couple of cocktails and think about everything that has just happened. I guess it's good that Jo is so caught up in Arizona's world. I wouldn't know what magazines to read where architecture is concerned so she is a good friend for keeping up to date for me. I know she will only tell me the important bits and pieces that she learns, but still…she knows when she needs to speak up and when she doesn't. Thankfully, she saw what has just happened to be one of those times.

* * *

ARIZONA'S POV

I've spent most of the day working on plans for Alexis' hotel and honestly, it's going to look amazing. I know people want my work in their properties, and I love my job, but something is telling me that this particular job wasn't worth it. Something is telling me that I should have stuck to my guns and refused to work with my ex. She's done nothing but piss my girlfriend off and I'm tired of it now. I'm tired of the smart ass comments that constantly come from her mouth. I'm tired of her thinking that it's acceptable to speak to Eliza how she wishes. She isn't some kid. She's not _just_ my assistant. The sooner Alexis realizes that, the better. She is just pushing and pushing and it really has to stop. The fake phone calls my girlfriend can overhear are just childish. She hasn't even called me today, and my records show that.

I returned back to our suite a little over an hour ago, and now I have to get ready to go to dinner with a woman I'm finding it harder and harder to be around. Her attitude is disgusting, and tonight will be the night I end her little games once and for all. When I got home, Jo was trying to calm my girlfriend down, as well as herself. For some reason, Eliza's best friend finds it hard to be around me, and I've no idea why. My girlfriend says she is a massive fan but I'm just me. I'm just an architect. I'm not some celebrity. Well, I kinda am in our world, but not really. I just…I'm good at my job is all. There really isn't anything else to it.

Stepping out onto the balcony, I figured I'd give myself a few minutes to get to know Jo whilst my girlfriend is taking a nap. Between the heat and the exchange of words she had earlier, she's a little fried right now. "Hey, Jo." Taking a seat beside her, her face reddens and she attempts to stand but I stop her. "Okay, this is ridiculous." I laugh.

"I'll go." She gives me a smile. "I'm sure you guys want some privacy and I'm sitting here like some sort of queen. I just wanted to make sure Eliza was okay. Is she okay? Like, I don't know why she wouldn't be, but she was so mad before and I've never seen her like that. She wasn't mad at you, though. Oh my god, now you think that she's mad at you and I've messed this up and I'm so sorry and I'll leave."

"Have you finished?" I smile. "Your little rant?"

"Y-Yeah." She sighs. "Sorry."

"You don't have to leave. I have to head out soon, anyway, and you guys are going for drinks tonight, right?"

"Yeah, if that's okay with you."

"Why wouldn't it be?" I furrow my brow. "Eliza can do as she pleases. I may join you guys after dinner if that's okay with you, though?"

"Oh my god, yeah." She nods. "That's totally fine."

"Awesome." I can see Jo's nerves are getting the better of her, but I want her to relax around me. She has no reason to be worried and she has no reason to ramble on like she just has. It was kinda funny, though. "Eliza says you are into my work?" I ask as I sit back in my seat.

"Yes!" Her eyes widen. "Some of the buildings you've designed are amazing." She smiles. "Well, not some…all. Your attention to detail is something else."

"So, you're into architecture, huh?"

"Yeah." She shrugs. "It was what I'd planned on doing as a career but financial reasons stopped it from happening. My mom just couldn't afford it."

"I'm sorry to hear that." Giving her a sad smile, she nods in agreement and settles back in her seat a little. "Did you not ever think about pursuing it now? I mean, you're a little older and you are working…"

"No. I gave up that dream a long time ago."

"Why?" I ask, her lack of determination making me a little sad. "Anything is possible, Jo."

"Yeah, for some people but I just work at the local store now and scrape by. Eliza hit the big time, not me. I'm so happy for her, Arizona. For both of you."

"Thank you." I smile. "You know, she's really happy that you're here."

"I still can't believe I'm here." She scoffs. "Not only am I in Cuba, but I'm here with _you._ "

"You're coming back to New York with us, right?"

"Undecided right now." She shrugs.

"You don't have to worry about the cost of it all, Jo. You can either stay with us, or I can get you a room at one of my hotels. Whichever you'd prefer."

"That's super kind of you, but I think I'll take a few days to think about it."

"No problem." Standing, I give her a smile and she blushes a little. _Oh for God sake._ "I should get ready."

"Sure. Enjoy your evening."

"Thanks for being there for her today, Jo. She needs someone like you around her."

"Yeah, I'll always be here for her. Don't worry about that." She smiles. "I'll hang out here if that's okay? I can leave if you guys want a little while alone?"

"No, no." I wave off her comment. "Stay. Relax. Do whatever you like."

Stepping back inside our suite, I head for the bedroom and quietly open the door. Eliza looks adorable sleeping so peacefully, but I have to wake her. I want to see her before I leave for dinner and I want to just have at least ten minutes with her in my arms. Closing the door behind me, I slip into the bed and pull her body up into my arms. Mumbling against my chest, I run my fingers through her hair and she moans in appreciation. "That feels nice." Her voice filled with sleep, I graze her scalp with my fingernails and she shudders in my arms. "I missed you today."

"I missed you, too."

Her eyes finding mine, she gives me a small smile and studies my face. "How was it?"

"The hotel?" I ask. "Fine. Shouldn't have any problems implementing my plans and it looks pretty straightforward right now."

"That's good." She smiles. "She wants you back, you know?"

"Eliza…" I breathe out. "We aren't doing this. Not right now, anyway."

"No, I'm not trying to cause a fight between us, Arizona. I'm just telling you." She shrugs. "I figured you should know."

"Did she say that to you?" I question her as my heart slowly sinks into my stomach. I don't feel the same way, so it doesn't really matter, but if I ever came face to face with one of Eliza's exes and she said she wanted her back, I can imagine how hurt I'd feel. I could imagine that anxious feeling settling within me.

"Pretty much." She nods. "She said she planned on spending the night with you, but that isn't what I'm worried about. It's the interview she did for a magazine a few days before we flew out here. Said she had met with an old flame."

"O-Oh." I drop my gaze. "I'm sorry she's acting this way, Eliza."

"It's okay." She sighs. "I'm the one lying in your arms right now while she is lonely and miserable next door."

"You are." I give her a dimpled smile and she leans up to place a soft kiss on my lips. "You definitely are."

"So, what time are you expecting dinner to be over?" She asks.

"Depends."

"On what?" Her brow furrowed, I simply shrug.

"On how long it takes me to throw my food at her." Both of us laughing, she lifts her body from the position she is in and climbs on top of me. Her hips grinding down, I close my eyes and bite my lip. Pulling her tank top up and over her body, she throws it to the other side of the room and leans in a little closer.

"Do you have a little time for me or do you have to rush off?" Her eyes darkening, I can't help the smirk that appears on my face.

"Baby, I'll always have time for you." Pulling her down into a kiss, I shift my body a little and it only creates an even better sensation between my thighs. Who'd have ever thought I'd have this gorgeous woman making me feel good whilst lying in a super king bed in Cuba? Not me, that's for sure.

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Your reviews have been amazing. I look forward to reading more.**


	39. Chapter 39

**I own nothing. All characters/storylines belong to Shonda. I'm simply 'borrowing' them.**

* * *

Chapter Thirty-Nine

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ARIZONA'S POV

* * *

 _Shit!_ I'm late. Like, super super late. Almost an hour late. Do I care? No, not really…but I'm fully expecting all kinds of comments from Alexis. I've just reached the beach restaurant and I'm now being directed to my table. The table that my ex is sitting at and giving me the evil eye. I honestly don't care if she's pissed. I'm late, big deal. I am a little mad at myself, though, since I pride myself on my immaculate timekeeping record. Problem is...when you have Eliza Minnick in your bed…all sense of time and what life is just disappears. It disappears…never to be seen again. I don't think Eliza was purposely keeping me beneath her body, but I know I was stalling. I didn't want to leave our bed. I didn't want to leave my girlfriend. I know she has Jo there with her, and that makes me happy, but I want to be there with her, too.

Stepping up to the table, my seat is guided back and I come to rest on it. Thanking the waiter for his direction, I take the wine menu in my hand and peruse it. I can feel Alexis' eyes on me, but I'm not interested. Scanning the list of wines on offer, I find the one that catches my eye and set the menu back down in front of me. "I've already ordered wine for us." Alexis states.

"Oh, that's kind but I think I'll order my own. We have different tastes." Shrugging a little, I place my wine order and rest my elbows on the table, my hands clasped together under my chin. "Sorry, I'm late."

"Mm, if you are going to show up here dressed like that…I can wait for you all night." Glancing over the rim of her wine glass, I roll my eyes and she gives me a slight shrug of the shoulders. "Just telling you the truth."

"I'm dressed like this because I'm meeting Eliza after dinner. You know, since you so rudely dismissed her from this meeting…" Giving the waiter a thankful smile, I toy with the stem of my wine glass.

"Eliza doesn't need to be here. Just you and I are perfect."

"Okay, cut the crap, Alexis." My voice a little louder than I'd like, I glance around the restaurant and give a few other diners a small smile. "I don't want to do this here, in public, but I'm tired of your bullshit."

"Excuse me?" Placing her hand over her chest, she feigns shock but I'm not stupid. "What bullshit?"

"All of this." I laugh. "Dinner on the beach at sunset? The interview you gave to home and living? The disgusting attitude you have with my girlfriend? What the hell is your problem?"

"I didn't know I had a problem." She furrows her brow. "You agreed to come here. At first, I thought you were rejecting me because you couldn't shake Eliza off. Then when I came to your place, and you welcomed me how you did…I knew I'd made the right decision in flying home to speak to you. You called me beautiful, Arizona. Nobody has called me that other than you. I miss that. I miss what we were."

"You are joking, right?" I laugh. "I told you I thought it was Eliza coming home. If I'd known it was you, I'd have bolted the fucking door."

"No, I'm being totally honest with you now." She gives me a sad smile and places her hand over my own that is resting on the table. Glancing down, it takes me a minute to register what she is even doing before pulling my hand away. "Look, when we met, everything happened so fast. You were flying higher than ever with your business and mine was just getting started. We did it wrong last time. We were too busy wanting the attention of the media. We were too busy trying to get noticed."

"Uh, correction… _you_ was the one who needed the attention. _You_ were the one who needed to be noticed. Me? I couldn't have cared less about the paparazzi and the media. I just wanted you. You and the love you claimed you had for me. I didn't care who pictured us together or which magazine it would be featured in first. I didn't care what clothes I wore whilst I grabbed a coffee downtown. I just wanted you, Alexis."

"And now you can have me." She smiles as she tries to take a hold of my hand again. "I'm done with all of that, Ari. I'm done with the newest trend and who sees me in it. I just…I'm sorry. I think we had to break up to realize what we were missing."

"For you, maybe. Me? I was done the second I left you. I was done that following morning when I woke to find out you had been fucking your make up artist. So, no." I laugh. "This isn't our time. We won't _ever_ have a time again. This is business, Alexis. Plain and simple."

"Wow, that skank really got to you, huh?"

"I'm sorry, what?" My hands clenched into fists, my eyes widen and she gives me a smirk. "Did you jus-"

"Oh, come on, Arizona." She throws her hands up. "How much longer are you going to keep this up? You are _way_ too good for her. She will never be one of us. She will never live the life we lead."

"I think we are done here." Clearing my throat, I push my chair back and grab my purse. "You know, we've worked together over the years since we split. I just thought that this is what this was again. I've never once led you on. I've never once given you any reason to even begin to think that I wanted something with you. I'm sorry we didn't work out, but that was over a long time ago. You moved on, and now I have, too. Maybe you don't like seeing me with her, but that's your own problem. I'm happy for the first time in my life, and that's because _you_ are not in it."

"No, I don't like seeing you with her." She admits. "Why would I? She looks like a hooker you picked up on the sidewalk."

Throwing my glass of expensive red in her face, my chair screeches and tips over as I stand. "Fuck you, and fuck your plans for the hotel. I'm done." Weaving through the mass of tables around me, I head for the exit and step out into the humid Cuban evening air. Tears falling freely I grab my cell from my purse and hit the message tab.

 ** _Sorry to ruin your evening, but could I come and join you guys? Xx_**

 ** _Of course. At the beach. Awesome party going on right now. Eliza x_**

 ** _Oh, I'll just head back to our suite. Be careful, okay? Xx_**

 ** _No, come and join us. Please? I miss you…_**

 ** _I don't want to get in the way of your fun. Arizona x_**

 ** _You won't be. I'll keep a lookout for you. We aren't far from where you already are. Just follow the lights. Eliza x_**

 ** _I love you…_**

Locking my cell, I throw it back into my purse and head down to the water's edge. I need to feel the sand beneath my feet right now. I need to feel the cool waters hitting my skin. I can see a fire flickering not too far down the beach so I head towards it. The music telling me that I'm heading the right way, I focus my eyes on the crowds of people talking and dancing and head for the beach hut set back from the water. My cell buzzing, I take it from my purse and smile.

 ** _I can see you. Head for the hut. Eliza x_**

 ** _On my way…_**

I can see my girlfriend and Jo waving me over, and I'm not sure I've ever seen Eliza looking as hot as she is right now. A purple bikini top covering her perfect breasts is accompanied by the tiniest denim shorts I've ever seen and I'm not sure I'll be able to take my eyes off of her for the rest of the night. I struggle with that at the best of times, anyway. "Hey…" Her arms wrapping around my neck, she pulls me in close and it instantly calms me. "I missed you." Her breath washing over my ear, I wrap my arms around her waist and Jo gives me a smile.

"Are you sure it's okay for me to be here?" I ask as I pull back and her eyes find mine. "You and Jo are supposed to be catching up."

"Have you been crying?" She furrows her brow. "What happened?"

"Nothing." I give her a sad smile. "I'm okay…"

"Um, no you're not." She shakes her head. "Did she do something? Did she hurt you?" _With her words, yeah._

"No, baby." Giving her a sad smile, I run my thumb across her bottom lip and she leans into my touch. "I'll just hang around in the background. You guys go and do your thing."

"Like hell, you'll hang in the background. Your hand will be in mine for the rest of the night." Glancing back, she calls Jo over and her friend blushes a little as she moves closer to us. "Jo, could you grab us all some fresh drinks?"

"Of course." She smiles. "I'll be right back." Glancing around, this really isn't my thing. Ten years ago, maybe, but at 32? No. I'm way too old to be here.

"Hey, what happened?" Eliza pulls me away from the crowds and we move a little closer to the water. "Did you throw your dinner at her?"

"No, just my glass of red," I state.

"You didn't!" Her eyes widening, she pulls me down onto the sand and we sit for a little while. "You are joking?"

"No, unfortunately, I'm not," I admit. "I shouldn't have done it, but I'm tired of her behavior, Eliza. I'm sure it will make the news or the web…but I'd just had enough."

"My girlfriend is bad ass." She laughs.

"Pathetic, more like." I scoff. "Anyway, I'm done with her."

"What did she have to say for herself?"

"It doesn't matter what she said." I shake my head. "Just know that you were right. I should have listened to you when you told me how worried you were."

"I didn't want to be right, Arizona. Please don't think that I did. I just knew there was something off about her." Glancing behind us, Eliza gives Jo a wave and stands. "Come on, beautiful. Let's go and enjoy ourselves."

Giving her a genuine smile, she pulls me up to my feet and wraps her arm around my waist. Pressing a kiss below my ear, we walk barefoot back up towards the beach hut and Jo hands us our drinks. I should never have gone to that dinner. I should have come here with Eliza and Jo and left Alexis sitting alone all night. It's what she deserves…I know that now.

* * *

The drinks flowing and the music pumping through the air, I feel like I'm reliving my twenties. Sure, they only ended a few years ago, but I never thought I'd do this again. I never thought I'd be on a beach with the woman of my dreams, drinking like I don't have a care in the world. We've worked our way through most of the drinks at the bar, but the night is only young. I'm enjoying myself too much to even think about calling it a night yet. Eliza's ass grinding back against me, I cannot keep my eyes or my hands off of her. Disposing of my cup, my other hand finds her hip and I pull her back into my body. I don't know who is watching, and right now I don't care.

I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be, and even though I brought Eliza here…I feel like I'm living her life. I'm experiencing it for the first time since we met. That carefree life that I've missed since it ended a long time ago. Sure, I don't have any major worries in my life, but this is totally stress-free living. This is just…perfect. Turning her in my arms, she drapes her arms over my shoulders and gives me one of her gorgeous smiles. "Thank you for this evening." I smile.

"I didn't do anything." She furrows her brow. "It's just a night at the beach."

"And it's been amazing. Perfect." Pressing my lips to her own, she smiles against my mouth and I slip my tongue inside. Moaning, she tightens her grip around my neck and pulls me in painfully close. "Eliza…I love you more than anything in this world."

"I know you do, baby." Our foreheads resting against one another, her green eyes pierce through my soul. "And I love you more than anything in this world. I'll never hurt you, okay?"

"I know." I give her a sad smile. "I want us to still be doing this for many more years. Beaches. Vacations. Just living for the moment. I want to be doing those things _only_ with you."

"I'd love nothing more." She whispers as her nose grazes my own. "Forever, right?"

"Forever." I agree as my hands find her bare lower back. Her skin is soft to touch, but my hands are on fire. My fingertips are burning. It's my natural reaction to this woman in my arms. My body is always in overdrive when she is around, and when she isn't…it's a constant craving. I'd call her a drug, but she is so much more than that. She just everything I could ever want in a life partner. She is everything I could ever want…and more.

Nobody, and especially not Alexis will tell me any different. When I heard those rude and nasty things she had to say about my girlfriend, I was close to punching her. I have a reputation to maintain, though, and Eliza wouldn't have thanked me for any scene I may have caused. My words were confirmation enough for her to know that I don't want her in my life. My words told Alexis everything she needed to know. That I don't love her. That I don't want her. That I don't need her to make myself happy. I guess it's been a long time coming where that woman is concerned and I'm happy that I've just put all of her assumptions to bed.

One thing I know for sure…she will _never_ talk about Eliza like that again. I'll wrap my hands around her throat before she even so much as breathes her vile words again. She could never compare to my girlfriend, and I hope she never thinks that she can. She would only make a fool of herself, and honestly, it would be a little embarrassing to watch.

"Hey…" Eliza pulls me from my thoughts. "You wanna get out of here or are you enjoying yourself?"

"Oh, we aren't going anywhere." I smile. "We are here for the duration, beautiful."

"Well okay then." She gives me a nod. A little attitude in her voice. "Let's get back to party." My eyes finding Jo, she is talking with a group of people and she motions for us to join her. I don't know where this night is going, or at what point it is going to end…but I'm embracing it in its entirety.

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome as always.**

 **I haven't gotten around to reading the reviews for the last chapter yet, but thanks in advance.**


	40. Chapter 40

**I own nothing. All characters/storylines belong to Shonda. I'm simply 'borrowing' them.**

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Chapter Forty

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ELIZA'S POV

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Tonight has been amazing. Seeing Arizona just let go and enjoy herself may be my new favorite thing. I mean, no cell…no emails…no taking calls. It was just a welcome change. Honestly, I'm not sure anybody would have recognized her had that kind of people been at the beach party and it's only made me want to be with her more in that setting. I know back home we lock ourselves away and leave the world behind every night, but this was different. This was just normal. Well, as normal as it can be when Jo has had one too many and she has her arms wrapped around my girlfriend's shoulders telling her how much she loves her. Anyone else and they'd have been punched out for acting that way, but Jo is Jo, and I wouldn't ever change her. Never. At one point, I left for the bar and I came back to find my girlfriend and my best friend lying on the sand looking up at the stars. Arizona doesn't do stuff like that, at least not with strangers. Maybe she doesn't see Jo as that, though. Maybe she sees her as a genuine and honest person who she is just trying to get to know.

I want the very best for my friend, I really do, and I hope that after this trip, and maybe New York, she will see how great I have it and she will consider moving there. I can help get her set up with my pay and I'm sure she can find a job here. I mean, she's working at a local store back home so she hardly has commitments to the place. Her mom is back home and they have a great relationship, but her mom would understand, unlike my mother. Jo's mom was kinda like the mom I always wanted when I was growing up. She was always there for me when my own mom couldn't or wouldn't give me the time of day. I'd stop by for dinner and I'd stay over. Then it changed when I was sent to Poland and I wasn't allowed to drop by as often. I'd have to lie and pretend that I was staying back at school for something. Mom had it in her head that Jo and I were kissing in her bedroom at every opportunity so no, I wasn't allowed to be there. It hurt, but Jo understood. She understood, and she stayed around in the background. Once I'd gotten older, I stopped caring what my mother thought and just went with it. Jo will always be the sister I never had, and that will never change.

We have just taken her to her hotel room, and yeah…she had the same reaction to it as she did earlier when we dropped off her luggage. She cried. Drunk Jo is an awesome Jo, but she gets a little weepy. She will be mortified in the morning when she realizes that she acted that way around Arizona, and she will probably deny it, but I have it on video so she can see just how hilarious it was. I'm sure she will beg me to delete it and spend the entire day apologizing to Arizona, but we don't care. She's letting her hair down, and that's all there is to it.

Stepping off the elevator on our floor, Arizona has been getting a little handsy for the past hour or so. That was how I knew we should call it a night. My girl wants me, and that's fine by me. If we'd have stayed at the beach any longer, I'd have taken her there and then, and Jo would likely be in a Cuban hospital right now having her stomach pumped. _That poor girl just doesn't know when to stop._ Dragging me down the hallway, we come to stop before rounding the corner and Arizona forces me back against the wall. "Baby, let's wait until we get inside…"

"I can't." She whispers against my mouth. "You've been looking hot all night and now I need you."

"And you can have me however you like in a matter of seconds." I smile as I slip my fingers up her linen shirt. "You know that."

"Mm…" She moans against my mouth. "If you don't stop that, I'm going to fuck you right here and now."

"As much as I'd love that to happen, I don't think the other guests would appreciate me screaming your name at 5 am." _Yeah, it ended up being a very late night…or early morning._ Depends on how you look at it really.

Her hand slipping further down, she grips my ass in the very short and barely covering anything denim that hugging my hips and runs her tongue along my bottom lip. "God, you are so fucking hot right now." Stepping away from me, she bites down on her own bottom lip and her eyes take in my entire appearance. "So hot. Move your ass." Tugging me away from the wall and down the corridor, we round the corner and bounce off the walls either side of us. She doesn't say much, but I know she is thinking about getting me inside. Getting me inside, and getting inside _me._ I know exactly how to work her up, and I've spent the past few hours doing that. My reward? Arizona is about to be a freak in the bedroom. I know it.

Our hotel room coming into view, I stop dead when I catch sight of a woman sitting on the floor in front of our suite entrance. "The fuck is she doing here?" I'm not mad, I'm furious. After I'd gotten a few drinks down Arizona at the beach, I managed to get out of her what Alexis had said to her, and no, I'm not happy. I'm not happy at all. And now she has the audacity to be waiting for my girlfriend to return home? Oh, I don't think so.

Pulling Arizona down towards our suite, Alexis glances up and rolls her eyes at me. "Excuse me…" I kick her foot a little and she doesn't budge. "I said excuse me!"

"Fuck off, Eliza."

"Um, this hooker needs to get paid, so if you could move your skinny ass, I'll be on my way." Crouching down, I meet her eyes and she gives me a look of complete disgust. "Hey, I may look like a hooker, but I know how to treat Arizona right. You? You are nothing but a worthless piece of shit. Now fucking MOVE!" Shoving her out of the way, Arizona stands back and simply watches on. "Did you have anything you needed to say to her, baby?"

"Nope." She smiles. "I'm good, thanks." Stepping around her ex, we both head inside out suite and Arizona's lips are on mine faster than ever before. It's an animalistic urge she has going on right now, but I don't care. If seeing me how she just has turned her on, then it can totally happen more often. _Actually, maybe I should Alexis around if this is the reaction._ "You do know how to treat me right." Her lips working the skin of my neck, she bites down on my shoulder and I moan in both pain and pleasure. "So right, Eliza." Arousal gathering between my legs, my girlfriend is working her magic on my body and honestly, I don't know how I'm still upright. Her fingertips igniting my completely naked thighs, she digs in a little harder and I know I will have marks when we wake later. Do I care? No. No way. This woman can mark me all day long. She can do as she pleases with my body…I'm all hers.

"Arizona…" I breathe out as she sinks her teeth into the side of my neck before sucking on that sweet spot. "Fuck."

"You want me?" She breathes out against my ear. "You really want me?"

"More than ever before." I groan. Pulling my body through the suite, she forces the balcony door open with her foot and drags me out into the early morning Cuban air. Her lips never leaving mine. Forcing me up against the balcony, she hasn't even bothered to check if anyone is around. She isn't concerned, and as she works her lips down my body and pops the button on my shorts, neither am I. The world could be watching right now and I'd give them a free show. I'd totally give them a free show.

"I could spend my life making you feel good, Eliza." My shorts slipping down my thighs, my girlfriend places a kiss against my G string covered center before her lips work my inner thigh. My knees a little shaky, I stretch out my arms either side of me and grip onto the rail sitting on top of the frosted glass of the balcony. People may not be able to see what is happening, but I'm sure they could hazard a guess judging by the sounds coming from my girlfriend's mouth. Her fingers hooking around the thin string sitting either side of my hips, she guides it down my legs and I step out of it. "You make my head spin." Soft fingertips moving up the inside of my leg, they reach my thigh before my body jolts at the sensation of them gliding through my soaked folds. I'm not sure I've ever been so wet, but we have been teasing each other all night and I'm not sure I ever really came down from the high we were building between us at the beach.

An immediate loss of contact felt, I glance down and find deep blue eyes staring back at me whilst Arizona's tongue laps up the juices coating her fingers. "Fuck…" My eyes closing so I can savor the image in my head, she releases a low moan and suddenly her mouth is exactly where she knows I need it. Where I've desperately wanted it all night. "Shit, Arizona." One hand releasing its grip from the balcony rail, I tangle my fingers in her hair and she hums in satisfaction. We both know how she loves pleasuring me like this, and I'm more than sure my girlfriend is the master at going down. I don't even have to imagine anybody else being better than her…she's all kinds of hot when I have her head between my legs.

Rolling her tongue over my throbbing clit, I tighten my grip in her hair and she teases my entrance with a single finger. Dipping it inside a little, she curls it and I'm pretty sure I'm in heaven. Everything about this woman is absolute heaven. Sucking my clit into her mouth, she releases it with a pop and I'm not sure how much longer I can hold on for. I desperately want her to take me hard, but this slow teasing pace is perfect right now. I love how she does that. I love how she makes me want everything all at once.

The sound of a sliding door catching my attention ever so slightly, I know exactly what is happening right now. Alexis is on her balcony, and I'm going to enjoy every single moment of this. If that's even possible given how good Arizona is already making me feel. "Baby…" I breathe out as she laps up fresh arousal. "I need you to take me."

Her lips working up my stomach, she grazes her teeth against my nipple before pulling out of me completely. "Yeah?" She narrows her eyes. "Take you how?"

"You know…" I smirk.

"Mm, I do." She bites down on her bottom lip and turns me around. Her fingers tangling in my hair, she pulls at it a little and my head falls back on my shoulders. Pressing her body into me from behind, her lips find my ear and she wraps my hair around her hand and pulls a little harder. "Deep." She whispers. "Fast." My body shaking with anticipation, I can only nod. I don't have any words for her right now. Her hand slipping between our bodies, she spreads my legs wider apart and sinks two fingers deep inside of me. "And hard…" All breath leaving my body, she slams into me harder and harder with each thrust before pushing my head forward a little, causing my body to bend at the waist. "You've wanted this all night, huh?"

"Y-Yeah." My breath catching with every thrust, she quickens her pace and I swear she is deeper than ever before right now. Matching her movements, I bend a little more and she moans in appreciation for the view I'm giving her. "Make me come, Arizona."

"Fuck, yes." Her fingers slamming into me, my stomach tightens and my walls grip her fingers, pulling her in more and more. Every thrust sends me hurtling towards my orgasm and right now, every nerve ending is on fire. Every breath is forced. Every moan, genuine. "I wanna hear you scream my name, baby." Her words causing a switch to flick inside of me, she hits that spot like never before and sinks her teeth into my shoulder as she leans her body over mine. "Come for me, Eliza." Her whispers swirling in the barely noticeable breeze, I grit my teeth and my body takes over.

"Shit, yes…oh god, yes. Don't stop, A-Arizo-ona." A scream ripping from my throat, I brace myself against the balcony and my eyes slam shut. All breath leaving my body, my mouth hangs open and she continues to pound into me. "O-Oh, shittt." My knuckles turning white, I'm coming harder than I think I ever have in my life. Just when I think the sex cant get any better with Arizona she turns it up a notch. Just when I think I couldn't love her any more than I already do, she captures my heart all over again. Right now I'm literally holding myself up via the balcony, and if Arizona doesn't stop soon, I think I may stop breathing forever. Releasing a deep groan, her fingers slow their pace and she softly pulls out of me. "Mm, fuck." Biting down on my bottom lip, she pulls me up and my body rests back against her own.

"You okay?" She whispers in my ear from behind.

"Y-Yeah." I breathe out and give her a slight nod. "That was all kinds of amazing." I smile and turn my head a little. Her lips working my neck, she smiles against my skin.

"Open your eyes, beautiful." Doing as she asks, the most amazing sight is in front of me. A stunning and breathtaking sunrise for our eyes only is all I'm seeing. Like, it's seeping through my body and into my soul. "Amazing, huh?"

"Wow." My words barely above a whisper, she wraps her arms around my waist and rests her chin on my shoulder.

"Mm, pretty beautiful." She sighs.

"It is." I smile. "Everything about my life with you is beautiful, Arizona."

"Good…I want these sunrises to always be our own personal moments. I want you to always see what I'm seeing. Don't ever let anyone try to bring you down. You have a beautiful soul, an amazing personality…and I love you, unconditionally."

Being in Arizona's arms always brings something new, but I'm surprised every single day when I'm with her. I know Alexis is sitting on the balcony next to us. I can feel her ugly presence. Her negative vibes. Sure, I may have continued what we were doing without warning Arizona that he was there, but I didn't do it for Alexis. I thought about doing it to get back at her, but I don't need to.I've got the girl.I've got a perfect life. The perfect love. If she wants to stay and listen to all of this, that is up to her. She won't win, though. She will never win as long as I'm around…and I ain't going anywhere.

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome as always….**


	41. Chapter 41

**I own nothing. All characters/storylines belong to Shonda. I'm simply 'borrowing' them.**

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Chapter Forty-Two

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ARIZONA'S POV

* * *

Last night was like nothing I've ever experienced. Don't get me wrong, I used to party…and I used to party hard, but last night was an experience I haven't felt in a long time. I probably haven't enjoyed myself like that since around the age of 23. Having a demanding and high flying career meant that I had to calm everything down and focus on what I wanted in life. Sure, I went out drinking still and enjoyed socializing, but the hardcore partying stopped. It had to. I wouldn't have gotten to where I am now had I not stopped it all and focused on my career and my portfolio. The end result has been amazing but last night showed me that it can be done, just in moderation. Eliza doesn't strike me as the type to want to go out and do that every weekend, but I had so much fun that I'll be joining her the next time she is up for a night like that. For sure.

Glancing to my left, the clock is displaying a little after midday, and I feel well rested enough to get up and have some sort of day with Eliza and her best friend. Sure, I've only had around 3-4 hours of sleep, but having no business to tend to, I can do as I please. Maybe an afternoon at the beach…if Eliza and Jo ever wake up. I don't expect Jo to be feeling too great today, but I'm sure she can push on through. Placing a kiss on Eliza's forehead, I slip out of the bed and pull on a robe. I'd walk around naked but I learned my lesson many years ago when I was papped in nothing whatsoever. Yeah, apparently that's a thing and it sells pretty well.

Closing the bedroom door over, I head into the kitchen and prepare some coffee. Considering I drank a lot last night, I don't feel too bad. Tired, yes…but hungover? Surprisingly not. Grabbing my cell from the counter, I furrow my brow as I unlock the screen and find 17 missed calls from my mom, 6 from the office, 11 from my best friend, and numerous emails coming through by the second. _Okay, what the hell has happened._ As I'm about to call my mom back, my cell buzzes in my hand and she is calling me for the eighteenth time. "Mom?" I ask as I accept the call.

"Oh, honey." She breathes out, her voice breaking a little. "Finally…"

"What? What is it? Is it dad, did something happen…"

"No, we are all okay. Tim too." She reassures me.

"Okay, so why the hundreds of calls from everyone? What's going on?"

"Where have you been all morning?" She asks.

"Um, sleeping mom."

"It's past midday, honey."

"So? Am I not allowed a little downtime every once in a while?" I scoff. "I thought you of all people would understand that…" Shaking my head, I sigh. "Anyway, you haven't called to discuss the time or how long I've slept for, so what is it?"

"You haven't opened your emails, have you?"

"No, because I was _sleeping._ " I may be a little off with my mom right now but she isn't giving me much and she sounds like a nervous wreck. "Mom?"

"Alexis gave an interview."

"I know, I read it yesterday." I shrug. "It's no big deal, we talked and I threw my wine at her. It's done now. Over."

"No, honey…this one was only released today." My heart dropping into my stomach, I have no words. I have nothing. "Arizona?"

"I have to go, mom." Ending the call, I grab my iPad and place it down beside my cell. I need coffee before I even think about tackling this latest interview. If it's only being released today, Alexis has given it yesterday. Yesterday after I'd thrown my drink over her. I have a bad feeling about this, but I'm trying not to worry until I've seen it for myself. It could be nothing, but it's usually something where that bitch is involved.

Pouring myself some coffee, I sweeten it a little and quietly step out onto the balcony. I need to be alone right now. I need to see this for myself without the reaction of my girlfriend. It never ends well when Alexis has stirred something up, so yeah…I need to be alone for a little while.

Taking a deep breath, I settle back on a lounger and place my coffee on the table beside me. Unlocking my iPad, I hit an email my mom has sent to me with the link to the interview in question. _Come on, Arizona. It can't be that bad._ Honestly, I've never really faced much criticism during my career, but I'm good at taking it on the chin and moving forward. If Alexis wants to try and ruin me, she can go right ahead. I'll always come out fighting. The link directs me to a familiar news outlet, and a headline flashes up before the wording has even loaded.

 **SANTIAGO-ROBBINS SAGA IS OVER**

Okay, so that's not a bad start. I'm not entirely sure what the _saga_ was, but reading the word 'over' makes me feel a little better. _So, why was my mom so freaked out and upset?_ I don't understand. Taking my coffee cup in my hand, I settle back against my lounger and read through every word.

 **Miss Santiago, we were delighted to hear that there may have been something more to your friendship with Arizona Robbins. Can you shed any light on that?**

I can. I realize that a previous interview I did may have been taken the wrong way. Yes, Arizona and I were in touch with each other, but nothing more. We liaised on a new business venture and worked on some plans together, but nothing came of it. It wasn't what we wanted. A difference of opinion, shall we say?

 **So, you ladies won't be gracing our lives together again anytime soon?**

Unfortunately not. I'm a huge fan of Arizona and her work, but that is all there is to it. If it's not there, it's not there. We had an awesome relationship a few years back, but things got in the way and as you all know, we split amicably. Whatever demons she had, it became too much for us.

 **Demons? Do you care to enlighten us at all?**

Arizona isn't a woman who can settle down and be content with what she has. She's driven by her career, and anything else that comes along is seen as second best. Relationships included. That's what happens when you are a strong and powerful businesswoman, and I understood that. I'll always understand that. The media saw us how they wanted to see us, and I think that was for the best at the time.

 **At the time?**

Yes. I didn't want her name tarnished or her reputation to be anything other than immaculate, so I kept my thoughts to myself. She is doing very well right now and she has fought those demons, I think, so I'm willing to talk openly about our relationship. I'm willing to give our fans what they've wanted to know for so long.

 **Which is, why you guys separated…**

Exactly. I'm not here today to ruin her life or to make her look bad. I have a lot of respect for Arizona both as a friend and as a businesswoman. I'm here today to explain to people that life isn't always what it seems. People of the celebrity lifestyle don't always have it easy like the general public tend to assume. It was hard going at times, but we are no different to anybody else. We struggle too. With life. Addiction. Issues. Relationship problems.

 **And what can you tell us about those things you faced?**

That it's hard. It brings you down. Leaves you insecure and often lonely, even when the person you love is sitting right beside you. I have no doubt that Arizona loved me during the two years we were together, but I was second to the thing she loved most. I was second to her craving for sex. Her craving for sex that was often fuelled by cocaine and alcohol. It was never just as simple as spending the night together. Someone or something else always had to be involved. Whether it was other women or her drug, it was never just Arizona and I. I tried to understand, and I tried to help her through it...but addiction isn't that simple. Life with an addict isn't that simple. Sure, some people may not see sex as an addiction, but I can assure you it is a very real thing and it can ruin relationships. It ruined ours. Coming home each night to other women in my home was hard to take, but I cared about Arizona. We tried to work things out, but it wasn't going anywhere. She loved me, but she loved her drugs more… *****

I've never felt so hurt by anyone in my entire life. No matter what's been thrown at me, this is the very epitome of disrespect and career ending. That's right, my career has just ended in front of me. The second she released that interview, it ended, and I will never be the respected businesswoman I was yesterday…never again. I haven't even finished the interview, but I cannot read anymore. It's too painful. Her words have just taken my heart from my chest and dropped it from a great height. I don't even know what to do right now. Tears are falling but I'm not even trying to control them. I can't. I need to feel something other than hurt. I need to feel the emotion pouring out of my body. _My life is over._

To some, that may be an exaggeration, but it's not. Nobody will ever work with me again after this. Nobody will even think about taking on my work. My career is well and truly over. I know I have the opportunity to give my side of the story, but what's the point? Someone will always choose to believe the juicy story over the genuine one, so what's the point in defending myself? What's the point in any of this anymore? Hitting my mom's speed dial, I wipe away the tears, but it only provides a surface for fresh ones to fall.

"Arizona?"

"Mom…" I sniffle. "It's all over."

* * *

I've been down at the beach for the past hour. I didn't even bother to wake Eliza before I left. I know she needs her sleep, and I know once those beautiful green eyes open, my relationship will be over along with my career. How can I even try to tell her that it's all lies? I know the truth, and I know what is real…but this is going to break us. This is going to end us completely. I don't even have to think about the possibility of her hearing me out because it's not going to happen. She will walk and I don't blame her. Sure, I've done nothing wrong, but this would be too much for anyone. I know the shit storm I'm going to face when I return to New York, and I cannot put her through that. I cannot even begin to imagine how she is going to feel when she reads that interview. If I could make it disappear, I would, but the damage is already done.

After I'd spoken with my mom, I went through the other emails I'd received this morning. Seven of them where contractors pulling out of my company. Two were charities that I sit on, and one was a high-end boutique that I've done work for in the past. All of them saying thanks, but no thanks. Alexis has major power in our world, and she has just completely destroyed my career, my business, and my life.

I know she wanted me back, but this? This is extreme even for her. I'd go and speak to her, but I'm more likely to end up behind bars for murder if I do. It's best if I don't go anywhere near here. Honestly, I don't even want to breathe the same air as her.

Stepping back inside the hotel complex, a few eyes land on me but I drop my aviators over my eyes. I know they know...I can tell by the atmosphere in the room. "Um, Miss Robbins." One of the reception staff calls me over to the desk.

"Hey…" I sigh. "Everything okay?"

"We are sorry to have to do this, but we have to vacate you from your room. We seem to have double booked. I'm so sorry."

"Sure you have." Giving the nervous guy a small smile, I nod and step away from the desk. "I'll be out in the next hour."

"Thank you, Miss."

Taking a deep breath, I head for the elevator and try to hold back my emotions. The doors opening, I step inside and my shoulders shake as sobs wrack my body. This is the beginning of the end for me. I should never have come here. I always knew Cuba was a bad idea. If only I'd listened to my gut instinct and never flown out. Everything would be okay right now. Sure, the Alexis thing would have been ongoing, but this wouldn't have happened. Nothing on this scale would have happened.

The bell signaling my arrival, I step off and make my way down the corridor. It seems a shorter distance from the last time I walked it, but I know that is because I'm about to face my girlfriend for the first time today. I know I'm about to look into her eyes and tell her that I'm about to lose everything I've ever worked for. Swiping my card down the door, the green light flashes and I step inside. I can hear a low music playing out on the balcony, and Eliza is relaxing in the sun. _Do I wait a little while?_ No, I can't. We have to be out of here as soon as possible. I don't want her to have to rush to get her things together, but I think that is the least of my problems right now.

Moving out onto the balcony, I cut the music and she glances up at me. "Hey…" She smiles. "Where did you go?"

"The beach," I state as I move towards the balcony and glance out at the beautiful ocean. Nothing seems beautiful today, though. _Nothing._ "We, uh...we have to pack up."

"Oh. Okay." Her brow furrowed, she simply stares at me. "Is everything okay?"

"Not really, no." I give her a sad smile and she climbs off of her lounger and moves a little closer to me. "Don't." I stop her from coming any closer and she gives me a look of confusion. "We have to be out of here in the next hour. I hate that I have to rush you, but we have to leave."

"No problem." She smiles. "But are you okay?" Removing my glasses from my face, she immediately notices my bloodshot eyes and damp face. "What's wrong, Arizona? You've been crying."

"I'm okay." I clear my throat. "We should get ready to leave, though."

"Sure." Her brow furrowed again, she steps away from me and moves inside. Following her in, we head straight for the bedroom and I pull our luggage up onto the super king size bed that I woke up in unbelievably happy this morning. "Why do we have to leave? Are they sending someone even bigger than you here to stay? Some sheik?"

"No." I laugh. "At least, I don't think so. Could be, though."

"Then why are we leaving?" She asks again.

"Because Eliza…your girlfriend is a cocaine obsessed whore. That's why."

"Excuse me?" The look of complete horror on her face tells me that I could have approached this situation a little better. Right now, though, I'm not sure how to. "Arizona?" Swallowing hard, I can see the confusion in her eyes.

"She did an interview last night." Sighing, I take a seat on the edge of the bed and run my hands over my face. "Told them all about my _supposed_ past with her."

"And?" She wants more from me.

"And she told them that we split because I was a cocaine addict who craved sex from anyone who'd give it to me." My words hitting her square in the chest, she looks like the life has just been knocked right out of her. "So, we have to leave because this hotel doesn't want me and my business here and we have to leave because I'm about to lose everything."

"She said that stuff?" I know it's hard for her to take, and hard for her to hear, but I don't have much else to give her other than what I've read. "Is it, did, uh…"

"If you are about to ask me what I think you are about to ask, please don't. Please don't ask me if it's true, Eliza." My voice breaking, I could really use a hug from her but she is frozen in her spot.

"N-No, I just…" Sighing, she throws the pile of clothes in her hand down into her suitcase. "But is it, Arizona? Any of it?"

"I think you should leave." Standing, I move out into the kitchen and she follows me. "Stay with Jo, her room is paid up until next week. I'll have the name changed on it."

"No." She scoffs. "You cannot just say that to me and expect me not to question it. She's just accused you of being a drug addict, Arizona. I know in my heart she is full of shit, and I know in my heart that I know you…but did she actually just magic those words out of thin air and put them into a sentence to piss you off? Surely nobody is that low…"

"Leave," I demand. "Just go. Take your crap and get out, Eliza."

"W-What? Are you serious?"

"Dead fucking serious." Staring her down, her mouth falls open in shock and I raise an eyebrow. "Are you going to leave or do I actually have to remove you myself?"

"Oh, don't worry." She holds up her hands. "I'm going."

"Good." I smile.

"Don't ever speak to me like that again, Arizona. I know you are hurting, and I know that you are mad, but don't take it out on me. I asked you a question, one that I'm entitled to ask."

"You shouldn't even have to think about asking it." I scoff. "You should know me better than that." Rounding the counter, I hand over her cell and her purse and motion towards the door. "I'll have your stuff sent down to Jo's room. I'm out of here." Watching her step out into the hallway, she drops her gaze and her shoulders slump. "It was good while it lasted, huh?" Closing the door, I lean back against it and my knees buckle. The tears falling harder than ever before, my life is officially over. What's the point in even being around anymore?

Honestly, I don't know what hurts more. The accusations made against me, or the fact that Eliza felt it necessary to even question me. She has just spent the past few months with me…can't she see that I'm not that kind of person? Can't she see that I'd never do anything like that? I thought she would at least hear me out before she asked me if it was true. _Maybe I'm being a little quick to push her away but right now, it's the only option._

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome.**


	42. Chapter 42

**I own nothing. All characters/storylines belong to Shonda. I'm simply 'borrowing' them.**

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Chapter Forty-Two

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ELIZA'S POV

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 _One week later…_

"Hi, You've reached Arizona Robbins. I'm out perfecting my next property. Leave a message." DAMN IT! This is too hard. Everything about my life this past week has been too hard. Within thirty minutes of kicking me out of our room, Arizona was gone. Literally just gone. Like she had vanished into thin air. I've tried every hour of every day to contact her but she has just disappeared. I guess that was what she meant when she said she was out of here, but really? Is she really just going to leave me like that? She is just going to end us and not even allow me to say goodbye? If she really doesn't want me anymore because of what I said, that's okay, I get it. But I have to say goodbye to her. I have to see her face just one more time. We cannot end like this. I mean, I'm pretty sure we are done, but she has to say the words or I won't believe it. She has to tell me we are over. She just has to.

"Anything?" Jo pulls me from my thoughts and I shake my head. "Really? Damn."

"Yeah, really." I sigh. "What am I supposed to do, Jo? How am I supposed to fix this?"

"Honestly…I'm not sure you can, Lize." Taking a seat beside me on the hotel bed we've shared for the past week, she wraps her arm around my shoulder and tightens it a little. It's comforting. "You've tried her place, and you've sat at the office all week waiting for her. What else can you do?"

"I don't know." I shrug.

"Did you try her driver again?" Jo asks.

"Yeah, Rich hasn't spoken to her since she called him from Cuba and told him to take a vacation with his wife and kids." My voice breaking, I glance up at Jo. "What if she's done something stupid, Jo? What if she is hurt or is thinking about hurting herself?"

"This is Arizona Robbins we are talking about here, Lize."

"You don't see what I see, though. She has a heart, you know? She is kind and generous and loving. She is nothing like how the media portray her. She has a beautiful personality. She is sensitive and emotional and she could do something stupid if she really wanted to."

"She won't do anything stupid." Jo sighs.

"How do you know?" I ask. "Did you read it in one of her interviews? Did you read it in some feature they did on her?"

"What?"

"Sorry." Dropping my gaze, Jo takes my hand in her own and squeezes it. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that. Just like I shouldn't have ever questioned her in Cuba."

"But you did and you cannot change that."

I never meant to question her like that. I was just shocked. Shocked beyond belief if I'm being honest. I know Alexis is a complete bitch, but this is a level of crazy I've never seen from anyone. To ruin someone's career…someone's life like that? That is bordering on psychotic. Surely. As soon as I'd realized what I'd said, I regretted it. I regretted it so bad that I had a panic attack when I reached Jo's suite. I just didn't know what to do with myself. With Arizona. With this whole situation, we are in. It broke my heart to see her so upset but she still shouldn't have spoken to me the way she did. I just couldn't believe what I was hearing. Arizona isn't a cocaine addict. She would never touch the stuff. I know that. I've never even thought about the possibility, so why did I ask her if any of it was true? Why did I even have the slightest thought that Alexis could possibly be telling the world the truth? Even if she was, you don't do that to someone. No matter how much you dislike them or how they are living their life…you just don't do it. It is beyond disrespectful and hurtful. It is beyond anything I can ever begin to imagine.

I went to Alexis' room once I discovered that Arizona had gone…but she was gone too. Seemed everyone was gone except for me. Me…the one who is pretty much to blame for all of this. If I hadn't met Arizona...if I hadn't fallen in love with her…this wouldn't have happened. Sure, she might not be with Alexis, still, but I wouldn't be in the equation and Alexis wouldn't have felt so hateful towards Arizona for being so happy. Honestly, I get the impression that she only wants Arizona back because she can see how happy she is and she doesn't like it. Arizona has been single since they split, so she has never had to worry about the possibility of seeing her ex with another woman and happy…not until now. Not until I came around. Not until we fell in love and made each other the happiest we had ever been. So now, Alexis has gotten her way once again, and I'm sitting in a hotel room in New York, miserable, and with no idea where my girlfriend…Arizona…has gone. It hurts like never before, but she doesn't want me around her anymore. She has made that clear this week. She made that clear when she kicked me out of our Cuban suite.

"Can you do something with me?" I ask.

"Sure. Anything, Lize." Jo nods. "What do you need?"

"Will you come to her condo with me?"

Giving me a sad smile, she gives me a slight nod and stands, pulling me up to my feet with her. "Come on, let's do this."

* * *

Sliding my keycard down the door, the green light flashes and I'm granted access. I've only been here once since we arrived back from Cuba, and honestly, I hate being here. It smells of Arizona. Her presence is here. Her personality. Our life. I just hate being here when she isn't. It hurts when that scent hits me square in the face. It hurts way too much than it should. Jo is standing at the door and she looks a little shocked. "Oh come on, Jo. Now isn't the time to be starstruck."

"Sorry." Her mouth hanging open as she steps further inside, she gasps as she takes in the view. "Wow."

"Yeah, wow." I roll my eyes and move down the hall and into the bedroom. "I'll just get my stuff."

"Sure, did you want any help?" She asks as she runs her fingers over the leather couch I've spent many nights cuddled up on with Arizona.

"No, I think I need to do this part alone." I smile. "I'd say take a look around but this isn't my place anymore, so?" Shrugging, I close the bedroom door and take a minute to breathe through this intense pain I'm feeling. Picking up her pillow, I don't know why I'm doing this to myself. I don't know why I'm torturing myself. It just makes it harder to leave her for good. Because that is what's happening right now…I'm leaving. Taking a seat on the edge of the bed, I wrap my arms around her pillow and inhale deep. It's like she is in my arms right now. It's like she is here and everything is okay, except it's not, is it? Nothing is okay. A blue light on her docking station attracting my attention, I realize that she has left the power on and I think about turning it off. She shouldn't leave things on, it's a waste of electricity. My curiosity getting the better of me, I hit the play button on the controller that is sitting on the nightstand and pull myself up to the headboard. My knees up to my chest.

 ** _Say everything's better in the daylight_**

 ** _So why'd you leave me in the dark?_**

 ** _If you're gonna say something, say something_**

 ** _Don't say nothing_**

 ** _And you believe in something 'cause it sounds right_**

 ** _And when you told me what I wanna hear_**

 ** _Don't just say nothing, say nothing_**

 ** _Just say something_**

 ** _Don't blame me_**

 ** _For the mess that you've been causing_**

 ** _I believe_**

 ** _Every word you didn't say_**

 ** _Now I see_**

 ** _You're only gonna break me down_**

 ** _If you wanna say something_**

 ** _Man up, don't say nothing_**

 ** _Oh, I speak the truth_**

 ** _If you wanna say something_**

 ** _Silence don't mean nothing_**

 ** _But it does to you_**

 ** _Heard the silence become a part of you_**

Tears falling freely from my eyes, I squeeze them shut tight but its no use. Arizona has hurt me by not giving me anything at all. I get it. She's hurting. Can't I hurt with her, though? Can't I be the one who she screams and shouts at when it all becomes a little tough? I thought I could, but she seems to think different.

 ** _I been dreaming of your silhouette all night_**

 ** _'Cause I haven't seen it all_**

 ** _If you wanna say something, say something_**

 ** _Don't say nothing_**

 ** _Don't blame me_**

 ** _For the mess that you've been causing_**

 ** _I believe_**

 ** _Every word you didn't say_**

 ** _Now I see_**

 ** _You're only gonna break me down_**

 ** _If you wanna say something_**

 ** _Man up, don't say nothing_**

 ** _Oh, I speak the truth_**

 ** _If you wanna say something_**

 ** _Silence don't mean nothing_**

 ** _But it does to you_**

 ** _Heard the silence become a part of you_**

I just want something from her. I don't even care what at this point. I don't know where she is and honestly, it worries me. I know Jo was trying to reassure me before, but Arizona isn't invincible. I've thought about calling Barbara, but I'm not sure it's my place to do so. I'm not sure she would want to hear from me either. She is a very busy woman who probably doesn't have time for me and my miserable life.

 ** _No, I'm not on my knees_**

 ** _Begging for you_**

 ** _For you to comfort me_**

 ** _No, I don't want that_**

 ** _Just needed your honesty_**

 ** _But all I want now_**

 ** _Is for you to speak to me_**

 ** _Like you never did_**

 ** _If you wanna say something_**

 ** _Man up, don't say nothing_**

 ** _Oh, I scream the truth_**

 ** _If you wanna say something_**

 ** _Silence don't mean nothing_**

 ** _But it does to you_**

 ** _If you wanna say something_**

 ** _Man up, don't say nothing_**

 ** _Or I scream the truth_**

 ** _If you wanna say something_**

 ** _Silence don't mean nothing_**

 ** _But it does to you_**

 ** _Now the silence is part of me and you_**

The bed dipping beside me, I close my eyes and Jo pulls me into her arms. "Hey, I've got you." Sobbing into her chest, the tears fall hard. Jo has seen me like this many times before, but never because of a woman. Honestly, I think she may be a little shocked by it all. "Please don't cry." Her hand running up and down my back, it settles me a little but I still feel like my heart has been ripped into a million tiny pieces. Maybe I'm being dramatic, but the love I had for Arizona is like nothing I've ever experienced, and I know she was it for me. I know she was my one true love. That's gone now, though.

"Jo, I need to see her." I cry. "I just need to see her one last time before we leave."

"I know you do, but I don't know how to help you with that." She sighs. "I think you need to call her mom, Lize. If you really want to see her, I think you have to."

"Yeah…" I breathe out. "Could you give me a minute, please?"

"Sure." She smiles. "I'll just be outside if you need me, okay?"

"Thank you." Pulling my cell from my back pocket, I bring up Barbara's number and my thumb hovers over the call symbol. Taking a deep breath, I control my emotions and I hit call before I back out. The call connecting, I release a deep breath. "Mrs. Robbins, Hi."

"E-Eliza?" She asks.

"Yes, I'm sorry for calling."

"No, don't ever be sorry." She sighs. "I've been hoping you would call."

"Oh, I just wondered if you knew where Arizona was? I've been unable to contact her."

"I'm sorry, honey. I don't."

"Oh." She sounds like she is being honest, but I don't know. "Okay, well if you hear from her, could you tell her I have her key which I'd like to return to her. Failing that, do you know some place I could leave it?"

"Oh, sweetie." Her voice breaks and it takes me by surprise. "Please don't do that."

"She's gone, Barbara. She's gone, so I'm leaving."

"She just needs some time, honey."

"I understand that, but I need her and she hasn't even called or texted me so I think she is probably done with us."

"I'm sorry I can't help you with her location, honey. She just said she was going someplace that nobody would find her." I can hear the disappointment in her mother's voice, and then it hits me. I know where she is.

"That's okay." I sigh. "Thank you for welcoming me into your family, Mrs. Robbins. Take care."

"Goodbye, Eliza." Her voice even more broken than before, I end the call and wipe away the stray tear that has somehow escaped. I know where she is, and I need to head there alone. Jo will understand that I have to do this alone. She will understand, and she will be there waiting for me to return when I'm an absolute mess.

* * *

Pulling up the gravel path in a taxi, I see it. The Ferrari. It's there in front of the cabin, and honestly… I don't even know how I feel right now. She's been here all the time, and I didn't think to even look for her. I figured she'd left town. Got out of New York for a while until the dust settled. Although, dust like that? I'm not sure it ever settles. Not really. It may lie on the surface for a little while, but it's always there. Just waiting for you to make one wrong move. It makes sense now as to why I couldn't contact her. She has no cell reception here. She told me that when we stayed for a few days and I wanted to check my social media. I was happy about it then, but now? Not so much.

I guess I'm feeling even more hurt knowing that she was just a few miles away and didn't bother to try and see me. _She must really hate me._ This won't take long, though. I'll say what I have to say, and I'll leave. I'll leave her life like she has made it perfectly clear she wants me to do. "Thank you, I'll just be a few minutes."

"No problem, Ma'am." The driver giving me a nod, he dims his headlights and I open the door.

"Could, um…could you wait outside the path, actually? I'll come out to you when I'm done." Stepping out, he gives me a smile and backs down the gravel path. Nobody knows Arizona lives here when it suits her, and even though I'm mad at her right now, I respect her privacy. I don't want to be the one who blows her cover. Running my hands down my jeans, I stretch my neck out and take a few deep breaths. My anxiety level is pretty high right now, but I don't want to mess this up. I just want to say what I have to say…and then I can go. I can leave and head off far away from this city. It's not me. It never has been.

Taking the few steps up the porch, I knock lightly on the front door and I hear movement. My heart pounding out of my chest, the light comes on above my head and the door opens. "Eliza…" She's there. Right in front of me. Looking as beautiful as ever.

"I just came to give you some stuff back." Clearing my throat, I hand over an envelope and she furrows her brow. "Inside is the key card to your apartment. All of my stuff has gone and I've made sure the lights and everything else are switched off. The bed is also made for you."

"Y-You didn-"

Cutting her off, I hold up my hand and continue before I die in front of her. I've never left anyone before, and right now I'm hurting so much that every joint in my body is aching. Actually aching. "I figured it was best to get my stuff out in case you were waiting to go back, so the coast is clear where me and my stuff are concerned. Also inside is a cheque. It's made out to you, and it's for $25,000. I was saving my pay to buy you a ring worthy enough to sit on your finger but well, that's no longer happening. So, instead I've used it as payment for the trips you've taken me on. I didn't want to leave and you think that I'd just used you for your money. So, I'm returning what belongs to you. I don't owe you anything, I don't think."

"You found me." Her eyes glistening with unshed tears, she sighs as she steps a little closer and closes the door over behind her, leaving it a little open. "How did you find me?"

"I spoke to your mom. She said you'd gone some place where nobody would find you." My gaze dropping, I shift uncomfortably on the spot and shove my hands in my back pockets. "It made sense once I'd called her. Maybe I should have done it sooner. This could have been done days ago had I found the courage to call her before tonight."

"Did you want to come in?" Glancing around outside, she finds no car and no best friend with me.

"No, and don't worry…I had the driver park outside. Nobody knows you're here."

"Thank you." She smiles. That smile that usually brightens my day only makes me sadder right now. "Please come inside?"

"No, I have to go." I clear my throat. "The meter is running and I have a flight to catch." Taking a step back, I reach the edge of the steps and give her a small wave. "Take care, Arizona. I hope this will all work out for you and I hope you can get your reputation back on track. And yeah…" I give her a sad smile. "It _was_ fun while it lasted." Taking another step back, her front door opens and a dirty blonde comes into view.

"Everything okay out here, Zo?" Stepping up behind the blonde that was once mine, a slight laugh leaves my mouth and I shake my head. _I should have known._

 _'_ "Yeah…" She smiles as she glances over her shoulder. "I'll be in soon." Disappearing out of sight and the door closing again, I take the final step and my feet hit gravel. "Don't go, Eliza."

"I'm already gone, Arizona." I sigh. "I've been gone since you kicked me out of your suite in Cuba. I've been gone since you disappeared from my life. Just…take care, okay?"

"Please?" She pleads. "I waited for you to find me." She admits. "I waited for you to come to me. I figured you were mad for what happened in Cuba, and so I waited for you to come to me."

"And I waited for you to come _home_ to me, but you didn't." Walking away, I glance back and she is standing in shock on her front porch. "I hope you will be happy with her."

"W-Who?" She furrows her brow.

"Your new woman." I smile. Heading off down the path, I can hear the taxi engine running and it only encourages me to pick up my pace. I have to get away from this life. It's not me. It never will be. I belong back home with the misfits and the poor. That's how I was raised. It was good being here, and I really saw my future here, but that's over now. The time has come to return home and grovel to my mother. Probably whilst she is wearing an expensive coat funded by her payoff, but it's where I belong. Detroit is my home, and Jo is all I have right now.

 _This life has gone, Eliza. You will never be one of them…_

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome as always. Thanks for your continued support.**

 **Song was 'Silence' by Grace Carter (Acoustic version)**


	43. Chapter 43

**I own nothing. All characters/storylines belong to Shonda. I'm simply 'borrowing' them.**

* * *

Chapter Forty-Three

* * *

ARIZONA'S POV

* * *

I've been so fucking stupid. Why did I leave it so long? Why did I expect her to come to me when I was the one who kicked her out of our suite in Cuba? Did I think she would just show up in my life and forgive me for everything I've put her through this past week? Clearly, I did, and now I'm sitting here desperately trying to find answers to my own questions. My own stupidity. I'd thought about calling her many times since I returned from Cuba, but I wasn't sure how she was feeling. I wasn't sure she even wanted to hear from me. I mean, she had already made a comment about how I'd spoken to her, and I was worried that I'd hurt her with my words. I know I did, but leaving it this long just makes it so much worse. So much worse to the point where it has ended like this.

My heart is hurting right now, and it is my own fault. I called my best friend when I stepped off the plane in New York and she came straight to me. She and Eliza are the only people who know this place even exists. It's been over a year since I last saw her, but just like Jo, she showed up when I needed her. Just how Eliza's best friend would. I just needed someone who wasn't a part of this. Someone who hadn't seen us together or witnessed our love for each other. Honestly, it made her kinda sick how in love I am. She isn't one of those soppy types, but even she has told me I need to take my head out of my ass. She is one of the most forward people I know, so I know when I'm being ridiculous.

I mean, anyone else and I'd have just let them go. But this is Eliza Minnick we are talking about. This is the woman of my dreams. The one I cannot live without and have struggled without for this past week. I should have called her. I understand that. I understand that I've been childish. It just hurts. What I'm going through hurts. I've had four projects put on hold since that interview came out, and the emails are coming thick and fast from people who wish to no longer be associated with me. Thankfully, my best friend is a lawyer, and she knows what to do. She is going to sue the ass off of Alexis, but right now, that fucking bitch is the least of my worries. "Teddy…" Calling out to my best friend, she comes into view and gives me a sad smile.

"Zo, you are crying and honestly, it's becoming a little boring. I mean, I'm all for people being miserable and sad, but it's every day now. Can you just fix this, or don't…and move on?"

"Wow, thanks for being so fucking supportive." I scoff.

"You know what you need to do…I'm sick of telling you." Throwing her hands up, a small smile creeps onto my face and I shake my head.

"Hand me my keys."

"Fuck off." She flips me the finger. "I'm not your fucking butler. Get them yourself, Asshole." _Wow, okay. She ain't messing around._

"You know, it's been really amazing having you here." Rolling my eyes, I stand and grab my keys from the counter. I'm dressed in my sweats but I don't care right now. I'm going to look amazing driving around New York in a Ferrari and sweats. I'll bet the paps can't wait for that. "But I have to go."

"Where are you going?" She asks, her brow furrowed.

"To get my woman back." I smile. "I need her in my life, Teddy."

"And I haven't been telling you that all fucking week." She rolls her eyes and waves me away. "I'll just catch up with you tomorrow or something."

"Great. I love you…" Heading outside and down the porch, I'm hoping I can catch up to Eliza's taxi, but if not, I'll search the length and breadth of New York looking for her if I have to. Failing that, I'll sit at the airport. She cannot leave New York. I may not be entitled to a say in her life anymore, but I'm still going to give it a damn good go.

Screeching away from my lodge, I speed off down the path and hit the road. I know I don't deserve her words right now, and I know I've been an asshole, but I just have a few things I need to say to her. Maybe she will cut me off and walk away, but I have to know that I tried. I haven't slept this past week because of how I'm feeling, and the more I try to come to terms with how my life is now going to be, the more depressed I feel, and the more I drink. Thankfully, I hadn't opened my bottle yet when Eliza came by. To me, that tells me I'm supposed to be doing this right now. I'm supposed to be trying to find her and talking to her. I'm supposed to be in my car and burning rubber like never before.

Approaching a car in front of me, I slow my own down and it is, in fact, a yellow taxi with New York plates. The universe is probably laughing at me and it's not even her, but I have to follow this vehicle. I have to follow it and hope to god that she climbs out of it when it reaches its destination. Taking a left, it's definitely heading back to the city. It's definitely heading back to where we have shared our life so far. _God, I just want to touch her skin. I just want to hold her._ Following the taxi in front of me, I turn up the radio a little and I know I'm doing exactly what I'm supposed to be doing.

 ** _Like a montage in a movie, right before the hero dies_**

 ** _Like the first time that you listen to your favorite singer live_**

 ** _Like an echo in a canyon_**

 ** _Like tears, but you're not sad_**

 ** _Like a sunrise on a mountain_**

 ** _Oh, I wanna move you like that_**

 ** _Like a symphony at sundown, in the middle of July_**

 ** _When a lyric really gets you and it breaks you down inside_**

 ** _Like the home that you were raised in_**

 ** _Like faded photographs_**

 ** _Like the thrill of Christmas morning_**

 ** _Yeah, I wanna move you like that_**

 ** _Oh, I wanna move you like that._**

Tears falling freely, the taxi comes to a stop outside a downtown hotel and I furrow my brow. _Why the hell is she staying here?_ Oh, that's right…she just handed me everything she has in an envelope. I thought she may have been staying at the condo, but it seems that hasn't been the case. I'm so pissed at myself right now, but I don't know if she will even listen to me.

The back door opening, I brace myself for the body that is about to step out, and my heart beats out of my chest when I watch Eliza step out. Her shoulders slumped and her heartbreaking. Jumping out of my car, I don't even bother to lock it up but I head for the steps that she is ascending and grip her wrist before she can go any further. "Wait." My hair soaked as the rain falls around us, she turns and gives me a heartbreaking smile. "Please, just wait."

"Arizona, everything has been said." Pushing her wet hair out of her face, I shake my head. I refuse to believe what she is saying. "Go back home. Go back to your lodge or wherever you are calling home right now. It's not with me, I know that, and I'm okay."

"But I'm not." I cry. "I'm not okay without you…"

"Oh, I think you are." She turns to face me fully. "You seemed pretty okay when I came by."

"No, I didn't." I drop my gaze. "I'm a mess, Eliza, and I need you with me. I need you there to help me through this."

"No, you don't." She smiles. "You have someone…"

"Who? Teddy?" I furrow my brow. "She's no use at all, and she isn't you."

"But she's been good enough for you this past week when you haven't thought about me once."

"Teddy is my friend, Eliza. She is my Jo." I smile. "And all I've done is think about you. Everything about you. Please, don't leave."

"I have nowhere else to go, Arizona, and I have nothing here." Her words hitting me like a truck, I have to hold back the bile that is rising in my throat. _I've fucked this up completely._ "You will be okay." Taking my hand in her own, my body is soaked and shaking, but it feels so good. She feels good. "Just…find someone who you can love and who can give you everything, and be happy, okay?"

"No!" I state, my brow furrowed. "Please don't walk away from me, Eliza."

"You walked away from me, Arizona. This is on you…not me."

"I know that, but please...let me fix this. Let me fix us." I beg. "I'll fly us out somewhere tomorrow and we will talk this out and work through things."

"You can't just fix things with your money and your vacations, Arizona. Love doesn't work that way."

"Don't tell me how love works." I scoff. "I know _exactly_ how love works."

"Then you know that you can find someone else. Women are lining up for you, Arizona. I know you got hurt by Alexis, but we aren't all like that…so, I'm sure you can find someone to spend your life with."

"I don't want to find someone else, Eliza. I just want you."

"You know, I'd thought about turning back before. You know, talk it out with you, see how you really felt, but I couldn't. I couldn't because you have hurt me so much this past week and I fear that we can never truly get past it. I don't want to lead you for it to only crumble around us. I wouldn't do that to you, no matter how hard it is to look at you right now."

"You really hate me, don't you?" I sigh. "You really can't allow me back into your life."

"I'm struggling, Arizona. You have to understand that." Her gaze dropping, she releases my hand and my heart shatters in my chest. "Go home and sleep. You look fried."

"Just...don't leave, okay?" It's no use trying to talk to her right now. She doesn't want to hear what I have to say, and I get that. I understand that she can barely look at me, and if this is it, that is something that I have to deal with alone. "Please, meet me tomorrow?"

"I have a flight in three hours." She sighs.

"Cancel it," I state. "Cancel it and if you cannot forgive me, you can go. I'll leave you to go and live your life. Please, just meet me tomorrow?"

"Okay." She sighs.

"Take this back, too. I don't want it." Pulling the envelope out of my back pocket, she tries to push it back into my hand but I step away. "I don't want it, Eliza. Just, go and sleep on this. But please, if you decide to go…don't do so without saying goodbye. I love you." Walking away, my heart is breaking at the possibility of her getting on that flight in three hours time. "I'm going to the condo, okay? If you change your mind, you know where to find me. I'm done with hiding."

Giving me a shrug, she turns and walks away from me. The envelope still in her hand, I watch her take each step one at a time and I have a bad feeling that she won't be here tomorrow. Was that our goodbye? Was that the last time I'll ever see her? I don't know, but it's breaking my heart thinking about it. Slumping my shoulders, I head down the soaked steps and back to my car. Slipping inside, I fire up the engine and glance up at the hotel she is staying at. She's already gone. She's already inside. Not a single glance back. _This is over, I know it is._ My tires screeching, I pull away from the sidewalk and head in the direction of home. Our home. Where I belong with Eliza.

* * *

I'm not sure I've ever felt this way in my entire life. I mean, is it possible that your heart has been taken from your body but you are still somehow breathing? I'm cold. I'm cold and I don't know what to do with myself. I mean, I'd light the fire, but what's the point? It's just a waste of time and energy lighting it. Even if I only have to press a fucking button to get it going. I hate being here. Nothing feels as it should. I can't even smell Eliza here. Her scent has just gone. Disappeared from my life. Along with the rest of her, probably.

Picking myself up off of the floor, I turn off the light and make my way down the hall and into the bedroom. My clothes still soaked from my encounter with Eliza, I strip them from my body and put something a little more comfortable on. Fresh sweats are what I'm going for tonight. It's not like I have to impress anyone. It's not like I have to look my best for my girlfriend. I don't even have a girlfriend right now, so what's the point? Pulling my damp hair up into a bun, I climb into bed and pull the cover up and over my body. Shivering as my body meets cold sheets, I hate this.

A crunching sound catching my attention whenever I move my head, I reach beneath my pillow and pull out an envelope. _This is it._ This is the end. I can feel it. I just know it. Slipping my finger beneath the crease, it rips open and I pull the handwritten letter out of its housing.

 ** _Arizona,_**

 ** _If you are reading this, tonight didn't go as planned. Tonight, we officially ended. I don't know if you will read this a week from now, or a month from now, but I know one-day…you will get your life back on track and you will return home. A home that doesn't include me. Maybe I was stupid to believe that we could ever take on this world together, and maybe it just went wrong somewhere, but you have to know that I've loved every minute I've spent with you. The vacations, they mean nothing. They were beautiful, but I was at my happiest when I was laying with you in this bed. Our bed, at one time. I was happiest when I had you to myself and being nothing more than in love. Nobody to interrupt us and nobody to disturb our flow. Our flow that was once so good, it would make the other power couples blush. Thank you for guarding me against that life. Thank you for treating me with nothing but love and understanding. You had every opportunity to walk away, but you didn't. You stuck it out, and it was more than I ever could have imagined. Holding your hand in Central Park was like a dream come true for me. It truly was. Kissing you in public for the first time ever, enjoying dinner with you…it was more than I ever could have hoped for in life._**

 ** _Please, don't ever think that you didn't make me happy because you did. You made me happier than I've ever been and I know that I'll never find that with anyone else. I don't ever want to find that with anyone else. Nobody could compare to you, but I think we are done here. You took my words in Cuba as not trusting you, but that wasn't what it was. I was worried about you. I was shocked. Shocked that someone could be so cruel and callous. Shocked that someone would be willing to ruin someone else's life that way. I realize that my words weren't necessary at the time, but I never intended to hurt you with them. I never intended to question you like I didn't trust you. I was just completely shocked by what you were saying._**

 ** _None of that matters anymore, though. You have made it clear that you do not want me in your life, so I've left. I've gone back to Detroit and my plan is to make something of myself. What that is, I don't know. You have given me the strength and courage to know that I'm worth more than what anybody else sees in me, though, so I guess I can't really go wrong in life._**

 ** _I'll always take your words of encouragement with me wherever I go, and I'll always see your smile and those beautiful eyes whenever I close my own. I just want you to be happy. Whoever is lucky enough to experience everything you have to offer, I'm jealous. I won't lie. I think I've said all there is to say, though, and I wish you every success in your career and in your life. It's time for me to leave this life and it's time for me to leave whatever love we may have for each other behind. I'll always love you. Don't ever forget that._**

 ** _You are a beautiful soul, Arizona. It just didn't work out with us. Why I'll never know, but just remember that you made one lame ass girl feel better than she ever has in her entire life._**

 ** _I love you. I'll never forget you. Be awesome and never let anyone bring you down._**

 ** _Eliza_**

 ** _Xxx_**

My entire body shaking from the sobs rippling through it, I place her letter against my heart and the tears fall. They fall and they fall and they fall. I'm not sure if they'll ever stop. My head burying deeper into my pillow, I actually think I'm dying. I've never felt such hurt and such pain like this in my life. Even Alexis' words didn't hurt me as much as this does. Eliza is the very epitome of what I want in life. What I see in my future. I know I've been stupid, but I didn't expect this. I didn't expect her to completely dismiss me from my life. But she has. She has, and I have to deal with that myself. I don't know how to even begin to figure this out, but surely time is a healer. It's what they say, right?

Pulling the blanket tighter around me, I've never felt so vulnerable. I've never felt so lonely or sad in my entire life. Nothing could ever compare to this feeling of complete life-shattering news. My emotions are dying. My body is dying. My life is dying. My heart…that's completely gone. Ripped from my chest and never to be seen again. Pulling Eliza's pillow closer, her scent hits me and it only makes me cry harder. I've never cried like this. I've never allowed my emotions to get the better of me like this and it was never my plan, but here I am…screaming for the whole of New York to hear. I hate it, but I cannot control it.

Turning, I lie back and glance up at the ceiling. My body still shaking as my sobs continue, there is a very slight light in the bedroom but I can't move. I'm emotionally tired and physically, my body is done for…but then I feel a dip in the bed. _That was definitely a dip in the bed._ Lying painfully still, an arm wraps around my waist and the tears only fall harder and faster. "Eliza?"

"Shush." Her body molding into my own, I relax a little and her hands set my skin on fire. Literally. "Tomorrow, Arizona." Her voice telling me that she is really here and this is not a dream, I glance to my right and find green eyes staring back at me. "We will talk tomorrow."

"I love you." My sobs increasing, she pulls me a little tighter against her and everything falls into place. Everything.

"I love you, too."

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. I haven't even looked at the reviews for the last chapter yet. You know, in case I get strung up. Ha! Thanks for sticking with me, and thanks for your opinions. Reviews are always welcome. You all know this. Tons of love and kisses for the time you have spent reading this fic. Mwah! Xx**


	44. Chapter 44

**I own nothing. All characters/storylines belong to Shonda. I'm simply 'borrowing' them.**

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Chapter Forty-Four

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ELIZA'S POV

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It's 6 am and I've laid awake all night. Arizona cried until 3 am and then once she had finally fallen asleep, her exhausted body continued to play games with her. Mumbling and talking in her sleep is what has been happening on and off for the past three hours and it's breaking my heart. It's breaking my heart because I know that it is the hurt we have caused each other than has done this to her. I mean, I'm the first to admit that she is no different to anybody else and that she has feelings, but this? I never expected this from her. The lack of communication for a week certainly didn't prepare me for this. I figured she was mad at me or didn't want me in her life, but judging by the night I've just spent with her…that couldn't be further from the truth. She is actually heartbroken.

Last night when I came by, I didn't expect her to be reading my letter. I expected her to be sleeping…maybe even drinking away her pain. I was leaving. Even after she had followed me and begged me to stay, I was still going to leave. I just didn't want to tell her and have her on her hands and knees pleading with me in the rain. She is better than that. She is better than all of this. Sure, we have probably gone about this the wrong way, but I'm still mad at her for not contacting me. I understand that she is in an immense about of pain right now, but I'm not the bad guy. I get that I shouldn't have questioned her, but it was my immediate response. Isn't it everyones?

I do trust her and believe that she wouldn't do something like that, and I've been wanting to tell her that all week. I've been desperate to tell her that I was sorry for hurting her. I've been desperate to tell her that I love her. She just…she disappeared. Yes, I should have realized where she was, and she says that she was waiting for me to find her, but that still doesn't make her leaving me right. It still doesn't excuse the fact that I've spent the entire week wondering if she was even still alive. The pain in those eyes in Cuba told me that she was in a bad way, so yeah…I thought she may have done something stupid.

I lay awake for nights wondering if she was okay. I lay awake for nights wondering what I'd do if I lost her forever. If she was dead at the bottom of a lake somewhere. Sure, I may have been overreacting, but it's how I felt. It's what my body and my mind were telling me. Now I'm here, though, I don't even know what to say to her. I can't say anything other than I'm sorry. Sorry for the letter I wrote. Sorry for questioning her. Sorry for not finding her sooner. I'm just sorry for everything. I'm still struggling to understand why I'm the one saying sorry and not Alexis, but she isn't any of my concern right now. _She_ can be dead at the bottom of a lake for all I care. She is nothing to me. She has never been and she never will be. _I just hope we can work through this._ There may be some harsh words and there may be some screaming, but ultimately, I want to work through this. I want to be able to lie down tonight and sleep peacefully for the first time all week. I know we aren't okay and I suspect Arizona knows that too, but we have to try to come to some sort of understanding between each other. We have to both realize that we are in the wrong one way or another. Because we are. We've both hurt each other.

Now that Arizona has finally settled, I feel a little more comfortable heading out and making coffee. There is no way I can sleep right now. I have far too much going on in my head. Slipping out of the bed, I still have my clothes on from last night and I feel awful. I feel tired and my body feels heavy. Everything about the start to this day is already depressing me, and it has only just begun. I'd change, but I don't have any clothes here anymore. Everything I own is packed in boxes and at the hotel room I've been sharing with Jo. She is still here, and even though I told her I'd be okay, she is refusing to leave until Arizona and I have figured this all out.

Shrugging to myself, I head out of the bedroom and quietly make my way down into the kitchen. My cell still sitting on the counter where I placed it last night, I pick it up and hit a familiar number. The call connecting, a sigh of relief hits my ears. "Thank God, are you okay?"

"I'm fine, Jo."

"I haven't slept all night worrying about you guys." She admits. "Is Arizona okay?"

"She's sleeping." I sigh. "Could you bring me some clothes by? I know it's _really_ early, but I have nothing here."

"Of course."

"Thanks so much. Text me when you are down in the lobby and I'll let you up. I don't want to wake Arizona with the security system."

"No problem." She agrees. "I'll be around half an hour."

"Bye, Jo." Ending the call, I set my cell back down on the counter and prepare some fresh coffee. Dropping a spoon, I close my eyes and hope to god I haven't woken Arizona up. I think she needs to sleep before we have any discussions about us and our relationship. I want her to have a clear mind when the time comes for that.

Powering up the machine, I stop and furrow my brow when I hear whimpering coming from down the hall. From the bedroom. From Arizona. Shaking myself from my thoughts, I make my way down to her and find her sitting up in the bed, her head in her hands. "Hey, what's up?" I ask as I stand in the doorway. _What's up? Seriously, you just actually asked her that?_

"Y-You're here." Removing her hands from her face, she glances up at me with the saddest blue eyes I've ever witnessed.

"I didn't leave, Arizona." Giving her a sad smile, she sobs uncontrollably in the middle of the bed. "Hey, don't cry." Climbing onto the bed, I take her in my arms and she holds onto me like I'm about to leave. Like this is all about to disappear and she will wake up. "Please don't cry. You need to sleep."

"I don't." She sobs. "I just need you."

"I'm here, and I'm not going anywhere," I state as I pull back and find her eyes. "Please just sleep for a little while."

"I thought you'd left." She whimpers. "Do you want to leave?"

"No." I smile. "I was just making coffee and a quick phone call."

"Phone call?" Her brow furrowed, she wipes away the tears that have gathered on her jawline and stares at me.

"Yeah, I need some fresh clothes. Jo is bringing me some by…if that would be okay with you? I mean, is her coming by okay with you?"

"Of course, it is." She agrees.

"She's just a little worried about us right now, but she won't stay long. I'll just grab what she brings and I'll see her later."

"Eliza, Jo is welcome here anytime. You know that."

"I know, but with everything that's happened, I wasn't sure what was okay anymore." Sighing, I sit back on my knees and run my fingers through my hair. "We are going to be okay, right?"

"God, I hope so." She breathes out. "I'm just so sorry I didn't come to you, Eliza." _She doesn't have anything else to be sorry for, anyway._ She hasn't done anything wrong other than pushing me away. Even if she didn't see it as that, it's what I thought she was doing. "I don't even care about anything else that is going on in my life right now. I just need us to be okay."

"I know…" Giving her a nod in agreement, I climb from the bed and move towards the door frame. "Are you going to sleep a little longer or can I get you some coffee?"

"Coffee would be great." She gives me a small smile. "I'll be out in a couple of minutes.

* * *

It's been two hours since Arizona woke and joined me in the living room for coffee, and Jo has just left. She insisted on leaving as soon as she got here but Arizona wouldn't allow it. She had to have breakfast with us before she could leave and Arizona made a comment about the hotel she is staying at. I mean, it's not one of the best, but it did the job. It was only somewhere for us to crash. Now, though, Jo has been sent back there to pack up her things and Arizona is having her moved to one closer to us and one much nicer than the one she is in. She invited her to stay at the condo, but in the end, we all agreed that she and I have a lot of talking to do, and some alone time would be good for us right now. Jo refused to stay here the second it fell from Arizona's lips. Honestly, I don't know what we are right now, and the waiting is killing me.

Like, do I call her my girlfriend still? Are we just friends right now? Are we even that? I don't know, and I hate the not knowing. I hate the idea that she may have some not nice things to say to me…and then we are back to the beginning. Then we are back to being nothing. I'm not sure I can take that again. I'm not sure I can even bring myself to start up this conversation. I know we have to get this out, though, and the sooner we rip the band-aid off, the better. "Arizona?" She glances over at me from the kitchen and gives me a small smile. "Maybe we could have that talk now?"

"Y-Yeah." She nods and moves into the living room. "Mind if I sit?" Pointing to the spot beside me, I give her a smile and she slumps down beside me. "Sorry, I guess I was just stalling…"

"Why?" I ask, my brow furrowed.

"Because you were about to leave last night, Eliza, and I still don't know why you decided not to. I still don't know if you are even here to stay."

"I decided not to because I realized that we had both made mistakes. I realized that you not contacting me wasn't because you didn't want me anymore, but because you have an immense amount of crap going on right now, and it isn't all about me."

"That's not true." She sighs. "This is about you. I should have called you and you should have been with me." Taking my hand in her own, it feels nice. It feels…right. "I've been going out of my mind all week and you are the only thing that has kept me a little sane. When businesses I've worked with for years turned their back on me, I didn't care. I didn't care because I kept telling myself that I had you. That I'd always have you."

"And I didn't come." I drop my gaze. "You needed me and I wasn't there."

"But that is my fault. If I'd called, if I'd contacted you somehow…I'm sure you'd have been there. I'm sure you'd have been the first one at my door."

"I would have." My voice breaking, she tightens her grip and gives me a sad smile. "I thought you hated me." A single tear falling, she leans in a little and runs her thumb across my cheek. "I really thought you hated me."

"I could never hate you." She disagrees. "I was mad in Cuba, and I had no right to do what I did or say what I said, but I never expected you to ask me if it were true. I never expected you to ask me if I used cocaine."

"Arizona…"

"But you don't have to explain yourself…you did that in your letter."

"I'm sorry it upset you," I admit. "I'm sorry about all of this."

"You have nothing to be sorry for." She smiles. "I shouldn't have lost my temper. I mean, I get it. I understand why you questioned me. I can't be sure that I wouldn't have done the same but at the time…I just didn't expect it. I guess I thought you would have just supported me and taken my word."

"I did want to support you. She just…God, she just gets involved in everything and it always turns to shit."

"Don't worry about her, Eliza." Arizona laughs. "I've spent the week going through it with Teddy, and she is going to fix it."

"How?"

"Well, first she is going to sue her ass and demand a public apology…"

"She's never going to apologize." I scoff. "If she does that, she will look like a liar and a fool. Why would she want the public to see her that way?"

"Because I have stuff on her." She shrugs. "All those things she said about me? You asked why she would just come up with something like that?" Giving her a slight nod, I stare intently. "She found it so easy to make up such a story because that was _her_ life."

"She was an addict?" I raise an eyebrow.

"Mmhmm." She nods. "She thinks I don't know, but I knew long before we split."

"H-How? I mean, why did you stay with her if you knew?"

"Because I wanted her to be okay. She just denied it every time and then she would come home late when I was sleeping and climb to bed like nothing had happened. I knew she had been with other women. I knew she had been out hooking up with everyone else. I could smell them on her." My stomach turning at Arizona's admission, she seems surprisingly okay talking about it. "You remember a few months back when you joked around about the threesome?"

"Y-Yeah…" I don't like where this is about to go.

"Well, the first and _only_ time I was ever involved in anything like that was with Alexis. The relationship was new and fun and I thought why not, you know?" Giving her a nod, she returns a sad smile. "I know you probably don't want to hear this, so just tell me to stop, okay?"

"No, I'm okay." I smile.

"It happened once, and it just wasn't my thing. Alexis insisted on it happening again, but I refused. She even asked if we could film it and as you can imagine, I wasn't happy about it. Eventually, she gave in and stopped asking, but I knew she was desperate to do it again. I knew she needed that third person, for whatever reason, to really enjoy herself. So, I knew she was out getting it elsewhere. So long as she wasn't involving me in it, I didn't care."

"I hate that she did that to you."

"Yeah, me too, but it happened and I cannot change it." She shrugs. "Even though we split amicably, I knew things weren't right. Leading up to the split, I came home one night after a killer day at the office and something was off. Something was weird and different about my home. I didn't know what, but it was creeping me out." Clearing her throat, she settles a little better on the couch and crosses her legs underneath her. "What I'm about to tell you, you _cannot_ breathe to another person. Not even Jo. You have to promise me, Eliza."

"I promise." _I don't know what she could possibly tell me that is so bad, but I'd never dish out her secrets. Never._

"The following day, Alexis left town for a business weekend and I was going out of my mind as to why my home felt different. We had a camera circuit in our home at the time because there had been a few attempted break-ins, and so I sat down one afternoon and went through the system. I guess she forgot about it."

"O...kay." I furrow my brow.

"Let's just say that I didn't want to be in my home anymore." She gives me a sad smile and a flicker of disgust catches my attention in her eyes. "In my safe, I have a disc. I don't know why I made a copy of it or why I even thought about anything other than destroying it, but I do. I've never spoken about it. Not even to her. She doesn't know it exists. If you want to see it, you can, but I'd rather you didn't."

"What's on the disc, Arizona?"

"Alexis. Seven women. A lot of sex and a lot of cocaine. In _my_ bed. In _my_ home. The home I'd worked my ass off for."

"No way." My eyes widening, she gives me a nod and I can't believe what I'm hearing.

"I knew something was wrong when I came home. There were around six hours of footage, but I cut that short to about thirty minutes. It was just constant. Women lining it up on her body. Alexis lining it up on theirs. Line, sex, line, sex. Vodka. Tequila. Champagne. I just…thinking about it makes me sick."

"You have to put that footage out, Arizona. She cannot get away with this any longer. I mean, look what she has done to you. She has ruined your life."

"No, she hasn't." She smiles. "If you'd have gotten on that flight…my life would have been ruined, but you are here. You are hearing me out and we are going to be okay."

"So, you're just going to ignore it? You're just going to let her get away with this?" I ask, incredulously.

"Not quite." She perks up. "But before we even waste our time thinking about her, can I please just hold you for five minutes?"

"Y-Yeah." My smile widening, she pulls me forward and she lies back on the couch. Settling between her legs, I study her face and she looks tons better than she did earlier. "I hate how much she has hurt you…"

"Me too, but she will never have what we have, Eliza. That is the difference between you and her…She is motivated by sex and power. You? You want nothing more than love and commitment. A happy life. A calm evening filled with conversation and laughter. I never had that with her. If it wasn't what she wanted, I was kicked to the curb."

"I didn't think she was into _that,_ though." Sighing, my hand comes to rest beneath my girlfriend's shirt and her skin feels amazing. "You've never spoken about it to anyone at all?"

"No, only you." She admits as she runs her fingers through my hair. "Don't worry about me, Eliza. Everything will be okay. Once she takes back her words, I _will_ rebuild what I've lost."

"Is it really bad?" I ask.

"So so." She shrugs. "It's far from what I had a week ago, I know that much."

"I'm sorry I wasn't there for you…"

"No more apologies. That's done. It's over." She states. "I just need you to be patient with me and be there for me. Some days aren't so great, but now you are here…it can only improve."

"Just tell me what you need and I'll do it, okay?"

"I just need your love and support. That's all I'll ever expect from you." Pulling my body up her own a little further, the scent of her shampoo causes a small smile to appear on my lips. "What?" She furrows her brow.

"I missed you…" I admit. "Everything about you, Arizona."

"Yeah, it hasn't been easy." She fixes her gaze on the ceiling above us and I take in her profile. "It has to get better, though, right?"

"Already is for me." I shrug. "But I know this is hard for you, and I'm fully prepared to do whatever it takes to get you your reputation back."

"Oh, I don't think I'll ever _really_ get that back." She laughs. "But that's okay. My true friends know who I am. They know what I'm about. Maybe some of my contractors will come crawling back, but honestly, I'm not sure I want to do business with them again. They were quick enough to walk away, so no…they can grovel and beg, but they've shown their true colors now."

"So, we'll find you the best Goddamn business there is out there! _I_ will find you the best business there is out there."

"And I don't doubt you for one moment." She smiles as her blue eyes find my own. "I do have something I want to run by you in the next few days, though. Just…not now."

"Okay." I furrow my brow. "I don't like the sound of that."

"Why? I just wanted your input on something. Let's just say your opinion matters to me, and I want you to have a say on a few things at the office."

"And I'll be more than happy to help you out with that. When was the last time you were at the office?"

"Before Cuba." She states. "I should probably head in and see what's left of the place, huh?"

"Everyone is still there, Arizona. You have the support of your staff."

"How do you know?" She asks.

"I went there every day in case you came by."

"O-Oh." Turning a little, she pulls my body into her own and rests her forehead against my own. "I'm sorry I didn't show."

"It's okay." I smile.

"I really want to kiss you right now, Eliza." Her gaze switching to my lips, I lean in a little and graze her lips with my own. "God…" Her eyes closing, I can feel her heart pounding against my chest. "I thought I'd lost you forever."

"I'm here, Arizona." My lips pressing against her own, I smile against her mouth and she runs her fingertips up my tee, her hand resting against my lower back and pulling me in as close as possible. "And I really want to kiss you, too, right now."

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 **Thanks for reading, guys. I cannot believe the reviews for the last chapter. I've spent the entire day reading and rereading them. They're awesome. Just like you lot!**


	45. Chapter 45

**I own nothing. All characters/storylines belong to Shonda. I'm simply 'borrowing' them.**

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Chapter Forty-Five

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ARIZONA'S POV

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It's been a strange kind of day. I mean, it's so much better than I expected, but strange, nonetheless. Eliza and I haven't moved from the couch for hours now and honestly, I don't ever want to leave this spot. My arm died a while ago and I'm dying to pee, but I fear that if I get up from this position, everything will end around me. Today really has been dreamlike. Did I expect Eliza to be here when I woke this morning? No. I actually thought she had left when I woke alone. It made me wonder if she had even been here last night. I knew she had because I still had her scent all around me, but my head was such a mess that I wasn't sure what was real anymore. I genuinely thought my relationship was over. I thought I'd never see her again, but here we are, lay together and holding each other like the world is about to end.

Honestly, I don't even have any more to say about the past week. I know I shouldn't have asked her to leave our suite but everything was just becoming too much for me. I've never faced anything like that in my life. Nothing even close to that. I didn't know how to deal with it and the thought of facing it head on was way too much to even begin to think about. So, I took it out on my girlfriend. I took it out on the only woman who has ever had my back. Eliza, the most beautiful and kind hearted person ever to come into my life…and I almost lost her because of it. If I could spend the rest of my life making it up to her, I would. I suspect she doesn't want that, though. She just wants us to be us. She just wants this. Happiness. Content. Loved. I can give her those things and then some. Whether I lose everything or continue to build my empire…none of it matters. It doesn't matter if I don't have her by my side, and she knows that. She knows I love her more than life itself.

Her fingers stroking my hip, I'm realizing that as the day has gone on, my emotions haven't lessened. I feel like at any moment I could just burst out into tears and I don't know why. We've said what needs to be said, and she hasn't made any attempt to get up and leave. So, why do I feel like this? Honestly, I can't stop thinking about that footage I have locked away. I never planned to tell Eliza about it. Simply because it's not important. It doesn't affect our relationship, and it's never affected my life, so it never needed to be brought into conversation and talked about. I hoped it never would, but Alexis has gone way too far this time, and I'm not prepared to take the fall for her shit any longer.

I know my girlfriend wants me to release the footage to the media, but I'd never do that. I don't care how much hate I have for that woman…I'd still never do it. I'm not that kind of person, and if I did hand it over, I'd be no better than her. I'd be just as pathetic and sad as she is. There is enough hate in the world without me contributing to it, so no, that footage will not be released into the world and that's that. Will I bribe her with it? Probably. That doesn't mean I have to do it publicly. Doing so would only bring more crap into my life, and I really don't need it. I've always lived a private and responsible life, and it's always worked in my favor, so why would I want to change that? Why would I want to be known as the woman who ruined someone else's life simply to get back at them? There are other ways of doing that, and that's how I'll do it. Nobody needs to know that Alexis is a drug-crazed sex hungry businesswoman. Nobody needs to know that she fucked all kinds in our bed whilst I was working my ass off. Nobody needs to know how humiliated I felt in my own home as I sat watching that footage. Nobody.

I can still remember that day like it has just happened. I didn't know what to expect when I hit play on the system, but it certainly wasn't what my eyes witnessed. I never for one-second thought I would watch my then girlfriend snorting a line of cocaine from another woman's naked body. And certainly not whilst another woman was making my then girlfriend feel good from behind whilst another was beneath her. Honestly, it was like a badly made porn movie, except it was in my home. The home I shared with the woman I loved. The home I had bought and built myself. The home I hosted family dinner parties in. The home I felt safe and loved in. _My home._

I think the thing that hurt the most was the framed picture on the nightstand that was there for everyone to see. Us, in Venice, and looking as happy as ever. Don't get me wrong, things weren't perfect between us, but that? Nothing could have prepared me for that. I think it was good that Alexis was away that weekend. It gave me the opportunity to sort through my feelings. It gave me the opportunity to decide where I wanted to go from there. Did I call her out on it? Did I hope that it was just a one-time thing and it didn't happen again? It didn't matter what I thought…I couldn't bear to be in my own home any longer, so I left. I checked into a hotel and I desperately tried to erase what I'd seen from my mind.

Did it work? No. Did anything get any better between us? Also, no. I think we probably slept together once after that and then I called it a day. It wasn't the only reason why we split, and Eliza knows all about my genuine reasons for leaving her…but it played a massive part in my decision. After I'd thought about bringing it up, I decided against it. I'd decided against it because honestly, it wouldn't have made any difference to the outcome. It wouldn't have made me feel any better for relaying what I'd seen and it wouldn't have mattered what she had said to me in her defense. I mean, how do you defend yourself against that? It didn't just happen. It wasn't a mistake or a lack of judgment. She was taking that drug like she had been taking it for many many years. She was pleasing those women like she had done it many times before. And she probably had. Nothing would surprise me with Alexis after seeing that footage. Nothing.

Realising that I'm thinking way too much about this, I try to erase the thoughts and images from my head and glance down at my girlfriend. Smiling to myself, her eyes are closed and she is sleeping soundly against my chest. I love watching her sleep. For some reason, she makes me feel calm when she is sleeping. Her even breathing is a little mesmerizing and I know that when she is sleeping, she isn't hurting. Her happiness is the single most important thing to me because when Eliza is happy, I'm happy. I mean, how could I not be? When she's happy, she is just absolutely gorgeous. Everything about her is amazing, and happiness just makes her that little bit extra special.

I hate to do this, but yeah…I have to get up. My bladder is screaming at me right now. _I'm so sorry, baby._ Shifting my body out from beneath her, she groans and grips my hip. "Please don't go." One eye opening, I give her a sad smile and shift a little more.

"I will be back in two seconds…" Getting down to my knees, she relaxes her body and is comfortably face down on the couch. "You look so adorable right now." Running my thumb over her cheek, she gives me a small smile and I stand.

 _Adorable, and breathtakingly beautiful._

* * *

Settled on the floor in front of the fire, our pizza delivery has just arrived and tonight it's an eat out of the box kinda night. I'd usually do the whole plates and condiments thing, but I just don't have the energy. I'm tired of trying to be so proper all the time. So, yeah…I'm on the floor, lying on my stomach, in sweats and eating cheap pizza from the box. It's actually surprisingly good. Eliza suggested the place we ordered from, and I think I'll be doing it more often. "Thanks for dinner." I smile as I force another slice into my mouth. "It's good."

"For someone who is so particular about their food, you don't seem to care about it being on show in your mouth, huh?"

"Sorry," I mumble. Giving her an awkward smile, she simply shrugs and takes another huge bite from her own slice. Forcing it down my throat, I feel like I have a hangover. I guess it's just been that kinda day. The kinda day where nothing matters and anything goes. "When is Jo headed back?"

"She doesn't know yet." My girlfriend responds. "She was supposed to go with me last night but she wouldn't leave me."

"She's an awesome friend, Eliza."

"I know." She smiles. "I just hate her being alone in this city. She doesn't know anything…"

"Why don't you invite her here?" I ask.

"I need this night with you, Arizona. Jo understands that and I've promised to stop by tomorrow and plan some stuff with her. I want her to see New York before she leaves."

"Why does she have to leave?"

"Because she can't stay here forever." She laughs. "She has a job back home and her mom is there."

"Shame." I shrug. "I can see how much you enjoy having her around. I've enjoyed her company, too."

"Yeah, she definitely lightens the mood."

"Did she wonder if the rumors were true?" I ask.

"No." Eliza shakes her head and I give her a thankful smile. "Jo knows you better than anyone else in the general public, Arizona, and she was horrified when I told her what had happened."

"I'm glad I have you guys in my life." I smile. "Would you mind if I came along tomorrow?"

"I'd love you to spend the day with us." She nods. "Guess you have to go back out into the world at some point…"

"Yeah. I'm not looking forward to it, but I can't keep myself locked away forever." My girlfriend shifting a little closer to me, she presses a kiss below my ear and I hum in appreciation.

"I'll protect you." She whispers against my ear.

"I love you." My words falling from my lips, I think I mean it now more than ever. I know I've always loved her, but something about everything that's happened has given me this intense painful kind of love. It's a good love, but the thought of losing it ever again actually hurts me, physically. The thought of Eliza not being here with me like this breaks my heart. "I love you so much, Eliza."

"I love you, too." Pulling back a little, she knows I'm thinking about something. She can see it in my eyes. "What is it?"

"You say Jo loves what I do…"

"Yeah. Have you not noticed that, yet?" She laughs. "I mean, she is almost falling over you when she is around you."

"But is she a fan of me, or my work, Eliza? I mean, is she into architecture?"

"Yeah, she always has been." My girlfriend shrugs. "I always thought she was a little weird for it, but it's just her thing."

"Are you calling my profession weird, Miss Minnick?"

"N-No." She tries to backtrack a little but I give her a raised eyebrow and she drops her gaze. Currently sitting up on her elbows, I shift my foot a little and kick one arm from beneath her, her back now connecting with the rug beneath us. "Arizona!" She sequels. Straddling her legs, her hands immediately find the bare skin beneath my hoodie and her eyes close. "Don't start something you're not about to finish."

"Who said I was starting anything?" I give her a questioning look. "And who said I wouldn't finish it?"

"Okay, that doesn't even make sense." A laugh rumbling in her throat, I lean down and brace myself on my elbows.

"When I'm with you…nothing makes sense, Eliza." _It's true. Every moment I spend with her makes me feel like a lovesick teen._ "But that's a good thing."

"Your profession isn't weird." She states. "But a girl living in the pits of society in Detroit and loving what you do was always weird to me."

"But you applied for my assistant job." I furrow my brow.

"Because what I was assisting you in was irrelevant. I'm good at what I do, but that could have been any profession and I still would have applied." She smiles. "Thank God it was you sitting in that office the morning I walked in."

"Mm, the morning you walked in…" I smirk. "It was such a shame to discover you were wearing panties." I sigh. "I see you didn't do _that_ again, though, huh?"

"Boss's orders." She shrugs. "You told me to leave them at home, and that's exactly what I did." Pulling me down into a heated kiss, her fingertips graze around my sides and to my lower back. It's never felt so good kissing her as it does right now. Her warm needy lips on my own are sending my head into a spin, but I don't care…and she knows that. "Anything that makes you happy."

"You." I smile as I catch my breath. "You make me happy, Eliza."

"I never want to be away from you like that again." Her voice breaking, I cut her off with my lips and decide that now isn't the time for emotions. At least, not crying. Other emotions I can deal with, but I'm still a mess myself right now, so crying is off the table. Pulling back, I climb off of my girlfriend and kick the pizza boxes around us out of our path.

"Come on…" Taking her hands in my own, I pull her up to her feet and her body clashes with my own. "I'm taking you to bed."

"Oh." Her smile widening, my hand fists in her tee and I pull her backward. "To sleep, right?" She smirks.

"Oh, for _anything_ but sleep." I shake my head. "Your sex addict needs a little something to take the edge off, so…let's go and test your theory about leaving your panties at home."

"Mm…" She smiles. "I'm totally not wearing any."

"Ugh." My eyes rolling, I bite down on my bottom lip and force her into the bedroom. Her legs connecting with the edge of the bed, she falls down and my body comes to rest on top of her. "You've no idea what you do to me…"

"Oh, I think I have a pretty good idea."

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome as always.**


	46. Chapter 46

***NOT SAFE FOR WORK***

 **I own nothing. All characters/storylines belong to Shonda. I'm simply 'borrowing' them.**

* * *

Chapter Forty-Six

* * *

ELIZA'S POV

* * *

"Fuck…" Arizona's body writhing beneath me, it's taking everything I have inside of me right now to not just give in and give her exactly what she wants. I've been building her up repeatedly for the past hour, and every time she nears the edge, I lessen my movements. I know she is desperate for release and I know I'm just being cruel now, but it's not very often that I have the control. It's not very often that she completely gives herself to me but right now she is. Right now she is doing as I say, when I say, and how I say. "Eliza, I need to come." She moans as she tries to grind down against my hand. "Please, baby."

"You know…" Bracing myself on my forearms over her, I place a soft kiss on her jawline and pull back. "I found something in the nightstand when I was here alone the other night."

"Okay, this really isn't the time to hold a random conversation." She whines. "Just fuck me, Eliza."

"Oh, I plan to…don't you worry about that," I smirk. "The question is...how?"

"Right now, I don't care how. My body needs you, Eliza. It needs you and it _needs_ release." My hand disappearing towards the nightstand, I pull out a familiar looking harness and a piece of silicone that brings back some amazing memories. "Oh no." She laughs. "No way."

"What?" My brow furrowed, she's lost me…completely. "Why not?"

"I use _that_ on _you._ " She laughs. "Not the other way around."

"You mean…" My eyes widening, I shake my head. "You've never experienced _this?_ "

"N-No." She blushes a little. "I'm sorry if I led you to believe that I had." She looks…embarrassed?

"Hey." Dropping it to the bed beside us, I run my thumb across her cheek and she drops her gaze. "It doesn't matter. Forget I ever mentioned it. I just assumed you had, and for that I'm sorry." Trying to end this conversation as quickly as possible, my lips return to the skin of her neck and she moans in appreciation. My hand slipping back between our bodies, she's soaked. Soaked like never before.

"Wait." Gripping my wrist, my eyes find hers and she gives me a sad smile.

"I've killed the mood, haven't I?" I attempt to roll off of her but she keeps me in place.

"No." She sighs. "Just…I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"Making you believe that I was okay with it." She sighs. "It's not something I've ever been into."

"And that's perfectly fine." I smile. "If you're not into it, you're not into it." Placing a soft kiss on her lips, she smiles against my mouth and I run my tongue across her bottom lip. "I love you…"

"Use it." She moans as our centers connect.

"Um, maybe later." I breathe against her mouth. "I'm making you feel good right now."

"Use it on _me_ , Eliza." Her breath hitching as I force my hips down against her own, I pull back a little and study her face. "I want to do this with you."

"No, Arizona...you don't."

"I-I…"

"You just think that I feel bad now and you want to give me what you think I wanted."

"No, I want to do this with you." Her hands cupping my face, I find no sign of hesitation in her eyes. "And only ever you."

"Yeah?" A small smile appears on my face at the possibility of this happening. "You really mean that?"

"I do." She closes her eyes and I dip my hand between her legs. "You feel so good against me." Her words barely above a whisper, I climb from the bed and attach the harness securely around my waist. "Just…slow, okay?" Her eyes open and she watches me as I prepare myself.

"However you want it." I agree. "If you want me to stop, say the word and this will be gone, okay?" I've never seen her looking so vulnerable and fearful before. She knows I'd never do anything to hurt her, especially not physically…but she also knows that she can trust me. Her allowing me to do this only confirms the trust she has for me. I don't know how I feel about it, but I know that it only makes me love her more. Climbing back onto the bed, I sit up on my knees and shift a little closer to her. "I won't hurt you, Arizona."

"I know." She nods. Glancing down at the silicone hanging between my legs, she bites down on her bottom lip and squeezes her thighs together.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" I ask, a little uncertainty in my voice. My body now resting between her legs, she gives me a slight nod and runs her fingertips up my back. I love being in control, but if this isn't something she wants to do, she has to tell me. I don't want her to regret it after it happens, and I don't want to come out of this feeling like I've hurt her in any way. We have to be on the same page here. "Promise me, Arizona?"

"I promise." She breathes out as the head of the toy presses against her clit. "Mm…" Shifting a little beneath me, I'm worried that she is doing this because she thinks she has to.

"Arizona…" My worries evident in my tone of voice, her eyes find mine and my forehead rests against her own. "You don't have to do this…"

"Make me feel good, Eliza." Her words causing me to smile a little, I don't take my eyes off of her. Any signs of discomfort or fear and this thing is gone. Never to be seen again. Pressing soft kisses to her lips, our eyes are locked and I'm not sure I've ever felt this close to her. Right now, this is the very epitome of our relationship. It's pure love. Trust. Fear. It's everything that a relationship brings, and the fact that Arizona is about to let me do this with her is making me a little nervous too. I cannot let my nerves show. She is trusting me to make her feel good, and honestly, I've never even done this before. I have no idea what I'm doing, but I'm the one who suggested it so I'm the one who has to get this right.

Gathering her arousal in my hand, I coat the silicone and run the head up a down her length repeatedly. Her back arching a little as it presses against her clit, she releases one hell of a moan and I know she is ready. Maybe not for this, but she is ready to release. She has been ready since we fell into bed together. She is more than aroused right now, and I'm the one who did that to her. Not anybody else. Me. "Keep your eyes on me, beautiful."

Blue turning darker than ever, I run my tongue across her bottom lip before taking it between my teeth and sucking it into my mouth. Lining the head up with her entrance, I brace myself on my left arm and her face scrunches up a little as I slowly enter her. "You okay?"

"Mm…" She bites down on her bottom lip. Slipping in a little further, her breath catches in her throat and I freeze. Allowing her body a little time to adjust to the size, I dip my head and take a nipple between my teeth. I can feel her heart pounding and it both excites me for the possibility of this and worries me that I'm going to hurt her. "Eliza…" She breathes out. Her nails digging into my shoulders.

My eyes ghosting back up her body, she gives me the most adorable smile and I'm not even sure what to do with it. Is she asking me to stop? Does she want this? "Tell me what you need, baby…"

"M-More." She stutters as the toy moves a little inside of her. "I want more…" Her hand dropping from my shoulder, she hits a button that is built into the side of our bed and soft music plays out through the speakers placed strategically around our bedroom. _Real smooth._ My smile widening, she grips my hips and pushes me further inside of her. "Y-Yes." Her breath catching, she buries her head deeper into the pillow and I trail soft kisses down her neck.

 ** _What would I do without your smart mouth?_**

 ** _Drawing me in, and you kicking me out_**

 ** _You've got my head spinning, no kidding, I can't pin you down_**

 ** _What's going on in that beautiful mind_**

 ** _I'm on your magical mystery ride_**

 ** _And I'm so dizzy, don't know what hit me, but I'll be alright_**

 ** _My head's under water_**

 ** _But I'm breathing fine_**

 ** _You're crazy and I'm out of my mind_**

 ** _'Cause all of me_**

 ** _Loves all of you_**

 ** _Love your curves and all your edges_**

 ** _All your perfect imperfections_**

 ** _Give your all to me_**

 ** _I'll give my all to you_**

 ** _You're my end and my beginning_**

 ** _Even when I lose I'm winning_**

 ** _'Cause I give you all of me_**

 ** _And you give me all of you, oh-oh_**

My hips slowly but surely bucking into her, she breathlessly moans beneath me and I cannot take my eyes off of her. Everything about this moment is pure love and trust and my emotions are soon going to get the better of me. This means everything to me right now. She means the absolute world to me. "Arizona, breathe…" My forehead coming to rest against her own, the sound of sex fills our bedroom and in this moment, I know that no matter what we will face in the coming weeks, I will be by her side every step of the way. This is the real deal for me. This is it. Arizona is my life. Pushing in the rest of the way, I fill her more than ever before and her mouth hangs open. My lips reaching her ear, she wraps her leg around my waist and I know she wants a little more. I know she wants to really feel it. "You are so beautiful."

 ** _How many times do I have to tell you_**

 ** _Even when you're crying you're beautiful too_**

 ** _The world is beating you down, I'm around through every mood_**

 ** _You're my downfall, you're my muse_**

 ** _My worst distraction, my rhythm, and blues_**

 ** _I can't stop singing, it's ringing, in my head for you_**

 ** _My head's under water_**

 ** _But I'm breathing fine_**

 ** _You're crazy and I'm out of my mind_**

My hips picking up speed a little more, every thrust causes her breath to catch in her throat but I don't once take my eyes off of her. I want to be in this moment with her completely. She is my happiness. She is my priority. Making her feel good and making her feel loved is my sole purpose in life. Nothing else matters. "S-So good." She breathes against my lips. Matching my thrusts, I lace my right hand with her left and push it down into the pillow beside her head. My own body beginning to feel the burn and the ache, I've never felt such an intense experience. Sure, we have done this before and I was on the receiving end of it, but this is different. My experience in her Ferrari was nothing but pure lust and hot sex…this? this is so much more. This is her giving herself to me, completely. This is her saying that she is mine forever.

 ** _'Cause all of me_**

 ** _Loves all of you_**

 ** _Love your curves and all your edges_**

 ** _All your perfect imperfections_**

 ** _Give your all to me_**

 ** _I'll give my all to you_**

 ** _You're my end and my beginning_**

 ** _Even when I lose I'm winning_**

 ** _'Cause I give you all of me_**

 ** _And you give me all of you, oh-oh_**

 ** _Give me all of you_**

 ** _Cards on the table, we're both showing hearts_**

 ** _Risking it all, though it's hard_**

Cries of pleasure spilling from her lips with every buck of my hips, she takes my bottom lip between her teeth and pulls it into her mouth. Her breathing ragged, and her chest heaving, I pick up my pace a little more and it only encourages her cries and moans. Releasing my lip with a pop, she arches her back off of the bed and I know I've just hit her deeper than ever before. "Fuck…" Her hand gripping my own tighter, I can feel her body sucking me in further and it only spurs me on. She is loving this, and it makes me proud to know that I'm giving it to her. I'm making her feel unbelievably good. "H-Harder." Her tone pleading, I study her face and find nothing to suggest that she doesn't want this. I find nothing to suggest that she is simply playing along for my own pleasure. Doing as she asks, I fill her to the hilt and slowly pull almost completely out. Slamming home again, the moan she releases is like nothing I've ever heard in my life. I swear she just continues to surprise me every day. Taking my other hand in her own, she gives me a mischievous smile and flips us. Suddenly finding myself on my back, I glance up and find black eyes staring down at me. "You make me feel incredible." Glancing down her body, my mind is almost blown as I watch her lift a little, only to sink back down on the toy, taking it in its entirety. "And this?" She moans as she grinds down on it. "You've no idea." Her hips rolling against me, it presses against my own clit and honestly, it feels amazing. Being with her like this is amazing.

 ** _'Cause all of me_**

 ** _Loves all of you_**

 ** _Love your curves and all your edges_**

 ** _All your perfect imperfections_**

 ** _Give your all to me_**

 ** _I'll give my all to you_**

 ** _You're my end and my beginning_**

 ** _Even when I lose I'm winning_**

 ** _'Cause I give you all of me_**

 ** _And you give me all of you_**

 ** _I give you all of me_**

 ** _And you give me all of you, oh-oh_**

Watching as the toy disappears in and out of her, I'm not sure how much longer I can hold on. I can feel my orgasm building in the pit of my stomach, and right now, I could come just watching her. She is the most arousing person on this earth, and I have her grinding against me. I have her staring back at me whilst we make each other the best we've ever felt. Taking her nipple between her finger and thumb, I watch on in delight as she throws her head back on her shoulders and arches her back. "Fuck…" It's all I have to give her right now. I have no other words for this absolute goddess above me. I'm not sure I'll ever have words to describe her.

"Baby.." She whimpers as her legs shake a little. "I-I'm close." Her moan rippling through me, I sit up and wrap my left arm around her waist. Still riding me, I weave my right hand between her legs and press my thumb against her clit. Her breath disappearing, I take a nipple between my teeth and she tangles her fingers in my hair. "Fuck, Eliza." She gasps as I try to relieve her throbbing clit. "Don't stop. Oh, fuck…don't stop." Slamming down onto me, the bed creaks in protest and the air around us is filled with nothing but complete sex and love. "Y-Yes, shit." Rubbing vigorously against her aching and desperate bundle, her grip in my hair tightens, causing my eyes to find hers. Her lips pressing against my own, she sinks down once again and it causes my own orgasm to come crashing through my entire body. "Baby, I'm c-coming…fuck, I'm coming."

"Ride it out, gorgeous." My words spurring her on, she wraps her arm around my neck and pulls me in impossibly close. Her body shaking and shuddering against me, I buck my hips up against her own. "Take it, Arizona."

"I-I, fuck." A strangled cry ripping from her throat, I feel nothing but complete arousal covering my thighs. Her body slumping against my own, I fall back and she keeps a firm grip around my neck. "Eliza…" She whispers.

"It's okay, I've got you." Her body shaking, I remove my hand from between her legs and wrap my arms around her waist. The toy still sitting inside of her. "I've always got you." Her breathing still a little ragged, I run my fingers through her damp hair. Sweat covering our bodies, we mold into one and my heart is pounding out of my chest. "I love you, Arizona."

Pulling back, her eyes find mine and they're filled with unshed tears. "I love you, too." One slipping down her cheek, I kiss it away and she sighs against me. "I've never felt so unbelievably in love in my entire life…I just, God, I love you so much it hurts."

"A good hurt, though, right?" I smile.

"Always a good hurt." She agrees. Shifting a little, her throbbing walls force our toy out of her and she whimpers at the loss. "Fuck…" Falling onto her back, she places her hand over her forehead and releases a deep breath. "That was amazing…" Removing the harness, I throw it to the floor and focus my attention back on the woman who completely rocks my world.

" _You_ are amazing." Propping myself up on my elbow, I run my thumb across her bottom lip and her eyes close. "Everything about you, Arizona, and I'm never leaving again. I'm never not going to be here with you."

"Promise?" Her voice breaking, I pull her into my arms and she silently sobs into my chest.

"I promise, beautiful." Holding her tight, I allow her to just feel whatever she is feeling right now. If she needs to cry, she can cry. This woman will forever have my heart…no matter where we are. If we are together, or if there is distance between us…she is mine. I will never hurt her. She knows that. All of the fights and all of the fears only reinforce how I feel about her.

 _And right now, I have to tell the world how I feel about her. The world deserves to know just what kind of woman Arizona Robbins is…._

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome as always. I hope you enjoyed this one as much as I enjoyed writing it.**


	47. Chapter 47

**I own nothing. All characters/storylines belong to Shonda. I'm simply 'borrowing' them.**

* * *

Chapter Forty-Seven

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ARIZONA'S POV

* * *

Wow. That's all I've got. I'm at a loss as to how I feel this morning and it is all Eliza's doing. I mean, last night she had me on the edge more than once…but the outcome of her actions? Never in my life did I think I'd feel that way. Never in my life did I expect to do what we did, and enjoy it. Having said that, I know that whatever Eliza and I share together…it's always going to be amazing. It's always going to be mind-blowing. And boy did she deliver. She delivered and then some. It's never been something I've thought about doing. It's never even crossed my mind to try it. I was happy enough making her feel good in my Ferrari, but I never expected her to return the favor. Honestly, I was terrified when she pulled it from the nightstand, but now…now I feel on top of the fucking world and I don't care who knows. I don't care if I have to tell each individual person I know just how much I love my girlfriend… I totally will. I will…ten times over.

I'm standing in the kitchen right now, and I've no idea where Eliza has gone. She's left me a note saying she has gone to collect Jo, but she's been gone a few hours now. I've tried calling her, but all I'm getting is her voice mail. Maybe she's busy with Jo, I don't know. I just hope she is okay. I've no reason to believe that she's not, but still…I'm a little worried that she's been gone so long. Hitting the message tab, I figure there is no harm in sending her a quick message. It's been around forty minutes since I last tried calling, so maybe her cell service was just down.

 ** _Hey, so I'm a little worried that you haven't come home yet. Are you okay? Did you reach Jo's hotel? I love you. Arizona. Xx_**

Setting my cell down, I pour another coffee and breathe out a deep breath. I hoped I'd wake with my girlfriend this morning and thank her for last night, but I guess that talk will have to wait. It's no big deal, but I just wanted her to know I appreciate how supportive and gentle she was last night. It meant the absolute world to me. My cell buzzing against the counter, her name flashes up on my screen and my heart rate slowly returns to normal.

 ** _Hey, beautiful. Headed home now with Jo. Just had somewhere to be. I'm sorry for worrying you. I love you, too. Eliza. X_**

Oh, thank God. Knowing that she is okay means I can finally enjoy my third coffee of the morning. I'm not sure I need the coffee since I'm already flying pretty high this morning, but I'll take it anyway. I don't know what Eliza and Jo have in store for me today, so it's best to prepare for the worst. Moving towards the window seat, I glance out at the grey New York skies and smile to myself. Even the weather ain't getting me down today. Nothing is and I challenge anyone to test that. I challenge anyone to even attempt to interfere with my mood.

Taking a seat, I pull my knees up to my chest and wrap my hands around my coffee cup. I'm a little sore today, but it's a good sore. The way I see it, it's simply a reminder of the amazing night I spent with the woman of my dreams. No, scratch that…even the woman of my dreams never compared to Eliza and how she makes me feel. The woman of my dreams was mediocre compared to what I have in my life right now. Like, everything that has happened the past week or so isn't even important anymore. If I never get myself back to the top, it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter because I'm on cloud fucking nine and I suspect I always will be having Eliza by my side. I just wish that there was a way for me to put into words how she truly makes me feel. I can't, though. Every time I try to, I fail. It's indescribable.

The alarm system startling me a little, I narrow my eyes and find my girlfriend and her best friend standing behind the door. The lock beeping, she steps inside, her key in hand, and Jo is right behind her. "Hey, I'm sorry. I was just a little busy." She smiles as she approaches me. "So sorry. Good morning." Placing a soft kiss on my lips, I hum in appreciation and Jo stands awkwardly in the kitchen.

"Morning, baby." I smile. Switching my gaze to her best friend, I raise my eyebrow and she furrows her brow. "Don't I get a kiss from you too, Jo?"

"I-I, uh…I mean, I gue-"

"Ow!" Rubbing at my upper arm where Eliza has just punched me in it, I give her a pout and she shakes her head.

"Don't be so cruel, Arizona." Both of us laughing, Jo is still completely lost. "Jo, sit down…you're making me feel uncomfortable." Motioning for her friend to take a seat on the couch, Eliza moves into the kitchen and I stand.

"Hey." Stepping up behind her, I place my hand on her hip and she glances over her shoulder. "Could I speak to you for a minute?" Giving me a nod, I pull her out of the kitchen and towards the hallway leading to our bedroom. Glancing back at Jo, she stares at us both and I smile. "Jo, please excuse us for two minutes. Then I'll be back for _you._ " Throwing her a wink, her mouth falls open and a blush creeps onto her face. "Be ready…" Eliza dragging me down the hallway and into the bedroom, I can't help the laugh that erupts from my throat. "I'm sorry, I couldn't help that."

"No, clearly not." She rolls her eyes playfully. "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah." I furrow my brow. "Why wouldn't it be?"

"You asked to speak to me…"

"Oh." Giving her a smile, I wrap my arms around her waist and pull her into my body. "I just wanted to say thank you for last night."

"You are thanking me for sex?" She asks, confusion etched all over her face.

"No, I'm thanking you for making me feel so at ease. I'm thanking you for being so gentle." Pressing a kiss to her lips, she smiles against my mouth and releases a low moan. "I just…it was perfect, okay?"

"Thank you for trusting me." She smiles, her eyes a little glossy. "It meant the world to me, Arizona."

"I know, baby." Giving her a nod in agreement, I lace our fingers together and head back into the hall. "Me too."

* * *

We have all just enjoyed breakfast together, and Jo is a little more at ease now. Eliza made me apologize more than once for playing with her, but she just laughed it off. It's what I expected, honestly. I mean, Jo isn't exactly secretive about the fact that she is a mess around me, and I know it isn't because she finds me attractive, but I can have fun with the best of them when I want to. I mean, since I'm so happy today…why not bring fun Arizona out to play? It's not like I have to be professional or proper anytime soon, right?

My cell buzzing against the kitchen counter, I stand from the dining table and hit accept. "Hello?"

"Miss Robbins." A squeaky female voice replies. "Jocelyn from the McManus office."

"Oh, um…hi." I sigh. "Look, I know you've already pulled out of any future ventures with me, so I don't know why you are calling."

"No, Ma'am." She denies. "I'm under strict instruction from the man himself to inform you that work with resume on lot 729 Greenwich today and plans for the waterfront are being drawn up as we speak."

"Uh...okay?" Giving Eliza a look of confusion, I give her a shrug of the shoulders and clear my throat. "Can I ask _why_ the change of heart?"

"McManus says he is sorry for any trouble or inconvenience he has caused you and he looks forward to meeting with you in the coming weeks, so if you could have your people schedule an appointment, I can pass that onto him. Good day, Miss Robbins." The call ending, I glance down at my cell and find three emails waiting for me. Eliza and Jo talking amongst themselves, I clear my throat and they both glance up at me.

"Everything okay, beautiful?"

"I uh, I think so." I give my girlfriend a slight nod. "Could you guys excuse me for a few minutes?"

"Sure." They both say in unison.

Rushing off to my office, I close the door behind me and power up my computer. I don't know what is going on right now, but McManus was the first to call me and quit his contract with me. So, seriously…why the change of heart? Why is he suddenly back on board with my plans and ideas? My business?

Opening up my emails, I find two more business interests willing to come back and work with me, and honestly, I'm at a loss right now. There is no way Alexis has retracted what she said, and even if she did, the damage is already done. A third email from my mom, simply titled 'that girl is a keeper' catches my attention and I find a link attached. Furrowing my brow, I click the link and it directs me to a web page.

 **ARIZONA ROBBINS - THE TRUTH**

Okay, what the hell is going on? Scrolling through the page, I find it is from the same site that wrote the first interview and published it. I don't know what I'm about to find, but right now…I don't like it. I don't like any of this. It brings back bad feelings and bad memories.

 **You've contacted us today to give your opinion on Arizona Robbins. Can you shed some light on how she is feeling since her ex-girlfriend outed her and her addiction?**

First of all, Alexis Santiago didn't out Arizona or any addiction she doesn't have. It's hard to out someone and their issues when it's nothing but lies.

 **You believe that to be the truth, but in what capacity are you qualified to have that opinion?**

Qualified? I wouldn't call being her girlfriend a qualification but okay. Miss Santiago has spread nothing but lies about my girlfriend, and yes, she has ruined her reputation, but Arizona is stronger than that. Arizona is strong enough to deal with anything that is thrown her way. Not only has Miss Santiago turned people against her, she has spread these lies and knowing she is powerful enough in her industry, people have believed what she has had to say. I understand that it's easy to do, but that's why I'm here today to put everyone straight.

 **And what do you believe the truth to be…**

I don't believe it to be anything. It is truth. It is fact. Make of it what you will, but anyone who truly knows Arizona Robbins knows that she is anything but those things that Alexis Santiago has accused her of being.

 **You claim to be her girlfriend but we haven't seen the two of you out. Why is that?**

Because our relationship doesn't need to be followed by the media. We don't need that attention on us for people to know how much we love and care for each other. So long as we know the truth, nobody else matters. Alexis may have needed that, but I don't. Quite frankly, I never will. The idea of paparazzi in my face and following me around in my daily life doesn't sit well with me, and Arizona feels the same. So, that is why you haven't seen or heard of me. Our life is private. Our relationship is private. I'd appreciate it if it stayed that way.

 **Can you give us an insight into Miss Robbins' life?**

I can and I'd be more than happy to. Not only is Arizona a very private person, she is a kind-hearted person too. You all know how much she puts back into the community and other projects around the world, so I don't need to sit here and tell you how much she cares about people. What I will tell you, though, is that my girlfriend has a heart of absolute gold. Nothing is too much for her, and no one is a burden to her. She welcomes everyone into her life like she has known them forever, and even when she is unsure about someone, she will always give them the benefit of the doubt. She will always go above and beyond to make people feel welcome and she doesn't judge. I may have only known her for near on six months, but in that time, I've come to know everything there is to know about her. Not once has she ever even suggested that she has or would take drugs, and no, she doesn't sleep around. I can assure you and everyone else who will read this of that. I don't know why Alexis has felt the need to come out and say the things she has, but I have my own suspicions and reasons. I will keep them to myself since I'm not the kind of person who would slander another through the media. Anything I have to say to her can be said during a face to face meeting should she wish to have one.

Arizona is the woman I see the rest of my life with. She is the woman I want to raise my children with. The woman I want to call my wife. The woman I want to take my last breath with. She is the very definition of everything anyone could want in their lives, and nobody will spread humiliating rumors that have no foundation whatsoever. Not whilst I'm in her life.

 **So, Arizona has never shown any signs of addiction?**

No. None whatsoever. She barely even drinks alcohol.

 **How do you feel by what Alexis Santiago has had to say about your girlfriend?**

Honestly? Saddened. This has nothing to do with me, and I don't care very much for her, but she has hurt Arizona and she has dragged her name through the media unnecessarily. Arizona always thought of her as a friend and to have that so-called friend do what they have done, of course, it hurts. Alexis hasn't hurt me with her words because I know the truth, but she has hurt my girlfriend and that doesn't sit well with me at all. Whether she has done this through jealousy, or just because she is that kind of person, I don't know. I don't know, and I don't care. What she said is wrong and completely untrue. She, herself, knows that.

 **Do you have anything to say to Alexis Santiago?**

Not really, no. She isn't any of my concern and if I never have to deal with her again, that will be a great result for me. What I will say, though, and this is to anyone out there who believes her lies or plans to hurt my girlfriend… Arizona is a better person than any of you will ever be. Not only has she provided you with work and commitment, she has brought your names and your companies up to her level and she has never once let any of you down. If you want to believe Alexis Santiago, that is your decision, but don't think that she won't forget what you have done to her. Whether it is to decline her work, pull out of her business, or just believe the lies, she will NEVER forget. I also challenge anyone, anywhere in this world to show me proof of these lies. I don't expect to hear from anyone anytime soon where it is concerned.

Also, people should remember that hurtful words and rumors often come back to haunt them. Alexis Santiago would do well to remember that. ******

Sitting back in my seat, I take in the words I've just read on my screen and a small smile tugs at the side of my mouth. I cannot believe Eliza has just gone out there and defended me publicly like that. How do I feel? I don't know. I really don't. I never expected this from her. I mean, I know she said she was by my side throughout all of this, but still…an interview in a magazine is not what I expected. Her words are already having an impact on my reputation but I'm not sure she even knows that yet.

Powering off my computer, I remove my glasses and step out of my office. I need to see her. I need to thank her. I just need her. I need everything about her. Everything that she is. Reaching the kitchen, I glance over at Eliza and her best friend and they are laughing uncontrollably with each other. Moving further into the room, I just take a minute to watch the happiness radiating from her. It's addictive. Her head thrown back as she holds onto her stomach, I can't help but smile. She always makes me smile. "Hey…" Breaking them both from their private conversation, Jo's head shoots up and her laughing stops immediately. "Whoa, don't give that up. I was just letting you guys know I was back."

Standing and making her way over to me, Eliza furrows her brow and I give her a dimpled smile. "Is everything okay?" She asks.

"Freaking amazing." I smile.

"O...kay."

"Thank you." Pulling her into my arms, I force her body back against the counter and place a soft kiss on her lips. I don't even care that Jo is in the room right now. "Thank you for everything. For just being you and for loving me like you do."

"You saw the interview." She narrows her eyes and I give her a nod. "I thought I'd overstepped." Placing her hand over her chest, she breathes a sigh of relief. "I thought I'd done the wrong thing when I was walking home."

"No." I run my thumb across her cheek. "You could never do the wrong thing. You supported me. You protected me. You showed the world that you have my back. For that, I love you even more than I did ten minutes ago."

"So, it was a good thing?" She raises her eyebrow.

"A very good thing." I smile. "Now, can I talk to Jo?"

"Why? Do you want me to ask her to leave?"

"What? No." Laughing, I shake my head and move into the living room. "Jo, do you have a few minutes?"

"Guess so, yeah." She shrugs. "Wait, is this another game…" She narrows her eyes.

"No." I smile. "This is business."

"Um, business?" She switches her gaze between Eliza and myself and my girlfriend simply shrugs her shoulders. "What business?"

"I'd like to offer you a training program," I state as I take a seat beside her. "I understand that you have things to go home and take care of, but that's okay. There is no immediate rush to have you on my team."

"I would love to take you up on your offer, Arizona, but I just cannot afford to pack up and move to New York."

"Oh, no." I shake my head. "You will be paid as an employee whilst you are trained up. You won't have to worry about the financial side of things."

"Um…" Her face filled with total shock, Eliza laughs and moves towards her friend. "I-I…"

"Take some time to think about it, Jo. Like Arizona said…there is no rush to decide anything right now."

"But I don't know anyone here." She drops her gaze. "What if I fail?" She asks.

"What if you succeed?" I counter.

"Yeah…" She breathes out. "What if."

"Look, I'm not pressuring you into it, Jo. I just figured since it was why you'd always wanted to do, I would give you the opportunity to do something that makes you happy."

"I'd love to, but can I just take a few days to sort through some things? Tell my mom?"

"Of course." I smile. "Take all the time you need. We ain't going anywhere…"

Thank you, Arizona." I thought she'd be a little happier, but right now she looks beyond shocked, so I don't expect her to be jumping up and down with excitement. _That will happen when she receives her first paycheck._

"Maybe you could take some time at home with your mom, and Eliza and I could take a look at some properties for you?"

"Properties?" She asks, her brow furrowed.

"Well, you will need somewhere to live." I laugh.

"Oh, right." She nods. "Sorry, can I just have some time for this to sink in? I think I need to lie down."

"Sure." Eliza smiles. "And if you want to take a while to yourself in the guest room, it's just down the hall."

"Would that be okay?" She asks. " I just need a few minutes to myself."

"Help yourself to anything you need," I say as I stand and direct her to our guest room. "Sorry if I've freaked you out a little."

"N-No, you haven't." She sighs. "Just a little overwhelmed right now."

Giving her a nod, I leave her to gather her thoughts and move back into the living room with my girlfriend. She has some weird smile on her face and I can't decide what it is representing right now. "Hey…I think she's a little freaked right now."

"Do you have any idea how amazing you are?" She raises an eyebrow and pushes me down onto the couch. Straddling my legs, I rest back and simply look into those beautiful green eyes. "Seriously?"

"Oh, I think you are on par with me right now, beautiful." Throwing her a wink, she sits back on her knees and gives me the most adorable smile. "So, you want _me_ to be the one you call your wife, huh?" My eyes narrowing, a blush creeps onto my girlfriend's face and she shrugs a little.

"Of course, I do."

"Feeling is mutual, baby." Pulling her into my arms, she nuzzles her face into the side of my neck and inhales deeply. "Everything you said you wanted….I do too."

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. I haven't gotten around to the reviews from my last chapter yet, but it's next on my list.**

 **My next update will be Monday now. I have a weekend away coming up. Take care, guys. Reviews are welcome as always.**


	48. Chapter 48

**I own nothing. All characters/storylines belong to Shonda. I'm simply 'borrowing' them.**

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Chapter Forty-Eight

* * *

ELIZA'S POV

* * *

Shit, I'm late. I'm so late. Arizona left for the office around an hour ago and I said I was right behind her. Clearly, I wasn't. I'm just not prepared this morning at all, and I don't like it. Like, I feel as though it's just going to be a bad day all around. It's been almost a week since I put out the interview that somehow reversed Alexis and her words, and now it's full steam ahead at the office. The past four nights we've barely had the chance to sit for five minutes, and today isn't looking any better. My girlfriend doesn't bring work home very often, but that's how it looks as though it's going to be for the foreseeable. I'll do everything I can to help her, but her cell hasn't stopped ringing and her emails are pinging through by the hour. I'm happy that she is getting back into things, but I'd still like just an hour a night to hold her. Talk about our day. How we are feeling. Or even just silence between us. Silence is fine so long as I'm silently laying in her arms.

I was so fried last night that I headed off to bed before Arizona, and when I woke, she was handing me a coffee and walking out of the door, her cell buzzing in her hand as she went. Like, I miss her…even though she is right here with me. We spend the entire day and night together, but I've missed her these past few days. I know things will settle down soon, I just don't quite know when. After speaking to Jo again about my girlfriend's offer, she decided it would be best to head home to her mom and think things through. She is more than happy to take the job Arizona has offered her, she just wants to be sure she is making the right choice. I get it, though. I remember how I felt when I moved to this amazing city. I remember feeling more than alone, and sometimes, I still do.

Stepping off the elevator, I make my way down the corridor and head for my girlfriend's office. The guys working outside seem pretty quiet right now, and I'm not quite sure how I should take that. Silence around here can mean one of two things…either Arizona is on the warpath and they've already felt her force this morning, or they're happily working away and doing what they do best. Gaining a smile from Lucie, I stop at her desk and give her a knowing look. "Everything okay around here this morning?"

"Sure." She nods. "At least, I think so…"

"Awesome." Stepping away from Lucie's desk, she stands and stops me. "What's up?"

"We're all headed out tonight. I was wondering if you wanted to come along, too?" _I'd actually love to._ Giving her a sad smile, she rolls her eyes. "You can't, right?"

"Right now, no," I state. "I'll see what I get through today, though, and let you know before the day is out, okay?"

"Sure." She breathes out. "You know, I'm really happy for you guys, but you deserve a break, too, Eliza. It's only one night with friends. Just…think about it?"

"I said I'd let you know, and I will, Lucie." My hand placed on the door handle, I turn it and step inside Arizona's office. Glancing around, I find papers and plans everywhere and she looks a little flustered. "Hey, sorry I'm late."

"Don't worry about it." Without even looking up, she waves off my comment and concentrates on the work in front of her. _Nothing has changed then, huh?_ Setting my purse down at the side of my desk, I slump down in my seat and power up my computer. "I have a meeting in an hour." She states as she marks up a blueprint in front of her. "You can handle things here, right?"

"Sure, yeah." My tone isn't overly convincing, but I'm feeling a little burnt out today. _Maybe I will head out tonight with the guys from here._ "Just tell me what you need me to do, and I'll do it."

"Thanks." Removing her glasses, she throws them down onto her desk and releases a deep breath. Pinching the bridge of her nose, I furrow my brow and watch her.

"Everything okay?"

"Mm." She nods. "Headache." Removing myself from my seat, I close the distance between us and step up behind my girlfriend. Running my hands over her shoulders, I slip her blazer from her body and place it over the back of her chair. "What are you doing?" She asks.

"Trying to help you out a little." I shrug. "Just relax." My thumbs working her tense muscles, she clears her throat and straightens her shoulders out a little. Brushing her hair away from the side of her neck, I lean down and place a soft kiss below her ear. "I missed you this morning."

"If you weren't late, you'd have spent time with me already." Sighing, she stretches her neck out and I continue my movements.

"I said I was sorry." I roll my eyes behind her back.

"What do you need?" I ask. I know I'm not exactly capable of being a second Arizona Robbins, but I'll try and help her out wherever I can. If she needs me to take a look at something she may have missed, I can do that. I'm not sure how much use I'll be, but I can still try, I guess.

"Not this." Shrugging my hands from her shoulders, I drop them and furrow my brow.

"Um…"

"I don't need massages, or whatever they lead to, Eliza. I just need to get this finished up." Slipping her glasses back on, she focuses on the blueprint in front of her and I remain in my spot, a little shocked if I'm being honest. "Just...do whatever it is you have to do. I'm fine."

"Right." Deciding to say no more about her attitude or her behavior, I round her desk and head back to my own. "Is there anywhere, in particular, you would like to me to start, Miss. Robbins?" I know I'm being a smart ass, but if she wants just an assistant for the day…then that is what she will get.

"Excuse me?" Glancing up over the rim of her glasses, I turn away from her and log onto my account.

"I asked if there was anything you wanted doing first?"

"No, you know what you are doing. I trust your judgment."

"Awesome." I smile. "Can I get you a coffee for that headache, or?"

"No, I'll grab one whilst I'm out." My eyes find hers and she gives me a slight smile. "I'll be a few hours."

"No problem." I shrug. "I'm going out tonight so I don't know if I'll see you…"

"Oh." She furrows her brow. "I didn't realize."

"Only just made the arrangements really." Settling back in my seat, I click through some files and bring up what needs immediate attention. "I guess you'll be crazy busy at home anyway, so I didn't think it mattered."

"No, of course." She smiles. "Enjoy yourself." I can see her mind working through what I've just said, but Lucie is right. I do deserve a night off every once in a while. Arizona is clearly still full of work commitments so tonight would only be the same as the past few nights. Me sitting alone while she works in her office. Phone calls to Hong Kong and London or wherever she is calling tonight. I'm not needed, so I may as well make full use of the night. Besides, it will be good to catch up with a few people and get to know others a little better since I'm sticking around this place. Her computer powering down, she stands and folds the blueprint she's been working on. Grabbing her purse, her heels hit the hardwood flooring and I continue with what I'm doing. "I should head out…"

"Okay." Glancing over my shoulder, I give her a small smile. "Do I get a kiss before you leave or am I really just the assistant today?"

"Okay, what's wrong?" Dropping her purse down on the couch, she places her hands on her hips. "What have I done?"

"Oh, nothing." I laugh. "I get it. You're stressed." I may as well say it for her since it's what she will come back with anyway.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" She throws her hands up.

"It doesn't mean anything." I sigh. "You are stressed so you have an attitude."

"Um, I don't have an attitude." She scoffs. "Just because I asked you not to start something we cannot finish right now doesn't mean I have an attitude."

"What was I starting?" My brow furrowed, she gives me a knowing look but I'm completely lost.

"You know what…" She states. Shaking her head, she lifts her purse from the couch and shrugs it up onto her shoulder. "Sometimes it gets a little crazy around here, so yeah...I am stressed. But sex doesn't fix everything, Eliza. I don't have time for that right now and I don't have time to argue with you."

Hurt by her comment, I give her a sad smile and try to hold back my emotions. It wasn't my intention to try and drag her away from her work for sex. I know how busy she is and I know that I have a job to do. I was just trying to make her feel a little better. I had no intention of having my way with her. It was never even on my mind. "Right yeah." I nod. "I'm sorry." Dropping my gaze, I focus on the screen in front of me and clear my throat a little hoping that it will remove the lump that has settled there. "Hope your meeting goes okay and that headache clears up."

"Eliza…" She sighs as I hear her stepping a little closer to me. "Just...I'm really busy right now."

"Oh, I know."

"Please look at me?" She begs. I can't. If I do, she will know I'm crying. I really don't need her to be here right now. I don't need the talking down to. "Baby?"

Her hand placed on my shoulder, I shake my head. "Don't."

"Eliza, I really have to go."

"So...go," I state. "I'll just see you at home." Giving my shoulder a squeeze, she steps away from me and her office door opens. Once closed, I sit back in my seat and release a deep breath. I really am hurt by her words, but she doesn't believe she has done anything wrong. I'm not even arguing about it…it's pathetic. I was trying to make her feel a little better, and that's the end of it. If she wants to believe that I had an ulterior motive, that is Arizona's decision. I'll finish my work, and I'm out of here. I've already spent three late nights here this week, so tonight…it's mine. The night is completely mine.

* * *

Slipping my dress up my body, I fix it in place and straighten myself out a little. I'm looking pretty great tonight and I'm actually looking forward to getting out and hitting the town. I just need to wind down and let loose a little. Everyone deserves to do that once in a while, right? I've not spoken to my girlfriend much since she left for her meeting this afternoon, but the office is still standing and everything was running smoothly when I left.

I'm meeting Lucie and the rest of the office in the next thirty minutes and I'm still yet to see Arizona. I'd hoped she would be home by the time I was leaving, but she's still busy and I'm still hurt by her words. Maybe her not being here is for the best. Lucie suggested 'our boss' come along for drinks, too, and I'd thought about asking Arizona, but I know how busy she is and I know she doesn't mix with her staff after work. Me being the exception.

Slipping my heels on, I head out down the hallway and into the kitchen. Grabbing my cell from the kitchen counter, I hit the message tab and send my girlfriend a message. I'm not entirely sure where she is, but I suspect she may be avoiding me.

 ** _I'm headed out in a few minutes. Are you coming home soon? Eliza x_**

Throwing my cell into my purse, I check I have everything I need and pace the floor for a few minutes. Do I wait until she comes home before leaving? Do I just leave her a note? I don't like this uncertainty about how we are, but I have plans and I don't like to let people down at the last minute.

Deciding that I'm not hanging around any longer, I grab my purse and head for the door. Doing a final take in the mirror, the door beeps and in walks my girlfriend. "Wow." She breathes out.

"Wow, what?" I furrow my brow.

"You look amazing…"

"Oh, thanks." I smile and drop my gaze. "I, uh…I have to get going."

"Yeah." She sighs. "I'm sorry I'm so late." I can see the honesty in her eyes, but I'm still not happy with her attitude this morning.

"That's okay." I shrug. "I know you're busy."

"But I shouldn't be too busy for you." Taking my hand in her own, she steps a little closer and drops her purse. "I'm sorry, okay?"

"Okay."

"No, I mean it, Eliza." Her blue eyes piercing through my soul, she has unshed tears in them. "I don't want you to think that I was rejecting you earlier. It wasn't like that."

"I didn't feel rejected, Arizona." I sigh. "I didn't feel rejected because I wasn't _trying_ to get into your pants."

"O-Oh." Dropping her gaze, I release my grip from her hand and step around her.

"I'm a little hurt that you thought it was my intention if I'm being completely honest." Pulling my purse up onto my shoulder, she gives me a nod in agreement. "I'm not just there to make you feel good with sex, Arizona, and I thought you knew that. I know you are stressed and I know you have been working your ass off, but I just wanted to help you relax today. I could see how tense you were. I could see how fried you were, so I just wanted to try and ease it all a little. I'm sorry if you thought I just wanted your body…but it really wasn't like that." Heading for the door, I pull it open and step out onto the landing.

"I'm so sorry, Eliza."

"I know." I smile. "Just get some rest, okay? I don't like seeing you under this amount of pressure. It's hard." The elevator doors opening, I step inside and hit the button that will take me to the lobby. "I'll see you later if you aren't sleeping."

"I love you." Her words desperate, I know she is sorry. She just needs a little time to unwind, and I think maybe she should do that alone.

"I love you, too."

* * *

Heading back to our table, I set a round of drinks down and return to my seat. It's been a great night so far and it's still pretty early. I haven't heard anything from my girlfriend since I left the condo a few hours ago, and I'm assuming she is sleeping. I don't want to call her and wake her, so I've silenced my cell and I'm checking it every so often. I know she is under pressure and I know she is completely drained, but I'm supposed to be the one she turns to when she is feeling this way. I'm the one who is supposed to try and help her out. If giving her a shoulder rub can be assumed to be sex, I don't know what I'm supposed to do. Are we really _that_ sexual that she thinks it's all we do? Honestly, I'd never thought about it that way, and I still don't see the problem, but her comment has made me think about things, and maybe she does think it's too much. Maybe she is tired of it. I don't know. Her comment came from somewhere, so yeah….it's becoming a problem.

I don't want her to think that we are only about that. I don't want her to think that if neither of us is getting some it's a problem. It's not. Maybe we need to have a discussion about it. Maybe we need to just relax and sleep and not get too close. I don't know. I've been in and out of my thoughts all night, and I feel a little distant right now. Everyone is talking around me, but I'm not hearing everything. I'm smiling and agreeing and laughing, but other than that…I wouldn't have a clue what the conversation was even about. Deciding to pull myself from my own thoughts so I don't seem ignorant, I lean in a little and try to catch up.

Numerous conversations going on at once, Lucie recognizes the look of confusion on my face and turns my way. "Don't worry…I can't keep up either."

"Thank God, I'm not the only one." I laugh. "Thanks for inviting me tonight."

"You're one of us, so you should be here." She shrugs. "And you work harder than anyone else."

"I have zero energy left, Lucie." Sighing, I sit back in my seat and our own conversation starts. "I love my job, but wow…this week has been tough."

"Yeah, it does get like that sometimes. It always settles down… eventually."

"How soon is eventually?" I whine. "I swear, my body is running on empty right now."

"Just don't worry, okay?" She gives me a sympathetic smile. "We've all been there. At least she takes it easy on you."

"Oh, I don't think so." I shake my head as I knock back a tequila shot. "I don't get any special treatment. Trust me."

"Mm, tell that to my eyes when your mom stormed into the office that day." Throwing me a wink, I roll my eyes and laugh. "So, yeah...we know all about your special treatment."

"I can promise you all…it really isn't like that." Toying with my cocktail, Lucie nudges my shoulder and I know she is only playing. "This week has been really hard. Even once we've left the office…the work has continued at home. Arizona doesn't stop just because she isn't sitting behind that desk."

"I know. We all do." She gives an appreciative smile. "Must be nice, though, huh?"

"Which?" I furrow my brow.

"Living with the boss…" She shrugs.

"I'm not just living with her for the sake of it, Lucie." Studying her face, she narrows her eyes. "I'm not."

"You really love her, huh?"

"I do." I give her a nod in agreement. "I didn't put that interview out last week to keep my place at her condo. I can assure you of that."

"I just didn't realize you guys were so serious…"

"Well, we are." Giving her a genuine smile, I get the impression she is trying to get as much out of me as possible, but I have no dirt on my girlfriend. I wish people would realize Arizona just isn't that way. "What did you believe when you read that interview from Alexis?"

"Honestly, if anyone else had said it…I probably would have believed it, but this is Alexis we are talking about, and we all know what an absolute bitch she is."

"Mmhmm…" I nod as I sip on my drink. "I'll drink to that." Glancing over towards the door, I catch sight of blonde hair and it's hair I'd recognize anywhere in this world. _What is she doing here?_ Standing, I can see my girlfriend looking for me, and I wave her over to our table.

"Hey…" Her eyes a little tired, she gives me a small smile and closes the distance between us.

"What are you doing here?" I ask.

"Sorry, I just…I thought we could grab a drink but I can go." She drops her gaze and backs away a little. "I should have called first, but I thought you'd ignore me so I figured I'd just show up."

Tugging at her wrist, I pull her closer to me and away from our table. "Why would I ignore you?"

"Because you're still mad at me." She states. "I'll just see you in the morning. I'll head home to bed. I'm sorry I interrupted your night."

"No, stay."

"Eliza, it's okay." She smiles. "I know I've neglected us this week, and I thought coming here would qualify as us spending some time together, but you are with your friends…"

"They're your friends, too." I smile.

"No." She shakes her head. "They're my staff. That's two totally different things. Ask any of them, I'm pretty sure they don't want their boss drinking with them."

"Come on, I'll get us another table." Pulling her through the bar, she stops us. "Arizona…"

"Why are you here with Lucie?" Her brow furrowed, I raise an eyebrow. "Why?"

"Please tell me you aren't about to insinuate that I'm here with _only_ her."

"No, but I didn't know she would be here…just wondered why you didn't tell me?" She shrugs as she slips into a booth.

"First of all, I'm going to get us both some drinks, and secondly, I'm not even going to answer that." Stepping away from her, I make my way to the bar and Lucie gives me a questioning look. Throwing my thumb over my shoulder towards Arizona, she glances over at her and gives me a nod in understanding. Ordering some drinks, I wait for my order and check Arizona out. She is beyond tired so I know she is a probably a little paranoid and not thinking straight.

Thanking the bartender for our drinks, I weave through the crowd and settle down facing my girlfriend. "Why aren't you sleeping?" I ask.

"I felt bad about earlier. I needed to see you."

"You should have just called me." I give her a sad smile and reach out for her hand.

"You don't want me to be here, do you?" She sighs as she runs her fingers through her hair. "I should go. I'm totally ruining your night."

"No, you're not," I respond. "You should be relaxing, is all. You're burnt out, Arizona."

"I'm okay, Eliza." She rolls her eyes. "I'm used to this. I just don't usually have someone at home waiting for me when I'm running myself ragged."

"Maybe we could head home?"

"No, you are enjoying yourself." She smiles. "I'll just have one and let you get back to your friends."

"Actually, I'd rather be at home with you, but I thought you would be busy tonight and I was mad at you earlier, so I agreed to this night out."

"So, I pushed you away because I was too obsessed with that fucking office." Knocking back her drink, she stands and straightens herself out.

"Arizona, will you stop being so hard on yourself, please?" Slipping out of the booth, I take her hand in my own and her shoulders slump. "Come on, I'm taking you home."

"You don't have to do that." She sighs. "I can walk alone."

"My girlfriend is not walking home alone." I scoff. Pulling her through the crowd, I say goodbye to the guys I was drinking with and head for the exit. I wasn't lying when I told Arizona I'd purposely agreed to this night because of her crazy life right now. I would totally rather be in my pajamas and lying with her. I'd always rather be doing that. Tightening my grip on her hand, I pull her body into my own and she places her head on my upper arm. We are only a few minutes from home so we don't have far to walk. I don't like that she walked here alone, but she won't be going back alone. No way.

Honestly, she needs a good twelve hours sleep and a day off, but I'm not sure she would be willing to take me up on that idea right now. I don't want her to go too far. I don't want her to run herself down. It won't help anything and it won't help her business. She knows she can work from home, and in my opinion, I believe she works better from home when she is tired like this. She doesn't seem so stressed when she is in her sweats and sprawled out on the floor in front of the fireplace with her paperwork, but that is just my opinion. She may see it differently.

Her silence is making me feel a little uncomfortable right now, but I want to wait until we get home before we even attempt to talk about how she is feeling. I know she isn't feeling herself, that's for sure. "Eliza…" Her voice breaking, she stops in the street and turns to face me. "I'm so sorry for how I've treated you this week."

"No, don't do that." I stop her from saying any more. "And please, don't be upset. We will talk when we get inside, okay?"

"Okay." Continuing on up the street, we round the corner and our condo comes into sight. A little while longer, and everything will be okay.

* * *

Headed out of the bedroom and finally, in my sweats, I reach the kitchen and pull out a bottle of wine. Arizona is sitting on the couch looking like a child who is about to be chastised, but that's not what this is. It's not how it's going to go. I just want to talk to her. I want to know how she is feeling, because honestly...she looks like she is close to having a breakdown right now. Pulling two glasses from the cupboard, I head for the living room and set the glasses and wine bottle down on the coffee table. "Hey…" I smile.

"Hi." Glancing up at me, her eyes are barely open. I hate seeing her like this. "You didn't have to come home with me. That's not why I turned up at the bar."

"I know, but I wanted to." Taking a seat beside her, I pour two glasses of wine and hand one over to my girlfriend. "Here…this and then it's bed for you."

"I feel awful, Eliza." Her eyes finding mine, I can see her apology radiating from deep blue. "I was a complete bitch to you today, and you didn't deserve that."

"No, I didn't, but you are working yourself too hard."

"I'm trying to get back to the top Eliza. Where I belong."

"And I want you back up there just as much as you do. You have to believe that." Taking her hand in my own, she turns to face me. "Arizona, those people who disappeared only to come crawling back love you for you and your work. You don't have to prove yourself to them. They know exactly who you are and what you are about. They are the ones who made a mistake in walking away, so why should you be the one to jump at them? Why should you be the one to give them everything they want right now? Right this second? I know how hard you work, and I know that you give everything you've got, but look at you…you are barely functioning right now. I've never seen you like this."

"It will settle down soon." She sighs.

"No." I smile. "It will settle down when you take a small step back."

"I can't take a step back, Eliza. This is who I am."

"I know exactly who you are and I love you for it, but I cannot watch you run yourself straight into the ground. I'm sorry but I won't allow it."

"So, what?"

"So, you take the day off tomorrow. Recharge." I shrug. "Then, for the rest of the week, you work from home. You take it at your pace. Those people aren't going anywhere…"

"How do you know?" She asks, her brow furrowed.

"Because you are the best there is."

"That's sweet, but it doesn't always work that way." She sighs.

"Okay, so why have they come back to you if it doesn't work that way?" I raise an eyebrow. "I'll take all of your calls and respond to any emails tomorrow. You are going to just relax and do nothing. Sure, it will be hard for you, but you just need a day, okay?"

"I'll see how I feel in the morning." She shrugs.

"Wrong answer." I smile. "Please, just do this for me."

"I'm scared." Her sudden admission catching me off guard, I narrow my eyes and study her face. "I'm scared that you'll see just how intense this job and my career can be, and you won't stick around."

"You are joking, right?" A slight laugh erupting from my throat, she drops her gaze and shakes her head. "Y-You're serious?"

"I am." She nods. "Look at how I spoke to you today."

"You were having a bad day," I reply. Yes, I was hurt by what she said, but I can see just how terrible she feels tonight. "We all have bad days, Arizona."

"I'm worried that I can't give you the time and the commitment you deserve." She cries. "I'm worried that you will move on and find someone else who can truly give you what you need."

"Where has this come from?" I ask, my heart breaking for the woman sitting in front of me. "Why do you feel this way?"

"Because everything just seems too good to be true sometimes." Wiping away her tears, she finds my eyes and gives me a small smile. "You were just trying to make me feel better this morning, and I was short with you. I pushed you away."

"But we are okay now…"

"Until it all starts again." She scoffs. "Because it will."

"Arizona, I'm fully prepared to be here until the end." Bringing her hand up to my mouth, I place a soft kiss on her knuckles and she gives me a small smile. "I just want a little time with you at night, is all."

"I know." She nods. "I'm sorry I haven't been around this week. I mean, I have physically, but in this…with you…no. I haven't and I'm so sorry."

"Please stop apologizing." I shake my head. "I do have one question for you, though?"

"Sure…"

"Are we too intimate?" Swallowing hard, she drops her gaze and I lift it immediately. "Hey, I just wondered where your comment came from this morning…"

"I don't even know where it came from. I was just tired and busy, I guess."

"If it's too much, just say the word…"

"N-No." She stops me. "Being with you in any capacity will never be too much. Never, Eliza. Please don't ever think that."

"I'm happy to just be with you. Just like this. Us. Alone." I smile. "I don't need to sleep with you to know that we are together or to know that we are connected." Bringing her hand up to my chest, I place it against my heart. "I know exactly how I feel inside here."

"Please just give me some time to fix everything at the office and then I'm all yours." The pleading tone in her voice saddens me, but she knows I will give her all the time in the world. She knows I'd never walk away from her. "I promise to try harder. Harder than ever before."

"You are perfect how you are, Arizona…just, slow down a little, okay? I can't keep up." I laugh. "You know I'm always here for you, and I always will be. Sex or no sex, right?"

"Yeah…" She nods, a little embarrassment evident on her face. "I'll always want you, though, okay?"

"Let's just take it from here, huh? That starts with you taking your beautiful self off to bed…and _not_ setting your alarm." Standing, I pull her up to her feet and she wraps her arms around my waist.

"I don't know what I'd do without you, Eliza Minnick."

"Mm…" I smile as I press a soft kiss to her lips. "Me neither."

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome as always.**


	49. Chapter 49

**I own nothing. All characters/storylines belong to Shonda. I'm simply 'borrowing' them.**

* * *

Chapter Forty-Nine

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ARIZONA'S POV

* * *

Eliza is right. I need to slow down. If my clients want to work with me, they will. I'm not sending myself crazy for them, and I'm not willing to risk my relationship because of them, either. I mean, shouldn't I be questioning their commitment instead of bending over backward to please them? After all, they're the ones who walked away from me and my business. They're the ones who took Alexis' words and ran with it. So yeah…Eliza is right. I need to take this day to relax and clear my head because the way I behaved towards her yesterday is totally unacceptable. I knew it the second it happened in my office. I'm supposed to allow her to support me and help me through when things get a little tough…not push her away. Pushing her away is completely the wrong way to go about things.

All I seem to do lately is apologize. I don't know what's wrong with me. Maybe I'm trying too hard to make her happy when she doesn't need that. Maybe I'm trying too much to make her want me. I already know how she feels about me, so why am I doing that? Why am I doing too much to show her who I am? She knows who I am. She works for me, for God sake. She lives with me. We share a life together. Maybe everything just became too much, but that still doesn't make my behavior and my attitude towards her right. It doesn't make any of this right.

Sitting up in the middle of our bed, I glance at the clock and it's almost 11 am. I hadn't planned to sleep this long, but Eliza was against me setting the alarm last night. She's clearly been tiptoeing around all morning and making as little noise as possible because I never sleep this long. Seven is my kind of time, even if I don't have anywhere to be. How do I feel? Absolutely destroyed. My body. My mind. Just…everything is aching and tired. Like, I'm not sure what to even do with myself. Do I get dressed? Do I lounge around all day in my sweats? I'd rather not if it's all the same, but right now I don't have the energy to even think about it. Maybe I've slept too long, I don't know.

Swinging my legs over the edge of the bed, I stretch out my body and grab my robe from the floor. Last night I literally fell into bed, and I'm wearing nothing but a pair of panties. I wanted to hold my girlfriend last night, but she insisted on sleep and that happened within two minutes of my head hitting the pillow. I know she is just trying to help me wherever possible, but I still feel bad. I still feel awful for what I said to her yesterday. I mean, even if she had been trying to get into my pants at the office yesterday, who am I to turn her down like I did? She's my girlfriend. My partner. The love of my life. What makes it worse is that I even assumed it was what she was trying to do. I feel like a fool for even saying what I did to her. Sure, I didn't have time to get down and dirty with her, but I didn't have to insinuate that I didn't want her. I didn't have to go and tell her I didn't have time for her. I have all the time in the world for her, and I hope she knows that. I hope she can forgive me for what I said. Then I go and ask her why she was out with Lucie. Really, it's none of my business why she was out with her. They're supposed to be friends, so I have to let that go. They kissed…so what? Hell, even I've kissed her. Well, slept with her, so I'm hardly one to judge.

Fixing my robe around my body, I head out of the bedroom and my feet hit the cool flooring. The skies are a little dark today, so maybe Eliza's idea of me staying home was perfect. Stormy weather never encouraged anyone to go outside unless they really have to. I can hear her talking, and I'm assuming she is on the phone, so I quietly head into the kitchen and fresh coffee is ready and waiting for me. _Could she be any more prepared and amazing?_ Resting my elbows on the kitchen counter, I watch her as she rummages through a stack of papers on the dining table and mutters away to whoever she is talking a call from. "Yes, of course." She sighs. "Will all due respect, Mr. McManus, Miss Robbins is a very busy woman. I understand you want her input but she is out of the office today." Watching as she pinches the bridge of her nose, she's beginning to see what I see with that guy. "No, sir. She will not be available to return your call today. She isn't working. No. Of course. Yes." Rolling her eyes, I can see her jaw is clenched and I give her a sad smile. She doesn't even know I'm here, but I am…in the flesh, at least. "I will have her call you as soon as she becomes available. Goodbye." Ending the call, she throws her cell down and I clear my throat. "Shit, sorry…did I wake you?"

"No." I smile. "Coffee?"

"God, yes." She stands. "Let me get it."

"Sit down, Eliza. I've got it." Giving her a hard stare, she returns to her seat and slumps back in it. "How long have you been going?" I ask.

"Since 7 am." She sighs. "But everything is pretty much settled now."

"How?" I ask. "I mean, there was so much to do."

"I finished most of it whilst I was at the office yesterday." Shrugging, she returns to her computer screen. "Fixed the problem you were having with the Phillips blueprint yesterday, too, so that's ready to go ahead." _Okay, this woman is actually amazing._ "I just need you to sign it off and I can send a copy over to their office."

"Come here," I demand.

"Um, okay." She furrows her brow. Pushing her seat back, she stands and closes the distance between us. "I'm sorry if I overstepped. I just thought the less you had to do the better. I don't expect you to sign off on anything until you've checked it all over. I know I'm not an architect or a businesswoman. I was just trying to help. I'm sorry." _As much as I love the rambling…she needs to stop._ "It's probably all wrong, anyway."

Pulling her into my arms, I turn us both and trap her body between my own and the kitchen counter. "I trust you." My lips pressing against her own, I can feel her heart almost beating out of her chest. "Relax, Eliza. I appreciate what you have done for me." Finding those beautiful green eyes staring back at me, she gives me a small smile and my lips find hers again. Sensing a little resistance from my girlfriend, I pull back and furrow my brow. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." She sighs. "I just have some stuff to finish off."

"Oh, I'm sorry." Releasing her from my grip, I step back a little and pour our coffee. She seems a little off with me, but I thought we were okay. "Is everything okay between us?"

"Of course." She gives me a genuine smile and takes her coffee from the counter. "You should rest up for the day. The weather ain't so good anyway." Turning her back, she heads over to the seat she has spent the morning at and gets back to the work she has her attention firmly on.

"Can we spend some time together today?" I ask. My voice barely above a whisper. "If you can spare a few hours?"

"Sure. I'm almost finished up here." She agrees. "Was there anything else you wanted me to do?"

"No." I smile as I join her at the dining table. "I think you've done more than enough."

"When you go back to the office, everything is running as it should be…"

"You're amazing." I flash my dimples and she shrugs. "Hey...you are."

"I'm just doing my job, Arizona."

"I know that." I give her a nod in agreement. "But you're still amazing."

Silence falling between us, I shift a little closer to her and rest my head on her shoulder. I'm not quite sure how honest she was being with me before when I asked if we were okay, but I don't want to push her. I don't want today to include any fights. "I just have this last email to respond to and then I'll take a quick shower, okay?"

"Mm…" I nod as I sip on my coffee. "I could use a shower, too."

"Did you want to take one first?" She asks as she hits the keys beneath her fingers. "I don't mind…"

"Or we could just shower together?" I suggest.

"Oh, uh…" Clearing her throat, her fingers work faster than before. "I don't know how long I'll be with this email so you should probably just go ahead and start without me."

"But you just said you were finishing up here…" My brow furrowed, she glances my way and gives me a sad smile. "Huh?"

"Yeah, it just…I think it will take longer than I expected." _Well, if that's not a blow off, I don't know what is._ Feeling a little deflated, I place my cup down on the dining table and stand.

"Sure." Sighing, I head off towards the hall and glance back at my girlfriend. Sat chewing on her lip, she seems…nervous, maybe? I don't know what is on her mind, but I don't like that I've just been totally blown off by her. Sure, she's busy, but she's now making excuses for not showering with me. First, she all but pulls out of our kiss, and now she is refusing to get too close. I don't like that. I don't like it at all.

* * *

It's been a few hours since Eliza decided against showering with me, and it's been on my mind since it happened. I thought she would maybe come and join me at one point, but I was only left disappointed. I suspect she is feeling a little off with me since I told her sex doesn't solve everything yesterday, but it was said in the heat of the moment, and I didn't mean for her to feel this way about it. I mean, I'll always want her. I told her that last night. I guess it's just hurt her a little more than I'd imagined it would. Like, do I bring it into conversation? Do I just leave it and wait for it to blow over? I don't know what to do for the best. I really don't.

Rounding the back of the couch, she glances up at me and gives me a smile. "Hey, you okay?" She asks.

"Guess so…" I shrug. "You finished with whatever you were doing?"

"Yeah." Eliza smiles. "You will be less stressed when you go back to work, that's for sure."

"Thank you." Giving her a genuine smile, she waves off my comment and her eyes divert back to the TV. Flopping down beside her, I study her profile but she keeps her eyes fixed firmly on the TV. I know she knows I'm watching her. I can tell by the way her facial expression changes. I can tell by the slight twitch she gets below her left eye. "Are we going to talk, or?"

"About what?" She furrows her brow and glances my way.

"Why you are avoiding me? Avoiding us?" I raise an eyebrow. I'm not mad at her, far from it, actually. I just want to know how she is feeling is all. "Something is wrong…"

"Is it?" She gives me a look of complete confusion.

"Well, I think so, yeah…" Narrowing my eyes, she doesn't take her own off of me. "Come on, Eliza. You can't say that this morning wasn't weird."

"You've lost me." She shrugs. "I was working and you were sleeping. What's weird about that?"

"No, I'm talking about taking a shower." I sigh as I run my fingers through my hair. "Look, I know the comment I made yesterday hurt you, but I didn't mean anything by it." Giving her a knowing look, she drops her gaze and that right there tells me she is pissed about what I said. "Eliza, talk to me, please?"

"Just leave it, Arizona." She gives me a sad smile. "You are supposed to be taking the day to de-stress and relax."

"And that's what I want to do…but with you." I state. "Did my comment really hurt you that much? Did I hurt you so much with my words that you are actually avoiding being intimate with me?"

"I guess so, yeah." Dipping my head a little to meet her gaze, I can see how hurt she is. She is good at hiding her feelings, but I think we know each other well enough to know when something is wrong. "I just…I don't want you to think that it's all I want. That couldn't be further from the truth."

"I know that." I breathe out. "I just shouldn't have said it. I'm sorry."

"But you did say it." She gives me a sad smile. "You said it, and now I feel like if I get close to you, you'll assume I just want to drag you into the bedroom."

"Baby…" Pulling her into my arms, I run my fingers through her hair and she releases a deep breath. "I'm so sorry I made you feel that way." Her grip around my waist tightening, she buries her face in my chest and my fingers work the back of her neck. "I was having a bad day and I took it out on you, Eliza. Please don't take anything I said to heart."

"Just tell me if it's not what you want, okay?" Her eyes finding mine, my heart breaks at her words. "I'm sorry if you thought it was important to me, but it's not. So long as I'm with you, Arizona, I don't care about anything else. Sex included."

"Please don't say that." I plead. "I'll always want you, Eliza. I wanted you this morning, and I want you now. You make me feel incredible, and what I said yesterday was totally wrong of me."

"Okay." She gives me a slight nod.

"No, it's not okay," I state. "You are hurting because of me, and I feel awful. So, okay won't cut it."

"I don't know what else you want me to say." She pulls back out of my arms and gives me a look.

"I just want to know that everything is good between us," I reply. "I need things to be good between us. It's what matters most."

"Everything is fine." She responds, a little unconvincingly. "Just…you need to take it easy and rest."

"I'm fine, Eliza." Giving her a dimpled smile, she studies my face and finds no signs of lying from me. "I am. I just needed to sleep."

"Fine. If you say so."

"I do." Pulling her back into my chest, she brings her legs up onto the couch and pulls a blanket down to cover us both. "What are you doing?" I ask.

"Resting with you."

"Oh…" _Not what I was hoping for, but at least she is in my arms._

"Oh?" She glances up and raises an eyebrow.

"Y-Yeah." I smile and shake my head. "Never mind."

"What?"

"Nothing." Shrugging, I make myself a little more comfortable and Eliza settles down in my arms again. My fingers working the skin of her lower back, she hums in appreciation and shifts a little. The sound of my cell piercing through the quiet afternoon we are sharing, I roll my eyes and reach forward and grab it from the coffee table. "Hello?"

"Hey, it's me."

"Hey...you." I laugh. "What's up?"

"I'm coming over. You busy?"

"Nope, unfortunately not." I sigh as I glance down at the woman in my arms.

"Mm, sure."

"Mind out of the gutter, Altman."

"Whatever. I'll be there in thirty." She states. "I need you to have that footage ready for me."

"Why?" I ask. "I didn't tell you about it so you could use it, Teddy. I just wanted you to know that I had a little leverage if I needed it."

"So?"

"So what? Everything has calmed down and Alexis has fallen off the map." I shrug. "Therefore, I no longer need to use it against her."

"If you think that I'm going to let that bitch get away with what she did to you, you are very very wrong Robbins. Very wrong."

"Just come over and we will talk about it, okay?" Rolling my eyes, Eliza sits up and furrows her brow as she tries to eavesdrop on my conversation with my best friend…and lawyer.

"Damn right we will." Teddy laughs. "See you in a few." The call ending, I throw my cell down on the table and Eliza is still watching me.

"Just Teddy." I smile. "She's coming over."

"Okay…" She draws out. "Did you just suggest that you weren't going to go after Alexis?"

"No." I laugh. "She wants to see the footage I have."

"Oh, sounded a lot like you were about to let her off the hook." She shrugs. "Please don't do that." Her eyes finding mine, she looks a little worried about what is going to happen.

"I won't. Don't worry." Sitting up, I place a soft kiss on my girlfriend's lips and she furrows her brow. "Relax, Eliza…I'm not letting her get away with any of it."

I know she is thinking this over in her head, but no…it's not happening. There is no way on this earth that I'd allow Alexis to get away with anything she has done to me. She almost ruined my relationship, and she _did_ ruin my reputation. I'm only in the position I'm in right now because my girlfriend backed me up and told the public who I really am. I'm only in this position because she stayed and allowed me the opportunity to explain myself. If it wasn't for Eliza, I'd be in some hole right now…hiding away from the world. So, no…Alexis Santiago can kiss my ass for all I care. I'm done with her. I'm done with how she makes me feel. I'm done with her bullshit.

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome as always.**


	50. Chapter 50

**I own nothing. All characters/storylines belong to Shonda. I'm simply 'borrowing' them.**

* * *

Chapter Fifty

* * *

ELIZA'S POV

* * *

Teddy has just arrived and honestly, she's a little crazy. This is the first time we've met and I'm not quite sure how to take her just yet. She hasn't said a great deal to me yet, but I don't expect her to. She's here to see Arizona, not me. She's here to deal with that bitch I cannot bear to even think about…so no, I don't imagine she would have a thing to say to me, really. She's demanded the footage from Arizona, and I can see my girlfriend is toying with the idea of whether she shows her best friend it or not. I can understand why she doesn't want to, and I'd imagine it's a little embarrassing for Arizona, but she cannot allow Alexis to get away with anything. She cannot allow her to walk free from this with no repercussions whatsoever. I won't allow her to. I'll steal the footage and release it myself before that woman gets away with anything. I'd thought about it…you know, allowing that disc to get into the wrong hands, but my relationship is worth more than that. My life is worth more than that. I know for sure that if I'd released it, Arizona would have never forgiven me. I know she would have freaked and that would have been us officially done. Sure, it may not have anything to do with my girlfriend physically, but emotionally, she is hurt by what she saw on those cameras. I'd never put her through the pain of seeing it all over the Internet and having people comment on it. Whenever she gave an interview, that would be the topic of conversation. Whenever she met with friends or clients, they'd have something to say about it. _I just couldn't do it…no matter how much I may want to._

Grabbing a bottle of water from the refrigerator, I join my girlfriend and her best friend in the living room. She has the disc in her hand but she isn't saying much. Giving her a slight nudge, she glances my way and I give her a sad smile. "You know, you don't have to show anyone it if you don't want to."

"Um, yeah she does." Teddy cuts in. "I _want_ to see it."

"But if Arizona doesn't want you to see it, there's not a lot we can do about it…" I'm not backing down from this, and I need my girlfriend to know that I've got her. Regardless of her decision, I'll always have her. "Baby?" I raise an eyebrow. "What do you want to do?"

"She wants to show us it, right…" Teddy cuts in again and honestly, she's pissing me off now. "Arizona, come on." She whines. "I'm a busy woman, as are you…so let's stop playing around and get on with it already."

"Teddy." She sighs as she pinches the bridge of her nose. "Just give me a minute, okay?"

"Whatever." She holds up her hands and moves towards the bathroom. "Let me know when you've taken your head out of your ass."

"Um…" About to cut in, Arizona stops me by placing her hand over my own. "She doesn't get to speak to you like that, Arizona." Lowering my tone, I'm furious.

"Just leave her." She smiles. "She is just worried about all of this."

"So am I but I'm not demanding to see the footage." I scoff.

"I just…I can't watch it." She shakes her head. "I'm sorry."

"Why are you apologizing?" I furrow my brow. "You have _nothing_ to be sorry about." Taking the disc from her hands, I set it down on the table and turn to face her fully. "Look, I get that Teddy is here to help, but I don't like how she is acting. I don't like the way she is speaking to you."

"It's okay." She smiles.

"No, it's not," I state. "You go and take a nap, and I'll make sure she doesn't make a copy of her own whilst she watches it. I don't want you to see it again, either, so just go and do your own thing and I'll come get you when it's over, okay?"

"Okay." She nods. "I'm sorry for what you are about to see." She gives me a sad smile and stands. Watching her walk away, I take the disc from its housing and stand. Pacing the floor, the bathroom door unlocks and Teddy comes back into the room.

"Where is Arizona?" She furrows her brow.

"Taking a nap." I shrug. "Look, I know you mean well, but she's had a pretty hard time lately. She doesn't want to see the footage and she is worried about us seeing it, so I told her to take five and we will watch it together. I mean, we both want to rip that bitches head off, right?"

"Right." Teddy gives me a genuine smile. "How is she doing?"

"Better now, but she hasn't been so good. Please, just bear that in mind before you go hell for leather on her again, okay?"

"Yeah, sorry." Giving me a sad smile, I hand over the disc and she slips it into the side of her MacBook. "You ready?"

"To murder her? Yeah…" I laugh.

"Hey, I don't need to hear your plans, Minnick. You'll need someone to represent you if that ever happens so the less you say…the better." Throwing me a wink, Teddy isn't as bad as I first thought. "Remind me to give you my personal number when this is finished." Hitting play, we both sit side by side and I brace myself for what I'm about to see.

It already looks seedy and nasty just by the recording itself and honestly, my stomach is already turning. Watching as Alexis enters the room, two champagne bottles in her hands, she's wearing some pretty revealing lingerie. Complete with suspenders, I'm kind of offended that she ever called me a hooker since it's exactly what she looks like right now. Six women sprawled out on the bed, it hurts my heart to know that Arizona once shared that same bed with her. It hurts my heart to know that this woman was ever lucky enough to have my girlfriend in her life. She makes me sick and I haven't even seen anything too untoward yet. Glancing at Teddy, I can see her jaw is clenched and honestly, my own isn't far behind her. "You good?" She glances at me and raises an eyebrow.

"I don't know." I sigh as my eyes find the screen again. "I'm not sure I can bear to watch this."

"You can leave if you need to…"

"No." I breathe out. "I'm good for now." Settling back in my seat, I bring my knees up to my chest and chew on my fingernails. _Wow…_ Cocaine being lined along one woman's ass, I shudder in my seat and my heart is beating out of my chest. Alexis getting to her knees, she cleans up the white powder via her nose before licking any excess off of the woman's skin. "She makes me sick," I whisper to myself.

"Mm, me too." Various toys scattered around the bed, Alexis lays back and the others work her body in her drugged up state.

Closing my eyes and taking a breath, I drop my legs and force my chair back, causing it to screech along the hardwood flooring. "I'm sorry, but I can't watch any more of this." Shaking my head, I run my fingers through my hair and pace the floor in front of Teddy. "Can you turn that fucking volume down!" Gritting my teeth, Teddy hits the mute button and I give her an apologetic smile. "Sorry."

"Don't be." She waves off my comment. "I'm ready to put my fist through the screen any minute now." Her eyes widening at the screen, she clears her throat. "Well, now I know what a lesbian gangbang looks like." Hitting pause, she glances up at me and I stand with my arms folded across my chest. "Maybe you should go check on your girl, huh?"

"Yeah." I sigh. "Teddy, you cannot let this footage get out. You have to promise me."

"I won't." She agrees.

"It would kill Arizona." I give her a pleading look and she stands before rounding the dining table. "It would absolutely devastate her."

"Hey." Gripping my shoulders, my eyes find hers. "I'd never do that, Eliza. I promise."

"Okay." I nod as my voice breaks. "I'll go and check on her." Crossing the open space, I head down the hall and reach our bedroom door. I don't know how my girlfriend is feeling right now, but I'd imagine pretty disgusted. I cannot believe what I've just witnessed and I only caught a few minutes of it. Knocking lightly, she quietly calls me inside and I open the door. "Hey…"

"Hey…" She gives me a sad smile and drops her gaze.

"You okay?" Closing the distance between us, she gives me a slight nod and I slump down beside her. "I'm sorry you had to see that," I say as I take her hand in my own. "I'm sorry she did that to you." I mean, I know people cheat all the time, and some people just fall out of love, but that? In Arizona's bed? The bed that they shared? No, that is beyond disrespectful. It's also beyond disgusting.

"Can you just lie with me for a little while?" She asks, her knees pulled up to her chest as she rests against the headboard. "If you wouldn't mind…"

"Of course." I smile. "Come here." Shifting down the bed a little, Arizona comes to lie beside me and rests her head against my shoulder. Wrapping my arms around her, she breathes me in and hums in appreciation. "I hate her, Arizona."

"I know you do." She agrees. "Don't let her get to you, Eliza. She isn't worth it." Silence falling between us, I rest my head back against my pillow and close my eyes. I don't know where the hell this woman got off by hurting Arizona like she did, but she won't ever do it again. No way. Not whilst I'm around.

* * *

Slipping out of our bed, I leave Arizona to sleep a little longer. Teddy has been left alone with that footage for far too long, and I want to be sure that she is sticking by her word. I know she wouldn't hurt Arizona like that, but I still don't know a lot about this woman, so I have to be sure I can trust her. Trust is important in our lives lately and I hope she will understand that. Closing the door quietly behind me, I head down the hall and find Teddy clicking away on her computer. Narrowing my eyes, I round the table and find her booking flights. "Did you finish up with the footage?" I ask.

"I did." She gives me a nod but doesn't look at me. "Disc is on the table if you want to put it away for safekeeping."

"Thanks." I smile. "Going anywhere nice?"

"Who me? No." She laughs. "I'm far too busy to take myself off anywhere. This is for you guys."

"Um, we are too busy to fly out anywhere, too." I furrow my brow. "And why are you sending us away?"

"Because I don't want Arizona to be here when I serve that bitch. I also don't want her to be here in case Alexis shows up. I don't want her to have any contact with that woman whilst this is going on. I'm suing her ass like never before…and you two don't need the backlash."

"That's sweet, but I think we can handle ourselves."

"I don't doubt that." She smiles as she finally glances up at me. "But I still don't want you around. You said it yourself…Arizona has had a bad time of late, so I'm sending you guys away for a little while."

"Where?" I ask, my interest piqued.

"London." She states as she connects to the wireless printer and our tickets slip out. "I've called her hotel and they are expecting you both in the presidential suite."

"Wow." I breathe out. "I appreciate it, but I'm not sure Arizona is ready to go away again just yet. She is only just getting back to her business."

"And she can take care of that from London." Teddy gives me a certain look and I decide to allow my girlfriend to make the decision once she wakes.

Making my way into the kitchen, I put a fresh pot of coffee on and rest back against the counter. "Coffee?" I pull Teddy from her activities and she stands, giving me a nod. The sound of the bedroom door opening, I glance down the hallway and Arizona is heading our way, her fingers running through her hair and a yawn plastered on her face. Deciding not to say anything, she makes her way into the kitchen and grabs a coffee cup of her own. "Hey." Gripping her wrist, I stop her movements and she turns to face me. _Is she embarrassed?_ "You okay?"

"Yeah, I think I'm going to head into the office and check on things."

"Um, no." I laugh. "You're not." Pulling her against me, I give Teddy a look out of the corner of my eye and she clears her throat.

"I'm going to head out of here, ladies." Giving her an appreciative smile, Arizona rests her head in the crook of my neck and I know she doesn't even want to look at her best friend right now. "Eliza, you have the arrangements on the dining table and I'll call you both in a few days, okay?"

"Thanks, Teddy." I smile. "Are you okay to see yourself out?" I ask.

"Sure." She nods. "I'll see you guys in a few weeks." Grabbing her belongings, she slips out of the door and I wrap my arms around my girlfriend's waist.

"Baby, look at me?" Her eyes finding mine, I run my thumb across her tear-stained cheek and she closes her eyes. "Arizona, you have nothing to be embarrassed about. She is the disgusting one…not you."

"Mm…except I stayed with her after I'd seen that footage, Eliza. I stayed and played happy home with her."

"Why?" I ask. "Why did you do that?"

"I was scared of being alone." She sighs as she unravels her arms from my body. "I know I'm pathetic, but I loved her and I didn't want it to be true."

"You're not pathetic." I give her a sad smile. "You are beautiful and just someone who wanted to love and be loved back…it's not pathetic at all, okay?"

"It is." She sighs as she pulls away from me.

"Hey…don't do that." I give her a knowing look and she drops her gaze. "If something is on your mind, or if you are feeling awful…talk to me. It's what I'm here for, Arizona. I will never judge you and I will always be here to listen. You know that, right?"

"Yeah, I just don't really want to talk about it." She shrugs and I grip her wrist a little tighter. "Eliza…"

"Just wait, please?" I give her a sad smile and she slumps her shoulders. "I don't want you to talk about anything you don't want to, but I want you to know that I love you no matter what…"

"I love you, too." She gives me a genuine smile and leans back against the kitchen counter. "God, I could use a break." Yawning, she takes her cup of coffee and wraps her hands around it.

"Good thing we leave tonight, huh?" I smile.

"What?" She gives me a look of complete confusion. "Leaving for where?"

"London," I state. "Teddy booked it while you were sleeping."

"I cant just leave New York, Eliza."

"Yeah, that's what I told her, too." I shrug. "She said you can do your work and manage your business from London."

"Well, I can but is that really a good idea? Shouldn't I be here while I'm getting everything back on track?"

"Everything _is_ back on track." I smile. "I fixed everything yesterday and this morning, remember?"

"Yeah…" Her dimples pop and I know she is quickly coming around to the idea of London. Honestly, I haven't quite had a second to think about it myself. "I need to grab some stuff from the office, though."

"What stuff?" I ask. "I'll go grab it while you pack."

"Maybe we could go together." She raises an eyebrow. "I could use a little fresh air right now."

"Okay." I nod. "I guess we could take the route through Central Park?"

"Yeah…" She agrees as she sips on her coffee.

"I just um, I just wanted to apologize for earlier," I admit. "I shouldn't have taken your words to heart like I did."

"No, Eliza." Placing her cup down, she moves a little closer and takes my hands in her own. "You had every right to be upset by what I said at the office. So long as you know that I didn't mean it, everything will be okay…yeah?"

"Everything is okay, Arizona." I smile. "I promise." Pressing my lips against her own, she fists her hand in the front of my tee and I pull her in by the waist. Pulling back, our eyes meet and it's just us once again. Everything is just us. I don't care about what is about to happen, and I don't care what the outcome of the Alexis situation is going to be. Arizona is my priority and she always will be. Arizona and her health and wellbeing are what matters most and I know that Teddy booking those flights was the right thing to do. Making a mental note to call her and thank her, I pull Arizona out of the kitchen and towards the bedroom. "Come on, beautiful. Let's get ready for London."

"Sounds perfect." A little tension disappearing from her shoulders, she releases a deep sigh and tightens her grip on my hands. "I love you, Eliza."

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome as always.**

 **You lot wanted another business trip...so that's what you get.**


	51. Chapter 51

**I own nothing. All characters/storylines belong to Shonda. I'm simply 'borrowing' them.**

* * *

Chapter Fifty-One

* * *

ARIZONA'S POV

* * *

I need this. I need the break and I need the peace and quiet. Eliza has been an absolute godsend this past week, and I think she may need it more than me. She hasn't once turned down the idea of _another_ trip, so yeah…she needs this too. We are staying at one of my hotels I have here in London, and Teddy picked well. She knows where I prefer to stay, and thankfully, owning it means I can have the best rooms whenever I like. I hate the idea of them moving clients elsewhere, but right now I don't care. Right now I just want to lock myself away and forget about what has happened, and what is to come. My girlfriend hasn't said much about the footage she saw, and I'm thankful for that. I'm thankful that she didn't judge me for staying with Alexis after I'd seen what I did. Sure, we didn't last much longer after it, but still…I should never have stayed. I may have come out of it alone and hurt, but ultimately, I should have packed up and left that day she disappeared for her business trip. Maybe I was a fool to stay with her. Maybe I was pathetic for ever thinking that we could be okay after I'd witnessed what I did, but she's out of my life now, and that's how it's going to remain. I don't want her negativity or her drug life anywhere near me, and the more I think about it, the more I hate myself for ever putting Eliza through that trip to Cuba. It should never have happened. She should never have had to go through what she did because of me. Yes, I hate myself for it, but we are here. We are together. We are okay.

It's a little cold this morning and as we stepped off of our flight at Heathrow Airport, it was a shock to the system for Eliza. I mean, I'm sure she knew the weather wouldn't be amazing, but she wasn't really dressed for the weather we faced when we landed. Now, she is sat shivering in the back of the car Teddy arranged for us, and it breaks my heart a little. She should be warm and comfortable but right now she looks anything but. "Hey, take my jacket." Slipping it from my arms, I drape it over her shoulders before she has the chance to argue. "Are you okay?" I furrow my brow.

"Just tired." She gives me a small unconvincing smile. "Would you mind if I sleep a little when we get to the hotel?"

"Not at all." I shake my head. "I think I'll join you."

"Okay." She yawns. "Sorry, I'm just not feeling this trip right now." She shrugs. "I'll be okay once I've slept."

"Hey, don't apologize." I take her hand in my own. "This trip was unexpected and we were a little unprepared." I smile. "But, we have each other and that is all that matters, right?"

"Right." She smiles. "Can we just stay at the hotel today?"

"We can do whatever you want, Eliza. So long as I'm holding your hand, I don't care where we are."

"You're too adorable sometimes." Placing her head on my shoulder, she pulls my jacket tighter around her and releases a small sigh. "But don't ever change."

Silence falling between us, I wrap my left arm around her shoulder and pull her in a little closer. We're only around fifteen minutes away from our hotel, but her eyes are already closing and I know she is worn out. She's been too busy looking after me to stop and take care of herself. I've been too busy in my own head to realize that she needs time to recharge, too. Basically, I'm just being a lame girlfriend. Isn't that what I do best, though, lately? Isn't that how it's been for as long as I can remember? I mean, Alexis probably cheated on me because I was too busy in my own head to put her first so Eliza is probably feeling the same way. Why wouldn't she? I'm constantly thinking about work. I'm constantly on my cell or checking my emails. I'm never giving her enough attention or love. At least, that is how I feel lately. I feel like I can't do anything right, and sometimes the harder I try, both in my professional and my personal life, it just backfires.

Like, I ran myself into the ground to make my business what it used to be, and in turn, I neglected my girlfriend and said some not nice things to her. It's like I can't focus on both right now and it's simply one or the other. Why would she want to be with someone like that? Why would she want to be with someone who gives her what she wants one minute, but is out the door and due at a meeting the next? It's not fair to her at all and no matter how hard I try, it just doesn't work. If I could take six months away from it all, I would, the problem is…I can't. I can't because I don't have anyone to replace me. I don't have anyone I can trust to run my business with me having no say whatsoever. I'd love nothing more than to take a break from it all, but right now…it's just not possible.

Our car pulling up outside my hotel, I nudge my girlfriend a little and she mumbles against my shoulder. "Baby, we're here."

"Mm…" Sitting up and squinting her eyes, she shivers again and slips my jacket on fully. Yeah, it's a little cold, but she is tired so she is feeling it more than me. Thanking our driver, I step out and Eliza follows me.

"Miss Robbins. It's wonderful to see you." The doorman guiding us inside, it's been a while since I've taken a trip to London.

"Good to see you, Stuart." Tipping his hat, we make our way inside and I get us checked in. Eliza coming to stand beside me, she gives me a tired smile and runs her fingers through her hair. "Five minutes and I'll have you in our suite, okay?"

"Okay."

* * *

Waking to a peaceful silence, I glance to my right and find my girlfriend sleeping soundly in my arms. Taking in my surroundings, this place is amazing. Sometimes I forget some of the work I've done, and I have to say…this is one of my best. Cocky, I know, but I'm still impressed with it to this day. Sometimes I wonder where my life would be if I'd never followed my dreams. Sometimes I wonder what I'd be doing if I didn't have all the money that I do and if I didn't lead the life I do right now. Would I be happy and content with my choices? Would I be happy in my love life? I'm not sure I would. I know it's hard going at times and it takes up most of my life, but I wouldn't change my life for the world. Take a break from it, yes…but leave it all behind? No, never. I could never bring myself to walk away from all of this. It's not about the money or the status…that doesn't interest me. It's about doing what I love. What I believe I was born to do. Some people may think that I sit around sipping champagne all day but it really isn't like that. The harder you work, the better the reward. Whether that is being involved in some of the biggest contracts in the world, or simply leaving the office with the knowledge that you have just produced something beautiful, it is all rewarding in the end. I just worry that it's too much sometimes. Not for me, but for my girlfriend. She has literally been thrown in at the deep end, and I should appreciate that more. I should appreciate her and what she does for me so much more than I do. I know it is her job to be run ragged, but she is my life. She matters more than any work we are faced with. She always will.

I mean, I know we are strong. We are stronger than ever, but is that enough? Is us how we are going to be enough for her happiness? I worry that it's not. I know I shouldn't worry until something crops up, but that's just who I am. Happiness for the people in my life has always been important to me, and now that I have Eliza, it's my sole focus in life. It has to be. The work will always be there, but my girlfriend may not. Quietly slipping out of the bed, I head for my cell phone that is sitting on the coffee table and hit speed dial for a familiar number.

"Robbins office." Lucie picks up and I'm thankful that she doesn't sound too stressed out.

"Lucie, it's me."

"Oh, Miss Robbins, hi." Lucie perks up. "How can I help you?"

"How are things at the office?" I ask.

"Fine. Everything is running as it should be." She states. "Is there something you needed?"

"No, no." I breathe out. "Could you hold all of my business for a week? Put an out of office on everything! Take the week off yourself."

"Is everything okay?" She asks, a little concern in her voice.

"Everything is fine, Lucie. I'm taking the week off."

"Y-You are?" She stutters. "Wow, okay."

"I expect you back at the office a week Monday. 9am."

"Sure. Enjoy your time alone." She states. "Goodbye, Miss Robbins."

"Goodbye, Lucie." Ending the call, I glance back at my girlfriend who is beginning to stir a little. Making as little noise as possible, I grab the room service menu from the kitchen counter and peruse it. Eliza wants to spend the day and night locked away and it's a perfect idea. I've just canceled everything for the next week so what better way to start the first break in probably ten years than in bed eating with my girlfriend? I can't think of anything better.

Calling down and placing an order for pretty much everything on the menu, I round the counter and check out the mini bar. Everything I could ever need is already stocked in it and I'm pretty sure it will last us all of one night. I'm not concerned, though. It's easily enough replenished. Thanking the guy on the other end of the phone, I end the call and make my way back to the bed my girlfriend is comfortably sleeping in. Slipping back under the covers, I wrap an arm around her waist and brush her hair from her neck. She's shifted a little since I left our bed and now has her back to me. Placing soft kisses down the side of her neck, I reach her shoulder and her skin is as soft as ever. Absolutely stunning. Shifting further back into my body, her hand grips mine beneath the sheet and she laces our fingers together. "Wake up, sleepy head."

"Mm, I'm sorry…I just needed a little rest." She moans as she turns in my arms and nuzzles into my chest. "Did you sleep at all?"

"With you beside me? It's hard not to." My dimples popping, she glances up and me and give me a smile of her own. "You have the week off by the way…"

"I don't follow." Her brow furrowed, she pulls back a little and studies my face. "Teddy said you could work from London, no?"

"Teddy can say what she likes…" I smile. " _We_ are taking the week off together, Eliza. It's as simple as that."

"But you have business you have to finalize and whatever else crops up over this week. Who is going to do that?" She sits up a little, resting on her elbow. "You don't have anyone there who can do what you do."

"I called Lucie. Everything has been put on hold for a week." I shrug. "Oh, and I've ordered room service."

"Good, I'm starved…but why did you take the week off?" She asks. "Is something wrong?"

"No." I press my lips against hers before pulling back. "Everything is right for the first time in my life." I smile. "I just think you need a break, too, and if you are working, I'm working…so, neither of us are working."

"I don't need a rest." She sighs.

"Yes, you do." I give her a knowing look and she drops back down onto the bed. "I need to make more time for you, Eliza. I don't want to be one of those people who loses whats most important to her because of her career. I really don't."

"You're not one of those people, though, Arizona." She glances my way and gives me a sad smile. "I came into this knowing exactly what you do. If I didn't want you to work, and if I knew this was going to become a problem, I never would have continued what we had going…"

"I know, but I still want to spend some time with you without the phone ringing and without conference calls interrupting us." I prop myself up on my elbow and study her face. "You know, we have barely touched each other since the fall out the other day and I don't like that. I don't like how my crazy schedule run me down and caused me to be short with you. It wasn't acceptable, and it hurt you…so I just want to relax with you. You say that I need a break, but you work just as hard as me."

"I'm supposed to." She laughs. "I'm your assistant."

"But you are my girlfriend before all of that."

"Maybe, but I'm still your employee however you want to dress it up." She shrugs.

"I don't ever want you to think of yourself as my assistant before the love of my life, Eliza." Running my thumb across her bottom lip, a small smile creeps onto her face. "Because that's what you are…you _are_ the absolute love of my life."

"Yeah?" She turns to face me again and narrows her eyes. "You really think I'm the only one for you? Forever?"

"You are joking, right?" I scoff. "You haven't just asked me that…"

"I mean, I know we all secretly hope that it will last forever, but sometimes it doesn't." She shrugs. "I know that I want to spend the rest of my life with you, but I wasn't sure you were as certain as I feel that I am."

"I couldn't ever even begin to imagine my life without you in it." My voice breaking, she shifts a little closer to me and her body comes to rest against my own. Her fingers running through my messed up curls, she gives me the most amazing smile I've ever witnessed before pressing her lips to my own. I mean what I say, and I very rarely go back on my word. This woman is the only thing I know is certain in my life. She is the only one I know I will still be sleeping next to in fifty years time. No matter what insecurities I have, or what insecurities she has…I swear I'm going to do everything in my power to always have her by my side. I've always maintained that she is the most important thing in my life, and she still is. She always will be. She makes me feel alive and no amount of money or success has ever given me that feeling. Something has always been missing in my life, and now that I've finally found that missing piece, my life feels complete. My life feels like its more on track now than it has ever been. She is the reason for that. Eliza is the reason I wake with a smile on my face every morning regardless of what we are going through. Eliza is the reason I try to be the best I can be, and honestly, I don't think I'd have survived the past few weeks without her. She was made for me. I know that. "Hey…" Pulling back, she furrows her brow and I run my thumb across her cheek. "You know that I'll always try my best to make us happy, right?"

"I know, baby."

"I'm sorry I've neglected you." I drop my gaze. "And I'm sorry I put you through all of this. Cuba. Alexis. The aftermath. Just…give me some time to fix everything, okay?"

"There is nothing to fix." She smiles. "At least, not where we are concerned."

"I appreciate that, but I should never have gone," I state. "I guess in the back of my mind I knew it would be problematic, but what she did was harsh, and the things she said to you broke my heart, Eliza. It is my fault that it ever happened, so I'm truly sorry, okay?"

"Please don't blame yourself." She begs. "None of this was your fault."

"Mm…then why does it feel like it was?"

"I don't know, beautiful." She sighs as she shifts her weight completely on top of me. "But I won't allow you to blame yourself. I told you to go on that trip, and I told you that it was okay. She played us both with her sexy smile and her convincing words, but honestly….I don't even want her name to ever fall from my mouth again."

"Sorry."

"Don't be." She shrugs. "But you said it yourself…this next week is about us, and _only_ us. Just promise me one thing?"

"Anything…" I breathe out.

"You will stop being hard on yourself where she is concerned. I hate what she did to you, and seeing it with my own eyes made me hate her even more…which I didn't think was even possible, but you don't have to feel embarrassed about her actions, and you don't have to feel responsible in any way at all. She messed up, and she messed you up…but you found the courage to leave her and I'm proud of you for that. Leaving her meant that I was able to show you how you should be loved. Leaving her meant that I'm the one who gets to make your morning coffee and lie in bed with you whilst we listen to the rain hitting the windows. Her messing up may have hurt at the time, but look at you now? Look how beautiful this is. How perfect we are."

"God, I love you so much." Pulling her down against my body, my arms wrap around her back and I tighten my grip. Eliza is right and I know that. Alexis is the one who fucked up. Sure, I stayed…but she is right. Look at me now. I'm lying in a bed in London in one of my buildings and my life is pretty damn perfect. Maybe it wont always be like that…but right now, I couldn't ask for anything else in my life. Eliza is with me. She is here to protect me and love me, and yeah…if I think about how amazing she is any longer, I'll cry.

 _I really don't want to cry right now..._

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome as always. I look forward to reading them. Happy Friday!**


	52. Chapter 52

**I own nothing. All characters/storylines belong to Shonda. I'm simply 'borrowing' them.**

* * *

Chapter Fifty-Two

* * *

ELIZA'S POV

* * *

God, I needed that sleep. It must have been near on twelve hours, but wow…I feel more refreshed than I have done the entire time I've been in New York. I know it's the city that never sleeps, but I'm a girl who needs her sleep. I always have been. Arizona taking the week off was a little shocking to me since I know she _never_ takes time away from work. I mean, I know we've already vacationed together, but it wasn't really relaxing. Hawaii was, but she still had business to tend to whilst we were there, and Cuba? Well, that was just a joke from start to finish. Even if we did have an amazing time in the suite and on the beach, it still wasn't a relaxing vacation. It was nothing more than a nightmare that was slowly brewing around us. I know that now, and Arizona apologizing last night only confirmed it for me. I don't want her to apologize, though. She didn't do anything wrong. She simply took on a business opportunity and figured it would work out like it always does. Alexis is the one who caused problems. She's the one who ruined our trip for us.

I'd never tell her she couldn't work on a project. No matter how wary I was of the client she was working with. I'm not that kind of person. I'm not controlling or demanding. I'm just me. Arizona knows that. If she believed that what she was doing was right, then I would never question her judgment. She's the businesswomen, not me.

Slipping from our bed, I stretch my body out and take myself over to the floor to ceiling windows. We have the perfect view of the river, but the sky above doesn't look too good. It's turning darker by the second. I'm not sure what our plans for the day are, but I'm hoping it doesn't involve the outdoors too much. I love being outside, but that's usually when it doesn't involve wind or rain. My hair isn't made for the rain, and my girlfriend knows this. Five minutes in and it becomes nothing but a frizz.

Glancing back, I smile when I find Arizona watching me from the bed. She has the covers pulled up to her chin, but her left arm and shoulder are above the sheets and very bare. "Good morning…" I smile.

"Hey, beautiful." A slight yawn falling from her mouth, her tired eyes open a little more and she runs her fingers through her hair. "You feeling better today?"

"Amazing." I smile. "I needed that sleep."

"Mm…" She nods. "Your snoring confirmed that last night."

"Uh, I don't snore." My brow furrowed, I give her an incredulous look and she raises an eyebrow. "I don't!"

"Sure." She laughs. "Must have been in bed with someone else last night then, huh?"

"Must have." I shrug. _I do not snore._ "Maybe it was yourself."

"Um...it wasn't, but okay." She shifts in the bed and pulls the sheet tighter around her naked chest. Unable to take my eyes off of her perfectly sculpted shoulders, I give her a smile and close the distance between us. "I still love you even though you snore…" She breathes out as she taps her fingers against her other hand. "I always will."

"I _do not_ snore, Arizona." Shaking my head, I climb back under the covers and my leg settles between her own. "You must have been dreaming."

"Mm...I think I'm dreaming right now." Her eyes darkening as I lean down and drop light kisses over her shoulder, she slips further down the bed until she is flat on her back. "Don't wake me up, okay?" Her dimples popping, my tongue runs up her neck and she moans as our centers connect. "Fuck…" She breathes out. "D-Definitely don't wake me up."

Grinding my hips down against her own, she writhes beneath me and all I'm seeing right now is my gorgeous blonde. Her scent is intoxicating and her moans are more arousing than ever before. She's all kinds of hot, but right now I just need to feel her. I just need to be inside of her. We got a little handsy last night, but it didn't go any further. Simply because I was already convinced I'd been sleeping with my eyes open since dinner. Arizona did ask if it was because of what happened at the office a few days ago, but it really wasn't. I wanted her so much last night, but my body was drained. My mind was drained. Everything was barely functional. I didn't want our first time since our fight to be like that. I didn't want to just give her a little. She deserves my full attention, and that is what she is getting right now. "I've missed you…" My words causing her to dig her nails into my shoulders, I moan in both pain and pleasure and my lips find hers.

Trailing them down her neck, I reach her gorgeous breasts and take a nipple between my teeth. Rolling my tongue over it repeatedly, I suck a little harder and her back lifts from the bed. "So beautiful," I mumble against her soft skin. Her own fingers weaving between our bodies, she tweaks my own painfully hard nipple and my body responds like it always does to her touch. "Shit…" Sucking the skin above her nipple into my mouth, her own hands work their magic on my body and my arousal pools between my legs. My wetness meeting her own, my hips force down and a gasp leaves her mouth. "Fuck, you're wet."

"All for you." She groans as her own hips lift to gain a little friction. "You send my body crazy, Eliza."

"And that's how it's always going to be." Weaving my hand between our bodies, her body shivers as I hit a certain spot on her stomach. Reaching the exact place I want to be, I run two fingers through her soaked folds and she buries her head deeper into the pillow. Her mouth hanging open and her eyes shut tight. Taking her hand in my own, I lace our fingers together and place a kiss on her wrist. "I love you, Arizona." My breath washing over her ear, I drop it a little and nuzzle into the side of her neck. "I always will." Slipping two fingers inside, her grip on my hand tightens and her beautiful blue eyes open. "Hey…" I smile.

"Don't ever leave me." Her words barely above a whisper, she pulls me in by the back of my neck and I force our hands into the pillow beside her head. It's not a crazed kiss, and this isn't just sex…no, this is us. Love. Understanding. Our relationship. Slowly rolling my hips behind my hand, I sink deeper with each movement. It's slow, but it's exactly what we need right now. I can have her scream my name whenever I want, but this is my apology for withholding from her the past few days. This is my way of making it right. This is me telling her I love her forever and that I'm never leaving her. I know she worries about us, and she has vocalized that more than once, but I can only show her that I'm here to stay. I can only show her that I want this and I want her more than anything else in this world. Nothing else matters. _She_ is all I see. She is all I will _ever_ see. Lifting my head, I rest it against her own and her blue eyes stare into my soul. Everything about her makes me feel like I belong. I've never felt this way before. I've never felt that undeniable love that I feel for her or with her. She completes me and she makes me happier than ever.

Grazing my thumb across her aching bundle, I curl my fingers inside of her and her mouth falls open a little. Her eyes never leaving my own. "I'm not going anywhere," I whisper before sucking her bottom lip into my mouth. Her body stiffening a little, I work my fingers exactly where she needs them, and she silently comes undone beneath me. "Never." I breathe out as her own breath catches in her throat. Pulling my body against her own, I slowly slip out of her and wrap my arms around her. Her shoulders shaking, I pull back and find tears slipping down her face. "Hey…" I furrow my brow. "Don't cry."

"Sorry…" She squeezes her eyes shut to stem the flow. "I just…I thought I'd messed us up…I thought I'd messed us being like this up."

"No, baby." Running my thumb across her cheek, she leans into my touch and gives me a sad smile. "Nothing about us is messed up. I promise."

"I thought you didn't want to be intimate with me anymore…" She whimpers.

"I'm sorry." Placing soft kisses along her jawline, she grazes her fingertips up my back and it settles me a little. "Don't ever think that I don't want you…this. I'll always want this."

* * *

Walking through the streets of London, Arizona is keeping tight-lipped about what she has planned for the morning, but honestly…I'm not worried. I'm not worried because her plans are always amazing and I know she always picks well. Her hand in my own, she pulls me a little closer to her body and I can feel the pure love radiating from her. It's warming me on this cold miserable day. "So, where exactly are we going?" I ask.

"I've told you…it's a surprise." She smiles. "Just wait and see."

"But I hate surprises," I whine.

"Look, how bad can it be?" She rolls her eyes. "You have me by your side."

"Okay, what does that even mean?" I furrow my brow. "Wait…what do we have planned, Arizona. Is it something creepy?"

"Maybe…" She smirks. "You're not scared are you?"

"No." I give her an incredulous look and she laughs a little. "What? I'm not. Why would I be scared?"

"I don't know." She shrugs. "You just look a little freaked out."

"Well, I'm not." I scoff. Taking a few deep breathes, we head down a narrow road and Arizona sighs. "Are we going for lunch?" I ask.

"We will be…later." She smiles. "You ready?"

"Ready for what?" I furrow my brow.

"The Clink!" She stops dead outside an old building and I glance up at the exterior. My eyes landing on a blue plaque fixed to the wall beside the entrance, I give her an awkward smile and read the wording.

 **1144 - 1780**

 **Most Notorious Medieval Prison**

"Sure." I clear my throat. "It's just an old jail." I shrug.

"Mm, the most haunted, too." She leans in a little closer and lowers her tone. My heart dropping into my stomach, she studies my face. "Don't worry, it's not the original place. That burnt to the ground a long long time ago. _Oh, thank god._ "Come on, let's head inside."

"Arizona, I…" Gripping her hand a little tighter, I stop her from moving any closer to the entrance and she turns back to face me. "N-Nothing. Never mind."

"What is it?" She furrows her brow.

"Nothing." Pulling her inside, the smell sends my stomach into a state of anxiety. It smells just as old and creepy as it looks. Honestly, I'm not feeling this place at all. Stepping up to the desk, Arizona pays our admission and we head through a set of double doors. _Yeah, this place is giving me the creeps already._ Her hand separating from mine, I freeze. "W-What are you doing?" I ask, worry evident in my voice.

"I'm just removing my scarf, Eliza." She gives me a look of confusion. "This place is just a museum. Figured it could be fun." Shrugging, she takes my hand in her own once again and we move through the corridor. Mannequins dressed in the appropriate attire glaring at me, my body shivers and I know that this isn't going to be a fun visit at all. "Awesome, right?" Arizona smiles as she glances my way.

"Yeah." I give her a crooked smile. "Amazing."

"Come on, let's head down this way." She throws me a wink and pulls me down a darker corridor. "You know, you can stay the night for the paranormal activity event…I was going to book us straight on it, but I didn't know if you'd feel like it or not."

"Really?" I deadpan. "You'd want to stay in this place?"

"Sure…why not?" She asks. "Ouji boards and seances. Could be amazing."

"Yeah, no!" I shake my head. "That is not happening."

"Okay, it was just a suggestion." _Yeah, a pretty fucking stupid one, too._ Turning the corner, I jump when I'm met with a set of bars. Behind them is a mannequin trapped in a cellar and positioned as though he is trying to climb out. _Fucking hell._ Placing my hand over my chest, I take a few seconds to breathe through this horrible feeling I have. Stepping back a little, I'm frightened half to death when my body connects with another mannequin that is standing in chains.

"Okay, no. I can't do this." My eyes shut tight, I feel Arizona's presence right in front of me but it doesn't calm me at all. It only freaks me out even more. I mean, why would she be into this stuff? Why would she want to walk around a museum dedicated to medieval crime and death? This is just all kinds of wrong.

"Can't do what?" My eyes open and she is standing right in front of me.

"This. Being in this fucking place. It's creepy, Arizona, and _you_ are creepy for being into this." Bursting out into a fit of laughter, she shakes her head and pulls me away from the plastic dude behind me. "It's just weird. You are weird."

"I'm not weird, I'm just interested." She smiles. "If you want to leave, though, we can."

"No, because you planned this and you thought it would be an enjoyable day for us both." I sigh. "It will be okay, right?"

"They're all fake, so yeah." She nods. "It will be okay. Nothing is going to jump out at you…I don't think." I can see the uncertainty in her eyes. "I've been here before and it is nothing more than a museum. I'm sorry if this isn't your thing…I didn't realize you would be freaked out by it."

"It's okay." I smile. "Why would you?"

"Wanna grab some lunch?" She raises an eyebrow.

"I feel bad now…" Dropping my gaze, she curls her fingers beneath my chin and gives me a dimpled smile. "You took the time to think about this and wanted me to experience it with you."

"Don't feel bad." Her hand resting against my cheek, I feel a little calmer, but not much. "You worked up my appetite after breakfast so I could use something to keep me going."

"Yeah?" I smile. I know she is just trying to make me feel better, but I feel awful for not sticking this out. I mean, it's not scary, but it gives me some pretty bad vibes and honestly, I'm not sure I could stick it out even if I really wanted to. I'm a wimp, so what? "Lunch then?"

"Lunch." She agrees. Heading back the way we have just came, I keep my eyes firmly on the floor and allow Arizona to guide me back outside. The smell of fresh air hitting me, I breathe a sigh of relief and she wraps her arm around my waist, slipping her hand in my back pocket as she does. "Sorry I freaked you out."

"Sorry, I'm such a coward." I counter.

"Not at all." She shakes her head and we cross the street. "It was kind of adorable seeing you like that, but if it's not for you…it's not for you."

"Thank you."

"Come on, there is a little Italian around the corner and it's amazing." She suggests. "Lunch is on me since I frightened you to within an inch of your life."

"You know, you actually did," I admit as I continue to bring my breathing back down to normal. "For future reference…I don't do anything scary, gory, jumpy….or anything that requires me to close my eyes. Movies included. I'm the hopeless romantic type, Arizona, not a Stephen King fanatic."

"Got it." She nods. "Maybe you can choose the next plans for us, huh?"

"Yeah." I laugh. "Maybe I should do that." Rounding the corner, we head down the street that holds the restaurant we will grab lunch at and Arizona squeezes my ass through the denim that is hugging it. "I love spending uninterrupted time with you like this."

"Good…I do, too." She smiles. "I just wish we could do it more often."

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome as always. Have a great weekend.**


	53. Chapter 53

**I own nothing. All characters/storylines belong to Shonda. I'm simply 'borrowing' them.**

* * *

Chapter Fifty-Three

* * *

ARIZONA'S POV

* * *

I love this city. I always have. London for me is a second home, and every time I return, it's just as amazing as the last time. I love that Eliza is here with me since I'm usually here alone, and being here with her only makes me want to return time and time again. Being here with her and not having to work only makes me want to take more time away from the craziness of my career. We both know that isn't possible, and it only encourages me to spend every uninterrupted moment we have…together. No cell phones. No meetings. No planning. Just us. Eliza and I. Whether that is in bed together, walking the streets together, or sharing dinner together…it's been perfect. Yesterday I took her to a museum and let's just say it didn't quite go to plan. I didn't know she was afraid and even though it was hilarious to see, I couldn't put her through it any longer than I already had. I couldn't allow her to feel that way whether I enjoyed it or not. I'm not that cruel. I could see the genuine fear in her eyes. I could see the uncertainty of what was coming next. Funny, yes…necessary? No. Not at all.

My girlfriend is planning today's trip, and right now she is showering. I know it will be something awesome since it usually is, and it only makes me feel even more crappy about my choice of trip yesterday. She has probably got some sort of romantic trip planned. Maybe a beautiful lunch followed by a walk or something. Any time I get to spend with her is amazing, and I'll take what I can get right now. I'll always take what I can get where my girlfriend is concerned.

I've been thinking hard this morning if I'm being totally honest. I've been thinking about every moment since we met. How she made me feel the moment I laid eyes on her. How she holds me in her arms as we fall asleep together. I've even thought about the times we've fought and I was uncertain about the future of our relationship. I can remember that moment I saw her in the bar like it was just yesterday. How she looked at me. How she smiled at me. How my heart pounded in my chest like never before and how my hands suddenly became clammy. If I close my eyes, I can still see that look from across the bar. The night I told myself I was done with dating and being alone. The night I hoped I would find my happy ever after.

I did find that. I found that the moment I looked into her eyes and my stomach flipped. I knew it from the moment I saw her. I knew it when she approached me and her scent took over my entire existence. When she shook my hand. The first time my name fell from her lips. The first time she touched me. I've never been touched like that. Such a delicate and kind touch. It was just oozing from her, and it still does to this day…maybe even more so now. She was just so forward with me, and maybe that was what I needed. I was always the one chasing the women. I'd never really been chased before. So it was nice. It was nice to be the one that was wanted. It was nice to be the one receiving the attention instead of the one giving it to everyone but myself. It just…it was nice. It still is nice.

I know we've been through some shitty times recently, and I know at times it was us who were causing each other hurt and heartbreak, but we stuck it out and look at the end result. It's been nothing short of amazing. Amazing and beautiful. The whole Alexis thing hurt me beyond belief, and I only hurt myself more when I asked her to leave our suite, but she stayed. She stayed for _me._ Nobody has ever done anything like that for me. Nobody has ever showered me with love like she has. Nobody has ever touched my skin with such ease and confidence that it's actually made me cry. Because it has. It has made me cry more than once.

I mean, I try to be the hard businesswoman, around Eliza, though, I'm anything but. I cannot be that person when she is in the room. She just…she knocks it right out of me and nobody has ever succeeded in that before. Nobody has ever made love to me until the sun has come up, and then slept in my arms. Nobody has ever made and shared breakfast with me in bed. I know it sounds pathetic, but it's true. Whether it was me pushing the other women away, or vice versa, it's true. Nobody has and nobody ever will make me feel the way Eliza does. She is my happy ever after and she is the one who I will take my last breath beside. I know it, and I've known it for some time. When I tell her I love her, it's not just those three words that anyone is capable of saying. It's not those three words that fall from people's mouths when the mood takes them. No, it's true. It's genuine. It's honest. Everything I have ever said to her is genuine. She knows that.

What do I want from today? I want love and happiness. I want to walk back into this hotel room this evening a totally different person. I want to know that I have an amazing future with the only woman I've ever truly loved. I have everything I need but I just need a little more from Eliza. I just need that little extra that some people spend their lives wishing for. I just...I need her to agree to become my wife. Yes, today is the day I propose. I never imagined myself to be the kind of woman who _needs_ marriage, but with my girlfriend, I do. It's something I'm beginning to crave. It's something I've been thinking about for weeks. Since before we left for Cuba. Then everything went wrong and Eliza told me that she was planning to buy me a ring as she was handing me the keys to the condo back and about to walk out of my life for good. It was in that moment that I knew if I could ever possibly get her back...I had to make her my wife.

The love that we have for each other is undeniable, and it's everything I could ever want...but I just need that little bit more. I mean, if she turned me down I wouldn't be offended, but I want her to know that I'm committed to her for the rest of my life. Even if I propose and she says no, at least she will know that the intention was there. I don't want her to say no, but I have to prepare myself for that possibility. I have to prepare myself for the word no falling from her mouth. Marriage isn't for everyone, and I know better than most how tough of a time Eliza has had with her life. It's only been a few months since she even came out to the world, so asking her what I plan to ask may freak her out. I'd totally understand if she did, but I hope to god she won't say no. I'd still love her, but I hope she will give me the chance to show her that I can be a better wife than I have been a girlfriend. I'm prepared to give her the entire world...if she will let me.

Pulled from my thoughts, Eliza comes from the bathroom fully prepared and ready for the day ahead. "Hey…" Her gorgeous voice causing me to smile, I slip my hand in my jacket pocket and toy with the box I've had hidden there since we arrived here. "You ready to go?"

"Sure." I smile as my sudden anxiety hits me full force in the chest. "L-Let's go."

* * *

"Are you okay?" Eliza furrows her brow and stops us at the entrance of a well known London attraction. "You've been really quiet since we left the hotel."

"I'm okay." I give her my best smile. I am okay. I'm more than okay. My stomach isn't, though. It's been somersaulting since she walked out of the bathroom almost an hour ago, and no matter how hard I try, I cannot get rid of this anxious feeling. Like, it's freezing outside today but I can feel my body sweating beneath my clothes. Kinda like that cold sweat you get when something bad is going to happen. My body is shivering, but my skin feels wet. _I think I'm going to vomit._ I can't. I have to do this. No matter how much I want to turn around and drag her back to the safe confines of our hotel, I can't. Today is the day I propose, whether I like it or not.

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure." My mouth becoming drier by the second, I could really use a bottle of water right now. I need something, anything that's wet. "So, is this the plan?" Glancing up at the London Eye, she gives me a nod and then her eyes widen.

"Oh, shit." She drops her gaze. "You're afraid of heights, aren't you?"

"No." I try to reassure her. "I wouldn't live 34 floors up if I was afraid of heights."

"Oh, right." She laughs. "Then what is it?"

 _Oh, it's nothing. You have just created the perfect setting for your proposal is all._ Giving her a smile and tightening my grip on her hand, I shake my head a little. "Eliza, I'm fine. I promise."

"Okay." She smiles. "Come on, I got us a private capsule."

"You did?" My dimples pop. "That's kinda awesome."

"Well, you've probably done this before and I wanted us to just be alone so I can truly experience it."

"Actually, I've never done this." I shrug. "So, it will be nice for us to do it together."

"It will." Eliza works out the details with the guy manning the attraction and I get lost in my own thoughts. I mean, how bad could this be? I'm sure I'm getting myself worked up for nothing, but I'm just not good at this stuff. It's not something I've _ever_ imagined myself doing, so no…I'm terrible at anything like this. Fancy meals and expensive wine is what I'm good at, but proposals? No.

Honestly, I don't even know what I'm going to do, or what to even say. Like, do I just come out with the question? Do I actually drop to one knee like everyone else? I don't know and I don't like not being in control of the situation. The situation _I've_ created. It's making me feel a little uneasy, and the fact that I've no idea what her response will be is freaking me out. I'm excited to be up there with Eliza and see all of the beautiful buildings London has to offer, but my own fears are beginning to take over that happiness and it's going to be a nightmare. I just know it is.

 _Why are you worrying? She is none the wiser._ I guess if it really becomes too much I could back out. Eliza wouldn't know any different. Maybe I should just wait and see how the mood is once we are settled and enjoying ourselves. Maybe it will just fall from my mouth when I least expect it. Maybe it won't even happen today. I have the ring, and I have Eliza with me. Whatever happens…happens. It's no big deal, I guess. There is always tomorrow. Or the next day. Or next week. _Stop being a coward, Robbins._

"So, are we getting on, or?" Eliza interrupts my inner turmoil.

"Sorry, yeah." I laugh. "I was just checking out the views from down here before we see them from up there." Stepping into the capsule, the door closes and Eliza takes a seat before motioning for me to join her. Settling down beside her, she takes my hand in my own and sits back.

"I love being alone with you like this." Brushing my hair from my neck, she places a soft kiss below my ear and it sends my heart rate skyrocketing. "Nothing but just the two of us."

"Yeah?" I ask.

"God, yes." She nods. "If I could spend the rest of my life alone with you, I totally would. I don't need anybody else, Arizona. You are more than enough…as is your company."

"I love you." The words falling from my mouth faster than I can process them, I know it's now or never. I know I have to say what I have to say right now.

"I love you, too." She smiles.

"No." I shake my head and turn to face her fully. "I mean, I love you more than life itself, Eliza. A heartbreaking but joyful kind of love that sometimes sends me crazy." Running my thumb across her knuckles, her eyes find mine. "I had everything I could ever possibly want in my life before I met you, but you came along and you totally flipped everything I'd ever known on its head. You made me feel for the first time in forever. You made me want something other than my career and lonely nights. You made me want love and _only_ your love."

"Arizo-"

Holding up my hand, she cuts herself off and gives me a sad smile. Unshed tears in her eyes. "I was happy as I was. Well, I'd like to believe I was, but that night when you walked into that bar, I couldn't take my eyes off of you. I knew I had to know you. I knew I had to touch you…even if only once. I knew that I had to have you in my life and it was the best decision I ever made." Taking her other hand in my own, she furrows her brow and I simply smile. It's all I can do because whether this woman accepts or rejects my proposal, it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter because I'm here with her and this is the most real thing I've ever felt in my life. "You have so much to give and you have so much about you, but you chose me. You chose me to hold you. To kiss you. To love you. You chose me and I still wake up every morning shocked that you did so. I still wake up every morning and thank whoever is up there watching over me for bringing you into my life." Dropping her hands, I cup her face and a single tear slips down her face. "When I say I love you, I mean it like never before. I mean it because I've never ever felt this way about anyone in my life and I know I never will again. You are it for me, Eliza. You are it, and then some. You are the strongest person I know, and I'm proud of you every single day for one reason or another."

Closing my eyes and taking a breath, I remove my hands from her gorgeous face and slip my right hand into my pocket. Removing myself from my seat, I open my eyes and she has a look of total confusion on her face. Taking the box in the palm of my hand, she releases a gasp and I drop to my knees in front of her. "This could all be gone tomorrow, Eliza, but I know that you will still be by my side. You have shown me time and time again that you are here to stay and you have shown me that your love for me will always trump anything else we could ever possibly face. Nothing and no one could ever compare to you, and I know that I will never have anyone else in my life. You are all I see. You are all I breathe. You are all I want. I know as your girlfriend I've messed up in the past, but as your wife, I will do everything in my power to show you that I'm the only one for you. As your wife, I will be everything you could ever want or need." Her eyes studying my face, I'm not entirely sure she is hearing what I'm saying. "Marry me, Eliza…Marry me and make me the _happiest_ woman in the world."

Her shoulders shaking, sobs wrack her body and I know I've just totally messed this up. Standing, she pulls me up to my feet and nuzzles her face in the crook of my neck. _This isn't good. Fuck!_ Holding her, her sobs eventually subside and she pulls back to find my eyes. "Y-You want _me_ to be your wife?" She asks. "M-Me?"

"I do." Running my thumb along her cheek, she closes her eyes and leans into my touch. "I'll only _ever_ want you to be my wife, Eliza."

"Y-Yes." She speaks, barely above a whisper.

"Y-You…" Furrowing my brow, my smile widens. "You said yes."

"I did." Her own smile appearing, she pulls me into her body and her lips find mine just like they always do. My head spinning and the world crashing around me, I pull back and she gives me a full smile. "I'd love to be your wife." Removing the ring from its box, I slip it on her finger and she wipes away the tears from her jawline. "Wow." Her breath catching in her throat, she shakes her head a little and cups my face with both hands. "You are incredible, Arizona, and you are mine."

"Forever…" I smile. "Always and forever."

"I wouldn't want it to be any other way." She pulls me against her and brings her lips up to my ear. "Always and forever.

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. I felt it appropriate to do this chapter now. Our ladies have had a tough time lately.**

 **Reviews are welcome as always.**


	54. Chapter 54

**I own nothing. All characters/storylines belong to Shonda. I'm simply 'borrowing' them.**

* * *

Chapter Fifty-Four

* * *

ELIZA'S POV

* * *

I'm sitting on the London Eye and right now I don't know what to do with myself. I mean, I'm going to become someone's wife and I never imagined that would happen. At least, not willingly. My life has changed so much in the past six months or so that I haven't even had time to step back and think of everything that has happened. I'd like to. I'd like to take a moment to think about my recent past, but I don't have time. I never seem to have time. I don't think I've had a single opportunity to sit down with my own thoughts since I met Arizona. I'm not complaining, far from it, actually...but this has been the very definition of a whirlwind. Everything about my life lately has been a whirlwind. From moving to New York and meeting Arizona in a local bar, to my mom removing me from her life, to Hawaii, Cuba, Alexis. I can't even think straight right now. I have no words.

At the time of those things happening, I wasn't sure Arizona and I would ever make it, but when I look back now...how could we not have made it? How could we have ever walked away from one another? Everyone knows we love each other more than anything in this world, but honestly, we were made for each other. She was always supposed to come into my life. I was always supposed to apply for that job. Just...everything has happened how it was supposed to. Regardless of how hurt I was when my mom walked out of my life, everything is how it should be. I'd love for her to be happy for me, but that isn't ever going to happen. She wasn't happy when I was in her life, so she isn't going to be happy for me now that I'm out of it. I came to terms with that long before I met Arizona. I came to terms with that way back when I was still living in Detroit.

I don't even know where she is or if she is well, and yeah...that hurts a little. It hurts because she brought me into this world and she should be in my life. I know it won't ever happen, but that doesn't mean I can't be upset about it. It doesn't mean I can't wish that she may one day accept me for who I am. Shaking myself from my thoughts and impending emotional state, I glance to my right and find Arizona grinning from ear to ear at the view in front of her. She loves this. Anything involving pretty buildings is her kinda thing...obviously. It's why I brought her up here. I knew she would love it. "You know, I could watch that smile on your face forever."

"Come and see this view, Eliza." Motioning me over, I stand and close the distance between us. "It's beautiful." Taking my hand in her own, she tugs me closer and wraps her arm around my waist. "Don't you think?"

"Yeah." I give her a nod and my voice breaks a little.

"Hey, what's up?" She furrows her brow and turns to face me fully.

"Nothing." I wave off her comment. "Just busy with my own thoughts. I'm sorry."

"Is it anything you want to talk about?"

"No, not right now." I give her a genuine smile. "Just...enjoy the view. It's awesome."

"Stand with me?" She suggests.

"Sure. I'd love to." Turning and facing out at the London skyline, she wraps her arms around my waist from behind and rests her chin on my shoulder. I can feel her heart beating against my body and it only makes me smile harder than I was a little while ago. "I can't believe I'm going to be your wife." Resting my hands against her own, I lace our fingers together and she sighs against my neck. "I never thought I'd ever feel this way about anyone. I never thought I was allowed."

"Baby…" she breathes against my neck. "You can do anything you like. You are free to do as you please...don't ever forget that."

"And you showed me that." I turn my head a little and she places a kiss on my cheek. "You showed me exactly how it feels to be loved, Arizona."

"And I always will." She smiles. "I promise."

"You made me the happiest woman in the world today," I admit. "Thank you for never giving up on me. Thank you for believing that I deserved to be in your amazing life."

"You make my life amazing by being in it, Eliza, so don't ever thank me…" Her lips pressing against my neck, her hands slip beneath my jacket and rest against my stomach. "I should be thanking you for turning my life around."

"No, please don't." I shake my head. "We are here…together, and exactly where we should be. That is enough for me. I don't need your thanks, but I do appreciate it."

"I cannot wait to spend the rest of my life with you…it's going to be amazing." Her breath washing over my skin, I shudder and tighten my grip on her hands that are around my waist. Holding me in place. Securely. Safely. Forever.

* * *

Reaching our hotel room, Arizona pulls me inside and her lips attach to my neck before the door has even closed. I've wanted her all day, but my mind is so full right now that I just need to sit for five minutes and mull over the day's events. I just need to be in my thoughts and move on. "Arizona…" I breathe out as she forces me further into the room.

"What is it, beautiful?" Her tongue working its way down my neck, I pull back and cup her face with both hands.

"I love you, and I want you, but I just need a minute…" Her brow furrowed, I give her a sad smile.

"Right…I'm so sorry." She releases me from her grip, steps back and clears her throat. "I just…I'll leave you alone for a little while."

"No, stay." I smile. "I just need to give myself a moment to think, is all."

"T-Think about what?" She stutters.

"My life." I laugh. "I'm going to marry a multi-millionaire and I've come from nothing. I just need five to process things." I do. I cannot believe what I'm about to do, but it's happening…I'm going to marry Arizona Robbins. Can I believe it? No. If it didn't feel so real, I'd laugh and tell her not to be so ridiculous. I'd tell her she was crazy. Crazy she may be…but she's my kind of crazy and I wouldn't want any of this to be _any_ other way. It's perfect, and just…us. My hands fisted in her shirt, I pull her closer to me and she gives me a genuine smile. "You are crazy…" I admit. "Completely batshit crazy…" I laugh. "But I love you, and you love me."

"That I definitely do." She gives me a nod in agreement and I back up a little, my legs connecting with the end of the bed. Falling down, I pull my _fiancé_ down on top of me and she settles between my legs. "Did you only just discover that I'm crazy?" She furrows her brow as she runs her fingers through my hair, scratching my scalp as she does. _That feels amazing._ "Really?"

"You're my crazy so it wasn't as obvious, I guess." Shrugging, I pull her down into a kiss, my hands still fisted in the soft material covering her beautiful body. "I can't quite believe any of this." I shake my head and a slight blush creeps up my neck. "I cannot you want me to be your wife, Arizona."

Lifting her hand, she places it against my face and I lean into her touch. Her blue eyes piercing through my soul, she grazes her thumb across my cheek and smiles. "Well, you better believe it, beautiful. I wouldn't want to share my life with anyone else."

"How do you do that?" I sigh. "How do you make me feel incredible when I'm in your arms?"

"Because you make me feel incredible, Eliza. You always have." She admits. "Even when things got rocky, I could still feel how you made me feel. Deep inside, I could feel every emotion you had ever brought out of me."

"Did you think we would ever make it this far?" I ask, genuinely intrigued to know how she is feeling. "Did you think that night I met you in the bar…we would become this?"

"Honestly?" She raises an eyebrow. "Yes."

"Y-You did?"

"I did because I felt that connection when you shook my hand. I felt the goosebumps prick my skin as you breathed against my ear. I felt everything, Eliza. Everything." The honesty in her words is obvious and honestly, I thought I was the only one who felt that spark between us. "Then you demanded you come back to my place…and I knew you weren't like any of the others. The way you touched me…" She smiles. "The way you took control and worshipped my body…" Her eyes closing as she memorizes our first night together, I can't help but smile. "Wow." She breathes out. "Just…I knew."

"Do you have any idea how beautiful you are?" I smile as she presses her body against my own. "Do you realize what a beautiful person you are?"

"You brought that out of me." She states as she tilts her head a little. "You brought so much out of me, and that's just one more thing I love about you." Shifting a little, she rests her head in the palm of her hand and grazes her fingertips against my slightly exposed collarbone. "I love so much about you, Eliza."

"Thank you for seeing me." I sigh as she works her magic on my skin. "Thank you for noticing me. Giving me the chance when at times I deserved nothing from you."

"I don't think I could have ever walked away from you." She shakes her head. "You are something else Eliza Minnick, and I'm still figuring you out."

"Do you think your mom will be happy?" I ask.

"Mom will be beside herself. I can promise you that." She smiles. "Should we call her?"

"We?" I furrow my brow.

"Yes…we." She pulls her cell from her back pocket and rolls off of me. Her back hitting the mattress beside me. "She loves you, Eliza, and she will be thrilled to hear from us both. And, everything is about to become _we_ so why not begin that right now?" She raises her eyebrow.

"Sure, okay." Smiling, I shift a little closer to her and she brings up her mom's contact information. Hitting FaceTime, that familiar call sound flows through the air and her mom appears on the screen in front of us…a sandy white beach in the background.

"Mom!" Arizona yells. "Where the hell are you?"

"Antigua, sweetie." Holding up her cocktail, Arizona shakes her head and laughs. "Eliza, honey…so good to see you." She throws me a wave.

"Hey, Mrs. Robbins." I wave back. "Enjoying yourself?"

"Well…" She shrugs. "I've had better cocktails, but I guess I can't complain."

"No, Mom." Arizona laughs. "But I don't think the rest of the beach heard you if you want to say it a little louder!" Trying to hold back my laughter, I could watch these two interact all day. They're more like sisters than mother and daughter. "Hey, Mom…uh, could you take a look at Eliza's hand? Something isn't right."

"What am I?" She laughs. "A doctor!"

"Mom, just take a look…please?" Rolling her eyes, she turns to me and I chew on my bottom lip. Holding up my left hand, Barbara's eyes widen and she drops her cocktail to the floor. "Mom?"

"Sweet Jesus, Arizona!" Her hand covering her mouth, I can see the unshed tears desperately wishing to spill out. "My baby is getting married?" She cries. "Look…" Tilting her screen, one of her waiters suddenly appears beside her and I don't even know what to do. "Miguel, my Arizona is getting married. _That_ is her beautiful fiancé. Isn't she beautiful, Miguel?"

"Very beautiful, Mrs. Robbins." The camera switching back to Arizona's mom, I'm mortified. Who the hell is Miguel? Does he even know who Arizona is? I'm totally lost right now.

"Oh, I'm so happy for you both." Barbara places her hand against her chest and gives us a genuine smile. "My baby is finally happy, and I couldn't wish for a better person to come into our lives, Eliza."

My own emotions close to getting the better of me, I drop my gaze and clear my throat. "Thank you, Barbara." Arizona's hand lacing with my own between our bodies, she grips it a little tighter and runs her thumb across my knuckles. "Enjoy the rest of your vacation." I smile.

"Mom, I'll call you when we are home." Arizona gives her mom a dimpled smile and Barbara slowly nods. I think she may be a little lost for words right now, but I get that. I am, too.

"Goodbye, girls." She waves. "I love you _both_." The screen turning black, Arizona glances my way and I'm trying to take in the world I've just heard. _Arizona's mom loves me? How?_

"See…" My fiancé throws me a wink. "Told you she would be happy."

Giving her a nod, I close my eyes and give myself a moment to process what is happening here. I may have lost one family, but I've gained another and my mother in law to be has just told me that she loves me. I'm not sure my own mother ever told me she loved me, so yeah…this feels kinda weird right now. Kinda weird…but kinda great. "I don't know what I'd do without you sometimes." I sigh. "This is completely not how I saw my future."

"You deserve the world, Eliza…and I'm going to give it to you."

Her head coming to rest against my chest, I can feel my heart pounding but it feels good. It tells me that my heart is completely intact after the crazy day I've had. It tells me that it beats for Arizona and only her. My life may have turned completely on its head, but it feels like it should. I feel like I should be in her arms. I feel like she should be resting against me. It may have flipped the totally opposite way, but look how amazing it is? Look how unbelievably happy I am in every aspect of my life. I may not have my family around me, and I probably never will, but Arizona is my family. Arizona is my home. My comfort. My safety. So long as she is in my life…nothing and nobody else matters. They don't matter because this woman loves me. Me…Eliza Minnick. Yeah, she does and it feels amazing.

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 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome as always. Thanks for the great response to the last chapter.**


	55. Chapter 55

*****NOT SAFE FOR WORK*****

 **I own nothing. All characters/storylines belong to Shonda. I'm simply 'borrowing' them.**

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Chapter Fifty-Five

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ARIZONA'S POV

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I have so much to do. So much planning and making our wedding perfect. There are people I need to contact and people I need to keep away and right now…my head is super full. I know nothing will be happening just yet in terms of the wedding, but I'm a planner and I'm an organizer and yeah…that all began the moment Eliza agreed to marry me. Even if just in my mind. I mean, I'm going to assume she wants a big wedding. Who doesn't? She deserves a big wedding. She deserves all of the attention to be on her. I have enough attention in my life, and right now…that is good enough for me. I want to put out a statement, but I'm not sure how my fiancé would feel about that. I'll talk to her first. I know I have to call Teddy and tell her, and Eliza has to call Jo, but everybody else will find out via the media. I don't have time to tell those that I'm not overly close to, and I'm not sure I want to. Most people in my life are simply distant friends and colleagues. Clients, even. I don't really have anyone I need to tell myself. Eliza, though…she may have different ideas.

Slowly climbing from our bed, I grab my cell from the nightstand and hit a familiar number. I have to call Teddy. I've been desperate to call her since last night. The plan had been to take my fiancé out to dinner but she seemed a little quieter than I expected her to be, so instead, we stripped off our clothes, rented a movie, and ate our body weight in Italian food. It was perfect. I may have wanted to rip her clothes from her body the second we got back to our room, but I understood when she said she needed a little time to process everything. I haven't processed it myself yet, but I've done enough thinking over the past few weeks to know that I've made the right decision. I've done enough thinking to know that I will always want Eliza Minnick on my arm. She just…she gets me, you know? Everything I am, she gets. She knows when I need a little time to myself. She knows when I'm having a bad day. If I'm feeling stressed she is more than happy to take care of me and my mental health. She's amazing, and I know that putting that ring on her finger was the best decision I ever made.

Glancing over at my sleeping fiancé, her engagement ring shines as the early morning sun hits it and it causes my stomach to flip. Her bronzed back on show for me to see, she is flat out on her stomach with a crisp white sheet barely covering her ass. _God, she is breathtaking._ I don't know the last time I ever saw a woman so beautiful both inside and out. Too often I've found myself faced with a gorgeous woman…only their personality was ugly. So ugly that it seeped right through and put me off for life.

My Eliza isn't like that. She has a heart of absolute gold and her looks are irrelevant. Well, they're irrelevant when she isn't lying naked beside me. Do I struggle to keep my hands to myself? Yes. Every single day. I don't know why I find her so enticing, but I do and I wouldn't ever want her to change. Her head turned slightly on her pillow, her profile is slightly guarded by her gorgeous dark hair and it only makes her even more intriguing that I already find her. Like, if I'd just brought her back here for a night of hot sex, I'd be worried about her walking out of my life. She often has that look in her eyes. That one that you can't quite figure out but you know it's nothing to worry about. That look that could melt your heart, but turn you stone cold all at once.

I know differently, though. I know exactly who she is. I know exactly what she is about. She is about love and commitment. Trust and happiness. She would never hurt me. I know that. I know that she will always have my back, and when she needs me…she knows I'd do anything for her. She knows I'd protect her at all costs. Whatever it takes.

Watching as she stirs a little, the sheet covering her lower half slips further down and I swear all breath leaves my body. _Stunning._ Everything about this woman has me in a constant state of arousal, but I'm not concerned. So long as I'm the only one turning her on, and vice versa, how could I ever be concerned? How could I ever imagine the love and intimacy lessening between us? It's simply not possible.

Trying to pull myself away from my very personal and private thoughts, I hit the call button on my cell and move further into our suite. I don't want to wake my sleeping beauty just yet, but I have to speak to my best friend. I have to tell someone other than my mother that I'm going to be the happiest woman in the world. That I _am_ the happiest woman in the world. My call connecting, Teddy groans and I can't help the smile on my face.

"Robbins, you better be calling me to bail you out of prison or I swear I'm going to hit the fucking roof."

"Um, I think I'd be the one bailing _you_ out." I laugh. "And don't be so rude to your best friend."

"Seriously, what do you want?" She growls. "It's 3am... in case you forgot."

"Oh, shit." I laugh. "Right, time difference."

"Yeah…the small matter of time difference." she sighs. "Anyway, I'm awake so what is it?"

"I'm engaged," I reply, nonchalantly. "Figured you'd want to know…"

"Y-You're getting married?" She laughs. "You? Arizona Robbins?"

"I am." I smile to myself as I take in my very naked view of Eliza. "You could sound a little happier."

"Oh, I am." She agrees. "I'm really happy for you. Just…never pictured you doing the whole wedding thing."

"Well, picture it, Altman, because it's happening."

"Did you say yes right away or did you have to think about it for five?" She asks.

"I asked her, Teddy. I just…I had to." I sigh. "I've been thinking about it for weeks and it had to be now."

"That's awesome, Arizona. I'm really happy for you guys."

"Thanks." I breathe out. I want to ask how everything is going with Alexis, but it will only bring the mood down. I really don't need that right now so I'm saying nothing. That woman can take a hike for all I care. "I guess I'll see you when we get home."

"You will." She agrees. "Did um, did you want me to get any paperwork set up for you? You know…"

"Paperwork for what?" I furrow my brow.

"For you guys." She says, a little hesitantly. "For the wedding…"

"Okay, you've totally lost me."

"Prenup, Arizona. Do you want me to write up a freaking prenup agreement?"

"Uh, no." I laugh. "Why would I want you to do anything like that?"

"Because you have _a lot_ of money and you are my best friend." She scoffs. "It's the right thing to do. You know, just in case…"

"Just in case what?" I spit. "Just in case my wife fucks me over and takes half of everything I have?"

"Well, yeah." She laughs. "Look, we will discuss it when you get back, okay? Just enjoy the rest of your trip. Everything is fine here."

"No, we won't discuss it when I get back." I'm a little hurt that she would think that of Eliza, but she's a lawyer and she is always in work mode so I guess I kinda understand. I'm still a little mad at her right now, though. "See you next week." Ending the call, I power my cell off and leave it on the kitchen counter. I've enjoyed blocking the world out since we arrived in London and I plan on that continuing.

Slowly creeping over to the only woman who will ever have my heart, I slip my panties from my body and lean over, placing a kiss below her ear. "Wake up, beautiful."

"Mm...don't wanna." She mumbles against her pillow.

"But I'm about to take a shower and I'd _love_ it if you could join me." My words low, goosebumps appear on my fiancé's naked body and I smile. "Our first shower as an engaged couple could be something really special." I breathe against her ear.

A small smile creeping onto her face, she turns her head a little more and moans when she finds me standing in front of her completely naked. "Well, I uh…" Clearing her throat, her eyes ghost over my body and she bites down on her bottom lip. "...when you put it like that, I guess you could be right." Running the back of her hand up the inside of my thigh, she gauges my reaction and she knows exactly what she is doing. "You look like you're getting a little cold, too, so we should probably get to it."

Climbing from the bed, she takes my hands in her own and places soft kisses down my neck. "I wouldn't want my fiancé to ever be cold…" Taking my earlobe between her teeth, I tilt my head a little and she sucks on that sweet spot that drives me insane time and time again. "Beautiful." She smiles against my skin. One hand coming to rest against my hip, she releases my other hand and her own drops and slips between my legs. "And wet." She smiles into a kiss and sucks my bottom lip into her mouth. Her breasts pressing against my own, my body is experiencing every sensation imaginable right now. She knows exactly how to work me, and I wouldn't ever want anyone else standing in front of me. Pushing my body back a little, she doesn't take her eyes off of my own and my body connects with the bathroom door. "Get inside, Arizona…"

"I thought you'd never ask." Smirking, my hand finds the door handle and I push it open. The light illuminating the room, she turns me around and her lips instantly find the back of my neck. Her own center now pressing against my ass, my back arches and she brings her hands around to the front of my body. Pinching and tugging at my nipples, my fingers find her hair and my grip tightens a little. "Fuck…" One hand now trailing down the inside of my arm, my legs begin to weaken and I'm doing everything I can right now not to touch myself. She's creating some amazing sensations and I'm not even sure we will make it to the shower. Pushing me forward a little, she traps my body between the sink and her own, and I glance up to find her staring at me through the mirror. "You are beyond hot right now," I smirk.

Brushing my hair from the side of my neck, I watch as her tongue runs up my skin and along the shell of my ear. "Maybe the shower could wait a little while longer…" Her words barely above a whisper, fresh arousal floods between my legs and I think she may be right. If she is going to do what I think she's about to do, there is no way I'm getting in that shower. Watching her make me feel good through the mirror is turning me on like never before and honestly, I'm so ready for her. "Spread them, and bend over." Inching my legs apart, she pushes herself against me and the cold porcelain presses against my stomach causing my breath to catch in my throat. Her hand coming to rest between my shoulder blades, she pushes my body forward and I bend at the hip. "Perfect." She whispers as she places light kisses down my spine. "So fucking perfect."

"Take me, Eliza." My eyes never leaving her own via our reflections, she bites down on her bottom lip and her right hand disappears between our bodies. "Take me like you need me."

"I'll always need you…" Her words swirling around the space we are sharing, I release a moan when her fingers connect with my clit from behind. "And your body will always need me." Her hand fisting in my hair, she pulls my head back a little and gives me a smile. "Watch." _Okay this is way more than hot right now._ Running her fingers through my folds, I watch myself in the mirror as my own eyes darken and my facial features change. I can't say I've ever watched myself come, but it's going to be an experience, that's for sure. Her grip in my hair tightening, she slips two fingers deep inside of me and my mouth falls open. Bracing myself on my forearms, a slight smirk forms on my face when she raises her eyebrow. "You will watch me fuck you, Arizona…don't even think about closing those beautiful blue eyes."

"Mm…" I give her a slight nod and my eyes close momentarily as she hits deeper with every thrust. "So good…" I breathe out. My head dropping on my shoulders a little, she tugs at my hair and I glance up at her.

"I said watch."

"Fuck." My eyes rolling, it takes everything within me to not allow my orgasm to take over me right now. I love when she controls me. I love when she takes me and her sole focus is on me. It's hot and something I don't think I could ever live without. "H-Harder." I pant as she slams home repeatedly. I know she loves it when I demand more, and right now I can see that she is struggling to keep this game up. She wants me to fuck her just as good, but when Eliza sets her mind to it… She will finish it. Another thing I love about her. Slipping a third finger deep inside of me, I bend a little more but my eyes are focused on the woman behind me. My mind is focused on everything she is doing to me. "Y-Yes…" I hiss as she curls her fingers. "Oh God." My stomach tightening, she releases her grip on my hair and dips her hand around to the front of my thighs. Her fingertips reaching my throbbing clit, she smiles as my legs shake a little.

"Shit…" Her breath catching in her throat as my body sucks her fingers deeper, it's becoming harder to move inside of me. "So tight." She groans as she steps to the side of me and concentrates on my impending orgasm. Watching as she slips in and out of me, she bites down so hard on her lip that I think she may have just drawn blood. "Fuck, Arizona." She moans as her fingers push inside of me. Her hand disappearing from my clit, she sinks her nails in my ass and it only opens me up to her even more. "Touch yourself." She demands.

 _This is hot. So hot._ Watching myself being pounded against the bathroom sink, my fingertips connect with my clit and I know I'm going to come harder than I have in my entire life. "Yes…" I throw my head back on my shoulders and my knees begin to shake. "Fuck me good, Eliza." Her arm picking up speed, my own hand works its magic between my legs and my chest heaves as my body desperately begs for release. "I need you." I moan as that burning increases in the pit of my stomach. Her teeth sinking into my shoulder, that's me done. Finished. I cannot hold on any longer.

A scream ripping from my throat, she doesn't let up and I ride out my orgasm like never before. "Oh god." I whimper. "Fuck." My hand gripping her wrist from behind as her fingers are still buried deep inside of me, I still her movements but she continues to slowly massage my walls. Pulling my body up and against her own, I don't want to, but I can't help but grind down against her fingers that are hitting deeper than ever before. "God, I love you." I moan as her lips attach to my neck. "So fucking much." Slowly grinding down, my left arm wraps around her neck from behind and she rests her head in the crook of my neck. My eyes opening, I find her staring back at me through the mirror and she has the most amazing smile on her face…as do I.

"You've no idea how beautiful you are when I'm fucking you like that." Her words low, she showers my neck with soft kisses and I can't believe this woman is in my life. I can't believe I'm the one who got her and gets to keep her. To know that she will one day become my wife makes me want her to take me all over again but right now this is perfect. How we are is perfect. "I love you." She smiles as she slowly slips out of me. Whimpering at the loss of contact I'm feeling, she runs her fingertips up my stomach before taking them between her lips. "Mm…" She moans. "My fiancé tastes _amazing_ this morning."

"Wow…" I breathe out as I watch her hand come to rest against my hip. "You know…we look pretty fucking hot together." Watching each other's reflections, she gives me a nod and smiles.

"I know." She places a kiss below my ear. "And for the record…I will always fuck you like the world is about to end…" Sighing, she tightens her grip on my waist. "But I will never fuck you over. Not now…and not as your wife."

 _Fuck. She heard what I said to Teddy…_

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome as always.**


	56. Chapter 56

*****NOT SAFE FOR WORK*****

 **I own nothing. All characters/storylines belong to Shonda. I'm simply 'borrowing' them.**

* * *

Chapter Fifty-Six

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ELIZA'S POV

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I'm watching my fiancé's reaction to what I've just said through the mirror, and honestly…I'm not quite sure what she is thinking. I know she would never have a prenup written up for us, but someone seems to think it's appropriate. That someone being Teddy. I get it, okay? I'm the one who has come from nothing. I'm the one who didn't have a dime when I moved to New York. So, yeah…I totally get it. Teddy is just looking out for Arizona's best interests, and I cannot be mad about that. I never would be mad about it, regardless of whether she is indirectly suggesting that I'm with Arizona for her money. I'm sure her best friend is used to seeing people come and go because of my gorgeous woman's status, but I'm not one of those people. I have never been, and I never will be. I love Arizona for who she is. I love her for the way she makes me feel protected and cared for. I love her for her honesty and trust in our relationship. I love her for her love. That's all there really is to it. That's all there will ever be to it.

"I-I…" Her gaze dropping, she tries to wriggle out of my embrace but I keep my arms firmly around her midsection. "I didn't, I mean…"

"Hey…" Brushing her hair from her shoulder, I place a soft kiss against her skin and her head lifts a little. "I'm just telling you that you don't have to worry about my intentions, okay?"

"I don't worry about your intentions." She sighs. "I've never worried about them."

"But Teddy does." I give her a knowing look.

"Yeah, well Teddy isn't in this relationship, Eliza. It's just you and I." She shakes her head and steps away from me. "I didn't mean for you to hear what I said. I was only repeating what Teddy was thinking."

"I know that." Gripping her wrist, I stop her from leaving the bathroom and she turns to face me. "I just wanted you to know that I'm here because I love you…not your bank balance."

"Yeah…" She breathes out. "I know."

"But do you?" I narrow my eyes and pull her into my body. "Do you really know how much I love you?"

"I-I think so." She furrows her brow. "Just…I wasn't agreeing with what she said, okay? And for the record…there will be no prenup agreement at any point of our relationship."

"I think you should have one written up," I state. I don't know how well she is going to take what I've just said, but I guess it makes sense. I mean, I don't want her money, so to be clear that everyone is on the same page…an agreement should be written up. "Just think about it, okay?"

"There's nothing to think about." She scoffs. "Nothing at all."

"Look, when people get a hint of who I am, what I've come from…they will talk about it. They will talk about us. When the media gets wind of how I grew up, and they will, it will show the world that I love you and I don't want anything of yours."

"No." She shakes her head. "That isn't happening."

"Wouldn't it make things easier?" I ask. "Wouldn't it stop the rumors and the accusations?"

"No. It will make people believe that I don't trust you." She runs her thumb across my bottom lip. "Down the line, it may even make you believe that I don't trust you…and I do. Eliza, I trust you with my life."

"Think about it, is all I'm asking."

"And all I'm asking is that you forget about it." She smiles. Her body pressing against my own, her tongue runs across my bottom lip and slips inside my mouth. Tweaking my nipple, she pushes me further back against the wall and my body connects with the cool tiles. "Just stop worrying about it." Her lips trailing my neck, she sucks on my pulse point and I know she is anything but done in this bathroom. I know I've just fucked her good, but I figured I'd lowered the mood. Clearly, I haven't. At least, she isn't showing it if I have. "If I want you to have what belongs to me…you will." Turning me in her arms, she guides me closer to the bathtub and her fingertips trail up my stomach. "After all, you belong to me, Eliza."

 _And here it comes…_ Placing her hand flat between my shoulders blades, she pushes my body forward and I find myself bent over the tub in no time at all. "Arizona…" I breathe out as she forces her center against me. "Baby…"

"You also don't get to talk anymore." Her hand running over my shoulder, she brings it around to the front and covers my mouth. "I want silence, Eliza…got it?"

Giving her a slight nod, my eyes close and she grinds against my ass. Deciding to play with her a little, I bite down on the palm of her hand and it only causes her to thrust harder against me. I may be silenced right now, but I'll still make her want me without my words. I know what control does to her, and she can have all the control she wants right now. _Or so she thinks._ Gripping my hip with her free hand, she pulls me back a little and my hands grip the edge of the bathtub. Her nails digging into my skin, I inch my legs further apart and I know she is smiling right now. She is too quiet for my liking, so I know she is taking in the view I'm providing her with. I know she is salivating. "Fuck…" Her words barely above a whisper, she runs a single finger through my soaked core and hums in appreciation. Her hand disappearing from my mouth, she drops to her knees behind me and blows against my throbbing sex. "Someone got a little heated before, huh?" Smirking as she places kisses up the inside of my thigh, I have to bite down on my bottom lip to keep me from moaning.

Her tongue teasing my entrance, she dips inside a little and my knees almost buckle. She knows I'm desperate for her. She has to. I mean, I can feel my own arousal on my thighs so yeah, she knows I need her. "Arizona…" I moan as she grazes her fingertip over my clit. "Please?"

"Please what?" She smirks as she opens me up a little more, her nails now digging into my ass. "Speak now or shut up, Eliza."

"Please take me." I whimper as she drags her finger down the length of my sex before slipping it inside of me. "Give me more and fuck me, Arizona." Glancing over my shoulder as she gets back up to her feet, she raises an eyebrow and I'm not sure I've ever seen this look from her. I don't know what it is, but its like…animalistic. She looks like she is about to end my life, but wow…what an amazing way to go. "Please…" I grind down against her hand and she pulls away.

"You want more?" She asks as she brings her lips up to my ear. "Or you _need_ more?"

"N-Need," I whisper as she runs her tongue up her fingers. "Fuck, I'll always need more of you." I moan as my eyes close.

"Need me where?" She asks as she releases her fingers with a pop.

"Deep inside of me." Her hand running down my spine, soft fingertips connect with my arousal once again and my breath catches in my throat. "So fucking deep," I beg.

"You'll get what you are given, and you will be happy with it." She smiles. Two fingers slipping inside me, I groan and force my ass back against her hand. A third finger added with ease, I hum in appreciation and she drags her fingers down my walls. "Now, are you going to let me fuck you how I please or are you going to suggest an agreement to go with it?"

"N-No…" I drop my head on my shoulders. "No agreement needed here."

"Mm…thought as much." Her fingers almost slipping out of me, she slams back into me and my body is forced forward. "I'll do what I want, Eliza…and nobody is going to tell me any different. You included." Her thrusts reaching deeper with every movement, my body begins to take over from my mind and I allow it to. I don't want to come yet, but this woman does unimaginable things to my body and it just goes against me. It always does. "If I want to share everything I own with you…I will." Her free hand weaving between my legs, she presses her finger against my clit but there is no movement. She knows I need the added pressure. She knows I need her to touch me, but she isn't. "If I want to share my life with you…I will." Slight circles forming against my clit, she places a kiss on my shoulder and smiles against my skin. "And…if I want to fuck you better than ever before…" Her breath washing over the back of my neck, my body shudders. "I will. Over and over and over again…" Picking up her pace, she pounds me good and I'm not sure I can hold on much longer. My body slumping a little against the cold porcelain, she lifts my ass a little and works my clit just how I like it.

"F-Fuck…" My thighs trembling, she curls her fingers and fresh arousal floods from my body. Working me as good as ever, she doesn't let up. "Y-Yeah, right there…shit." Biting down on my bottom lip, I give myself to her completely. "God, you fuck me so good." My words hitting her, it only causes her to give it to me harder than ever before. A fourth finger filling me completely, all breath leaves my body and my orgasm builds quicker with every thrust.

"I'll always fuck you good…" Her lips attaching to my neck, she bites down against my skin before sucking gently. "Now…I need you to come for me, beautiful." She whispers. "I need to feel you release around me." A final thrust as she hits that spot, my mouth falls open and my head drops between my arms which are resting on the edge of the tub. "That's it…come hard, Eliza."

"Oh god…" Pulling me up against her body, her fingers still buried deep inside of me, my hand rests over her own and I add a little pressure to my already sensitive clit. "Fuck, Arizona…that feels amazing." My body writhing against her own, her lips work magic over my skin and my own rhythm begins to slow a little. "You feel so good against me when we are like this."

"I couldn't agree more." She breathes against my ear. "Everything about us is perfect."

* * *

Taking a walk along the River Thames, Arizona laces our fingers together and it feels good. It feels like it always should. I know this morning was amazing, but honestly…my body is so worn out right now that I could sleep for an entire week. Emotionally and physically drained, I'm not sure I have it in me to do much for the rest of the day. I'd thought about suggesting we hang back at the hotel, but we are on our first actual vacation together with no business interruptions, and I don't want to seem like I can't be bothered. I'll always be bothered where my fiancé is concerned, but I am struggling a little today, I won't lie. I know she senses that I'm a little off, but it's nothing for her to worry about. I just need to lie down on a comfortable bed and relax. I just need to sleep in her arms. Catching sight of a nearby bench, I pull her towards it and we both drop down. "Sorry, I just need a minute." I sigh.

"Is everything okay?" She furrows her brow, a little worry evident on her face.

"Yeah, just tired." I try to stifle a yawn but it's no use. "How are you not?"

"Oh, I am." She laughs. "I just thought you wanted to head out for the rest of the day." Shrugging, she settles back against the bench and looks out over the water. "Figured you didn't want to be stuck in that hotel room with me all day."

"You are joking, right?" I can't help the laugh that bubbles in my throat. "Why wouldn't I want to be stuck with you?"

"I don't know." She shrugs again.

"You know I'd happily spend the rest of my life in a confined space with you, right?" I raise an eyebrow. "If you want to head back we can."

"Yeah?" She smiles. "I'm not ruining this trip for us?"

"Not at all." I shake my head. "Lounging could be good for us." Placing a kiss below her ear, she smiles and pulls back. "You know, this morning was all kinds of hot, but I just want to feel you against me right now. Just…in bed, a movie, some snacks. How does that sound?"

"Sounds like a perfect idea with my ideal woman." Arizona agrees. "Was there anywhere you wanted to go on the way back?"

"No, I don't think so." I shrug. "I just want to lie in bed, if I'm being totally honest."

"Well, let's get back and do exactly that." Standing, she pulls me up to my feet and wraps her arm around my waist. It's a little cold in London today, but from what she has told me, I'm lucky I've not experienced the wind and the rain since we've been here. The UK is known for it, apparently. It's early November, and the realization that we are going to spend Christmas together has just hit me. Well, I think we are, anyway. I don't have anyone else to spend it with, but Arizona may have some sort of tradition that she and her family have stuck too. _Maybe I'll bring it up later._

I can't say I've ever really had any sort of tradition. The past few years I've just done my own thing and usually spent it with Jo. It's not like my mom even noticed I'd left the house so no, I won't miss anything about my Christmases at home. Nothing at all.

Working our way through the streets of London, my mind takes me to Arizona's Christmas gifts. Like, what do you even buy the woman who literally has everything she could ever possibly want or need? I mean, it's true…my fiancé had _everything._ Great, I'm going to be the lame one who gives their other half complete shit because it's better than nothing. I'm going to be the one who hands over vouchers because I was fresh out of ideas. _Don't fuck this Christmas up, Eliza. You cannot mess it up._ Tightening my grip on her hand, Arizona glances my way and throws me a wink. "I love you, Eliza…"

"I love you, too." Giving her my best smile, I try to hide the worry on my face but I'm pretty sure the world can see it right now. I don't want to be a screw-up. I dealt with that enough growing up. Arizona is sophisticated and high end. Me? I'm just poor from Detroit.

* * *

Settled back in our hotel room, Arizona has her head resting on my chest and I'm not sure I've ever felt this comfortable. My fingers running through her hair, my nails graze the back of her neck and she sighs into my chest. I know she loves being like this, and I know that this is when we are at our best. Just here, silently loving each other. Just here, being one and peacefully resting. It's perfect. It's us. It will _always_ be us. "You doing okay?" I ask as my fingers scratch at her scalp. Glancing up at me, her eyes are barely open and it makes me smile harder than I have all day. "You tired?"

"No, I'm just super relaxed." Her blue eyes shine and she is looking as beautiful as ever right now. "Are you okay?"

"Of course, I am." Giving her a small nod, her fingertips work the skin of my stomach and my body shivers a little. She knows that certain spot on my stomach that tickles a little more than in other places, and even though she knows I hate it, she can't help but graze her fingers across it every now and again. She can't help but watch me squirm a little as it sends my body crazy.

"Sorry." Giving me a small smile, I raise my eyebrow and she shrugs. "I just like you being ticklish."

"Yeah, I know." Rolling my eyes, she shifts up the bed a little and rests her head in the palm of her hand, her elbow propping her up. "What's up?" I can see that thoughtful look in her eyes and it makes me wonder a little.

"Just been thinking while we've been lay here." She shrugs.

"And…" I draw out.

"And I'm struggling to understand how I came to be in this hotel room with you. Just…like, how?" She wrinkles her nose a little. "I mean, I know how…but it's still a little weird you know. Even all of the time that has passed…it's just weird sometimes."

"Weird good or weird bad?" I furrow my brow.

"Weird _good_ you ass." Slapping my arm, I give her a knowing smile and she leans in a little, pressing a kiss to my lips. "I've already told you how completely different this has all been with you, but even just lying here with you like this makes me feel more loved than I've ever felt before. I may be repeating myself, but sometimes when I get the opportunity to think over things, my first thought is how unbelievably lucky I was to find you, Eliza. How lucky I was the night I walked in that bar and you looked my way. Nobody had looked my way in a long time. At least, not like you did. You know, I could just feel your eyes burning into my soul. I could feel the intrigue and the interested radiating from you."

"Yeah?" I smile as she runs her thumb across my bottom lip. "You felt that from me?"

"I did."

"Wow." I breathe out. "I didn't think I was capable of love and honestly…I wasn't quite sure how I felt about you that night I first met you. I mean, I could see that you were guarding yourself. I could see how you had been hurt and you were reluctant to open up, but I wasn't sure what it was about you that made me really look. The eyes are a given, but other than that…you were just a woman in a bar." I shrug. "A woman in a bar that I knew I had to know. A woman in a bar with the most beautiful yet heartbreaking smile."

"Yeah, I was a depressing bitch before you came into my life." She laughs and I roll my eyes. "No, I was, Eliza." She admits. "If I wasn't at home being miserable, I was out picking up women for a quick lay…" _Wow, she's being pretty honest right now._

"What made you quit that lifestyle?" I ask as I turn on my side to face her fully.

"I was tired of being the multi-millionaire who had it all but really had nothing." She shrugs. "I had all the money in the world. The amazing car. The gorgeous home. I just…I had no one to share it with. I didn't have that someone who I could come home to at night. I didn't have the love life to match everything else I had."

"I guess love is priceless, huh?" Trailing my fingertips down her bare arm, she smiles and closes her eyes.

"It is, baby." She nods. "It definitely is."

"Did you ever see me as being just another one night stand?"

"No. Never." She shakes her head. "You want to know why? Because that night when you followed me out of the bar…you said my name like I'd never heard it before. You said it like I meant something to you."

"You did mean something to me…" I smile. "I didn't even know you but I could feel myself becoming addicted just from the few words we had spoken."

"Yeah…and I could feel that, too." She agrees. "It was just how you followed me outside. How you stopped me from leaving how I had. Just…thank you for following me outside. Thank you for seeing something that nobody else had ever seen."

"And what's that?" I ask, my eyes narrowing a little.

"Me." Her voice breaking, she clears her throat and shakes herself from her emotions. "You saw me for who I am. You didn't see the car or the dollar signs. You didn't see the power and status behind my name. You just saw me. Nobody had ever come across that way. They all knew who I was. They all wanted everything other than me."

"I'll never be one of those people, Arizona."

"I know, beautiful." Running her thumb across my cheek, I lean into her touch and smile. "I know exactly who you are Eliza, and I wouldn't ever want you to change. I love everything about you. Absolutely everything." My heart bursting at how open and honest she is being right now, I cant pull my eyes away from her own. They're a particular blue that I've never really seen before, but god, they're beautiful. "You know what you mean to me and that will never lessen. Everything about you makes me fall in love with you all over again when I wake each morning and I know that we are going to always be amazing together."

"I've never heard anything so true in all of my life, Arizona." Pulling her into my arms, I fall back against the mattress and she wraps her arms painfully tight around me. Tonight isn't about sex and hot experiences. Tonight is about honesty and love. Nothing but pure love. It radiates from Arizona likes it's all she has ever known, and the more I think about her being alone before we met…the more it breaks my heart.

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 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome as always.**


	57. Chapter 57

**No guest…I haven't finished this fic. Hence why I didn't leave a note at the end. It's only been ONE WEEK since this was updated. Be thankful that I update as often as I do since quite a lot of writers update once a month if that! I do have a life outside of my writing.**

 **I own nothing. All characters/storylines belong to Shonda. I'm simply 'borrowing' them.**

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Chapter Fifty-Seven

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ARIZONA'S POV

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The last few days have been amazing. I mean, coming to London is always one of my favorite vacations, but having Eliza here has just made it even more perfect. Who'd have thought I'd be returning home to New York with a fiancé? Certainly not me. Sure, it had been on my mind for a while, but that didn't mean I had the balls to ask. It also didn't mean Eliza was going to say yes to me. I mean, I guess I always knew in the back of my mind that she would say yes, but there is always that doubt, right? Surely everyone has that doubt when they are preparing to propose to the love of their life. We wouldn't be human if we didn't doubt things. Last night was perfect. Just Eliza and I, in each other's arms and talking until the early hours of the morning. Sure, we could have turned our words into actions, but it was nice how we were. We don't need sex to explain how we feel about each other. We don't need to always be beneath each other all hours of the day. The sex was hot in the bathroom, but she is hot however she is behaving. Her mind is hot. Her thoughts are hot. Her smile is hot. My fiancé is just so freaking hot and I don't even know what to do with myself half of the time. I don't know whether to laugh or cry because she just makes me so happy.

I know that nobody will ever make me feel the way Eliza makes me feel, and I know that no matter what we face when we head back to New York, we will always come out on top. We will always come out stronger and more supportive of each other. It's just how we are. It's just the way it works. I don't know why it happens like it does, but it doesn't matter. We will always be stronger than the stuff we are put through, both alone and as a couple.

My cell buzzing on the kitchen counter, I furrow my brow and glance down at the screen. _Teddy._ Why would she be calling me? She knows I've taken the week off and she is the one who arranged this trip for us. "Hello?"

"Hey, Zo!" She seems a little perky. "You good?"

"I was until you called, yeah." _Harsh, but I'm mad about what she said._

"Nice." She sighs. "Look, about yesterday…I didn't mean to cause any offense. Eliza is awesome but I was just letting you know that you have that option should you wish to go down that route."

"I know, but I won't need to use that option," I state. "Just…can we not discuss it again, please?"

"If you're sure." She breathes out.

"I'm more than sure. I have nothing to worry about, and you shouldn't give yourself something to worry about." I sigh. "I know you mean well…"

"You're my best friend so of course, I'm going to worry. It's just who I am, Arizona."

"I get that, but really…you don't need to worry about Eliza."

"Okay." She agrees. "London treating you well?"

"Always. It's been amazing." I smile as I glance over the other side of the room and find Eliza eating breakfast. "I should go, though. We have some stuff to do today and I want to join my fiancé for breakfast."

"Sure, yeah." She clears her throat. "I just called to say that I'm going to have to play dirty. With Alexis."

"Why?" My heart dropping into my stomach, I don't like where this is going. "What's going on?"

"She refuses to even acknowledge what she did to you. I'm struggling to contact her and even when I do, she plays stupid. I have to bring up the fact that we have footage so I'm just warning you in case she tries to contact you." _Oh great._ "Maybe you should block her number."

"No, I'm not doing that." I scoff. "She may admit it to me."

"Arizona, you know you shouldn't be speaking to her. You know that this should all go through me."

"I know, and I won't contact her…but if she calls me, I'll call her out on her shit and see what she has to say for herself then."

"Just...keep your cool, okay?"

"Don't I always?" I laugh.

"Actually, you do…yeah." My best friend admits. "I'll try it the easy way once more, if she doesn't budge, that bitch is getting what's coming to her."

"What exactly are your plans with her, Teddy?" I need to know what she has up her sleeve. Teddy is known for playing dirty, and I'm not sure I want in on that. I'm not sure I have the patience or the complete disrespect for another person to allow her to go all out.

"Take everything I can from her. Her money. Her reputation. Her business. I know it won't end that way as it rarely does, but I'll damage her, Zo…don't you worry about that."

"Okay." I don't like the sound of this plan, but I want to discuss it with Eliza first. She's about to become my other half, and I want her opinion on whatever I believe I need it on. "Call me if you manage to contact her. Bye." Ending the call, I set my cell down on the counter and run my fingers through my hair. "Breakfast good?" I ask as I approach my fiancé.

"Mm…" She swallows her food. "It would be better if you joined me, though."

"Sorry, it was just Teddy." I smile as I pull up a seat and scoot a little closer to her.

"Yeah, I heard." She gives me a small smile. "Everything okay?" Lacing her fingers around her coffee cup, she turns in her seat a little and faces me fully. "Does she have an update."

"Not really." I shrug. "She's having trouble getting Alexis to back down with her claims."

"So...tell Teddy to bring up the footage."

"That's why she called. It's the next step. I told her not to do that unless absolutely necessary and I guess that time has come." Sighing, I drop my gaze and Eliza curls her fingers beneath my chin.

"Hey, what's up?" She asks. "You don't look very happy about this situation."

"I'm not." I scoff. "I don't enjoy ruining peoples lives…"

"Um, she tried to ruin yours, and for a time…it worked. Don't ever forget that, Arizona."

"How could I ever forget the day she broke us up and I barely got you back, Eliza? How could I ever possibly forget that?"

"Look, what is the alternative? The woman is the bitch from hell, so honestly…what other choice do we have?" She gives me a questioning look and I can see where she is coming from. It still doesn't sit well with me. "Huh?"

"I just don't like what Teddy is planning to do."

"What? Take a few million from her that she probably won't even notice has gone?" Eliza laughs, but it's a lot more serious than that.

"She's planning to ruin her, Eliza. Completely. I don't want that for anyone. She hurt me, yes, and she ruined my reputation, but that is all fixed now. It's all dead and buried as far as I'm concerned. I just don't want this to forever hang over us, and the more Teddy antagonizes her, the more likely she is to try different tactics in the future. I don't want this to happen, I really don't."

"So what?" Eliza gives me an incredulous look. "We just let her get away with it?"

"No, I'm not saying that." I sigh. "I want your opinion…your help. But I don't want your opinion to be based on the fact that you hate her."

"My opinion?" She raises an eyebrow and drops her spoon into her empty bowl. "I think we both know what my opinion on this is…I'm sorry, baby, but I'm with Teddy on this one."

"Great." I sigh. "Thanks for that." Grabbing a bagel, I stand and head back into the kitchen. Pouring myself a coffee, I force half of my bagel into my mouth and brace myself against the counter. _I thought she would at least have something constructive to say._ Taking a sip of coffee to wash down the food in my mouth, I throw the other half in the trash and shake my head. "I'm taking a shower." Heading into the bathroom, I close and lock the door behind me. I just need a little time to think this through before Teddy creates the shit storm of the century for me. I get that my fiancé and my best friend hate Alexis, but ultimately, this is my decision. I'm the one she hurt. I'm the one she ruined. I decide what the next step is. They don't know Alexis like I do. They don't know how manipulative she can be. How false she can come across. I know that this won't be the end of it all. I just…I know.

* * *

Finally prepared to head out for the day, Eliza has been a little quiet and I suspect she isn't quite sure what to say to me. Right now, I don't feel like heading out, but it will only ruin our trip, and I don't want that for us. So, I'll grin and bear it. I'll put on a front because my fiancé deserves to enjoy the rest of her time in London, and whatever I have going on in my head can wait. It can always wait…everyone else is more important than my own thoughts. "You ready?" I ask as I slip my jacket on.

"No, not really." She shrugs and kicks her shoes off.

"Um…what are you doing?" I furrow my brow. "We have plans, Eliza."

"Nothing set in stone, though, right?" She smiles as she approaches the couch and drops down onto it. "Come and sit…"

"Why?" I ask. "We don't have time to sit and talk about the weather."

"Good thing I don't want to talk about the weather then, huh?" She gives me a knowing look and I round the couch to join her. "I don't want this to cause any problems for us, Arizona. I want us to be okay with it all."

"You have your opinions and I have my own. We don't have to agree on everything, Eliza. I'm sure you know that." I give her a sad smile. "So, we really don't have to talk about it."

"We do." She counters. "What exactly do you want to do about all of this? Do you want her to just walk away and that is the end of it?"

"No." I shake my head. "But I don't want Teddy to go hell for leather on her ass and ruin everything she has built. It's business at the end of the day, and someone will always be trying to fuck me over. Someone will always try to ruin what I've built. Alexis is no different. Sure, she said some pretty shit things about me, but I'm more than sure that people have forgotten that interview even exists."

"But she hurt you, Arizona. I don't understand why you don't want to hurt her back."

"Because that's not me. I was raised better than that. I don't want to spend my life retaliating. I don't want to spend my life always wondering when something else is going to happen. I just want you, my business, and a happy life. Is that really too much to ask for? Honestly?"

"No." She smiles and takes my hand in her own. "Happiness is never too much to ask for."

"So, I just wanted your opinion earlier but I know you aren't interested in anything that concerns Alexis so I shouldn't have even brought it into the conversation."

"That's not true." She sighs. "Whatever you decide…I will support you. Whether I like it or not, I will still support you and I'll always have your back. You know Teddy won't like this, though?"

"I don't care about Teddy. I'm paying her to do this, so I can unpay her…it really is as simple as that. Teddy will understand one day, but I'm done with not knowing what's coming next." Grabbing my cell, I hit a familiar number and wait for the call to connect. "No time like the present, right?" Eliza gives me a slight nod and studies my face.

"Hello?" Teddy answers.

"Hey, Teds." I sigh. "I've been thinking about this whole Alexis thing, and I don't want you to go too far. I mean, I understand she has to be held responsible for her behavior, but don't ruin her. Don't sue her for everything she has. Just…$10 million, okay?"

"$10 million." She scoffs. "What the fuck is the point for $10 million? That bitch won't even realize that has left her account."

"I don't care." I sigh. "$10 million for the loss of earnings to my company or you walk away from the case right now and she gets away with it."

"Like hell, she is getting away with it." She laughs. "What the hell is wrong with you? That engagement shit has gone to your head and sent you crazy."

"Teddy." My tone hard, I drop my gaze and shake my head. "I still want the public apology, though. You can threaten her with the footage for the public apology but stay away from her clients. Stay away from everything other than what I've asked you to take care of, okay?"

"You're joking, right?" She spits. "You actually mean it?"

"I do, and I swear if I find that footage leaked on PornHub, I'll kill you, Teddy." Ending the call, I don't want to discuss it anymore. Eliza tightens her grip on my hand and I glance up at her. "You're disappointed in me, aren't you?" I sigh. "I'm sorry, but I cant do it. It's not me, Eliza, and I'd never stoop to her level. Because that's what I'd be doing. I'd be no better than her."

"I'm not disappointed." She disagrees. "I love you regardless of what you choose to do."

"That's a lie." I scoff.

"Is it?" She shifts a little closer to me and straddles my legs. Pushing me back against the couch, she cups my face with her hands and gives me a sad smile. "I'd never lie to you, Arizona. If you believe the choice you have just made is the right one, then I support you. I love you, and I support you."

"I'm stupid for doing that, aren't I?" My gaze dropping between us, she lifts my head.

"No, you're not stupid. You're just not a bitch."

"Oh, sometimes I wish I was." I laugh.

"I don't." She shrugs and runs her thumb across my bottom lip. "I think you are perfect how you are, and I'd never want you to change that. I fell in love with you because of your kindness, so I get it, okay? I get that you don't want the drama and the hurt you would cause her. You are a better woman than me, and Teddy, but you know exactly what you want…and you didn't get to where you are by listening to other people's opinions. Regardless of their relationship to you."

"Thank you." I smile. "Thank you for being so adorable."

"I'd say thank my mom but somehow, I don't think she had anything to do with it." Laughing, my fiancé presses her lips to my own and smiles. "Now, let's get out of here. We have some exploring to do."

Climbing from my body, she pulls me up to my feet and I study her face. "Have you any idea how perfect you are, Eliza Minnick?"

"Not perfect…just madly in love with you." She smiles. "I think we both know that I'm far from perfect."

"Well, to me…" I press a kiss to her lips. "…to me, you are. You always will be."

It's true, and I make it no secret. This woman is perfect. She is the very definition of perfection in my eyes. I don't care about what's happened with Alexis, and quite frankly, I'd just be happy to never hear her name again…but Eliza is right, she cannot completely get away with it. She should face the consequences in some way. $10 million seems good enough to me, and I know that Teddy could have taken so much more from her. I'm still not 100% sure that showing Teddy that footage was the right thing to do, but I trust that Eliza didn't take her eyes off of that disc. I trust that my best friend wouldn't put it out there. Not only would it ruin Alexis…it would hurt me, too. It would hurt me because I was supposed to be her girlfriend during that time of her life. I was supposed to be the one she loved. Not the alcohol, the women or the cocaine…just me.

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 **Thanks for reading, guys. Sorry for the delay in updating but if the writing ain't there…it simply ain't there. I won't put a chapter out just to pacify people. If I don't like it, it doesn't get uploaded.**

 **Reviews are welcome as always. Thanks in advance.**


	58. Chapter 58

**Characters belong to Shonda. The rest is mine.**

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Chapter Fifty-Eight

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ELIZA'S POV

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This trip with Arizona has been absolutely incredible, it really has. Honestly, I'm a little sad that it's about to end. Coming to London, I never for one moment expected to be heading home engaged, but I am…and it's the most amazing feeling in the world. I know I made the right decision when I said yes to the woman of my dreams, and I know that we are only heading back to New York stronger than when we left. I know we are strong, but the idea of Arizona wanting to call me her wife has totally changed how I feel about everything I've ever known. Like, my issues with my mom don't even matter anymore. Nothing matters anymore because I have this incredible woman in my life and I know that she is all that I will ever need. She is the only one who's opinion matters and she is the only one who makes me truly happy. Locking my luggage, I drop down to the edge of the bed and sigh. "I don't want to leave."

"I know…" She smiles at me from across the room. "But we have stuff to do when we get home."

"Yeah." I give her a nod. "Just nice being away from it all."

"I know you hate the busy life of the city, but our home is waiting for us." She approaches me and drops down to her knees in front of me. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, why?" I furrow my brow.

"Just…you've been quiet the past few days." She tilts her head a little. "Wasn't sure if everything was okay with my decision I made."

"Decision?" I give her a questioning look.

"Alexis." She states. "I know you said you are okay with what I decided but are you really? You know you can tell me if you're not."

"No, I'm fine with it." I give her a smile and she takes my hands in her own. "Just really enjoyed being here and having you completely to myself."

"I've enjoyed it, too." Arizona agrees. "No cells and no work has been amazing."

"Don't you wish you could do it more often?" I ask. "I could see how at ease you've been. You know, no stress. No early morning conference calls. Don't you ever wish you could take a step back?"

"I do wish I could do it more, but I knew what I was getting myself into when I started to build what I have. I knew it would be long days. Sure, we may have a ton of money to do whatever we want, but that doesn't happen without the hard work I've put in throughout the past ten years."

"It's just been nice seeing you happy and worry-free." I shrug. "I know you have to go back and do it all again this week, but it's been nice, is all."

"Yeah." She sighs. "But we will do it again soon. I will find more time for more of this lifestyle, okay?"

"That's not what I'm trying to say…" I cup her face with my left hand and she leans into my touch. "I don't want you to stop doing what you love. I just want you to know that you deserve a break more often. You work your ass off, Arizona, and the difference in you this week is amazing. You seem…refreshed."

"I am." She closes her eyes. "That is all because of you, though. Whether we are away from it all, or at home after a crazy day at the office… _you_ are the one who relaxes me. You are the one who makes me forget about the business. You are the one who makes me happy."

"I love you." I smile as she leans up and places a kiss on my lips. "But you're right…we have to go home."

"Until next time, yeah?" She raises her eyebrow.

"For sure." Standing, I pull her up to her feet and wrap my arms around her waist. Silence falling between us, I study her face and yeah, this is the most relaxed I've ever seen her. It's nice to watch her like this, but she is a businesswoman and I know that her office comes before any vacations. I'm okay with that. It's all I've ever known, so I have to be okay with it. This isn't a sudden change for her or for our relationship, so we will head home and we will carry on like we usually do. We will head home and discuss our future. Our wedding. Our life together that is only going to be even more amazing than it already has been.

* * *

Stepping off the plane, I can already feel the busy life we are about to face creeping back inside of me. I can already feel the phone calls and the emails and the office hitting me full force, and honestly, I'm not even fully awake. We both slept for the majority of the eight-hour flight, and even though we flew first class, it's still not as good as being in an actual bed. Nothing will ever be as good as curling up next to my fiancé and feeling her protective arms around me. I'm feeling a little weird right now, and I could certainly use a day in bed with her. She is already powering up her cell, though, and we haven't even made it to baggage claim yet.

Taking her hand in my own as we make our way through the airport, she tightens her grip and gives me a smile. "I have to head to the office, but you can take the day off if you want?"

"Already?" I whine. "You really have to go back to work right now?"

"I do, I'm sorry." Giving me a sad smile, she pulls up her emails. "I have to get on top of this." Flashing her screen my way, she has 113 unread emails and I know she hates being behind with work. "I want to check the place is even still functioning."

"I'm sure it is," I mumble. "Someone would have called if it wasn't."

"True." She laughs, not recognizing my disappointment or the sarcasm in my comment. "Rich is picking us up so I'll have him drop you and our bags first, okay?"

"Whatever." I shrug. "I'm going home to sleep."

"That's fine. I won't work the full day. I'll just get on top of a few things and then I'll be home."

"How are you not tired from that flight?"

"I do this all the time." She smiles. "Time zones don't phase me anymore. You'll get used to it eventually."

"Oh, I don't plan on getting too used to it." I scoff. "I love my sleep too much."

"Well, if we want more trips like that…and if we are going to travel the world for business, you'll have to learn to love sleep a little less."

"Yeah? And what about the kids, huh? Will they have to get used to it, too?" _Whoa, wait! That wasn't supposed to come out._

"T-The what?" She stutters.

"Never mind." I give her an awkward smile. "I was joking." I can see the look of horror on her face, and it breaks my heart. I know I sprung it on her, hell…I sprung it on myself, but I didn't expect that reaction from her. Right now isn't a good time to discuss the dream I had during our flight home. We are both tired and now just isn't the appropriate time to discuss anything other than work. "If Rich could drop me home first, that would be great."

"Yeah." She clears her throat and the color begins to drain back into her face a little. "I think you need to sleep."

"I'd prefer it if you were with me…" I shrug. "But I'll see you later, yeah?"

"You know it." Reaching the baggage claim, she steps away from me and I release a deep sigh. _I have a bad feeling about this._ Watching her as she waits patiently for our luggage, I study her body language and she looks a little uncomfortable. She looks totally different to how she did before I dropped the kid's bombshell. She looks different and I don't like it.

* * *

I've been awake for a few hours now but I feel awful. My body feels like it doesn't belong to me and I know that I have stuff playing on my mind. I've tried not to think about what happened at the airport, but it's hard to not think about it. It's hard because I don't know how Arizona feels about what I said, and I get the impression that she doesn't feel good about it. My dream keeps playing on my mind, and even though it wasn't the greatest dream I've had about my future with my fiancé, it's all I want. Kids running around the condo would be kind of amazing, and I can just see Arizona looking at them exactly how she looks at me. Pure love in her eyes. Pure love and protection for our children.

The door bleeping and signaling Arizona's arrival home, we haven't spoken much today. I know she's had a lot on at the office, but I still expected a little more from her. I did sleep for the entire morning and some of the afternoon so I guess she just didn't want to disturb me. "Hey…" I pull her away from her thoughts as she walks through the door. "Everything okay at the office?"

"Sure." She smiles. "Did you sleep well?"

"Yeah," I reply. "A little lonely, but you're here now."

"I could use some good food and a movie." She sighs as she slips her blazer from her shoulders and kicks off her heels. "How about you?"

"That sounds nice." I smile as I study her face. "Do I get a kiss first, though, or?"

"Sorry, beautiful." She leans over the back of the couch and captures my lips. "That flight is beginning to catch up with me."

"Yeah, crazy day, huh?" Trying to gauge her mood, she shrugs and drops down beside me. "Wouldn't you agree?"

"No crazier than usual."

"Right." I nod.

"Oh, I told a few of the guys at the office about the engagement. Figured we could have some sort of night out with them all. You know, celebrate…if they'd want to."

"Sounds nice." I smile.

"And Lucie is going to have an announcement arranged."

"An announcement?" I furrow my brow. "For what?"

"For the media." She deadpans. "O-Oh, did you want to do it all undercover?" She asks. "We can do that if you want. Sorry, I should have discussed it with you first."

"No, do whatever you think is best," I reply. "Speaking of discussions, though…"

"What's up?" She gives me a questioning look as she runs her fingers through her hair.

"What I said earlier…" I sigh. "I'm sorry if I freaked you out. I know we aren't there yet, and I shouldn't have said what I did."

"You mean the kid's thing?" She furrows her brow.

"Yeah."

"Oh, it's okay." She waves off my comment. "I freaked a little, but then you said you were just joking and my heart rate returned to normal."

"Yeah, I was joking about what I said…I guess, but it wasn't like a complete joke."

"You've lost me." She admits.

"Like I said, we aren't there…yet, but since it's been brought up, I figured we could discuss it." Shrugging, I'm trying to be as nonchalant as possible but it's hard. I'm trying to be careful of what I say when in reality, I want to truly tell her what I see in our future. "I had a dream on the flight home, and in that dream…we had kids. I mean, it wasn't great because we were fighting in the dream, but we had kids."

"What were we fighting about?" She laughs.

"You leaving for a business trip and me being left at home with the kids…"

"Exactly." She states.

"Exactly…what?" I wrinkle my nose and she turns to face me fully.

"It's why I've never had kids. Never wanted kids." She says it like she doesn't have a care in the world. Like it isn't important. Like it's not something people actually do. "I wouldn't bring kids into my life…I don't have the time."

"But you make time," I state as I furrow my brow. "No?"

"No." She smiles. "My business is my baby…it always has been."

"Wow." My eyes widen a little and I'm not quite sure whether to talk what she is saying seriously. "So, what then?" I ask, my heart sinking into my stomach with every second that passes. "It's a no from you?"

"Yeah." She shrugs. "It's not something I've ever wanted, Eliza. Kids have always been way out of any plan for my future. You've seen how busy I am. You've seen how much work I have to do. How much I have to travel and how long my days are. It wouldn't be fair to any kid if I wasn't around."

"O-Okay…" I clear my throat as the realization hits me that Arizona and I aren't entirely perfect. I don't even want to have this discussion anymore. It isn't going to end well, so I don't think I have anything else to say about it.

"It's what you wanted, isn't it?" She gives me a sad smile and I can see the worry about our future in her own eyes.

"It's not important." I shrug as a single tear escapes and I wipe it away immediately. "Don't worry about it."

"But it _is_ important to you." She sighs.

"But not to you, so maybe we should just forget I ever said anything." Standing, I make my way into the kitchen and pull a bottle of white wine from the refrigerator. My heart tearing apart with every breath I take, I turn my back on my fiancé and the tears fall fast.

"Hey…" She approaches me from behind and turns me into her arms. "I'm so sorry, Eliza." I can see the unshed tears in her own eyes but she is fighting them back. She's better at this than I am. She's good at hiding her emotions. Me…not so much. Pulling me into her body, I release a deep breath and inhale her scent. "I'm so so sorry."

"Yeah, me too." I smile against her crisp white shirt and pull back. "I, uh…I'm going to go take a shower."

"Sure." She sighs. "Should I order dinner? Our usual place?"

"Whatever you want to do." I turn back and give her a sad smile. "I'm not feeling so hungry anymore." Turning on my heel, I approach the hallway leading to the bathroom.

"Eliza…" She calls out and I glance over my shoulder. "W-What does this mean for us?"

"Honestly?" I breathe out. "I don't know, Arizona."

"I should cancel the media announcement, shouldn't I?" Her sadness written all over her face, she drops her gaze and toys with the empty glass in her hand.

"Yeah…you probably should."

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome as always.**


	59. Chapter 59

**Characters belong to Shonda. The rest is mine.**

* * *

Chapter Fifty-Nine

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ARIZONA'S POV

* * *

Today, I finally get to spend some time with Eliza. I mean, she's already left for the office, and a little earlier than usual, but I'm not out at any meetings today. Yesterday and the day before she scheduled them back to back for me and I suspect she did that on purpose. I can see that she doesn't want to be around me, and it breaks my heart, but I can't bring it up with her. If I do, I know this will all end, and I'm not sure I'm prepared for that just yet. I know it's going to happen sooner or later, but I just need there to be an us for a little while longer. I just need to be able to say her name and hear her voice for a little more time and then I can prepare myself to let her go. I don't ever want that to happen, but I'm not stupid. I know she is preparing herself for the same thing. I'd never expect her to stay. I'd never expect her to stay in a relationship that ultimately won't make her happy. I wouldn't do it, so why should she? Because she loves me? Because I love her? Sometimes love just isn't enough. Sometimes there needs to be that something extra, and Eliza had expressed her wishes for exactly that. So, I understand what is about to come and even though I hate it, I respect her enough to allow her to walk away.

I spent last night going over in my head where we could have gotten mixed up during our time together, but I kept drawing a blank. We've just never discussed having a family. Don't get me wrong, I like kids, but I've never wanted my own. There's nothing wrong with that, and I still maintain that, but Eliza has that about her. I can just see her sitting in her big home with a mom car parked up the drive. Four kids running around the yard. I can see her exactly like that, and I want that for her. I want her to have the most amazing life with her beautiful kids, but still…it's not for me. It's not for me because it has never been. Even when I think about it now, I couldn't even tell her yes because I know it's what she wants to hear. I couldn't tell her yes because I'd be lying. The fact of the matter is…I don't want kids.

What would I be? The aunt, or something? It's not like I'd be around long enough each day to even be called a parent, so what's the point? What's the point in agreeing to that with her when she would be doing most of it alone? Technically, she doesn't have the time for kids, either, but I wouldn't expect her to stay in her job at my office. It's too much for someone with kids. I need someone who can be there for me any time of day. During the night if needs be. I need someone who can drop everything and come running. Someone who can meet me at the airport and spend six weeks in China with me if I have to be there. It's just who I am. It's what I was born to do. It's the only way I see my life.

Sitting in the back of the car, Rich glances at me through the rearview mirror and clears his throat. "I hear congratulations are in order, ma'am."

"Yeah." I sigh. "Thank you, Rich."

"You know, I always knew you guys would get married."

"How so?" I furrow my brow.

"I've worked for you for a long time, Miss Robbins. I've seen you through everything. One thing I never saw, though, was how you looked at anyone the way you look at Miss Minnick."

"That's sweet." I smile. _If only he knew the hell I was going through right now, huh?_ "She's very special."

"I'm happy for you." He gives me a nod through the mirror and returns his focus to the streets of New York.

Settling back in my seat, I toy with the piece of jewelry I found in the bathroom this morning. I'm hoping it was unintentional, but the way I feel this morning, I'm not so sure. I mean, did she mean to take off her engagement ring? If she did, did she mean to forget to put it back on? I'm going out of my mind right now, and it's killing me. My heart actually hurts. Even when I lost her because of the Alexis situation, I didn't feel this bad. Something feels different this time. Different because I know what's happening. Different because I know that neither of us is going to back down. I don't want kids, and she does…neither of us are going to change our minds. It's just what we do and don't want. Nobody is wrong for how they feel and nobody is wrong for not giving into the other…it's just life, and sometimes life comes crashing down around you when you least expect it. It's not like I don't love her. I love her more than anything in this world. We just don't want the same things, and that's okay. It's nobody's fault.

My car coming to a stop outside my office building, Rich exits first and opens my door for me. Giving him a thankful smile, I pull my purse up onto my shoulder and my heels hit the sidewalk. Approaching the glass building in front of me, my stomach somersaults and I'm beginning to wish I hadn't eaten breakfast this morning. It's going to come right back up again any moment now, and that would only add to the mood I'm in today. It would only add to how shit my life feels right now. _Nothing ever lasts forever…_

Stepping into the waiting elevator, the doors close and I'm thankful that I'm alone in here right now. I can already feel the tears threatening to fall, and I really don't want them to. When they do, it confirms that my relationship is about to end. When they do, my relationship with Eliza will flash before my eyes and I'll drop to my knees. So, no...they can't fall right now. I'm a businesswoman and I have to remain professional in this building. My staff doesn't need to see that way, and I don't want or need them to see me that way.

Reaching the floor that holds the only woman who will ever matter to me in this world, I step off and make my way down the corridor. Lucie is sitting behind her desk but she is busy taking a call from someone so I simply give her a wave and step into my office. I had to walk straight in. If I didn't, my mind would have wandered and I'd have never walked through the door.

Eliza is sitting at her desk, but she doesn't even look up and acknowledge that I'm in the room with her. _Yeah, we're done._ "Hi." I breathe out as I approach my desk and drop my purse to the floor. "Did you get here okay this morning?"

"Well, I'm sitting here." She turns and gives me a smile. "So, yeah…I got here just fine."

"Right, yeah." I clear my throat and drop down in my seat. "Any calls? Messages?"

"Nothing that requires your attention." She shrugs. "I've taken care of it all."

"Thanks." _Why am I thanking her? It's her job._ Still, I'll say anything right now if it means she is holding a conversation with me. "Y-You, um…you left something at home this morning."

"What's that?" She raises her eyebrow.

"Your ring." Standing, I close the distance between us and slip it off my own finger. "Did you want it, or?"

"Oh, right…" She furrows her brow. "I took it off whilst I showered. I was running late so I forgot to grab it before I left."

"Yeah?" My nerves settling a little when she admits that she didn't mean to leave it, she gives me a nod and I hand it back over to its rightful owner. "I brought it in for you."

"T-Thanks." I notice her awkward smile but I choose not to say anything about it. "You have a meeting at one." She turns her attention back to her screen as she slips her ring on but doesn't even glance down at it as it sits on her finger.

"Okay." I nod, my voice close to breaking. "I'll just be over here if you need anything."

"Sure. I'm heading out for coffee soon so I think everything is good here." She shrugs. "Did you want me to bring you anything back? Your usual?"

"Maybe I could come with you?" I ask, a little hope in my voice. _I sound pathetic._ "Everything else here can wait."

"Oh, that's okay." She waves off my comment. Her eyes still fixed firmly on the screen in front of her. "I won't be too long and I know you are busy."

"I can take some time away, though." God, I'm going to be on my knees begging soon. "I feel like we've barely seen each other since we got back from London."

"You have a business to run, Arizona." _She's having a dig. I know she is._

"And I have a fiancé that I love and want to spend a little time with." I counter. "Look, I know you don't want to be anywhere near me right now, and I understand that, but can we at least share a coffee together before you leave me? Is that really too much to ask?" A tear slipping down my face, she glances my way but doesn't move from her seat. "Please, Eliza? I just need a little more time with you before you walk away."

"Arizona…"

"Please?" I stand but she holds her hands up between us. "Eliza…" My breath catching in my throat as she shakes her head, I can't bear this any longer. I can't bear to watch my life crumble in front of me.

"Stop." She stands and grabs her purse. "I just…we aren't doing this here. We aren't fighting at work."

"I don't want to fight with you _anywhere._ "

"I'm leaving." Grabbing her jacket, she shrugs it on and takes her purse from beside her desk. I don't know how this has turned to shit so quick, but it has. It has, and my heart is breaking every second that I stand in this room and watch her prepare to leave. _How am I supposed to function without her? How am I supposed to even get out of bed each day?_

* * *

My head pounding, I slip my key into the lock of my home and hope that we can figure this out. I don't know how, but I hope we can at least talk about it and maybe figure out a way to prolong the inevitable. I'm not ready to let her go. I'm not ready to live alone. Not after I experienced the most amazing time with my fiancé. _Although, something tells me I shouldn't call her that anymore._ My condo in complete silence, I furrow my brow and glance around. _Where is she?_ Eliza didn't come back to the office after leaving earlier this morning, and she hasn't returned any of my calls.

Dropping my purse onto the couch, I make my way down the hall and into the bedroom. The closet door open, my heart sinks and I'm pretty sure it's stopped beating altogether. Her clothes are gone. Her belongings are gone. _She_ has gone. Taking a seat on the edge of our bed, my head drops into my hands and the sobs come hard and fast. I didn't think it would happen so soon. I didn't think she would leave without saying goodbye. She has, though, and I think that hurts more than anything else. I think that is the ultimate kick in the stomach for me.

I love this woman more than life itself, but she's just walked. She's gone without even looking back. I don't know how I even feel about that. I don't know _what_ to feel about it. It hurts, but right now…I'm numb. I'm numb and I don't feel like I'm even in my body right now. Nothing is as it should be. Nothing makes any sense. I know we can't stay together, but this? She's just…gone.

Removing myself from our bed, _my bed,_ I drag my body down the hallway and head for the kitchen. Grabbing a fresh bottle of Vodka from one of my cupboards and head straight for the couch. A blanket the only thing keeping me company right now, I wrap it around me and move towards the window. _I hate this place._ I don't want to be here if she isn't. Everything in my home reminds me of my ex-fiancé. _Everything._ This seat I'm sitting in? She made love to me here more times than I can remember. This blanket? It still smells of her. _Oh God, it smells of her._ Fresh tears falling, I rest my head against the window and close my eyes. I can't even look at Central Park right now. It reminds me of the walks we took together. It reminds me of the first time she held my hand in public. The first time we kissed in public. Everything about this place is fucked up, and it's making me feel nauseous just sitting here.

Popping the cap on the bottle of Vodka in my hand, I take a long sip and allow the burn to take over my body as it travels down my throat. I'd call her, but she clearly doesn't have any intentions of speaking to me. She left my life in the blink of an eye, so I'm pretty certain she wouldn't accept my call.

My eyes shooting towards the door as I hear a familiar beep, Eliza comes inside and finds me sitting in the window. "I thought you were leaving." I close my eyes and place my hand on my chest. "I'm so glad you didn't."

"I have left, Arizona." Her eyes fixed firmly on the floor, I furrow my brow.

"Then why are you here?"

"Did you really think I'd leave you without saying goodbye?" She lifts her gaze and gives me a sad smile. "Really?"

"I don't know." I shrug as I stand and close the distance between us. "I don't want you to say goodbye."

"We both know that we have to." She replies, her own emotions getting the better of her. "I hate that we have come to this after being so amazing together, but staying isn't fair to either of us."

"Not even just a little longer?" I ask.

"No." She shakes her head. "What would that achieve? It will only make this worse."

"But I don't want you to leave." Tears falling freely, I cup her face and her eyes close, her bottom lip trembling. "I don't ever want to live my life without you, Eliza."

"We don't want the same things…" She whimpers. "I love you, Arizona, but staying won't help us. Staying won't change your mind, and staying won't change my mind."

"I-I know." Placing her hand on my own that is still resting against her skin, my heart breaks, but she is right. "I'm so sorry I did this to you. It just…it wasn't ever something that came up in conversation."

"You didn't do anything." She smiles. "You were honest when the time came to discuss it, and I'll always appreciate that. You could have lied and kept me here, but you didn't. You didn't, and now I have to go."

"Go where?"

"To a hotel for now." She shrugs. "I'll figure something out."

"You can stay here. You don't need to stay at a hotel." I state. "I'll leave. You stay here."

"No, I can't do that." She sighs. "I have to go and be gone from your life. We have to move forward. I know it's going to be hard, and trust me, I'm hurting just as much as you, but we have to be sensible about this. We can't be in each other's lives. It will only complicate things."

"I-I…" My emotions getting the better of me, I release a deep breath and try again. "We didn't even get one last time together. I didn't get to hold you, or kiss you, or touch you. I just…" Pressing my lips against her own, my tears fall faster than ever before. I need Eliza to breathe me back to life. I need her touch, her kisses. She keeps me alive. Pulling back, I drop my gaze and shake my head. "I'm sorry, I just…I needed to do that."

"I'm sorry I can't change my mind, Arizona."

"Me too." I drop my hands from her face and take a step back. The realization that I'll never touch her again hitting me square in the chest, I'm barely holding myself up right now. "I love you, Eliza…more than anything. I always will love you, but I need you to be happy. I need you to be happy and fulfilled and I don't seem to be the one who can give you that."

"I want you to be happy, too." She smiles as she backs away and towards the door.

"I won't ever be happy again." I tilt my head a little and give her a sad smile. "I won't ever find what I had with you, but this isn't about me. This is about you and how you deserve everything the world has to offer. Just…please, be happy, okay?"

"Yeah." She breathes out. "I should go." Throwing her thumb over her shoulder, I nod and drop my gaze.

"If you ever need anything. Anything at all. You know where to find me. You can come to me anytime." My door opening, I inhale deeply and watch the most beautiful woman I've ever had in my life walk away. She's right, though. Staying will only hurt us more. Staying gives one of us false hope, and that isn't good for anyone. The door closing, the lock clicks shut and I drop to my knees. I have to. I need something solid beneath me. I need something that tells me this is real, and crying on the floor of my condo doesn't get any more real than this. "I love you." My words broken, but audible, I'm not entirely sure who I'm talking to, but I had to say it out loud once more, because I know I'll never say it to another woman again. I know I'll never say it to another soul. Those words were reserved for Eliza, and Eliza only. So, no…the words 'I love you' will never fall from my mouth again.

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 **Thanks for reading, guys. This one took longer to get out because I cried and couldn't see what I was writing. Apologies.**

 **The next chapter will have a time jump. Hold on, it's not forever ;D**


	60. Chapter 60

**Honestly, I haven't read your reviews from the last two chapters. I'm genuinely scared about what I will be faced with. It's all well and good writing it, but the outcome ain't always so great...**

 **Characters belong to Shonda. The rest is mine.**

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Chapter Sixty

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ARIZONA'S POV

* * *

 _Two month later…_

God, I needed this break. I needed to feel the sun against my skin. I needed the fresh air. Since I hadn't left my condo in five weeks, I definitely needed it, and my body will thank me one day. It's been almost two month's to the day since Eliza walked out of my life, and today is the first day that I feel the tiniest hint of hope. I've been in Mexico for the past six days and I'm finally feeling like I resemble myself once again. Sure, most of it is a front, but at least I got out into the sunlight. At least I'm not at home drinking myself into oblivion. Because that's all I did, sat at home for six weeks and drank. Drank until I couldn't see. Drank until I couldn't feel. Drank until I passed out. Most nights if I'm being totally honest. I'm not proud of myself, but I was hurting. I still am, but I'm coping better. I'm managing to live my life alone once again, and today has been a good day. Sure, I'm headed home in a few hours, but I feel like I'm ready to get back to work. I feel like I'm ready to run my business again. I was available for calls to my home most of the time, but I couldn't be seen at the office. One, I probably smelt like a brewery, and two, I looked a mess. A real mess. I wasn't sleeping, so I was drinking. When I wasn't drinking, I was crying. When I was drinking…I was still crying. It hit me as hard as I imagined it would do, but I thought I would have dealt with it better than I did. I certainly didn't expect to turn into a reclusive alcoholic. It got pretty close to a visit to the hospital on more than one occasion, too.

Thankfully, Teddy was there for me. She originally came by to tell me that Alexis had agreed to the deal she set out for her, but I'm still waiting on that public apology. Honestly, I no longer care about anything that concerns her, but Teddy wants the apology. Once she found me on the floor with an empty vodka bottle beside me, she knew something was wrong. I just couldn't bring myself to tell her that Eliza and I had broken it off. I mean, it was only like a month before that I was calling her to tell her that we were engaged, so yeah…it was hard to tell her the complete opposite when she questioned my behaviour. She's a good friend, though, and she didn't once judge me. Teddy loves kids, and she's always asked when I'd be giving her a baby to look after, but she didn't joke about this. She could see how hurt, how devastated I was, so she was there for me. Humour aside for once.

I've been thinking about things, and I've discussed them with Teddy and she seems on board with the idea. I mean, ultimately it's my decision, but it's always nice to have your best friend's approval. I don't know how well the plan will work, and it may fall apart before it even begins, but still…I've been thinking hard and honestly, my life is too hard without Eliza in it. My fears where kids are concerned has always been the amount of time I spend at the office. It's never been about anything else. I just don't have anyone else who can be me. I don't have anyone else that I can trust to do an awesome job when I can't be there. I mean, I know kids wouldn't happen for a while, maybe even a couple of years, but if Eliza needs me to be on board and that option to be open to us, I have to train someone else up to do my job. I need someone who can do what I do, maybe even better. I only have one person in mind, but I'm not sure she will even be willing to take my call. Jo is Eliza's best friend, and I wouldn't expect her to be friendly with me. I mean, I haven't done anything wrong, but if Eliza has been hurting and has called her…she may see things differently.

Deciding that it's now or never, I grab my cell and hope that Jo hasn't changed her number. Hitting the call button, I wait for it to connect and my stomach suddenly doesn't feel so good. I don't plan on calling Eliza until I know that this can be done, and even then it may be too late. She may have met someone else. I told her to be happy, and that is exactly what she could be doing right now. I couldn't do anything about it if that was the case. She is only doing what is best for her. "H-Hello?" A stutter pulling me from my thoughts, I release a deep breath.

"Hey, Jo." I sigh. "Are you free for a couple of minutes?"

"Sure…um, why are you calling me?" She asks.

"You know the job I offered you a few months ago…uh, you never did get back to me."

"Yeah, about that, Arizona." She clears her throat. "I planned to call you several weeks ago, but well…things happened and I wasn't sure you would still want me for the job. Eliza called and told me what happened so I figured it was best to just leave everything up in the air."

"Mm…" I nod. "So, did you want it, or?"

"You are joking right?" She squeals. "I've been jobless for almost a while because I thought I was coming to work for you…and now you just call? Of course, I want the job."

"Eliza wouldn't mind?" I ask.

"I don't see why she would," Jo replies. "She's doing good, so?"

"Oh, that's nice." I smile to myself. "Did she leave New York?"

"Wait, you guys haven't spoken at all?" She asks, a little shocked. "Nothing since she left?"

"N-No." I stutter. "Was I supposed to have heard from her?"

"No, I just thought you guys would have kept in touch since you ended things so well." She states. "Sorry, you probably don't want to hear it anything about her anyway."

"No, I'm happy that she is doing good." I give her my honest answer. "We may have broken up but I love her just the same. So long as she is happy, I'm okay."

"Wow." She breathes out. "Now I know what she meant when she said you were awesome."

"That's sweet." I smile. "So, when can you start?" I ask.

"I just have to fix some things up here and get some cash together, but can I have a week or so?"

"Take what time you need but don't worry about the cash," I state. "I'll pay your flight and I'll find you somewhere to stay."

"Arizona, you don't have to do that."

"Yes, I do." I counter. "You are going to work your ass off for me and I will be rewarded with that hard work so we will call it quits, okay?"

"Are you sure?" She asks, a little unsure. "I can get things together myself."

"And how long will that take?" I ask.

"A while…"

"I don't have a while to wait, Jo."

"Okay, then." She squeals. "Thank you so much, Arizona. This means the absolute world to me."

"I told you I would give you a job, Jo. I do not go back on my word…ever." _That's a lie since I'm about to go back on my word with Eliza, but I'll cross that bridge when I come to it._ "I know you have the talent, so if you are ready to become the next me…I'll see you in a week."

"You will. And yes, I'm definitely ready." She laughs.

"I'll be in touch with the details. Bye, Jo." Ending the call, I settle back on my lounger and soak in the sun for a little while longer. Now that I know I have Jo on board, I feel a little calmer. I feel a little more positive for the future. If I've realized anything these past few weeks, it's that I simply cannot and will not live without Eliza Minnick. Did I think I would change my mind? Honestly, no. Did I hope that one day I would feel different about having kids? Every minute I spent alone.

* * *

Reaching my condo, it feels good to be home. I know I've hated being here since Eliza left, but now that I've got Jo coming here next week, I know that things can only get better. I know that if I put my all into this, my life could possibly be pieced back together. _God, I hope this works out for me._ What do I want right now? I want to call Eliza and ask her to come home to me, to us, but I can't do that. I can't do that until I know that Jo can be my person when I can't be there. I need to know that I can leave my business in her hands when I'm home with my family. _Yeah, my family._ Maybe I should have taken more time to think about all of this before I allowed Eliza to walk away from me, but she put me on the spot and in that moment, I had to be truthful with her. She isn't wrong for leaving, and I would never accuse her of such. Everything she said about us was true.

Maybe I needed her to leave, though, so I could realize exactly what I'd miss. We have been through so much in the short space of time that we have been together, and honestly, I'm not sure we really spent a day apart once things got serious between us. I'm not complaining, and I certainly wasn't back then, either, but maybe everything happened too fast for us. You know…her insecurities. My insecurities. Her mom. Alexis. The breakup. Alexis round two. The engagement. Then the breakup because of our differences. When I think about it all, yeah…things did happen too quick. I wonder if Eliza sees that, too, or am I just trying to make excuses and reasons for why we ultimately split? I don't know, but what I do know is that I have to try and make this right, even though I wasn't wrong, to begin with.

I just had to sit with my thoughts and process everything. I just had to know what the plan was going to be. I mean, she did leave a little sooner than I expected, but that was her choice and if she believed that was the right choice to make, then I accept that. Ideally, I'd have liked to give it some time. You know, just be together as an engaged couple and enjoy our time together. She never told me she wanted kids there and then, but I just didn't expect the conversation to come up how it did or when it did. _She had every right to question our future, though._

Wheeling my luggage to the far side of my condo, I decide that I can unpack it all later. I don't have the patience for it right now and it will only end up in a pile on the floor for a week anyway. Every now and again, I'll get her scent. Her perfume. I don't know why since she's been gone a while, but it's there…it's in the air. Usually, it saddens me, but today it makes me smile. Sure, I may not really have anything to smile about, but I feel positive. Grabbing my cell, I hit a familiar number and wait for the call to connect. "Hey, Teds."

"Hey, someone sounds…happier?" She tries her luck.

"Because someone is." I shrug. "Taking you out for drinks tonight. Meet me at our bar for 8."

"Um…what's the occasion?"

"I'm out of my depression and ready to get back into things. I have to."

"You know what? I'll definitely drink to that." She laughs. "8 it is." Hitting the end call button, I hit the power on the control for my music system and a little soft tune plays out throughout my home. I could totally be getting my hopes up, but I still feel better than I have in a long time. It may not be as easy as I'm assuming it's going to be, but I'm prepared to try. Momma raised me that way, and she's already had stern words with me. She said she would keep in touch with my ex, but if she has, she hasn't told me about anything they've spoken about. She's awesome like that. She's private, and she doesn't gossip. It's one of the things I love about her, and one of the things she has drilled into me.

Eliza may have moved on, but I haven't. I haven't even tried. Maybe she is out there seeing what is available, and that's okay. I'll know if she's happy. I will know by that smile she has on her face that she only ever showed me. I might sound a little cocky, but I know how good we were together. I know how much we loved each other. That love may have lessened on her part, but me? It's as strong as ever. It's never lessened and it never will. Eliza was made for me, and I've known that since the day I met her. She knows how I feel about her, and I told her the night she left that I never wanted to live my life without her. The question is, does she trust me enough to do this with her? Will she trust me when I tell her that I can do this with her? That I want this with her? It won't be fast and it won't be soon, but once I know Jo can be me…Eliza can have the absolute world from me if she wants it.

* * *

"It's so good to see you with a smile on your face." My best friend pulls me into a hug after setting our drinks down on the table. "I've missed you so much."

"You know, I've missed you, too." I pull back and give her a genuine smile. "I just…I needed some time to process. Figure things out."

"So, are you on the prowl tonight?" She raises an eyebrow. "You getting back out there?"

"I'm going to do it." I smile.

"Uh…do what? Get yourself some lady lovin'?"

"No, Teddy." I roll my eyes. "I'm going to get Eliza back."

"How is that going to work exactly?" She furrows her brow. "There is a reason you guys split, and as far as I know…it's still a reason, no?"

"No, not anymore." I shrug.

"You mean you're giving in?" She scoffs. "I thought you were better than that. As much as I love the idea of you being a mom one day…it's not what you want."

"And why didn't I want it, Teddy?"

"Something about work and your business." She shrugs. "I wasn't paying that much attention since you were almost unconscious on your kitchen floor."

"So, I train someone up. I make someone another me."

"That's the stupidest thing I've ever fucking heard." She shakes her head as she sips her drink. "You're telling me you only just thought of this now? You're so full of shit…you are so giving into what she wants."

"No, I'm doing what I believe is right, Teddy." I give her a knowing look. "I've just spent the week on a Mexican beach soaking up the sun, and I missed her. I missed her being by my side. You know what else hurt?"

"What?" She sighs.

"Seeing families playing together. Seeing kids screaming and laughing with their parents."

"So?"

"So, I sat and watched them and I thought to myself…Is it really worth not having just because I work my ass off? Like, I don't even need to work anymore if I don't want to…but I do want to."

"Okay, that makes no sense." My best friend laughs.

"To me it does." I shrug as I knock back a shot. "What I'm saying is, if I can train someone up to take over when I cant be there…there is no reason why I cant have it all."

"Wow…" She breathes out. "Anyone else would lie on the beach and drink…you lie there thinking of weird shit."

"Whatever." I flip her the finger. "If this works with Jo, I will have Eliza back in my life. I just have to work hard to make it happen."

"Jo?" She asks. "Like, your exes best friend?"

"Yeah, I offered her a job a while ago," I state. "Now, she has accepted."

"So, you're going to call Eliza and tell her whats going to happen?" She furrows her brow.

"No, because I don't want to get her hopes up," I answer honestly. "I don't know if Jo can be who I need…although, I don't doubt her, not really."

"So, what are you waiting for then?" She gives me a questioning look and yeah…my best friend has a point.

"I don't want to mess up." I sigh. "I can't mess this up."

"Arizona…she won't wait forever."

"Maybe she will be like me…" I shrug. "Maybe she found her one true love…"

"And maybe she is willing to settle for second best." Teddy counters. "Maybe it won't work out like you are hoping. At least, not if you don't move your ass about it."

"I can't call her."

"Sure you can." She smiles. "You know you want to."

"Of course, I want to." I scoff. "I never wanted her to leave to begin with. I just…I can't call her. Not yet."

"Look, I wasn't going to tell you this, but you may want to move things along a little." She drops her gaze. "Eliza is on the other side of the bar looking very cozy with another woman."

"Sure she is." I roll my eyes and laugh. "I'll call her when the time is right."

"Okay." Teddy holds up her hands. "Don't say I didn't warn you."

Glancing around the bar, I find no sign of Eliza and I know she is just playing games with me. Usually, it would be funny, but this time? Not so much. Even though she has just told me that my ex is here with another woman, the thought of seeing her for the first time in two months makes my heart pound in my ears. The reason I didn't leave my home was for fear of bumping into her. The reason I left for Mexico was in case I called her. Texted her. Hell, I'd have emailed her via the business given half the chance. I know she didn't want that, though, and it's why I let her be. I didn't want to interfere with her thoughts or her life. It was no longer my place to do so. I just…I missed her, but I wasn't allowed to want her anymore. We're nothing right now. Absolutely nothing. "I'm getting us some more drinks. What are you having?"

"Same." She smiles. "Shots, too."

"Uh, obviously." I shake my head and slip out of the booth we are sharing. "Give me a few and I'll be back."

Heading to the bar, I catch Joe's attention and he gives me a smile. "So good to see you in here, Arizona."

"Mm…" I nod. "It's been a while, huh?"

"Too long." He replies. "What can I get my favorite customer?"

"Usual for me." I shrug. "Usual for Teddy, too. Oh, and six tequila."

"Coming right up." He throws me a wink. Glancing around the bar, a smile settles on my face when I find everyone enjoying their evening. Teddy is eyeing some guy up, but that's what she usually does when we are out together. She can't help herself. She's like some sort of predator if I don't reign her in. I swear it's embarrassing at times. Rolling my eyes at my best friend as she pinches some guys ass when he passes her, I can't help the giggle that erupts from my throat.

My attention turning back to the bar, I watch Joe as he prepares my order but something else catches my eyes. _Someone_ else, to be exact. "Wow…" Narrowing my eyes, I want to run but I can't. I can't because the only woman in the world for me is opposite me at the bar and I'm frozen in my spot. _Teddy was right._ She looks just as beautiful as she did two months ago when she left our home. My home. Whatever. She looks good. Smiling as I watch her throw her head back, laughing, my smile quickly falls when I realize she is giving this woman the smile she only ever gave to me. The smile I was so sure only belonged to me. _Fuck…I missed my chance._ "Thanks, Joe." Giving him a smile, I take our drinks and return to the booth. "S-She's here." I stutter.

"Told yuh." She rolls her eyes. "Why don't you ever just take my words and go with it?"

"Because you're a lawyer and lawyers are generally full of shit." I sigh. "What am I going to do, Teds?"

"Go and get your girl." She demands. "Especially from that skank."

"Hey, it's not her fault." I defend the unknown woman. "Eliza was always going to be snapped up quickly."

"And you're going to sit here and let it happen…because I'm sure you were more than confident only minutes ago…"

"She looks happy." I give my best friend a sad smile as my eyes burn through my ex. "She looks _really_ happy."

"So, that's it?" Teddy raises an eyebrow. "Your plan is just out of the window?"

"Right now, yes." I run my fingers through my hair and sigh. "I'm not breaking her happiness. No way."

"Why not?"

"Because I already look like the cold heartless bitch for not agreeing to kids in the first place. I don't need her to think I'm jealous and unwilling to let her be free."

"No, you wouldn't look jealous. You are the love of her life, Arizona. You both know that. She can laugh and smile all day long, but we both know it is fake."

"Except it's not," I reply. "That smile? That is her real smile. That is her happy smile. The smile we used to share."

"So, go and demand it back." She spits. "You two are made for each other. Hell, even I shed a tear when you told me you proposed and I don't cry for _anybody_."

"I'm going to the bathroom." I stand. "If she notices me, I'll say hi. If not, we are taking the drinking back to my place."

"Sounds good enough to me."

* * *

I shouldn't be here right now. I should be at home and working on my plan to show Eliza that I'm ready for our future. I should be at home, but I'm here with Teddy and everyone who knows us, knows that a night with Teddy never ends well. We are terrible together, and maybe that's why I asked her out for drinks tonight. I mean, I know I'll fall into bed and not remember anything tomorrow, so maybe I'm masking my hurt with the use of my best friend. I don't know. I mean, I felt good earlier. I felt amazing, even. Since seeing Eliza, though, I've come to realize that this isn't as easy I as thought it would be.

It's not easier, because unlike me…Eliza is trying to move on and I don't blame her. Why would anyone wait around for something they know will never happen. Maybe I should have called her a few days ago when I had my bright idea to get Jo into the company. Maybe I should have met with her way before then and tried to remain friends. I know I couldn't have since it's not what she wanted, but I still could have tried. I still could have shown her that I was around and that I was never going to forget her. For me, I'll never find another woman like her, and honestly, I have no intentions of even looking, but she feels differently. If she wants a few kids, she has to do this soon. I'm not saying she has to do it immediately, but the sooner the better for her. She won't be young forever. She won't always have the option of pregnancy.

Fixing myself up in the mirror, I straighten myself out and head for the bathroom exit. _There is no way she is going to notice me. Not now that she has someone else._ I truly am happy for her, but I wish I was that woman. I wish I was the one she was laughing with. The one she was looking at with those intense eyes. I just wish I was still privileged enough to call her mine. Shaking myself from my thoughts, I head out of the bathroom and take the route closest to my ex-fiancé. _I hate calling her that. I didn't ever want us to be an ex-anything._ Her scent hitting me in the face, I have to stop for a second before I pass out. I used to fall asleep next to that scent. Wake beside it. Writhe beneath it. _God, I can't do this._ I'm not sure I could face the rejection.

Stepping past the gorgeous brunette I used to call my fiancé, I glance up at her and she catches my eyes. Dropping my gaze, I suddenly feel nervous beyond belief. _Shit!_ I don't like this. I don't like seeing her here with someone else. Not when she should be in my arms. Not when we should have been preparing our wedding. Her hand gripping my wrist, my body stiffens and I stop in my spot. Turning to face her slightly, I can feel her breath washing over my face unintentionally. "Can you stop watching me?" She lowers her tone and turns her head away from her date. "It's making me uncomfortable."

"I wasn't watching you. I was in the bathroom."

"You _and_ Teddy have been watching us." She raises her eyebrow.

"I'm sorry." I give her a sad smile. "I just didn't expect you to still be in New York."

"Why wouldn't I be?" She furrows her brow. "I don't have anywhere else to go. Remember, my mother disowned me because I was dating you." _I remember that like it was yesterday. I held her. Loved her. Made her feel safe._ Now, I'm just a distant painful memory to her.

"Yeah…" I nod. "I'm sorry…I'll leave."

"I don't want you to leave." She sighs. "I just want you to stop watching me."

"N-No...I should leave." I shrug. "I can't be here while you are."

"Yeah, it's time to move on, though, right?" She raises an eyebrow.

"It's been two months and I haven't moved on. Make of that what you will." Shrugging her grip from my wrist, I step back a little when I feel her girlfriend's eyes on me. "I will _never_ move on from you, but I'm happy that you are doing well. She's beautiful. I'm just going to grab my shit and leave. Take care, Eliza." Moving away from my ex, I give Teddy a knowing look and down my drinks. "We have to go." My voice breaking, I drop my gaze and grab my jacket. "I'm leaving...either you're coming or you're not."

Moving through the crowd of people in front of me, I head for the exit and step out onto the street. My heart breaking all over again, I brace myself against a nearby wall and try to breathe through the sobs that are wracking my body. _This isn't good. I've just undone everything I've achieved the past few weeks._ Feeling arms wrap around my waist, I'm pulled up to my feet and I slump against Teddy. "I can't do this, Ted's. I can't be in the same city as her. I can't be in the same world as her. I need her. I miss her so fucking much."

"Yeah, I know." She calls out from the entrance to the bar.

Furrowing my brow, I glance her way and wonder who the hell has their arms wrapped around me. _No, it can't be. It can't be Eliza._ Turning, her eyes find mine and swear I'm going to pass out. Everything within me is numb, but she is keeping me breathing. "Eliza…"

"You need to fix yourself, Arizona." She sighs. "This behavior isn't good for you."

"How do you know what my _behavior_ is like?" I scoff as I try to defend myself against this gorgeous woman. "You're okay. You've found someone. Me? I could happily die and nobody would give a shit."

"That's not true." She sighs. "Come on, I'm taking you home."

"No, you're not." I laugh. "Teddy can take me home."

" _I'm_ taking you home, now move your ass," My ex demands. Glancing back at my best friend, she gives me a smile and a nod, telling me to go with Eliza. "It's no use looking at her." She states. "I'm taking you home and that's the end of it."

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. A longer chapter than usual since I broke your hearts a little while ago. Reviews are welcome as always. I look forward to them with my morning coffee.**


	61. Chapter 61

**Characters belong to Shonda. The rest is mine.**

* * *

Chapter Sixty-One

* * *

ELIZA'S POV

* * *

Arizona looks destroyed. Everything about her breaks my heart but I don't know what to do. I don't know how to fix any of this. I don't know how, because none of this _can_ be fixed. We both know that. It's been two months since we've even breathed the same air, and there is a reason for that. A reason we both know is never just going to go away. I thought about it. I thought about coming home to her and just being us until the urge for kids was at the forefront of my mind, but that's the wrong thing to do. That would have hurt her even more when the time came. So, instead I lay awake every night and wondered what she was doing. Where she was. How her business was going. Did she miss me? Did she think about me? All questions I desperately wanted answers to, but all answers I knew I shouldn't receive. Knowing all of that would have only made me miss her even more than I already was and I couldn't do it to myself. I couldn't bring myself to call her. Every morning when I woke, I prayed that she would come through the bedroom door with coffee and her dimpled smile. Every second of the day I thought about her gorgeous eyes. How I wanted to see them just once more. Dinner alone only made me think about her. Showering made me think about her. Breathing made me think about her. I'd have given anything to just be held by her once more, but I pushed through it and I somehow managed to come out of it on the other side. Am I okay? No. Am I doing better? So much better.

Stepping off the elevator, Arizona takes her keys from her purse and unlocks the door to her condo. That scent hitting me, my heart aches. I've longed to spend time here with her, and now that I'm here…I get a bad feeling. I get a bad feeling because we have both tried so hard to avoid each other, and now it's messed up. _So messed up._ "You don't have to hang around." She turns to face me as she makes her way inside her home. The home that was once ours. "You were enjoying yourself at the bar…you should head back."

"I just want to be sure you are okay." I give her a slight smile. "Are you?"

"Yeah, I'll be fine." She nods. "Thanks for walking me home."

"No problem." I hit the elevator call button but I'm a little hesitant. "Did, uh…did you want me to fix you up some coffee?"

"I'd love that…" She sighs. "But you should go."

"Yeah." I drop my gaze and chew on the inside of my mouth. "Just…it's nice seeing you after all of this time."

"It is." Arizona agrees. "You know you are welcome here anytime, Eliza, but you have someone in your life and I don't want to get in the way of that."

"Jo said you called her." I change the subject completely. "She's coming to work for you."

"Yeah, you don't mind, do you?" She furrows her brow. "I just…I had an idea which is no longer an idea, but I offered her a job a while back, anyway."

"No, of course, I don't mind." I smile. "It will be nice to have her here in the city."

"Yeah, I'm glad you'll have your best friend with you." She toys with the zip on her jacket and I know that she is struggling to be around me. "You look great, by the way."

"Thanks." I clear my throat. "I'll let you get on with your night. It was good to see you." Stepping into the waiting elevator, she opens her mouth to say something but stops herself. Holding the doors open, I furrow my brow. "What is it, Arizona?"

"H-How long?" She asks. "I mean, how long have you been dating?"

"Just a few weeks," I reply.

"Does she treat you well?" My ex-fiancé asks. "Sorry, I just…I need to know."

"Arizona…" I sigh. "Don't do this."

"I just need to know that you are happy." Her voice breaking, I step back out of the elevator and approach her. "I need to know so I can finally let you go."

"We let each other go two months ago." I dip my head and meet her eyes.

"I know you don't love me anymore, but your happiness matters to me. It will always matter to me." Shifting a little awkwardly, she runs her fingers through her hair and the scent of her shampoo hits me. "I had a plan. I had all these thoughts and ideas and I thought it would work. I thought it could change things, but I'm too late. You laugh with another woman now. You laugh and you smile and you hold her like you used to hold me…"

"You know I'll always love you." I sigh.

"But you've moved on." She gives me a sad smile.

"I had to." I counter. "I'd have gone out of my freaking mind if I didn't. I just…I wanted to call you. I wanted to pick up the phone and beg you to come back to me. I wondered if I'd made a mistake in walking away but the more I thought about it, the answer was still always the same. The answer still always brought me back to the fact that we see different futures. So, I had to move on."

"God, I have so much I want to say and so much I need to say, but I can't. It's just not how I imagined all of this working out. I spent some time away, alone, and I had all of these thoughts running through my mind. I thought you would still be single. I thought you'd have fallen back into my arms. I thought this could all just fall back into place. I just…I'm sorry it took me so long to figure everything out." My cell buzzing in my hand, I glance down at the screen and find my girlfriend calling me. _She's no Arizona, but she's nice. She's caring._ "You should go."

Silencing the call, I glance back up at my ex and study her face. "These plans you had?" I sigh. "Did they involve us?"

"It doesn't matter now…" She gives me a sad smile and places her hand on the back of her door. "None of it matters anymore."

"It matters to you, though." My foot resting just inside her home, she knows I'm not leaving until she speaks to me about what's going on in her head. "Well?"

"Eliza, we aren't doing this." She states. "You have your girlfriend calling you whilst you are on my private landing. I don't want to be a part of this. I don't want to have to fight for you when you should have always been mine, to begin with. I just wanted you, but everything has changed."

"You're mad at me, aren't you?"

"Why would I be mad at you?" She furrows her brow. "You have done exactly as I asked. You moved on and you are happy. Now, let me try and do the same."

"So, you aren't going to talk to me about any of this?" I scoff. "You're just going to keep it to yourself and let me walk away…again?"

"Yeah." She smiles. "I guess I am."

"Wow, okay." I hold up my hands. "You can't miss me that much."

"Don't." She shakes her head. "Don't dare tell me how I feel. I've spent the past two months craving your touch. I've spent the past two months completely intoxicated because it was easier than being sober. I've spent the past two months wondering where I went wrong, and you know what? I still don't know. This all feels too dramatic to me. You just walked away without even discussing any of our problems with me. I know I was honest with you and I know that I stood by my word, but you still didn't give me a chance to even talk things out with you. Instead, you avoided me and then you left whilst I was at work. That fucking hurt, Eliza."

"I couldn't do it whilst you were there." I drop my gaze.

"And even after you'd walked away, I still loved you more than anything in this shitty world. I still desperately wanted you back. Until an hour ago, I still needed you. But you moved on way too quick, and it makes me question whether what we had was even genuine." My mouth dropping at her comment, I can't believe she has just said that to me. "I mean, you say you love me and you say you always will…but you're in another woman's bed only a few weeks after we broke up. Forgive me if I'm questioning what we were."

"You know exactly what we were." I step back and shake my head. "You know exactly how much I wanted to spend my life with you. I'm sorry that we disagreed on our future, but I can't live my life alone because you may one day change your mind. I can't live my life alone because you don't want to see me with someone else."

"It's not about seeing you with someone else." She smiles. "It's how quick you climbed into bed with her."

"Well, I needed something to take my mind off of you…" I shrug. "I needed something to help me forget what I'd lost."

"You didn't lose me." She breathes out. "You left me." Her door closing, my chest tightens and the lock clicks. I can hear her crying behind her door but I can't be the one to make her feel better. I can't be the one who takes her into my arms. It isn't as simple as that. _I need to leave and I need to leave right now._

* * *

I've been home for an hour or so, and right now…my mind is working overtime. I feel like Arizona was trying to tell me something when I was at her place, but she just wouldn't give it away. Like, I could see the change in her…she was different. Hopeful, maybe? I don't understand why she would feel that way, though, since nothing has changed between us. Nothing that would even show a hint of a chance between us. I know she is hurt that I'm dating, but I meant what I said to her. I am using Antonia as a means of forgetting. Sure, she's really sweet, but she isn't for me. Nobody will ever be for me now that I've been with Arizona. I knew that before I'd even walked away from her. I knew it the moment I met the gorgeous blonde who is now invading my every thought. I was coping. I was slowly but surely managing to keep her out of my head, but now she's back and I can't get those painfully beautiful blue eyes out of my mind. It's driving me crazy.

Hitting my best friends number on my cell screen, I bring it up to my ear and pray that she answers. "Hello?"

"Hey, Jo."

"Hey, Lize. You good?" She asks. "Did date night not happen?"

"Oh, it did," I state. "But then Arizona happened and now I'm at home and I'm a mess. I left Antonia in the bar and ended up at my exes place."

"Isn't that what you want, though?" She asks, confusion in her voice. "I mean, I know you guys can't be together, but you've wanted to see her since the day you left her."

"Yeah, but it was a bad idea." I sigh. "She saw me at the club with Antonia. Now she hates me."

"Why would she hate you? You guys aren't together anymore."

"It doesn't mean it doesn't hurt, though. I mean, if I saw her out with another woman, I'd be hurt, too."

"But you both have to get past this. You are both going to date and see other people, so you have to realize that and move on."

"I don't want to see other people. I only want her." I cry. "She just…she's broken, Jo. I've caused that pain."

"And staying wouldn't have been worse?"

"I know it would have, but you didn't see her tonight. You didn't see the pain all over her face. I feel horrible. No, I _am_ horrible."

"Hey, don't you dare talk about my best friend like that."

"Why? It's true." I scoff. "I can't be without her, Jo. It's too hard. She is all I think about. She is all I see."

"So, what are you going to do?"

"I don't know." I breathe out. "She closed the door in my face so I don't imagine she will speak to me ever again."

"She's upset. I'm sure she will be feeling better once she's slept on all of this that has happened tonight. Maybe you should do the same…"

"I want to go over there."

"No, don't. I'll be there next week and we will figure this out together. Well, when I have time. Your ex has already told me I will be working my ass off."

"I'm sure it won't be so bad."

"She wants me to be her, Lize. She wants me to become everything she is. She told me that when she called me."

"She did?" I furrow my brow. _Why would she want that? She doesn't need someone who can do her job._ "Did she say anything else?"

"No," Jo replies. "She just asked me if I was ready to be her."

"Oh my god." The realization hitting me, I almost drop my cell to the floor. "She said she had a plan…"

"So?"

"No, she said she had a plan and that it no longer mattered because I had a girlfriend."

"Yeah, you've lost me." My best friend laughs. "Totally."

"I-I have to go." I almost lose my footing when my feet hit the floor but I manage to keep myself from slipping onto my face. "Jo, she had a plan."

"You keep saying this but I've no fucking idea what you are talking about!"

"A plan…for us. So there _could_ be an us." _Oh God._ My heart feels like it's being ripped from my chest right now. I'm in actual physical pain. "I'll call you if I can ever fix this fucking mess."

"Be careful, Lize. You have to be sure about this." Ending the call, I grab my hoody from the chair it is draped over and I grab my keys from the kitchen island. _My hoody?_ It's not even mine. It's Arizona's. Slipping it over my body, it hugs my skin perfectly just like it always does and it settles my nerves a little.

 ** _I need to see you. X_**

Sending off a quick message, I hope to god Arizona answers me. I need there to be a chance that she will open the door to me. I need to be sure that she won't reject me before I've even had the chance to hear her out. She's right…I left her. I did that right off my own back, so she has every right to be pissed at me. I know I've hurt her by being seen with Antonia, but she is no longer relevant in any of this. She is no longer anything in my life. I have to tell her that. I have to tell them both exactly how I feel.

I'm hoping that one of those conversations will take a hell of a lot longer than the other, but I don't know what mood Arizona is in right now. I don't know whether she is even sober. She could be drowning any thought she ever had of us getting back together and that would only be my fault, too. Maybe I shouldn't have taken her home. Maybe Teddy should have been the one to do that. If I hadn't, though, I never would have known that she had things on her mind. I would never have been heading back there right now because I'd have only continued to assume that I was doing the right thing in leaving her alone to get on with her life.

 _I just hope that it's not too late…_

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 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome as always. Thanks for the response to the past couple of chapters, too. However painful they may have been, the majority of you wanted the angst. Crazy bunch.**


	62. Chapter 62

**Characters belong to Shonda. The rest is mine.**

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Chapter Sixty-Two

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ARIZONA'S POV

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I had to do what I did. I had to close the door on my ex-fiancé because the more she spoke, the madder I was getting. Not because I hate her, but because she has moved on. I know I said I was okay with it, but I'm not. I mean, why would I? How could I ever possibly be okay with her being in someone else's arms? Then for her to accuse me of not missing her...that was the final straw. That was the moment when I knew our conversation and my future plans were going nowhere at all. Maybe now that I've seen Eliza, maybe now that I know she is doing okay...I can concentrate on myself. My own life. Get back to that place I was once at. It will be hard and it will never be the same, but I have to try. It's important that I don't forget everything I've achieved over the past ten years, and that is what I have to focus on. I have to get back to me. I have to be the best possible version of myself...and to do that, I have to erase Eliza from my life. I don't want to, but she has already erased me from hers, so it's the right thing to do. I can't possibly hurt any more than I have the past two months, so I have to try and move forward. With my life. My career. Everything that matters to me.

Stepping out of the shower, I wrap myself up in my fluffy robe and glance at myself in the mirror. _How the hell did you get to this point, Robbins?_ Shaking my head at myself, I do sometimes find it hard to believe that I've ended up alone again. I have everything I could ever possibly want, but love just doesn't ever want to hang around where I'm concerned. Maybe it will always be that way. Maybe I'm just not supposed to have a happy life behind closed doors. Everything about my life with Eliza has been more than I ever could have imagined, and I'm beginning to believe that the other shoe was always going to drop. I'm beginning to believe that it was always going to end this way. Maybe I never should have pursued her. This was always a mistake, and after giving her my absolute all...I'm the one left alone. I'm the one left on the floor trying to pick up the pieces of my life. Well, no more. It's time to look after myself. It's time turn into the cold hearted bitch I've always tried to avoid being. It's time to get back to the office and work my ass off like never before. I'm done with everything...and everyone.

My arms wrapped around my own body, the soft material hugging me calms me a little. It's almost 11 pm, but I'm not ready to sleep just yet. If I'm going to get back to work, I have to start now. I have to begin my thought process before I wake tomorrow feeling different. Grabbing my iPad from my bed, I take my glasses from the nightstand and head out into the living room. Yeah, it feels huge and lonely since Eliza left, but it's always been my space. It's always been where I locked myself away and felt my complete self. I'll get back to that soon enough. I have to. My sanity depends on it.

How do I feel right now? Honestly, I feel okay. I think I needed that conversation with her. I needed her to confirm that she had moved on, and now that she has, I _can_ let her go. I can survive. I've survived many times before, and I'll survive this. I didn't get to where I am by quitting, and I didn't get to where I am by rolling over. First on my list of things to do…find a new assistant. One that I will _not_ have a relationship with. I've been there and done that on more than one occasion and time and time again I've come to find that it doesn't end well. I've come to find that it only complicates my life.

Pouring myself a glass of my favorite red wine, I light the fire and drop down onto the couch, my body spreading out and relaxing. _God, it feels good to feel nothing anymore._ I know it won't always be good, but I have my family and I have Teddy. They're all I've ever needed…and they mean the world to me. Figuring I'll text Teddy and let her know that I'm okay, I grab my cell from the coffee table. Powering up my music system before I unlock my cell, I take a sip from my wine glass and smile to myself. _One day at a time, Zo. One day at a time._

Maybe I'll go out to dinner with my best friend tomorrow night. So long as I get things straightened out at the office, I can take the night off from anything work related, and I can relax with the only woman that has ever truly had my back. The only woman that has ever really cared about me fully. Unlocking my cell, my brow furrows when I find a text message and two missed calls from my ex.

 ** _I need to see you. X_**

Um, nope…she doesn't. Seeing each other only complicates everything and I'm done with complications in my life. I'm done with relationships and I'm done with love. I can love myself and that can be enough. Right now, I'm done with anything that concerns a woman, sex, or time spent with them. I really am.

 ** _You haven't needed to see me since you left so you don't need to see me twice in one night._**

Taking a file from the coffee table, I flip it open and take the papers from inside. It holds all of the applications I received when I originally posted the assistant job which Eliza ultimately got. There were a few others that caught my eye, so I'll take what's left of this night and I'll see who I'm happiest with. Lucie helped me out with my selection last time around, but I'll have her take a look when I return to the office on Monday morning. I'd offer it to her, but it was never really her thing. She prefers to be outside of my office and working on everything else.

 ** _We need to talk. X_**

 ** _No, we don't. I've said all I have to say. Go and be free, Eliza. I'm done._**

Throwing my cell down beside me, I remove all thoughts of my ex from my mind and concentrate on the task at hand. I was prepared to do the total opposite to what I've alwaysbelieved for her, but knowing that it took her all of five minutes to find someone else, that isn't happening. Jo is still more than welcome to the job I offered her, but I'm not doing it to try and win Eliza back anymore. I'm doing it because her best friend knows what she wants, and I know that she would be beneficial to my company.

* * *

"Thank you so much for coming by." Opening my door a little wider, Lucie steps inside my condo and removes her jacket. "You really didn't have to come over, but I appreciate it."

"It's no problem, Miss Robbins." Stopping in the middle of the room, she turns to face me. "I just wanted to take a look at the applications again. I remember we had thought about a few others back when we posted the job."

"Yeah, that's what I was struggling with." I agree as I run my fingers through my hair. I only called my secretary a little while ago, and even though I didn't expect her to offer to come over, I'll sleep better tonight with one less decision to make on my mind. "Can I get you a drink?"

"Sure." She smiles. "Anything is good."

"You okay with red?" I ask as I take another wine glass from the kitchen and round the island. "I can open something else if you'd prefer?"

"No, red is great." She gives me a thankful smile and heads for the papers spread all over my living room floor. "Mind if I take a look?"

"Not at all." I wave off her comment. "Knock yourself out."

"Mm.." She nods as she gets down to her knees. "I remember this one." Holding up a resume, I narrow my eyes and approach the woman sitting on my floor. "She was a close second."

"Julia Lawson…" I glance over her details and vaguely remember discussing a while ago. "Isn't she local?"

"Yeah." Lucie agrees. "Twenty minutes from the office, give or take."

"So, she could be available to start as soon as possible if she still wants the job?" Handing my secretary her wine, she thanks me and turns her attention back to other applicants.

"Yeah, I don't see why not." She shrugs. "There was one other woman, but the rest just didn't sit well with me. I won't lie, Miss Robbins, Eliza was the best out of this lot."

"Yeah, well Miss Minnick isn't with the company anymore so I have to find someone else." My tone cold, she glances up at me as I take a seat on the edge of the coffee table. "Sorry."

"Don't be." She waves me off. "This is good wine."

"Mmhmm…" I agree. "Remind me to give you a bottle to take home. A thank you for helping me out here."

"You know I'll always help you out, Arizona."

"I know, but it's late and you didn't have to come all the way here to look through some stuff that could have waited."

"And have you moody because you didn't sleep?" She raises an eyebrow. "You forget that I know you better than yourself. We both know that you wouldn't have slept if you didn't figure this out tonight."

"You're not wrong." I smile. "Still, I really appreciate it."

"Was there anything else you needed whilst I'm here?" She drops her gaze and sits up on her knees, moving a little closer to me as she takes another resume from the floor in front of the fire. "I can be whatever you need until you find someone else…" _Okay, I'm not entirely sure what that even means._

"No, just this is fine." I smile as I try to read her. Shifting even closer to me, she holds up another applicant and I take it from her hand. "I checked her out before but I'm not sure she is as good as the blonde."

"No?" She tilts her head a little, her hand now resting flat against the coffee table beside my leg. "She seems…okay."

"I don't want okay, though. I want amazing." Her eyes telling me everything I need to know, I try to put a little space between us, but my secretary is now right in front of me, and I don't know how I feel about it. I mean, she's a very attractive woman and it's no secret that we've already spent the night together before, but I'm not sure this is a good idea. I have to work with her, and I don't want anything serious. "Lucie…" I close my eyes as her hand comes to rest on my thigh. "We can't."

"You know you want to." She narrows her eyes and leans in a little closer, smirking. Her hand moving a little higher, I place my own over it and stop this from going any further. "No strings, okay?"

"No." I breathe out as her breath washes over my face. "We shouldn't do this. I'm not in a good place, and you deserve better."

"Arizona…" She gives me a slight smile. "I know that you aren't in a good place right now. Just…let me take care of you? Tonight, only…"

"I-I." My words cut off when she presses her lips against my own, my hand drops from hers and I know exactly where this is going. Lucie will never be the woman for me, but what's the harm in a little fun? She wants this...and my body is telling me that I want it, so why not? Why not just go with this and feel good for one night at least? Pulling her up to her feet, she smiles against my mouth and pushes my body back towards the couch. My robe now open, her fingers trail my skin and yeah, my body wants this. Maybe it's what I need. Maybe it's just what I need in my life right now. Everyone else is getting some, so why can't I?

Pushing me down onto my couch, her lips never leave my skin, and in this moment, I feel wanted for the first time in what feels like forever. I may be hurt and this may be a complete mistake, but right now I don't care. I just need to feel something other than pain. I need to feel something that tells me things can and will get better in my life. Straddling my legs, this blonde is about to give me that sense of feeling wanted. She's about to give me the feeling I've craved since my life fell apart. She's not who I want, but I'll settle for this right now. _One night…that's all this will ever be._

* * *

Lay breathlessly on the couch, my body feels totally spent but it's a good feeling. It's a familiar feeling. Sex never solves anything, but it's a damn good band aid to cover my wounds right now. I know I'll come to regret it someday, but right now…I'm feeling satisfied. I'm feeling like my life is mine again. The past two months have been absolute hell for me, but tonight I feel different. Coming down from my high feels…good. "You okay?" She asks when she senses that I'm thinking a little too hard.

"Yeah." I smile as I run my fingers through my hair.

"I knew there was a reason for me coming by this evening." She smiles as she runs her fingertips up my bare stomach. "I figured you needed someone."

"I just...you know nothing will ever come of this, don't you?"

"I do." She shrugs. "But I can be that person for you, Arizona. You know, when you need to release a little tension…I can totally be that person."

"Yeah, I'm just not sure it's a good idea." I give her a sad smile. "I didn't call you with the intention of this happening. I wanted your opinion."

"And you got it." She nods. "But I can always throw in a little extra for you when you need it." _She's sweet, but this won't be happening again._ I have to concentrate on my work. Myself. Sure, it felt good, but Lucie is my employee and that's how it should stay. I don't want this to come back to bite me in the ass. "Just, remember that, okay?"

"Okay." I agree. "I hate to do this, but you should go. I mean, I need to sleep, and I don't think you staying over is a good idea."

"No, that's okay." She smiles as she climbs off of me. "I think my job here is done." _God, she makes it sound like I've just hired her for the night._ "It will be good to have you back at the office next week."

"I'm sure you guys have missed me terribly." I laugh as I sit up and fasten my robe around my body. "It will be good to get back into things, though."

"Just go easy on us, okay?" Throwing me a wink, she straightens herself out a little and shrugs her jacket on. "I'll see you Monday, okay?"

"You will." I agree. Following my secretary to the door, she turns back and places a kiss below my ear. "Thanks for coming over."

"No problem." She pulls back and smiles. "Take care of yourself, okay?"

"I will." Getting the door for her, my heart drops into my stomach when I find Eliza standing on my landing. _Oh god._ Glancing down, I find an envelope in her hand and tears falling from her eyes. "E-Eliza, what are you doing here?"

"What is _she_ doing here?" My ex scoffs.

"It's not what it looks like." Lucie tries to diffuse the situation but I know that look on her face. I know that look of complete heartbreak. "I was jus-"

"Fucking Arizona?" She raises an eyebrow. "You just couldn't fucking wait to get back in there could you? You couldn't wait for the day that we messed up so you could get your hands on her."

"I didn't…" Lucie shakes her head.

"So, I've just imagined everything I heard?" She laughs.

"H-Heard?" I cut in. My life flashing before my eyes.

"The moans." She spits. "Your screams." Shaking her head, she hands over the envelope in her hand and hits the elevator call button. "I hope that fuck was worth it, Arizona, because you are both welcome to each other."

"Eliza, wait!" I try to stop her from leaving but she is furious right now. "Please, come inside?"

"What for?" She furrows her brow. "So you can sit with a smug smile on your face and tell me all about how she made you feel amazing? How she was just what you needed? I don't think so."

"It's not like that." I sigh. Lucie taking this as her cue to leave, she quickly steps into the waiting elevator and my ex moves away from her. A look of pure disgust on her face. "Please?"

"No." She holds up her hands. "I don't want to hear it."

"Then why are you here?" I ask as the elevator doors shut and it's now just Eliza and I. "Why did you come by?"

"Because I wanted to talk things out with you. I wanted to work something out for us. You, though? You had different plans."

"Wait a second." I stop her. "You don't have any right to be mad at me right now. Yeah, something happened, but I haven't done anything wrong."

"I didn't say you had." She smiles. "But really? Lucie? I didn't think you would stoop so low."

"Are you coming inside or not?" I ask, my tone a little calmer and softer. "I don't want to fight with you out here."

"You think I'm coming inside after what I've just heard?" She raises an eyebrow. "You really think I'd do that?"

"Well, you came here for some reason after I told you not to, so?"

"Yeah and now I know why." She smiles. "You didn't want me around while she was here…right?"

"Actually, no." I sigh. "She wasn't even supposed to be here."

"Well…she was, and you look like you've had an amazing night, so I'm leaving." Tears falling from her eyes, I close my own and try to wipe the image of Lucie from my mind. _Why the hell did I do that?_ "I broke it off with Antonia because I wanted to work this out with you, but it seems you finally moved on. Goodbye, Arizona." Glancing down into the envelope she has handed me, I find hundreds of images she has captured during our relationship. My heart breaking at the sight of them, I watch her leave me for what I fear is the final time.

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 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome as always. I'm sure you are all about to maul me, but hit me...I'm ready!**


	63. Chapter 63

**Characters belong to Shonda. The rest is mine.**

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Chapter Sixty-Three

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ELIZA'S POV

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I've never felt hurt like this. I mean, when I walked away from Arizona I was in unimaginable pain, but this? This is so much worse. I feel like I can't breathe. I feel like my body doesn't belong to me right now. I know I messed up by climbing into bed with Antonia just weeks after we broke up, but Lucie? Of all of the people in the world...she chose her? I just can't even bear to think about it. I can't bear it, but I also can't get it off of my mind. Her moans as I was standing on the other side of that door. That door that once held all of my hopes and dreams behind it. That door that she guided me through the first night that we met and had me scream her name until the sun came up. That door that now just holds painful memories. I can see it. I can picture it. Arizona writhing beneath that bitch. Her face as she came undone. Her heart racing as she felt that high that once I could only provide. God, this hurts…it hurts like I never thought it could. I don't know how things got so messed up, but they are and I'm not sure this can ever be fixed. I mean, I went there tonight with the intention of trying to figure us out. Discuss this plan my ex had. I went there with the hope that we could just hold each other, even if just for five minutes, but what I got was the total opposite. What I got was complete heartbreak and an image that will forever be burned into my mind.

I want to leave. For the first time since I moved here, I actually want to leave New York. Nothing is worth this amount of pain. Nothing is worth putting myself through this. Arizona included. She was the love of my life. She was the only woman I ever saw a future with. Even when I was with Antonia, she was all I could see. She was all I thought about. When she smiled, it did nothing for me. When she laughed, it was sweet, but it wasn't _my_ laugh. Nothing about her made my heart skip a beat. It didn't because she's not Arizona and my body recognized that. My mine constantly took me back to everything I'd experienced with my ex-fiancé and it just made me crave her even more. I'd like to say I still love her more than anything in this world, but right now…I actually feet hatred towards her. I don't like that feeling. I don't like the feeling of hating such an amazing woman, but Lucie made her feel good tonight and knowing that it was whilst I was begging for her time, her attention, that just hurts even more. It only makes that hatred seep a little deeper inside of me.

I can't even begin to imagine looking at her right now because I know that the second I do, that image will come back tenfold. I know that when I do eventually see her, my heart will break for that final time. Everything about my life is messed up beyond belief, and I don't even know how to begin piecing myself back together. I don't even know how to move on from this. I feel like this is going to break me more and more as the days pass. I feel like this is going to be a never-ending theme in my life.

It's 3 am, and I'm supposed to be working tomorrow. I didn't like the idea of working weekends after spending the most amazing ones with Arizona, but I needed a job and Saturday was a part of that contract. It's been okay because it's kept my mind off of things, but now...now I want to slowly die in my cold and lonely bed. I want to feel the ground swallow me up and disappear forever. I want to leave this awful world and never feel anything again. Turning onto my side, I fixed my eyes on the window and watch as the clear night sky brings back a world of memories. A world of love that I shared with the blonde who I've just said goodbye to for the final time. A world of passion and honesty. A world of everything I never imagined possible. I'll always be grateful to her for helping me to face my fears and come out to the world, but right now…that is the only thing I have to thank her for. Nothing else matters because any memory I had of us sharing an amazing life has just been totally erased when that woman walked out of her condo. She has ruined our past for me, and none of it will ever be the same again. None of it will ever make me feel that intense sense of love. None of it.

* * *

Waking to the sound of my cell blaring out against the nightstand, I'm startled from whatever awful dream I was having and reach for it blindly. I finally managed to get some sleep around 5 am, and right now…I'm barely even living. I've never felt so tired and destroyed in all of my life, and it's an awful feeling. "H-Hello?" I clear my voice of sleep.

"Where are you?" A familiar voice mumbles.

"Fuck off, Arizona." Ending the call, I drop my cell to the bed beside me and the tears fall hard and fast. My cell buzzing again, I close my eyes and pinch the bridge of my nose. _I'm not doing this._ I can't do this. As much as I thought about calling her and talking to her at 4 am, I can't. It won't solve anything and I'm tired of fighting. I really am. I'm tired of everything right now.

Silencing the call, I climb from my bed and pull on an oversized hoody. I need coffee, and I need to take a sick day at work. I can't possibly be around an office full of people right now, and quite frankly, I'm likely to punch someone out right now. My cell buzzing again, it's time to tell my ex once and for all to get out of my life. "What?" I spit as I answer the call.

"I need to see you." She cries.

"No, you don't." I laugh. "I needed to see you last night and instead you fucked your secretary so I'm clearly not the first thing on your mind."

"Eliza, please?"

"No! Do me a favor Arizona? Please for the love of fucking God, delete my number. Get out of my life. Go and fuck everything and everyone. We are more than done." Ending the call, I don't even feel sad anymore. I'm just furious. How fucking dare she call me and tell me she needs to see me. How dare she even call me at all. I know what she did was entirely up to herself and I know I can't be mad at her for sleeping with another woman, but it's who she slept with that I can't get past. It's who she chose to use to take away her pain. Fucking Lucie.

 ** _Let me take you to dinner tonight…_**

Is she for real? Like, is she actually on drugs? Why the hell would I want to share dinner with her? Why would I want to be anywhere near her? She's totally lost her mind.

 ** _Think hard about what you say on your next message because it will be the last one I ever receive from you. I don't want to share dinner with you because I can't even bear to look at you. I don't want to be in the same room as you let alone the same table. Leave me alone, Arizona. We have nothing left to say to each other._**

Rounding my kitchen island, I prepare some fresh coffee and brace myself against the counter. I know that this has gotten totally out of hand, but I wanted to try. I wanted to fix us. She, however, wouldn't see past my reasons for dating and decided to use Lucie to hurt me more than I ever thought possible.

 ** _Then I only have one thing to say to you, Eliza... I love you x_**

Taking one final look at her message, it breaks my heart to see those words on my screen. It breaks my heart because I know that we could have been amazing again. We could have had everything this world has to offer. Too much has happened now, though. Too much has been said…and done, and I know that this will forever hang over us. This isn't about kids anymore. This isn't about anything other than the fact that we are intentionally hurting each other. Bringing up her contact information, I scroll through the list of options and hit block. Yeah, it's time to block all contact with my ex. No matter how much I hate what I'm doing, it's the right thing to do. It's right because my mental health will never survive if I don't take some steps to protect myself. Myself, and my heart.

* * *

Wrapped up in my exes hoody, I'm struggling right now. I'm struggling with everything my life is about to become. To think that last night I could have been in her arms after we'd talked and discussed things, it's killing me inside. It's not even happening slowly, either. It's happening full force and I've no way of stopping it. I'd like to embrace this feeling I have going on inside me but I can't. If I do, it will actually kill me. My heart aches. My body hurts. My mind has totally gone and I don't even know if I'm truly with myself right now. I feel numb. Numb and destroyed. Devastated. Broken.

A knock on the door pulling me from my thoughts, I don't even have the energy to move. I don't have the strength to make my legs work anymore. I want to curl up into a ball and die. I really do. Another knock and I somehow manage to pull myself off of my couch. The couch I hoped I'd share with Arizona this weekend. The couch that I shouldn't even own because I should be at home with her. Unbolting my door, I glance down at myself and honestly, I look a mess. I look like an embarrassment. Pulling the door open, my heart drops into my stomach and my tears fall harder than ever. "What do you want?" I ask, my voice void of any emotion. I have no emotion left inside of me. I don't even know where these tears have come from.

"I needed to see you…"

"I told you I don't want to see you. I don't ever want to see you again, Arizona."

"Please?" She begs. Her own eyes red and puffy. "Look at you…you're hurting."

"And that is your fault." I breathe out as my legs turn to jelly. "I can't see you."

"You have to." She cries. "This can't be it for us, Eliza. It can't."

"It is." I manage to give her a sad smile. "This is totally it for us."

"No." She states. "Just no. It can't be. We were so good together and then everything got messed up."

"We were good together." I agree. "But I wanted to fix that last night. I realized exactly what you meant when you said you had a plan, and I knew I had to fix us. I just…you screamed her name, Arizona." Sobs wracking my body, I brace myself against the frame of the door and hold myself. It's all I can do. I have nobody else to hold me. "You loved every minute of it, and I was supposed to be there fixing this with you."

"I'm sorry." She whispers as she tries to take a hold of my hand. "Eliza, please? Can we just talk?"

"We have nothing to say." I shake my head. "How did you even find me?"

"I know people." She shrugs. "It wasn't hard.

"Seems not." I scoff.

"Even if this is the end…I just need one more conversation with you, please?" Dipping her head to meet my eyes, I drop my gaze a little lower and she steps a little closer to me. "Let me get you inside?"

Pushing off of the frame, I back up a little and she takes that as her cue to enter. I don't know why she needs to talk to me. I believe we have nothing left to say, but she seems to have other ideas. "Arizona, I don't know why you are here."

"Because I need to say some things to you." She sighs as she closes the door behind her. "I need you to listen, and then you can ask me to leave."

"Fine." I shrug as I drop down onto the couch. The place I've spent the entire morning. "Say what you have to say."

"I didn't do it to hurt you." She admits. "I didn't do any of that to hurt you, and I need you to believe that. If this is it…if you can never forgive me, then I need you to at least let me walk away with the knowledge that you believe I didn't do it to hurt you." Taking a seat on the edge of my coffee table, I'm listening, but I can't look at her. "I know you think I did, and I know you couldn't care any less about me than you probably do right now…but we have both made mistakes. We have both hurt each other and we are losing sight of the real reason that we even broke up." She's right. This has nothing to even do with our break up. "I lay on a beach in Mexico alone and realized that nothing in my life mattered if I didn't have you. I realized that even though I'd never seen kids in my future, I also couldn't see a future without you. It had been almost two months, and I still lay on that beach thinking about you. Everything that you are. Everything that you'd ever said to me. How you'd held me and how we'd shared a home, a life, together. It was all I could think about and it was sending me crazy." Realising that I should hear her out and respect her for what she is saying, my eyes find hers and she looks just as broken as me. We are a mirror image right now in terms of emotions. "I had it all figured out. I'd made a plan and I was sticking to it. I couldn't wait to get off of that flight so I could begin arranging whatever needed to be arranged. I didn't plan to contact you, and I didn't have any intentions of speaking to you about any of it because I needed to know that it was doable. I needed to be certain within myself that I was doing the right thing. Even though in my heart I knew it would always be the right thing, I couldn't let you down. I didn't want to build up your hopes for it to crash and burn around us."

"You wanted me back…" I think out loud.

"Of course, I did." She smiles. "I never ever wanted you to leave but you did, and I had to move past that. I knew the longer I left it, the more likely it would be that I was too late, but when I walked into that bar feeling better than I had in months, I didn't expect to see you with another woman. I didn't expect to see you at all." She clears her throat. "I'm not even mad at the fact that you were dating. Everyone deserves to have someone in their life who makes them smile. Who makes them happy. It was just how soon you did it that hurt me. It was the fact that I was barely holding on but you were spending your time with someone else. I get that, though. I get that you felt it would be better for you to try and move on. Me, though? I couldn't even bear the thought of truly moving on with my life. Not with you in it. So, I was hurt, yeah."

"I had to get you off my mind, Arizona. I was sending myself crazy every second that I spent thinking about you. Do you really think I wanted to be with someone else? Did you really think that she even compared to you at all?"

"You looked happy, Eliza…"

"Well, I guess I'm amazing at putting on a front, huh?"

"Whatever your reasons for doing it, it isn't my business. It will never be my business. We were broken up and you met someone else. You said I didn't miss you, though, and I did. I missed you so much that it hurt, physically. It crushed me Eliza and I didn't know how to even begin to deal with it. I just wanted everything to be okay with us, and once I'd realized that I needed you back. Once I realized that I couldn't imagine my life without you in it, I just thought you would come to me. Our home."

"I wanted to…" I sigh. "That's why I called you. You just wouldn't allow me five minutes."

"Because I was hurting." She drops her gaze. "I don't regret what happened last night, but I do regret who it happened with. I haven't done anything wrong here, and neither have you. We both have to accept that."

"I just can't believe you chose her, Arizona. Of all the people you could have had at your place…you chose her."

"It just happened." She sighs. "It wasn't ever my intention to sleep with Lucie…it just happened."

"I'm struggling with it right now," I admit. "I'm struggling to even look at you…"

"I know." Her voice breaks. "That's why I'm going to head off. I can see in your eyes that you hate me, Eliza, but I'd like to one day have your forgiveness. I don't expect it to be anytime soon, and I don't expect us to ever even be friends…but you have to believe that everything I've ever said to you was true. You have to believe that the time I spent with you has been the most amazing time of my life. Nobody could ever take that away from me, so please, when you can forgive me…call me. Whether it's in a week, or a year, just call me."

Standing, she glances down at me and I give her a slight nod. "I wanted the world for us, Eliza. I really did. I just…this got way too messed up and I know there will never be an us again. I'd like to tell you that I can't let go, but I have to. I have to let you be free to do as you please because I know how much last night hurt you. We will never get back to how we were, and I accept that. I accept it because I can see that complete disgust in your eyes, and that's something I'll have to live with." My front door opening, I fixed my gaze on the wall in front of me and try to come up with something to say. I have nothing. I don't know how I feel about anything anymore. One minute I hate her, but the next I can't live without her. I hate this feeling of not being in control of my own emotions, but right now I'm torn.

"I hope you are able to fix things with Antonia." She smiles as a single tear falls down her gorgeous face. "She made you smile like I did, so I hope you can work things out with her. See you around, Eliza."

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Massive response to the last chapter which I didn't expect at all. I take everything you say on board, but those of you that seem to think this is a personal storyline to me…it's not. This is FICTION and I simply enjoy writing angst. Thanks for all of your support and tears, at least I know I'm getting you right where it hurts. Xx**


	64. Chapter 64

**Characters belong to Shonda. The rest is mine.**

* * *

Chapter Sixty-Four

* * *

ARIZONA'S POV

* * *

I've been home for the past few hours and I'm feeling a little weird. Seeing Eliza in such a bad way shocked me if I'm being totally honest, but I didn't do anything wrong. Yes, Lucie should never have been my woman of choice, but I'm still not wrong for doing what I did. It was nice. That release was nice. That's all it was, though. Something nice to take my mind off of my real problems. Turns out, Lucie only became a real problem, too. I mean, I know she is Eliza's friend and my staff, but I didn't expect her to be so hurt by my actions. Honestly, I didn't think she would care. She was happy and in a relationship the last time we spoke, so no...I didn't expect that reaction from her at all. I feel like I should apologize to Lucie and I don't know why. She knew what she was doing and I never once insinuated that it would go any further between us, but I still need to apologize. Taking my personal cell from the coffee table, I unlock the screen and pull up my messages.

 ** _I'm sorry about last night. It shouldn't have happened. Thank you for the help with the resumes. Arizona._**

Returning to the digital plans in my lap, I add a few notes to the page open on my iPad and try to concentrate on what I'm doing. I've had zero concentration all day, but I need to focus on the future of my business. I need to focus on what I can control, and that is everything I have in front of me right now. My work and everything I know.

 ** _You know where I am if you need me. For anything at all. Xx_**

I know Lucie is trying to keep some sort of relationship going between us, but it really is unnecessary. I have no desire to repeat last night. I have no desire to sleep with another woman again right now. My cell ringing in my hand, I hit the accept button. "Hey, Ted's."

"You doing okay?"

"Guess so." I shrug. "Just trying to get back into things at the office before Monday. It's not as easy as I thought it would be."

"Still nothing from her?" She asks. "I thought guys would have worked some stuff out last night when she took you home."

"No." I breathe out. "We had words and then I closed the door on her. She came back, but it only messed everything up even more."

"How did it possibly make anything worse?" My best friend asks.

"Someone was here." I sigh. "Someone was here...with me naked on my couch."

"Fucking hell, Arizona." I can hear the disappointment In Teddy's voice, but I really don't need her judgment right now. "You just can't help yourself, can you?"

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" I spit.

"You wanted her back last night so how the hell did you end up beneath someone else?" She laughs. "I mean, really?"

"It just happened," I admit. "She shouldn't have even been here, but I'm beginning to realize that it was exactly what she wanted when I called her last night and she decided that she _had_ to come over."

"Who was it?" She asks.

"Lucie," I mumble.

"The secretary?" She scoffs. "Well, fuck me. Talk about a downgrade, Zo!"

"Teddy…"

"No, I'm serious. I'm all for having your back and being there for you, but you really fucked it up going back to her."

"Yeah, you don't need to tell me." I scoff. "I'm fully aware of the mistake I made, but it was what I needed at the time. Even if I didn't expect anything like that to happen when she came over."

"Oh, come on!" She laughs. "Everyone knows Lucie wants you 24/7. Everyone has known it since the last time you ended up with her in your bed."

"Yeah well, it won't be happening again. I'm done with sex. I'm fucking done with women altogether." Tapping away at my iPad, I close my eyes and try to stop the mood that is fast approaching. "I don't want to talk about it anymore."

"Fine." Teddy states. "But what about Eliza?"

"What about her?" I furrow my brow.

"Is that really it for you guys?"

"Yeah…" I nod. "I went to her place this morning and she hates me, Teddy. Like, I've never seen that look from her before. She basically caught me banging my secretary, so I don't expect anything less from her. I feel awful. I just want to go over to her place and lock us both away forever."

"I'm so sorry it's come to this, Zo. I know you will come back stronger than ever, but I'm so sorry it ended this way."

"Me too." I sigh. "Wanna grab dinner tonight? Or come over to my place and I'll order in?"

"Yeah, that would be nice." She agrees. "Just relax, okay? Take the day to clear your head. Work will still be there on Monday morning."

"I can't relax. If I'm not focusing on my work, I'm thinking about Eliza. Relaxation ain't happening anytime soon. I'm trying to let her go but it's so damn hard."

"Just try." She begs. "I know it's hard, and I know you hate not having her in your life, but you have to let go Arizona. You have to focus on yourself."

"Yeah, I know."

"Call me later if you change your mind about dinner. If not, I'll head over for around seven. Bye, Zo." Our call ending, I toy with my cell and think about the morning I've had. It was hard to actually let Eliza go, but I know it's what she wanted. I know it's what she needed. I'm only hurting her no matter what I do, so allowing her to be free was the right choice to make. I'd never forgive myself if I made her feel any worse than I already have, and even though I still believe I haven't done anything wrong, she doesn't see it that way. She is hurt. She is hurt and I'm to blame for that. _I just hope she can be happy in every aspect of her life…_

* * *

Showered and finally dressed, I check the time and find that it's a little after 6:30. Teddy texted a little while ago to make sure I wasn't drunk and on the floor again, and now I'm waiting for her to arrive. The option to head out was there but we both decided that a night in was what I needed. I just need to talk this all out with my best friend. Well, I'll talk it out with anyone given half the chance, but she is the only one I trust enough with my emotions. She is the only one I know I can feel safe around when I'm at my most vulnerable. Right now…I'm beyond vulnerable. Pouring two glasses of wine, I move around my kitchen and grab a few menus from the drawer. I don't know what we will be eating tonight, but I have all options available and on show for her. She loves her food, and I do too, but I'm not feeling like an absolute banquet tonight. I'm not feeling like anything at all.

The fire lit, I have my usual low lighting going on around my home and it makes me feel a little more settled. It's my normal. It's my peace. Even if my mind isn't at peace, my body is. An expected knock at the door, I cross the distance and pull the door open. "Hey…" My smile turning into a furrowed brow, I glance up and down at the body standing in front of me. "W-What are you doing here?"

"I didn't want to see you earlier, but I can't get you off of my mind," Eliza states as she keeps her eyes fixed firmly on the floor. "I know I should have called, but I was hoping the offer of dinner would still be there?"

"O-Of course." I stutter. Unable to quite believe that this woman is here. "Come in. I just need to make a call."

"Oh." She glances around my home and gives me a sad smile, her body inching back towards the door she has just walked through. "Sorry, I'm disturbing you."

"You're not." I rush my words out.

"Arizona, you don't have to lie to me." She sighs. "I just have to leave before she arrives."

"Why?" I furrow my brow. "I'll just call Teddy and tell her I have to rearrange."

"T-Teddy?"

"Yeah." I give her a look of confusion. "Oh, you thought someone else was coming here?"

"Yeah…" She gives me an awkward smile. "Are you sure it's okay for me to be here?"

"You know you are always welcome here." I smile as I send off a quick message to my best friend.

 ** _Have to cancel tonight. Eliza just showed up at my place. A x_**

 ** _Don't worry. Just talk and pray that she is there to make amends. T x_**

 ** _God, I hope so. A x_**

Powering my cell off, I set it down on the kitchen counter and turn back to face Eliza. I can see she is unsure of what is happening right now, but Teddy understands and she wouldn't want me to turn my ex away if it meant there was a possibility of fixing things. I'm not confident that it's the reason why she is here, but she is here for a reason and I have to hear her out. I have to hear her out because she has brought herself here without me asking, and after today, I never expected to see her again. "Can I get you anything to drink?"

"Please." She nods. "You've opened my favorite white wine so I'd love a glass of that if that's okay?" _Ugh, she can have the entire case if she wants it._

Handing her a glass, she gives me a thankful smile and moves further into the condo. "You okay?" I ask. "I just…I didn't expect you to come by."

"Feels weird being here." She breathes out as she moves into the living room. "It feels like it's been forever since I shared this space with you."

"Yeah." I smile as I take in her entire figure from behind. _This is just dinner._ I have to remember that. "It's nice to have you here, though."

"I'm sorry about this morning." She turns to face me and shifts a little uncomfortably on her feet. "I just…I hadn't slept and I really didn't have any conversation in me.

"That's okay." I shrug. "I didn't expect you to even allow me to come in so I would have taken whatever I could have got."

"I didn't expect you to find me so I was a little shocked to see you standing outside my door." Taking a seat, she sips on her wine and glances around my home. "God, I miss this place."

"I miss you being here if that means anything to you right now." Closing the distance between us, I take a seat a little further away than I'd like to be from her and she studies my face. "Before you say anything else, I want you to know that I'm sorry for how this ended."

"Me too." She breathes out. "I don't hate you…"

"I appreciate you are trying, Eliza, but you can be honest with me. I wouldn't expect anything less…"

"No, I mean…I thought I did, but I don't. I just hated everything we had become. You were right, though. We have both made mistakes."

"Thank you for admitting that." I sit back in my seat and cross my legs. "If I could change it all I would, but I told you I'd let you go…and I have. At least, I'm trying."

"What plans did you have?" She asks, dismissing the comment I've just made.

"Oh, nothing." I smile and drop my gaze. "It doesn't matter anymore."

"It does." She admits. "Please…tell me?"

"Just, I wanted to try and give you what you wanted. I wanted to do it all with you. Kids." I clear my throat. "I planned to train Jo up so she could take over for me when I needed to be with you. With our kids. Sounds stupid when I say it out loud, but it sounded like a good idea in my head at the time."

"It doesn't sound stupid." Her voice breaking, I furrow my brow and move a little closer to her.

"Sorry." I place my hand over her own. "I didn't mean to make you cry. Just…you asked."

"No, you didn't do this." Relieved when she doesn't move away from me, her eyes find mine and I'm seeing her completely for the first time what feels like forever. "I did this. I did all of it."

"All of what?" I ask, totally confused.

"Everything that's happened…it's all my fault."

"How so?"

"I walked away from _you_ , Arizona. Then I met someone else. Yet I'm the one who is here and listening to you apologize when really, I should be the one doing that. I should be the one begging for your forgiveness."

"Eliza…" I breathe out as I place my glass down. "Look at me." My fingers curling beneath her chin, she glances up at me. "I don't want you to apologize. You did what you thought was best. You walked away because you needed more and I'm okay with that. It's just one of those things that life throws at us. I let you go because I knew I couldn't truly make you happy and after the past few days, I know I don't make you happy anymore."

"I thought I needed more." She cries. "But all I really need is _you,_ Arizona. I just need you, and anything else that happens we can deal with when it comes."

"Yeah, that was all I wanted." I agree. "But you did the right thing. You left when you were supposed to. I just wish I could have had a little more time with you."

"No, you're not hearing what I'm saying." She laces our fingers together and my heart skips a beat. I've longed to touch her skin so much since she left, and now I am…I can barely breathe. "I want to come home, Arizona. I want to be with you."

"Why?" I whisper, my emotions taking over. "Why do you want to come home?"

"Because I cannot bear the thought of any more of this. I cannot bear the thought of spending my life regretting my decision to leave. Unless you cannot do this, I would like to try to fix us…"

My stomach flipping with each word she speaks, I release her hand from my grip and stand, grabbing my glass of wine as I do. Making my way into the kitchen, I knock back what is left of my glass and pour a fresh measure. _I don't know what the hell is even happening right now._ "I don't understand."

"What do you mean?" She furrows her brow.

"Just…this morning I let you go. This morning I asked you to forgive me for last night and you barely gave me two words, but now you're here and saying all these things and I don't know why you want me back."

"Because you being the amazing woman that you are, you actually tried to figure this out for us. You took your time to think about our future and you wanted it to work. I'm the one who stopped that from happening. I'm the one who didn't give us any time to figure this out. I'm the one who messed us up. Not you. Not last night. Not me dating someone else. Just me in general. I messed us up."

"Y-You want to come home…" I repeat her words to myself. "You want there to be an us again." My head is such a mess that I'm not sure she is really even here in my condo right now. I'm so scared of this being untrue that I'm expecting to wake up any moment now and find myself alone. "Eliza…"

"I want to come home, Arizona." Confirming what I'm saying, she approaches me and I brace myself against the kitchen counter. My head dropping on my shoulders, I breathe through the tears that are falling and she places her hand on the small of my back. My breath catching in my throat as my body responds to her touch, my heart rate increases and I'm frozen in my spot. "I'm sorry I messed up." She whispers as she turns me in her arms. "So sorry."

"Is this real?" I ask, my voice barely above a whisper. "Is this actually happening or are you just trying to hurt me a little bit more?"

"No…" She gives me a sad smile as my eyes find her own. "I never wanted to hurt you, Arizona. I'm sorry that I did, but if you would allow me to…I want to make this better between us. I don't even have to come by just yet. I just need to know that there is a chance…"

"I want that." I nod. "I've never _not_ wanted it."

"I know…" She admits. "I know this was all on me. Just…can I hold you?" _It's all I've wanted._ Giving her a slight nod, she pulls me into her body and wraps her arms around my waist. I've never felt anything like it before. Her strength as she holds me that little bit tighter when she knows I need it…it's like we have always been okay. It's like home. "I missed you so much, Arizona." Her face nuzzled into the crook of my neck, she inhales deeply and her body shakes. Sobbing against my skin, it breaks my heart, but I'm glad she is here. I'm thankful for her honesty. "I love you and I'm sorry."

"Don't cry," I whisper as she pulls back and my fingers run through her hair. Cupping her face with one hand, she closes her eyes and leans into my touch. "Please, don't cry."

"I thought you would have asked me to leave." She whimpers. "After my behavior this morning, I thought you'd have kicked me straight out of here."

"All I've wanted is to talk to you, Eliza." My thumb running across her bottom lip, she smiles and her eyes remain closed. She's simply feeling this right now. She's taking it all in. "All I've wanted is to hold you and kiss you," I admit as my lips inch closer to her own. "I just wanted to love you." Her lips connecting with my own, fresh tears fall from her beautiful eyes, but I'm not concerned. I just need to feel that spark. That undeniable connection we've always had. I just need to know it's still there and yeah…it definitely is. Not wanting to do too much too soon, I pull back and smile. "I know things aren't perfect, and I know it isn't as simple as just forgetting what has happened, but I'd love you to be a part of my life again. The most important part."

"Yeah?" She sniffles. "You'd really have me back?"

"I wouldn't be here with you right now if I didn't want you back, Eliza."

"We can be good again, can't we?"

"I don't doubt it for one second." I smile. "We have things to discuss, but maybe we could just sit for a little while and share dinner…"

"I'd like that." She releases a deep breath. "Thank you."

"For what?" I furrow my brow.

"Being you." Her words swirling in my head, I close my eyes and allow myself a moment to take in what has happened tonight. I allow myself a moment to truly breathe for the first time in two months. How does it feel? Amazing. This morning I was letting her go for good, and now she is standing in my home. No, our home. Because it is and it always will be our home. No matter how long we spend apart, she will always be a part of this place…and I'd never want it to be any different.

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 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome as always.**


	65. Chapter 65

**Characters belong to Shonda. The rest is mine.**

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Chapter Sixty-Five

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ELIZA'S POV

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God, this evening has been amazing. When Arizona left this morning, I realised the mistakes I'd made. I realised that regardless of how I was feeling…she was the one hurting. Not me. Maybe mine was guilt. It's certainly what it felt like by the time she had walked out of the door. She slept with Lucie, and it still hurts to think of them both in that way, but who am I to judge? Who am I to be mad? Arizona is welcome to do as she pleases. Especially when I'm the one who had already walked out of her life and found someone else. I mean, I say I found someone else, but it wasn't ever going to go anywhere. I knew that. I'm not entirely sure anything would ever go anywhere with anyone other than Arizona. She is all I want. I tried to get her off of my mind but it only made things worse. I tried to imagine my life without her, but it was too painful to think about. I'm here, though. I'm here with her and it feels strange. Everything about this evening has felt strange, but still amazing. We've both had awkward silences, but I guess that's expected. I guess it's going to take a little time to figure things out and for things to return to normal. Well, as normal as they can be.

Sitting on the floor in front of the fire, Arizona is down in her bedroom and I'm giving her a little space. I don't want to seem too overbearing right now since we have only been talking for the past few hours. I want nothing more than for things to just go back to how they were, but they can't. They can't because things have been said that can't be unsaid. Hearts have been broken and attitudes have been thrown around without any care for the other person. So, no...things can't just go back to how they were in the blink of an eye. It doesn't work like that. It's also not good to just forget about what has happened. It's a part of our past. It's a part of our life together. I hate that we spent two months apart, but it happened and we cannot change that. We cannot turn back time and do this differently. I just don't know how to fix us.

Arizona has been great this evening, and we enjoyed dinner together, but I fear that this could unravel quickly if I'm not careful. I feel like it could turn to shit if I don't do this right. I want her to be the one who takes the next steps in our relationship. I want her to initiate contact when she believes it's time. I'm just scared that if I touch her, she will back off. She will push me away. I know she is mad that I started dating, so I want her to be the one who says when things go a little further. I mean, this all feels like the first time for me right now. This feels like the first date and I don't know what to do with myself. Things were so good between us that it's hard to believe we ever broke up. At the same time, I feel like I don't even know her. I feel like she's totally changed in the two months we were apart and I don't know how to approach anything with her.

When we first met, I wouldn't have hesitated to touch her. I wouldn't have thought twice about pushing her against the wall and making her feel good. This time, though…I'm scared. I'm scared that she won't want this. If it takes weeks or even months to get back to our good place, I'm okay with that, I just don't know how to be around her right now.

The sound of bare feet approaching, I stay in my position and glance up at the woman who has just entered the room. "Hey." I smile.

"What are you doing down there?" She gives me a sad smile.

"Just thinking." I shrug. "Thanks for a nice evening."

"You're welcome." Getting down on her knees, she takes a seat facing me on the floor and furrows her brow. "It was just dinner."

"But it meant so much to me." I sigh. "You didn't have to give me your time."

"I think we've spent enough time apart, don't you?"

"Yeah, and I'm to blame for that. I just appreciate you allowing me in here tonight." The flames of the fire dancing in front of us, I take her hand in my own and she tightens her grip a little. "I'm sorry for hurting you, Arizona."

"I know." She gives me a small smile. "You're here, though, and now we move on, right?"

"God, I hope so." Releasing a deep breath, I study her face but I don't find any signs of her worrying. I don't find any signs of her not wanting me here. "I just…I'm scared."

"Of what?" She asks, genuinely intrigued. "What are you scared of?"

"Getting this wrong," I reply. "Hurting you."

"We can't get it wrong." She smiles. "We just have to get back to where we were."

"What if we can't get back to that place, though?" I am genuinely concerned that this will never be the same, but I want to fix us so much. "What if this has changed too much?"

"Eliza…" She brings my hand up to her lips and places a soft kiss on my knuckles. "I know this feels weird, it does to me, too. Just…slowly, okay?"

"Yeah…" I drop my gaze. "Thanks for giving me a chance. You didn't have to, and honestly, I don't know why you have, but thank you."

"I'm not giving you a chance. I'm giving _us_ a chance."

"I get that, and I know you are trying not to lay the blame anywhere here, but ultimately, I'm the one who created this mess. I feel so stupid for being here when I'm the one who was so determined to live my life without you."

"Do you _want_ to live your life without me?" She asks, her head dipping a little to meet my gaze. "Do you still believe that it's the best option?"

"No."

"Then no one is to blame." Pulling me into a hug, it feels so good to have her arms around me. It feels like home. Arizona is my home, though, and I should have always remembered that. I should have always stayed and figured this out. Everything is possible if you try, right? I do feel like an asshole for walking away, though. I feel like a complete asshole.

"The hurt I've put you through." I sigh. "God, I can't even bear to think about it." My voice breaking, she pulls back from our embrace and gives me a sad smile. "I hate how I've made you feel. Every time I close my eyes, all I see is your face the day I left. All I see is the complete heartbreak I'd caused."

"You want the truth?" She asks, her eyebrow slightly raised. "That night when you left me…I couldn't breathe. I couldn't feel anything at all, but I knew I was in pain. I knew that the tightness in my chest was complete pain, but I couldn't do anything about it." She sighs. "I couldn't run after you and beg you to stay. I couldn't do that because I couldn't give you what you wanted. I couldn't be the one to give you everything. I also couldn't be the one who lied and told you what you wanted to hear so that you would stay."

"I know, and I appreciate that."

"I mean, I'd like to believe that if you had stayed I'd have figured this all out and my plan would still be a plan, but I couldn't risk that. I couldn't risk hurting you further down the line after we'd have been married and whatever else came our way, so you did the right thing. I'll always understand that."

"You went to Mexico…" I smile.

"I did." She nods. "I'd spent almost a month drinking myself into oblivion. Teddy had to pick me up off of the floor more than once, but she was here for me. I had someone." She smiles. "I haven't even been back to the office since you left. I just...I needed to unravel. I needed to allow the hurt to just be inside of me. It was the only thing keeping me alive, Eliza. Then I woke one morning with the worst hangover imaginable and I realized what I was doing was wrong. I realized, five weeks on, that you weren't coming back to me and I couldn't continue to live how I was living…existing, even. I had to find a way to get myself together, so Mexico was the first thing I thought of."

"I'm sorry…"

"This isn't about me making you feel bad." She replies. "I just lay on the beach. Watched people. Studied people. I had nothing else to do so I thought why not just see how other people live. Why not watch them instead of allowing my life to fall apart. Then a week into my vacation, it hit me. It hit me harder than ever before…"

"What did?" I furrow my brow.

"The fact that I could have that future with you." She smiles, unshed tears in her eyes. "I mean, I'm a multi-millionaire, Eliza…I can always work things out. If I want something, there is no reason why I can't have it. I'm not saying that I deserve everything because of my money, but I'm saying anything is possible. If I want kids, I can have them. I just have to work things out at my business."

"And do you want kids?" I ask. I know she said she had a plan, but the discussion we had before was past tense. She didn't give me anything at all to say that she _still_ wants her plan to work out.

"Only with you." She smiles, her voice breaking. "Anyone else, I'd continue as I was and stay as I am, but with you…yes."

"Wow." I breathe out.

"Nothing is going to happen soon. I mean, I believe we are way off starting a family but in my future…I see kids with you, yes." _Oh, God. She wants it. She wants this with me._

"I wish I'd never walked away…"

"But you did." She shrugs. "There is nothing we can do about that now."

"I know." I drop my gaze. "Why was she here?" I've been wanting to ask her since I caught Lucie here but I didn't think it was appropriate. It will only play on my mind if I don't get it out there, though.

"Lucie?" Arizona asks and I give her a nod in agreement. "She was going through resumes with me for a new assistant."

"You haven't filled the position yet?"

"No. I hoped you would come back but you didn't and I'm assuming you have a job now."

"I do, but I hate it," I admit. "I'm at an insurance company downtown."

"Insurance company?" She wrinkles her nose. "Ew!"

"I know." I laugh. "The money ain't so bad, though, and I needed something. There was an opening, so?"

"So…you are wasted in that job." She states.

"Maybe, but it's not as bad as it could be, I guess." Shrugging, Arizona rolls her eyes and I furrow my brow. "What?"

"Surely you are going to come back to the company?"

"I don't know." I sigh. "I'm not sure it's a good idea."

"Why not?"

"Just...I'm not sure I could face Lucie."

"Eliza...what happened with her was a one-time thing. I swear." She gives me a genuine look and I trust that she is telling me the truth. "It just happened. I was hurting and she was here. When she came over, I had no intentions of sleeping with her. I've never thought about her that way, and you have to believe that it's _never_ happened whilst we were together."

"I know."

"She knew exactly what she was doing when she decided to show up here, but it takes two, and I hold my hands up. I didn't even try to stop her. It just happened. It shouldn't have, but it did. She knows it will never happen again, too. I told her that before she even left here."

"I'm not mad at you for sleeping with her…"

"Yes, you are." She counters. "But that's okay. I'm mad at myself for sleeping with her."

"I just…I hated seeing her leave here." Time to be honest if this is ever going to work. "I'd always wondered if she would try anything on with you. I saw how she used to look at you, and then she said that stuff about you when we first met. About how it's what you always do to woo women."

"Yeah…" She gives me a sad smile. "I see that now. I just thought she wanted to be with you."

"Me too, but I think it's _you_ she has always had a thing for. It's _you_ she wanted all along. I guess seeing her leave here just confirmed all of my suspicions."

"Why didn't you ever talk to me about it?" Arizona asks.

"Because it was never a problem." I shrug. "She never really did anything to make me worry. I've seen many women look at you like they want you and that's totally fine. We all know how gorgeous you are." A slight blush creeping up her neck, you'd think we'd only just met. I've seen this woman naked. I've watched her come undone beneath me on a daily basis for months. The nights we've shared together have been unimaginable at times…but here she is, blushing at the comment I've made. "Lucie isn't my concern, though, if you don't believe there is any need for concern."

"I don't." She shakes her head a little. "She took her chance and she got what she wanted. That's my own fault, I guess." A comfortable silence falling between us, her hand is still gripping my own and it feels nice. Everything about being here feels since. I still feel like I don't belong here, but that's because of the guilt I have deep inside of me. Guilt I'm not sure I'll ever be rid of. I have to try, though. I have to try and make things good between us. "Did you want another drink?" She asks as she gets to her feet.

"N-No, thank you." I smile. "I should probably head off. It's late and you look like you could use some sleep."

"Oh." She clears her throat. "Can I get you a car?"

"It's okay. The fresh air will do me good." Getting to my own feet, I head for the open space and slip my converse on. "I had a really great night." Giving her a genuine smile, she returns one of her own but she looks a little upset. "Are you okay?"

"Y-Yeah." She waves off my comment.

"No, you're not," I state. "What is it?"

"I just…I don't want you to leave." She shoves her hands in the back pockets of her jeans and gives me a slight shrug.

"I didn't think it was a good idea to stay just yet but if you want me to, I can." Stepping a little closer to her, she leans back against the kitchen island and sighs. "Whatever you want, Arizona."

"No. It has to be what we both want." She replies. "I don't want you to stay just because you think I'll be upset if you don't. You have a separate life to me now."

"I don't want a separate life from you, though."

"Then stay?" She asks, her eyebrow raised. "If you want to."

"I do." I smile. "Just, however you want to take this, okay?"

"Okay." I want nothing more than to feel her skin against my own but now isn't the time for that. Now isn't the time for using sex as a means of forgetting. That time will come when it comes. Right now, I'm just happy to be here with Arizona. Right now, I'm just happy with the possibility of things being okay between us. It may all disappear one day when we least expect it, and in a way, I hope that it does…but in this moment, I'm prepared to wait a lifetime for intimacy with Arizona. I'll wait forever so long as I can at least have her arms wrapped around me, holding me tight. I've always felt the safest when she is protecting me, and right now…I need a little of that protection.

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 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome as always. I'm overwhelmed by the response to the past few chapters and the reviews sent my phone crazy. Thanks a million. Xx**


	66. Chapter 66

**Characters belong to Shonda. The rest is mine.**

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Chapter Sixty-Six

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ARIZONA'S POV

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Waking to the strangest feeling, I furrow my brow and glance to my right. Eliza sleeping soundly beside me, a light sheen of sweat covers my skin and my heart feels heavy in my chest. I've just had an awful dream, and it's woken me. It's not often that my dreams actually cause me to wake up, but this one did. This one makes me feel like I could cry right now. I don't want to, and I know it's just a dream…but it felt as real as this moment right now. It felt as real as Eliza lying beside me. It's been so long since she has shared this bed with me, and last night was probably the first night I've slept completely since she left. Sure, I had the dream, but initially, it was the most perfect sleep I could have hoped for. I'm not sure I moved from my position for a good few hours, and that's not like me. All I've done since I've slept alone is toss and turn all night long. Completely broken sleep. Honestly, I'd be lucky if I got an hour uninterrupted, but now? Now she is here. She is in my arms. I'm not sure she is actually even breathing right now. She looks too peaceful. Maybe she's struggled with sleep since she left, too. Maybe she's tossed and turned for nights on end and resorted to sleeping pills like I did once or twice. I don't know.

Shifting back in the bed a little, her back molds to my front and her ass comes to rest on my thighs. _Her favorite position._ When she is sleeping like this, I'm usually lucky to wake her before midday. It's _her_ position. It feels so good to have her here like this, and even though things are a little up in the air with us right now, I know that we can work it out. I know that we can be us again. Honestly, I don't want this to hang over us for too long, but she seems a little different than I remember her. She seems nervous. Quiet. Contemplative. Maybe I'll bring it up with her, but I don't want to push her too hard. I don't want her to think that she has to rush into anything. It feels so new again for the both of us, and that's how I have to treat it. Like it's new. Like we are spending the night together for the first time. Like, I don't know her.

Sure, we were engaged and we'd been living together for what felt like a lifetime, but things are different now, and she said that herself last night. I know she is sorry for what has happened, but I really need her not to feel guilty. Which I know she is. It is written all over her face. I can see it in those beautiful eyes. It breaks my heart knowing that she is scared about us, but there is no reason to be. We just have to brush the past away and move forward. If I have to woo her all over again, I totally will, but I'm hoping it won't come to that. I'm hoping that maybe she will spend the day here and we can just take it one step at a time. Do our usual thing. Snuggle in front of the fire and watch some trashy TV. It was always our favorite thing to do when we were locked away here, and I'm hoping it can still be on our list. Like our walks in Central Park. Enjoying coffee at our usual spot. Sharing the finest Italian New York has to offer. I want it all with her again. It may seem like the tiniest thing to most people, but those things are the things that always mattered to me most. They always will.

Startled from her sleep, she sits bolt upright in bed and glances down at me. "S-Sorry." She runs her fingers through her hair and shifts away from me a little. "I was sleeping, I didn't realize."

"Um…" Furrowing my brow, I study her face. "What are you talking about?"

"I just…I was the little spoon and it's not the time for that yet. I know, so I'm sorry." About to remove herself from the bed, I grip her wrist and give her a knowing look.

"Lie back down, Eliza."

"I'll just take a shower and then I'll leave so you can get on with your day." She gives me a sad smile. "You can just call me whenever you want to do this again. Or grab dinner or coffee or something?"

"I said lie down." My arm wrapping around her waist, I pull her back down onto the mattress and she lies impossibly still. "Turn back around," I whisper. "Just lie with me and stop rambling."

"I wasn't rambling." She croaks out. Her voice still filled with sleep. "I just don't want you to think that I only want to be in your bed for sex."

"Why would I think that?" I ask. "And it's not my bed. It's _our_ bed."

"Yeah, one day…hopefully." She sighs as she turns her back to me and I wrap my arm around her waist. "That feels so nice."

"Good." I smile as I take in the scent of her shampoo. "That's how it's supposed to feel, right?" I really need her to stop this worrying. It's making me feel uncomfortable and I already feel uncomfortable enough after my dream a little while ago. "You remember the first time we did this?"

"Did what?" She asks, her voice filled with emotion.

"Spooned." I smile. "It was the middle of the night and you didn't feel so good. You couldn't settle. You'd kept me awake for hours, and all you needed was this. You just needed to be held. You fell asleep within five minutes of doing it, and it was our thing ever since."

"Yeah, I remember." I know she is smiling, I can feel it. "We slept until midday. That was the first time you'd stayed in bed for so long since you were in college."

"Yeah." I laugh. "Felt good, though. You know, not worrying about work or the stress of the morning traffic. It felt good holding you against me and knowing that I'd settled you. That I made you feel safe."

"You're telling me?" She replies. "It felt amazing."

"I've missed you so much, Eliza." Placing a kiss below her ear, she tightens her grip on my hand around her waist and her body completely relaxes. "I don't want us to always be like this. I don't want you to be feeling like this. I just want the Eliza I know and love back."

"I know." She whispers. "She's still here, she's just feeling super guilty right now."

"I know, but you don't have to feel that way." Shifting my hand, I slip it up her tee and rest it against the bare skin of her stomach. "We are okay. Not perfect, but we will be again. I promise."

"I thought about you every single day." She admits. "Every night when I lay in bed, you were all I could see."

"I hope you didn't tell Antonia that." I try to lighten the mood a little and show her that I'm not mad. "Wouldn't have made her feel too great."

"She knew…"

"Knew what?" I ask.

"That you were always on my mind." Turning in my arms, I finally get to stare into those beautiful green eyes I've missed. "She made a comment once or twice."

"Oh." I drop my gaze. "I'm sorry that you had to feel that way when you were trying to move on."

"I'm not." She shrugs, and a slight hint of my Eliza creeps through. "I never wanted to forget you. I never wanted to see any other face other than yours when I closed my eyes."

"Yeah?" Brushing her hair from her face, her eyes close and a small smile creeps onto her face. "I thought you had forgotten me…"

"Never." She whispers as my thumb runs across her cheek. "You, Arizona, are definitely unforgettable."

"I love you…" A genuine smile widening on my face, I desperately want to kiss her. I need to kiss her. "Eliza…"

"Mm…" She raises an eyebrow, her eyes opening slowly.

"C-Can I kiss you?"

"Yes…" She breathes out. "Please do." Leaning in a little closer, my lips graze her own and a tear slips down her face. Brushing it away, I take her bottom lip between my teeth and smile against her mouth.

"Don't you dare cry, Eliza Minnick." I breathe out as my fingers tangle in her hair. "No more crying…" Pressing my lips fully against her own, my entire being melts into her body. Everything I have belongs to her. Everything I am…she has seen. Kissing her will always be my favorite thing to do, and as of this moment, the crying and the guilt stops. We can't rebuild our lives if we live with the guilt and the blame of the past…it just won't work. Her arms wrapping around my waist, she pulls me on top of her and I settle between her legs. We need this moment. We need to just feel each other and give ourselves a couple of minutes to be as one. This bedroom will always be our sanctuary, and I never want that to change. I'll never have any other woman in this bed.

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Our morning together has been awesome, but now I want more. Now I never want Eliza to leave my place again. Not even for a change of clothes. I hate that she has her own place. I hate that she has her belongings separate from mine. It's not right. None of this should have ever happened, and the more I think about it, the more pathetic it seems. I mean, we love each other, and we want to make this work, so why wait around knowing that one day we will be living together again? Why wait around for the inevitable to happen? I want to bring it up with her, but I don't know how. I mean, sure…I could just ask her, but I think she wants to take this slower than me. I think she wants that space between us when she believes we may need it. As far as I'm concerned, she will never need space, but then again…I'm not the one who ever even wanted to end things. I'm the one who wanted her to stay by my side for the rest of her life.

This morning we got a little handsy, but I recognized that look in her eyes and I slowed things down. It wasn't my intention to have her in my bed all morning, it just felt right. It just felt how it's supposed to feel. I know that she wants to do this right, but I can't help the thought I have that maybe she is a little put off by me sleeping with Lucie. I'm sure I'm thinking way too much into it, but it has been on my mind since we began our day. My dream is also still playing on my mind.

 _Yeah…I'm one of those people._ Those people who take a dream to heart and allow it to eat away at them. When I was startled from my sleep this morning, I woke with the image of Eliza and Lucie in my office. It probably stems from the conversation we had last night about my secretary, but it still doesn't sit well with me. I mean, I'd love to let Lucie go from my company, but she's the best I've ever had and she works her ass off. I'm also not about to get myself into any lawsuits for wrongful dismissal. She hasn't done anything wrong and I can't fire her for sleeping with me. I also can't fire her because Eliza doesn't like her or because I no longer trust her. Life isn't that simple, unfortunately.

Grabbing my cell from the counter, I run my fingers through my hair and pull up my messages. Eliza left a little while ago to grab a change of clothes and a shower, but I'm not sure that is the whole truth for her leaving. I don't know if I scared her off a little with our time in bed this morning. The conversation. The desperate need to feel close to her.

 ** _Are we okay? A x_**

 ** _Of course. Why wouldn't we be? E x_**

 ** _I don't know. You ran out. A x_**

 ** _I didn't. I just needed to change. E x_**

 ** _Okay. A x_**

Deciding not to read much into it, I allow Eliza whatever time she needs to herself. I was hoping to spend the day with her, and maybe even tonight, but I don't want to push too much. I don't want her to think that she has to be here because I asked her to be. Honestly, I don't even know if we are together right now. I know she stayed the night and we kissed this morning, but I don't even know what we are right now.

I'd like to think that we are back together, but that's another thing I have to bring up with her at some point. I'm happy with whatever she wants to call us, but I need to know. I'll go crazy if I spend my time wondering. Like, we were engaged before she left. She had a ring and we had an amazing future to look forward to, but now I don't know if I can even call her my girlfriend. I feel lost. I really do.

 ** _Did you want to come over to my place? E x_**

Her place? God, I hate that she has her own place. I hate everything about it. I don't want to have to watch her come and go when she needs to go home. _This_ is her home. With me. Like it's been for a while. This is our space. It's where our love has always been. Even when she wasn't here, I could still feel that love that we had shared. I could still feel close to her here in some weird way.

 ** _Thanks, but I have work to do. A x_**

That's a lie, but I hate being there. I hated being there yesterday. Especially because I'd gone there to find her hurting and upset. I never want to see the inside of that place again if I can help it. She's shared evenings there with Antonia, and while I'm not mad at her for that, I don't need my mind to remind me of it whenever I step through the door. She's probably shared dinner with her there. Her bed. What happens if things go further at her place one day and we reconnect in the same bed that she shared with her ex. _Ugh, she had an ex._

Okay, I have to stop this. I have to stop torturing myself and I need to get all thoughts of every woman other than Eliza out of my head. It's not healthy, and it's certainly not helpful to this situation.

 ** _Maybe later then? E x_**

Why can't she just come back here? Why can't she just come here…where she belongs? Where she would always belong.

 ** _I'll just see you whenever you aren't busy. No big deal. A x_**

Setting my cell down on the kitchen counter, I miss her so much already. _She doesn't want neediness. She doesn't want that pathetic behavior._ I am worried that this feeling is only going to push her away, but I don't know how else to be. She was my fiancé for God sake. We can't just go back to the beginning. We can't just completely start again after all of the work and commitment we put into our relationship. Surely, she feels the same. Surely, she just wants to go back to how we were. My cell buzzing on the counter, her name flashes on the screen and I clear my voice of any emotion. "Hello?"

"Hey…" She doesn't sound like she doesn't want me around. She sounds quite perky, actually. "What's up?"

"Nothing, why?" I reply.

"You just seem a little off."

"Just missing you is all." Resting back on the counter, it's good just to hear her voice right now. Her voice was one of the things I missed most. "I'm trying not to be needy, though, so you just do your thing and I'll see you whenever. Maybe we could get dinner through the week if you aren't busy?"

"Through the week?" She asks. "That long?"

"I'm giving you space, Eliza."

"That's a lot of space, Arizona. Did you change your mind about us?" I can hear the worry in her voice, but it's really not like that. How could I ever change my mind when I've had her back in my life?

"What? No!" I state. "No way."

"Are you sure because if you have, you need to tell me. You need to tell me so I can leave."

"Leave where?" I ask. "New York?"

"No." She breathes out. "Your condo block."

"Y-You're here?" I furrow my brow and watch the security system as the elevator doors open on my landing. "You're here…" I smile. Hitting the button that will grant her access, the lock clicks and she pushes the door open. "Hey…" My smile grows and my dimples pop. Ending our call, she drops the phone from her ear and shoves it into her jacket pocket.

"And by the way, I need you to be needy…"

"You do?" My smile widens when I find her holding a large bag. One that I'm assuming is full of her clothing, at least. "You brought a bag…"

"I did." She nods. "Can I stay the night?"

"You can stay every night." Crossing the distance between us, her bag falls to the floor and she traps my body against the counter I'm leaning against.

"You thought I wasn't coming back, didn't you?"

"It had crossed my mind, yes," I answer honestly.

"You remember all those months ago…" She asks, my brow furrowed I give her a look of confusion. "In this exact spot…when you told me you had one problem." My mind taking me back, I remember it like it was yesterday and give her a small nod. "I have that same problem."

"Yeah?" I breathe out.

Her thumb running across my bottom lip, she replaces it with her lips before pulling back. "Seems I can't let go, either."

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 **Thanks for reading, guys. Your reviews have once again been awesome. Keep them coming. They're always appreciated.**


	67. Chapter 67

**Characters belong to Shonda. The rest is mine.**

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Chapter Sixty-Seven

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ELIZA'S POV

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I hate that Arizona thought I wouldn't be coming back here. I guess she is just as worried as I am right now, and that's understandable. I didn't want to leave this morning, but I don't have anything here. Sure, I'd happily spend the rest of my life in her clothes, but I kinda need my own stuff. I just grabbed whatever I could and left my place. I've never liked it there and honestly…I didn't even want to head back there this morning. It doesn't feel like home. It never has. All I see when I'm in that place is the reason I spent two months alone. The reason I walked away. The reason Arizona wasn't in my life. When I'm at my place…the guilt hits me full force, and yeah, I don't want to feel that way anymore. I don't want it to eat away at me.

We've been lay together for the past hour, and this feeling right now is euphoric. It's the only way I can describe it. I mean, a few days ago I was desperately wishing Arizona would call me. Get in touch with me somehow. I desperately craved her time. Her attention. Her touch. Even just to see her face from a distance would have stemmed my cravings. I never for one minute thought I would be at her condo and in her arms, though. I never thought we would ever get back together. She seemed so sure. She seemed so adamant that our futures weren't the same. How wrong we both turned out to be, huh? I mean, I wanted to move on. I wanted to try and rebuild my life, but I couldn't even bring myself to touch Antonia.

She knew. She knew that I missed Arizona. She knew that every thought in my head was about her. Don't get me wrong, spending time with Antonia was nice, but that's all it was. Nice. It was nice having dinner with her. It was nice making conversation with her. It was nice having a little attention on me. When the time came, though…I froze. I couldn't do it. I couldn't bring myself to take her to bed or touch her body. Once I did, any signs of Arizona on the skin of my hands would have been removed. Any sign of her scent or her breath, it all would have been gone the moment I lay my hands on Antonia. I thought about telling her that I hadn't slept with the woman I was dating, but I know it will only make her feel worse about the Lucie situation. I know she would hate herself.

Glancing over my shoulder, I smile when I find Arizona sleeping against me. Her face relaxed and no signs of her eyes flickering as she sleeps, I know she is totally at ease right now. I know she is happy and settled, and calm. It warms my heart watching her sleep against me, and it only makes me want to watch her forever. I just want her to know that I'm here to stay…if she will allow it. I'm pretty sure she will, but I need to say the words before I assume. I need to be sure that she will accept me back into her life fully before I get my hopes up. _Maybe actions would speak louder than words right now…_

Turning in her arms, I study her face and she shifts a little. When she is sleeping, her entire being just radiates. Everything that is true and honest about her hits me full force in the chest and I know that this is the perfect version of her. No front. No facade. Nothing but her genuine self. She is simply beautiful, and I'm the luckiest person alive right now having her in my arms. Running my thumb across her bottom lip, I furrow my brow and wonder how the hell we ever got here. How did she forgive me for my mistakes and just allow me to fall back into her arms? I know she is a forgiving and nonjudgemental person, but I hurt her. With my choices. My decisions. With my worries. My fears. She has just totally taken me back, and I'm not sure I deserve her. I'm not sure I'll ever deserve this woman.

Her features changing slightly as my fingers graze her jawline, her right eye twitches and I know she is waking up. I know this woman inside out…so I know exactly when she is waking and when she is sound asleep. I don't want to wake her, but yeah...I totally do. I want to see those blue eyes that I've dreamt about for two months. I want to erase that image of her beautiful yet sad face as I left her condo for what we both thought was the final time. I just need to see that smile. I need to see those dimples as she looks into my eyes and they tell me everything I need to know. "Arizona…" I whisper, my fingertips never leaving her skin. "Beautiful?" _Please don't push me away._

"Mm…" She snuggles into me and my heart melts.

"Can we go to bed?" I ask, my voice soft.

"You tired, baby?" _Oh, God._ That word. That word that only ever felt right falling from her lips. That term of endearment that was only ever meant for me. She said it. She said it and now I want to cry. Her eyes still not open, she wraps her arms around my waist and pulls me in closer. "Let's just sleep here."

"I don't want to go to bed to sleep," I reply, a little hesitant for her answer. "It's only 7 pm."

"Kay." She smiles as she yawns, those eyes still closed.

"Wake up, Arizona." My voice a little louder than before, she cracks one eye open and furrows her brow.

"Oh god." She shakes any sleep from her body. "I'm so sorry…"

"For what?" I laugh.

"I fell asleep. O-On you. Uh, I didn't mean to, I'm so sorry."

"Why are you sorry for sleeping?" I give her a sad smile. "We always fall asleep on each other."

"Yeah, but…you know?" She shrugs. "I don't want to be too like...in your face."

"Did you not just hear what I said?" I raise my eyebrow.

"Yeah…you wanted me to wake up." She smiles. "I just, you are so comfortable."

"No." I roll my eyes. "Before that?"

"Kinda, but no." She drops her gaze. "I was dead for a moment."

"I said…can we go to bed?"

"Sure." She nods as she glances at the clock. "But it's only 7 pm…"

"Exactly." Her eyes find mine and she studies my face. "Please?"

"Are you sure?" She asks, worry evident in her voice. "I mean, I don't want you to think that I wanted anything this morning. I was just happy to share our bed. Please don't think that I want to rush us." My fingers creeping up and under her tee, her eyes close and my heart pounds in my chest. "Eliza, I-I…" I can feel her own heartbeat against the palm of my hand.

"Arizona." I give her a knowing look and her lips press against mine. "I love you…"

"I love you, too." She smiles against my lips.

"And I want you…" I breathe against her mouth. "I need to feel something more with you…"

Pulling back, I fear I've said too much. "Y-You...you stopped us this morning."

"I know." I sigh. "Not because I didn't want you, though."

"Then why?" She asks, her face full of confusion.

"I don't know. I just wasn't sure it was what you wanted or even what we needed in that moment. We had just woken and I wanted us to both know that it was what we wanted." My thumb grazing her cheek, she doesn't even flinch. "Please don't think that I didn't want you, though. Please?"

"I thought you were hesitant because I slept with Lucie." Her honesty only makes me feel worse. She should know that I didn't sleep with Antonia, but what would that achieve? It may even set us back, and I really don't need that right now. My body is craving for her touch. Her skin. Her lips. Telling her wouldn't make anything any better. I know that much.

"No, beautiful." I smile. "I'll always want you…please believe that."

"Promise?" Her voice breaking, I lift her chin a little and her eyes find mine. My breath stolen at the sight of those amazing blue eyes, I give her a nod and she knows all she will ever need to know. Shifting a little, my body comes to rest above her own and I know that tonight is the night we take back our love. Our relationship. Everything we have ever said to one another. "God, I missed you…" She whimpers as her hands run beneath my shirt and up my naked back. "I missed you so much, Eliza."

My bra unclasped, my tee is lifted up and over my head and I know in this moment that Arizona is all in again. I know that she wants this. She wants me. She wants _us._ "Arizona, God," I whisper as her lips work my chest. "I-I need you…"

"N-Not here." She states. Forcing me off of her body, I pull her up to her feet and lift her own tee from her body. _Shit, that body. That body I've missed. That body that has been on my mind 24/7...I need to feel her against me._ "In our bed." She smiles as she runs her tongue up my neck. "Please, in _our_ bed."

Guiding me through her home… _our home,_ we bounce from wall to wall as we head off down the hallway that will lead to our bedroom. "I love you…" My words swirling around the air between us, she pulls back and gives me a dimpled smile.

"I love you, too." Forcing me back through the open door, her hands are all over my body like never before. Everything about this moment is right. I don't care if we have things to talk about or discuss…this what is happening right now is supposed to be happening. It's us. It's love. It's our world. "God, I need to feel you." She moans against my ear as she pops the button on my jeans. My knees connecting with the edge of the bed, she pushes me down and slips the denim from my body. Lay in nothing but my deep purple lace panties, her eyes ghost my entire body and I swear she has unshed tears in her eyes. "Eliza…" She breathes out. "You want this, right?" Resting between my legs, her knee rests against the mattress and she runs her fingertips up my thigh.

"More than anything." I smile. "Please, Arizona?"

Pushing me down onto the mattress, her body rests against my own and all breath leaves my body. Her skin. Her touch. Her lips. Everything about her is unique. Everything about her only makes me want her more than ever before. "Don't ever leave me again…" She whimpers as her lips trail up between my breasts. "Please, just don't."

"N-Never." I gasp as she takes a nipple between her teeth and sucks gently. "Oh God." My fingers working up the back of her neck, I fist my hand in her hair and she smiles against the hardened bud. "You feel amazing against me."

"God…" She breathes out as she releases it with a pop. "So beautiful." Those blue eyes burning into my soul, she curls her fingers beneath the waistband of my panties and sits up, slipping them over my thighs. "You have no idea how much I've needed you, Eliza."

"Show me…" I smile as I sit up and remove her own jeans and panties from her body. "I just need you to show me." Pulling her back down on top of me, our centers connect and she releases a guttural moan. That sound…god, I've missed it. I've missed it more than I realized. "Make me yours, Arizona." My lips working her neck, she slips her hand between our bodies and it is met with my arousal.

"Not what I imagined." She admits as she pulls back and finds my eyes. "I thought you wouldn't want me anymore." She gives me a sad smile and I cup her face. "I thought I'd messed everything up the other night."

"I'll always want you, Arizona." Pulling her into a kiss, her body relaxes again and her fingers slowly work through my folds. "When you touch me…" I breathe out, her hands working wonders. "...it feels like home."

"And when I touch you…" She whispers, her tongue running up the shell of my ear. "...My life feels complete." Connecting with my clit, her fingertips send my body wild like never before. It's been so long since I've been touch. So long since I've been touched by Arizona. She is the only one who can ever make me feel total pleasure. She is the only one who knows exactly how to work my body and my mind. With her words. Her touch. Her love. She is the only one who could ever truly make me feel. When I'm with her like this, the rest of the world disappears. She is the only thing on my mind.

Arching up into her touch, my body craves that feeling I've missed. My body craves that complete release of coming undone beneath her. "Make love to me…" Her lips curling into a smile as she crashes them into my own, and her fingers dip a little lower before she pushes two completely inside of me. "Oh god." My stomach instantly tightening when it recognizes this woman writhing above me, I close my eyes and my mouth hangs open. Her lips working the skin of my neck, she sucks on that sweet spot below my ear and thrusts a little harder.

"I'm never letting you walk out of my life again…" She moans as my own fingers trail down her stomach and meet her soaked sex. I'm not sure I've ever felt such wetness. Her knees resting either side of my hips, she strengthens her thrusts a little more and hits me exactly how she knows I want it. Exactly how she knows I like it. Slipping two fingers inside of my gorgeous blonde, her body jolts forward a little but her movements don't let up. "Shit…" She breathes out against my mouth. "Oh god." Her walls like absolute silk, I take her bottom lip between my teeth before slipping my tongue into her mouth.

My body desperate for release, her own body writhes above me and her walls squeeze my fingers tighter with every thrust. "A-Arizona…" I whimper. "C-Come with me…" Her thumb rolling over my clit, I mirror her movements and she drops her head on my shoulder. "Y-Yes." I pant as she works me good.

"I-I…" Her words cut off as knees almost buckle, she lifts her head a little and her eyes find mine. Forehead resting against forehead, she gives me the most adorable smile and my body takes over. Giving me a knowing look, we both let go and our bedroom is filled with nothing but moans and the sound of pure love. "Y-Yes, don't stop…" Her teeth tugging on her bottom lip, her eyes close and she rides out her orgasm. My own coursing through me, I'm barely breathing right now. Every emotion flowing through my entire body, shockwaves ripple through me and Arizona presses her lips against my own. It's gentle but its just what I need right now. "I love you…" Her voice breaks.

"I love you, too," I whisper as I pull her body down against me and wrap an arm around her, holding her securely in place. "Don't cry, beautiful." My fingers running through her hair, she buries her head in the crook of my neck and inhales deeply. "We are here together." I smile. "That's all that matters." Slowly slipping out of her, her body drops down against me completely and I feel like she has the weight of the world on her shoulders right now.

"Yeah." She breathes out as she gives me a slight nod. "I just…God, I missed you so much."

"No more missing each other, okay?"

"I never should have been missing you." She sighs. "You never should have been in another woman's bed. You should have always been here with me. Only my hands should ever be on you. Not someone else's."

"We didn't." _Fuck, I didn't mean to say that._ Too late to take it back now. My fingertips graze her scalp and she glances up at me. "We didn't…"

"You didn't what?" She furrows her brow.

"I didn't sleep with Antonia…" I admit. She may not want to hear it, but I couldn't keep it from her. She has been struggling with the knowledge that I ever moved on, so no…I cannot keep it from her. Not when nothing even happened. I kissed her twice, that was all.

"Oh god." Tears falling from her eyes, I give her a look of confusion and she buries her face in the pillow beside me. "Oh god." Repeating her words like a mantra, I give her a moment to settle. Shaking her head and mumbling to herself, I'd usually find it adorable but she looks like she is hurting right now. "Oh god."

"Arizona?"

"You didn't sleep with her…" She cries. "You didn't…"

"No, baby." Her eyes finally finding mine, she has a look of complete devastation on her face. "I thought that would be a good thing, no?"

"Y-Yes." She nods. "B-But I slept with Lucie."

"It's not a competition, Arizona." I give her a sad smile and she drops her gaze. "And it doesn't matter anymore."

"It matters to me…" She sits up and brings her knees to her chest. "I feel awful."

"Please don't," I beg. "It happened and it's in the past." I'm trying to reassure her but I'm not entirely sure it is working. She looks like I've just ended our relationship all over again and I don't like seeing her this way. I hate seeing her cry. I hate seeing her blaming herself for something that I totally created. "Arizona, I need you to not hate yourself…"

"That's a little hard to do right now." Pushing her down onto the bed, I straddle her legs and she covers her face with her hands. "I feel like the biggest bitch in the world."

"Look at me…" I demand, my voice soft. "Please?" Her eyes coming into view, it breaks my heart. Completely. "What happened is in the past. It happened, and now it's done. We move on from it. You didn't do it to hurt me, right?"

"No, I didn't." She shakes her head as I wipe away her tears. "I swear…I didn't."

"Then there is no more to be said about it." I smile. "I'm here with you, and I'm never leaving again, okay? I no longer care who you did or didn't sleep with. It's just one of those things. It's life. I don't hate you for it, and I don't believe you meant it…so please, don't beat yourself up about it."

"Promise me it won't come between us?" She asks. "I couldn't bear to lose you again. I wouldn't survive it, Eliza."

"I promise." Dipping my head a little, I capture her lips and fresh tears fall. "I promise that we are going to be okay. Maybe even better than ever. We have so much to look forward to…no matter how long it takes. I'll be here, and you will be here…and we will live our life just like we were before this mess was created. I love you, I trust you and ultimately, I'm going to spend the rest of my life with you."

 _I'm so going to grow old with this woman…_

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 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.**


	68. Chapter 68

**Characters belong to Shonda. The rest is mine.**

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Chapter Sixty-Eight

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ARIZONA'S POV

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Today is the first day back at the office in way too long. I know I could have came back here a while ago but I wasn't in the right frame of mind. I couldn't bear to think about work when I had Eliza on my mind. I couldn't even bear the thought of being in my office knowing that she should have been in here with me. I mean, I know that I shouldn't mix business with pleasure, but we met before I knew she was going to become my new assistant. I never could have cut ties from her. Honestly, I'd never want to, either. Last night was kinda beautiful and when I woke this morning, I couldn't quite believe that she was lay next to me. I thought I'd never have her back in our bed again. It hurt knowing that, but right now…I feel like that hurt has disappeared forever. I feel like my life has come full circle and everything is as it should be. I just have one problem…one issue. _Antonia._ Knowing that Eliza didn't sleep with her has left me feeling more guilty than I was before. I know I didn't sleep with Lucie to hurt her, but it doesn't make me feel any better about the situation. It doesn't stem that worry I have about being in the office knowing that Lucie is just outside. I messed up by allowing her into my condo, but its done. It happened. There is nothing I can do about it now. Given half the chance I would totally turn back time to before Eliza and I split, but I also cannot do that. Maybe that's why I feel so bad. Maybe knowing that this is all out of my control is why I feel like I've done something wrong even though in my heart I know that I haven't. I don't know, but I hope that Eliza and I can fix this. I say fix it, but there isn't really anything to fix right now. She is okay, and she spent the night again.

Having her beneath me and breathing against me left me feeling a little light-headed last night. Sure, she had stayed the night before, but last night was something else. Last night was all of our worries disappearing and hopefully…never to be seen again. I don't ever want to come to blows with her like that again. I'm generally not the kind of person who gets into fights during relationships, but our last one got way out of hand. Our last one almost ended me for good. I'd like to believe that I'd have managed without Eliza, but I don't think that I would have. I don't think I could have ever found someone to replace her in my life. She is perfect. She is everything I've ever wanted in a relationship. I didn't ask her to marry me for nothing. I didn't ask her to spend the rest of her life with me for the sake of it. I just knew. I knew the moment I met her that I was never going to be able to let her go…and I was right. Sometimes I wish I hadn't become so attached, but then the flip side is the amazing times we have spent together. The flip side is that I've felt more loved during this past year than I ever have in my entire life.

Clicking my way through my emails, I'm not entirely sure where to even start. I mean, I've been out of the game for the past two months, and even though the guys here have kept things running smoothly, I don't know which way is up right now. I asked Eliza to come back, but she didn't really have much to say about that offer. Like, she's working in insurance. Who even wants to do that? Paperwork after paperwork? She is so wasted in that job. Maybe one day she will come back to me, but until then…I'm on my own. Flying solo if you will. I want to ask her to come back again, but I may be pushing my luck. I'm also not sure she would last the day without throttling Lucie. Speaking of Lucie, I kinda need to speak to her, but I don't really want to ask her to come in here in case she thinks I'm being too friendly. At least, her version of friendly.

You know what? Screw that. I'm the boss. I call the shots. If I want my secretary in here to discuss work with her, then I will. She knows that there is nothing between us, and if she knows what is good for her…she will remember that. Hitting three, I hear the phone ring outside my office and she picks up. "Miss Robbins, is everything okay?"

"Sure. Can you come in here please?"

"Right away." The line going dead, I straighten myself out a little and fix up my posture in my seat. The door opening, she steps inside and gives me a smile. "What's up?"

"Is there anything I need updating on since I've been gone?" I ask. My eyes fixed firmly on the screen in front of me. "I seem to have a ton of emails from McManus."

"Oh, right." She closes the door and moves further into my office. "He wants to liaise with you on a new project. I explained that you were taking some time away but he said he was prepared to wait until you returned to the office."

"O…kay." I furrow my brow. "Is he on something?" I laugh.

"That's what I thought." She agrees. "He just said it was important to him and that he wanted you on board."

"Awesome." I shrug. "Could do with a new project to sink my teeth into."

"Well, you have been having a bad time of late." She gives me a sad smile as she moves towards the window. "You could probably use something to take your mind off of it all."

"I have nothing to take my mind off," I state as I click away on my keyboard. "Anything else before you return to your desk?" I ask.

"Did you want me to arrange a meeting with the assistant we took a look at?"

"No." I clear my throat. _Please don't even mention that night. I cannot bear to think about it._ "Hold off on it for now…"

"But you need someone to lighten this load." She states as she glances around my desk and finds stacks of paperwork and blueprints. "It's a lot Miss Robbins."

"Yeah, and for now…I'll manage." Giving her a knowing look, she drops her gaze and gives me a nod of acknowledgment. "If that is all?"

"Sure. Yeah." She heads for the door. "You should really think about getting someone to help you out for the time being."

"Lucie." I sigh.

"Sorry, just…I could do it." She suggests. "I can get someone to cover me and I can get this lot out of your way." _She is damn good at her job._ "I know which is a priority and which isn't."

"That's not a good idea…" I breathe out. "But thanks for putting yourself forward."

"Arizona, I know that what happened was a one-time thing. I just want to help you out with this workload is all."

"I know, but still." I give her a sad smile. "I'm not sure it's a good idea."

"Okay, just think about it. I'm only outside if you change your mind." Heading back out, my door closes and I sit back in my seat. _Well, that went better than I imagined._ Lucie is awesome at what she does, and I'd hate to ever lose her…but I don't know if I would be making the right decision. Eliza and I are only just barely getting back into things, and the last thing she needs is to know that Lucie is working alone with me in my office. I wouldn't want her to feel uncomfortable with that, but my secretary is right…I do need some help here. At least, I do if I want to get home before midnight tonight.

 ** _Hey, it could be a long night. I'm sorry. A x_**

 ** _Don't worry. I'll find something to do. E x_**

 ** _Just relax at home. Our home. A x_**

 ** _Maybe I will. E x_**

* * *

"Okay, so the blueprint for the hotel on 5th is looking as it should be."

"Great." I smile. "One less thing to worry about."

"Yeah." Lucie agrees. "I'm going to send someone out for more coffee. Usual for you?" She asks.

"Coffee would be great." Sitting back on my knees, I run my fingers through my hair and glance at the clock. It's almost 6 pm and I was hoping to be out of here by five. I should have known that it would never happen, but I do like to set myself unrealistic targets. Occasionally I can pull it off, but that was never happening today. I should have known. "Do um, do you think you could help out here until I figure out a new assistant?" I ask as she sends off a text message. "You don't have to, but I don't trust anyone else in this place to take care of this stuff."

"Sure I can." She shrugs. "I'll get the desk covered for the foreseeable and when you have found someone, I'll get out of your way."

"Thanks." I smile. "Just, nothing awkward, okay?"

"Agreed." She rolls her eyes. "I hope I didn't make things worse the other night."

"Don't worry about it." I wave off her comment as I take a fresh stack of paperwork and spread it out on my office floor. "We move on, right?"

"We do." Glancing over a particular piece of paper, she furrows her brow and switches her gaze to me. "This…isn't this the place you were working on out in Cuba?"

"I didn't have a project out in Cuba," I state. "That was Alexis' place."

"So, why have you received an offer to buy it?" She asks, her eyes narrowing as she takes in the words. "Shit…"

"What?" I ask.

"The bitch lost it." She laughs.

"She never…" My eyes widening, Lucie hands over the paperwork and I check it with my own eyes. "Well, shit. She did."

"Let me check this lot over and see if there is any more correspondence." Focusing solely on the task at hand, I can't help but feel a little better inside about that situation. I mean, she fucked me over good…and now she is losing ground. Quite literally. Come to think of it, I haven't seen her name on anything over the past few weeks. Maybe she's taken a step back, I don't know. I cant say I've really been paying any attention to what Alexis is up to, so I could have just missed any new ventures for her. "Yeah, looks like she decided against buying the place but the contractors are still tied into it. They haven't been paid."

"What a bitch." I laugh. "What do you think?" I raise my eyebrow.

"What do I think about what?" Lucie furrows her brow.

"Buying it," I state. "Do you think it's worth taking a look at? I mean, I've been there and seen it for myself, but what price are we looking at?"

"4.7…"

"That's a steal for that place." I smile. "Make the call."

"Seriously?" She asks, her smile growing wider. "Just make the call?"

"Yup." I nod. "Make the call." Watching as she takes her cell from the floor beside her, she kicks off her heels and rests back against the window. _God, that felt good. My first business in what feels like forever…and it feels good._ A light knocking on my office door pulling me away from my Cuban thoughts, I call for the unknown being to enter and my door opens. "Hey…" Eliza coming into full view, she switches her gaze between myself and Lucie and furrows her brow. "What are you doing here?"

"Could ask the same thing about her." She tilts her head and gives me a sarcastic smile. "Huh?"

"I have no assistant, Eliza." Getting to my feet, I straighten myself out a little and move closer to her. "Let's take this outside." Stepping out into the room full of empty desks, she leans back against one and crosses her arms over her chest. "Hey, I needed the help." I hold up my hands.

"But from her?" She asks, her eyebrow raised. "Is that really appropriate?"

"She's my employee, Eliza, and she knows what she's doing…"

"Mm, I bet she does." She scoffs.

"No." I sigh. "Please, don't do that. Don't even for one second think that anything else is going on here because it's totally not."

"Why does she have to be your assistant? I thought she had already found one with you the other night? Or was that a lie?" She asks.

"No, it wasn't a lie." I give her a knowing look and she drops her gaze. "You want to know why I'm using her for the time being? Why I didn't set up a meeting with the woman we had chosen the other night?"

"Why?"

"Because I want _you_ back." Stepping between her legs, I place my hands flat on the desk either side of her body. "Please come back to me?"

"I can't." She gives me a sad smile. "I'll kill her…"

"No, you won't." I roll my eyes. "Because you are better than that, and if you come back, she will have no reason to be in my office anymore."

"Can't you just find someone else?" She sighs.

"Nope. Don't wanna." I shrug as my lips inch closer to her own. "Just come back to me, Eliza and then we can carry on where we left things."

"And where exactly did we leave things?" She furrows her brow.

"Probably somewhere around you being sat on my desk with your legs open." Narrowing my eyes, I can see the slight blush that is creeping up her neck. "Or on your knees beneath my desk. Either way, it involves my desk." Pressing my body against her own, I take her bottom lip between my teeth and she smiles a little. "You know you want to."

"God, I do." She moans as my fingertips find her thigh. "So much."

"So, what are you waiting for?" I whisper against her mouth. "Do I have to drag you inside right now and show you just what you are missing?"

"Maybe." She shrugs.

"You know I will." I give her a look that tells her not to push me.

"Maybe you could just pack up here and come home with me instead?" She raises her eyebrow. "You know…show me how much you _really_ want me back."

"Consider it done." I don't even have to think about it. I'll always want to be at home with Eliza and that gorgeous body. "Let me get my crap and we are gone." Heading back into my office, Lucie ends her call and glances up to find Eliza standing behind me. "Done?" I ask.

"Y-Yeah." She stutters. "Paperwork will be sent over first thing tomorrow."

"Great." I smile. "You are free to leave now, Lucie. I'm headed home for the night."

"Right, yeah." She stands and slips her heels back on. "Good to see you, Eliza." She moves past us both and clears her throat.

"Good thing." My girlfriend responds. "You can expect to see me around here a lot more."

"Y-You're coming back?" Lucie swallows hard and it doesn't go unnoticed by either of us. "W-When?"

"As soon as I've figured things out with Arizona." She smiles. "Maybe as soon as the end of the week."

"Wow, okay." She nods. "I'll make sure everything you need is available to you."

"Oh, I have everything I need right here." Her arms wrapping around my waist from behind, she rests her chin on my shoulder and watches as Lucie simply walks away.

"That was cruel." I roll my eyes, playfully. "She's kept her distance, Eliza. You have nothing to worry about."

"I'll be the judge of that." Pulling me back a little and out of view of my open office door, her hand slips down the front of my pants and she smiles against my ear. "I guess all that talk of desks has gotten someone a little hot, huh?"

"Oh, no." I smile as a moan rumbles in my throat and her fingers work my clit. "That happened the second you walked through my door."

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.**


	69. Chapter 69

*****NOT SAFE FOR WORK*****

 **Characters belong to Shonda. The rest is mine.**

* * *

Chapter Sixty-Nine

* * *

ELIZA'S POV

* * *

It feels so good to be getting back into the office. I'm not sure I could bear that insurance job for much longer, and honestly, I knew the moment Arizona and I were going to be okay that I'd have to go back. I love working with her. It means we get to spend every hour of the day together. It means that even when we are in work mode, we can still be close to each other. Sure, that may not be ideal for some people but for us, it's perfect. It always has been and we work so well together. She gets me and I know exactly what she needs when she needs it. Jo is due here in the next few days, so for the time being, I get Arizona all to myself. No Interruptions because well, people know better than to interrupt us. _Lucie, especially._

I've thought about how awkward it's going to be around the office, but honestly…I don't care. Arizona is my girlfriend and Lucie means nothing to either of us. Sure, she was a friend once, but seeing her leaving our condo last week with that smug grin on her face made me realize that she is one to watch. I could see it in her eyes when she tried to explain herself. I could see that she knew exactly what she was doing. She can tell me all she wants that it wasn't supposed to happen, but I know when someone is feeding me bullshit, and that is exactly what Lucie was doing.

Stepping out of the car Arizona arranged for me, I give Rich a smile and hand over a tip. I know he is paid well, but he is there any hour of the day when my girlfriend needs him. A tip never did anyone any harm, right? My feet hitting the concrete, I glance up at the glass building in front of me and smile. _I'm so ready to get back to work. So ready._ My heels clicking against the sidewalk, I approach the main entrance and the huge glass sliding doors open granting me access. A few familiar faces milling about, I give out a couple of smiles and head for the elevator.

Stepping inside, the carriage is empty and I'm a little thankful. It gives me a moment to prepare myself for the day ahead. Arizona left home a little earlier than me this morning, but I managed to get here on time. I didn't expect to since the traffic seems to be pretty bad this morning, but that's the benefit of your boss being the love of your life. She doesn't generally make a comment about it. Finding myself on the correct floor a little sooner than I expected, I clear my throat and step out, making my way down the long corridor that will lead me to Arizona's office. Finding Lucie at her desk, she drops her gaze and tries to busy herself. "Morning." I smile as I approach her desk.

"Good morning, Eliza." She lifts her head a little and gives me an awkward smile. "Good to have you back."

"Yeah, pretty awesome, right?" I give her my best smile and she simply nods in agreement. "If you could just stay out of my way, though, that would be even more awesome." Stepping away from her desk, I glance back and find Lucie muttering something to herself. I'm not really interested in what she has to say, though, so I'm not going back over there. Pushing through my girlfriend's door, I step inside and find her sitting at her desk. "Morning." I smile.

Her head lifting, she gives me a dimpled smile before swallowing hard. "Holy shit, Eliza." She breathes out as she drops her glasses to her nose and her mouth hangs open. "W-What…I mean, phew." Her eyes closing, I approach my desk and drop my purse to the side of it.

"Are you okay?" I ask, my brow furrowed.

"N-No." She clears her throat. "I have some sort of palpitation thingy going on right now." Sitting back in her seat, she pushes away from her desk a little and her eyes trail the length of my body. "N-New heels?"

"Oh, yeah." I wave off her question as I approach her desk. "Nothing special." I shrug as I round her desk and rest my ass against the edge. "Cute, though."

"Yeah…freaking adorable." She groans as she shifts uncomfortably in her seat.

"So, plans for the day?" I raise an eyebrow.

"Oh, my plans shouldn't be spoken about so early in the morning." She laughs as she shakes her head. "I think I'll keep them to myself for the time being."

"Shame." I sigh. "I like to be on the same page as you at all times." Pushing off her desk, I lean in and place a soft kiss on her lips. "Should probably get to work, huh?" My hand coming to rest on her thigh, she gasps and I study her face, my eyes narrowing. "Control yourself, Arizona. We have a lot of work to do." Rounding her desk, I add a little sway to my hips and I know that neither of us is getting much work done today. Sure, I may have started this…but now I desperately want to finish it. Bide your time, Eliza. It will be so worth it.

* * *

I've been at the office for almost three hours now and Arizona has barely spoken two words to me. Every time I look her way, she drops her gaze so I know she is watching me. She is watching and that is exactly what I had anticipated. I know she wants to touch me right now, I can tell by her body language, but a little while longer won't do any harm. She has taken a few calls since our little encounter this morning but she wasn't once concentrating on them. In fact, I turned around at one point to find her biting down on her lip so hard that I'm sure she has drawn blood.

I love knowing that I have that effect on her. I love knowing that she never wants to keep her hands off of me. Something about it makes working together feel so much hotter than it should be. Something about it makes Arizona impossibly hotter. _I'm not sure how that is even possible._ "Eliza…" She clears her throat and I turn in my seat. "Could um, could you come here and check this out with me?"

"Sure." I shrug. "What's up?" Coming to stand beside my girlfriend, I lean over to the side of her and check out the screen in front of me. "Oh, I see the problem." I nod.

"Yeah?" She asks, her tone painfully low. I'm pretty sure she has decreased the size of the font on her screen but if she hasn't, I really need glasses. Leaning in a little closer, I bend at the hip a little more and Arizona sits back in her seat. "Sorry, I'm in your way." A slight reflection on her screen, I can see her checking my ass out so I stay in my spot. _So desperate._ Smirking to myself, my eyes close and a flood of arousal pools between my legs when her fingertips trail up the back of my right thigh and her hand disappears beneath my skirt. "Wow." She breathes out. "Incredible."

"A-Arizona…" I breathe out when her hand moves further up towards my center. "Fuck!" My knees almost buckling, she slips my panties over my thighs and they drop to the floor.

"Step out of them." She demands. "And get that door locked NOW!" Glancing over my shoulder, I give her a raised eyebrow and she simply stares. "I said now, Eliza!"

"Someone is a little moody this morning," I smirk as I stand and round her desk. Crossing the short distance, I lock the door and her eyes are darkening with every second that passes. "Did you need something?" I ask as I make my way back over to her.

"You, and I need you right now." Motioning for me to come a little closer, I step back up behind her desk and she turns her seat a little. "You've been teasing me all morning, huh?"

"No." I scoff as I come to stand between her legs. "Why would you think that?"

"Because you are fucking soaked." She smiles. "Now, unless you are thinking about someone else fucking you, I suggest you turn around and bend over."

"Bend over?" I furrow my brow. "Why?"

Standing, she curls her fingers beneath my chin and her lips connect with my own. Her teeth tugging at my bottom lip, she smirks against my mouth and bites down a little harder. "Because it's time for me to take you back once and for all." Her lips trailing my neck, they reach my ear and she releases a low moan. "I've missed fucking you in here."

"Y-Yeah?" I whimper. My eyes closing as she runs her tongue up the shell of my ear.

"Mm…" She moans. "I promised you my desk last week, and that is exactly what you are going to get."

"Shit." My chest heaving, she turns me around in her arms and forces my body down against her desk, not even bothering to remove any of the stuff from it. My face connecting with the cool wood beneath my body, I feel my tight skirt being lifted and gathering around my waist. "Oh god…" I breathe out when I feel soft fingertips graze my inner thigh. "I've missed this."

"Mm, and I'll make sure it's what you always want." She states. "I'll make sure _I'm_ all you'll ever want."

"And how exactly do you plan on doing that?" I tease.

Her breath washing over the side of my face, she leans her body into mine and lowers her tone to barely above a whisper. "By fucking you better than anyone else ever could, Eliza."

"Yeah?" I smirk. "You are really _that_ confident, huh?" She knows I'm only playing with her right now. She knows that I'll never want or need anyone but her.

"Confident?" She scoffs. "You couldn't survive without my touch, beautiful." Her fingers toying with my entrance, I close my eyes and smile to myself. _She's right. I could never survive without this from her. Never._ "Now, are you going to shut your mouth while I fuck you on my desk or do we have to play games all day?"

"Maybe." I shrug. Two fingers unsuspectingly pushing deep inside of me, my body jolts forward against her desk and all breath leaves my body. Her left hand placed in the middle of my back, she keeps me in place and almost slips out before slamming into me once again. "Oh god." I moan.

"Mm, figured this was exactly what you wanted." She states, a little cocky. "God, you are so wet for me, Eliza."

"I-I…" My one words unable to form, I close my eyes and enjoy the sensation she is creating.

"You what?" She slows her movements.

"I've been thinking about this day since I left," I admit. "You…fucking me like this. God, it's all I thought about."

"I know." She pushes my body down against the desk a little harder and sinks her fingers deeper than before. "I can feel how much you want me." My walls squeezing her fingers, she slips out only to enter me with a third. "How much did you crave this?" She asks as she wiggles her fingers inside of me. "How much did you crave _me?_ "

"Fuck…so much." I slam back against her hand. "It's all I thought about."

"Yeah?" Picking up her pace, she removes her hand from my back and lifts my left leg up onto her desk. "Perfect." She moans as she runs her hand up my spine and tangles her fingers in my hair. "You really want to feel this, huh?"

"Y-Yes." I pant as she tugs my head up from her desk. "I'm yours, Arizona."

"Oh, I know." She agrees.

"Take me." I whimper as her fingers slip around the side of my neck and trail to the front. Gripping my neck in a choke position, she caresses my skin and my eyes close. _This is so fucking unbelievably hot._ "Take me, Arizona." Her grip tightening around my neck a little, a fresh flood of arousal gathers between my legs and the sound of sex fills the air as she pushes in and out of me.

"You like that?" She asks as her grip holds steady and her thrusts strengthen. "You like being fucked like this?"

"Fuck, yes." My body responding to her every touch, her every word, I feel my orgasm beginning to build deep in my stomach and my legs begin to shake. "That is so fucking hot." I pant as she slams into me repeatedly. "Y-You…choking me, shit." My own words causing my body to stumble towards the edge, she leans down and places a kiss on my lower back. "Oh God…" My stomach tightening, she struggles to move inside of me but she doesn't let up. She doesn't once falter. "Don't stop. Shit, don't stop."

"Come for me, Eliza." She whispers. "Come hard for me." Her words pushing me over the edge, she curls her fingers inside of me and my mouth falls open. I have no sound. I have no breath. My body shuddering against the hardwood it's been resting against, she pushes deeper and every movement causes my breath to catch in my throat. "That's it." She groans. "Take it."

"Oh, fuckkkk." Releasing my neck from her grip, my body falls completely flat on her desk and my chest heaves. _Jesus Christ that was something else._ "Baby." My hand gripping her wrist, I still her movements before pain turns into pleasure and she doesn't move an inch. "God, that was something to remember." I moan as she slowly slips out of me. "Wow." Catching my breath, I push off of her desk and fix my skirt around my thighs. Turning to face her, she gives me the dirtiest smile I've ever witnessed and pulls me into a kiss. Taking her bottom lip between my teeth, she moans into my mouth before I pull back. "That was so fucking hot, Arizona."

"I know, right?" Her arms draped over my shoulders, she places another kiss on my lips. "You know, you should probably wear those heels more often."

"Yeah?" I raise an eyebrow. "They clearly do something for you."

"Oh, they do _everything_ for me…" She closes her eyes and breathes through whatever thoughts she has running through her mind right now. "Everything."

"It's so good to be here." I smile as she pushes me back and I rest on the edge of her desk. "So good."

Taking my hand in her own, she slips a familiar piece of jewelry on my finger. "You should have this back." Placing a kiss on my engagement ring, her gorgeous blue eyes find mine and she gives me an adorable smile. "Welcome back, Miss. Minnick."

 _And what a welcome it was…_

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always. Cool down first, though, yeah? ;D**


	70. Chapter 70

**Characters belong to Shonda. The rest is mine.**

* * *

Chapter Seventy

* * *

ARIZONA'S POV

* * *

It's amazing having Eliza back at the office. Everything feels like it's just fallen back into place and nothing else matters. I know sometimes it isn't as simple as just forgetting about the past few weeks, but neither of us has had anything to say about it since we got back together. Neither of us cares any longer. Sometimes, as humans, we spend too much time dwelling on what's happened when we should be focusing on the present. The here and now. What we can do today to make out futures exactly what we want. I think it's a flaw in everybody if I'm being totally honest, and I've decided to no longer allow it into my headspace. I'm no longer allowing my fears for the future to get the better of me. It doesn't end well and it doesn't solve anything. I mean, how can you be scared of something that hasn't even happened yet? How can you possibly sit and worry when it could be two, three or four years off? It's not healthy to worry. It's not healthy to wonder if your life will ever plan out how you imagined.

Honestly, I'm already doing better than I ever thought I would. Not in terms of my career, because I always knew I'd succeed. I'm driven like that. But in terms of my personal life. I never in a million years imagined I'd be where I am right now. Happy. In love. The most amazing woman by my side. I never imagined that would happen, but it has and wow…it's something amazing. Beautiful, even. Stepping out of our bedroom, I fix my skirt a little better on my hips and my heels click against the hardwood flooring. Finding Eliza standing in the kitchen, she glances my way, coffee in hand, and gives me one of her gorgeous smiles. "Hey…" Closing the distance between us, I place a kiss below her ear. "Good morning."

"Mm, it is." She smirks. "It will _always_ be a good morning when you are gracing my eyes with those amazing legs."

"Well, behave yourself…and they will be wrapped around your head tonight." Throwing her a wink, her mouth drops open as she attempts to speak. "What?" I raise an eyebrow.

"N-Nothing." She shakes her head and drops her gaze.

"Oh, come on." I laugh. "You're not blushing, are you?" Curling my fingers under her chin, I trap her body against the kitchen counter and give her a smile. "You are…"

"Uh, I'm not." She scoffs.

"Okay, but you do realize that just last week…I took you on my desk, right?" Watching as she swallows hard, I love having this effect on her. "And last night in my car? Then against the window?"

"Arizona…" She groans as she squeezes her thighs together. "God."

"You know I'm only teasing you." My lips connecting with her own, she smiles against my mouth before pulling back.

"But it is far too early for teasing…"

"Oh, Eliza." I give her a sad smile. "It's _never_ too early for teasing you…"

"Ugh." Rolling her head back on her shoulders, I take my coffee from the counter and a slight laugh escapes my mouth. "You just can't help yourself, can you?"

"Where you are concerned?" I raise an eyebrow. "Nope." Stepping away from my frustrated fiancé, my eyes land on the beautiful breakfast she has made. "You did all of this?"

"I did." She smiles. "You have a super busy day ahead and I wanted you to eat properly before you left."

"Yes, mother." Giving her a serious nod, I pull myself up onto a kitchen stool and grab a bagel. "Thank you."

"Don't be a smart ass…" She rolls her eyes. "There is nothing wrong with me wanting you to eat right."

"I know." She takes a seat beside me. "I'm just playing with you." Falling into a comfortable silence, it makes me think about what we have to come. Things are picking back up at my company, and our lives are running smoothly again. I want to discuss the wedding with Eliza but I'm not sure how to approach it. I mean, are we there yet? After everything that's happened lately, are we truly there yet? I believe we are, I think, but I don't want to mess any of this up. I don't want to push too much and it all becomes a little to much to figure out. "So, what time are you due back at the office today?" She asks as she spoons in a mouthful of granola.

"Honestly, I don't know." I sigh. "Maybe just before we head home…or I can meet you back here."

"Well, if you want to head straight home, that would totally work for me. You'll be fried. I know that."

"Yeah, but we usually head home together," I whine.

"I know we do, but I'll be home not long after you." She tries to reassure me. "Maybe even before you if I get everything done with no distractions."

"No distractions?" I ask.

"Yeah…you won't be there to distract me." She laughs. "Maybe I'll even be finished by midday."

"Are you accusing me of not allowing you to do your job?" I raise an eyebrow and give her a knowing look. "Because I can totally back off…"

"No," Eliza smirks. "Don't ever back off. My work gets done, regardless…so no, don't ever back off."

"Well okay then." I throw her a wink. "I should leave." I sigh as I climb down from my seat. "I have to be downtown in thirty minutes."

"You taking the car?" She asks as she follows behind me and I grab what I need for the day ahead.

"No, you take it." She smiles. "I'll walk."

"You never walk." She furrows her brow. "Why now?"

"Why not?" I counter. "Could use a little fresh air."

"Okay." She shrugs as I step a little closer to her.

"Right, give me a kiss…" I pull her body into my own and she moans against my lips. "I'm going to miss you so much today."

"I know, but we will snuggle tonight, okay?" Giving me a final kiss, I reluctantly release her from my grip and grab my cell and keys. "I love you…" Running her thumb across my cheek, I lean into her touch and my eyes close.

"I love you, too."

* * *

Taking the elevator up to our condo, I cannot wait to get inside and get these freaking heels off. Today I remembered the reason I don't walk New York during the day. Today I remembered why Rich has always been a godsend to me. I'm generally quite happy to walk around in heels, but when you are headed to a construction site for half of the day, it will always be a bad decision. It will always end in tears…and right now, I'm close to tears. The doors opening on my private landing, I kick them off before I even think about opening my door. The relief enough to make me moan in pleasure, I slide my key down the lock and my door opens. _Oh, thank god._

Heading inside, the most amazing aroma hits me square in the face and my fiancé turns to face me. "Hey…" She smiles. "Dinner is almost ready."

"You. Are. Amazing." Dropping my heels to the floor, my purse quickly following, I cross the room and come to stand in front of her. "Actually amazing."

"It's just dinner." She furrows her brow.

"Made by _you_. My gorgeous fiancé." My lips connecting with her own, I give her everything I've got. She just…she makes my heart beat out of my chest at the best of times, but right now I feel like I should appreciate her more. She knows I'm thankful for everything that she does, but I want her to know it more often. "Do you have any idea how you make me feel?"

"I think so." She smiles.

"Thinking so isn't good enough for me." Wrapping my hands around her thighs, I lift her up onto the counter and rest between her legs. "Incredible is what you are."

"Arizona…" She gives me a sad smile.

"No." I cut her off. "I need you to know just how much I love you. Just how much I couldn't ever live without you. I mean, you have just worked your ass off at the office, but I come home to this? To dinner made by you. I love you, and I need you to know that."

"I love you, too." She smiles as she runs her fingers through my hair.

"No, I mean like a crazy kind of love. A love I didn't even know what possible. A love I didn't know existed. I don't care where our future is headed. I don't care how or what we have to do to be happy…it will happen. Everything about you makes me want to just scream. Like, I have so many emotions inside but I don't know how to show them. I don't know how to explain them. I feel like I'm constantly repeating myself but I can't help it. I can't help it because every single day, you do something just as amazing as the day before and then it happens all over again. I fall in love with you all over again. I love you so much that it hurts…but it is a good hurt."

"You're adorable, you know that, right?"

"No, I just love you an unbelievable amount and given half the chance, I would marry you right this minute."

"Yeah?" Her eyes brightening, she leans down and places a kiss on my lips. "I didn't know if that was still a plan or not…"

"I will always want you to be my wife, Eliza. _Always._ "

"Thank God." She breathes out. "I figured the ring was just to show that we were okay. You know?"

"No." I shake my head. "That ring will always belong on your finger and one day, a gorgeous wedding band will sit perfectly above it."

"You've no idea how happy I am to hear you say that." Her eyes closing as my hands rest on her thighs, she wraps her legs around my body and cups my face with her hands. "You are so freaking perfect, Arizona Robbins."

"Kinda perfect together." I shrug. "You make me who I am, Eliza. This is all on you."

"Oh, I don't know." She blushes as I slip her blazer from her shoulders. "You were pretty perfect when I met you."

"Mm, just take the praise will you…"

* * *

"Dinner was amazing…" I breathe out as I drop down on the mattress. "Thank you."

"Mm, so was the fun we had before it." Eliza's arm resting over my midsection, she places a kiss below my ear and nuzzles into the crook of my neck. "You wore me out."

"Mmhmm...that was the plan." I smile. My fingers running through her hair. Sighing, my eyes find the ceiling above us and I think over our future plans. "How do you want to do this?"

"Do what?" She lifts her head a little and furrows her brow.

"Our wedding. The arrangements." I reply. "I mean, do you want a big wedding? One on a beach? Lots of guests…"

"Honestly, I haven't thought about it." She admits. "I was just happy to know that it would happen at some point. What do you want?" She asks.

"Oh, no…" I shake my head. "This is _your_ day. I want you to decide how you want it to go."

"You mean, this is all on me?" She gives me a look of worry and I turn to face her.

"No, that's not what I'm saying." I try to reassure her. "But I don't know how you feel about a big wedding. I mean, the media will show up. The magazines will want a piece. I just want to know how you feel about all of that so I can plan around it if we need to. I don't want you to feel like you are on show for the world if it's not what you want, Eliza. I just want you to have an amazing day and one that ends in my arms."

"I-I don't know…" She breathes out. "I'm not sure I would want my face all over the Internet. I know it's how you are used to living your life, but I've been pretty lucky in that they've left me alone so far. I know it won't always be that way, but I'd like to think that I wouldn't be terrified on the day of our wedding. The media being there would only make things worse for me. It's just not what I'm used to, is all."

"And that is all I needed to know." I smile. "I want you to be comfortable. Honestly, I'm done with the media being involved in every aspect of my life. We will do it privately. No cameras. No journalists. If they ain't family or friends, they won't be given access."

"You'd do that for me?" She asks, a little shocked.

"I'd do anything for you, Eliza. Absolutely anything."

"Wow, okay." She nods. "So, this is happening?"

"Why wait?" I ask. "Unless you wanted to wait a little while."

"Well, I don't want to wait forever." She laughs as she forces me down onto my back. "But maybe like…six months?"

"Sounds good to me." I nod. "Did, um…did you want to try again with your mom?"

"I'd like to say yes, but I don't know what good it would do." I hate the thought of her mom not being there. I hate the thought of her having no one on the day. It breaks my heart. "I mean, she is never going to accept me for who I am, so why bother?"

"Just…maybe it could be worth it?" I raise an eyebrow. "Sure, it may work out how you expect, but what if she's changed her mind and is too embarrassed to come by?"

"My mom doesn't get embarrassed. If she has something to say, she would come right out and say it."

"What about your dad?" I chance.

"What about him?" She gives me a look of confusion.

"Have you not ever tried to contact him? Get to know him?"

"No." She sighs. "Mom never allowed it."

"But, did you ever _want_ to?" I want my fiancé to be happy. I always want her to be happy. If that means we have to search the world for her father, that is what we will do. If that is what she wants…she just has to say the word and I will make it happen.

"At one point I did, yeah." Clearing her throat, she drops her gaze. "Figured he'd have the same opinion as my mother, though."

"You should try." I smile. "If you wanted to, I could totally help you find him."

"I don't know." She shakes her head. "I wouldn't even know where to look."

"Just think about it, okay?" Pulling her body against my own, I place a kiss on her forehead and she gives me a slight nod. I'm not entirely sure she wants to, but if she is two minds as to whether he would accept her, she should totally try and find him. I know I'd want to if it was me in that position, but we don't all think the same way. We don't all want or need the rejection in our lives. Eliza's father may want to know her, though. He may have missed his daughter throughout all of the years that have passed between them. "Please think about it?"

"Okay." Resting her head against my chest, she sighs against my skin and her fingertips ghost across my stomach beneath the sheets.

"Whatever happens, though…I love you and you will _always_ have me." Pulling her up my body a little, her eyes find mine and I find unshed tears. "You are all that will ever matter to me, okay?"

"I love you so much, Arizona." Her voice breaking, my lips brush against her own and a small smile creeps onto my face.

"I love you, too." I breathe out. "Don't ever forget that."

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.**


	71. Chapter 71

**Characters belong to Shonda. The rest is mine.**

* * *

Chapter Seventy-One

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ELIZA'S POV

* * *

Today is the day that my best friend arrives in New York. I know she is here to work more than anything, but it will be good to know that she is close by. It will be good to know that she is finally doing the thing that she's always loved and I'll be forever grateful to Arizona for giving Jo this chance. It means the world to her and I'm not sure Arizona realizes what a difference she has made to my best friends life by offering this to her. I'm really not. I mean, she says that she's done it because she could see the potential, and I fully understand that, but this isn't just a job to Jo. This is a lifelong ambition and now that she is able to fully embrace her potential, I know she is going to thrive here. I know that she is going to put her all into it, and Arizona will not be disappointed. I know Jo better than anyone else, and I know that she is all in where this career is concerned. It may be a long road, and at times she may struggle, but ultimately she will come out of it exactly how I know she will. On top. Giving her very best. Successful.

Arizona is working away at the dining table right now, and I'm lost in a daydream just watching her. I'll never tire of watching her work. It's what she loves. It's what she does best. I know that this is her talent and it's what she's worked her ass off for, but I'm proud of her. I'm proud of everything she has achieved in the past few months since Alexis tried to ruin everything she had built. I'm proud of her for not giving up. Not giving in. Anyone else would have rolled over and called it a day, but not Arizona. Not my fiancé. She knows what she wants and she knows exactly how to get it. "Eliza?" Breaking me from my thoughts, she glances my way and gives me a smile. "Can you check this out for me?"

"Sure." I nod as I close the distance between us. "What's up?"

"The main suite." She sits back in her seat and allows me a little more room to view the plans on her screen. "Open plan or no?"

"Do you have a design of both options?" Pulling up another set of plans, I take a seat in her lap and focus my eyes on the screen in front of me. "Open plan," I state. "For sure."

"That's what I thought." She agrees. "I just think it gives the suite that little bit more."

"Yeah, what you have designed looks incredible." I lean back into her arms and she rests her chin on my shoulder. "This place is going to be way nicer than where we stayed when we visited Cuba."

"I know." She perks up. "But would you expect anything less from me?" Her hands resting beneath my tee, she grazes her fingertips against my skin and it makes me shudder. "You know, um…I was thinking of getting this place up and running before we get married."

"Yeah?" I ask. "I guess it would give you a little time to yourself after the wedding to take a little break…"

"Or, we could just get married there." She shrugs. "On the beach…"

"No way." I gasp. "Y-You're serious?"

"I am." She smiles. "We don't have to, and it's simply a suggestion…but it would be kinda beautiful."

"It would." I breathe out. "It would be amazing."

"Sooo, it's one to think about then?" I stand and turn, straddling her legs.

"Oh yeah." I smile as I cup her face in my hands. "It's perfect."Placing a soft kiss on her lips, she smiles against my mouth and slips her hands beneath my tee, her fingers working the skin of my back. " _You_ are perfect."

"I'm happy that you approve." She closes her eyes as my thumb runs across her bottom lip. "I just want you to be okay with all of this, okay? Anything you want…you will get."

"I just want you, Arizona," I admit. "I'd happily head off to city hall and do this right now."

"I know you would." She appreciates my honesty. "But you deserve more than that. We may be doing this privately and we may be doing this without the press and everything else that often comes with a relationship with me, but I cannot think of anything better than ending our wedding day with you in my arms and watching the gorgeous sunset Cuba often provides."

"Let's do it." I smile as I rest my forehead on her own. "Let's do Cuba."

"Yeah?" Her eyes brightening, I can see the excitement settling on her face. "You want Cuba?"

"I want you…but Cuba would be amazing."

"God, I love you so much, Eliza." Her voice breaking a little, she pulls me against her body and wraps her arms around my waist. "I don't think you could ever possibly know just how much."

"I think I have a pretty good idea." Nuzzling into the crook of her neck, I take in my fiancés scent and it makes me smile. "You smell gorgeous."

"Mmhmm…" She agrees. "Have to give you something to convince you to hang around."

"Oh, there's no worry of me not hanging around. I can assure you of that." Placing a kiss below her ear, I climb off of her and she furrows her brow. "But I have to head to the airport to pick up Jo."

"Oh, right." She smiles. "Do you drive?" She asks, her brow furrowed.

"I do," I reply as I shrug my jacket over my shoulders and pull on my shoes. "Why?"

"The car is out front waiting for you." Her attention turning back to the screen in front of her, I give her a look of confusion.

"What car?"

"My car." She responds. "Rich has left my keys with John. He's expecting you."

"You have more than one car, right?"

"I do, but only one here in New York." She states. "One is plenty in this crazy city."

"Wait…" I hold up my hands. "You want me to take the Ferrari?"

"Uh…yeah." She deadpans. "Come on, baby…keep up." Shaking her head, a slight laugh falling from her lips, and my mouth falls open.

"I-I, uh…"

Turning her attention back to me, she furrows her brow and sits back in her seat. Her arms folded across her chest. "What's wrong?" She asks.

"I can't take the Ferrari." I shake my head. "I just…no."

"Why?" She questions. "It's what it's there for."

"But it's a Ferrari."

"Oh, I know what it is." She laughs. "And I want you to take it. Collect Jo. Bring her back here. I have some stuff I want to go through with her."

"What if I scratch it?" My heart dropping into my stomach at that thought, a world of anxiety suddenly hits me. "What if someone gets too close?"

"Rev the engine." She shrugs. "They'll soon back off. It's what usually works for me."

"Arizona…" I give her a knowing look. "Why are you trusting me to take the car?"

"Why wouldn't I trust you?" She stands and approaches me.

"Because it's an expensive car." I scoff. "One that I know I'm going to ruin. I don't even have to sit in the driver's seat to know that."

"You won't ruin it." She rolls her eyes. "And if you feel like it's a good drive, we will get you one." Placing a kiss on my lips, she waves me away and gives me a smile. "Go and collect your friend, Eliza. She will be waiting for you."

* * *

Oh god. My heart is in my mouth right now and I'm not entirely sure how I've even made it to the airport. I mean, I could have died. I thought I would die. Not because of the car, but because of my nerves. Who just hands over the keys to their Ferrari? Who just shrugs and does that? Jesus…my heart rate isn't normal right now. Nothing in my life is normal right now. Like, a year ago I was poor and living at home with my bitch of a mother in Detroit, and now? Now I'm driving my fiancés Ferrari through the streets of New York. _Yeah, none of this is normal._ It feels it, though. It feels normal. It feels like I'm supposed to be here and doing what I'm doing.

Pulling up outside the airport, I find Jo waiting for me with her luggage. Her own mouth hanging open when I climb from the metallic black vehicle, I give her a smile and she doesn't even move. "Yo!" Waving my hand in front of her face, she shakes herself from her shock and glances up at me. "Shall we go?" I ask.

"Y-Yeah." She nods slowly. "But, uh…you _didn't_ just get out of that car, right?"

"I did." My smile widening, her mouth hangs open again and I shake my head, my eyes rolling. "Move your ass, Jo. Arizona wants to see you before you head to your new place and get settled."

"She's changed her mind, hasn't she?"

"What? No!" I scoff. "She just wants to run some stuff by you. She's working from home today."

"Are you sure?" She gives me a sad smile. "I mean, it's okay if she's unsure about this."

"Jo, I need you to pull yourself together." I smile. "I cannot drive that car while you are worrying. I'll feel it. Then I'll worry. Then we will die."

"D-Die?" She asks, a look of horror on her face. "Why will we die?"

"Because I'm a freaking nervous wreck and I cannot concentrate on you and your unnecessary worries."

"Just…" Gripping my wrist, she stops me from turning and heading back to the car. "Arizona is making the right decision, right?"

"She is." I pull my best friend into a hug. "She can't wait to get started with you. It's going to be awesome having you around the office. Now, let's go?"

"Okay." She breathes out. "Let's do this, Lize." Giving her a knowing smile, I grab her bags and head for the trunk of Arizona's car. It's not big, but Jo doesn't have much with her. We are the same people in that way. I didn't bring my entire life to New York with me, and she hasn't either. This is a fresh start. Sometimes, some things are best left behind. Sometimes...it's the right thing to do.

Settled behind the wheel, Jo slips into the passenger seat and releases a deep breath. She's having the exact same reaction as I did when Arizona first introduced me to this awesome vehicle. Sure, the end result was totally different, and hot, but yeah…Jo is just as shocked and surprised as I was. "You good?" I raise an eyebrow. "Ready for a new start?"

"Yeah." She smiles. "So ready." Firing up the engine, Jo is a little startled but she will soon get used to it. The salary she will soon be earning is going to be a shock to the system, but she's got this. She has the potential. I know she does. "Anything new happening with you?" She asks as we pull away from the airport and head to the condo.

"Cuba," I state. "The wedding is back on, and it's happening in Cuba."

"Wow." My best friend breathes out. "That will be kind of amazing, huh?"

"Yeah." I give her a nod in agreement. "So amazing."

"Have you set a date yet?" Jo asks.

"No, but we are looking at around six months." I shrug. "Quiet. Private. You know, none of the craziness that is usually in Arizona's life."

"Sounds perfect, Lize." She fixes her eyes on the road ahead of us. "I think you guys have had enough craziness for one year, huh?"

"For sure, Jo." Glancing her way, we both laugh and fall into a comfortable silence. It's awesome having her here…it really is. At least now I have someone I can panic with over wedding plans. At least now I have the only friend who would ever give it to me totally straight if she didn't agree with something. I've always needed Jo in my life, but for the next few months…I'm going to need her more than ever. I truly am.

* * *

"So you ready to start Monday?" Arizona sets her fork down on the plate in front of her and sits back in her seat. Her eyes fixed firmly on my best friend, Jo gives her a nod in agreement. "Great. You know, if you need anything at all, Jo, just call me, okay?"

"I'm sure I'll be fine." She replies. "But thanks."

"You're away from home." Arizona smiles. "All of this is totally new to you, and I know you will feel like it isn't working out. Just remember that you have the both of us here for you."

"She's right." I shrug. "I felt the same when I got here."

"I know but I'm ready for this." Jo smiles. "I'm ready to get started and change my life. It's just weird being here with you guys."

"Why?" I ask.

"Oh, Come on, Lize." She rolls her eyes. "This isn't us. It has never been. Don't you pinch yourself sometimes when you wake up each morning?"

"Yep." I shrug. "But then I remember that I worked hard and that I deserve to be here."

"I guess you're right."

"You know I'm right. I'm not your best friend for nothing." Nudging her shoulder, she gives me a genuine smile. I know she will find it a little strange for a while, but she's going to be awesome. I know she is. "You hanging with us for a little while, or?"

"No." She breathes out. "I think I'll head back over to my place. Unpack and take an early night."

"You sure?" I raise an eyebrow.

"Yeah." She nods. "It's Friday night. You guys should spend it together."

"You're welcome to stay, Jo." Arizona stands and begins clearing up dinner. "I have some work to finish up anyway so if you guys want to hang out, I can get out of the way."

"No, I should really get going." My best friend stands and fixes herself up a little. "Thanks for dinner, though. Once my place is up and running, you guys should come over and I'll do dinner."

"Sounds perfect." Arizona smiles. "We could walk you back if you wanted us to?"

"I'm fine, really." I know Arizona is just trying to be helpful, but Jo doesn't like fuss. She doesn't like to be the center of attention. "I'll see you guys, Monday?"

"You will." I pull her into a hug. "Call me if you want to hang out before then, yeah?"

"Sure." She agrees. "Bye, Arizona." My fiancé pulling her into a hug, I smile at their interaction. "Thanks for this opportunity."

"You've got this, Jo. Don't doubt yourself." Pulling back, she gives her shoulders a squeeze for a little reassurance, and Jo gives her a nod. "We will get you to where you want to be, okay?"

"Okay." Heading for the door, she gives us both a final wave and heads outside. _I'm so happy that she is here._ Turning back to face my fiancé, she motions for me to come a little closer and I wrap my arms around her waist.

"Do you think she will be okay?" She asks, a little worry in her gorgeous blue eyes.

"She will be fine, Arizona."

"She seems a little on edge, though." My fiancé shrugs. "I just hope she doesn't feel uncomfortable around me. I'm just me. She should know that by now."

"I think it's just a lot for her to take in right now. It's always been just Jo and her mom. She's probably worried that she has left her behind."

"Well, make sure she knows that if she ever needs to take a week to go back and visit her, she can. I don't want her to think that she cannot come to me and talk if she needs to."

"She knows she can." Pressing a kiss to her lips, my heart flutters at the kindness Arizona has shown my best friend. I know she's awesome, but sometimes she still continues to surprise me. Sometimes I forget just how amazing my fiancé is. "Thank you for being gorgeous and amazing and my fiancé."

"Uh...you're welcome?" She chances. "But I'm just being me, Eliza."

"I know." I agree. "And I love exactly who you are." Pulling her through the kitchen and towards the living room, I fall back onto the couch and she drops down on top of me. "So, are you ever going to put out that announcement?"

"I thought you didn't want me to?" She furrows her brow as she brushes my hair from my face. "You said privately."

"The ceremony, yes." I agree. "But I still want the world to know that you are totally off the market…and mine."

"Then I will fix that for us." She smiles as her lips press against my own. "I'll totally make sure the world knows."

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.**

 **Also, some people seem to think that because I've written a new Calzona fic, I won't be writing anymore Ariliza. That's not true. If people want both then they will get both. Whilst I have readers and positive reviews, I will continue to write for both ships. Chill out, wonderful people. I have enough love in my heart for both right now.**


	72. Chapter 72

**Sorry for the delay in updating. Is anyone still reading this fic?**

 **Characters belong to Shonda. The rest is mine.**

* * *

Chapter Seventy-Two

* * *

ARIZONA'S POV

* * *

So, that's it. A press release was sent out to the entire world, and now my cell won't stop ringing. My emails won't stop refreshing. I didn't expect this kind of response, but I've had celebrity clients sending me well wishes, and honestly, it's a little overwhelming. Some of the biggest celebrities in the world have contacted me, and not just because of our announcement. Some want consultations, and some have simply said they want my work. Kinda weird really. I mean, I'm known for my work, and I'm known for working with celebrities, but this response…not what I expected at all. Eliza is out right now getting us some good coffee and I finally have the chance to sit and digest all of this. I knew what I wanted from the moment I met her, but it's out there now. Even when I proposed, I didn't feel this nervous. Now that the world knows, it cannot be taken back. Not that I'd want it to, but I cannot undo whatever is about to happen. Whether that be the world knowing I'm about to become someone's wife, or the world one day knowing that I will become a child's mother…none of it can be undone. _I like the feeling of not being in control of my life for once._ It's kinda nice not knowing where our future is headed.

My office door bursting open, Eliza almost falls to the floor and I rush to her, my brow furrowed. "You okay, baby?"

"N-No." She pants. "They're chasing me…"

"Um…" Glancing outside my office, I find my staff working as usual. "Who?"

"P-Paparazzi." She places her hand on her chest. "Lost them at the door, I think."

"Oh, baby." I give her a sad smile. "I'm so sorry."

"It's okay." She tries to catch her breath. "Almost broke my fucking neck in these heels."

"Take them off," I demand. "Take five. Just, calm down, okay?"

"I can't." She shakes her head. "They were out for blood, Arizona. I thought I was going to die…or be kidnapped. One or the other."

"Like I'd let that happen to you." I laugh. "I'll call security." Stepping away from my fiancé, I hit the security speed dial on my office phone and the call connects immediately.

"Miss Robbins." A deep voice answers.

"Hey, Rob. Can you have anyone without authorization kept away from the building? Paparazzi…journo's."

"Consider it done, ma'am." The call ending, I hang up the receiver and make my way back over to Eliza.

"All taken care of, okay?" Dropping down to my knees, she gives me a thankful smile and sips on her coffee, handing me my own in the process. "Sorry, I should have prepared you. I just didn't expect this reaction."

"What reaction?" She furrows her brow. "Don't they always follow you?"

"It lessened once Alexis and I broke it off." I give her a sad smile. "But it's gotten a little crazy around here right now."

"How crazy?" She asks. Her breathing finally returning to normal.

"Just crazy." I sigh, trying not to let this worry her too much. "It will settle down soon but I'm so sorry about you being chased down the street." I hate that she is being treated this way, but the media cannot help themselves. They've always been the same. Anyone with status or money like I have can never be left alone for more than five minutes. It didn't bother me as much as today has bothered me, but that's because Eliza doesn't want or need all of this in her life. She doesn't need to be pictured walking down the street, and I've tried so hard to not allow that to happen in the past. I just wish I could really protect her from it. Taking her hands in my own, she glances up at me and I run my thumb over her knuckles. "I'm so sorry…"

"Hey, it's okay." She waves off my comment. "I should have known this would happen. The media love you."

"I don't care about me." I shake my head. "But I don't want them to go too far and scare you off. If I have to lock you away for the foreseeable, I will." Her cell buzzing on her desk, she rolls her eyes and groans. "What's up?" I narrow my eyes.

"Someone has been calling me all day…"

"Have you answered it at all?" I ask. "Have they identified themselves?"

"No." She shakes her head. "This must be like the ninth call. I don't recognize the number."

Taking it from her desk, I hit accept on the screen and listen intently. "Hello?"

"May I speak with Miss Minnick, please?" A professional male voice asks.

"No, you may not." I spit. "Stop calling. She doesn't want to give an interview. She doesn't want to give you any dirt on me. She doesn't want to hear from you again." Ending the call, I set her cell back down and she gives me an adorable smile. "What?"

"I love how you protect me from your world." Pulling me into her body, she presses a soft kiss to my lips and smiles. "It's hot, but it's adorable too."

"This isn't my world." I tilt my head a little. "It hasn't been for a long time. But I know how intense it can become and I don't want that for you. I don't want you to have to force your way through them when you want to get some fresh air. I just want you to be happy, Eliza."

"God, I love you." She rolls her eyes playfully and pulls me back in for another kiss. Moaning into my mouth, I have to stop what is potentially starting. Well, maybe in another minute or two. Her kisses are what keep me alive in this place, so yeah…a little while longer won't hurt.

My door swinging open, Jo steps inside and her eyes widen. "Shit, I'm so sorry." Her hand covering her eyes, she backs up and hits the wall. _Okay, so me on my knees between Eliza's legs doesn't look good. I get that._ "Oh god, I uh…I'll leave."

"Relax, Jo." Eliza laughs as we create a little distance between us. "Nothing was happening."

"Yeah, totally not how it looked." She removes her hand, her eyes still closed. "Can I open them?"

"Unless you want to spend the rest of the day in the dark…yeah." I laugh. "Come on in and close the door."

"Hey…looking hot Wilson!" Eliza throws her a wink. "I see you got you some new heels."

"M-Maybe." She shrugs. Jo may only be in training, but I'm still paying her well. Very well, actually. So long as she doesn't freak out like Eliza once did, she can buy herself whatever she likes. "God, I could use some coffee." She moans as she drops down into the seat facing my desk. "What's next?"

"Take a break." I shrug. "Grab some coffee. Call your mom…whatever."

"O-Oh, that wasn't me throwing the hint or anything." She shakes her head. "But can I get you guys anything?"

"No, thank you." I smile. "You doing okay?"

"Hell yeah." She laughs. "Thanks again for this opportunity." The last few days have simply been Jo getting used to how things work around here, and that will probably last for a little while, but she has already shown me what she is capable of. Honestly, I feel confident knowing that she will be able to take over from me if she needs to. Well, when she needs to. "I'll leave you guys to get on with things here."

"Sure." I nod as I watch her stand. "Oh, and Jo…"

"Yeah?" She turns back, giving me a smile.

"You may want to knock next time." I give her a slight wink. "I mean, you know…just in case."

"Yes." She clears her throat. "Of course, yes." My fiancé unable to hold her laugh, Jo gives her a hard glare and Eliza holds onto her stomach. "Bite me." Flipping my fiancé the finger, I watch their interaction and it makes me smile. I'm so happy they have one another, but I'm more happy for Eliza. She doesn't have anyone here and the amount we work means she hasn't had the opportunity to meet new people and potential friends.

"Did you want to hang out with Jo tonight?" I ask as my office door closes. "I don't mind."

"No, I think she wants to just relax tonight."

"So, go and relax with her," I suggest. "Have a little normality in your life for once."

"But what about you?" She furrows her brow.

"I'm sure I'll survive." I laugh. "Take a nice bottle of wine and enjoy dinner with her. She has no one here, Eliza. You remember how hard that was?"

"I do." She gives me a sad smile. "Are you sure you don't mind?"

"I can't always have you to myself, Eliza. Go and spend the evening with your friend and I'll have a car to pick you up when you want to head home. You aren't walking, not with the media out and about."

"Okay." She nods. "I'll arrange with Jo when she gets back."

"I have work to do anyway, so it's no big deal." I slip my glasses back on. "Maybe I'll get a lot done tonight. You know, with you not there as a distraction."

"Now, that's just rude." She scoffs and shakes her head. "I will also remember that tonight when I get home and you cannot keep your hands off of me."

"Yeah?"

"Oh yes." She smiles. "I'll remind you how much of a distraction I am, and then you can keep your hands off of me. You may live to regret the words you've just said…"

* * *

Eliza left for Jo's a little over an hour ago, and I've managed to get a ton of work done since I arrived home. I didn't mean anything by her being a distraction earlier today, and I hope she knows that. She can distract me anytime she likes. It doesn't bother me in the slightest. I'd sooner be distracted by her than sit alone working for the rest of my life. I've just had some flowers sent over to Jo's place for my fiancé, and now I'm waiting to hear from her. I know she will love them, and I know it wasn't really necessary for me to send them over, but I wanted to. I guess it was some sort of apology for what I said, but I need her to know that I was just playing. I'm sure she knows I was, but today has been a weird kind of day and I feel like if I don't take control of everything happening around us, I'll lose her. I don't know why I'm feeling so worried, but I know how much she hates being in the spotlight and right now, I feel like I cant do anything to help her. I feel like I cant do anything to stop all of this.

Security at the office has been heightened a little but I don't want to go too far. The media are only doing their jobs, I get that, but Eliza doesn't like it. I don't myself if I'm being totally honest, but it's all I've known for most of my career so I don't feel as phased by it anymore. I know it comes with who I am, but that doesn't mean I'm just going to sit back and take it. My cell buzzing beside me, my fiancé's name appears on my screen and I instantly smile.

 ** _I love you. E x_**

 ** _I love you, too. A x_**

 ** _The flowers are beautiful. E x_**

 ** _My own little apology for everything that's happened today. Also, you ARE NOT a distraction. A x_**

 ** _Damn, I wish I was. E x_**

 ** _You are, but that is a good thing. Don't ever think that I'd rather work than spend time with you. I love you more than any project or cheque. A x_**

 ** _I know you do. I'll be home in a few hours. Jo is fried. I think you killed her today. E x_**

 ** _Bless. I'll be waiting for you. Movie? A x_**

 ** _Only if you promise to hold me? E x_**

 ** _I'll always hold you. A x_**

Setting my cell back down on the table beside me, my alarm system alerts me to a presence outside my door and I furrow my brow. Approaching the screen, I find a tall dark-haired man standing on my landing and my stomach flips. _Who the hell is that?_ Studying the screen a moment longer, I hit the lock button and my door triple locks. I'm not stupid where my home is concerned, and when I triple lock my door, security is immediately alerted down in the lobby. I've never had to use it since I moved into my condo, but something tells me that this guy doesn't have good intentions. I don't know why, but he gives me a bad feeling. Grabbing the receiver next to the system, I call down to the lobby and one of the regulars answers. "Hey, Robbins here."

"Miss Robbins. What can we do for you this evening?"

"Well, first you can explain why there is a guy standing outside my door." I sigh.

"He's here to see Miss Minnick." She responds.

"You realize that security applies to her, too?" I ask. "I want her to feel safe at all times."

"Of course." She agrees. "He said she knows him. Peter, something…" _FUCK!_

"Right, okay." I clear my throat. "Did he show any identification?"

"Yes, Ma'am." She replies. "Security will be right up."

"No, it's okay." I stop her. "I know who he is." Hanging up the receiver, I decide to play stupid with the guy outside my door. He has finally knocked but I don't want him to know that I can directly access security with the fob in my hand, so I unlock the door and act as nonchalant as possible. Any funny business and this guy is getting my knee in his balls. I was raised by a marine so I know exactly how to hurt him if I need to. Pulling the door open, I furrow my brow. "Can I help you?"

"I'm here to see Eliza." He straightens himself out a little and tries to maintain some sort of dominance.

"She isn't here." I shrug. "How did you find her?"

"Her mom gave me this address." He hands over the piece of paper in his hand and I glance over it. "Do you know where she is?"

"Why is that any of your concern?"

"I'm her fiancé." He drops his gaze. "Well, I was until last night."

"Oh." Of course, I know who he is, but I wanted to hear him say it first. The less I know and see this guy, the better. This is already a crazy amount of wrong, and I'm really not in the mood to have the whole fight with the ex thing. Not when he is a guy who doesn't stand a chance, anyway. "Well, she isn't here and as far as I'm concerned, you guys aren't together anymore."

"Do you think maybe I could stick around and speak to her?" He gives me a slight shrug and he looks genuinely defeated. "I can wait downstairs."

"Come back in an hour or so." I sigh. "I'll call her and have her come home."

"Thank you, Miss Robbins." He seems like a nice enough guy, but he really is wasting his time. Closing the door, I lock it and watch him head into the waiting elevator. My heart sinking at the prospect of having any sort of discussion, I grab my cell from the table and hit her number.

"Hey…" She breathes out as she answers my call.

"Your fiancé is here," I state.

"I know you are, beautiful. I promise I'll be home soon."

"No." I scoff. "Your _other_ fiancé."

"O-Oh." Her tone changes. "I, uh…"

"Just come home and fix this mess, Eliza. I don't have the time or the patience for it. I'll have a car with you in the next ten." Ending the call, I pinch the bridge of my nose and drop down into my seat. This really isn't how I wanted to spend the rest of my evening, but I guess I have to sit and listen to whatever shit is about to happen.

 _That announcement was such a bad idea…_

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.**


	73. Chapter 73

**Guest: Sorry you are struggling to read with the lesser updates for this fic. It's only been ten days since it was updated but I try to provide updates if and when I can. Apologies if you are no longer with us on this one. Understandable, I guess. Sorry to see you go…**

 **I won't say anymore, I'll let the rest of you guys read on and see where this goes…**

 **Characters belong to Shonda. The rest is mine.**

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Chapter Seventy-Three

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ELIZA'S POV

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Oh god. This is a nightmare. Everything about this day has been a fucking nightmare and now it's about to get worse. Peter is here. Yeah, Peter my ex. Well, what I'd call my ex but I'm not entirely sure he sees it that way. I mean, I haven't spoken to him since probably two weeks after I arrived in New York, but he's here. He's at our condo. What the hell am I supposed to do with any of that? I'm in a car right now, and Rich is watching me through the rearview mirror. I know he is desperate to ask me if everything is okay, but I'm thankful that he hasn't done that. I'm thankful that he is simply driving me back to the place where it's about to get a little heavy. I've always maintained that Peter is a great guy, and I still believe that, but Arizona sounded pissed when she called me. She sounded mad. She has every right to be, though. I mean, I didn't break anything off with him, but that isn't because I didn't want to. I just…I forgot. Yeah, a stupid thing to forget, but so much has happened since I moved to New York and some days felt like they'd rolled into one at one point. I hope to god this isn't going to create any problems between us, but this poor guy thought that he was going to marry me, so I don't imagine anything good can come from this. I just need it not to put any kinks in our plans. I'd hate for us to have to slow down with the progress we've recently made. I'm also pretty sure there is only so much Arizona can take where I'm concerned.

The car coming to a stop, I give Rich a thankful smile and rush out into the lobby of our condo block. John is at his usual post and tips his hat as I make my way straight to the elevator. I don't want to leave Arizona thinking for too long alone. Thinking usually means a fight is about to happen, and I really don't have any fight left in me. I know I've been stupid for not telling Peter about my life here, but I was so disinterested in him that I figured he'd realized I wasn't coming home. That still doesn't excuse any of this, though, and I'll hold my hands up to that.

The elevator shooting me up to our floor, I step off and swipe my key down the door. The green light granting me access, I make my way inside and find Arizona sitting with her laptop at the dining table. "Hey…" I sigh. "Um, di-"

"Why didn't you tell him, Eliza?" Her words cutting me off, I'm a little shocked by the tone of her voice. It's cold. Void of any emotion. "Huh?" She removes her glasses and drops them down in front of her before glancing my way. "Did you think it would just disappear and you wouldn't have to explain yourself?"

"I kinda hoped it would, yeah." Giving her a half smile, she shakes her head and I can see the disappointment in her eyes. "Arizona, please don't be mad."

"I'm not mad." She stands and moves into the kitchen. "I just don't understand why you didn't call him and tell him."

"I just forgot."

"You forgot." She deadpans. "That's not really a good enough excuse."

"That's because it's not an excuse." I shrug. "It's the truth. I really did forget."

"How the hell do you forget about something like that?" Her voice now a little raised, I raise an eyebrow and she gives me a knowing look. "Don't stand there and look at me like you are my mother, Eliza. I have every right to be a little pissed off right now, don't you think?"

"I know you do, and I totally understand why, but I really don't want to fight with you about it. It's no big deal. I'll tell him and then he will leave."

"And that makes this all okay?" She laughs. "You are about to break that guy's heart and it's all because you _forgot_ to tell him."

Okay, so I never imagined she would be that concerned about his feelings, but she is and I don't even know what to do with that. "So, what do you want me to do then?" I spit. "Go back to him and see how it all works out because his feelings got hurt?"

"Dunno." She shrugs as she pours herself a glass of wine. "Do you want to go back to him?"

"What?" I ask, incredulously. "You don't mean that…"

"It would explain why you didn't tell him it was over." She shrugs. I know she is mad at me right now, and I know she is just trying to hurt me with her words…but enough is enough. I'm stopping this before it goes any further. Before either of us say something we may regret.

"No." I grip her wrist and red wine splashes onto the floor. "Don't dare walk away from me. Not when you've just said something like that."

"I don't know what else you want me to say." She sighs. "I didn't expect him to turn up here, Eliza. I mean, he knows where we live…and you can thank your mom for that."

"My mom told him?" I furrow my brow.

"Apparently so." She shrugs. "Look, I don't know why you didn't tell him, and right now…I no longer care. Fix it, though. I'm not prepared to be here with you when you have a guy chasing after you. It's all kinds of wrong. It really is."

"You'd l-leave me?" I stutter.

"I don't know what I'd do right now. Just…please get rid of him when he comes back."

"Why is he coming back? Couldn't you have just told him we were together?"

"Oh no." She laughs as she shakes her head. "This is _your_ mess to clean up. I've had enough of my own mess to fix lately. I don't need yours on top of that."

"Wow, thanks for the support." Pulling my cell from my back pocket, I head off down the hallway and pull up my recent calls. The call I kept receiving today makes sense now. It must have been him. Hitting the call button, it rings out and eventually, his familiar voice comes onto the line. "Eliza, hi."

"Hey, Peter." I run my fingers through my hair. "You, uh…you came by my place earlier?"

"Yes." He agrees. "I was hoping we could talk."

"About what?"

"Us." He stutters. "You know, what happened?"

"Peter, there is no us. Nothing was happening. How could you not see that?" I ask. "I know I should have called, and I apologize for not doing so, but I'm marrying Arizona."

"But she's a woman." He replies.

"Good observation." I roll my eyes. "Have you not spoken with my mother? I mean, she came here months ago to bring me home. Did you not wonder why I didn't come back?"

"No." He sighs. "She told me that you were busy working and left me with an address for you. She moved out of town."

"Of course, she did." I scoff. "I figured she would have told you, and I'm sorry that she didn't, but I'm marrying Arizona."

"Is it something I did?" He asks, a little worry in his voice. _Oh, come on. How can he not see that we weren't going anywhere?_

"No, Peter." I shake my head and take a seat on the edge of our bed. "I'm gay. I've always been gay. Mom tried to change my mind, but well…it didn't work."

"No, I can see that." He admits. "Do you think we would ever work?"

"Nope." Is he really going to try to convince me to come home? God, I hope he doesn't put himself through that. "Did you not wonder when I didn't call you for what? Seven months?"

"I just wanted to leave you to work. I didn't want to interrupt you." _Oh, god love him._ "You said you were saving for our wedding."

"No, my mom said that. I never once said I was saving for our wedding."

"Seems like your mom got off pretty lightly in all of this, huh?"

"Yeah, it does." I agree. "Look, I really have to go, but I'm so sorry I didn't call and explain. Please, don't think you did anything wrong. It's just not who I am."

"I'm sorry your mom made you do this." He sighs. "You'll take care of yourself, though, out in New York?"

"I will." I nod. A slight smile appearing on my face. "You take care of yourself, too."

"Goodbye, Eliza." Ending the call, I shake my head and a little guilt settles within me. Arizona is right. What I've done is totally unacceptable. I feel awful for how I've treated him, but I've been busy fixing my life here. Whenever it got good, something or someone came out of nowhere and crushed it. Honestly, Peter hasn't been on my mind since the day I told Arizona about him. He hasn't, and honestly…I'm not sure he was ever truly on my mind. It was a farce. A joke. It was my mother trying to rule my life, and thankfully, I stood up to her and let her go, too.

Heading off down the hallway, I find Arizona still sitting at her laptop and I'm not sure she even wants to hear what I have to say right now. I mean, she hasn't even looked up at me so I know she is super pissed with me. I guess I deserve it, though. I guess I deserve to feel like the bad guy because I am. Once again…I am. "I'm taking a shower." Not even getting a breath from her, I drop my gaze and head off into the bathroom. Closing the door behind me, I turn the taps and wait for the steam to fill the space around me.

I'm kinda mad at myself right now, and I don't know how to fix this. I can only do so much and if Arizona needs to be angry with me for a little while longer, I guess I'll just have to persevere. I know it may have all been one-sided where my past relationship was concerned, but it still doesn't make any of this right. I mean, I can't even begin to imagine how I'd feel if the tables were turned and Arizona's ex-fiancé turned up at our door. I know I've had a run-in with an ex of hers, but that was totally different. Alexis never put a ring on Arizona's finger…Peter did. It may not have been what I wanted, but I still accepted and I still wore that ring. Her own ring is now replacing the one that once sat there…and yeah, I get why she is mad. I totally get it. The least I could have done was call off my engagement with him, but I didn't. I didn't and I have my own reasons for that, but still…it was wrong.

Stepping into the shower, I allow the water to soak through my skin and my mind is in overdrive right now. What if this was the final straw? What if Arizona cannot take any more of me and my past turning up at her door? Surely there is only so much that one person can take. Surely she is beyond all of that now. I know we will probably fight about it again when I finish my shower, but right now, I need to calm my mind. I need to calm it and try to push through this worry that is settling deep inside of me. It's the worry I've felt so many times before and it honestly makes me wonder why Arizona is even still with me. It makes me wonder why she allows me into even be in this home with her.

I just wanted a nice night with her. After I'd received her gorgeous arrangement of flowers, I wanted to come home and hold her all night. It wasn't even about the sex. I just wanted to be with her. Just like I do every night. I know she meant well with suggesting I spend the evening with my best friend, but Arizona is also my best friend and no amount of time with her will ever be too much. Sensing her presence behind me, my body freezes and I don't even know what is about to happen. Is she in here to tell me that she can't do this anymore? Is she here to kick me out? Facing the wall, I close my eyes and breathe through these emotions I have running through me right now. "I'm sorry." She presses her lips to my shoulder and wraps her arms around my waist. "I'm so sorry…"

"You have nothing to be sorry about," I speak, barely above a whisper. "This is all on me."

"But I hurt you with what I said. How I reacted." She tightens her grip around my waist and trails her lips up the side of my neck.

"I didn't not tell him intentionally," I whisper, trying to keep the tears _in_ my eyes. "I just had a lot going on."

"I know." She agrees as she takes my earlobe between her teeth. "Forgive me?"

"There is nothing to forgive…" I sigh, her hands working the skin of my wet stomach and slipping down the front of my thigh. "But are we okay?"

"Yes." She breathes against my ear. "I just love you so much that I'm scared someone is going to come in here and take you away from me." Her words causing my heart to break, I place my hand over her own that is working my thigh and guide it between my legs. "Eliza…" She moans as her fingers connect with warm arousal.

"You won't ever lose me." Pressing her fingers against my clit, I lift my arm and wrap it around the back of her neck, her lips sucking on my skin. "I couldn't live without you, Arizona."

"This is us." She forces her ass against my center whilst drawing soft circles against my throbbing bundle. "Like this. Promise me that nobody will ever take this away from us?"

"I promise." Gasping as her movements speed up a little, I'm ready to fall over the edge and I'm not even bothering to hold back. I need this. I need her to make me feel good. Nothing else about this evening has been good, so yeah…I need her to make me come. "Fuck…" My stomach tightening, I gasp and writhe against her and she only holds me closer than before…if that is even possible. "I'm sorry…" I breathe out, her fingers still working my center. "I love you."

"I love you, too." She breathes out as she turns me in her arms and pushes me back against the cool tiled wall.

"I was too busy, Arizona." Her lips pressing against my own, she gives me a slight nod and her hands rest either side of my head against the wall. "I was too busy loving you to even care about anything else. You have totally consumed me, and that is the only reason I didn't call. That's the only reason tonight happened."

"I shouldn't have reacted how I did." She rests her forehead against my own. "I should have heard you out."

"No, you had every right to be mad." I give her a sad smile. "Just…don't think that there was any other reason for this happening. It hurt when she questioned us, but you didn't deserve this. You didn't deserve to have him turn up at our door looking for me. I love you, and only you."

"I know you do." She breathes against my mouth. "I know what we have…" Her hands trailing my body once again, I relax against the wall and she grazes my nipple with her thumb. "No matter who comes into our lives, I know that nobody will ever make you feel the way I do, Eliza." Her teeth sinking into my neck, I sense a hint of jealousy coming from my fiancé. "Nobody."

"Oh god." My chest heaving as she tugs on my nipple, I love this side of her. It may be make-up sex, and unnecessary makeup sex at that, but god, she's hot when she gets a little jealous. She really does have nothing to be jealous about, though.

"You know that right?" She moans as she bites down on my ear. "You know that nobody else could make you feel this way."

"F-Fuck...I know." My center grinding down against her thigh, she smiles against my neck. "Take me, Arizona."

"Mm, I thought you'd never ask." Pushing two fingers deep inside of me, my legs almost buckle and she drops to her knees. "What do you need?" She asks. "What do I have to do to show you that you're mine…not his!"

Lifting her head, I give her a sad smile. "Baby, I've _never_ been his…but I will _always_ be yours." Her gaze dropping again, she sucks my clit into her mouth and moans as fresh arousal floods from my center. "Oh, oh fuck." Gripping the back of her head, I force her mouth against me and it only causes her to push deeper and harder into me. "Yes, fuck me good." Sinking down, I match her every movement and my stomach tightens, my walls clenching her fingers. "Give me more…" I demand and she slips a third finger inside of me. "Fuck, I love how you work my body." She needs these words from me. I know she does. It only makes her want me more but reassures her at the same time.

"So tight." She moans as she struggles to move inside of me. "You're close, huh?" Glancing up at me, her eyes are black and I simply nod. "You wanna come?"

"I always want to come for you…" I whisper as a fresh orgasm approaches. "Harder." I moan as I sink down and she curls her fingers deep inside of me. "Fuck me harder, Arizona."

Doing as I ask, she rolls her tongue over my clit and my grip tightens in her hair. "Come for me, Eliza." Sucking harder on my throbbing bud, my knees shake and my orgasm rips through my entire body. "That's it, ride it out, beautiful."

"F-Fuck." My body slipping down the wall a little, Arizona gets to her feet and wraps her arm around me. "Oh god…" I pant. "Arizona…" My body still shaking, and her fingers still inside me, every movement she makes sends a shock wave through my body. "Baby, t-that was…"

"Perfect?" She smirks.

"Mm…" I nod as she holds my body upright.

"I love you." Her lips pressing softly against my own, a tear slips down her face and I brush it away. "I love you and I'm sorry."

"No more." I shake my head. "No more apologies, please?"

"Okay, I just…let me make it up to you." She breathes out. "Let's get you out of here and into the bedroom." Giving her a nod in agreement, I run my fingers through her damp hair and study her face. I know I worried her before, but does she seriously think that I'd ever leave her and go back to my old life? Even if we were no longer together, I could never do that. I wouldn't put myself through that pain. Never. Arizona is the one for me, and yes...I made a mistake in not calling Peter sooner. We have to move forward, though. After all, we have a wedding to plan.

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 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.**


	74. Chapter 74

**Characters belong to Shonda. The rest is mine.**

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Chapter Seventy-Four

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ARIZONA'S POV

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Waking up in Eliza's arms, I feel a heaviness settled into my chest and I instantly feel mad at myself. She didn't deserve the way I spoke to her last night but it just happened. I don't know where my anger came from, but I could feel it building the longer I waited for her to come home. I could feel that burning sensation throughout my entire body and I hate feeling that way. I hate being mad. It's not who I am, and I very rarely allow it to consume me like it did. I very rarely allow myself to become that person. Honestly, I'm not sure I've ever raised my voice to her, and it only makes me feel even worse about all of this. I mean, she should have told Peter a lot sooner than this, but I guess she is right. She was simply living her life how she should always have been living it. Happy. In love. Gay. I'm the one who allowed her to be the person that she is today, and I shouldn't be freaking out like I did because her old life showed up at our door last night. I shouldn't be allowing myself to get so worked up that it causes problems between us. How I reacted was totally wrong.

I know she forgives me, but there shouldn't be anything to forgive. I knew the second I'd raised my voice that I was wrong for doing so, and that's why I gave her the silent treatment. I just needed to be mad at myself for a little while longer. I just needed to calm down and leave her to do her thing. I know she called him. I heard everything she said. It sounds like he kinda knew she wasn't coming home, but we still have to discuss it today. We still have to sit down and talk about the fact that her ex-fiancé is here. It could become problematic between the two of them, but he seems okay. He didn't come across as the type to cause issues between Eliza and I. I guess time will tell, though. _I swear if he comes back here I'll kill him._ I don't need a guy chasing after my fiancé. I really don't. We've been through enough, and even though I know she would never go back to Detroit, it's still an unnecessary situation to be in.

I mean, I'm a successful businesswoman. I don't need creepy guys showing up at my $13 million condo. I really don't. If I have to pay him off, too, I will. I wouldn't even hesitate to do that. Anything to give Eliza and I a happy, quiet life. Anything to keep the assholes from her past away. Slowly climbing from our bed, my fiancé doesn't even stir. Slipping my robe over my shoulders, I head out of the bedroom and into the kitchen. It's a little after 8 am so I'm already running late for getting to the office but right now I don't care. I can't even think about work when I know how much I hurt Eliza last night. It may be something and nothing, but I have to take the day to fix this. To fix us. To talk and to make everything okay. Grabbing my personal cell from the kitchen counter, I pull up my messages and send one off to Jo.

 ** _Take the morning off. Be at my place for 1 pm. Feel free to bring coffees. Arizona._**

 ** _Sure. No problem. Jo._**

Locking my cell, I pour myself a fresh coffee and make my way over to the window seat. Eliza's birthday is in a few days and now seems like the best time to think about her gift from me. I mean, she doesn't really need anything, and she hasn't even spoken about her birthday, but I know when it is. I checked the employee system as soon as things got serious between us. I know what I'll be buying for her, but I think a little extra something could be good for us right now. Maybe a vacation. Maybe Cuba? We could make some plans whilst we are there and then it's less hassle working from New York. Wrapping my hands around my coffee cup, I sigh and rest my head against the side of the window. _I just want everything to be perfect all of the time._ I know that isn't possible and life never works that way, but it's nice to think that maybe one day…everything _will_ be perfect. We can all hope, huh?

The sound of bare feet hitting the hardwood flooring, I glance to my left and find my fiancé heading into the kitchen. "You want a fresh cup?" She asks.

"No, thank you." I give her a small smile. "I've just poured this. I didn't think you would up so soon."

"We have to be at the office." She furrows her brow. "Shouldn't you be showering?"

"No, not yet." I turn my attention to the view outside the window. "Working from home today. Jo is coming by after lunch."

"Oh, okay." She approaches me and nudges me over a little. "Got some room for me over here?"

"I've always got room for you…" Settling down between my legs, I wrap my arm around her body and place a kiss on top of her head. "You okay?" I ask, guilt settling back inside of me.

"Yeah." She nods. "Tired, but okay."

"I'm sorry about last night." I drop a kiss below her ear and she rests her head on my shoulder, glancing up at me. "I am, Eliza. I'm so sorry."

"It's okay." She places her hand over my own. "It's Just one of those things, Arizona. I don't want you to feel bad. I already feel bad enough for the both of us."

"Why?" I furrow my brow.

"Because I caused this." She gives me a sad smile. "I'm the reason you were mad at all."

"But I shouldn't have got mad." I sigh. "There was no reason for me freak out like I did. It's not as though he is going to win you back."

"No...he definitely won't ever win me back." She states. "Just...everything is okay. I called him and he was okay."

"Are you sure?" I raise my eyebrow. "Like, do I have to meet with him and discuss boundaries?"

"No." She smiles. "That really won't be necessary."

"Because I can. I can kick his ass back to Detroit." _Okay, enough with the green-eyed monster._ "Sorry." She gives me a smirk and I drop my gaze. "Ugh, I don't know why I feel so jealous that he's here. I mean, he doesn't have anything that you want." Shaking my head, I sigh and close my eyes. "Maybe you should spend the day without me."

"Yeah, That ain't happening." She shrugs. "I want to spend it with you."

"Let me take you out to dinner tonight," I suggest. "Just, a night to ourselves?"

"I'd like that." She agrees. "Just us…"

"You should take yourself shopping then." I nod. "I have some stuff to do here anyway."

"I don't need to shop." She rolls her eyes. "I have way too much anyway."

"But I saw something that would look hot on you. Take Jo. Treat yourself. Take my credit card."

"Uh, no." She shakes her head.

"Uh, Yeah." I counter. "I need you out of here so you kinda have to."

"Okay, What the hell are you going to do?" She gives me a slight look of worry.

"Nothing to concern you." I place a soft kiss on her head. "Nothing to concern you at all."

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"No, I'll take the white one. Black alloys, though." Settled on the couch, I talk with my usual car dealer. "Newest model, too."

"Sure, Miss Robbins." He agrees. "And the interior?"

"White," I state, pretty certain of my choices. "I need it in three days, Marc. Can you do that for me?"

"I'll make it happen, don't you worry about that." He replies. "Congratulations on your engagement…"

"Thank you." I smile.

"I'll assume you want the tinted windows?"

"Oh, for sure." I agree. "The darker the better."

"No problem. That can work." The sound of papers rustling, he clears his throat. "If there is nothing else, I'll have my guys on this right away."

"No, I think that's everything." I nod. "Good to speak to you, Marc."

"You too, Miss Robbins. Anything to make your life easier. I'll call you, okay?"

"Look forward to it. See ya, Marc." Ending my call, I sit back in my seat and smile to myself. Eliza may think my gift is a little too much, but I don't so it doesn't really matter. She will love it, I know she will…but she may freak out a little beforehand. Hearing the door unlock, I quickly shuffle my papers into a pile and shut the lid of my laptop. "Hey…" I smile as she almost falls through the door with hundreds of bags. "Someone had fun, huh?"

"I'm so tired." She whines as she drops her purchases to the floor. "I'm never shopping with Jo again." She states. "I need coffee, a nap, and new legs."

"Well, I can fix the first two issues you have, but as for new legs? You're on your own with that."

"What have you been doing all day?" She wraps her arms around my waist and pulls me into her body. "Anything exciting?"

"Just working and missing you…" I sigh. "But now you're here, everything is perfect."

"You know what is perfect?" She smirks. "The lingerie I bought you…"

"Mm, new lingerie?" I pull her towards the kitchen counter. "What did I do to deserve that?"

"Oh, it was way too hot to not buy." She states. "Like, it will look hot on you, or on the floor. Either way, it now belongs to you and you will be wearing it tonight."

"Is that so?" My lips press below her ear and my body aches for her touch. "I wasn't planning on wearing any tonight…"

"Mm, okay. That is even hotter." She tilts her head, allowing me better access to her soft skin. "You know, sharing dinner with you and knowing you will be wearing nothing will make me a little wet."

"I know."

"Is that really what you want to do to me?" She questions. "Don't you think that's a little cruel?"

"The wetter the better, baby." Pulling her down the hallway, my back connects with the wall and she forces her thigh between my legs. "Don't you think?"

"Maybe." She tugs on my bottom lip. "Guess we will have to wait and see, huh?"

"I guess we will." Slipping my hand beneath her dress, my fingertips graze her thigh and she moans against my mouth. "I'll bet you're wet right now."

"Why don't you check yourself?" Sucking on my pulse point, my own arousal pools between my legs and I'm not sure how much longer I can tease her. I just want to fuck her and be fucked. I have all the time in the world for teasing. "Better yet…" She places her hand on my chest and pulls back. "Why don't we just save this for tonight?"

"You're kidding, right?" My mouth falls open in disbelief when she shakes her head. "I mean, you'd actually leave me like this?"

"Baby, it's almost six. We have to get ready if we are going to make our reservation."

"Fuck the reservation." I scoff. "I'll change it."

"No, you won't." She smiles. "And tonight will only be so much freaking hotter, no?"

"Ugh." I drop my head on my shoulders. "You're actually killing me right now."

"I know." She places a kiss below my ear. "But you love it." Stepping away from me, she heads into the bathroom and turns back to face me. "I'm taking a shower…"

"With me?" My eyes brighten.

"Nope." The door closing and locking, my knees almost buckle and I swear I may have to take myself into the bedroom and fix this issue I seem to have. _No, Arizona. Just wait…it will be so worth it._ How am I supposed to be not turned on after that, though? How am I supposed to just carry on with my night like nothing has happened? I swear she will be the death of me one day…

* * *

She's absolutely killing me tonight. I swear to God. I don't know how she does it and I don't know why, but I've stared at her the entire time she has been eating and I don't know how I'm supposed to suppress this urge I have to fuck her against this table. The way I'm feeling right now, I actually would and I wouldn't care who saw us. I wouldn't care if the entire world was watching us. Setting her fork down, she pushes her plate away and settles back in her seat. Lifting her wine glass from the table, she glances at me over the rim of it and her eyes are painfully dark. I'm not sure they've ever been so dark. "How was dinner?" She asks as she licks her lips.

"Amazing." I swallow hard. "Y-Yours?"

"Intense." She narrows her eyes a little and watches me as I cross my legs. "Kinda hot, too."

"Really?" I raise an eyebrow as I lean in a little closer. "Why so?"

"Maybe the spices…" She shrugs. "Maybe the company. I don't know."

"Maybe we should get out of here and enjoy dessert back home?" Throwing the suggestion her way, she takes her bottom lip between her teeth and leans in towards me. "What do you say?"

"Mm…" She tilts her head a little. "I want to go dancing." _Dancing? Fucking dancing?_ I've almost come like these times sitting here with her and she wants to go dancing? What the hell is she doing? "Yeah." She nods. "Dancing would be nice."

"Oh, I'm sure it would be incredible." I sit back in my seat and sigh. "I can hardly wait."

"Patience, Arizona." The toe of her heel runs up the back of my leg and my eyes close. _Oh god._ I swear if she carries on this behavior any longer, I'm actually going to pull her into the nearest alleyway and take her hard. It's not what I want…but it may be the only solution. "I promise I will make it worth your while."

"If you want to dance…we will dance." I give her my best fake smile. "But I can't promise that I won't fall into bed when we get home. You know, it's been a long day." Time to play her at her own game.

"That's okay." She catches the waiters attention. "I know you've worked hard today so we won't dance for too long." Receiving the bill, she sets down her own credit card and I furrow my brow. "I'll get this." She smiles. "For being so cruel before we left."

"Fine by me." I smile. "You know, the paparazzi were outside when we arrived."

"So?"

"So, I wasn't sure you wanted to be out in public." I shrug. I may be playing on her fear right now, and that's kinda awful, but I desperately want to get her home. "Just a thought."

"I'm sure I'll be okay." She stands and my eyes land on her barely covered thighs. _Holy shit!_ "I have you to protect me, right?"

"A-Always." I nod as she pulls me up to my feet and places a kiss below my ear.

"Well, come on then." She guides me through the restaurant and we step out onto the street. "It's a little cold."

"Take my blazer?" I attempt to slip it off my shoulders but she stops me and leans in painfully close.

"Down there." She whispers. "I'm beginning to wish I'd put on some underwear." _Okay, I'm no longer breathing._ I'm no longer in my own body. Her arm wrapping around my waist, she guides me down the street and her hand slips to my ass. "You look incredible tonight, by the way."

"Thanks." I release the breath I've been holding for what feels like all of eternity. "But you are really fucking killing me right now."

"Sorry." She gives me a sad smile. "I'll stop."

 _Please don't._ "One dance and then we leave, okay?" I raise my eyebrow. "One dance and one drink. I need to get home, Eliza. I'm barely hanging on right now."

"I'm sorry you feel that way." Squeezing my ass a little, my eyes close and she stops us outside her bar of choice. "I'll make it up to you, okay?"

"Oh, I know you will," I state as I push the heavy glass door open. Stepping inside, I head straight for the bar and Eliza steps up behind me, her center pressing against my ass. "Eliza…" I breathe out as she braces her hands either side of my body on the bar counter.

"How wet are you, Arizona?" Her breath washing over my ear, her tongue runs down my neck and she rests one hand on the outside on my thigh. "Huh?"

"You have to stop." My eyes close momentarily. The bartender appearing in front of me, I place an order for cocktails and he gives me a nod.

"How wet?" She asks again, her voice barely above a whisper. "Just a little…"

"Fuck."

"Or enough for me to make you come in this bar…" Her lips curling into a smile against my skin, my mouth hangs open and I'm not entirely sure I've just heard her right. "Grab the drinks and get in that booth…NOW!"

Okay, so this may be all kinds of wrong, but Jesus Christ...my fiancé is the hottest woman on this planet. Following her, she motions for me to climb inside first, and as I do, her hand brushes against my inner thigh. "What the hell are you trying to do to me?" I ask, my tone lowered. Slipping in beside me, she turns a little, her legs crossed and now blocking the potential view of anyone who may be watching. "Eliza…we can just wait until we get home."

Her left hand draped over the back of the booth, she gently toys with my hair and I glance her way, her mouth only millimeters from my ear. "You see, I'd thought about that, but it seems I really can't wait."

"No?" I smirk. "Worked yourself up, too, huh?"

"Maybe." She presses a kiss below my ear and her fingers slip between my legs. "But I'm pretty sure I worked you up more than I'd planned…"

"Why don't you find out?" Smiling when she discovers I'm wearing no panties, she runs a single digit through my soaked folds. "Oh god." Trying to remain as still as possible, I watch her shift a little and right now, it looks like we are simply talking. If only the other customers knew what was really going on beneath this table. "This is a bad idea."

"But so fucking hot." She props her head up on her elbow and turns her body in a little. "You are dripping, baby."

"I fucking know I am." I grit my teeth as she slips a finger inside of me.

"You should have said." She gives me a sad smile. "I could have fucked you so much sooner." _Wow…_ I don't know what has gotten into her tonight, but it's all kinds of hot and dirty. "I'd have found a way."

"Y-Yeah?" I ask, my breath catching in my throat as she slips a second finger inside of me and pushes a little deeper. Slowly grinding my hips against her fingers, my eyes close and I clench my jaw.

"Mm, I'll always give you what you need whenever you need it."

"You are so fucking hot right now." Rocking against her hand, my stomach tightens and I can feel that burning sensation intensify. My fiancé is fucking me in a bar, and I don't even know how to feel about it. I'm feeling all kinds right now, but thankfully, it's all good thoughts. "E-Eliza, I-I, oh god." Taking my bottom lip between my teeth, my eyes close again and she leans in a little closer.

"I love how I can do this to you." She smiles against my mouth. "One of the most successful businesswomen in New York, and you are being fucked in a bar."

"Shit…" My orgasm fast approaching, she pushes deeper inside of me and curls her fingers. "Fuck, don't stop."

"I'll never stop fucking you." She whispers as she presses her lips to my own. My body falling over the edge, she silences me with a hard kiss and my entire being is on fire right now. "I love you…" She pulls back when she knows I'm coming down from my high. "You are so unbelievably amazing, and you are mine, Arizona. Only mine."

"I love you, too." I breathe out. "But I really need to get you home right now. I'm sorry, Eliza, but I can't wait any longer. I really can't."

"Come on…" She smirks. "We can dance another time."

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.**


	75. Chapter 75

*****NOT SAFE FOR WORK*****

 **Characters belong to Shonda. The rest is mine.**

* * *

Chapter Seventy-Five

* * *

ELIZA'S POV

* * *

The elevator doors opening, my body is pushed forward and Arizona's lips are already attached to the back of my neck. I know I worked her up good tonight, but I didn't expect this. I didn't expect her to be absolutely crazy with want for me and my body. My body forced against the door, she lips a thigh between my legs from behind and it instantly reacts by grinding down against her. "Are you wet, Eliza?" Her words low and sultry, I shudder in anticipation for what is about to happen this evening. "Are you as wet as you made me tonight?"

"Fuck…" I breathe out as I rummage around in my purse for my key. "Arizona."

"Answer me." She groans as her hand slips around the front of my body and drops to my thigh. "Or do I have to find out myself?"

"There are cameras." Again, my body grinds down against her thigh and I can't stop myself from needing some sort of friction.

"So?" She smirks against my ear. "You just fucked me in a bar…"

"God, that was hot." I close my eyes when I'm reminded of our time a little while ago. "But can we wait until we get inside."

"Then I suggest you move that hot ass of yours before I fuck you against this door." My fingers finally connecting with my key card, I pull it from my purse and swipe it down the door. Relieved when the green light flashes, I push the door open and my body is forced inside. The heavy door slamming closed, Arizona is already lifting my dress up and over my body and I won't lie…she is all kinds of hot right now. I love the desperate side of her. It makes me crave her even more. "Do you have any idea how much I've wanted to take you tonight, Eliza?"

"I'm beginning to understand that, yeah." I moan as she bites down on my shoulder. "You need me, huh?"

"Need you?" She raises her eyebrow. "Baby, I'm going to fuck you until the sun comes up."

"Mm, I know," I smirk. "That was the reaction I was hoping for."

"You're spoilt." She laughs as she grips my ass and guides me towards the couch. "So spoilt."

"And who's fault is that?"

"Oh, mine." She grips my hips. "And I'm totally fine with that."

"Because it all benefits you, right?" I laugh. "Typical businesswoman."

"Hey!" She pulls back. "Gotta do what I gotta do."

"And if you could hurry up…" I roll my eyes. "...I think you were about to _do_ me."

"Oh, I was." She pushes me down onto the couch and straddles my legs. "I definitely was." Gripping the back of the couch, she grinds her center down against my own and I can't help the moan that escapes my mouth. Pulling her dress from her body, I throw it behind the couch and her lips connect with my own. Both of us having the same idea before we left earlier, we seem to have decided against underwear and it makes things so much easier right now. "You enjoyed tonight, didn't you? Teasing me and working me up…" Sucking on that sweet spot below my ear, I simply moan in appreciation for everything that she is doing to my body. "You wanted to make me yours…"

"You _are_ mine." I scoff. "And don't ever forget it." Slipping my hand between our bodies, I run my fingers through her folds and her breath catches in her throat. "You'll always be mine."

"Mm, I know." She pulls back and studies my face. Reaching over behind me, she presses the controller for the music system and a beat plays out throughout the room. "You felt how much I wanted you…but now it's my turn to take you, Eliza." Climbing off of me, she pulls me up to my feet and turns me around. "You want to do this here, or?" I glance over my shoulder and shrug.

"I don't care where you fuck me, Arizona." My words causing her eyes to darken more so than before, she bites down on her bottom lip and grips my ass, spreading me wide open for her. "I love your hands…" I breathe out as I grip the back of the couch, my head dropping between my shoulders.

"Where do you love them?" She asks. "Here?" Running them up my back, she grips my shoulders and forces her center against me. "Or here?" Bringing them around to the front of me, she grazes my nipples and a soft moan leaves my mouth. "How about here?" Running one hand down my stomach, my fiancé dips her hand further down and between my legs, her fingers connecting with my throbbing clit. "Mm, here is exactly where you love them." Applying a little pressure to my swollen bud, I force my ass back against her and she grinds into me. "And here is exactly where I need them to be." Biting down on my shoulder, I hiss in pleasure and I'm totally lost in my fiancé right now.

 ** _Time flies by when the night is young  
Daylight shines on an undisclosed location, location  
Bloodshot eyes looking for the sun  
Paradise delivered and we call it a vacation, vacation_**

You're painting me a dream that I  
Wanna belong, yeah, wanna belong, yeah

Forcing my body down against the back of the couch, she skims her fingertips up the back of my thigh and I don't feel like I'm even in my own body right now. I know she makes me crazy and I know she is all I ever think about, but this woman continues to amaze me every day. The way she touches me. Her voice. The way she makes my body absolutely crazy with want and need for her. Her touch. Her every breath is for me, and only me. "So beautiful…" Her lips working my shoulder blade, she spreads my legs a little more and runs her fingers through my arousal from behind. "Everything about you is so incredibly beautiful."

"A-Arizona…" I groan as she slowly slips two fingers inside of me. "Please…"

"Do you need me, baby?" Her breath washing over my ear, I simply nod and she sinks a little deeper.

 ** _Over the hills and far away  
A million miles from L.A  
Just anywhere away with you  
I know we've got to get away  
Someplace where no one knows our name  
We'll find the start to something new  
Just take me anywhere, take me anywhere  
Anywhere away with you  
Just take me anywhere, take me anywhere  
Anywhere away with you_**

"So tight." She groans as she sinks deeper and deeper with every thrust.

"Fuck, Arizona." Her fingers curling inside of me, all breath leaves my body and I respond immediately to her movements. Fresh arousal pooling between my legs, I'm not entirely sure how much longer I can keep this up. I'm not sure I can hold out as long as I want to.

"Mm, you squeeze me so good." She smiles against the side of my neck as she strokes my walls.

"Baby, please…" I pant, my stomach tightening. "I need you."

"You have me." She whispers. "You'll always have me…"

 ** _Truth comes out when we're blacking out  
Looking for connection in a crowd of empty faces, empty faces  
Your secrets are the only thing I'm craving now  
The good, and the bad, let me in  
'Cause I can take it, I can take it_**

You're painting me a dream that I  
Wanna belong, yeah, wanna belong, yeah

Her pace picking up, my body drops a little lower and she is taking me just how she knows I love it. Just how she knows I always want to be taken by her. We're so in sync and I love that about us. I love _everything_ about us. "Y-Yes." My body jolts forward a little as she slams into me. "Fuck, don't stop."

"I love you, Eliza Minnick." Her words causing something inside of me to totally change how I'm feeling right now, I close my eyes and just be. I close my eyes and truly feel her. Everything she is giving me. Everything we are. "And I'll never stop anything that we have going on. Never."

 ** _Over the hills and far away  
A million miles from L.A  
Just anywhere away with you  
I know we've got to get away  
Someplace where no one knows our name  
We'll find the start to something new  
Just take me anywhere, take me anywhere  
Anywhere away with you  
Just take me anywhere, take me anywhere  
Anywhere away with you_**

My body nearing the edge, I press my fingertips against my throbbing clit and the moan that escapes my mouth only spurs my fiancé on. "So close…" I speak, barely above a whisper. "Fuck, I-I." My own words cut off when that intense sensation heightens throughout my entire body, Arizona recognizes my reaction and weaves her hand around my body. Her hand connecting with my own, our fingers lace together and the pressure against my clit only increases.

"Come for me, beautiful." She forces her body harder against my own.

"O-Oh, y-yes…oh god." My body stiffening, she doesn't let up. She doesn't stop. She continues to give me exactly what I want and need. Exactly what she needs, too.

 ** _Take me anywhere  
Oh, anywhere  
Anywhere away with you  
Take me anywhere_**

Over the hills and far away  
A million miles from L.A  
Just anywhere away with you  
I know we've got to get away  
Someplace where no one knows our name  
We'll find the start to something new  
Just take me anywhere, take me anywhere  
Anywhere away with you  
Just take me anywhere, take me anywhere  
Anywhere away with you

Her movements slowing, my body melts into the couch and she drops her own down against my back. "God, I love you." She breathes out, her own chest heaving. "And I cannot wait for you to become my wife."

"That day cannot come quick enough for me," I admit. "I can't wait to be officially yours, Arizona."

"Eliza…" She smiles as she turns me around. "You've always been officially mine. We just had to find each other." Her lips pressing against my own, she pulls me up to my feet and wraps her arms around my waist. "How about we continue this elsewhere?"

"Sounds perfect to me."

* * *

Waking in a tangle of arms and legs with my fiancé, I smile and stretch my body out as best as I can. Tomorrow is my birthday and yeah…I'm definitely feeling older this morning. I know that is because of the hot sex we had last night, but I'm aching, and that is never a good sign. I never used to ache. I never used to wake feeling like I'd run a marathon. I guess times are changing, huh? Glancing out of the window, the weather doesn't look so bad today, and thankfully…it's Saturday. If we don't want to do anything, we don't have to. Maybe I'll suggest dinner for Arizona and I tomorrow night for my birthday. I mean, I'm not overly concerned about my birthday, but it would be nice to actually spend it with someone. That someone being the woman that I love.

Slowly unraveling myself from her body, she tightens her grip on my waist and I smile as I place a kiss on her forehead. "I need coffee…"

"No, you need to stay here and keep me warm." She groans. "Coffee is bad for you."

"Oh, I'll remember that when I offer you one." I laugh. "And if you cover yourself up properly, you won't be cold."

"Baby, please?" She whines as she rolls over and buries her face in my pillow. "Just stay for five more minutes."

"Ugh, fine." I play. "But _you_ are making the coffee."

"Anything you want, honey." I know she is being sarcastic, but I'm now wrapped up in her embrace again so I don't really care. "Any plans for the weekend?" She asks.

"No, not really." I shrug as she rests her head against my chest. "Do you have to work?"

"Kinda." She sighs. "Which is a shame since it's your birthday."

"H-How did you know it was my birthday?" I furrow my brow.

"I know everything, Eliza." She shakes her head and rolls her eyes. "Where you ever going to tell me?"

"Of course, I was." I nod. "I just don't make a big deal out of it, is all."

"Why not?" She gives me a look of confusion. "Birthdays are there to be celebrated."

"I've just never really had anyone to celebrate them with." She gives me a sad smile but I really don't want or need her sympathy. "I'm fine with that, Arizona. I'm not damaged because I had shitty birthday's."

"And now that we are together…" She narrows her eyes. "Your birthdays will be awesome. I promise."

"You don't have to do that. You don't have to promise me anything. I'm happy with how it is."

"That's kinda tough." She laughs. "Unless you didn't want my gift tomorrow?"

"W-What gift?" I ask. "Like, you actually bought me a gift?"

"Of course, I did." She states. "You are my fiancé and you deserve to be showered with gifts."

"Wow." I breathe out. "I think I'm already the luckiest girl in the world so you should really not buy me any gifts. You are a big enough gift to me."

"That's sweet but nope." She sits up and shakes her head. "First, we are going to share breakfast in bed…and then we are going to prepare ourselves for our flight tomorrow. Then, when you wake in the morning, your gift will be waiting for you."

"Our flight?" I search her face and she simply gives me her gorgeous dimpled smile. "What flight? Where are we going, Arizona."

"We have a wedding to plan, right?"

"We do." I smile. God, I cannot wait to be called her wife. I feel like the day is never going to arrive, but yeah…it's slowly but surely approaching. "But that doesn't explain the flight…"

"Why not plan some more of our wedding from the actual destination?" She raises her eyebrow. "I mean, if you don't feel like a little sun and sand, that's okay…it's only a suggestion."

"Cuba?" My smile widens. "We are headed to Cuba tomorrow?"

"We are, beautiful." She agrees as she runs her thumb across my bottom lip. "If you're up for it?"

"You in a bikini?" I scoff. "I'm always up for that. Always."

"Perfect." Straddling my legs, she leans her body into mine and places a soft kiss on my lips. "I love you, Eliza."

"Mm…" I run my tongue across her bottom lip. "I love you, too." This woman makes me absolutely crazy in love, and knowing that I'm headed to Cuba with her for my birthday is amazing. I mean, last year I was drinking in a local Detroit bar, and now? Now, I'm waking up in a multi million dollar condo with the love of my life, and we are about to vacation in Cuba. Our wedding destination. If anyone had told me that my life would be like this sometime last year, I'd have told them they were crazy. Yet here I am…in love, and unbelievably happy.

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.**

 **Song was 'Anywhere' by Rita Ora.**


	76. Chapter 76

**Characters belong to Shonda. The rest is mine.**

* * *

Chapter Seventy-Six

* * *

ARIZONA'S POV

* * *

Creeping through our condo, I feel like a child again. Eliza is still sleeping and I want to get breakfast prepared before she wakes. Today is her 26th birthday and I feel like I'm going to be more excited than her. I do love a birthday, but sometimes I have to remember that it isn't my day. I think it's the gift giving. I just love showering people with gifts. Eliza more so than anyone else, of course. I mean, birthdays are important days, right? It's the day she was brought into this world and I'm the one who gets to love her with everything I have. You know, since the woman who actually gave birth to her doesn't want to know. _Oh god, what if she doesn't want to celebrate because of her mom?_ What if she doesn't want to celebrate and I'm getting carried away and going to ruin it? I mean, it's perfectly possible. Maybe I should wake her first. Maybe I should get a feel for her mood before diving head first into something she doesn't want. So long as she is okay, this day can go however she would like it to go.

Heading back towards our bedroom, I find her still sleeping and god, I could stand here watching her forever. She has to be the most perfect sleeper I've ever known, and it makes me feel calmer than I've ever felt in my entire life. Slowly climbing onto our bed, I slip back under the covers and wrap my arm around her waist. "Wake up, the most beautiful birthday girl in the world…" My breath washing over the side of her face, a small smile creeps onto her face and she pulls me in a little closer.

"Mm, good morning." She stretches her body a little. "You left…"

"But I'm back." I smile as she pulls me into a kiss. "Do you feel older?"

"Well…" She clears her throat. "My body certainly does, but that could be with last night's antics."

"Don't blame me for your aches and pains. That all comes with age, baby."

"Mm...and it also comes from being in a relationship with you." She smirks. "You've no idea how amazing it feels to wake up to the woman you love on your birthday."

"Good, huh?"

"Incredible." She smiles. "Birthdays were never my thing. Nothing good ever happened, but now?" She closes her eyes as my thumb runs across her cheek. "Now…I cannot wait to have more birthdays with you. All of this…all of the kissing and holding. Loving. I feel like my birthday is every day."

"Wow." I breathe out. "I didn't think it meant that much to you if I'm being totally honest."

"It didn't…but it does now." She gives me the most adorable smile. "It means everything because I'm sharing my day with you. My gorgeous fiancé."

"Just think…next time your birthday comes around, we will be married."

"God, I know." She shakes her head in what I can only assume to be disbelief. "And I've never received a vacation to Cuba as a gift, either. Whether it is for wedding prep or not."

"Oh, beautiful…" I scoff. "There is so much more to come today." Rolling off of her, she sits up on her elbows and raises her eyebrow. "Relax…I'm allowed to spoil you today. It's your birthday."

"Oh, Arizona." She closes her eyes. "What did you do?"

"Why don't you get that incredible ass out of bed, and you will see?"

"I think this is going to be the best birthday ever!"

"Every birthday should be the best ever." I give her a sad smile. "And as of today, every future one _will_ be amazing. Stick me with, gorgeous. I'll give you the freaking world." Disappearing down the hallway, I head out into the kitchen and Eliza follows behind me in nothing but a pair of panties. "Now, isn't it a good thing I hadn't invited anyone over this morning?"

"Yeah." She nods as she adds a little sway to her hips and finally reaches the kitchen. "Whoa." Glancing around at the numerous flower arrangements I had delivered earlier this morning, her eyes bulge and a smile creeps onto her face. "These are beautiful."

"Beautiful flowers for a beautiful woman." I shrug as I close the distance between us and hand her a cup of coffee. "Take a seat." The fire lit, her soft skin is warm to the touch as I place my hand on the small of her back. "I have a few more things for you…" Pulling some bags from behind the counter, her eyes land on a familiar name and she smiles. "I've watched you eye them up for over a week…and I know you were thinking about buying them."

"The heels…" She smirks as she opens the box and finds a pair of incredibly sexy heels in front of her. "They look just as good now as they did when I saw them."

"Mm...I won't tell you what I think of them." Closing my eyes and biting down on my lip, she giggles and shakes her head. "But maybe one day I will _show_ you what I think of them."

"Oh, I'm sure you will." She agrees. "Thank you, Arizona."

"I wouldn't advise wearing them to the airport today, though." I shake my head. "Figured we'd take the car there and you are driving."

"W-Why?" She stutters.

"Because the birthday girl _always_ has control of the Ferrari on her special day," I state. "And I cannot be bothered driving."

"Oh, so I'm your driver for the day?" She scoffs.

"Are you saying you don't want the Ferrari?" I raise an eyebrow.

"Oh, no." She disagrees. "I _want_ the Ferrari."

"Well good." I smile. "Now, how about I get you some breakfast and then we can head off?"

"Our flight isn't until later this afternoon…" She furrows her brow.

"I know, but since we are taking the car…we may as well take it for a drive."

"Sounds good to me." _God, she is going to lose her shit when she sees her own outside._ I know she is. I just hope it works out for the best. I hope to god she doesn't freak out. I think we are past all of that now. At least, I hope we are.

* * *

"Okay, we got everything?" I ask as I grab my keys. "We won't be heading back here before the airport so be sure you have everything you will need."

"Got everything." She nods. "You?"

"Of course, I do." I roll my eyes. "I do this all the time."

"Right." She laughs. "Well, Miss Professional…let's go." Pulling the door open, she heads out onto the landing and drags her luggage behind her. "Definitely the best birthday, ever." Shaking her head as the elevator doors open and she steps inside, she turns around to find me watching her and simply shrugs. "What? It is."

"I'm happy you are enjoying your day." Stepping closer to her, the doors close and I press my lips to her own.

"You know, uh…our luggage isn't going to fit in the car."

"I know." I agree as I stand beside her and my hand comes to rest on her gorgeous ass. "Rich will bring it to the airport later."

"Right. Good idea." Reaching the lobby, we both step out of the elevator and I take my fiancé's hand in my own. "I love you, Arizona."

"I love you, too." Pressing a kiss below her ear, John gives us a wink and I know he has seen what is waiting outside. I raise my eyebrow and he gives me a nod of approval.

"Enjoy your vacation, Ladies." Tipping his hat, we leave our luggage in the designated area and I take Eliza's hand in my own again. Stepping out onto the sidewalk, a group of photographers is being ushered away from the front of the building and I roll my eyes. _Give me a minute's fucking peace!_

"Did you have to call Rich to bring the car around, or?" Furrowing her brow, she glances around and finds no sign of my car. "And whoever owns that white one can move it. That's your spot." Shaking her head, she turns back to me and finds me simply smiling, a fresh set of keys in my hand and being held between us.

"Move it then." I shrug. "Since it's in _my_ spot."

"What?" She gives me a look of complete confusion. "You had it sprayed?"

"Oh, no." I shake my head. "I _love_ the white one, but I figured we should have one of each, so?"

"Okay, you've lost me…" She holds up her hands. "What the hell is going on?"

"Happy Birthday, Eliza." Throwing her the keys, I round the back of the car and check it out. "Impressive." Nodding to myself, she is still on the sidewalk, her jaw almost hitting the floor.

"I-I, uh…" Her eyes widening when she registers what is actually happening, her breath catches in her throat and she moves closer to it, her fingertips grazing the paintwork. "T-This is mine?"

"Well, it ain't mine." I smile. "I didn't know what to buy you, so I figured a car was just as good as anything else."

"A car?" She laughs. "A car, yes…but a fucking Ferrari?"

"It has four wheels...it's a car." I deadpan. "Now, are you going to unlock this thing so I can check out the interior?" The vehicle bleeping, I pull the door open and slip inside. _God, it feels so good._ Just like mine. Sure, I can afford this kind of stuff…but I didn't buy them for the sake of it. I bought them because I like how they feel. How they drive. How good the journey is. The driver side door opening, my fiancé joins me inside the car and pulls me in, kissing me with everything she has. I'm a little surprised since we have a crowd around us right now, but I'm not about to stop this. I don't care who sees us. "You like it?" I pull back and drop my hand to her thigh.

"I love it." She whispers against my mouth. "It's amazing. Thank you. Thank you so much, Arizona."

"You deserve it." I rest my forehead on her own. "You deserve everything, Eliza."

"Mm, I don't deserve you, though." She drops her gaze.

"Oh, but you do." I curl my fingers under her chin. "And you know it." Giving me a genuine smile, she fires up the engine and the roar sends a shiver down my spine. I'll never tire of that sound…and I'm beginning to think that my fiancé is thinking the exact same thing. "Show me what you've got, birthday girl."

* * *

Hitting speed down another open road, I glance over at my fiancé and find complete concentration on her face. I know the car kinda scares her, as mine did, but she can handle this. She can handle anything that comes her way. It's simply mind over matter and that's all there is to it. She may be a little scared of the speed, but she is loving this moment. She is loving the feel of this car, and I know I made the right decision. It also helps that she looks super hot in it. Her tight jeans drawing me in, I watch on in delight as she floors the gas pedal and god, I could take her right now. I could take her right this second. "Liking it?"

"Mm…" She narrows her eyes at the road ahead of her. "Something incredibly arousing about the speed, don't you think?"

"Oh, I do." I agree as my eyes trail her body. "Something incredibly arousing about you, too."

"Yeah?" She bites down on her bottom lip as she slows a little. Pulling off of the road, we screech to a halt and she climbs over the console. "How arousing?" Straddling my legs as best as she can, she grinds down in my lap and her lips work the skin of my neck. "Arousing enough for you to fuck the birthday girl?"

"God, yes." My breath catching as she sucks on that spot below my ear, she works her hands beneath my blouse and drags her nails down the skin of my stomach. "Definitely arousing enough." My stomach contracting under her touch, I run my hands up her thighs and grip her ass, pulling her in closer. "You know I'd love nothing more than to fuck you in here…"

"So, do it." She bites down on my bottom lip and tugs a little. "If you think you can handle it, what are you waiting for?"

"Fuck…" My words barely above a whisper, I pop the button on her jeans and slip my hand inside. Her panties soaked, I cup her sex and she gasps against my mouth. "That speed got you a little wet, huh?"

"So wet." She bucks against my hand. "But I was wet for you before we'd even left home…" Running her tongue down my neck, she unbuttons my blouse and sinks her teeth into my shoulder. "I love my birthday gifts, but I need you, Arizona. God, I need you so bad."

"You know, I thought you'd never ask." Pushing her panties to one side, I run two fingers through her dripping folds and she drops her head to my shoulder.

"Oh god." Pushing deep inside of her, she lifts a little and sinks down onto my fingers. "So fucking good." She moans into my ear. "God, I need you to fuck me good…"

"Don't I always?" I smile against her neck. "Don't I always give you exactly what you want."

"Mm, y-you do." She agrees. "You know how to take me better than anyone ever could." Lifting again, she slams down onto my hand and a gasp falls from her mouth. "I love how deep you are." She crushes her lips into my own and I swallow a moan. "How deep you take me…" Her words causing a flood of arousal between my own legs, I squeeze my thighs together and she notices. "Mm, you love how deep you are, too, huh?"

"Y-Yes…" Her thumb brushing my nipple, my eyes close and I simply enjoy every moment of this. How she speaks. How she breathes. How she throbs around my fingers. God, she is so incredibly hot and I don't know how I ever managed to make her my fiancé. The moment she becomes my wife is going to send me off the scale. "Squeezing me so good." I smile against her mouth. "Throbbing."

"Only for you." She groans. "Y-Yes, right there." Her own hips picking up speed, I match every movement and I'm finding it harder to move inside of her. "Fuck, Arizona…"

"You like that, huh?" Slipping a third in, her body tenses but I don't let up. "You wanted this…" I state. "You wanted to be taken hard, right?"

"So hard…" She hisses. "Yes, oh god." Curling my fingers, she rocks against me and I pull my seat back a little. I need a little more room so I can thrust into her better. My pace now picking up, I bring my free hand up to her chest and pinch her nipple through her own shirt. "Ugh, so good." Now bouncing in my lap, fresh arousal coats my hand and I know that my fiancé is close. "F-Fuck, don't stop, I-I…oh god, I'm coming…" Her pace slowing a little, she tries to close her legs around my hand but our position doesn't allow it. "Shit, yes." Her body falling on my own, she writhes against me and I slow my own movements. "O-Oh…" My thumb pressing against her clit, she is barely breathing right now. "Wow…"

"Can every day be your birthday?" I smile against her neck, her head dropping to my shoulder.

"I'd die…" She groans as I slip out of her. "I know I would die."

"Pretty hot way to go, though," I smirk as she pulls back and finds my eyes. Her lips pressing against my own, her body completely relaxes into me and my hand slips from her jeans. Bringing it up to my mouth, I run my tongue up the length of my fingers and groan. "And you taste just as good today as you do every other day…"

"I swear to god." She breathes out, her eyes closing. "I don't know how I'm still here."

"Got to keep you around." I run my thumb across her cheek. "Or I'd be the one who wasn't here."

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always. That's me done for the holidays. Have an amazing time with your families and friends. I'll be back next week. Xxx**


	77. Chapter 77

**Characters belong to Shonda. The rest is mine.**

* * *

Chapter Seventy-Seven

* * *

ELIZA'S POV

* * *

Climbing out of our cab, the sun hits my face and it's a welcome relief from the weather back home. This day has been amazing, and I'm not sure anything or anyone could ever top it. I mean, I got a freaking Ferrari for my birthday. Who can say they have that in their lives? Who can tell me I'm not happy? No one. No one at all. I hoped I'd at least receive a card from my mom, but I'm not surprised that it didn't happen. She's made it perfectly clear that she doesn't want to be in my life, and I came to terms with that a long time ago. I came to terms with that the day I left Detroit to begin my new life in New York. I knew I'd never return. At least, not to live there. I knew that New York was the new start I needed, and what a start it's been. I know we've had our issues and I know we've separated on more than one occasion, but I'm here…in Cuba, and about to prepare our wedding. Most of it is done, but I wanted to check out the venue. I wanted to see what Arizona had planned already. She's been awesome and has included me in everything, but she's seen the venue before…I haven't. I trust her and her ideas, but it's nice to come here and see it all for myself. It will be good to see the layout. You know, imagine it in the place where the magic will happen. I say magic, but that's what it will be. The day I say I do to this woman beside me, it will be the most magical experience I could ever be a part of.

Knowing that she has chosen me to spend the rest of her life with hits me hard sometimes. I've always known who I am as a person, my sexuality, but I never imagined I'd be marrying a multi-millionaire. A multi-millionaire who I love for her, not her money. Sometimes we are so settled and relax at home that I forget how much she has behind her. I forget that she is the super strong businesswoman. To me, my fiancé is simply the woman that I love. To me, she is the beautiful woman I met in a bar, blissfully unaware of who she was. Her name. Her company. Her luxury. That is still who I see. The woman in the bar who had a sadness in her eyes. A loneliness. Money isn't important to either of us, and our close friends and family know that. Her parents know that I love her and everything about her, and they've never once questioned that. They've never once suggested that I'm dating their daughter for any reason other than love…and it's true. I love her so much that my heart feels like it's bursting out of my chest on a daily basis. At one point or another, that's how it feels.

"What do you think?" She takes my hand in her own and pulls me in closer. "Will it be our place? Our wedding venue?"

"Oh yeah." I give her a nod in agreement. "It's beautiful. I love what you've done with this place."

"Good." She has a weird glint in her eye and I don't quite know what to make of it. "Because this place is yours."

"What do you mean…it's mine?" I furrow my brow.

"You own it." She shrugs as the doorman approaches us and gives us a smile. "It's why I bought the place."

"How can I own it?" I laugh. "I don't know the first thing about hotels."

"But you will." She smirks. "This place is going to make you an absolute fortune."

"Arizona, I can't own this place. You should take it back." I shake my head as we head up the steps. "You really should."

"Don't wanna." Releasing me from her grip, she approaches the front desk and the staff all stand to attention. "Relax, guys." She holds up her hands. "I'm not here, remember?"

"Right, yes." One of the guys who looks like he's in management gives the rest of the staff a hard glare. "As you were, people."

"My fiancé, Miss Minnick." She motions for me to join her at the desk. "And your boss."

"Oh, yes…of course, Miss Minnick." He holds out his hand and this feels all kinds of weird. I've never been anyone's boss and I never thought I would be. "Can we get you anything at all?"

"You could direct me to the bar." I smile. "For some reason, I seem to need a drink." Glaring at my fiancé, she rolls her eyes and tugs at my hand.

"It's this way." She laughs. "Have our bags taken to the room, okay?"

"Yes, Ma'am. Right away." Being pulled through the lobby, I'm taken out to a beachfront bar and my breath catches in my throat.

"Holy shit, Arizona. This place is amazing."

"Gorgeous, isn't it?" She glances back and me and smiles. "I knew you'd love it here."

"Will this be a part of our wedding?" I ask, my eyes taking in the gorgeous beach in front of us.

"Reception?" She raises her eyebrow, waiting for my opinion.

"Perfect." I wrap my arm around her waist and she rests her head on my shoulder. "Wanna show me where the ceremony will take place?"

"You're looking at it." She replies, a slight sigh falling from her mouth.

"T-The beach?" My smile widens as she glances up at me. "Wow…"

"If you want that?"

"Yes, I want it. I want everything you are suggesting." My grip tightening, she presses her lips to my own and my eyes close. "I love you, Arizona."

"I love you too, baby." Our foreheads resting against one another's, I can't believe this woman is going to be my wife. I can't believe this is going to be our wedding. I can't believe anything I'm seeing right now. "Will you accept the hotel?" She asks. "I wouldn't leave you to figure it out yourself. I'll be here every step of the way with you."

"Yes." I breathe against her mouth. "You are unbelievable."

"You wouldn't have me any other way, though?" A small smile creeps onto her mouth.

"Never." I shake my head. "You are perfect."

* * *

Settled on my lounger, the sound of the ocean calms me. It calms me and I need this break more than I thought I did. I guess we both do. Sure, I've had more vacations and getaways in the past year than I have in my entire life, but I'm getting used to this. You know, the unexpected trips to exotic places. Watching Arizona in a bikini. Yeah…I'm totally getting used to this. How could I not want to watch her in very little? I mean, she is gorgeous. Even more so when her skin is a little sun-kissed. _God, she makes me crazy._ We've been down at the beach for a couple of hours now, and honestly, we've barely spoken two words to each other. We are just in a comfortable silence, and I love how neither of us ever feel the need to make pointless conversation. She is reading, and I'm sunbathing. It's perfect.

I know we have stuff to figure out here, and I know I'm feeling a little overwhelmed with the plans to marry here, but right now this is okay. Right now, I'm trying not to think about the fact that I've received a Ferrari _and_ a hotel for my twenty-sixth birthday. I mean, the car was huge, but the hotel was close to tipping me right over the edge. How could it not? Like, I don't know _anything_ about hotels. I don't know anything about business or how to run one. I'm an assistant. A damn good one, but an assistant nonetheless. I'm not even entirely sure how I feel about it yet. Kinda like I haven't quite come to terms with it. Yeah…I was shocked. How can I be someone's boss? How can I be that person when just a year ago, I was living at home with my bitch of a mother and feeling completely hopeless where my career was concerned?

Arizona has changed my life, and anyone with eyes can see that, but I don't want this to affect us. I don't want to become the crazy wife who is super busy running a business. One of us will already be that person, so yeah…there doesn't need to be two of us in the relationship like that. I know my fiancé is behind me in whatever I do, but we cannot both allow work to take over our lives. We simply can't.

Glancing to my right, I find my fiancé watching me over the top of her book and I lift my sunglasses from my eyes. "You okay?" I ask, my brow slightly furrowed.

"More than okay…" She sets her book down on her chest and lifts her own sunglasses. "Are you?"

"Pretty relaxed." I smile. "Hard not to be when you are in a place like this, though."

"Mmhmm…so, this is our wedding venue, huh?"

"Oh, I think so." Glancing out at the ocean, it's so quiet. The sound of the waves is the only thing I'm hearing, and I'm not sure I ever want to leave this place. "I think it's perfect."

"I'm happy if you are…"

"I want you to be happy regardless of how I feel, Arizona. This is your day, too." I give her a knowing look and she sits forward on her lounger.

"I know that, and I'm beyond happy, Eliza. Don't ever worry about how I feel. I know this is going to be perfect."

"You think?" My smile widening, I can see my fiancé right now on our wedding day. Looking as gorgeous as ever, and mine. Totally mine. I won't lie, I have thought about it way more than I should have, but when I was growing up, I never imagined _she_ would be who I'm marrying. I never imagined I'd find someone so perfect and so beautiful, both inside and out. I never imagined any of this. The girl from the pits of Detroit. The girl who had nothing. The girl who had to be straight. _Ugh, I cannot believe I ever allowed my mother to rule my life._

"Without a doubt." She takes my hand in her own and swings her legs over the side of her lounger. "Everything about our wedding day will be perfect, Eliza. I don't even have to worry about anything for one second."

"Why so?" I ask, my thumb grazing the soft skin of her hand.

"Because I have you whether we are married or not. I'll always have you." She smiles. "So long as you meet me on this beach at the specified time on the specified date…nothing could ever go wrong."

"Oh, I'll be here." I nod. I know I will. I just hope my fiancé doesn't back out at the last second when she realizes what she is actually doing. I've always thought this was a dream, and if it is…God, I don't ever want to wake up.

"Damn right you will." Leaning in a little closer, she presses her lips to my own and smiles against my mouth. "So, are we going to discuss the fact that you now own this place, or?"

"I was hoping we wouldn't." I laugh. "But if you think we need to, I'm all ears."

"I don't think we _need_ to do anything, beautiful…I was just checking you are okay with my decision? My gift?" _Her gift?_ How can becoming the owner of this place be a gift? I mean, it seems more like a curse than anything else right now.

"Your gift?" I raise an eyebrow. "You actually consider this place a gift?"

"Uh, yeah." She furrows her brow, her hand coming to rest on my thigh. "But you don't?" She sighs. "I just…I wanted you to have something of your own. Something you could make a crapload of money off."

"I love where you are going with this, or already gone, rather…but I don't have a clue about any of this, Arizona. I don't know what is expected of me. The staff here. The day to day running of the place. Like, would I have to leave New York and head out here so many times a month? I just…I don't know what it involves."

"None of that." She shakes her head, a small smile beginning to settle on her gorgeous face. "Your name is on this place. You own this building. Sure, I need you to sign off on some paperwork so it's officially yours, but I want you to have it. I don't need another place in my portfolio, and honestly, I don't plan on adding any more for a long long time."

"Why?" I give her a look of complete confusion. "You're a businesswoman, Arizona."

"And I always will be." She agrees. "I just...I have to concentrate on things other than business right now. I'm about to become your wife, and with that comes a greater responsibility. I don't want to fly in and out of New York like I usually do. I don't want to do all of that whilst my pregnant wife is at home and preparing for our family."

"Y-You remembered…" I breathe out.

"Of course, I remembered." She lifts her hand and runs her thumb across my cheek. "How could I not?"

"I don't know." I shrug. "Just…figured it wasn't being spoken about until everything had worked out with Jo at the office. You know…"

"And I get that…but I haven't forgotten." She gives me a knowing look. "And it _will_ happen." She shifts a little and stands. "Come on…" Pulling me up to my feet, she takes my hand in her own and we head for the water's edge. "You know I want everything with you, Eliza. To do that, though, I need to start to slowly take a step back from who I was before I met you. I need to start lessening my load."

"Arizona, it will be a few years before we have kids." I give her a sad smile.

"Maybe so, but I still want to slow down a little." She shrugs. "I want to have less going on at work, and more going on at home. More going on with you."

"We are barely ever separated."

"I know that, but the trip we took to London has been playing on my mind since we came home. I just…I want more trips with you like that. I want more trips where I'm not checking in on a venue or a project. I want more trips where we can just be. Just you and I."

"You really mean that?" I turn to face her and she stops us on the sand, her arms wrapping around my waist. "You really want more pleasure trips, rather than business trips?"

"So many more." She agrees. "I love what I do, and I always will, but I love you more." _Oh god, I just fell in love with this woman all over again._ "If this place isn't in my name, I won't feel as attached to it. It's beautiful and it was completely designed with everything you are in mind, so please...take it?"

"Okay." I nod.

"I don't want you to feel like this place is your life, and honestly, I don't really want you to do anything…but this is yours. Not mine, yours."

"So, who runs it then?" I furrow my brow.

"My team." She states. " _Our_ team."

"Our team?"

"Mmhmm." Giving me a nod, she presses her lips to my own. "The day you become my wife…is the day when everything I own becomes yours, too."

"You don't have to do that." I shake my head. "I'd never expect that…"

"But that's what will happen, Eliza." She gives me a sad smile. "You don't even have to think about any of it, but it will become yours, too. Think of this place as a start to all of that."

"I-I…"

"Don't think about it." She cuts me off. "It isn't going to affect anything. Not if you don't want it to, anyway. Just be you, okay?"

"I think I just need some time to let this all sink in." I wrap my arms around Arizona's shoulders and she gives me a nod, followed by a smile. "I just want to enjoy this time with you."

"Good thing we want the same thing, huh?"

"Mm, it definitely is." Pulling my fiancé into a kiss, she moans into my mouth and it's all I need to know that this will all work out how it should. I've never wanted her money or her status. I just always wanted her. That will always be enough for me. I guess it does feel kind of nice to know that she trusts me completely, though. I know the bad time she had with women dating her for who she was, but she knows that I'm not one of those women. She knows I don't even think about the business side of her. I only think about her. Us. Our life together. Whether that comes with millions of dollars or ten cent, I'll always want her. Everything else is irrelevant.

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always. I hope each and every one of you had a great Christmas with the ones you love. Xx**


	78. Chapter 78

**Characters belong to Shonda. The rest is mine.**

* * *

Chapter Seventy-Eight

* * *

ARIZONA'S POV

* * *

I did it. I told Eliza how I was feeling in terms of our future. I wasn't sure how she would react if I'm being completely honest, but she certainly reacted better than I thought she would. I mean, the hotel was a shock for her, but she can do this. She can have her name on something. She deserves it. I didn't buy this place for her so I could offload my work, but I do have to lessen my load. I do have to wind things down a little if we can have any sort of future together. At least, one that includes kids. We don't know much about any of that or what it involves, but Eliza knows I'll do everything I can to make it happen when the time comes. She knows I'd give her the world if she would allow me to. I know she doesn't need any of these things, and she doesn't need to feel included, but this is it for me. For the foreseeable, anyway. This place is the last property I will buy until everything else is figured out. _She_ is what matters, and _she_ is who I'll always have by my side. Regardless of my work, or my clients, or my business…so long as my soon to be wife and I can fall into place, the rest can wait. It can wait because if I've learned anything since we met…it's that love is what matters more than anything else. Eliza's love.

Sure, I'll crave doing what I love. You know, what I've spent my life building and perfecting, but there will be time for that in the future. It isn't forever. It's just…for now. I have to focus on us. I've lost her in the past, and I cannot do that again. I cannot go through the heartache and the sleepless nights when she should be by my side. I learned that lesson the hard way. So, I'm done. I'm done with traveling the world on business trips. I'm done with the late nights at the office. I'm done with my professional life. In a sense, anyway. It will always be my baby and it will always be my life, but I have to take a step back, and wow…it's so going to be worth it. Every second I get to spend with my fiancé is worth it.

I've been thinking about these changes for a while now, and it was all only enforced with the arrival of Jo and what she has shown me she can do. Maybe she can totally take over from me and I can work from home occasionally, but I don't want to be the mom who never sees her child. I don't want to be the mom who comes home each day to find my son or daughter already sleeping and I have to watch them dreaming from the door. I don't want that, and I won't allow it to happen. With marriage comes responsibility, and I'm totally ready to face those responsibilities head-on. Head on, and then some. I want to lounge around with my child sleeping on my shoulder. I want to sprawl out on the floor and do the mom things that every mom wants to do. The benefit I have is that it's all totally possible. I'm set for life, financially, and Eliza is, too. Why would I even consider missing out on that stuff because I'm a workaholic? Why would I miss out on first steps and first words because I'm halfway around the world planning interior?

All I want is for Eliza, and for our child to be proud of me. If I don't succeed in that, what's the point in any of this? If I can't be the very best version of myself…I'm wasting my time and I should just pack it all up right here, right now. I promised her the world, and the world she will get. She is the single most important thing to me, and nobody will ruin what we have planned. I'm not sure anyone could ruin it, however hard they tried. In the past, we have let things and people get in the way of us, but ultimately, we've found our way back. Sure, we could have avoided certain situations, but everything happens for a reason, and I believe that whatever we have faced so far has only strengthened us. It's tightened the grip we have on each other. I get it, though. I get that we aren't invincible and things will get in the way of us. The only way to conquer that, though, is to be stronger than those obstacles. I was raised to be strong and independent and I always have been. Seems love makes the strongest of us crazy, though. Love makes us all feel like we aren't good enough at one point or another. I'm not immune from that, and I realized that the moment I met the woman of my dreams.

I just have to be me. If I do that and if I live by what I believe, how can anything possibly go wrong? Sure, I'll be letting go of the one thing I've always known, but look what I'll be gaining. A wife, and one day…a child. Maybe more. No career or business could ever compare to the feeling of being relied on by a tiny human, but I worry that I'm not good enough. What if I mess up? What if I do something wrong? Will Eliza then decide that what we have done is a mistake? It's kept me awake a few times, but when I push it to the back of my mind, I'm okay. I mean, I have to be, right? I can't bring up my concerns about the future or the worries I have about being a mom because it's too late now. It's too late to go back on my word just because I'm scared. I'm better than this, and Eliza knows it. She wouldn't have wanted all of this with me if she didn't. _Stop worrying, Robbins. You've got this._

* * *

So, I did something. Something that I believe is good, but I'm not so sure Eliza will feel the same way. I'd like to believe that I know her well enough to know that I've done the right thing, but I could have gotten this totally wrong. So wrong that she is going to freak out and I'll have messed everything up once again. I found her father. I still can't quite believe it, but he is coming here to Cuba to meet with his daughter for the first time since she was a small child. A very small child. I know he wants to meet her. When I had Teddy look into things, she contacted him and he had seen the announcement of our marriage in the local media. Turns out, he's lived in the US since her mother left him, and he has been trying to contact my fiancé for a number of years now. How do I feel about it? Thrilled. I just don't know if I've done the right thing.

Maybe I'm just overreacting, but I'm sitting here watching my fiancé finish her lunch, and my stomach is turning. It's turning because he is due here in the next hour or so, and she has no idea about any of it. _This was a bad move._ She has never spoken about her hate for her father, and I don't think that is the case at all, but I don't know if its too soon. Maybe I should have prepared her for it. Maybe I should have discussed what I'd done before I had him fly out here to meet his only daughter. She did agree to the prospect of one day finding him and having a relationship with him, but it was only once, and it has never been spoken about since.

Releasing a deep breath as I sit back in my seat, I look out over the ocean and shake my head at my own internal thoughts. I've been silent for too long, and Eliza is going to question me soon. I can feel it. "Food good?"

"Unbelievable." She pushes her plate away and a waiter removes it from our table immediately. Giving him a thankful smile, she leans in a little closer to me and laces our fingers together. "You did good with this place."

"Yeah?" I give her a smile of my own and she nods. "I'm glad you like it."

"Everything you do is amazing, so I'm not surprised." _I hope she still thinks that when her father arrives._

"You know, I actually designed this place with our wedding in mind," I admit. "Then, whenever we come here…we can remember our day all over again."

"You see what I mean?" She sighs as she rests her head on my shoulder. "Amazing."

"No, I just know what I'm doing." I laugh. "I just wanted something that you would love and you would remember. Thank god, it went to plan."

"I'm not sure anything turns out wrong where you are involved." Her grip tightening, I appreciate her reassurance.

"God, I hope you're right." The words falling from my mouth unintentionally, she lifts her head and studies my profile.

"What?"

"N-Nothing." I wave off her comment as I shift in my seat a little. "Did you want to do anything in particular today?"

"Nope." She shrugs. "This is perfect. Maybe catch a little late afternoon sun later?"

"Sure." I agree. _If we are even on speaking terms later._ "Maybe take a nap beforehand?"

"Whatever you want to do." She smiles before leaning in and placing a kiss below my ear. "I love you."

"I love you, too." My conscience getting the better of me, I turn to face her a little better and she furrows her brow. "I just…I need to tell you something."

"O…kay?" _Maybe I should have chosen my words better._ "Is everything okay?"

"I think so, yeah." Clearing my throat, I close my eyes and take a breath. "I just…did you ever think about looking for your father?"

"I did." She drops her gaze and toys with my fingertips.

"And?" I catch her attention.

"I just figured it was best to leave things how they are. You know, how they've always been. At least, how I've always known them."

"Why?" I furrow my brow.

"Because it's been twenty years or so and he probably has a new life. A family of his own. A family that may not even know I exist." She gives me a small smile, her features suddenly changing to one of hurt and sadness. "I don't want to go in there and ruin everything for them. Mom left _him_. I know he wasn't exactly innocent, but she was always a bitch and I'm guessing he'd had enough of her, just like I have."

"So, you are willing to lose out on a relationship with him because he may have another family?" _I know he has another family…but he wants to see her._ "I mean, you'd risk your own happiness for other peoples?"

"I guess so, yeah." She breathes out. "I have everything I need, and that is you, Arizona."

"He wants to see you." I can't keep it from her any longer.

"How would you know if he wants to see me?" She laughs. "He hasn't bothered to try and contact me."

"I found him." I sigh. "I know I shouldn't have gone behind your back and I know it isn't any of my business, but I wanted to find him before we got married."

"Y-You found him?" All color draining from her face, I know I've made a mistake. "H-How? When?"

"Only recently," I admit. "I'm so sorry, Eliza. I just…I thought I was doing the right thing."

"And he wants to see me?" She furrows her brow, unshed tears in her eyes. "It's definitely the right guy?"

"Aleksander Nowak," I state. "Your mom changed your surname when he left."

"Aleksander Nowak." She states. "Wow…"

"Teddy found some records. Well, I asked her to." I admit. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you, but I didn't want to get your hopes up."

"So, really I'm Eliza Nowak?"

"I guess so." I shrug. "But you haven't been for most of your life. You said you came to the US when you were three?"

"Y-Yeah…" She nods. "I don't know where he went, though."

"He's lived in the US for twenty years." I sit forward a little and take her hands in my own. "Do you want to meet him, Eliza?"

"I-I, uh…" I know she is thinking about her answer, but I already know it. I can see it in her eyes. "I do."

"Oh, thank god." I breathe out. _Do I tell her that he is coming here?_ "He _really_ wants to meet you, too."

"Have you spoken to him?"

"I have." I give her a slight nod. "He seems like a great guy."

"Yeah?" A tear slipping down her face, I brush it away with my thumb and give her a sad smile. "He's nice?"

"Well, I think so." I agree. "But he's your father so you can decide on that one."

"He's my father…" She whispers, her eyes closing and her grip on my hands tightening. "I have a dad."

"You do, baby." Pulling her into my arms, she sobs into my chest and all I can do is hold her close. I've done my bit in all of this. The rest is up to them. "There's just one more thing…"

"What?" She pulls back and studies my face.

"When I spoke with him, he was desperate to meet you. You know, since he is in the US? New Jersey, actually…"

"S-So close?" Her eyes widen. "Wow…"

"Not close enough, it seems."

"W-What do you mean?" She asks. "How can New Jersey not be close enough?"

"He's here…"

"He's where?" Her eyes fixed on my own, she shakes her head and I chew the inside of my mouth. "He's in Cuba?"

"I had him flown in this morning."

"Y-You didn't." She shakes her head. "No way."

"I did, and I'm sorry if you're not ready to meet him yet, but he's here. He's in this hotel right now, Eliza."

"Oh god." Placing her hand against her chest, she breathes a few deep breaths and closes her eyes. "He's here…in this hotel…right now?"

"Yes." This discussion has gone better than I thought, but I think I may have put too much on her, too soon. "I can leave when he arrives if you want me to."

"N-No." She shakes her head, a little worry settling in her eyes. "Don't leave me alone."

"Okay." I nod. "But if you want me to, just say the word and I can leave you guys to talk." Settling back in her seat a little, I can almost see her heart beating out of her chest. I know she is nervous and I know she is worried about this meeting, but I know her father wants to see her. I know he wants a relationship with his daughter. My fiancé. My soon to be wife and the mother of my children. My beautiful Eliza. "You okay?"

"Y-Yeah." She releases a deep breath. "I guess so."

"I did this all wrong, didn't I?"

"No." She glances my way. "You have only made me fall in love with you all over again."

"You don't have to pretend if you are mad at me, Eliza." I give her a sad smile. "I'd understand."

"I couldn't ever be mad at you for this." She shakes her head. "You have tried more than anyone else ever could. You care. About me…about us. I'm thankful."

"Promise I haven't messed us up?" I ask.

"No way." She disagrees. "You are the most incredible woman in this world and I cannot wait for my father to know you, as well as me."

"I just want you to have someone other than me." I smile as I lace our fingers. "I want you to have a father in your life."

"Thank you." She pulls me into a strong embrace, her lips finding my own. "Thank you for everything, Arizona."

"Anything that puts a smile on your face." I tilt my head a little and give her a small smile. "You know your happiness matters to me more than anything."

"I know, but you didn't have to do this. You didn't have to spend your time trying to find my father after everything else you have already done for me. For us."

"It was important to me." I glance behind me and find a mirror image of my fiancé heading towards us. "You need someone to walk you down the aisle, after all."

"Yeah?" She raises an eyebrow. "You think he would want to be here for our wedding? Walk me down the aisle?"

"I'd love to." A strong male voice with a hint of Eastern European pulls Eliza away from me and she swallows hard. Giving her a knowing look, I throw her a slight wink and she turns, glancing up at the man standing behind her. I've done some good things for people in my time, but this may have just topped the lot.

"Dad…"

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.**


	79. Chapter 79

**Characters belong to Shonda. The rest is mine.**

* * *

Chapter Seventy-Nine

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ELIZA'S POV

* * *

I don't know what is happening right now, but there is a guy standing in front of me and yeah…he's my father. He's my dad. Mom was right, though. I look a lot like him. It doesn't excuse the fact that she all but disowned me because of my facial features, but he couldn't deny me. No way could he ever deny that I'm his child. What do I do? Do I hug him? Shake his hand? Continue to stand here and glare at him? This has to be the most awkward meeting I've ever had with another human being, but he's warm. I can feel his warmth around me. His calmness. One thing my mother never was, was calm. She was anything but calm. My dad, so far, seems like the total opposite.

"Eliza?" Arizona steps up behind me and places her hand on the small of my back. She's here for reassurance.

"Y-Yeah?" I glance over my shoulder and she gives me a slight nod. _Why is she nodding at me? What does she want me to do?_

"Maybe you could offer your dad a dink?" She lowers her tone and the thought of speaking to him makes my stomach flip. "Or maybe I could?" She senses my nerves and decides to take over. "Aleksandr, can I get you some coffee? Maybe something stronger?"

"Coffee would be wonderful." His smile settles me a little and he pulls out a seat. "Would you mind if I joined you and Arizona?" He looks my way and I simply shake my head. _I'm frozen. This isn't good._ Watching him as he takes a seat opposite me, I have to pull myself together. He is here to see me. I mean, he's flown out to Cuba, so I should be a little less weird, right? "Eliza…" I glance down at him and give him a small smile before dropping back down into my own seat.

"H-How was your flight?" I stutter.

"Very good." He nods as he sits back in his seat. "Your fiancé has been very helpful."

"So, you know who she is?" I ask, trying to ensure that there are no secrets here. "You know I'm gay?"

"I do." He furrows his brow. "I've been looking for you for a long time, Eliza. I was thrilled to see the announcement."

"Yeah?" I try to hide my smile but that ain't happening. How can one parent shun me, and the other be so accepting? "It isn't a problem for you?"

"A problem?" He sits forward and clasps his hands on the table between us. "I don't understand…"

"Never mind." I wave off his comment. "Just…why did you look for me?"

"Because you are my daughter." He clears his throat. "I never wanted to leave you behind."

"I wish you'd taken me with you." My words falling from my mouth before I can process what I've said, I drop my gaze and Arizona returns with drinks for the three of us. "Sorry, I just…it's the truth."

"Your mother wouldn't allow me to." He replies. "She wouldn't even let me see you. So, I moved away." _God, she is such a fucking bitch._ He may have hurt her, and I don't condone what he did, but I shouldn't have been a part of that. I shouldn't have been a weapon that she could use against him to hurt him. "I always hoped I'd find you, Eliza. You were my little girl. You always will be." My eyes filled with unshed tears, I can't even look at him right now.

"I don't remember much," I admit. "I had a picture of you, but she found it. Took it from me. I did keep it a secret for a long time, though."

"How old?" He asks. "I mean, how long did you keep it for?"

"She took it from me when I was twelve." I sigh. "Told me I was never to speak about you again." It hurts to say these things to my dad, but I want honesty to be the most important thing here. I want him to know that I never hated him, and I never blamed him. "I think she destroyed it. I never found it again." Arizona's hand resting over my own beneath the table, she gives it a firm squeeze and I glance up at her, the smallest of smiles curling on my lips. "Did you have a picture of me?"

"I have a lot." He smiles. "But I always carried one of us together, down at a local market."

"Yeah?" My smile widens a little and he takes it from his wallet. "Wow…" Taking it from him, I run my finger over the small picture and Arizona leans in a little closer. "I can see why she hated me."

"Excuse me?" He catches my attention and I glance back up at him. "Why would she hate you?"

"Because I look like you." I sigh. "It's why I had the life from hell when you left."

"I-I…" Shaking his head, his voice trembles and now is the time when I should take this relationship back. Take back what she took from me. From us both. Placing my hand on his own, I shift a little closer to him and I can feel Arizona smiling behind me. "Eliza, if I could do anything differently, I never would have left you with her."

"Dad, it's okay." I shake my head. "She ruined our relationship. Not you."

"Did you ever get my letters?" He asks. "Even one of them?"

"No."

"Birthday cards? Money?" He furrows his brow. "Even when you moved, I sent your mail elsewhere. To a family member. They were never returned to me, so I just assumed you got them but didn't want to respond."

"I never got anything from you, Dad." I give him a sad smile. "But that doesn't surprise me. Mom was awful, and we don't speak anymore."

"When did you part ways?"

"When I moved to New York and met Arizona," I reply. "She followed me there after she had tried to marry me off to some guy in Detroit and it ended in Arizona paying her off to stay away and leave me alone."

"You paid her off?" He switches his gaze to my fiancé. "And she accepted?"

"Oh, she accepted in a heartbeat." She scoffs. "She took it from me quicker than my contractors do."

"Nasty woman." He spits, his emotions getting the better of him. "I don't know how you feel about me, Eliza and I don't know if you even want me around, but I'd like to try. I'd like to be your father. It's important to me."

"I want you in my life." I agree. "I just…I hate what she did to me. To you, too."

"Don't worry about me." He takes both of my hands and squeezes them tight. "You are who matters. You and your wonderful fiancé."

"Oh, this is between you and Eliza." Arizona cuts in. "But I'm so happy that you are here, Aleksander."

"Thank you for taking care of her." He smiles. "It's clear that you are both very happy. I'm not here to disrupt anything."

"We know you're not." Arizona agrees. "Maybe we could share dinner tonight?"

"If that would be okay with you?" He switches his gaze back to me and raises his eyebrow. "I understand you are on vacation so it would be okay if you didn't want that."

"I'd love you to join us for dinner, Dad."

"Perfect." He breathes out, a relief washing over his aging face. "We have a lot to talk about."

"I guess we do." My body relaxing, I could never even begin to thank my fiancé for this. Never. Nothing in the world could make up for this.

* * *

We have been back at our hotel suite for a little while and I'm taking a little time to myself out at our private pool. I'm not pushing Arizona away. I just need a little time to work through all of this in my head. It's been a pretty intense day, so yeah…I just need five to get things in order. Mainly, my life. This morning I didn't have a father, but now I do and we are sharing dinner with him tonight. I think I deserve more than a minute to breathe. You know, to fully realize that this is actually happening. It's kind of gone from one extreme to another in a matter of minutes.

How do I feel about Arizona's actions? Honestly, I've fallen in love with her all over again today. Not only does she care about me and want me to be happy, she wants my family around, too. She wants me to have what she has. Sure, mom left and hasn't looked back, but look what I've gained today? Look what I've gained because of my fiancé. My father. The man I was pulled away from at the age of three and told never to speak about again. The man who raised me until mom kicked him out. The man who played a massive part in bringing me into this world. I've never hated him, and I've never wished him any hardship, but I did always wonder if he was happy to not be in my life. You know, when I discovered the way my mother behaved, I wondered if he expected me to turn out the same way.

That thought was always in the back of my mind, but there wasn't anything I could do about it. I didn't even remember his name. I didn't have anything to remember him by except for a picture which my mom then destroyed. I hate knowing that she intentionally kept him from me, but I guess she has always known that one day I would discover the truth. Maybe that's why she pushed me away. Maybe she couldn't bear to think about the day I found out she had kept me from him. Who knows? She isn't important right now anyway. She hasn't been since she accepted payment from Arizona. _Good fucking riddance._

Resting my head back, the late afternoon sun warms my face and it relaxes me a little. I know I'm looking forward to tonight's meeting with my father, but the worry is still there in the back of my mind. The idea of finding him and then losing him again has been playing on repeat since he walked into the beach bar around midday. I just feel like I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop, you know? Kinda like it's too good to be true. I guess I'd be okay if he decided he doesn't want me in his life after all, but it would still hurt. That rejection. The idea of not being good enough for both parents.

The sound of the patio door opening slowly, I glance over my shoulder and find Arizona approaching me a little nervously. We haven't really discussed anything that happened today, but I'm really not avoiding her. I'm just processing. "C-Can I join you, or?"

"Or what?" I lift my glasses from my eyes and furrow my brow.

"Or are you mad at me?" She drops her gaze and fidgets with the tassel on the side of her bikini bottoms. "I fully expect it, but can we at least try to talk?"

"I'm not mad at you." I climb from my lounger and close the distance between us. "How could I ever be mad at you?"

"Because I meddled in business that wasn't any of mine to meddle in." She sighs, unable to look at me. "I know you are sitting out here because you don't want to speak to me, but I figured I'd try."

"Arizona, you're not hearing me." I shake my head and take her hand in my own. "I'm not mad. Far from it, actually." Her gorgeous blue eyes finding mine, she studies my face and I give her a genuine smile. Maybe the most genuine I've ever given her. "Thank you." I press a kiss to her lips and her shoulders don't seem so tense anymore. Kinda like my kiss has relaxed her. "Nobody has ever done something like this for me, and I shouldn't be surprised that you did, but I am. I totally am."

"I just wanted to help." She clears her throat and drops down to her own lounger. Pulling me down beside her, I place my hand on her thigh, just above her knee, and give it a slight squeeze. "I wasn't sure how you would react, but it was too late to change any of the plans I'd made with him. When I realized what I'd done…it was too late."

"I'm glad you didn't back out. Both of you." I run my thumb over her knuckles and she simply watches me. "You know, of all the things you have done for me…this, just…I don't even know."

"I just want you to be happy, Eliza." She gives me a small smile. "I know I should have discussed it with you, and I kinda regret that I didn't, but thank you for giving him a chance." She tightens her grip on my hand. "He was so happy to hear from me."

"Yeah?" I raise an eyebrow. I can't imagine how their call went, but I'm glad she could hear the excitement in his voice. She wouldn't have put me through this if she had any doubts about his reaction to me. To us. We have a lot to talk about. Catch up on. I just want him to love me for me, though. For who I am. Something my mother could never seem to achieve. Although, I'm not sure she ever had it inside of her. You know, the mothers love that people talk about. Our kids will be loved unconditionally, though. That, I know for sure.

"Oh god, I wish you could have heard his voice. He just…he's missed you. I know he has." She pulls me into a hug and turns her head a little, her breath washing over my ear. "You know I would tackle the world for you, Eliza. Don't ever forget that."

"I love you." My voice breaking when the realization hits me fully, she runs her hand down my back and I release a deep breath. "I know I don't tell you enough, but I do. I love you more than anything in this world."

"You tell me plenty." Her voice holding a slight hint of perkiness, she pulls back and tilts her head a little. "You deserve everything this world has to offer, beautiful…and we are so going to get it. Every last piece of it."

"This has been one hell of a birthday trip." I breathe out. "Crazy." I mean, I know she does things full on, but surely there isn't anything left for her to give me that I haven't already got. I mean, she is the most important thing in my life so everything else is irrelevant in some weird way, but really…what else can she possibly bring to the table?

"Isn't crazy my middle name?" She raises an eyebrow. "Thought you knew me well enough by now to know that I don't do things by halves." Pressing her lips to my own, I rest my forehead on her own and my entire being is lost in her ocean blue eyes.

"Marry me…" I whisper against her mouth.

"Um…" She wrinkles her nose. "Kind of already am."

"No, I'm asking _you_ this time." I smile. "Arizona Robbins, be my wife…" Her dimples popping, she simply nods and brings her hands up to my face. "Forever, though. From this moment. Right now. Vows or none. Official papers…they don't matter. Just…forever."

"Forever." She smiles. "Forever, Eliza."

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews and welcome and appreciated.**


	80. Chapter 80

**Characters belong to Shonda. The rest is mine.**

* * *

Chapter Eighty

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ARIZONA'S POV

* * *

I totally didn't see Eliza meeting with her father as a good thing. Sure, I hoped it would be, but she is so quiet about him and the fact that they parted that I wasn't sure anything good _could_ come of it. I just had a bad feeling that I'd done the wrong thing. Thankfully, I'm in the clear. Thankfully, we are still together and she hasn't told me what an asshole I am. I expected that. I expected to be told it's none of my business and I ought to keep my nose out. I would have understood should it have played out that way, and I'd have taken whatever my fiancé could have thrown at me, but it worked out for the best. Eliza has her father in her life, and I couldn't wish for anything better than this.

I just want this to plan out how I imagined it would in my head. She deserves happiness and a family, and I really need that to be what happens here. Anything less and I'll feel like I've failed her. Her and her incredibly important life. I mean, I have it all. I know that. My family accepts and supports me. My mom loves me like the world is about to end. My brother, when around, is amazing and my dad? Well, he's just dad. Does as he's told by the mother of his children and doesn't question. He may be a military man, but no amount of training could have ever prepared him for life with my mother. None whatsoever.

Aleksander and I spoke when Teddy first found out a little about him, and I know he has another family. I don't think Eliza will be offended or upset by that, but I hope this new family will welcome my fiancé like I'm wishing they would. He said he has been trying to find Eliza for a long time…I just hope they know she exists. I'd hate for her to get up her hopes only to discover that they know nothing of her. I doubt that will be the case, but I guess time will tell.

Eliza deserves that too. She deserves to have someone who she can call dad. Siblings, too. I know Aleksander remarried and he did hint at other children…I just don't know how many. I don't know how old, or who they are, or what they are like. I'm sure they're wonderful people if they have been raised by him, but I want him to build a relationship with my fiancé before he flaunts what he's created over the past twenty years. The twenty years that Eliza suffered with her mother. That vile nasty woman.

I mean, they may not want a relationship with her, and she may feel the same…but they have to try, right? It makes sense to me, but that's just _my_ opinion. An opinion that doesn't really matter in all of this. An opinion that can be added at a later date, if and when Eliza wants it. For now, though…she has her father here and we are about to join him for dinner. We are about to delve a little deeper, and I hope it doesn't scare either of them off. Nobody knows what the past twenty years have been like for either of them, but they're about to find out. They're about to hear it all for the first time.

Checking myself over in the mirror, I grab my purse from the dresser and head out of our Cuban bedroom. Eliza has been quiet for the past hour or so, but I guess I shouldn't expect anything else. She _is_ happy, I know that much. "You ready to get out of here?"

"I am." She pushes off the frame of the sliding doors that lead to our huge balcony and turns to face me. "You don't mind us having dinner with him, do you?"

"Of course, I don't." Giving her a genuine smile, I hold out my hand and she closes the distance between us. "I can't wait for you guys to get to know each other a little better."

"I don't even know what to say to him, Arizona." She sighs. "Like, hey…how's the weather back in New Jersey?"

"I'm sure it will all fall into place once we sit down with him." Tightening my grip on her hand, I pull her in a little closer and study her face. I can see that she is a little nervous, but I'm with her every step of the way. If it becomes too much, we can call it a night and try again. "You've got this, okay?"

"What if he's decided he doesn't want me in his life and doesn't show?"

"That's not going to happen." I shake my head. "He will be there. He will show."

"God, I hope you're right." She breathes out. "But I guess if this does all fall apart, I haven't really lost anything. I mean, I've never had him, so?"

"Come on." I pull her against me. "Let's head down before that mind of yours gets carried away."

"Sorry, I just…I'm scared, Arizona."

"I know, but I'm here." I run my thumb across her cheek before leaning in and pressing my lips against her own. "I'll always be here for you."

"I love you." She smiles against my mouth. "So much."

"I love you, too."

* * *

We've been seated at the restaurant for a couple of hours now, and Eliza is so much more relaxed than she was earlier. Her father has been absolutely amazing since we arrived here and honestly, I kinda don't want to interrupt the flow they have going right now. _I knew they should have done this alone._ I'm not needed here. I don't need to be a part of this. Not when they are catching up on twenty-three years of life. I'm not about to get up and excuse myself, though, so I'll sip on my wine and continue to be amazed by their interaction.

There hasn't been much talk of the past in terms of him leaving or her mother being Satan, but their conversation is beginning to change a little and I suspect it is about to get deeper. Her father has done well for himself since he moved to the US and it settles me a little. It settles me because I know he isn't here to try and take advantage of Eliza and her new lifestyle. My lifestyle, too. I know I shouldn't think like that, but I didn't expect her mother to be like that, and she was. She would have taken everything I owned given half the chance.

"So, that is how I came to be here." Eliza places her hand over my own and pulls me from my thoughts. Giving him a smile, her father throws me a wink and I don't even know what they have just been talking about. "Kind of amazing, huh?"

"That is quite the love story, yes." He agrees. "Would it be okay for me to tell you about what I have back at home?"

"Of course." My fiancé nods. "I don't expect you've lived your life alone for twenty years, dad."

"No." He smiles. "I haven't."

"So, tell me…" Eliza gets a little more comfortable in her seat and takes her glass of red in her hand.

"Well, I remarried." He clears his throat. "Julianna. She's wonderful." I can see that he is in love with his wife just by the way his eyes lit up at the mention of her name. "We have two children."

"Yeah?" My fiancé's smile grows a little wider and I'm kind of relieved. "H-How old are they?"

"Lauren is about to turn twenty, and Maxi is seventeen." He smiles. "I have a picture if you'd like to see?"

"Yes." Eliza nods, a little excitement in her answer. "I'd love to." Watching as her father nervously removes a picture from his wallet, my fiancé seems way more relaxed than I thought she would be. "This is amazing." She leans into me and gives me an adorable smile.

"It is, baby." I agree, my own smile growing. A photograph being slipped across the table, she takes it in her hands and studies it.

"Wow." She breathes out. "Arizona, look at this?" Shifting her seat a little closer to my own, I focus my eyes on the people pictured in front of me and my breath catches in my throat.

"W-Wow." I try to hide my shock, but I'm not sure I'm doing such a good job. "Your children are beautiful." I clear my throat.

"Julianna has another daughter from a previous marriage but she is rarely home." He states. "It's a complicated relationship between us, but I do try." _Yeah, I'll bet it's complicated._ "She travels a lot but I pretty much raised her."

"I'm so happy that you made a new start." Eliza smiles. "It's good that one of us did." She nods.

"They know of you." He takes her hand in his own as she hands the picture back. "I've never hidden you…"

"Really?" She raises her eyebrow. "T-They know who I am?"

"They do."

"And do, um…I mean, you know?" She drops her gaze and tugs at her fingers.

"They want to be a part of your life, too." Her head shooting back up, she glances at her father and then to me. _I don't even know how to feel about any of this anymore._ "Lauren actually tried to find you with me, but we didn't have much luck."

"She did?" Her gorgeous green eyes finding my own, I give her a smile but I'm struggling right now. I'm struggling because the mother of her half-brother and sister is known to me. Not overly well, but still...well enough. I don't know if she is aware of our relationship, or if she has seen the media, but if she has…she has kept Eliza from her father, and that doesn't sit well with me. It doesn't sit well with me at all. "Arizona, this is unbelievable. I have a family. Well, I will soon."

"You will." I agree. "And I'm so happy for the both of you."

"Can you both excuse me while I use the bathroom?" She squeezes my hand before she stands. "I'll just be a moment."

"Of course." Her father nods. Watching her walk away, I think over my next question in my head and there is no other way to go about it. It really is as simple as coming out and saying it.

"How is she?" I ask.

"Who?" Her father's brow furrowed, he leans in a little closer and clasps his hands together on the table between us.

"Your stepdaughter." I clear my throat. "You said the relationship was complicated?"

"It is." He agrees. "It hasn't always been that way, but of late…I'm lucky to get a conversation out of her."

"You know you said you've been looking for Eliza? Well, did you not ever see us in magazines? Online?"

"I can barely use the basic cell phone I have, Arizona." He gives me a sad smile.

"What about Julianna?" I ask. "Does she not see the media?"

"Oh, she does." He laughs. "She always has her cell phone in her hands or her tablet thing."

"Right." I smile, a little unsure of what to say next. "So, she didn't tell you about me then?"

"N-No." He has a look of total confusion on his face and I believe him. "Should she have?"

"Well, I dated... _and_ lived with your stepdaughter for two years, so yeah." I nod. "She should have told you about me."

"You dated Alexis?" _And there it is._ That is all the confirmation I need to know that I haven't got this all wrong. I haven't misheard his wife's name or gotten the wrong woman in the picture. "When?"

"We broke it off a little over eighteen months ago," I state. "Just…don't tell her yet. Don't tell Eliza that the woman who ruined _my_ life is a part of _yours_. Please?"

"Can we meet alone?" He asks. "Tomorrow?"

"No." I shake my head. "I'm not doing this in secret. Let me tell her tonight when we get back to our room. Then we will go from there. Just…let me be the one to tell her. I don't know how she will react so, let me?"

"Okay." He agrees. His behavior changing when he catches sight of his daughter returning, my heart is pounding in my chest and I don't even know where to begin with this conversation. I don't know how to even begin to tell her who her dad has fathered for the best part of twenty years. I really don't.

Smiling when my fiancé drops down into the seat beside me, I try to relax a little but in struggling. I hate that I know what I know and she has no clue. This is going to really mess things up, but I have to tell her. I refuse to keep secrets from the only woman in the world that I care about. I refuse to keep her in the dark, because one-day…she will come face to face with Alexis, and it will come back to bite me in the ass. I know it will. "How long are you here for, dad?"

"A few more days." He smiles, his gaze switching my way. "When do you ladies leave?"

"Good question." She looks my way. "When _do_ we leave?"

"We have some more stuff to do here for the wedding and then we can head back to New York." _Or maybe we could just stay here and change our names._ It seems like the better option right now. "We can stay as long as you want to, though."

"Did you want to join us at the beach tomorrow?" She asks her father. "'If you don't have any plans…"

"I don't have any plans, but I don't want to interrupt anything you ladies have going on." He gives her a sad smile. "You have a lot to get through."

"Nothing that you can't be around for." She shrugs. "Think about it, okay? I mean, I want you _all_ here for the wedding…"

"Eliza." I cut in. "Let's not get ahead of ourselves."

"You're right." She agrees. "People have jobs and it isn't as simple as just dropping everything." She agrees with me. "But you'll ask them, right?"

"Of course." Aleksander agrees. "I'll call them when I get back to my room." He seems a little hesitant, but I guess he just doesn't want to get her hopes up. He knows I'm about to have a difficult conversation with his daughter, so I think he's just playing it safe. "You know, it's getting late…"

"Yeah, time just disappears, huh?" My fiancé sighs as she sits back in her seat and finishes what is left in her wine glass. "Maybe we could at least grab some coffee tomorrow?"

"I'd like that." He agrees. "If I leave you my cell number, you could call me with any arrangements?"

"Sounds good to me." Finishing off at our table, her dad scribbles his number down and hands it to Eliza. "We will call you tomorrow, okay?" Pulling her father into a hug, he glances at me and I give him a slight smile, followed by a nod. A silent agreement between us that we have to fix this. I know he wants her in his life, but this is going to tear Eliza apart. I know it is.

"Thank you for dinner, Arizona." He pulls me into a hug and Eliza watches out interaction.

"My pleasure." I pull back as I clear my throat. "Take care, Aleksander." Stepping back, I straighten myself out a little. "I'll meet you back in our room, okay? I'll let you guys have a minute to yourselves."

"Sure." She nods. "I'll be there in a few."

"Take all the time you need." I smile. _Please, take a long long time._ I need a few minutes to figure out what I'm going to say to her. How best to tell her that her stepsister is Alexis fucking Santiago. The woman who has torn us apart and made our lives hell. _Did she know?_ I'm beginning to think that maybe she did. I mean, something changed between her and Eliza's dad, and it's clearly something serious if she doesn't speak to him anymore. That poor man is completely unaware of the bitch he raised. _God, I hope this doesn't go wrong._

I feel like it may be okay, but the longer I think about…the more I'm dreading the conversation I'm about to have with Eliza. I mean, it's one thing to find out that you have a family, but to find out who that family is? No, nothing good can come from this. Nothing at all. I have to tell her, though. That is certain. I wouldn't ever keep anything from her, especially not this. If it does come back to cause me problems, then so be it. Eliza still deserves to have a father and if Alexis thinks she can ruin that, she is sadly mistaken.

 _Nobody messes with my girl's life. Nobody…_

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always. Hoping for another chapter tonight. You lot up for that?**


	81. Chapter 81

**Characters belong to Shonda. The rest is mine.**

* * *

Chapter Eighty-One

* * *

ELIZA'S POV

* * *

This evening has been amazing. Incredible. Like, when did my life suddenly fall into place so perfectly? I know Arizona is all that matters to me, but to know that I have a family and one that wants to know me? Wow, it's a little hard to take in. Hard because I'm used to having nothing. Nothing in terms of love from my parents, and nothing in terms of material things. Now, though? I have absolutely everything anyone could ever need. Everything anyone could ever wish for. Maybe it will be tough at times, but I'm prepared to face that head-on when it happens. It just feels overwhelming right now, but I know these crazy emotions I have inside of me will settle down soon. Once things calm and I realize what my life now is, it will settle and I will be able to have a family. Just like I've always wanted. Sure, they may not be totally blood-related, and we may have different mom's, but who cares? Who cares about any of that? I don't. I'm just thrilled to know that they want to include me in their lives. Thrilled, and then some.

I know I have to call Jo. Maybe I'll do it when I get back to our room, maybe tomorrow…I just know that I have to. She will be so happy for me, and I feel like someone other than Arizona should know. I mean, I'd happily scream it for the entire world to hear, but Jo is enough right now. _Oh my god…she is going to lose her shit when I tell her._ She has always been the only family I truly had. Her mom took me in when my own couldn't be bothered, and I spend the best part of my teenage years pretending that Jo was my sister. Sure, mom kept us apart at one point, but we never lost touch. A bond like the one we have is hard to break, and thankfully…we didn't allow her to try. We didn't allow her to get close enough.

Stepping out of the elevator, the smile on my face is beginning to hurt. I just can't remove it. Dad and I have just said goodnight for the evening, and now I'm headed back to my gorgeous fiancé. Gorgeous in every sense of the word. This is all her doing. She is the one who makes me feel this way. I know I can't ever repay her for what she has done for me, but I hope that one day she will need me like I've needed her, and I can in some way return the favor. I don't expect it will happen, but she doesn't want praise anyway. She just wants us to both be happy, and right now, I couldn't possibly be any happier. I mean, I'm in Cuba with the love of my life and planning our wedding. Adding my dad to the mix only makes this more unbelievable than it already was. _Crazy, huh?_

Taking my key card from my purse, I swipe it down the door and it immediately grants me access. Knowing that my fiancé is behind the door only makes me want to get inside sooner, but as I close it behind me, I don't find her anywhere. "Arizona?" Moving around our huge apartment like hotel room, I furrow my brow and head for the balcony. "Arizona?"

"S-Sorry." She stands from her seat and clears her throat. "I didn't hear you come back."

"That's okay." I press a kiss to her lips and the salty taste alerts me to the fact that she's been crying. "Are you okay?" I pull back and furrow my brow.

"Yeah." She gives me a sad smile. "Just…can I get us a drink?"

"No, not until you tell me what has you so upset."

"I really need to do this with a strong drink." She sighs as she brushes past me and heads for the kitchen. "Scotch?" She raises a bottle and I give her a slight nod. _What the hell is going on?_

"Is everything okay back in New York?" I ask. "Your mom okay?"

"Yeah…everything is fine."

"Okay, so why the tears?" I'm totally confused right now. I mean, everything has been amazing since we got here…and now something has changed. I did wonder why she left the table so quickly and offered to meet me back here, but I don't have any explanation for that.

"Sit down, Eliza." She approaches me with two glasses and I follow her back out onto the balcony. "Just…I need you to listen to me."

"O…kay." I furrow my brow and drop down into my seat, kicking off my heels as I do. "You're freaking me out now."

"Yeah, I'm not surprised. I just don't even know how to tell you this." Running her fingers through her hair, she rests her head in her hands and sighs. "Your dad said his wife had a daughter from a previous marriage?"

"So?" I shrug. "Makes sense since I'm from a previous marriage."

"No, I'm not saying it's wrong or whatever. I just…I know who it is." She replies. "I know his stepdaughter."

"Yeah?" I smile. "Is she nice? Will I like her?"

"No." She shakes her head, a slight laugh falling from her mouth. "No, you _don't_ like her." _Huh? How can I have an opinion on her when I've never met her?_

"Okay, you've lost me." I set my drink down and hold up my hands. "How do you know his daughter? Have you worked with her?"

"Yeah, but there's more to it than that."

"Let me guess…you dated her?" I roll my eyes playfully but there is complete heartbreak in her eyes. "Arizona?"

"I-It's, uh-"

"Spit it out." I sigh. "Just tell me who it is."

"Alexis." My world suddenly passing by me in slow motion, I sink back in my seat and stare at the gorgeous blonde in front of me. The gorgeous blonde who introduced me to my father. "Eliza?"

 _Nothing._

"Baby, please say something?" She removes herself from her seat and drops to her knees in front of me. "I'm so sorry that I messed this all up for you. I just…I don't even know what to say. This is all my fault."

"How?" My words barely above a whisper, I feel like I'm underwater right now. I feel like I'm not even in my own body. Arizona is here, and she is touching me, but everything feels faded. Like, my every sense is dulled. "How do you know?"

"I recognized your dad's wife." She admits. "Julianna. Julianna Santiago."

"You must have it wrong." I shake my head. "She must be someone else."

"She's not, Eliza." She sighs. "I wish she was someone else, but she's not."

"How do you know? How can you be so sure that it's his wife?" I ask.

"Because I asked your father." She takes my hands in her own but my instant reaction is to pull away. "Please don't do that." Her voice breaking, she sits back on her knees. "Please, don't hate me."

"Did you know?" I ask, unaware of the tone of my voice. "Did you know that Alexis was raised by my father?"

"No." She shoots back. "I didn't know any of this."

"How could you not?" I stand and hold up my hands. "How could you not know the dad of the woman you were fucking for two years?"

"This isn't about me, Eliza. Don't push me away." She stands and follows me inside. "Please, you have to believe that I had no idea who he was. I never even met him when we were together. I swear."

"I don't understand how you didn't know?"

"Even if I had met him, which I didn't…why would I have known who he was?" She asks, trying to reason with me. "I didn't know you when I dated her. I didn't even know you existed."

"Yeah." I sigh as I brace myself against the kitchen counter. "You're right."

"I'm so sorry if I've messed everything up for you." She cries. "I thought I was doing the right thing."

"Y-You haven't messed it up." My senses coming back to me, I turn and furrow my brow. "How could you have messed this up?"

"By dating her." She shakes her head. "By dating _you_."

"What?" I give her an incredulous look. "What does that even mean?"

"If neither of you had met me…I wouldn't be a part of this. I wouldn't have caused the rift between you both and you would be living happily with your new family in your life."

"That's not true." I approach her but she backs away from me. "Arizona, you know that's not true." I know I freaked a little when she told me, but this isn't her fault. None of this is her fault. "I just…what am I supposed to do now?"

"What do you mean?" She stops dead in her spot and furrows her brow, tears fresh on her skin.

"I can't meet them. I cant be a part of his life." I shake my head. "It would just mess everything up for them. I'd just be a problem and I'm tired of always being someone's problem. My mom. You. Now my dad and his perfect fucking family."

"No, you wouldn't." She counters. " _She_ is the problem…not you. And you have never been a problem to me. You know that. She is the problem here…"

"Yeah, well tell that to the guy who raised her." I spit. "He doesn't even know me, but he's spent most of her life with her. I mean, he's more her father than he is mine. Even if it's only through marriage."

"You're his blood, Eliza." She gives me a knowing look. " _You_ are his daughter."

"It's not that simple, though, is it?" I shake my head and try to hold back the tears. "It's not as simple as just walking back into his life. I should just quit whilst I'm ahead. I should just leave and go back to New York."

"You don't want that." She sighs. "I know you don't."

"No, I don't. I also don't want that bitch in our lives either."

"So, take him back." She demands. "Take _your_ father back and she can go to hell."

"He loves her, Arizona." I shake my head. "She is his daughter. Not me."

"Don't dare even think that." Arizona moves closer to me and we are both beginning to realize that this isn't about us, not our relationship, anyway. "It may have been over twenty years since you guys saw each other, but he is here for a reason, Eliza. That reason is you."

"I need to think about this." I sigh. "I need to sleep on it, and I need to think about it."

"And that is okay." She nods. "Just don't let him go because of Alexis. Please, don't do that."

"I just…I'm turning in." Dropping my gaze, I give her hand a squeeze and brush past her. I know she is trying to help, and I know she feels bad, but I just need to be in a dark room so I can think. I need to figure out what I'm going to do, and I can't do that with Arizona trying to sway me one way or the other. I need to decide my future for me.

* * *

Waking to bright sunlight, my head is pounding and my fiancé isn't beside me. The sheets cool, she's been gone a while and I can't help but think she is blaming herself for all of this. That isn't the case at all. Last night was a little crazy once I got back to our hotel room, but I'm ready to apologize for how I reacted. How I accused her of knowing. Like, how could she ever know? She's right, she didn't even know me when she was in a relationship with Alexis. I should have thought about what I was saying before I said it. I should have thought hard before I said anything at all.

Climbing from our bed, I pull a tank top over my upper body and head out into the open space my fiancé designed with me in mind. Silence the only sound, I sigh and my heart feels a little heavy. Heavy because of the situation I now find myself in, and heavy for the way I left things last night. _She didn't deserve that._ She was worried and she was hurting, too, and I just took myself out of the situation without reassuring her. I just left her to think and worry alone. That was totally wrong of me.

The balcony doors open, I quietly approach and find my fiancé sitting on a large chair with her knees pulled up to her chest. "Hey…" I place my hand on her shoulder from behind and she jumps a little. "Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you."

"No, you didn't." She clears her throat, emotion evident in her voice. "I was just lost in my own mind."

"Can I sit with you?" I ask as her legs drop.

"I'd like that." She lifts her sunglasses and wipes away a stray tear. Climbing into her lap, she wraps her arm around my waist and sighs. "Are you okay?"

"I don't know." I have to be honest with her, and right now, I don't feel any better than I did last night. Sleep has helped my body, but it hasn't really helped my mind. "Are you?"

"It doesn't matter how I'm feeling." She drops her gaze.

"It does," I state. "I'm sorry for how I spoke to you last night, Arizona. I just…I didn't know what to do with what you had just told me. It's no excuse, but I am sorry."

"You don't have to apologize." She shakes her head. "But we have to be okay, Eliza. No matter what happens, I need us to be okay."

"We will be." I rest my head against her own.

"But we're not right now?" She sighs, her hands trembling a little as I take them in my own. "How can I fix this?"

"There is nothing for you to fix," I reply. "I have to decide what I want to do and that isn't on you, Arizona. You may be able to fix everything else, but this one isn't one of those times."

"Have you thought about what you are going to do?" She asks, uncertainty in her voice.

"Not really."

"You know that you deserve to be in his life, right?"

"Maybe so." I breathe out. "But I can't do that with her in it, too. I can't have her in my life."

"It doesn't sound like she will be." My fiancé admits. "Things seem strained and I can't help but feel like she knows who you are and that is why it's hard for him to contact her. I don't know if I'm right, but it seems a little weird, don't you think?"

"Honestly, I don't know what to think about any of this." I scoff. "Just…nothing is ever easy."

"I get that you are hurting right now, but you have to seriously think about this before you tell him you don't want him in your life." She shifts a little and faces me better. "You have to know what you are doing and I don't want you to make a mistake."

"She's had him, Arizona. I had no one and _she_ had him." I know I sound like a brat right now, but he's my dad. Not hers. He's the reason I was brought into this world…but her? She's someone else's bitch of a child. Not his. "I haven't known him for most of my life and she's grown with him. I just hate it. I fucking hate _her._ "

"Me too, Baby." Her hands a little more relaxed, she places a kiss on my knuckles and sighs. "I want you to know him, Eliza. I want that more than anything."

"I do, too," I admit, my voice breaking. "But she is going to try and ruin it, I know she is."

"You think I'd let that happen?" She raises an eyebrow. "You think I'd let her ruin anything?"

"I know you wouldn't, but it isn't as simple as that." I shake my head. "She already makes me feel like I'm less than her…"

"Hey!" She gives me a knowing look. "You are more than she will ever be. Don't ever think that she is better than you. She is anything but."

"You have to say that." I give her a sad smile.

"No, I don't. It's true, though. You and I both know the real Alexis. Your dad may not, and that's okay, but we do. We know what a heartless, lying bitch she is. That is all that matters."

"You think?"

"I know it's all that matters." She states. "You have to talk about this with him, but Alexis is irrelevant right now. She could never take what you both have."

"What's that?" I furrow my brow.

"Blood." She smiles. "I wouldn't ever base anyone's relationship on DNA, but this time…I'm totally making an exception. She doesn't deserve to have him over you. She doesn't deserve his love if you can't have that just as much. I'm sorry, but _you_ are his daughter, Eliza. She isn't."

"Except she is." I sigh. "He has been there since she was a kid, and I wasn't. I have to either get over it or leave him to his family and we move on from this."

"I don't want you to miss out on any more memories with him because of her, Eliza. I won't let you do that." She sounds pretty certain, but I'm struggling with that right now. I'm struggling to get too close because of Alexis. "What I do need to do, though, is speak to her."

"W-Why?"

"Because I need to know if she knew. I need to know if she had any idea of who you were when she met you for the first time." I appreciate that she wants to get to the bottom of this, but I think Arizona has had enough run-ins with her ex. My stepsister. Whatever the hell she is to us. _God, this is one major headache._ "I know you don't want me to, but I have to…for my own peace of mind."

"Okay." I agree. "Maybe you can call her whilst I'm meeting with dad?"

"If you want to meet him alone, then I will do that." She runs her thumb across my cheek. "If you want me with you, though, just say the words and I can do that. I can be there with you and Alexis can wait."

"No, I think I need to do this part alone." I give her a sad smile. "Everything will be okay, right?"

"Of course, it will." She scoffs. "You're Eliza Minnick, and nobody plays with you."

"You make your call and I'll do what I've got to do." I climb off of Arizona and sigh. "Then we will meet back here and regroup, okay?"

"I like the sound of that." Standing, she pulls me into her arms and presses her lips to my own. "Don't worry. We will figure this all out."

"Promise?" I ask.

"I promised you the world...and I haven't let you down yet."

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.**

 **Next chapter with be both POV.**


	82. Chapter 82

**Characters belong to Shonda. The rest is mine.**

* * *

Chapter Eighty-Two

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ARIZONA'S POV

* * *

Eliza has just left our hotel room to meet with her dad, and I'm sitting on the balcony toying with my cell phone. I don't know what I'm going to say to Alexis, or even if she will pick up my call, but I have to do something. At least, that's how it feels. I'm not offended that Eliza asked if I knew who her father was, but I get it. I mean, her head is a mess right now and I can't even begin to imagine how she must be feeling. I could have lied or kept it from her, but I didn't. I'm not that kind of person, and I'd like to believe if the tables were turned, she would do the same for me. Nobody deserves to be lied to, even if it may seem like the better option. My fiancé deserves the absolute truth, and that is what I gave her. It's just a shame other people can't do the same for her. I genuinely believe that her dad doesn't know anything about Alexis and me, but I can't say the same for her mom. I mean, she always seemed nice whenever I met her, but that doesn't prove anything. Everyone is nice until they're not.

I'm kinda happy that Alexis wasn't in the photograph that Aleksander showed his daughter last night. I can't imagine what her reaction would have been in the restaurant. I'd like to believe that she would have held it in until we were out of the public, but she has so much emotion running through her right now that I can't be certain. I don't know what I'd have done if I was in that situation, so it's hard to gauge my fiancé's reaction. _I don't imagine it would have been good, though._

Scrolling through my contact list, a familiar, yet less talked about name appears on my screen and I hit the detail tab. _Do I really want to do this?_ I can't say I know the answer to my own question, but I believe it's the right thing to do. She gets away with far too much, and I'm sick and tired of it. I'm sick and tired of her messing with people's lives. It's time she is called out on her crap _again_ and I will take great pleasure in doing just that. Hitting call, it rings out until a familiar voice answers. "Hello?"

"Alexis…" I breathe out.

"Didn't think I'd hear from you ever again." She laughs. "What? Do you want more money from me?"

"Oh, please." I scoff. "We both know I'm worth _a lot_ more than you, sweetheart." _Probably around $200m more._ "Where you ever going to tell her?" I ask.

"Tell who what?" She feigns any knowledge of what I'm trying to ask.

"Eliza," I state.

"Ugh, you two are _actually_ still together?" She spits. "Thought you'd have realized she wasn't good enough for you by now."

"Oh, we're still together." I smile. "In Cuba at the moment planning our wedding. She is just discussing it all with her dad down at the bar."

"H-Her what?" She stumbles.

"Her dad. You know, the guy who watched her come into this world?"

"O-Oh." She clears her throat. "That's nice."

"For her, yeah." I agree. "For you? Not so much."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"I know he raised you, Alexis. I know he brought you up. Why...I'll never know, but that was his choice."

"You know nothing." She laughs. "He raised me for a reason, Arizona. He loves my mom and he didn't fucking want her. It's why I fail to understand how you do. You're a smart woman, you should quit while you can."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"He knew she would grow up to be a failure…you should realize that before she takes you for everything you have." _Wow, how can anyone be so heartless?_ It's good that we aren't doing this face to face because I would be behind bars and tried for assault. There are no two ways about it.

"You really think you are above everyone else, don't you?"

"I'm above _your_ pathetic fiancé." She scoffs. "I know that much."

"I'm not even responding to that." I shake my head. "I know the truth about you. I know _exactly_ who you are. Mess with Eliza, and I swear to God I'll lay it all bare, Alexis. Everything I have on you will be on display for the world to see."

"Sure." She sighs. "You have nothing on me."

"Wanna bet?" Teddy never told her about the footage because she caved and agreed to the cash settlement. I always swore I'd never use it, but now may be the time to go back on my word. I don't like the idea of doing so, but this bitch just doesn't back down.

"Do what you want, Arizona. That bitch will not become a part of my family." The certainty in her voice is as clear as day. "I'll be cold in the ground before that ever happens."

"Okay, have it your way." I smile. "Just know that she doesn't want your family, and she doesn't want anything to do with you. She just wants her dad, and she will get exactly that."

"I doubt that."

"If you want daddy to know all about the cocaine-fuelled whore that you really are, then that can totally happen." _I'm giving her one last chance._ She doesn't even deserve that, but I'm not sure she understands just how serious I am about this.

"Oh, honey." She sighs. "You can't use your own past against me. That was your story, remember?"

"I'll remember that when I'm handing over the footage I have to the media." I laugh. "The world will see exactly who you are, Alexis. It won't be a rumour. It won't be speculation. It will be the truth. As plain as day on their screens."

"W-What?" Her voice now more of a screech, I figured that would get her attention.

"Oh, did I forget to tell you about that?"

"A-About what?" She stutters.

"The footage of you fucking your friends in our bed? The cocaine. The alcohol. The hours and hours of sex with women you probably pulled off of the street."

"You're lying…"

"Do you really want to test me on that?" I ask, a smug grin on my face that only I have the pleasure of seeing. "Are you sure you are willing to put everything you have on it?"

"I-I…" Silence. Nothing but silence.

"Mm?"

"Just, uh…leave me alone, Arizona." Her voice breaking, my work here is done. "I don't want anything to do with either of you."

"Right back atcha." I agree. "Leave Eliza alone, Alexis. Let her build a relationship with her father. You have no right whatsoever to keep him from her." _Still silence._ "You may have an issue with me, but she has nothing do with it. She just wants her family, and she _will_ have that. If it takes my _last_ fucking breath from me…she will have that." Ending the call, I drop down into my seat and breathe through my anger. Eliza doesn't need to know the things my ex said about her. She's been through enough.

So long as I know that everything will be okay for her, Alexis can take a running jump off a cliff for all I care. I've been done with that woman for some time, but right now…I'm more than done.

* * *

ELIZA'S POV

I've been sitting with my dad for a little while now, and neither of us has spoken two words to each other. He clearly knows my reasons for meeting with him this morning, but I think he is just as much in shock as I am. I mean, I don't think he knew anything about Alexis and Arizona's relationship, but I still need to know more. I still need to know if he truly couldn't find me. I'd like to believe that he's told me nothing but the complete truth, but I'm beginning to question it. I mean, everyone knows who Arizona is so how did he not know we were together? Like, how did his wife not know? Surely if she knew he was looking for me, she would have told him. I just...I don't understand.

"Eliza…" He glances up at me and I can see the worry in his eyes.

"Yeah?"

"I didn't know." He shakes his head. "I didn't know that my daughter used to date you fiancé."

"I know." I nod. _He said his daughter._ It hurts to hear him refer to Alexis as his daughter, but I can't stop that. I can't pick and choose who his family is. They just are. I have to accept that. "But your wife?"

"I don't know." He sighs. "That is something we have to discuss when I return to New Jersey."

"Do you believe she knew?" I ask. I don't want to cause a rift between his family, but I need to know where he stands with me right now. Like, is he willing to go to bat for me?

"Yes." He breathes out. "She is very involved in her daughter's life, and I believe she knew."

"Okay." I nod. "So, where does that leave things with us?" I grip my coffee cup in my hands and stare at him intently. I can see that he is struggling, but I can't be in any kind of relationship with him if he is in two minds about us. "Look, I'll make this easier for you, Aleksander." I'm using his name so it's easier to detach from him if I need to. "If you believe that it's better for me to walk away right now, I will. If I'm going to become a problem for you or your family…I can leave and never look back."

"I don't want that." He drops his gaze. "I want to be your father, Eliza."

"But your wife tried to hide the fact that she knew who I was from you."

"And that is something we have to discuss." He nods. "It doesn't change anything for me, though. You are still my daughter and I still want to be in your life."

"But how?" I furrow my brow. "How can we have a good healthy relationship when Alexis hates me and your wife doesn't want you to find me?"

"I'm sure she doesn't hate you…" He shakes his head. "She doesn't even know you."

"Oh, she knows me." I laugh. "She knows me better than you think."

"I don't understand."

"No, me neither." I shrug as I sit back in my seat. "She has made our lives hell. Absolute hell."

"No, surely not."

"She ruined Arizona's career," I state. "She went to the media and told awful lies about her. Nobody wanted to work with her again."

"A misunderstanding, no?"

"No." The tone of my voice causes him to really listen. To really study my face. "There was no misunderstanding. She did what she did and I'm beginning to wonder if she did it because she knew who I was."

"I don't know why she would do that."

"Oh, come on." I hold up my hands. "She did it because she doesn't want me in her life. In your life. Your family. She knew it would only be a matter of time before we found each other, and she knew that it would be through Arizona that it happened. So, she tried to split us up. She _did_ split us up."

"I'm sorry she did that to you."

"I'm not." I sit forward a little. "Because I now know exactly what she is like and I now know it's best to avoid her. Avoid her like a disease." It may hurt him to hear this stuff, but it's true. I have my opinion of her and she has never done anything to change that opinion, so I'm sticking with it.

"I don't want to do this anymore." He stands. "I understand that you are hurt by whatever she supposedly did to you and your fiancé, but she is my daughter." He clears his throat. "I raised her and that isn't the child I raised."

"And now I have my answer." I give him a sad smile. "Thank you for looking for me. Thank you for trying to build some sort of relationship with me, but I'm going to leave if it's all the same."

"Eliza, wait!" He stops me from turning to leave. "Just…wait."

"Why?" I furrow my brow. "We have nothing else to say to each other. You have just made it clear that you choose her over my words."

"You have to understand that this is a lot to take in." He sighs. "That I need to go home and discuss all of this."

"You do that." I nod. "But I don't expect a call from you. I mean, she isn't going to admit to anything, so what's the point in you even confronting her?"

"At least let me try?"

"Knock yourself out." I shrug. "I guess blood _isn't_ thicker than water." Turning to leave, I release a deep sigh and try to hold back my emotions. Realising that I'm not quite finished, I glance back to find him watching me. "Just remember that the daughter you took on when you disappeared from my life isn't who you think she is. She isn't the sweet innocent woman she leads you all to believe. Just remember that your _stepdaughter_ made your _actual_ daughter feel worthless when she called me a hooker and a whore. When she told me I could never be anything." Wiping away a tear that has escaped down my face, I shake my head. "I never imagined I'd find you and I never imagined a relationship with you ever again. The idea of having my actual father there to walk to down the aisle on my wedding day was a nice thought, but it's just the same as the rest of my life…a fantasy."

"Eliza…"

"I did make something of myself, though." I laugh. "I mean, this place you are standing in right now? I own it. I freaking own it." His mouth dropping, he glances around and shakes his head in disbelief. "So, go back to New Jersey and tell Alexis that I won. She can have you and she can continue to ruin people's lives. I have the one thing that she will never have… _Arizona_."

"Don't go." He steps a little closer to me.

"I have to." I sigh. "I don't want to do this anymore. I don't want my life to always consist of _your_ daughter. _Your_ precious Alexis. I'm done fighting with her. I have no fight left in me." Stepping back, I hold up my hands. "In five weeks, I'm getting married to Arizona. The only one who will ever be there for me. The only one who truly loves me. I don't need to always feel second best to Alexis. _I_ know the truth. I just hope for your sake, and the sake of your family…you never see her true colors."

"What does that mean?"

"It means that it would tear you apart..." Walking away before I tell him everything, I hit the elevator call button and breathe a sigh of relief when the doors immediately open. I may have gone a little off-key with everything just then, but I had to get it out. I'm sick of that woman thinking she can ruin my life. I'm sick of her thinking that she always has one up on me. So, I'm leaving the game. I'm getting out before someone gets hurt. Before my dad gets hurt. I'll always love him, and I'll always long for a relationship with him, but it's easier this way. It's easier to walk away and let him get on with the life he's been living for twenty-three years without me.

Almost falling out of the elevator, I pound on our hotel room door and Arizona comes rushing out into the corridor. "Hey…" Falling into her arms, the sobs wrack my body, but I'm done. I've said what I had to say, and that's the end of it. The end of any kind of relationship with my dad. "Eliza?" She is literally holding me up right now, but I can't move. I can't stand. I can't breathe. "Come on…" Trying to pull me inside, I somehow find minimal strength in my legs and they start to move.

"I can't, Arizona." My cries causing her to stop dead in the middle of the room, she pulls back a little. "I can't do this with him. With any of them."

"You didn't?" She sighs. "You didn't push him away, did you?"

"I-I had to." I sob. "I'm always going to be second best."

"That's not true." She drops to her knees with me. "He loves you, Eliza."

"Just…not enough." I bury my head in her chest and she tries to console me. "He said he needed to discuss everything with them. Why they kept me from him. Why Alexis did what she did. He doesn't believe me."

"I'm sure that's not true." She runs her thumb across my cheek. "It's just a lot to understand all at once."

"I'm not doing this, Arizona. Thank you for trying but I can't."

"Give it some time?" I can see the pleading in her eyes. "Please? For me?"

"I don't expect a call from him." I shake my head, tears gathering on my jawline. "I don't expect anything from him. She always has an excuse. She always comes out on top."

"Not this time." My fiancé smiles. "She knows about the footage. I've told her to back off or I'm releasing it."

"You wouldn't, though." I laugh. "You wouldn't even release it when she did what she did to you, so why would you release it now?"

"Why do you think?" She presses her lips against my own. "Because I love you."

"That isn't a reason." I shake my head. "You wouldn't do it, and she knows that."

"Oh, she's freaking out. Don't you worry about that."

"I just want to stay here with you right now. I don't care about anything else." I'm emotionally drained and I don't have it in me to even discuss this anymore. I don't have anything left inside. "Please, can we just do that?"

"Whatever you want, beautiful." Pulling me in closer, she wraps her arms around me and I know that I'm safe with her. I know that I'll always be safe with her. "I love you, okay?"

"I love you, too." Pressing a kiss to the top of my head, my eyes close and I just need a moment to relax my body. I need a moment to remind myself why I'm in this hotel room. In Cuba. I'm here to plan the happiest day of my life…and I refuse to allow this trip to turn to shit. My fiancé's cell buzzing in her pocket, she removes it and glances down at the screen.

"It's your dad." She says, her voice soft.

"He's not my dad." I shake my head.

 ** _I need to know that Eliza is okay._**

 ** _Give her some time. Arizona._**

 ** _I don't want to lose her, Arizona. I've only just got her back._**

Glancing down at me, she raises her eyebrow. "What should I do?"

"Don't _do_ anything." She sighs. "I just need this day with you. Just us."

 ** _I'll call you tomorrow._**

Locking her cell, my hand slips beneath her tee and I grip her tight. I don't know what will happen during the rest of our stay in Cuba, but I know that I just need Arizona on my side. I know I've got that, and I'll always have that, but I need her to understand that I'm really done with Alexis. I can't and won't have her in my life.

 _She is all I need. Arizona is all I need._

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.**


	83. Chapter 83

**Characters belong to Shonda. The rest is mine.**

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Chapter Eighty-Three

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ARIZONA'S POV

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My heart is breaking for my fiancé right now. It's been a long long night and honestly, I'm barely even living today. She cried the entire night and once she did finally get some sleep, she tossed and turned. I had to wake her at one point because it was so bad, but she simply fell back asleep in my arms, and I think it was at that point that she finally got a few uninterrupted hours. I just…I hate seeing her like this. I hate seeing her hurt and feeling low. After seeing her so happy and excited about her future, it's disappeared and I'm not sure she will ever truly get back to that place where her father is concerned. I understand that she doesn't want a relationship with Alexis and I don't blame her, but I can't allow my ex to ruin the potential relationship Eliza could have with her dad. I can't allow her to walk away from him because of her. Because of the absolute bitch that she is. I mean, if he can't see that, there is nothing we can do about it…but I don't think Alexis will be bothering her anytime soon. I know I may be getting my hopes up, and Eliza probably doesn't believe a word she says, but I heard the fear in her voice. A fear I've never heard before.

She's always so sure of herself. She's always willing to hurt and put down others if it means her life is great. Well, I'm done with that. I don't care what damage she can possibly do to me…I'm done. Way past done, actually. She may be wealthy and she may be above most people, or at least, so she thinks, but she won't mess with me and my life. I say me because Eliza is my life and I know that this is all because we are together. She hates it. She hates knowing that she lost me forever. Honestly, she lost me way before I met Eliza, but she doesn't see that. She doesn't see the absolute hurt she caused me. She only sees herself, and that is something that will never change. Not in a million freaking years.

I've just called Eliza's dad, and he is meeting me downstairs in the next ten minutes or so. My fiancé is still sleeping, but she doesn't need to be here for this encounter. She doesn't need to hear what I have to say to her father. It may not have been any of my business, but if my ex-relationship is preventing them from building one of their own, then it becomes my business. It becomes my business more so now than ever. I can't be the one who causes all of this, and if Eliza truly does walk away, I'll always blame myself. I'll always believe that this was my doing. I can't allow that. I can't live with the idea that I broke down a relationship before it had even begun.

Grabbing my cell from the kitchen counter, I slowly and quietly slip out of our room and hope to god that I'm doing the right thing. I'm not sure there is a right way to do this right now, but it's all I know. Talking. Fixing things. I've got a pretty good mouth on me when I need to, and now has to be one of those times. It's who I am. Hitting the elevator call button, I step inside and check myself out in the floor to ceiling mirror. _I had these fitted because I knew Eliza would freak on the day of our wedding if she couldn't check herself over one final time._ Smiling to myself at the thought of our wedding day, I know it's going to be perfect. Whether everyone is there or not, _we_ will be there and that is all that matters.

Stepping out into the lobby, I take a right and I find Eliza's dad ready and waiting for me. Honestly, I don't think anyone got much sleep last night and yeah…he's looked better. He looks tormented. He looks broken. I'd say I was surprised, but I'm not. I could see the desperation to be accepted back into his daughter's life. The hope. The love he has for her. It's why I'm here right now trying to fix things whilst she sleeps off the awful feeling she has.

"Aleksander." Holding out my hand, I give his own a firm shake and take a seat facing him. I'm in business mode right now. It's the only way I know how to be when I'm feeling confronted or unsure of a meeting with someone.

"Eliza is not joining us?" He furrows his brow.

"No." I shake my head. "I figured she could sit this one out."

"Okay, but I hoped I'd see her…"

"And I hope that will happen before you return home." I give him a nod in agreement. "Look, I'm here because I want to tell you what _I_ think. It may count for nothing, and it may in some way, but I have to try. I didn't do all of this for nothing."

"I understand that." He gives me a slight smile. "I just don't know where I went wrong."

"Well, you went wrong by instantly dismissing my fiancé's worries about Alexis."

"We aren't going to talk about her." He shakes his head. "She isn't here to defend herself, so we aren't doing that."

"Except we are." I counter. "I'm not here to change your opinion of Alexis, and quite frankly, I couldn't care any less about her than I already do, but you have to understand that she isn't the woman you think she is." I run my fingers through my hair. "Make of that what you will. Take it or leave it, I'm not concerned."

"What did she do?" He asks, his voice a little shaky. "Please, give me some idea…"

"Eliza told you last night." I furrow my brow.

"But I want to hear it from you…" He rests his hands on the table between us and leans in a little closer. "She said some things… "

"I don't want to talk about her." I hold up my hands. "All I know is that Eliza has had it rough, Aleksander. You got out. You moved on and ended up with a beautiful family, and she is happy for you. Don't mistake her words last night for hate or jealousy. She couldn't be any happier for you."

"I should have taken her with me…"

"That isn't what I'm saying." I shake my head. "You know her mom sent her back to Poland?"

"When?"

"When she was fifteen," I state. "She discovered that Eliza was gay…"

"Oh, no." He drops his gaze. "She sent her away."

"To some quack. Conversion therapy. Electric shock therapy." Repeating these words hurt, but he has to understand that she isn't just some woman who grew up and moved on. She had to push through and she had to push through big time. "She came so far and eventually, her mom left. Sure, I had to pay for that, but I'd do it again ten times over."

"She's incredible."

"She is." I smile. "Imagine how much it hurt when your _other_ daughter told her that she was worthless. She could never be with me because she had nothing. Imagine how hard that was for her?"

"I just don't understand why she would behave that way."

"Because she has a problem with me." I sigh. "Eliza never should have been involved in anything that happened. Alexis brought her into it, though. She took her chance and she tried to ruin us."

"I have to talk to her."

"Who?" I furrow my brow.

"Well, both of them. Alexis more so…"

"I spoke to her last night," I admit. "I warned her Aleksander." I give him a hard glare. "She may be your daughter and you may choose to believe her over Eliza, but my fiancé is my life. She is the only one I care about in all of this. Alexis won't ruin her any more than she already has. Well, tried to at least."

"I don't know what I'm supposed to do."

"You have to give Eliza time." I nod. "What you do about Alexis is your own business, but I know your wife has kept you from Eliza. I don't know why, but she knows exactly who I am. She knew exactly where your daughter was."

"None of this makes sense." He shakes his head. "I just…I know I can't lose her, Arizona. You have to believe that I want her in my life."

"I know you do." I give him a sad smile. "And I know deep down that she wants you in hers."

"So, what now?" He asks, like I have the answers to the world's problems. "Do I try to speak to her?"

"I think you should, but she's stubborn." I laugh. "I know that better than anyone."

"I have to try, though." He nods. "Just...I don't think she wants me here anymore."

"She had a bad night. Give her some time and I'll talk to her." I lean in and place my hand over my fiancé's fathers. "It will take time and a lot of trust…but I know she wants you in her life, Aleksander. I need you to do something for me, though?"

"Anything." He breathes out. "You've been incredible, Arizona."

"I need you to talk to Alexis." I raise an eyebrow. "I'm sure you plan to do that anyway, but she has to know that she isn't going to get away with this. She has to know that Eliza isn't going to just walk away. I won't let her."

"I will speak to her." He agrees.

"I don't want you to pick and choose between them both, and I'd never expect you to, but you have to remember that the woman upstairs is _your_ flesh and blood. You have to remember that above all else, she deserves this chance with you. She didn't ask to be left with a mom who hated her. She didn't ask to live with the most basic of things. She made it through though, so if anyone deserves this chance…it's her. It will _always_ be here."

"I know." His voice breaks. "I'm so mad at Julianna and Alexis right now. I just need to fix things with Eliza before I leave. I need to know that we are okay before I go back to New Jersey and attempt to fix this mess."

"She needs you, Aleksander." I stand and he mirrors my actions. "She may not show it, but she does. I do, too."

"Speak to her. Tell her I need to see her, please?"

"Leave it with me." I give his hand a firm shake. "I'll have her call you."

* * *

Stepping out of the elevator, I make my way towards our hotel room with two coffees in my hand. I feel like I said all I needed to say without becoming too involved, but I don't know what Eliza's reaction will be to me meeting with her father. I know I should mind my own business, but I had to do something. Even if it was just to get an idea of how he was feeling. Our meeting went better than I expected it would, but it still could have all been for nothing. My thoughts, my opinions…it could have been useless. Eliza may decide that she still doesn't want to see her dad. She may stand by her decision to avoid all and any contact with him. I wouldn't blame her if that was the choice she made, but I'd be a little saddened by it.

I want her to have her dad around. Especially knowing that he doesn't live far away at all. I mean, it could be amazing for her. She could spend Thanksgiving with him. Christmases. Our children would have more than one grandfather. _Yeah, I've even thought about that._ I want her to have the things I have in my life, and unfortunately, a dad is the one thing I cannot buy her. Swiping my key down the door, I push it open with my hip and head inside our hotel room. I can see my fiancé sitting on the balcony, her sunglasses over her gorgeous eyes, so I head straight for her. The sound of sniffling pulling me closer, I set our coffees down on a nearby table and head out onto the balcony. "Baby?"

"Oh, my god…you're here." Standing, she wraps her arms around my neck and pulls me in impossibly close. "I thought you'd left. I thought you hated me."

"Hated you?" I inhale her scent and it makes me smile a little. "Why would I hate you, and why the hell would I have left?"

"Because I ruined your plans." She cries. "You did all of this for me and I messed it up."

"You didn't mess anything up, Eliza." Pulling back, I run my thumb over her cheek and she leans into my touch. "You have every right to be mad…and worried."

"I freaked on him." She drops her gaze. "He's never going to want to see me again."

"It will all be okay."

"No, it won't." She shakes her head. "I was just so mad at him for loving her and not me. I took it all out on him, and he's done nothing wrong."

"He's okay…"

"I just said things I shouldn't have said." She sighs. "I mean, I meant everything I said. It just wasn't the time or the place to say it. I should have waited and thought about it all first. Wait, how do you know that he's okay?"

"Because I've just met with him," I admit. Her eyes studying my face, I'm not sure how she is feeling right now, but she isn't screaming at me…so that's a good sign, right?

"Why did you meet with him?" She furrows her brow.

"Because I had some things I needed to say to him." I pull her inside and away from the balcony. Dropping down onto the couch, she settles between my legs and I wrap her up in a strong embrace.

"What did you need to say to him?" She asks, her breathing returning to normal and her tears beginning to dry.

"Just…how I felt." I sigh. "How important you are to me and how I won't allow Alexis to ruin this for you."

"She will, though."

"Over my dead body." I scoff. "She's nothing, Eliza. She knows it, too. She knows that I can ruin her in a heartbeat so, please…trust me when I tell you that it will be okay."

"I don't see how it can ever be okay."

"He wants to see you before he leaves." I run my fingers through her hair before placing a kiss on her head. "Before he goes home and calls them all out on their crap."

"That isn't going to happen." She scoffs, her head resting back against my chest. "I'm not that lucky."

"Look at me, Eliza." Lifting up a little, she turns between my legs and barely glances at me. "Eliza…"

"Sorry, I just…I don't know what to do about any of this."

"Well, at least you and your dad have one thing in common." I pull her up my body and she furrows her brow. "He doesn't know what to do, either. Maybe you could both figure it out together?"

"I don't know."

"I'm not begging you or pressuring you, but you deserve to at least talk to him again. He deserves that, too."

"Arizona, he doesn't need me in his life. He has the perfect family…or so he believes." She gives me a sad smile, unshed tears in her eyes. "I don't want to be someone who messes everything up for him. He doesn't deserve that. I don't deserve for him to even know me."

"Please don't say that." My own voice breaks. I hate hearing her talk about herself like she doesn't believe she should have happiness. "He is your dad. You are his daughter. Whether Alexis is in his life or not shouldn't matter. It _doesn't_ matter. She is just a tiny piece of his life. You? You could be huge. You _will_ be huge."

"How?"

"He will _never_ be a part of her wedding. He will _never_ watch her bring grandchildren into the world. She isn't capable of any of those things. She isn't capable of caring about anyone other than herself. He will with you, though." I smile. "He will do those things with you."

"Yeah?" A slight smile curls onto her lips at the realization of what I'm saying. "You think he wants to do that with me?"

"I know he does, beautiful." Pressing a kiss to her lips, she rests her forehead against my own and her gorgeous eyes brighten a little. Not a lot, but enough to satisfy me right now. "He wants to be your dad. Just…give him a chance, okay?"

"Okay." She agrees, a little hesitation in her voice. "If you think it would work out?"

"It isn't about what I think, Eliza." I give her a sad smile. "But if you're asking for my opinion?"

"I am."

"I think you would be a fool to allow Alexis to get in the way of this." I shrug. "I know she has hurt us both in the past, but this is your time, Eliza. This is your time to take back your relationship with your dad and nobody should stand in the way of that. You should _never_ allow anyone to stand in the way of your happiness."

"I love you." She smiles.

"I love you, too." I run my thumb across her bottom lip. "And that is why I can't let you do this. I can't let you allow her to interfere."

"Do you think she believes you about the footage?" She asks, a slight smirk on her face.

"I do think she believes me," I reply. "I've never heard her sound so uncertain or unsure of herself."

"Would you honestly do it? I mean, after everything that went on with you guys, you still chose not to release it."

"I would release it." She shifts and gets a little more comfortable. "I'd release it because this is bigger than me. This is about a relationship that should be built. My business doesn't matter. My name doesn't matter. If I lost respect for releasing that footage, I wouldn't care. If it meant that you had a father, I wouldn't care about anything. I'm tired of her messing everything up, and that isn't going to happen anymore. If my actions result in her downfall…maybe even my own too, then so be it."

"Wow."

"You have to trust me, Eliza." I sigh. "You have to trust that I know what I'm doing."

"I do trust you." She leans up and places a kiss on my lips. "I trust you with my life."

"So, do this. Speak to your dad. Be his daughter."

"You'll be there if I need you, though?" She studies my face, searching for some sort of concrete answer.

"I'll always be there…even when I'm not."

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.**


	84. Chapter 84

**Characters belong to Shonda. The rest is mine.**

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Chapter Eighty-Four

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ELIZA'S POV

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"Fuck, Arizona." My fiancé's fingers sinking deeper with every thrust, my breath catches and my mind is totally on her right now. "Y-Yes, don't stop." God, she works me perfectly. So perfectly that I'm barely hanging on right now. "God, I love you." Pulling her body up my own, she smiles into a kiss and her thigh comes to rest between my legs. I don't know how we have come to be here in this position, but my bikini is thrown across the bedroom and she is making me wetter than ever before.

"Do you have any idea how hot you look with a gorgeous tan?" Her lips trail my neck and my nails dig into her back. "Like you couldn't be any hotter right now." Sucking on that sweet spot below my ear, my entire body trembles beneath her. I needed this. I needed the stress removed from my body, and she is doing exactly that. She is making me feel incredible and all of my worries have disappeared. I don't know how she does it. I don't know how she takes my mind off of everything and leaves just her and I to be as one. "I could make love to you forever."

Placing soft kisses down between my breasts, her tongue runs down my stomach and it instantly tightens. "Oh god…" Taking my bottom lip between my teeth, I bury my head further into the pillow beneath me and smile at the sensations she is creating. "So good…" I groan as she pulls out of me and separates my folds, the tip of her tongue now toying with my throbbing clit. "Shit…" Gripping the back of her head, I force her mouth against me and she hums in appreciation. "R-Right there. Fuck yes."

"What do you need baby?" Her gorgeous blue eyes finding my own, she doesn't lose my gaze as she runs her tongue the length of my sex. "Besides me…" She smirks against my center.

"I-Inside…" I pant as she toys with my entrance, her lips sucking on my swollen clit. "Fuck, I need you inside me right now." My back arching from the bed as she pushes two fingers back inside of me, she grips my thigh and her tongue works me like never before. "O-Oh…" My eyes slam shut as my orgasm approaches faster than I expected. "Fuck, I'm coming. Arizona, yes, oh f-fu-" Cut off as my orgasm crashes through me, my fiancé releases a deep moan as she laps up everything I have.

"God, you taste incredible." Pulling her back up my body, she crushes her lips into my own and I swear I'm euphoric right now. Everything about this morning has been complete euphoria. I may have an entire village of thoughts going on in my head most of the times, but in this moment, life couldn't be any more perfect.

"I love you…" My chest heaving, she runs her thumb across my cheek and gives me an adorable smile.

"I love you, too." My body completely spent, I pull her down against me and I can feel my heart beating out of my chest. "You needed that, huh?"

"Like you couldn't imagine." I breathe out. "You just make me forget."

"I guess sometimes that's all you need…" She smiles. "We can't think about things 24/7."

"I know." I agree, my fingertips ghosting up and down her naked back. "You look beautiful…" I say my thoughts out loud, unintentionally.

"You are super sweet sometimes. You know that, right?"

"Sorry...I was just thinking." I blush. Even after all this time, Arizona _still_ makes me blush. Kinda stupid really. "Did you have any plans for the day?"

"Well, I was hoping to grab your attention for a little while so we could discuss colors for the wedding, but I know you want to meet with your dad. We can just do wedding stuff whenever you are free."

"I'm always free for you." She sits up on her elbows. "Just give me a time, and I'll be there."

"No, you have things to figure out with him. That is more important."

"Arizona…" I give her a knowing look. "I will meet with my dad soon and then I'm all yours. How does that sound?"

"Sounds perfect." She presses a kiss to my lips. "Just hear him out, okay?"

"Well, that was the plan." I roll my eyes playfully. "I know I overreacted the other day, but I'll try to be better about it all."

"I'm not asking you to be better, Eliza. I just want you guys to try to work this all out."

"Yeah, me too." I give her a genuine smile. "Whats meant to be will be."

"Exactly...and you guys are meant to be in each other's lives. I know it." Placing a kiss on the back of my hand, she climbs off of me and slips on a pair of panties. "You should shower, you know?"

"Mm...I know." The wetness between my legs reminding me that we've just had an awesome morning, I climb from the bed and approach my fiancé. "How about you join me?"

"I thought you'd never ask."

* * *

Seated at the beachfront bar, I can't seem to stop my foot from tapping. Yeah, I'm nervous…but I don't know why. I mean, it's not as though I'm meeting my dad for the first time. It's not as though I'm about to lay eyes on his for the first time ever. I had dinner with him only two nights ago. I guess I'm just a little wary. You know, trying to protect myself. I just have to remember that this is hard for him, too, and I'll be sure to apologize for walking out on him the last time we spoke. I shouldn't have done that. In that moment, though, I just didn't know what to do. I felt pressured. Suffocated. I mean, it's one thing to even know Alexis Santiago, but to have her in your life whether you want to or not…that's a whole new level that I'm not ready or prepared for.

"Eliza?" A voice behind me startling me a little, I glance over my shoulder and find my dad rounding the table. "May I sit?" He asks.

"Of course, yeah." Giving him a small smile, my stomach is in knots right now. "Can I get you something to drink?"

"No, thank you." He declines my offer. "I have to leave for the airport soon."

"You're leaving?" I furrow my brow.

"I am." Giving me a slight nod, he sits forward and rests his elbows on the table between us. "I have to go home and discuss this with them."

"Yeah…I guess you do."

"Nothing has changed for me, though. I hope you know that."

"I'm sorry about last time." I drop my gaze. "I just didn't know what to do."

"Understandable." He smiles as he places his hand on my own. "I know you are worried and I know you don't like the idea of all of this, but if I could just have one last chance to be your father, it would mean the world to me."

"I want that," I admit. "But you have to tell her to back off, Dad. I really need you to do that for me."

"And I will." He agrees. "I don't know what will happen when I confront her, but I'm going to do exactly that. I want to know what the hell has been going on with her."

"I don't know if the issue is me, or Arizona, but it was hard. It was awful." I sigh. "She just took an instant dislike to me, and I don't know why." I shrug. "I guess it's because I'm dating Arizona, but it seems like she knew who I was anyway. She knew exactly who I was, and I believe that's why she suddenly showed up in New York."

"She has been very detached from me of late. I just put it down to her work." He replies. "You know, the traveling and whatever else she does."

"Yeah, I can see why you thought it was nothing to worry about." I smile. "I don't want to hate her, but she makes it really hard to have any other feelings towards her. She really does."

"I don't know if it will change anything by speaking with her, but I'll try."

"I just want her to leave us alone, dad. I'm not interested in anything else that she does." I state. "I don't care where she is in the world, so long as she isn't in our life and she isn't in our relationship."

"I'm sorry that she hurt you, Eliza." I can see the guilt in his eyes, but this isn't on him. This is all _her_ doing. "I wish I could have stopped it all."

"Unfortunately, that's just who she is." I give him a sad smile. "That's how she works."

"I'm so angry with her." He shakes his head, his voice breaking. "She was raised better than this. A hell of a lot better."

"I don't doubt that, dad. I don't doubt any of your abilities as a parent. Sometimes, people change."

"I guess you are right." He nods. "But she isn't what is important right now." His eyes telling me that he wants me in his life, I breathe a sigh of relief and sit back in my seat. "I want to be here on your wedding day…" He smiles, a little worry settling on his face. "If you will allow me to be here?"

"Yes." My smile widens a little. "I do want you here."

"You are my family, too, Eliza."

"I know, and that is what I have to focus on." I agree. "I'm trying to let everything else go."

"I have a lot of making up to do, and I don't want to waste any more time."

"Me neither." I shift my seat a little closer to him. "We can do this, right?"

"We can." He smiles. "I've been looking for you for too long to just let you walk away, Eliza. Far too long." Pulling me into a hug, his strong arms envelop me and I feel like I'm home. I feel like he is supposed to be here, regardless of everything else that is happening around us. "I love you, Eliza."

"I love you too, Dad." I'll take whatever time I have left with him right now. Soon he will be gone, and I don't know what the outcome will be when he arrives home in New Jersey. I'm hopeful, but I'm also not stupid. His daughter and wife have kept him from me, so no…I'm not stupid.

* * *

Today has been pleasant to say the least. I spent the morning with my fiancé and then my dad told me he loved me. I mean, I guess I expected to hear it at some point, but hearing it actually fall from his mouth sounded like I never imagined. Everything about it felt perfect. Weird, but perfect. Now sitting on the beach with Arizona, the sun is almost ready to set and I feel like my life has finally come full circle. I don't know how, and I'm not sure I'll ever understand it, but it has. It totally has. We've been sorting through some color schemes for the past hour or so, but I keep getting distracted. Distracted by the crazy thoughts I have going through my mind. How Arizona met me. How she has shown me nothing but complete love. How she proposed and ultimately decided to allow us to one day have a family…and how she found my father. It's hard not to be distracted when you are thinking of all those things. _She's incredible._

Dropping the papers from my hands, I rest back on the beach blanket, propped up on my elbows, crossing my legs at the ankles. The water is so peaceful tonight that I could probably sleep out here and not wake once. Arizona is concentrating on whatever she is looking at, so I'm simply staring right now. Her gorgeous blonde hair is sitting perfectly around her shoulders, and every time there is a slight breeze, I catch the scent of her shampoo. _Yeah, this couldn't be any more perfect than it already is._ Her stunning blue eyes finding mine as she glances over the top of her papers, she drops them a little and gives me a dimpled smile. "What?"

"Nothing." I turn on my side, my head resting in the palm of my hand. "Just watching you."

"Why?" She furrows her brow, a slight smile still on her lips. "Do I have something on me?"

"Nope." I shake my head. "I'm watching you because I want to."

"Oh." She leans forward on her knees and presses her lips to my own. "You love it out here, don't you?"

"I do…but more so because you are here with me." I admit. "I've never liked beaches."

"How can you not like a beach?" She gives me an incredulous look. "It's a freaking beach."

"Mom never took me to the beach." I shrug. "But you have more than made up for my lack of beach experience." I smile. "So, thank you."

"You're welcome." She shifts a little and comes to rest beside me. "Lie back." She demands. Her arm now resting beneath my head. "I've had enough of colors for one day."

"Me too." I sigh. "This is pretty."

"Pretty freaking amazing…" She glances my way and smiles. "I love the colors we get in Cuba. It's like the sky is giving them to us. Only us."

"Yeah?" I narrow my eyes and sky darkens a little, oranges and pinks swirling together. "Maybe the sky is putting on a show just for us." I shrug.

"That would be kind of awesome." Arizona breathes out. "So, everything went okay with your dad?"

"It did." I give her a slight nod in agreement. "I'm going to call him once we get home. Arrange to meet with him in New York."

"I'm so happy for you." She trails her fingertips up and down my upper arm. "Like you couldn't even imagine."

"This was all on you, Arizona." I sit up on my elbow and study her face. Her linen shirt hanging open and showing her white bikini top, her bare stomach is perfectly sun-kissed and I cannot take my eyes off of her. There is something about those blue eyes and tanned skin that just sets my entire body on fire. "You don't know how much this all means to me. Everything. Just…you."

"I'm just here to make you happy." She smiles as I lean in a little closer. "It's all I want for you…happiness."

"And you have more than given me that." I press my lips to her own and she moans into my mouth. "By the way, you look incredibly beautiful this evening."

"Again, you're too sweet." She runs her fingers through my hair and pulls it back out of my face. "Can you believe we are getting married in five weeks? I mean, after everything that has happened…we are here, and still together."

"Stronger than ever," I whisper against her mouth. "So perfect."

"I couldn't agree more." She smiles into a kiss. "You complete me, Eliza."

"And you're going to make me cry soon." I press my forehead against her own and her eyes shine brighter than ever before. "I love you…"

"I love you, too." She runs her thumb across my bottom lip. "Don't ever forget that."

"You think we are in the clear from any more trouble?" I raise my eyebrow. "Honestly?"

"I hope so." She shakes her head. "I really hope so."

"We have so much to do together. Like, I know you have given me more and shown me more of the world in the short time I've known you, but I want to do so much more with you. With our family. You know?"

"I do too, beautiful." She agrees. "And honestly…I cannot wait for it all to happen."

Silence falling between us, the last of the light is quickly fading but we have no plans to move. We have no plans to pack up any of our stuff. This place is ours. Regardless of who is around us…it's ours, and I suspect it always will be. There is something about Cuba that makes me feel at peace. Both in my life…and in myself. It's calming, soothing. Arizona by my side only heightens the feelings I have for this place, but if it wasn't for her, I'd never even know it existed. I'd never have been blessed with this stunning view.

 _I have so much to thank her for…so much._

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.**


	85. Chapter 85

**FLUFF ALERT**

 **Characters belong to Shonda. The rest is mine.**

* * *

Chapter Eighty-Five

* * *

ARIZONA'S POV

* * *

 _Three weeks later…_

"Okay, just get it right." Rolling my eyes, I pinch the bridge of my nose and Jo shifts uncomfortably at the door.

"Miss Robbins, what you are asking for isn't as easy as it sounds." The woman on the other end of the phone sighs.

"Yeah, well I'm tired of your shit. If you can't get it right…I'll go elsewhere." I need this. I need it to be perfect. Our wedding has to be perfect. "Fix it, or I'm out!" Hanging up, I slam my cell on my desk and Jo flinches. "What's up, Jo?" I release a deep breath and glance up at her.

"Uh, maybe I'll come back." She backs up a little. "Give you a few minutes to yourself."

"No, I don't need a few minutes." I smile. "I just wish people would do things like I ask."

"Right, yeah." She clears her throat. "So, you need some good news then?"

"That would be amazing, but I don't think _that_ is going to happen today." I remove my glasses and sit back in my seat. "What have you got for me?"

"217 is complete." She drops down in the seat facing me and hands over the paperwork. "And…304 will be finished by the end of the day."

"You're joking?" I narrow my eyes, her hands lingering on the paperwork a little longer than usual. "You're a freaking genius." I laugh. I feel like I need to hug Eliza's best friend right now but I suspect I may have scared her a little bit with my tone of voice during my phone call. "How did you manage that?"

"Just told them to take their heads out of their asses." She shrugs. _Yep, this woman IS me._ "I hope I didn't overstep…"

"Not at all." I hold up my hands. "Sometimes you have to say it like it is."

"I felt awful about it afterward if that counts for anything?" She raises her eyebrow.

"Not to me." I laugh as I check everything is correct on the papers in front of me. That's two properties completed, and two less for me to think about leading up to our wedding. "This is business, Jo. Nobody gets to where they are by being nice."

"You seem pretty nice, though." She furrows her brow. "Are you the exception, or?"

"Nope." I shake my head as I file the papers away. "I'm just as nasty as the next bastard when it comes to business." There is no use trying to sugar coat this job for her. If she is going to succeed and become one of the best, she has to know what it entails from the get-go. "Look, when I'm not here…I'm me. When I am here, I'm a monster. Remember that."

"Y-Yeah." She clears her throat. "I will." Standing, she straightens out her jacket and turns on her heel. "I'm headed down to finance. Check they've gotten everything right."

"Enjoy." I throw her a wink. "I'm headed out of here soon."

"Anywhere nice?" She asks. "I noticed Eliza wasn't here today…"

"She's taking the day off." I glance up at her best friend. "She isn't feeling too good."

"Oh, she didn't say." She gives me a look of confusion. "Is everything okay with her?" I know her friend cares about her, but Eliza is fine. She's good. She just isn't feeling too healthy today, is all.

"Sniffles." I shrug. "She looked terrible this morning."

"Maybe I'll call her tonight." She suggests. "If that would be okay?"

"Of course, it would be okay." I smile. "Head over and see her if you want?"

"I have too much to do here." She shakes her head. "No use disturbing her, anyway. Bye, Miss Robbins."

"Jo." I give her a knowing look. "How many times do I have to tell you that Arizona is fine?"

"Yeah, I just don't want anyone to think I'm getting special treatment because of my relationship with Eliza." She steps out into the corridor. "I don't like to be the talk of the place." Rolling my eyes, I wave her off and she closes my door behind her. Picking up my cell, I pull up a recent conversation I had with Eliza and hit a new message.

 ** _How are you feeling, beautiful? Anything I can pick up on the way home? Az x_**

 ** _No, thank you. I'm going back to bed. I feel awful. E x_**

 ** _Okay, I'll be home soon to look after you. I love you. Az x_**

 ** _Don't worry about me. I'm okay. I love you, too. E x_**

 ** _Hard not to worry about the woman of my dreams… Az x_**

Setting my cell back down, I finish up with some emails before I leave the office for the rest of the day. It's only a little after midday but I'm not overly busy right now. I'd sooner be at home and available for anything my fiancé may need. _I hate that she is home alone and not feeling good_. She insisted that I work, though. Maybe I'll take the day off tomorrow. I'll see how she is doing in the morning. I don't expect her to work, that's for sure. She needs to get herself better. Why? Because the next two weeks are going to be pretty hectic. I mean, we get married in fifteen days and we both have to have our final wedding dress fittings. I know she is going to look incredible, and every time I think about it…my stomach flips. This wedding is going to be all about her. Sure, I'll be involved too, but she is the one who deserves all of the attention to be on her. Me…I've had enough attention to last me a lifetime.

Hitting a familiar website, I place an order for an arrangement of Eliza's favorite flowers and add it to my account. The same company is providing the flowers for our wedding, so I'll collect them on the way home and check that everything is as it should be. I can't take any more uncertainty with any plans. I really can't. I'm already panicking about one thing, and I really don't need anything else in my headspace right now. Everything else just has to go to plan.

* * *

Stepping into the elevator in the lobby of our condo block, I'm trying to balance a million and one things in my hands right now and I'm not doing a very good job. Since I'm taking the rest of the day off and spending the evening with Eliza, I got us some things we may need. I know when I'm feeling under the weather I like to eat as much crap as I can possibly get in my body, but she may be different. Figured I'd pick up some stuff anyway. It feels a little weird seeing her so down and unwell. She's always so ready and raring to go, but I guess it happens to the best of us. The elevator doors opening, I manage to swipe my key down the door and I push it open with my ass. My heels clicking against the floor, I try to be a little quieter so as not to wake my fiancé. I haven't spoken to her for a few hours so I'm sure she's recovering in bed, but I still don't want to wake her. If she needs to sleep, then that is what she will do.

Setting down a few bags on the kitchen counter, I place the arrangement of flowers I collected down on the dining table and glance around. The place is exactly as I left it this morning and I'm not sure she has even been in the living room. The fire doesn't look like it's been lit, and she always has it lit when she is at home. _My poor baby._ Quietly heading down the hallway that leads to our bedroom, I gently push the door open and find her on her back, her mouth hanging open. _Okay, that's super adorable._ Her nose is red and it looks a little sore, and yeah…she's snoring. Something definitely isn't right with her. That much I can see. Approaching the bed slowly, I slip off my heels and gently climb onto the bed. Pulling Eliza into my arms, she simply wraps her arm around my waist and I brush her hair from her face.

"I think I'm dying…" She whines, her breathing not too great. "And I don't want you to see me like this."

"What?" I furrow my brow. "You are joking right?"

"No." She shakes her head as she nuzzles into my chest. "I look awful." She mumbles. "You won't find me attractive anymore once you've seen me like this. It will be burnt into your mind forever."

"Of course, yeah." I nod. "Guess I should just call the whole wedding thing off, huh?"

"Probably yeah." She sniffles, a slight half-assed laugh rumbling in her throat. "Why are you home?"

"I wanted to be here with you…not at the office." Running my fingers through her hair, she glances up at me, her eyes glazed over. "In case you needed me…"

"I always need you." She coughs. "Sorry."

Waving off her apology, she settles back down against my chest and I hand her a box of tissues. "You should sleep some more." I ghost my hand up and down her back. "The more you sleep, the better you will feel."

"No." She groans. "I need to shower and move and breathe. I just…God, I feel awful." Lifting her body, she immediately drops back down onto the bed. I know she is frustrated, but she should get herself better. "I could use some food, too."

"Now, that is where I come into things." I smile. "I'm your girl if you need food."

"Arizona, I love you and you are beautiful…but you don't cook." Feigning shock, I place my hand on my chest and shake my head. "Sorry, but it's true."

"Yeah, whatever." I roll my eyes. "I know money could never buy me the ability to cook."

"Yeah, that didn't happen." She gives me a small smile. "Maybe I could just order something in?"

"No, you don't need to." I climb from our bed. "I picked you up some chicken and vegetable soup from your favorite store, and I stopped by the bakery on the next block and picked up fresh bread. It's still warm."

"Ugh, I love you." She whines. "Why are you so freaking perfect?"

"Just looking after you…" I shrug. "Now, did you want me to fix you up a bath while I set everything up that you need outside, or?"

"No, I need food first." She sighs as she pulls her tired body from the bed. "But thank you." Heading down the hall, I leave my fiancé to do whatever it is she needs to do. Hitting a button on the controller, I light the fire and set it to its maximum heat. Fixing up the cushions on the couch just how I know she likes them, I drape a fresh blanket over the cool leather and make my way into the kitchen.

The sound of bare feet approaching from our bedroom, I light the stove and prepare my fiancé's soup. "Arizona, wha-" Cut off when she furrows her brow and glances around, a small smile curls onto her lips and she switches her gaze back to me. "Are those flowers for me?"

"Mmhmm…" I nod as I move around the kitchen.

"I love you." Her smile grows wider as she approaches the arrangement and checks it out. "My favorite."

"Your favorite, for my favorite." I'm not even sure that makes sense, but it does in my head. "Get yourself comfortable, your soup shouldn't be too long."

"Let me help…"

"Nope!" I hold up a spoon. "Sit your ass down. I'm in charge here…" Giving her a knowing look, she rolls her eyes and drops down onto the couch. Grabbing some medication from the cupboard, I take whatever I need and hand her a bottle of water. "Take them. They'll make you feel better."

"I don't want to." She shakes her head. "I'll just wait until it passes."

"No, you won't." I laugh. "Because I already know you are going to be a pain in my ass."

"Uh, why?" She sniffles.

"You don't do being unwell too good, do you?" I raise an eyebrow. "Like, you just whine and complain…"

"Yeah." She gives me a small smile. "I just hate being sick." She sighs. "I'll try and pick myself up, though."

"Just take the meds." I hand them over and she gives me a slight nod. "I need my fiancé back…"

"Thank you for coming home to look after me." She smiles. "I'd kiss you, bu-"

"But I'm good for now, thanks." Laughing, I head back to the stove and finish up her soup. As much as I _love_ kissing my fiancé, I can't. What's the use of us both being sick? What would that achieve? "You ready for this?" She gives me a nod and I place it down in front of her. "I'm taking a quick shower and then I'm all yours."

"Thank you." She grips my hand as I'm about to leave her space. "You're perfect."

"Anything for you."

* * *

Waking with my fiancé wrapped up in my arms, I can't believe how incredibly blessed I feel right now. I mean, I know how we got here and I wouldn't change a thing, but I don't understand how lucky I am. I'm a nice person when I'm not at the office, and I care an incredible amount for the people close to me, but she stayed. She loved me and she stayed. Even just watching her now with her tissues around her and her puffy eyes, she is still amazingly beautiful to me. Sure, I can have anything I want in my life, but the one thing I never had was true love. Earth shattering love. Until she walked into my life. Until she glanced at me across a bar counter and appeared by my side.

Imagine if I hadn't brought her back here the night we met. Imagine if I hadn't pursued her and tried to reason with her. I'd be lonely. I'd be lonely and more miserable than ever before. I'd still spend my days working my ass off, but I'd come home alone. With no one here waiting for me. With no one to share dinner with. _Wow._ It's kinda weird how one encounter can change your entire life. Everything you've had. Everything you are. It's amazing to think that one simple request to come back here could change my life so much, but God…I'm so glad I agreed. I'm so glad that I took the chance, even if at the time it was purely in my head as a one night stand. Because it was. I didn't think she would go for me. I didn't think she would ever see me as anything more than that. A one-off. A quick one. A release.

She saw me and I'll be forever grateful to her for that. I know I don't have to be grateful, and I know that I make her just as happy as she makes me, but I'm going to spend the rest of my life with this woman, and I plan on showing her just how much I love her every day. I plan on showing her exactly what she means to me whenever possible. Even if that is just simply with words. She doesn't need or want grand gestures. She just wants love. Love that nobody can ever imagine receiving. I didn't. I didn't imagine I'd be laying here with her like this. I didn't imagine I'd be her coming out story. I certainly didn't imagine I'd marry her. _Shit, I'm marrying her._ Sometimes it's a little hard to digest, but I know what I want and she is exactly that. She is the reason I wake every morning. She is the reason I smile at least a million times a day. She is the reason I come home from work when I'm supposed to instead of spending my entire evening at the office, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

She could have run. She could have listened to her mom and cut me out of her life faster than I appeared in it. She could have done all of that, but she didn't. She didn't because she wanted to live her authentic self, and she wanted to do that with me. Me, and only me. I know that no matter what the future holds for us, we are strong. She won't have her head turned by another woman and she won't simply fall out of love with me. We are too strong for that. Our love will trump anything that is thrown at us. That I know for sure.

Placing a kiss on top of her head, she stirs a little and glances up at me. "Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you."

"What time is it?" She asks, her voice a little hoarse. _God, she's so cute._

"A little after seven." I smile, my fingers running through her hair.

"I'm so sorry, I slept longer than I should have." She tries to sit up but I pull her back down against me. "Arizona…"

"Stay where you are." I wait for her to settle back down. "There is no rush to do anything."

"But you came home to be with me and I've slept most of the day…"

"So?" I shrug. "I'm more than happy lying here like this." I smile as she studies my face. "I was just thinking, anyway."

"About?" She makes herself a little more comfortable.

"You," I state. "Just…everything."

"See." She sighs. "I knew if you saw me like this you would freak and wonder what the hell you are doing with me."

"Oh, come on." I roll my eyes. "You think I'd leave you because you have puffy eyes?"

"You're just not supposed to see me like this." She sighs.

"Well, I was just thinking about how much I love you and how different my life is with you in it." I shrug. "But if you are going to be dramatic about your appearance, we don't have to discuss it." Switching my gaze to the tv, I can see her thinking hard but she can start up the conversation if she wants to. I know she doesn't do illness well, but we all get sick. Unfortunately.

"What were you thinking?" She runs her fingertips beneath my tee and my body shivers.

"Just about how happy I am." I smile. "Even being with you like this. You know, the illness and the bleugh!"

"Mm…" She drops her gaze. "I always knew I'd be happy with you."

"You did?" _I love nights like this._ I love the conversation that just flows so easily. Complete honesty. "How?"

"I don't know." She shrugs. "I could just feel it. When I tried to leave. You know, because of my mom?" Giving her a nod, she toys with the hem of my tee. "You didn't back down. You still tried. You still wanted me in your life when you saw that I had _nothing._ Hard to believe less than a year ago, I was that person. I had five hundred dollars in my account with no idea where my life was going."

"And look at us now…" My smile widens and I can feel my entire heart fill with nothing but absolute love for this woman. "Look at what we've shared together…"

"I know." She agrees, her eyes a little heavy again.

"And I shared your first sick day with you...How adorable."

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.**

 **We can all use a chapter dedicated to pure fluff every once in a whole.**


	86. Chapter 86

**Characters belong to Shonda. The rest is mine.**

* * *

Chapter Eighty-Six

* * *

ELIZA'S POV

* * *

 _The night before our wedding day…_

This has to be the craziest feeling in the world. Not being in a hotel room with Jo, but knowing that when I wake tomorrow…I will become someone's wife. I will become someone's everything. I cannot believe that person is Arizona. I cannot believe that tomorrow is our wedding day. This just all seems like a dream and the more I think about it, my entire relationship has felt like a dream. How can it not? I mean, I'm the classic story, right? Our love is the classic love story. The heartbreak. The devastating backstory. The unbelievable amount of love we share…and the happy ending. The happy ending with the most amazing woman in this world. Arizona freaking Robbins.

I'm sitting on our balcony and I'm staring through the open doors at my wedding dress that is hanging so perfectly. _Fuck me!_ My stomach has been in knots all day, but I can do this. _We_ can do this. It doesn't matter who is here to celebrate our day with is…so long as we are here, that is all that matters. Sure, I'm driving myself crazy right now because I want to see my fiancé but I'm not allowed. _Like we could have any more bad luck in our relationship._ Maybe seeing her before this night is out will have the opposite effect on us. Like, can we actually have any more go wrong in our relationship? I don't believe we can. Taking my cell from the lounger beside me, I glance over at Jo and find her checking out her dress for tomorrow.

 ** _I miss you…_**

Setting my cell to silent, I place it a little under my thigh and out of view. She couldn't stop me from seeing my fiancé if she tried, but I don't need the third degree from her right now. I just want to have some kind of contact with Arizona. I know she will be freaking out, so I just need to know that she is okay. My cell buzzing lightly beneath me, a smile creeps onto my face and I glance down at my screen.

 ** _I miss you, too…_**

 ** _How are you feeling? E x_**

 ** _Honestly, I want to kill Teddy. A x_**

 ** _Why? She isn't trying to make you run, is she? E x_**

 ** _I'd kick her ass if she even suggested it! A x_**

 ** _Mm…my kinda woman. E x_**

 ** _Good thing you're marrying me, huh? A x_**

"Where are your shoes?" Jo pulls me from my thoughts and my heart pounds in my ears. _Fuck! Caught!_ Shoving my cell back underneath me, she gives me a knowing look and I throw back some kind of weird creepy grin.

"What?" I furrow my brow.

"I said where are your shoes?" She leans against the frame of the door, her arms folded over her chest.

"Oh, barefoot." I wave off her question. "Didn't you want to take a walk or something?"

"Why? So you can talk to Arizona?" She raises her eyebrow. "Text sex or whatever it is you ladies do…"

"Ew, we do not do that!" I scoff. "And no, why would I speak to her? I know it's _forbidden_ or whatever."

"Do what you want." Jo shrugs. "I don't care."

"Sure you don't." I laugh. "You're just trying to catch me out and it won't work."

"Uh, I did _just_ catch you." She deadpans. "I told you, I don't care what you do…but you cannot see her." _I knew she was my best friend for a reason._

"Sooo, you won't freak out on me?" I smile. "I just…I miss her, Jo."

"I know you do." She smiles as she drops down on the lounger beside me. "I know how much you love her, too."

"So, FaceTime?" I narrow my eyes.

"Don't push your fucking luck, Lize." Giving me a knowing look, I nod and take my cell from it's hidden spot. "Tomorrow will be here before you know it. You guys can spend the rest of your lives looking at each other then."

"I know." I give her a nod in agreement. "Thanks for being the best friend ever." Taking my cell in my hands, I find a new message sitting on my screen from my fiancé and another smile settles on my face.

 ** _You didn't answer…_**

 ** _Sorry, Jo caught me! Oops. E x_**

 ** _Teddy is oblivious. She's too busy handling ONE final case. A x_**

 ** _You know, I was thinking of giving Jo my gift soon. Well, our gift. E x_**

 ** _Sure. That would be nice. A x_**

 ** _Then I was going to take a walk along the beach…_**

 ** _Yeah? A x_**

 ** _Mmhhmm…_**

 ** _Well, I'm sure you will enjoy it. It will be empty down there now. A x_**

 ** _I know. E x_**

 ** _I was going to stretch my legs at some point, too. I'll be sure to avoid the beach. A x_**

 ** _Yeah, I think that will be best. E x_**

 ** _Enjoy your evening. I love you. A x_**

 ** _I love you, too. E x_**

Locking my cell, I glance up and find Jo watching me. She has one of those weird grins on her face but I don't know what she is thinking. "What?"

"You were totally sex texting just then."

"Um, I wasn't." I furrow my brow.

"I could tell by the smile on your face." She shrugs. "You don't have to hide your weird sex life from me. I know exactly what you guys get up to."

"Jo, we are not discussing my sex life on the eve of my wedding. That's just weird." Shaking my head, I swing my legs over the side of my lounger and stand. "I have something for you."

"Oo, gifts?" She sits upright and studies my face.

"Gift!" I state. "Like, just _one_ thing." I know she doesn't expect anything from me but we both wanted her to know how much we appreciate everything she has done for us. Whether that was accepting Arizona's job offer or being there for me back in Detroit…it all means the world to the both of us. Taking the envelope from the dresser, I head back out onto the balcony and hand it over. "It's from the both of us…"

"Thank you." She furrows her brow. "You really didn't have to give me a gift, though. You are my best friend, Lize, and that comes for free."

"I know." I agree. "Just…we love you, okay?" Her eyes finding mine, she has unshed tears but we aren't doing this. We aren't spending the evening like crying soppy assholes. "Open it."

Giving me a nod, she slips her finger under the lip of the envelope and pulls out the piece of paper. Well, the cheque. "I-I, uh…" Her gaze switching from the paper in her hand to me, she shakes her head and gives me a look of total confusion. "I-I can't accept this."

"You can, and you will, Jo." I sit forward a little. "This is a new start for you, too."

"But…this isn't me." She drops her gaze. "I don't deserve any of this."

"Like hell, you don't." I scoff. "You kept me sane for so long back in Detroit and I know you hated it there just as much as me. I know you will be making your own money with the business soon, but this is yours. Do whatever you want with it. Move your mom to New York if you want to…"

"I-I could do that?" She furrows her brow. "T-That would be okay?"

"Jo, you have a cheque for ten million dollars in your hand. You can do what the fuck you want right now."

"Eliza…" She shakes her head.

"Bring your mom to New York. Buy her a place. You know she would love it." I smile. "Detroit has done nothing for any of us…so start again. Like I have. This is all because of you, anyway…"

"No." She smiles. "You found love all by yourself, Eliza."

"But you told me to go to New York. You told me I needed a break and you loaned me that cash. I couldn't have done any of this without you. I wouldn't be who I am if it wasn't for you. The _real_ me, at least."

"I just wanted you to be happy." She gives me a sad smile. "It mattered that one of us could be happy and you were the one who had more potential."

"And now you can be happy, too." I stand and pull her up to her feet. "I don't doubt that you will have a huge career with Arizona, but this is just to get you started. Buy yourself a gorgeous place. Call your mom…"

"Yeah?"

"Actually, don't call her." I shake my head. "She's already here and is meeting you in the lobby at seven"

"Moms here?" She cries. "How?"

"Do you really think I _wouldn't_ bring Mrs. Wilson here for my wedding day?" I raise an eyebrow. "That woman virtually raised me because my own mother couldn't. She is just as important as you are, Jo."

"You have no idea how much I fucking love you." Pulling me into a bone-crushing hug, I reciprocate and she cries into the crook of my neck. "How did our lives turn out so perfect, Lize?"

"Because we believed." I smile. "I believed in love and you believed in yourself."

"Yeah." She gives me a slight nod as she looks down at the cheque still in her hands. "Wow…"

"Get your ass ready." I nudge her away. "Your mother won't wait forever."

* * *

Strolling along the beach, my Havaianas are in my hand and the water is lapping at my feet. The sun is about to set, but I love this time of night down here. Its when the sky is at its finest. Its when all of my thoughts and worries disappear and I can just be. It's not often that I have the opportunity to do that with my job and the city that we live in, but here I feel like I can do anything. I feel like I'm at my very best here in Cuba. I've brought my cell with me with the hopes that I may be able to sneak a call with my fiancé, but I'm not hopeful. Teddy is probably finished with any of her business she was tending to earlier, so she will have Arizona's full attention by now. I get that, though. After all, we aren't even supposed to be texting so a call is way out of the question. _Just the rest of the night and I'll see her._ God, I can't wait to see her.

Dropping down onto the sand, I bring my knees up to my chest and a smile settles on my face. This time last year I was living a lie. This time last year I was firmly in my mother's grip with no signs of ever getting out. Now, though? Now my life is beyond perfect and I know that I could never be unhappy again. I know that no matter what life throws at us…Detroit will always be my absolute nightmare. Mom. The poverty. The shitty job. The simply getting by for the sake of it and the fake male fiancé. I still can't believe I got out sometimes, but I did and I'm here…about to marry Arizona. _Wow…_

Every time I think about it my heart skips a beat. I'm not scared about tomorrow or worried that I've made the wrong decision. I know that no matter what background Arizona had, I'd have still fallen in love with her. I'd have still seen her in that bar and I'd have still gone back to her place. _Thank God, I did._ I dread to think what my life would be right now if I hadn't, but I know that we found each other for a reason. My cell buzzing in my hand, it's a message from the woman I can never get off of my mind.

 ** _Deep in thought? A x_**

 ** _Yeah… E x_**

 ** _Care to share? A x_**

 ** _Just thinking about the past year. E x_**

 ** _All good things, I hope. A x_**

 ** _Of course. Only ever good things when I have you on my mind. E x_**

 ** _Too adorable. There's a rock to your left. A x_**

Glancing up, I furrow my brow and turn my head to the direction Arizona is talking about. Yep, there's a rock. She knows this place so well and I'll bet its some beautiful spot that I haven't discovered yet.

 ** _There is. E x_**

 ** _Head for it. A x_**

 ** _I don't really want to head back there alone. It's almost dark. E x_**

 ** _You will NEVER be alone…_**

Okay, that's adorable. Smiling as I lock my cell and stand, I head for the rock she has brought to my attention and close the distance a little more. I don't know why she is sending me over to it, but she must have her reasons. Getting closer, it's definitely a beautiful piece of rock, but it really could have waited for another day. A day when it's bright and sunny. Not when it's almost dark and I'll be lucky to grab any kind of view from here. "Back here…" My breath catching when I hear a familiar voice, my smile widens and I head into some kind of cove.

"Arizona?" Her gorgeous blue eyes finding mine, she holds out her hand and pulls me in closer. "It's so good to see you." Wrapping her up in a hug, her heart is beating at the perfect pace and I know she isn't scared about tomorrow. "I missed you…"

"I missed you, too." Her dimples popping, she brushes her thumb across my cheek and I lean into her touch. "Does anyone know where you are?"

"Jo knows I'm out walking, but she isn't bothered about me contacting you."

"Did you give her our gift?" She raises an eyebrow.

"I did." I nod. "I wasn't sure if she would laugh and cry."

"And…" My fiancé draws out.

"She did both." I shrug. "Does Teddy know where you are?"

"Nope." She narrows her eyes. "Kinda beautiful back here, huh?"

"Mm, it is." I glance up and find the last remaining clouds disappearing through a hole in the roof of the cove. "Especially since I'm here with you." Turning me in her arms, she wraps them around my waist and rests her chin on my shoulder. "I can't wait to become your wife." Soft fingertips toying with the skin of my stomach, I shudder under Arizona's touch and she smiles against my neck.

"Everything is so much more beautiful when we are together." She whispers in my ear. "Everything."

"Can we not just stay here?" I ask. "Sleep under the stars…"

"You know I'd love that." She breathes out. "But we have to at least try and do the traditional thing."

"Yeah, we kinda already failed on that." I laugh, turning my head and capturing her lips. "Mm…"

"You know I want to stay here with you." She mumbles against my mouth. "I'd love nothing more…"

"But?" I sigh.

"The tide is making its way in and I don't really want to die before my wedding day."

"Hmm, good point." I agree. "Kinda don't want to leave you now that I have you, though." Turning in my fiancé's arms, I study her face and find nothing but complete love in her eyes. "You complete me, Arizona."

"And you complete me." Her lips pressing softly against my own, her tongue slips into my mouth and this really should stop. We cannot have sex the night before our wedding day. It's one thing to secretly meet up, but it's another to do things we shouldn't be. _But I really want to._ Smiling against her lips when I swallow a low moan from Arizona, she pulls back and rests her forehead against my own. "Fuck…"

"We have to stop, right?"

"Y-Yeah." I sigh. "I guess we should." Her hand gripping my ass, she pulls me in closer and brushes her nose against my own. "Arizona…"

"After tonight, I never want to sleep without you again." Her breath washing over my face, my eyes close and I give her a slight nod. "I never want to be without you ever again."

"You won't." My hands slip beneath the linen shirt she is wearing and my nails drag softly down her back. "Never."

"Promise me?" She sways our bodies to some kind of silent melody. "Without the audience and without the vows. Promise me right now that I've got you forever…"

"I promise." Her lips curling into a smile, she tightens her grip around my waist and closes her eyes. "I promise that you've totally got me forever. All of me. Everything, Arizona."

"Then I will sleep perfectly tonight." She smiles, her lips ghosting over my own. "Knowing that tomorrow is the start of something new…I'll sleep soundly for the rest of my life."

"I don't want to leave you…" My voice breaks as my hands find her face, cupping her softly. "I don't want to go back without you."

"We have to, beautiful." She gives me a sad smile. "We have to go back and prepare for the rest of our lives together."

"I know…" I drop my gaze and she places a kiss on my forehead. "I'll love you forever, okay?"

"I know you will…" A single tear falls down her slightly bronzed cheek. "You and me forever, right?"

"Forever."

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.**


	87. Chapter 87

**Characters belong to Shonda. The rest is mine.**

* * *

Chapter Eighty-Seven

* * *

ARIZONA'S POV

* * *

"I swear to God, Teddy…you are really fucking testing my patience now!" Pinching the bridge of my nose, she swats my hand away and glares.

"Will you watch your god damn makeup."

"Oh kiss my ass!" I scoff. "I look fucking hot with or without the makeup!" Rolling my eyes, she raises her eyebrow. "What?"

"Someone is pretty confident this morning."

"Yeah, well I'm about to marry the love of my life so it's kinda hard not to be confident." Shrugging, I check myself over in the floor to ceiling mirror and I'm more than satisfied with what I see. "God, I can't wait to see her."

"And you guys _didn't_ sneak off somewhere last night?" She narrows her eyes. "For some hot pre-wedding sex?"

"Why is everyone so obsessed with my sex life?" Shaking my head, I fix my bracelet around my wrist. "And no. I don't need to sneak off. If I wanted to have my way with her, I'd have kicked your ass out of here and brought her back."

"Brought her back?" She repeats my words. "So, you did meet up with her?"

"N-No." I hold up my hands.

"You know, you should really work on your lying." She laughs. "You've lost your game since you met her."

"Have not." I wrinkle my nose. "And I'm not lying."

"Sure you're not." She nudges my arm. "So, are you doing okay?" She asks. "I'm just trying to be the good best friend right now."

"I'm doing just fine." I smile. "Just want to get out there now." It's true. I have no nerves about this day whatsoever. I thought I would. I thought I'd be throwing up and a rambling mess but I don't need to behave that way. I know exactly what I'm gaining from today, so no…I have no reason to be a mess. _I hope she's okay._ Of course, she will be okay. She's my girl. _Ugh, she is definitely exactly that._

"You really love her, don't you?" Teddy gives me a knowing smile.

"Of course, I do." I furrow my brow. "You only just figuring that out now?"

"No, I don't mean it like that." She takes a seat on the edge of the bed. "I mean this is really it for you. No one else could even come close to what you two have. I'd say it's sickening but it's not. It's fucking amazing, Arizona."

"Thanks." I smile. "And yeah…she's totally it for me."

"When did you know?" She asks. "When did you know that you would spend your life with her?"

"God." I release a deep breath. "There was an evening when she came by my place. We weren't on good terms and she thought I was kinda like buying her. You know, the multi-millionaire status thing?" My best friend gives me a nod. "I told her I couldn't let her go."

"And…"

"I saw it in her eyes." I smile. "I could see that she was thinking the exact same thing. She couldn't let me go, either. She just…you've no idea how much I love her, Ted's."

"Oh, I think I do." She disagrees. "It's the love we all want but will never get."

"Yeah?" My smile widens. "You really think that?"

"Anyone who knows you thinks that, Arizona." She stands and moves out onto the balcony. "The place looks amazing…"

"Mm, it does." I follow her out and from where I am, I have the perfect view of the spot where our ceremony will take place. "It had to be perfect for her. That was all that mattered."

"And what about you?" She glances my way.

"It doesn't matter about me." I shrug. "Eliza is the one who deserves all of this. The terrible life she had…I just need to show her that she is loved. If not by anyone else, at least by me."

"Her mom hasn't tried to contact either of you?"

"No." I sigh. "I kinda hoped she would. You know, have a change of heart and love Eliza regardless of who she is married to…but that woman isn't capable of anything close to that. I know that now."

"So, you didn't realize that when she accepted payment from you?" Teddy scoffs. "Wasn't that the giveaway?"

"I don't know," I admit. "I thought maybe she was just desperate for the cash and that was her way of getting it. I thought maybe she would show up at our place and apologize and all of it could be forgotten."

"But that didn't happen…" My best friend states the obvious. "She sounds like a real bitch."

"She is." I give her a sad smile. "Thankfully, her daughter is the total opposite."

"Yeah, kinda figured that out." Teddy laughs. "I'm so happy she makes you feel the way you do."

"Me too." I breathe out. "Just…I can do this, right?" I mean, I know I can, but I need her to tell me that I can. I need someone to just reassure me so I can stop thinking about whether or not Eliza will still love me like she does now in twenty years time.

"You've got this, Zona. You've totally got this."

"Yeah…" I give her a nod in agreement. "I do." Handed my bouquet by my best friend, she takes her own in her hands and motions for me to head to the door. "I guess it's time, huh?"

"Time to begin the rest of your life?" She raises her eyebrow. "Definitely." Glancing at the clock, I'm startled when a knock on the door puts a stop to our conversation. "You should get that."

Opening the door, my eyes widen when I find my dad and my brother standing out in the corridor. "Tim, you made it."

"You really thought I'd miss your big day?" He rolls his eyes, a single tear falling down his face. "You look incredible."

"Thank you." Switching my gaze when I hear my dad sniffling beside Tim, Teddy hands him a tissue and he gives her a thankful smile. "You doing okay there, dad?"

"Yes, honey." Clearing his throat, I step out into the corridor and release a deep breath. "God, I hope your mother doesn't have an unknown heart condition." _Okay, I don't look that good._ "Arizona…" He grips my wrist before I turn to head towards the elevator. "I don't say it enough, but I'm so proud of you."

"Thanks, dad." Pressing a kiss to his cheek, I take his hand in my own and give it a firm squeeze. "You guys ready to do this or do I have to head down alone while you all compose yourselves?"

"No, we're ready." Tim clears his throat and straightens himself out. Leaning in a little closer as we make our way towards where I need to be, he lowers his tone. "By the way…she looks absolutely breathtaking."

"Y-Yeah?" My smile widens as my stomach flips. "You saw her?"

"Maybe…"

"Was she okay? She didn't look like she was about to run?"

"Run…from you?" He laughs. "Yeah, that ain't ever going to happen." Taking my hand in his own, it feels so good to have my brother here with me. Sure, we are close…but he's done a lot of traveling over the past eighteen months or so. The move to Dubai may have put a little extra distance between us, but we always catch up. We always check in with each other. I just wish Eliza had met him face to face rather than via an Internet link before the wedding. I guess they can get to know each other a little better whilst we are all in Cuba. _God, I love this place._

Stepping into the elevator, my dad and my best friend follow behind us and the doors close. Realising that I'm actually about to marry Eliza, my stomach suddenly doesn't feel so good. Like, I think I'm going to throw up. _Where the hell did the nerves come from?_ Releasing a few deep breaths, Tim squeezes my hand tight and silently reminds me that I've got this. Reaching the lobby, I step out and wow, this feels all kinds of weird. I never imagined myself in a wedding dress, but here I am…looking pretty damn good. _Okay, less of the confidence._ My eyes closing as I head for the beachfront bar, I catch sight of the people gathered for our amazing day and my heart is pounding in my chest. I can see my mom to the left of the bar and I need to talk to her. I need her to give me her words of encouragement. "Mom?" I call out.

"Oh, good lord!" Her hands placed over her mouth, her eyes close and I can already see the tears falling. "Arizona…"

"Mom, please don't cry." I give her a sad smile. "I don't have time to fix my makeup."

"Arizona." Her smile widens. "I don't even have any words for you. For this moment."

"I'm going to be okay, right?" I give her a pleading look. "Tell me I'm going to be okay…"

"No." She shakes her head. _What does she mean…no?_ "I don't need to tell you that you're going to be okay. You know you are. Eliza is the only woman for you. The sooner you get out there, the sooner you can both have a wonderful life together."

"Yeah…" I breathe out. "Just…you'll be there if I need you?"

"I haven't let you down yet." She gives me a knowing look. "Just…be you, honey. Be you and the rest will follow."

"Okay." I nod. "Dad, you ready?"

"If you are." He smiles as I link my arm through his own. _Oh god, this is happening. It's actually happening._ Right now! Stepping out onto the sand, the fresh air is doing all kinds of amazing things to me and I realize that this was all I needed. I just needed a little fresh air in my lungs. You know, prepare me for what I have to say. _Fuck, what if I forget what I have to say? I have so much that she has to hear, but it's already disappearing from my mind faster than ever._ There have been times in our relationship where Eliza has just needed my words, and now is one of those times. Great, I'm going to fuck this up before I've married her. Great start, huh!

Reaching the rows of close family and friends, I'm met with a round of gasps and all I can do is smile. I have my father beside me and I know that no matter what happens today, Eliza and I will sleep beside each other tonight as one another's wife. Sounds crazy in my head, but that's what's happening. That is what the outcome of this day will be. _If she shows._ Oh god, what if she doesn't show? She may have realized that she doesn't want this as she stands in the spot I've just been standing in. She may realize her move to New York was one huge mistake and I never see her again.

 ** _"Everything is so much more beautiful when we are together."_**

Reminded of my words to her last night, my nerves totally disappear when I remember that gorgeous smile she had on her face. The smile I've caused many times over the past year. The smile that I will wake up beside tomorrow morning. That smile…God, I could die happy knowing I've witnessed that smile.

 ** _"You complete me, Arizona."_**

Yeah, my fiancé isn't running. There is no way she would ever do that. She's too good to leave me standing here alone. I realize that now. Reaching the spot where I have to stand and wait for her, my dad presses a kiss below my ear and throws me a wink. "You've got this, Kiddo. I love you."

"I love you too, Dad." Giving him one of my dimpled smiles, he steps back and gives me a nod. His hands now clasped behind his back as he joins Tim and my mother. Knowing I have a minute or so before I see Eliza, I glance out over the ocean and it totally settles my mind. We watched it together last night. We've watched it many times since we first vacationed here together. We've cried at the edge of it. We've laughed as we swam in it. We have come undone beneath each other to the sound of it from our balcony. This is our place. It always will be.

The sound of gasps once again filling the air, my eyes widen when I realize that the moment I turn around, Eliza is all I'm going to see. I can already smell her scent as the breeze carries it toward me. I can feel her eyes on me. I can't turn around. I can't, because when I do…I'll cry. Shit, this is happening. This is happening right this second. _Turn around, Arizona. Turn around and look at the woman who stole your heart._ Closing my eyes and inhaling deeply, I swallow hard and turn my body a little. I know she is approaching me and I know she is almost behind me, but I'm struggling right now. I'm struggling to _not_ cry…and pass out at the same time. The sound of my father clearing his throat, I finally turn fully and what I find totally ends my life.

"Wow…" My breath catching as my fiancé steps painfully close to me and her father steps aside, the smile on my face speaks all of the words I'm unable to get out of me right now. My eyes closing, tears slip down my face but I no longer care. I don't care who sees me as the emotional wreck I am in this moment. My fiancé looks absolutely stunning and yeah… _whoa._ Leaning into her touch when she places a kiss below my ear, my head is spinning but this is the happiest day of my life. Even if I mess up. Even if I forget what I need to say. None of it matters because she is standing right next to me, and she always will be. "You look…wow."

"Thank you." She takes my hand in her own and leans into me a little closer. "You look incredible." Giving her a thankful smile, I can hear Teddy crying behind us already and I'm trying hard not to laugh. Teddy does not cry. Teddy is an emotionless bitch at the best of times and that's the most I can usually hope for. The guy in front of us is rambling on and I don't even remember what is supposed to happen next. I'm so in love with the woman standing beside me that I don't remember what freaking day it is. I just have to remember to breathe. If I do that, I won't die. Dying wouldn't be good right now…not on my wedding day. Gaining a slight nudge from Teddy, I find her standing next to me with Eliza's wedding ring safely in her hands. _Thank god she didn't forget it._ Throwing me a wink, I know it's time for me to say what I have to say…and weirdly, it's all there in my head. Like it never disappeared. Like I've been prepared for this day all of my life.

Taking the ring from its safe place, I slip it past my fiancé's knuckle and it looks perfect sitting above her engagement ring. We didn't do things small…that's for sure. Smiling when I glance up and find her intense green eyes staring back at me, my heart rate settles and I'm so ready to make this woman mine forever. "Eliza, for so long I thought I had everything I could ever possibly need in my life. I had it all." Giving me a soft smile, she tilts her head to the side a little. "But then I met you. You came into my life, and I realized that actually…I had nothing. The material things didn't matter once I knew you and loved you. None of it mattered if I didn't have you." Her hand tightening around my own, a tear slips down her face and I'm trying hard to hold back my own right now. "Maybe I believed that I didn't deserve love because I had been blessed with everything else, but that changed. God, that changed so fast once I looked into your eyes and they told me that I deserved it. That I needed it. That I needed _you._ " Taking a breath, I've never been more sure about anything in my life as I am in this moment now. _"_ You have been more and you have meant more than anyone in this world could ever mean to me, and I don't know how I ever survived without you. You are the breath of fresh air I craved for so long, and once I had that…once I knew what we could be, I knew I needed your love more than anything else I could ever possibly find. I knew that I needed your arms to keep me safe at night. That smile to wake up beside." My voice breaking, I give myself a moment and clear my throat. "I told you when I met you that I would do everything in my power to make you happy. To make _us_ happy...and I will always do that. I will always need your smile and your love in my life. You are the woman I want to be beside when I take my final breath. You are the woman I want to be beside when we are traveling the world together. When we are meeting new friends, and catching up with old ones. I may have all the money I could ever need, and I may have the status…but none of that could compare to you. None of that could buy what we have. Absolute earth-shattering love. Life may throw all kinds at us, but we will always be one. We will always laugh together and cry together…we will always love together." Running my thumb over her knuckles, she gives me a slight nod and the most adorable smile settles on her face. "From this moment on, I promise to respect you and love you with everything that I have. Everything that I am. You are and always will be the absolute love of my life."

Reaching out and wiping a tear from her jawline, she leans into my touch and her eyes close. Sometimes I have everything in my head, and sometimes…nothing. It's just how she makes me feel. So long as I can always share that with her, we can never go wrong. We can never fall apart. The tables turning, I release a deep breath as she slips my own wedding ring onto my finger. "A year ago I met you in a bar in some downtown dive in New York and I didn't know what to make of you. I couldn't figure you out. My heart knew what it wanted, but my head was still playing the back and forth. My head was telling me that I could never have you. You just looked too good to be true." She gives me a sad smile. "For the most part, that may actually be pretty accurate, but I know the real you. I know the you that the world doesn't see. The kindness, the absolute love you have to give." Right now, I can see nothing but total honesty in her eyes. Absolute truth. "I see everything that I've ever dreamed about with you, but I never thought I'd have that. I never thought I'd have _you._ You just blow me away every single day. Whether it is as simple as making me smile, or some grand gesture…you make me fall head over heels in love with you every morning when I wake beside you." _Wow, who knew words could be so powerful._ My own tears falling down my face, she squeezes my hand. "You make me want to be the best version of myself and strive to always do better. The most important thing, though…is that you saw me. You saw past the hurt and the insecurities. You saw past the way I felt about myself and you just loved me. Completely and unconditionally. You have stood by me through so much this past year and I know that in thirty years time, we will still be doing this. We will still be hopelessly in love. We will still be pushing one another to do more. To _be_ more." Stepping a little closer to me, my heart skips a beat and I know that the end is almost here. All I've wanted to do since I saw her is kiss her…and soon, I can. "I couldn't imagine my life without you in it, Arizona. I love you and I'm going to do everything to make you happy. To make you mine forever. Everything that we are is pure love, and from this moment on, I'm going to be the wife you deserve. I'm going to provide you with the incredible love that you should never be without."

Her eyes closing when her voice breaks, I need this guy to say the words. I need this guy to stop with the unnecessary words so I can kiss my freaking wife. _Holy shit, she's my wife. Like…my actual wife._ Wow. Those words finally hitting my ears, I've never felt so relieved in all of my life. _He said it…he said wife!_ Pulling my beautiful and incredible brunette against my body, her lips crush into my own and I'm not sure I've ever been kissed like this. Something about it is totally different to anything else we have ever shared. "I love you." Pulling back, I run my thumb across her bottom lip and her eyes close. "More than any of this could ever even begin to explain."

"Y-You're my wife…" She breathes out, the biggest smile widening on her face.

"I am." I dip my head to meet her gaze. "Pretty perfect, huh?"

"God, yes." Pulling me in again, a low moan rumbles in her throat and I smile against her mouth. Pulling back, her eyes bore into my soul and I'm barely breathing right now. "I love you." I know our day is only just beginning, but I feel like I've spent an entire lifetime as her wife. I feel like this isn't the beginning for us, but the next chapter. The most beautiful chapter of our incredible story.

 _It's time to totally live for us._

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.**


	88. Chapter 88

**Characters belong to Shonda. The rest is mine.**

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Chapter Eighty-Eight

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ELIZA'S POV

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My life came full circle today. No matter what I've experienced in the past…it totally came full circle. Arizona Robbins is an incredible woman, I know that…but this? The wedding, the amazing life we have shared and will continue to share? Unbelievable. It's the only way I can describe it. It's the only way I can begin to even explain the feelings I have inside of me right now. She just…she is perfect. Perfect in every sense of the word. Too perfect for me. Too perfect for this world. Sure, she is human just like the rest of us, but I got her. I got the girl and I don't even know how it happened. Did she fall from the sky? She may not have when I met her, but at some point she definitely did. Nobody is created so beautifully and so perfectly. _She is my wife._ I don't even know what to say to that. Hell, I don't even know what to say to _her._ Everything just feels so different right now. Everything feels like I'm watching from the outside. I know this feeling will settle, but I feel a little lost right now. Arizona has her family and her friends here, and I have a small handful of people. She is mingling and conversing with everyone and I'm out at the waters edge alone. I'm not pissed that I don't really have anyone here with me, but I just need a moment to myself. I need a moment to fully understand what my life is now. I mean, I don't have a mom here with me. Mrs. Robbins has been amazing and she has been there to support me all day, but I hoped my own mom would at least call me. Wish me well. Even if she didn't mean it, she could have said it to settle me a little. No such luck for me. I get it, though. We cant all have everything in our lives. I have the one woman I need and that is all that matters to me. That is all I care about.

Glancing back, I find my wife at a different table to where she was before and I can see my dad approaching me. I'm so happy that he could be here but things are still a little strained. It's going to take time, I know that, but he is trying his best and I couldn't really ask for any more than that.

"Eliza?" He steps up behind me and places his hand on my shoulder. The sun is close to setting and I'm happy he is here to see it with me.

"Hey, Dad." I give him a slight smile before glancing back out over the ocean.

"Is everything okay, sweetheart?"

"Sure." I nod. "Just taking a moment, you know?"

"Yeah." He sighs. "Today has been beautiful but sometimes we just have to take a step back for five and digest it all."

"Weird…" I laugh. "That was what I was just thinking."

"Like father like daughter, huh?" He nudges my shoulder before wrapping his arm around my waist. "You and Arizona look incredibly beautiful today."

"Thank you." I give him a thankful smile. "She looks…wow." I shake my head when I'm reminded of the moment I saw her. "I didn't expect anything less, though. She always looks amazing."

"And so do you." He tightens his grip. "I had something I was asked to relay to you…"

"Okay." I furrow my brow as I turn to face him.

"From Alexis." Her name causing me to clench my jaw, I'm not sure I want to put a downer on the rest of our evening right now. "Don't worry…it's nothing hurtful."

"Sure." I scoff.

"I discussed everything with her." He clears his throat. "Seems I didn't know my daughter as well as I thought I did."

"I'm sorry…"

"No." He holds up his hand. " _She_ is sorry."

"Oh, I find that hard to believe." I wrinkle my nose. "I appreciate you apologizing on her behalf, but it isn't necessary, Dad. So long as she stays out of our life, I'm good."

"And she knows that." He nods. "She is seeing someone about her behavior and she wanted you to know that she wishes the best for you and Arizona." _Okay, I don't know how true all of this is, but I don't want to hold this conversation any longer._ That woman has been involved in too much of my life this past year and I really don't need her to become involved in my wedding day, too.

"Then I'm definitely good." I smile.

"Excuse me, Aleksander." Arizona's voice pulls us out of our conversation. "Would you mind if I steal my wife away for a few minutes?"

"Not at all." He steps back and gives her a smile. "I'll see you ladies back inside."

"Hey…" She presses a kiss below my ear as my father walks away. "You okay?"

"Sure." I smile. "What are you doing out here?"

"You were alone and I don't want you to be…" She furrows her brow.

"I'm okay. I was just thinking." I take her hand in my own. "You should get back to your friends."

"I can't." She shakes her head and turns me, wrapping her arms around my waist from behind. "We always watch the sunset together…"

"Yeah…" I breathe out. "We do." My head falling back on her shoulder, her scent completely relaxes me and a smile settles on my face. "Today has been perfect, Arizona."

"You deserve perfection." The side of her face rests against my own. "You deserve everything." Silence falls over us for a few minutes and I could end this day right now. Just like this…in her arms.

"I love you…" My eyes closing, her grip on my waist tightens.

"I love you, too." She turns her head a little and nuzzles her face in the crook of my neck. "But our first dance is about to happen…"

"We should head back then, huh?"

"I guess we should." Turning, I take her hand in my own and we slowly make our way across the sand and back towards the beach bar. "You look beautiful."

"Have you seen you?" I raise an eyebrow. "I almost died when I saw you earlier…"

"Oh, trust me…I'd have died before you." She laughs. "I thought my heart was going to rip out of my chest."

"Don't worry," I smirk. "I'd have caught it." Pressing my lips to her own, we are alerted to the fact that it is time for our first dance and we head straight to the dance floor. "W-Who is that on the mic?" My eyes widen. "N-No way…"

Wrapping her arms around my waist, my own settle around my wife's shoulders and she gives me a knowing look. I know exactly who is about to sing at our wedding and I don't know if I'm going to survive the rest of this night. _Holy shit!_ "She's not here…just relax."

"What do you mean…relax?" I laugh. "How can I relax?"

"Because this is our moment and nobody else in this room matters." _Okay, I totally get that, but no…THAT woman matters._ That woman who is about to sing for us _really_ matters. _Jesus, she has some connections in this world._

"Y-Yeah." The sound of a piano playing, it sends chills down my spine and I'm totally out of my body right now. This may have been a small and very private ceremony, but it feels like the world knows who I am. It feels like the world knows that I totally have Arizona's heart.

 ** _You've been on my mind_**

 ** _I grow fonder every day,_**

 ** _Lose myself in time_**

 ** _Just thinking of your face_**

 ** _God only knows_**

 ** _Why it's taken me so long_**

 ** _To let my doubts go_**

 ** _You're the only one that I want_**

 ** _I don't know why I'm scared, I've been here before_**

 ** _Every feeling, every word, I've imagined it all,_**

 ** _You never know if you never try_**

 ** _To forgive your past and simply be mine_**

 ** _I dare you to let me be your, your one and only_**

 ** _Promise I'm worthy to hold in your arms_**

 ** _So come on and give me the chance_**

 ** _To prove that I'm the one who can_**

 ** _Walk that mile until the end starts_**

"This is my song…" A tear slips down my face and Arizona instantly catches it. I swear this woman couldn't amaze me any more than she has already. I swear I could never repay her for the absolute love she has shown me. The absolute love she has given me.

"It is." She smiles. "Figured I couldn't do any better than this…"

"You are incredible." My eyes close as I take in every word I'm hearing.

 ** _If I've been on your mind_**

 ** _You hang on every word I say_**

 ** _Lose yourself in time at the mention of my name_**

 ** _Will I ever know how it feels to hold you close?_**

 ** _And have you tell me whichever road I choose you'll go_**

 ** _I don't know why I'm scared 'cause I've been here before_**

 ** _Every feeling, every word, I've imagined it all,_**

 ** _You'll never know if you never try_**

 ** _To forgive your past and simply be mine_**

 ** _I dare you to let me be your, your one and only_**

 ** _I promise I'm worthy to hold in your arms_**

 ** _So come on and give me the chance_**

 ** _To prove that I'm the one who can_**

 ** _Walk that mile until the end starts_**

Pressing her lips to my own, the entire room disappears and all I can feel is Arizona, my wife, all over me. She is all I can think about. None of my past matters right now. None of _our_ past matters. We may have had a rough time and I know it broke us more than once, but we survived. We survived and we fought. We fought for this moment and we are here as one. How could I ever possibly find anyone better? I couldn't. I know that will complete certainty.

 ** _I know it ain't easy, giving up your heart_**

 ** _I Know it ain't easy, giving up your heart_**

 ** _So I dare you to let me be your, your one and only_**

 ** _I promise I'm worthy to hold in your arms_**

 ** _So come on and give me a chance_**

 ** _To prove that I'm the one who can_**

 ** _Walk that mile until the end starts_**

 ** _Come on and give me a chance_**

 ** _To prove that I'm the one who can_**

 ** _Walk that mile until the end starts._**

The sound of the piano fading out, Arizona doesn't take her eyes off of my own and I'm struggling right now. I'm struggling with my emotions more than ever. I want to drag her out of here and hold her forever, but we can't. The night is still young and we have guests to entertain. "I know I tell you this all of the time, but you are amazing…and I love you, Arizona."

"I know." She presses a kiss to my lips. "I also know that our life together is going to be amazing. Incredible, even." Running her thumb across my cheek, her dimples pop and I'm beside myself with the idea of my future with this woman.

* * *

This day has been more than I ever could have hoped for. I mean, I've just married the absolute love of my life. I've just officially become her other half. The people who aren't here for me don't matter. I realize that now. I realize that they've barely _ever_ been a part of my life, so no…I don't need them to suddenly become a part of it again now. Sure, I miss my mom at times but I don't miss how she made me feel. I don't miss the lie I had to live whilst under her roof. I don't miss any of that. I just miss knowing that I have a mom…especially now that I have a dad in my life. I guess it all comes good when it's supposed to, though, right? I guess I'm where I should be and that is the only thing I need to focus on right now. My life. My love. My marriage. _Ugh, I'm someone's wife. How amazing is that?_ Smiling as I squeeze Arizona's hand a little tighter, she slides the keycard down our suite door and my breath catches when I step inside. "Wow…"

"I saved this room for tonight." She smiles as she presses her lips to my own. "For us…"

"It's beautiful." Moving through the huge open space, I find myself outside on the most amazing balcony and Arizona instantly wraps her arms around my waist. "Some view, huh?"

"Mmhmm…" She agrees. "Not as good as the view I'm blessed with every single day." Okay, could she be any more adorable? Every word she ever speaks to me leaves me feeling weak at the knees, and I know that I will always feel that way about her. I know that no matter what, she will still be whispering sweet words in my ear in thirty years time. "Thank you for making me the happiest woman in the world, Eliza…"

"Oh, I think you are the one who deserves all of the praise." I turn my head a little and find her eyes. Her gorgeous, incredible blue eyes. "None of this would have happened without you."

"Huh?" She pulls back a little and finds my eyes.

"If you hadn't convinced me that I was worth a good life…if you hadn't told me how much you wanted me…we wouldn't be here right now. We wouldn't be together."

"You really think we wouldn't be together?" She furrows her brow. "You honestly would have left?"

"I think I would have, yeah." Giving her a sad smile, she presses her lips to my own. "Not because I didn't want you, but because I didn't think I was worth it. I didn't think I deserved you."

"And now?" She narrows her eyes.

"Now I know that we are supposed to be together. Now I realize I'm not the person I was back in Detroit. I deserve more than that. We deserve each other, Arizona."

"Damn right we do." She turns me in her arms and guides me back inside. "You should probably close the door."

"Why?" I study her face.

"Because I'm about to make love to my wife for the first time, and I cannot be held responsible for the noise…" Taking my bottom lip between her teeth, her hands find the silk material holding my wedding dress in place and she gently tugs at it. "I've wanted to touch you all day…"

"I've wanted that, too." My breathing a little labored as she runs her fingertips up my naked back, I step out of my dress and a smirk settles on her face. "What?"

"I love it when I don't have too much to take off of you…" Tugging at her bottom lip, her eyes trail my body and she throws me down onto the bed. The huge bed I'm about to get totally lost in. Removing her own dress, my smile widens when I find her totally naked beneath it. "You're staring…"

"Mm, it's kinda hard not to." My eyes close and I take a breath. A breath my body really needs since it doesn't know when the next one will be taken. "Do you have any idea how much I wanted you last night down on the beach?"

"I do…" She climbs over my body and straddles my stomach. "I could feel it…and I wanted you, too."

"Now you have me…" She lifts my arms above my head and dips her own, trailing her tongue down my neck.

"I'll always have you, Eliza…don't ever forget that." Sucking on that sweet spot below my ear, my body responds immediately and I know she isn't joking. I know she means every word she says. She hasn't let me down yet. "All mine." She moans as she takes my nipple between her teeth and sucks gently. "Forever."

"God, yes." My back arching as she rolls her tongue over the hardening bud, her mouth is pure heaven and her touch…mind blowing. Her hands working down the sides of my stomach, my body trembles in anticipation of what is to come. I know I'll never have a dull moment in the bedroom with Arizona, but yesterday was hard going for the both of us. Knowing that we couldn't see each other…touch each other, it just made things so much harder. It made me want to take her and never stop. "You feel amazing against me…"

"I always will." Her eyes finding mine, she smirks and dips her hand between my legs, cupping my sex through my minimal underwear. "You need me, huh?"

"I always need you…" I run my thumb across her cheek. "You know that." Climbing off of me, she slips my panties over my thighs and straddles me once again. Her knee slipping between my own legs, she tugs at her bottom lip when she finds nothing but complete arousal from me. "You do that to me, Arizona…only you."

"Fuck, I know." She breathes out, her fingertip ghosting over my sex. "Only me." Running her finger along her bottom lip, the low moan she releases only provides me with a whole new arousal and I'm not sure how much longer I can wait for her to be inside of me. _God, I love feeling her inside of me._ "So good." She whispers and she leans down and captures my lips.

"Mm…" I smile against her mouth. "Baby, I need you."

"I know." She rests her forehead against my own. "I know exactly what you need." Pressing two fingers against my clit, a gasp falls from my mouth and the throbbing between my legs subsides a little. Drawing soft circles, my eyes close and my head buries deeper into the pillow beneath me.

"I-If you keep doing that…fuck." Trying to breathe through my impending orgasm, she knows I want her inside of me. Gliding inside with ease, my eyes open and I find her smiling at me. "Oh god…yes." The slightest of nods from me, she raises her eyebrow before narrowing her eyes. Forcing herself against her hand, I know she needs me too and I don't want to waste any more time. I've thought about how soaked she would be all day and I'm not sure how I've managed to concentrate. "Lift up a little."

Doing as I ask, my nails graze her inner thigh and her body falls forward a little. "Fuck…" Her breath catching before I've barely even touched her, I know she is super sensitive right now. I know she is desperate for me. "E-Eliza…oh god." My fingertip rolling over her clit, she fists her hands in the sheet to the side of her and shifts a little. "Please…" She breathes out.

Slipping inside of her suddenly, she groans and sinks down on my fingers. Her own working me like never before, she curls them inside of me and I know she is close. I know just a few thrusts and she will be writhing above me. I love having this effect on her, and I know our night is only just beginning. Wedding sex may just be the best sex we've ever had and yeah…we've had some pretty intense moments leading up to this day. "T-Together…" I pant as my stomach tightens.

"Always, beautiful." Her eyes finding mine, her concentration doesn't falter. Her mind doesn't wander. Fuck, she is making me crazy just looking at me. "S-So close." She grinds down against my fingers. "Shit…" Her thighs closing a little, she bites down on my bottom lip and smiles against my mouth. "God, I love you so much."

"I-I…oh fuck." My orgasm crashing through me, my walls squeeze her fingers tight and my wife topples over the edge with me. "D-Don't stop," I beg. "Fuck, don't stop."

"God, you're just as tight as the day I met you…" She breathes against my mouth, her body shaking above me.

"I-I love you…" Crushing my lips into her own, my hand grips the back of her neck and she slows her pace inside of me. Her own hips barely moving, her lips ghost over my own and her breathing settles a little. "And I couldn't live without you…"

"You won't ever have to." She smiles as she pulls back and runs her thumb over my bottom lip. "I'm going to love you forever…"

* * *

 **And that's a wrap. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.**

 **Their first dance song was 'One and Only' by Adele.**

 **Thank you to everyone who has read, reviewed, followed and put their time into this fic. It means the absolute world to know that you guys have loved this story just as much as I've loved writing it. It has been my all-time favorite to write, but it's time to end it.**

 **Sending tons of love and positivity to each and every one of you! Xx**


	89. Chapter 89

**Characters belong to Shonda. The rest is mine.**

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EPILOGUE

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ARIZONA'S POV

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"Hey, mom!" Glancing towards the doorway to my office, I find my eldest son standing and staring at me like he wants something. _I know that look, it's the same look Eliza gives me when she wants something._

"What's up, buddy?" I remove my glasses from my face.

"You know how I'm your favorite?"

"Mm…" I purse my lips together and narrow my eyes. "You're all my favorite, but go on…"

"Well, I'm secretly your real favorite, right?" He moves further into the room and gives me one of his gorgeous smiles. _How am I ever supposed to get anything done when my kids are a mirror image of my wife._

"Xavi?" I raise my eyebrow. "What do you need?"

"Ten dollars." He grins. "Jacob invited me to ice cream with his mom and mom said I had to run it by you first…"

"And that's your way of running it by me?" I laugh. "Boy, you just come right out with it, huh?"

"So, can I?" He furrows his brow. "I helped mom with the laundry…"

"Did you now?" I motion for him to come closer and he does. Pulling him up into my lap, his arms wrap around my neck and I press a kiss to his forehead. "And your bedroom?"

"Super clean." He nods. "Can I go with Jacob?"

"You know it." I throw him a wink. "What's mommy doing right now?" I ask.

"She's taking a nap." He shrugs. "What time are you and mom leaving for your trip?"

"Grandma will be here at five." He climbs down from my lap. "I'll call her and tell her you are busy with your friend, okay?"

"Grandma won't be mad?"

"Why would she be?" I furrow my brow. "She knows you're a busy guy." Handing over some cash, he shoves it in his pocket and steps back a little. "I need you to behave, okay? For Jacob's mom and for Grandma…" Giving him a knowing look, he's always been pretty well behaved. Sometimes he gets a little excited, though.

"Okay." He smiles. "Love you, mom."

"I love you, too." Watching Xavi walk away, I sit back in my seat and a smile settles on my face. Eliza and I are taking a hotel tonight. She needs a break and quite frankly, I do too. We moved out of the city eight years ago when we had Xavi and it was the best decision we ever made. The condo wasn't ideal for our situation and thankfully, I realized that before Eliza wrapped me around her little finger and gave me another three kids. Yeah, ten years on and we have four kids. Xavi is about to turn nine and is our eldest. Soraya is five and a miniature version of her other mother, and our twins, Noah and Joshua are almost six months old.

I never imagined all those years ago that I would be living outside of the city with four kids, but I am and it's the best feeling in the world. Jo has totally taken control of my business and I now work from home…if I work at all. I only work with high profile clients now. Anything else is left to the guys at the office and it's been that way for a long time. Eliza wanted a life with me and that is exactly what I've given her. I've given her everything she wanted and I'm happy that I did. I was here for every pregnancy. No trips out of town or flying across the world. Minimal office time and just giving her anything she needed. Being whatever she needed. Just us…here, and making memories. The best memories imaginable. She still makes my world spin ten years on and tonight is ours. It's ours and nobody is going to interrupt it. Mom is staying over with the kids tonight and honestly, I've never seen her looking so content in her life. She too has handed over all of her business to someone else and now she spends her days completely doting on our kids. _I think she's more in love with them than we are._ It's good having her around and any opportunity we have for her to take them off of our hands, we grab it.

Standing, I power down my computer and head out of my office. I've taken care of any important emails today and now I need a little time with my wife. I need some Eliza time and yeah, it's still my favorite time of the day. Heading across the landing, the house is in silence and it feels perfect. Everything about today has been perfect and tonight cannot come quick enough for me. "Hey…" Sneaking into our bedroom, Eliza looks tiny in our super kingsize bed but I can fix that. If I just slip in beside her, anyway.

"Hey…" She lifts the cover and motions for me to join her. "Did Xavi speak to you?"

"Mm, speak?" I raise an eyebrow. "More…demanded but yeah I've okayed his trip with Jacob."

"Jo has taken Soraya to the store." Eliza yawns. "Something about finding the cutest dress for her…"

"She's a good friend." I curl my body around my wife's. "You wanna take a nap?" I ask. "The twins are sleeping. I put them down before I checked my emails so we should have a little while to just be…"

"Yeah, a nap sounds amazing right now." Her eyes close and I press a kiss to her nose. "I love you."

"Mm, I love you too." My own eyes closing, I take in the sound of absolute silence and smile to myself. It's not often that we have silence in this house but I wouldn't change that for the world. Never. Noise means my kids are happy and that is the most important thing in the world to me. My wife and my kid's happiness. "We aren't taking a hotel in the city tonight…" I mumble as I snuggle into Eliza. "Figured you should know…"

"Oh, I was looking forward to that." I can hear the defeat in her tired voice. "Maybe some other time?"

"I'm flying us to Paris for the weekend, instead."

"What?" She sits up on her elbow, her eyes almost as wide as her smile. "Did you just say Paris?"

"I believe I did." A smile curls on my lips. "You up for that?"

"Oh, you know I am." Crushing her lips into my own, her body settles on top of me and my hand's ghost up and down her back. "You've no idea just how up for it I actually am…"

"Happy Anniversary, Eliza…" Brushing my thumb over her soft cheek, her eyes close and her smile is brighter than ever before.

"Who'd have thought we would have all of this ten years on?"

"I know…" I agree. "It's hard to believe that ten years ago tomorrow, it was just you and I standing on a Cuban beach telling our friends and family how much we loved each other…"

"I wouldn't trade that day for anything." She sighs, her eyes closing as she remembers our wedding day. "Never in a million years…"

* * *

Almost tripping over our bags as I drag them out of our room, Eliza rushes off down the hallway for one final cuddle with the twins. Mom is sharing dinner with Xavi and Soraya right now and we really have to get going if we want to take off any time soon. I've arranged the private jet and Rich is waiting downstairs for us. "Eliza…" I call out.

"One minute…" She calls back.

"Do you want to just take the kids with us?" I ask as I drop the bags and head for the twins room. "I just have to get their passports together."

"No…" She glances back at me as she hands over Joshua. "This break will be good for us. We haven't been away alone in a long time…"

"You're sure?" I give her a knowing look as I glance down at our youngest miracles. "Kinda don't wanna leave them now."

Leaning in, she presses a kiss below my ear and hovers a little longer. "Think of all the hot sex that will be on offer…" Taking my earlobe between her teeth, I clear my throat and try to stop the blush I can feel creeping up my neck. _Fucking hell, Robbins. It's been twelve years since you met. No use blushing now._ "You sure you still want to take them?"

"N-No." I stutter. "They need some time with my mom."

"Mm…figured." Throwing me a wink, she settles the twins back down and I wrap my arms around her waist from behind.

"You have given me the most incredible gifts in life, Eliza…" I press a kiss to the side of her neck. "And you deserve a break…"

" _We_ deserve a break, Arizona." She leans back against me and her hands settle over my own.

"Xavi…" I hear a slight whisper. "Mommies are kissing again." Smiling when I hear my daughter's voice, I turn around suddenly and she yelps, causing a laugh to fall from both mine and Eliza's mouths. "Xavi made me do it…"

"What did he make you do, honey?" Turning and lifting her into my arms, she chews on her lip and I narrow my eyes. "Soraya?"

"He made me come looking for you…" She whispers. "Don't want you to go."

"I know you don't, baby girl." Her arms wrap around my neck and I fix her on my hip a little better. "When we get back, though…how about you help me to decide on our next vacation?"

"Dolphins." She states. "Can we see dolphins?"

"That's what you want?" I dip my head and press a kiss to her dark hair. "You wanna see dolphins?"

"Mmhmm…" She nods.

"Then dolphins it is." I smile as I wrap her up tighter in my arms. "Now, Grandma is waiting for you. Mommy and I will be right behind you."

"Okay." Climbing down from my body, my daughter disappears from the twins bedroom and Eliza gives me an adorable smile.

"What?" I furrow my brow.

"You just give them anything they want…" She shrugs.

"Hey…" I curl my fingers under her chin. "So long as they grow up to respect people and work hard…I'll give them anything. They're my kids and if I wanna treat them…that is what I will do."

"Mm, do I get whatever I want too?" Her hand travels down my back and grips my ass. "Anything?"

"So long as it doesn't involve you carrying another child, yeah…you can have whatever you want in this world, Eliza…" I love my kids more than anything but four is enough. It has to be. Surely. I'm not sure my wife will ever _not_ want more kids, but I can't blame her. It's been the best experience in the world. _I know she wants more…_

"You…" She whispers against my mouth. "I just want you."

"Count me in." I lift her into my arms and her legs wrap around my waist. "Now, how about we say goodbye to everyone so I can get you to Paris and rip your clothes off?"

"Mm, I like the sound of that." She moans against my mouth, her arms wrapped around my neck. "Put me down then." She smiles.

"I can't." I rest my head against her own. "You feel too good to let go of…" Sighing as she drops her legs, she takes me by the hand and drags me from the twins bedroom. "I can't wait to have you all to myself." At least one of our kids usually ends up in bed with us every night, so yeah…having Eliza to myself for two whole nights is so needed right now. Taking the stairs, our bags are surrounding me like a pack horse, but Eliza takes two from me and reaches the lower level of our home.

"Hey, mom." I reach the kitchen and find my mother baking with the kids. "We're headed out, okay?"

"Okay, be safe…" She approaches me and pulls me into a hug. "Love you, Zona." She presses a kiss to my forehead before releasing me and wrapping Eliza up in one of her awesome hugs. "And you, Eliza…"

"Love you too, Barbara." She pulls back and gives my mom a huge smile. "Anything you need, call us."

"Please…I raised Arizona." She rolls her eyes and waves off my wife's concerns. "I've got it covered with this four." Throwing me a wink, she's never looked after them for more than one evening and that usually resulted in us just going out to dinner. She's right, though. My mom has totally got this covered here. I'm not concerned, not at all. "Kids, come and say goodbye to your mommies…"

A sudden rush of bodies headed towards us both, I drop down to my knee and wrap them up in a hug. "Love you, Mommy." Soraya nuzzles into the crook of my neck.

"I love you too, gorgeous girl." Swapping, I now have Xavi in my arms and he hugs me harder than my daughter did. "You remember what I said?"

"Yeah…"

"You're the man of the house, Xavi. I need you to set a good example for your sister, okay?"

"I promise." He gives me a nod of determination. "Love you, Mom."

"I love you too, buddy." Climbing back to my feet, Eliza says her goodbyes and I place my hand on the small of her back. Feeling her body relax for the first time in a long time, we head for the door, the kids and my mom following behind us. "See ya, Mom." Giving her a final smile, we both head down the steps of our home and towards the car Rich has waiting for us.

 _Time to get me some lovin'…_

* * *

Throwing my wife to the bed, I make quick work of her clothes and my mouth salivates when I find her totally naked in front of me. "Ugh, you've no idea how much I've wanted you today…"

"Just today?" Her hand trails up her bare stomach.

"Every minute of every day." Slipping my own clothes from my body, I settle between her legs and my skin is on fire just from being close to her. Having four kids often means that we don't get much time to ourselves but when we do get to be alone, it only makes it so much hotter. Sure, Eliza always has been incredibly hot, but the waiting and the not knowing when…it's been killing me all day. She is all I've thought about. She is all I've had at the forefront of my mind all day. "I thought about you in the shower today…" My lips trail her stomach and travel up between her breasts. "Things got a little steamy…"

"Oh yeah?" She moans as my lips envelop her nipple. "T-Tell me more…"

"I just needed you…" I whisper against her skin. "I needed you bad, Eliza…"

"But I wasn't there…" She groans as I suck a little harder. "T-To give you what you needed."

"No, baby." My center grinding against her own, our arousal is more than evident. "I had to take care of myself…"

"Fuck." Her breath catching as my clit presses against her own, my eyes close and a smile settles on my face. "You feel so good against me."

"I always do." I moan. "I was so wet for you, Eliza." I tease. "Wet and throbbing for your touch."

"As wet as you are right now?" Her hand connects with my sex and my body goes into overdrive.

"N-No…fuck." Clenching my jaw as her fingers glide through my arousal, she teases my entrance. "I could never be as wet as I am for you right now…" Bracing myself on my forearms, my eyes find her own. "But tonight is about you…" I press a kiss to her lips. "And I need you on your knees, baby."

"Mm, you do?" She raises an eyebrow. "I'm not sure I can go as long as you need me to."

"I'll be the judge of that." I climb off of her and flip her body so she is face down on the mattress. "You know this…"

"I-I do." She agrees as she climbs to her knees. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry." The palm of my hand connects with her ass. "Just don't do it again…okay?"

"Yes." Her head drops between her shoulders. "Fuck, I've missed you like this."

"Yeah?" My fingertips graze the back of her thigh. "What have you missed exactly?"

"You…fucking me from behind." I dip my hand between her legs. "Taking control of me…taking what belongs to you." Running my tongue down her spine, her knees shake but she knows I want her like this. She knows I need her in this position. We take what we can get lately, and tonight…I want all of her. I want everything from her. "Shit…doing everything to my body."

"Mm, I've missed it, too," I whisper as my tongue trials down her ass and I'm met with a world of arousal, her sex just dripping and begging for my touch. "Fucking beautiful…" Pressing my fingertips to her clit, her center is swollen and desperate for a little relief. "Do you need me, Eliza?"

"S-So much…" Her voice barely above a whisper, I dip my head a little lower and tease her entrance with the tip of my tongue. "Oh, god." Forcing her ass back, it slips inside momentarily. "Shit, yes!"

"Feel good?" I pull back and blow against her soaked sex.

"Mm, you always feel good…but I need you inside." I can hear the pleading in her voice and I want to give her what she needs. "I need you inside more than ever, Arizona."

"Are you sure?" I slip a single finger inside of my wife and she is squeezing me already. "Mm, yeah…you're sure." I smirk. Pushing another finger inside, her body falls forward a little and her breath catches. "Fuck you feel so good…"

"I'm everything you need?" She asks. "Everything you want?"

"From the moment I laid eyes on you…" I watch my fingers thrust in and out of my wife, my own center throbbing for her. "Everything I'll ever need…" Slamming back against my hand, her walls are tightening and I know she wants to let go.

"Am I still tight enough for you?" She glances over her shoulder as I add a third finger. "Do you still want to fuck me good? Hard?"

"You are perfect for me…" I lean in and capture her lips, never letting up with my strength inside of her. "I fucking love you." Taking her bottom lip between my teeth, I tug a little harder and it only causes fresh arousal to coat my fingers, the palm of my hand. "You wanna come for me?" I ask, my voice soft and my mind going crazy.

"Y-Yes…" She breathes against my mouth. "Let me come for you, Arizona." Curling my fingers exactly how I know she likes it, her breath catches and her eyes never leave my own. "S-So close…" Her eyes close and she takes her bottom lip between her teeth.

"I know," I whisper against her lips. "I wanna feel you…" Moaning as her orgasm approaches, her gorgeous green eyes flicker open. "I want you to come hard for me." Shifting on the bed a little, I find myself back behind my wife and pulling her body up and back on my own. My nipples pressed against the soft skin of her back, I weave my free hand around her body and press two fingers to her clit.

"Oh, fuck." Writhing back against me, she reaches her arm around us and fists her hand in my hair, gripping it tightly. "Y-Yes, fuck…" Her chest heaves. "D-Don't stop….I-I'm c-coming. Fuck I'm coming." Her body shaking, I don't let up with my movements and she groans as her orgasm courses through her entire body. "Oh, god." Slowing her own body a little, her hips jolt as I roll my fingers over her sensitive clit. "F-Fuck…" She breathes out. "That was something else. I've missed that…"

"Happy anniversary, beautiful." I press a kiss to her shoulder. "I love you…"

"I-I love you, too." She whispers as her breath catches, my fingers still slowly working her body. "Ten years, huh?"

"The most incredible ten years of my life…" I smile.

"You ready for the next ten?" I sit back on my knees and her body falls against me, her head dropping back to my shoulder.

"I'm ready for anything with you…" I breathe out. "One more, okay?" I wrap her up in my arms tight.

"Huh?" She furrows her brow as she studies my face. "One more what?"

"Bundle of joy." I smile.

"Y-Yeah?" She turns in my arms and wraps her legs around my waist. "You mean that?"

"If it's what you want…" I press my lips to her own. "Then yes, I mean it."

"Amazing…" Her voice breaks as she cups my face. "You, Arizona Robbins…are absolutely amazing…"

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always. Can't Let Go is officially done now. Thanks again for all of the support for this fic. It means the world to me.**


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